#i even PHSYICALLY unintentionally INSTINCTUALLY dart my eyes around from thought to thought trying to keep them all in focus | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seretoningghost · 8 months

Text

If I had to explain having adhd it'd be like this :

Its stupid hard. Especially when people just tell you "get better" or "your best is not good enough". Don't even get me started with getting and keeping motivation.

The absolute fact I'm able to do anything is wild, It's like I'm being split in 18ths by a log mill. My best is just that. MY BEST.

Its a mix of the old cringe saying were too many tabs are open - 18 on screen in various sizes - 6 minimized - ABOUT 10 frozen but hey, you can't actually tell because your stretched so far inbetween to check up on em all. And 4 different songs are all playing and you have no idea where its coming from.

And then imagine pong popping up on top of the whole screen completely random - not scheduled at all and there's no way to close it.

But the ball for pong - isn't the ball, its your mouse. And its your train of thought, and the tabs are your thoughts. Now thankfully god gave your jerry rigged system a sliver of hope - pong is translucent. Even better - you can interact with the tabs below.

However, with every passing second pong continues at a speed demon speed - pong will become less translucent, while that happens tabs will slowly close out until it's all gone.

Btw theres no way to beat pong, it just goes on until 'it feels like it'.. And when you click on a tab regardless of how hard you try - all other tabs will shut down instantly.

On top of that your using a shitty 4th party browser with no history - so you can't just pull up a closed tab.

So its balls to the walls or nothing. You can either accept that your going to loose all thought progress (this all usually happens when you were actually needing your brain) and just slowly feel agony as your brain is ransacked and ripped apart for all thoughts.

You can pray you can click back onto your most desired tab before it ghosts you forever.

Or you can just jump off the train and see where you land up, and build your little chaos brain kingdom there. Before pong inevitably shows back up again.

#i even PHSYICALLY unintentionally INSTINCTUALLY dart my eyes around from thought to thought trying to keep them all in focus #not joking ive been asked why my eyes do that #its like a soft lock #or even a mild factory reset like someones teasing turning the key off #adhd #adhd mood #but then noone believes me #i cant even get motivation other than at 2am like whyyy i cant do anything at 2am why am i like this #sorry about the rant #rant #yoo babe wake up new adhd pong lore dropped

4 notes · View notes