#i dont even care yeah sure i guess yoy can say he would do that. like it fucking matters.
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so depressed i cant even get whipped into a bitchy righteous fury over bad takes about my interests on tumblr dot com anymore this is a serious code red
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the stars that touch the earth
Summary: Marinette and Alya go on a spontaneous road trip out of the city to see the stars that don't appear in Paris' sky.
A/N: Finally getting around to posting my Alyanette piece I wrote for PML’s Sky Zine! I forgot about it and I could’ve posted like a week ago, woops.
AO3
Blankets lay scattered across the balcony-turned-garden. Fairy lights were draped across the latticework, a few wrapped around the branches of a small tree that grew there. A couple of plates sat on the edges of the blankets, crumb-covered and forgotten as the hands that had used them just moments before intertwined with each other instead.
Alya and Marinette had their backs on the blankets and their eyes on the sky as they gazed upon the false stars in the horizon made by the city. Their breathing came in tandem as they drank in the night, moonlight illuminating the hope they clung to as they learned more and more about the world they lived in.
Sounds of the nearby river and passing cars filled the air, just barely quiet enough for the radio's static-ridden music to play over it. All of it was almost too loud for Alya to hear Marinette when she whispered, "Hey, Peaches... if you could change one thing about Paris, what would it be?"
Taking a moment to consider her answer, Alya shifted to prop herself up, and stared out across the city she and Marinette both defended. "I think... I think I would love to see the stars again, so, less pollution... more care for the environment. That would be nice."
Marinette hummed in agreement. "I think I'd like the same."
Their conversation petered out after that, they simply laid there, basking in the presence of each other just long enough for Alya to fall into a light slumber. Marinette's gaze moved from the landscape and settled on her partner, her best friend. She watched her during a couple of songs before she grabbed her phone and started to text a certain superhero and model friend of theirs.
[From: Mar You Ready]
[To: Camembert Boy]
hey i need a favor
please
think of it is a way to make up for the day of dead flowers
[From: Camembert Boy]
[To: Mar You Ready]
I've apologized for that like 100 times
it wasnt my fault nino spooked me :(
who puts flowrs that close to the edge anyways
what do yoy need though, my lady? ;3c
[From: Mar You Ready]
[To: Camembert Boy]
can als and i borrow one of your dad's cars tmrrow?
[From: Camembert Boy]
[To: Mar You Ready]
ummm i dont think i can get a car for you :/
but!! the van i use to help nino lug his equipment around should be free
want me to drop it off tomorrow morning??
[From: Mar You Ready]
[To: Camembert Boy]
please!!!! btw dont tell als
and also thanks love u, goin to bed now so i wont msg back :*
sweet dreams, purrfect boy
Dropping her phone beside her, she curled into Alya's side, dragging a blanket over Alya and herself and falling asleep.
When morning came, Marinette woke to a bright-eyed Adrien staring down at her, shaking from silent laughter.
"You guys are the most irresponsible responsible people I know," he whispered with a chuckle. "C'mon, get up." Holding his hand out to her, she took it and was pulled to her feet, careful so as not to wake Alya.
The two went inside and talked quietly about Marinette's plans. Adrien, as supportive of her spontaneity as ever, smiled and nodded along with everything she said.
"...and I was thinking we'd stay out most of the night and bring the van back tomorrow. Is that fine?"
"Yeah, that totally works. Nino won't need it for a couple of days anyways- we're going on a couple dates," he said, waggling his eyebrows.
Marinette snorted and playfully pushed him. "Where're you planning on going?" she asked, getting up to start prepping for the trip.
"I dunno, Nino wouldn't tell me… It's all a big mystpurry," he joked, laughing a little too loudly when she threw a pillow at his face. "C'mon, you have to admit that was a good one. If you do, the keys are yours." He took them from his pocket and held them above her head in a teasing way.
"Alright, fine. That was a purrty good one," she admitted, smiling ear-to-ear.
"I've taught you so well," he said, miming the wiping away of a tear.
"Ha ha, very funny." She rolled her eyes. "Anyways, I hope your dates go well."
"Thanks, I hope yours does too," he replied, stepping forward for a hug before handing her the keys. "Drive safe, alright?"
"Will do, Chaton. Ask Maman and Papa for something on your way out."
He gave a nod, another quick hug, and bid her farewell. Marinette tossed the keys into the air and caught them, glad that Adrien had been so receptive to her plan, and rushed to get ready before Alya would wake.
Thirty minutes went by, and Marinette had managed to shower, throw a few blankets in the backseat of the van, pack some snacks and beverages, and program the GPS to bring them outside the city. She ran inside to her parents, and explained to them her plan. They, unsurprisingly, supported her wholeheartedly, even going so far as to insist she take the fresh batch of pastries they'd just set out to cool. Marinette, thankful, agreed and gave them each a quick hug before going back to her balcony to jostle Alya awake.
"Sweets, time to get up, love," she murmured, sinking to her knees to press a kiss on Alya's cheek.
Alya's dark lashes fluttered at the contact, and soon hazel eyes met blue, one pair sleepy and curious, the other alight with excitement. Marinette shook the keys and smiled widely.
"Get up and shower so we can get this thing started!"
"Get what thing started? And what if I didn't wanna shower?"
"I'll still love you," Marinette promised. "And our road trip, of course!"
"Our.... our what? When did we plan this?"
"Road trip. And not we, I. You said you'd love to see the stars again, so I thought we could do that. How's about it?"
Alya hummed. "Let's just cuddle here for a few more minutes, then I'll get up, 'kay?" Without waiting for a response, she moved so her arms wrapped around Marinette and nestled into her legs.
Marinette let out an airy laugh and set the keys down so she could play with Alya's hair. Alya sighed contentedly and Marinette relaxed further, falling into the soothing motions and losing track of time. Only when her mother called up from her room's entrance did both of them break out of their trance-like state.
"Guess I should get up now, huh?" Alya breathed, holding Marinette tighter even as she knew she'd have to let go.
"That would probably be best," Marinette smiled.
Groaning, Alya started to get up, and Marinette helped her to her feet. "So, you go shower, and I'll double check that everything's ready! Meet you in the car in 35?"
"Sounds good," Alya replied with a yawn as she stretched her arms and climbed down the hatch into Marinette's room.
Marinette grinned and followed after, snorting when she sees a ladybug clinging to Alya's shirt. She brushed it off and made sure it got outside before going through her list of things needed once more.
By the time night fell, the couple had gotten lost or went the wrong way no less than eight times, not that they cared. Each time the GPS had to reroute, they broke into loud guffaws, tears forming in the corners of their eyes. They also needed to stop for gas once, and they were lucky to be heroes, because the vehicle had ran out of fuel before they could reach the station. Needless to say, the employees were somewhat shocked to see the famed Ladybug pushing the van into the lot with a cackling civilian in the driver's seat. Still, even with all of that, they made it to their destination on time, and Ladybug, who had promptly hopped into the driver's seat and forgotten to detransform as she drove off, pulled off of the road a ways and came to a halt.
"So, Mademoiselle Ladybug, have any time to answer a few questions for your biggest fan?" Alya teased, poking Ladybug's shoulder.
"I dunno," she answered, "are you sure you're my biggest fan?"
"Oh, absolutely, without a doubt."
"Well, if you say so, I'd love to answer some questions for you."
"Great!" Alya unclicked her seatbelt and leaned into Ladybug's side. "Question one... do you love me?"
Rather than answering with her words, Ladybug turned towards her and pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips.
"Second question: if you could be anywhere in the world, where would you be?"
"New York," she said without hesitating, laughing when Alya punched her in the shoulder. "Okay, okay, you're right. I wouldn't want to be anywhere you're not, so right here is perfect."
"Aw, you do love me."
"Well, of course."
They exchanged a small smile.
"Question three. If I asked to kiss you, would you let me?"
"Not until you ask question four."
"You know me so well. Okay, we'll hold off on kissing. The final question I have for you is: will you detransform and reveal to me your secret identity right now, where no one else will see?"
Pink light flooded the van for a short moment, and when it faded, Marinette sat in Ladybug's place, smiling from one ear to the other. "I would do it without an ounce of hesitation, every time," she admitted, so honest that Alya flushed just the tiniest bit.
Not knowing how to go on from there, Marinette leaned in so their foreheads touched. "How about that kiss now, Mademoiselle Reporter?"
"On the record?" she asked, inching closer, leaving just enough space between their lips that Marinette's inevitable response might close it.
"On the record," Marinette confirmed, closing the space without a second thought.
Their kiss was soft and sweet, but in no way did it lack passion, even as it drew to an end as quickly as it began. Marinette pulled back.
"We can continue this interview later, if you'd like, Peaches. But for now, I think we should check out the stars in all their glory."
"Probably a good call," Alya said with a chuckle. "If we don't stop now, I think we'd miss the entire night."
"Probably," Marinette agreed, unbuckling herself and getting out. From the back, she took out multiple blankets, all old projects of hers. It took only a few minutes for her and alya to spread them out on the van's top, and an extra couple of minutes to turn the radio on as well as bring up the food and drinks.
The two settled in, laying down with their shoulders touching and their pinky fingers holding onto each other in an unspoken promise. The stars shone brightly in the sky, twinkling and dancing in the reflections of their eyes, closer just then than they could ever be otherwise.
If Marinette had to pick one word to describe the moment, the only one worthy would be 'perfect.' There was truly no other place she wanted to be, and there was no one she would rather be with.
As if reading her thoughts, Alya rolled her head enough to leave a kiss on Marinette's shoulder and whispered, "I love you, Mari."
"I love you too, Als," Marinette murmured back, pressing closer into Alya and burying her nose in her hair. One thing she had come to appreciate over time was the constant of how Alya smelled. At first, it was peaches and cinnamon. But, as time went on, it became the smell of home, of comfort, of not being alone. Marinette loved how she smelled. She voiced it, and felt Alya's hand cover hers completely and squeeze, putting forth all the words she wished to say but couldn't convey through words alone.
"Als?"
"Yeah?"
"I hope tonight never ends. The stars. You. Us. I don't want any of it to end."
"It won't end."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Thanks, Alya," Marinette said, relaxing fully into her side. Her head lay in the space between Alya's own head and her shoulder.
"No, Mari. Thank you," she replied. "You helped me see the stars again, after mentioning how I missed them just once. And you made sure I wasn't alone by coming along. This is one of the greatest things anyone's ever done for me, and I'm so, so impossibly grateful for it. Again, thank you Mari. I hope I can do something similar for you one day."
"You already have, just by being here with me." She gave a warm smile and turned to face the sky again.
A streak of light flew overhead, and instead of making a wish, both thanked the star for their wishes coming true on the first day they met. Their wishes, which had asked for happiness.
The night went on.
#miraculous ladybug#alyanette#alya césaire#marinette dupain-cheng#adrien agreste#ml#platonic adrienette#background adrino#my fic#fluff#Ladybug#Alyabug
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I just had basically a panic attack or whatever over my dad calling for dinner. Oh but who would guess being singled out by a scream "FLOOOOOF! COME EEEAT!" every freaking night and told "COME ON HONEY" and "DID YOU HEEEEAR?" "FLOOOOOF?" "FLOOOF? ANSWEEEER?" doesn't give me, the girl who's terrified of eating to the point where she skips meals almost everyday, panic attacks. Dear god i cant freaking eat dad, I CANT EAT BECAUSE IT TRIGGERS MY GODDAMN OCD. But nooooooo. Apparently nobody bothered to ask me my triggers or even do some research after my diagnosis. And forgive me lord if Im not enthusiastic about explaining it myself becase EVERY GODDAMN TIME I TOLD SOMEONE THEY FORCED ME TO DO IT ANYWAYS. Told me "but the food is gooood" and "come oon, you need to eeeeeat" like i stg i'm so fucking tired
Of people telling me for an hour and a half to come fuck myself over with triggers and panic all the way and not be able to eat and be ashamed of myself and feel weak and unable to do anything. Like Jesus guys IT TRIGGERS MY OCD. MEANING THAT I CANT FUCKING EAT PEACEFULLY. I SONT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK IF ITS GOOD OR NOT. ITLL SCARE ME TO FUCKING HELL.
And yeah, for supportive parents they sure are doing the fucking lords job right? After fucking up myself to ask fir help thar never vame and was always denied or stripped to its bare minimums then told to accept that as tje ultimate help, I finally ficking tet someone who validates me and gives me a diagnosis. Ans yoy funky get fuckjng told to your faces that FORCING KIDS TO FACE THEOR FEARS IS THE WORST THING FOR THEIR HEALTH. And MAYBE if you knew anything at fucking all you'd fucking realize that when I HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR HELP OUT OF FEAR OF BEING SHAMED FOR IT, maybe is your fault???? And maune it impedes on mh recovery???? And maube i shouldn't be the only one to fucking take stepd to retake that???? Im all foe fu king getting the help I gucking need but for fucks sake cant any of you look like you can more for, I dunno, fucking parenting, other than whatever fycking meal you're having???? Is it roo kuch to ask to help me retake my right to asking for the hospital since its been mentioned at that same fucking meeting we talk about that I've tried asking for goddamn help and you said no????
Like you had a goddamn professional tell you that WHEN YOUR KIDS WANT HELP, YOU CANT DENY IT. And that by pretending that I jad to tough it up, you fucked me up way more. And thw most I got was a half assed sentence of "BUT IM PLACING ALL THE BLAME ON MYSELF, ITS UNHEALTHY" as fucking soon as the goddamn bells rang.
Like you had the nerve to ACXUSE ME of NOT asking for help and fucking NOT telling you anything. Ans believe it or not I STILL FUCLING THOUGHT THAT about a second ago. But honestly? WHY THE FUCK SHOULD ANULNE BE HONORABLY FORCED TO ASK FOR HELO THAT TJEU KNOW WILL NEGER VOME??? JUST SO YOU CAN SAY I WAS THE PERFECT VICTIM WHO STILL BELIEVED IN YOU???? BECAUSE AFTER ALL THIS CRAP, AFTER BEING TOLD THE TRUTH, THE FIRS TTHING IM TOLD WHEN WE GET OUT IS THAT I NEED "TO TRUST YOU MORE"? AND "TELL YOU ABOUT MY FEELINGS?" am I someone's fucking puppet here??? Do you just want ro ficking play with me until youre done?????
Like what the fuck???? YOU THOUGHT I "DID THE WRONG THING" BY NOR ASKING COR HELP. BUT YOU SONS OF DEMONS, YOU HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN YOUR PHILOSOPHY WAS THAT FUCKED UP PIECE OF MENTALITY FROM THE GODDAMN FARK AGES THAT YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR KIDS TO FUCK OFF. OKAY??? YPU KNEW THAT ENOIGJ TO EXPLAIN IT IN BARF-INCUDING CLARITY HOW APPARENTLY ONE SINGLE GUCKING BOOK ON ANXIETY IN KDIS WAS ENOUGB TO RID YOU OF YOUR ENTIRE HUMAN BRAIN AND SUDDENLY IT DIDNT MATTER HOW MUCH WE CRIED AND BEGGED AND GELT ALONE AND NEEDED YOUR SHIR COMFORT, TOU DIDNT CARE???? WELL FUESS WHAT???? THE FIRS TTHING YOU TELL ME WHEN SHE SPEAKS, BLESS THWT DOCTIR, IS THAT I DONT EVEN ASK FOR HELP. and bless me I told them YO I ASKED FOR THE HOSPITAL AND YOU TOLD ME I WASNT SICK ENOUGH. AND YOU BOTH HAD THE GODDAMN MIND TO REFUTE IT. UNTIL MOM TOLD DAD TO STOP BEXAUSE "SHES RIGHT, ITS OUR FAULT, OUR BAD".
Like what the fuck??? Tou already knew that you wouldn't have given any help anyways??? Why the fuck am I even supposed to fucking ask??? Why did you EVER tell me to ask??? Was ir so you could feel fucking welcome??? So you could feel so fucking badass and awesome telling me the goddamn word of light exquisite and God Almighty in his tree in heaven that "FIND AOLUTIONS AND STOP CRYING"???? OR, NO, WAIT, EZCUSE ME, WAD I SUPLOSED TO COME SEE YOU SO YOU COULD PEP-TALK ME INTO FUCKING OFF FROM FEELINGS LAND AND "FIND SOLUTIONS"??? Did you want to feel like you gave me comfort without actually giving me some??????
Like what the fuck???????????? And -- why the FUCK foes it STILL appear smart tp tell me to fucking TELL YOU SHIT? GUYS I TOLD TOU MORE SHOT I WAS LEGALLY ONLIGATED TO. YOU CAME TO MEET MY THERAPISTS. YOU GOT THE BRIEFINGS WITH ME WHEN I INVITED YOU. YOU GOT TO SEE MY PSYCHIATRIST, AND MY DOSSIER, AND MY MEDS. I TOLD YOU I NEEDED A LISTENING EAR AND NOT AFVICE, I TOLD YOU I FELT SCARED SOMETIMES OF EATING, I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY OBSESSIONS, I ASKED YOU IF I COULD GO TO BE HOSPITALIXED BECASUE OCD GOT TOO BAD.
And you laughed at my fuccking obsessions. When i was a kid my biggest trigger was barfing, and bile. And guess fucking what? You fucking laughed around and invented the worst fucking single thing ever to say "fuck you get better" which was switching the goddamn syllables together and fuckinf singing it to me like it was fine now. Fucking laughing at me whenever ai had goddamn panic attacks. I diagnosed my own goddamn trigger at, what, ten? BUT I NEGER ASKED FOR HELP BECAUSE YOU FUCKINF LAUGHED AT ME EVERYTIME I CLOSED MY EYES AND MY EARS AND PANICKED TO CHANGE THE TOPIC. I WAS FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE. I COULD NOT BEAR IT. AND WHEN YOU SAW A TERRIFIED CHILD, YOU SID NOTHING EXCEPT LAUGH AND SAY "there, now they're done with talking, tou can stop closing your ears now". YOU FUCLING NOTICED JN THE WORST WAY POSSUVLR. I REGRET SHOWING YOU THE FIRST ENTRY I MADE ON THIS. I WAS SO ASHAMED OF IT. I THOUGHT IT EAS WRONG. OR SHAMEFUL. AND -- GUESS WHAT? I THOUGHT IT WAS YNIQUE TO MEZ TOO. IT WA THE SINGLE MOSR SCARY TJING IN MY EXIDTENCE. MY CHEST BURNED AND SQUINTED AND I FELT JOT AND I CRIED AND VRIED AND BEGGED AND YELLED IN MY HEAD FOR PEOPLE TO STOP, IN THE BUS, AT SCHOOL, AT HOME. AND IF YOUD BEEN SLIGHTLY GIOD AT YOUR FUCKINF JOB I MOGHT HAVE TOLD YOU FUVKASSES. BHT NO. AND GUEDS WHAT? UNLESS WHST YOUVE FUCKING TOLD ME, BEING IN PAIN IS NOT ONLY VALID OR UNSHAMEFUL WHEN YOU ASK ADULRS WHAT TO DO. FOR HOW FUCLING LONG HACE I BEEN TOLD THAT PAIN DOESNT MATTER UNLESS AN ADULT IS ON THE CASE? HOW LONG HACE U WANRED SOMEWHRRE WHERE GODDAMN ADULTS DIDNT FUCK YOU OVER? DIDNT CONTR EVERY THOUGHT YOH HAD? WHERE SAYING "YOURE WRONG" ISNT AN INSULT? WJERE KIDS ARENT JUST DENIED A COICE BECAUSE THEYRE KIDS?
Ughhhhh.how many times should I get convinced that your help is worth crap? That searching for your goddamn advice and "comfort" is of any goddamn help? That what shit you give me is actually good enough?? What this it worth my time? That I should be looking at myself??? That i should be squinting and hating myself???? That I'm not worth saving??? That -- goddamnit. God fucking samn jt. Goddamnit im so done with all these excuses. I'm so fucking -- I wanted help, I wanted love, I wanted excuses and loce and light and fear and farkness and friends and family and I cant even talk anymore. I cant talk from myf eeljngs anu.kre. I have ti go on goddamn instinct because my goddamn vortex is fucked up. I realize I eas incpaable of having a mental nature by myself at 8. When I eas alone, I couldn't feel anything. I felt aimless, I just felt nothing. I couldnt bring myself to feel anything. I ducking mtocied that, and yes, tou noticed to, but your goddamn reaction was to tell me to get a life and stop obsessing about that friend I used to play with and just learn to do shit myself and do shit on my own. (Basically, to my own stupid ass brain, this trainwreck of a sentence means I was like a kid who needed autonomy from their parents and needed to learn their life was their own.) Bur yeah!!!! Whenever I was alone I didnt give a shit!!!! I felt aimless!!! Lost!!! Shitty!!!!! And when I first saw myself as a disgusting hump of crap I was 10, I wss running happily and sang a song about witches ans I saw myseld in my head and god I looked like garbage and I hated it. I hated what I looked like. I resented the idea that people had to see me. I thought, why do people even stay with me, I'm disgusting. I can never pinpoint the reason becauee yes, my brain is that fucked-up. Someday it will be back.
But seriously. Does anyone else have old stores from early teens where everyone kept fuclibg Escalon without telling their parents?where kids didnt go home? Where the bes tthi g ws just leaving forever? Anyone think the second arc of Warriors was the bestBEXAUE THEY LEAVE and you KNOW they'll leave and you KNOW things are always better and sorry Leafpaw bur I hated tour arc like goddamn shit itself because SCREW THE CLANS, I hate them and I wanted ro leave anywhere that ft like home.
What do kids feel about their homes? Do fhey ever wish they moved? Do they ever seriously ask themselves why the fuck anyone would want to live here? Do they find it unnapealing? Are you supposed go be HAPPY to come home after a trip? Are you supposed to feel completely shitty from coming back, like a failure? Like you weren't supposed to come back, you were supposed to stay awau forever?
Did any kids have zero track of time? Did any kids watch old videos from babytime and realize that there's just something fucking terrifying about it without knowing fucking why?
I saw a kid watch a video on repeat of her dad doing something random like, an old baby recording from when the kud was running in the hallway and he caught her. She watched it on repeat for so, so long , until her phone stopped working I think. And i Remember being touched in a way I neger knew possible, and telling myself from the top of my ripe old 13th year, well thars not something ive ever done or wanted to do. I remember going, why the fuck would you do that? Aren't you happy hes gone? Aren't you happy to be gone?
I remember being straight terrified of my paternal grandmother at 5 only to realize yeara later that she used to be violent and terribly abusive to everyone. I remember being terrified of my aunt's husband, and feeling something undescribable that felt lile a stabbing wound in my aunt's eyes, until I finally learned that he used to beat her. I remembwr hating Éric Salvail for some reason and being really u comfortable around him until BAM, guess who was a goddamn creep and sexual harrassment pro? This guy. I remember so many fucking things that made me uncomfortable and it turned out to be right, about people at least.
But I remember hating my own picture for as long as I can remember. My face unsettles me. I never fully write why, or go to the end of my thoughts. I have problems, I know. I hope knowing what they are will help.
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