#i dunno i'm just rambling at this point
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really like how 90% of the Side Order fanart is either:
angst
or
Pearl and Marina making out in the elevator and Eight/Acht are forced to be in there with them
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i know we talk a lot about the isolation of chronic illness and disability, but i really don't think ablebodied folk get it.
i have made one new friend in person since graduating highschool in 2020. she is my housemate's girlfriend. she stays over frequently, and the only reason we are friends is because she stays over and we have shared university papers. i would not have had the opportunity to befriend her otherwise. that is in the space of three years.
i don't go out much. i cannot guarantee that i will leave my house within any given week. technically i have class i need to go to twice a week for an hour, but those moments aren't time for friends, they're time for classwork and i don't interact with people in a social capacity there.
i simply do not get the opportunity to meet people.
i cannot go out with friends and meet new people that way, because my social circle is already so small, and i don't have the energy to go out half the time anyway. when i do, i suffer for it later.
i don't meet people on campus because i'm immuno-compromised, and ableds seem to have forgotten that we are still in a pandemic.
i don't go to clubs or go out for the sake of going out because i can't. i've grown agoraphobic, because i am so worried that something health related will happen and i'll get stuck somewhere alone. i hate leaving the house because of the guarantee of an anxiety attack which leaves my body more likely to flare. it's a vicious cycle of isolation.
i am not the only one who has experienced this -- i can still leave the house, i can still go and visit friends with assistance. i struggle, but at the end of the day, it's still an option. there are others who are completely isolated.
the worst of it is that people leave. people get tired of the 'i can't come, i'm sorry', of the 'hey, i'm sick, can we postpone?'. even people who you love and hold dearly will stop trying. and it's awful. you have to sit and watch these people who you love walk away because they can't deal with your disability. i don't have words to describe how much that hurts.
it really is impossible for ablebodied people to understand, because for the majority of us, this isn't temporary. this is just how we have to live. and your social circle can only really get smaller.
#feather speaks#actually disabled#actually chronically ill#chronic illness#cripplepunk#physically disabled#cripple punk#i don't really know where i was going with this but the isolation is different from the kind that ablebodied people experience#and i think people got a taste of it with lockdown but it's definitely not the same?#i mean with lockdown it was universal but with us we have to watch other people live their lives and move on#and it's almost like we stay frozen#that's not to say that we don't have fulfilling lives or anything#but i dunno. it feels different#anyway i'm rambling to the void at this point#i just had thoughts and i wanted to put them somewhere
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one of those fictional childhood crushes discussion podcast... type... things, only each character i bring up is probably the villain (and also all of it is probably platonic)
it doesn't make it any less concerning.
#ney's idle chatter (random textposts)#no seriously. as far as i can remember i have almost ALWAYS liked the villain more#it's only in recent years that i started appreciating a wider range of character types#but i still have such a soft spot for good ol glorious bastards#there's probably a scale out there that goes 'fancy - scruffy' on one axis and 'good - evil' on the other.#i dunno i'm rambling. i'm exhausted#baby age captain just sitting in front of a tv pointing at a man with MANY crimes and going 'this one's good' like in lilo and stitch :'P
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I really feel like the reason why Cosmo refused to say her name to anyone other than Sonic was because she remembered the "deal" she made with the Metarex in this point in time before later repressing it, or just had an instinct about it
#My post#Sonic the Hedgehog#Cosmo the Seedrian#PLEASE I FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS AND LOST IT#PAST ME WAS ONTO SOMETHING#I can't tell if that was the actual intention of this moment or not; but it'd make the most sense#Just look at the horror on her face before saying her name; that's gotta mean something#Because this would've been right afterwards but it probably didn't take too long for Cosmo to repress that memory#I dunno I'm just rambling in the tags at this point
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22 isn't very much at all, I think.
#5am rambles#anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps.#you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?#that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes?#that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old?#im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed.#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt.#i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years.#i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best.#I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out#first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay#cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything.#any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic'#so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden.#i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door.#sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems.#that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too.#ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day.#therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope#i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed.#emotions are so hard to figure out.
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ok so.
alex sends messages to maria to let her know he’s alive. then he gets a message to michael through maria to let michael know he’s alive. that leads to alex leading michael to the sinkhole he went through. but max stops him because he believes it’s dangerous without a plan. so michael doesn’t follow alex.
now this episode there’s this portal. that opens up because michael put his console on the holder (no one found this thing in 70+ years? not the air force, the greens, no one?). bonnie points out that there is a place for the star map (currently in clyde’s possession along with the fuel fruit). michael goes through the stargate, and no one (finally) tries to stop him.
and what do we see down in the pocket dimension? alex leaving clues. dallas finds alex’s necklace. on the sign bonnie sees alex has left a clue “AM WAS HERE.” dallas shows up with a backpack. bonnie immediately finds food nearby. what are the chances these are all supplies and clues alex left for michael, believing he was going to come through the quicksand that night he led him there? so that michael could find him.
but now michael’s console is sitting out in the middle of the desert. just there for clyde to find and for him to set up the star map and feed it the fruit fuel and open whatever portal is part of the plan. and the funny thing is, the thing that is making me laugh SO HARD right now is it feels like tezca’s contingency plan was STOPPING whatever plan jones/clyde had. because if alex had succeeded and michael had followed alex down through the quicksand, if max hadn’t stopped him, the console wouldn’t be sitting out there in the open desert waiting for clyde to do whatever it is he wants to do.
just some thoughts.
#roswell new mexico#rnm spoilers#malex#is this meta? i dunno#it's rambling at this point#but i'm just laughing at this point#and making notes for my rewrite of this season
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i should've switched to writing original stuff ages ago bc i could've been overcoming writer's block if i did :' )
#connecting mine and vee's lore in written form is something i've wanted to do forever bc i love love love gaia and kaiya's relationship!!#but i had a mental block towards bio's for... man i dunno how long tbh#i always got really stuck with them which is why i started doing bullet points where i could jot down all my thoughts#but i should have just?? been unafraid to write lengthy bio's i think#and then i could've done fun stuff like this way earlier!! without feeling stuck and slow!!#like honestly i don't even care about the people who won't bother to read my bio's bc those probably aren't the people who will#end up writing with me#i always avoided lengthy bio's bc i didn't wanna inconvenience someone#but how is it inconveniencing if i'm trying to make something interesting and enjoyable to read?#how is it inconveniencing if i'm just?? writing about my muses?? it's silly to water down my creativity and i'm sorry i did it now#now pls know i can give you the tldr on any of my muses bio if you need it asdfgh but i'm gonna just!! do what's fun for me from now on#that's gonna be a very important rule i need to enforce for myself with this blog move#no more doing things that make it harder for myself bc i'm worried about other people#there needs to be a balance and that's what i'm gonna keep in mind going forward uvu#so sorry for the rant oh my gosh asdfgh i just got to thinking and truly my writer's block has not bothered me with dorverold stuff#like it has in the past for other things and i think it's how i've approached writing and world building aka not worrying about length#if i'm struggling it's because i'm tired or busy#ANYWAY ASDFG i promise i'm going to bed now :' ))) good night!!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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I'm just. So tired. I can't be the only gentile who thinks that wishing violent death on anyone who thinks the geopolitics of the I/P conflict aren't as black and white as "Israel bad, Palestine good!" or "Palestine bad, Israel good!" is, y'know. Bad?
Like, you get these kids (as well as people who are old enough to know better) who want to prove they're More Leftist than Thou who will shout about how much they hate Nazis and fascism, and then turn around and say that the Israelis should be cleansed from Palestine, often while spouting straight-up word-for-word Nazi propaganda.
It's really been jarring seeing so many people whom I had previously admired and respected for their leftist views and takes not only start falling for and parroting virulently antisemitic propaganda, but outright stating that anyone who thinks Israel has a right to exist at all should be murdered horribly. They're going on and on about all of the Islamophobic attacks happening around the world right now (of which there are a lot, no denying), and yet they're dead fucking silent about all of the antisemitic hate crimes happening at the same time.
Again, it's possible to want a free Palestine and a free Israel at the same time. It's possible to believe that both Palestinian children and Israeli children deserve to grow up without having to worry about bombings and terrorist attacks. It's possible to want peace and freedom for one without wishing terror, genocide or subjugation on the other. It's not a zero-sum game, for fuck's sake.
Also, it still galls me how many white Americans I see rabidly calling out for the blood of the "colonizing Jews" while they themselves live in a country which was founded by European invaders who committed wide-scale genocide against the native populations and whose government has been gleefully committing all manner of war crimes and atrocities across the world ever since. If Israeli civilians deserve to die for their government's crimes, then what do we deserve?
#i/p conflict#i think i need to mute this tag for a while#it's only breaking my heart and destroying my faith in humanity#i thought that the point is that genocide is bad no matter what#not that genocide is bad when it's done to our side and good when it's done to the other#i mean look#i don't pretend to know how to fix this awful mess#but at least i don't think that the solution is to stop committing genocide against one side and start committing it against the other#i'm just so so tired of all the naked hatred and bloodlust i've been seeing all over this fucking site lately#it has very little to do with justice and a whole fucking lot to do with people just looking for an 'acceptable' target to lash out at#and/or to project their daydreams of the glorious revolution(tm) onto#anyway i know this is long and rambly and probably isn't terribly coherent#but honestly i'm still sorting out my thoughts and emotions on the whole situation and writing it down sometimes helps#dunno if it did this time though
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.....well thank god he's actually an ass. one less on my way-too-long list.
#tidepool chats#DUDE. I JUST FINISHED EVERYTHING#RATIO IS AN ASSHOLE. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE FEW TIMES HE'S RIGHT.#he reeks of overconfident men in academia that think they're hot shit when they're wrong about a lot of things#left a really bad taste in my mouth. i misclicked on something and he fucking BERATES you#not banter. just mean. first interaction is calling you a liar#i dunno fellas i think i'm safe from this one. people calling him the 🌿 of hsr could not be more wrong#like. we'll see i guess. because the ending of the quest was a bit better#and the jerk SHOWS UP IN MY EXPRESS THE SECOND I FINISH THE QUEST. AND PRAISES ME???#so i don't know. seems like the writing is all over the place at least. but i'm not gonna lie i don't need any more exposure to-#-annoying men in academia than i already get#anyway. sorry for rambling.#i want to fucking shoot that asshole at this point
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Sometimes I think about old friends that I don't talk to anymore and I'm like ough. I'm sorry that you knew me at the height of my self deprecation. I'm better now! and I'm really quite charming actually
#okay maybe I'm not..... *entirely* better#I still have plenty of issues don't get me wrong#BUT. I do feel as though my humor has gotten better at variety y'know. it assimilates to the audience before it.#or it tries to anyway.#it's less of a cry for attention now. or perhaps it's just a BETTER cry for attention now. I dunno! but the point is.#actually the point is I was supposed to be going to bed goddamn it why am I still making posts right now#echo rambles
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alright, gonna try to be slightly more organized than last time about my thoughts/theories/observations about Side Order also this might be a shorter post than last time because there isn't a whole ton of trailer, it'll mostly be about the artwork tbh
so I'm just gonna start this by saying I really dislike the "it's all New 3's dream" theory, it feels like a cop-out. I'm not saying it is 110% untrue, just that I don't like it and hope it isn't
how do I explain the transition from the train to Inkopolis Square? New 3's on the train to Inkopolis Square(which is fully unlocked after beating Side Order; the option just takes you to SO until then) and falls asleep, one matrix-y transition later and we're in Eight's pov inside of whatever simulation they got dragged into. it's purely to transition the player from New 3 to Eight, and the events are completely unrelated
or I'm utterly, wholly wrong! who knows!
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another thing I noticed on my millionth trailer rewatch was this
it's just to the right of the tower in the shot where everything materializes. it looks like a filling cabinet? it's in the last trailer we got too, I checked, but not the first teaser(granted, a lot of stuff wasn't)
I dunno, probably not anything super important, but it's not there in the Square in 2, so I thought I'd point it out
edit: look at reblogs, it's probably actually a set of lockers
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I've seen a shockingly small number of people bring up this guy
so far(maybe there's more talk of them on twitter or something idk)
they're clearly pretty prominent, they're next to Acht, Pearldrone, and Eight, so they have to be important, right?
my first guess is that they're something a la CQ Cumber or ORCA, just the one who explains the rules of each level and splats you if you fail. but it feels redundant to have both them and Acht, who already knows a good amount about this place, explaining stuff to you
I dunno I also see twist villain potential from them, just because we haven't seen them before now. like, "hahaha! It was I who fucked up this place, and now that you've helped me hack the mainframe, I can take full control!" or something idk lol
I'm not even gonna try to guess what kind of sea critter they are lmao
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now onto the real stars of the show
these fuckers
hopefully y'all already know that I am a firm believer that the one in the center is Agent 4, seeing as they're the only one of the group with ears and tentacles, and those two features bear resemblance to "canon" Agent 4. the rest don't have those, so that one is clearly important, right? am I being delusional? probably
setting that aside, what are these things in the first place? they're most likely related to the fish guys in some way, both being covered in black goo with glowing red eyes
I personally think that they're either mobile versions of the copy machine from the lobby, or some weird, goopy creation of the simulation used to replace enemy Octolings in gameplay(which is a fun twist, haven't had enemy Inklings before) otherwise I have no idea lol. they're enemy units and that's all I've got
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there's also this thing
featuring a lot of Acht's head
kinda looks like the Octowhirl to me, but like, less octoweapon-y and more coral-ish, with the same red eyes as the fish; probably a boss of some stripe, or tougher enemy
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something else that's probably inconsequential I noticed in the artwork
the different colored color chips have different text on them, probably stating what kind each one is?
notably, the blue one(the one used in the trailer) doesn't have the same text on it, that moved to the red one
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I think that's it for now; I have picked apart the artwork as much as I can/want
I'll bet if we get a direct before the 22nd, we'll get one more small trailer or maybe just a repeat of this one. though judging by the trailers Nintendo's been releasing lately, that feels oddly unlikely to me
but idk I'm just a weirdo who likes staring at fictional cephalopods
#splatoon#splatoon 2#splatoon 3#side order#splatoon 3 side order#octo expansion#dedf1sh#acht splatoon#agent 8#agent 4#side order theory#i think this might be longer than last time actually lol#i dunno i'm just rambling at this point
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i know everyone's told me to rest because i'm sick but i just can't. it doesn't feel right. i need to do everything i can rn because i'm scared that any second we'll be told to get out NOW
#there's a lot of legal shit going on so i'm really unsure when exactly we'll have to leave#my mom keeps telling me to pack an overnight bag just in case and i know she's right but there's other things i need to do first#plus i'm not leaving my computer here. i'm just not. i can't. it's my most important possession. it keeps me sane if you can call it that#i need to get everything else ready before finishing getting my ''i need these with me at all times'' stuff ready#because so much shit is in the way like i still need to take out trash and do more laundry#and get more things that have already been in boxes forever out of here. also the closet door is stuck so that's a problem#i don't even care about most of the shit in my closet like i know there's stuff from my childhood in there but i don't remember what#other than that it's junk. and decorations i bought for an eventual apartment but when the fuck is that even gonna happen#i know i'm sitting here doing nothing rn as i'm typing this but i'm like mentally stuck on what to do next without my mom's help#and she's not here rn. plus there's some dude that her shitty ex is letting stay downstairs rn ? for some reason ?#and i just don't feel comfortable leaving the room to get food or take out trash or change out the laundry. it's just weird#plus i'm sick and he has a weak immune system and like. i dunno i don't wanna be responsible for that#anyway sorry i'm rambling. i know it's understandable at a time like this but i just feel bad that this is all i'm talking about rn#i'm just so fucking depressed and stressed and tired and i've barely eaten anything for the past few days#i can't even have fun or talk to any friends like i normally do. my brain won't let me and it just doesn't feel right. i can't be happy rn#for even a second. it's just not the right time. there's nothing to be happy about. i have no hope at this point that things will work out
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A thing that’s always low-key irked me about a lot of science-fiction set in outer space is that all the worlds encountered overwhelmingly have a single, planet-wide government.
Which I understand! Nation-states are an arbitrary and relatively modern political invention and any wide-scale space travel is a huge endeavor that would require the cooperation if not unification of an entire planet and its resources to achieve, and in some settings its an almost utopian achievement.
But the drawback is that is that sci-fi also shrinks the worlds and homogenizes them. If you go to Blorbob V, where you land is a perfect microcosm of all of Blorbob V. The people there are dressed the same, look the same, speak the same language, have basically the same set of values, and it’s the same thing across the whole planet. Or implied to be.
I guess what I’m trying to articulate is, in science-fiction, instead of rejecting the nation-state in its entirety, most sci-fi planets are reduced into a single homogenized nation-state rather than being hugely diverse places where billions of people with thousands of distinct cultures and languages exist.
#Science Fiction#space opera#alien planet#Sci Fi Tropes#cultural hegemony#Nerd Rant#I'm sure people far smarter than I have noticed this same thing and probably discussed it at length#I just wanted to...ramble out loud#'cause I'm not crazy right?#and yes I sort of get it:#planets are tiny places in the scheme of the whole greater universe#we are but one pale blue dot yada yada ad-nauseum#and I understand like...space stations and asteroid colonies because they're *small*#you could also point out that the homogenization is like...the danger OF unifying and joining some intergalactic community#where no one bothers to learn that Blorbob V has more than just one language#something like that would actually be fascinating!#the closest I've seen is some of the works of Ann Leckie#where the protagonist is a bit mocked by the forgotten (and second-class people of a planet)#because she assumed *everyone* from the planet spoke the same language and were celebrating the same festival#I dunno I'd just like to see more of that because if done right it would really#bring the sci-fi world to life while also commenting ON cultural hegemony and other big-word stuff#which...isn't that the point of sci-fi in the first place?
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good morning! <3
#it's the day~~#i do have a story to post (that I've been saving for his anniversary so <33#but normal plans - i got to 55% exploration on the region I'm working on yesterday so more of that#i just dunno if i'm gonna do that new tower today or the underwater stuff first lol#(that gives away which region i'm working on doesn't it lol)#as for the rest of today...#i'll try to let him make his own posts but it depends on how my brain works today#plus i dunno how active he'd actually be on social media so lol#i'll probably also see if i can find some pics of him to reblog at some point ^^#anyways~#i hope you all have a good morning/night!! <3#morning rambles
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my brain is no longer even trying to cooperate so i'm gonna read over linguistics stuff and maybe finally finish my book and pass out uvu tbh i think my lack of sleep is catching up to me, so i'm sorry about the lack of writing tonight! i really did think i'd get more done. i'll try again tomorrow, and in the meantime, y'all have a lovely night/day <3
#i've been functioning okay but i haven't been getting the sleep i really need lately and it's showing#it's just so hard to let myself go to bed sometimes? especially if i'm having fun or have ideas i really wanna explore#and tbh even when i have an empty brain i just!! will stay up needlessly!! i dunno why!!#i'll knock out no issue but getting to the point where i let that happen is the issue asdf#anyway i'm gonna go read till i pass out!! good night friends!! mwah!!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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I hate how grief works sometimes
#some days you're doing really well and you're happy and you can almost forget about it#and then out of nowhere smthn reminds you of it and its like a tidalwave of pain & hurt like the thing is happening all over again#i dunno what im even grieving over at this point#but ik im at least still sad abt it#if only time machines existed#but they don't so i just have to keep moving#i wish i knew how 2 call off of work tomorrow bc I'm just really not feeling it at all#elliot rambles#mini rant#kinda
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