The plot of what would have been The Elementalists book 3

DEVASTATING?!?!??!,!?!??

SHOULD YOU EVER NEED IT?!?!?!?!?!?!? NEED IT FOR WHAT?!?!?

Omg I can't get enough of your Jinhai Jubal and mc post! Could you possibly write another? If so, can the prompt be "I love him, not you!" Could you also do it ever MC cheats on Isuel?? Please with lovestruck on top???

Also answered: “You enjoyed it the first time, why not have it a second?”Continuation to “I’ll keep you warm” with Jinhai.The formatting didn’t stick the first time so I had to delete and repost. Sorry about that ^^’. A little more explicit than I’m used to. Warnings for cheating. Name used here is Hannah. ——Sometimes, I feel sick in my own skin. My body has become a cage that I want to escape. A foreigner’s touch has invaded me and locked me up in chains. I despise what I have let myself become even as I enjoy it. As terrible as it is, there is a thrill that comes from being with him-Jinhai. The forbidden fruit tastes so much sweeter, and I’ve learned that first hand. There is an edge of excitement to doing something that is wrong, and I’ve learned to take it as a high. My breath comes out in shallow pants as I adjust my clothing. My skin burns with a foreign touch and disgust lingers at the back of my mind, yet even I can’t pretend I did not enjoy it. I gather what little is left of my tattered dignity and self respect and rise to my full height. My fingers work on the lacing of my clothing and I silently mourn that my hair is a mess. I will have to fix it before leaving. “This was a mistake,” I hiss. It is a mistake, a terrible and twisted mistake, yet one I had plunged into headfirst. From his place next to the base of the tree, Jinhai gives a twisted smirk. He has already dressed and rests his back against the bark in a cruel afterglow. He looks like a cat that devoured a canary-A canary that offered herself up willingly. “You can pretend not to like it all you want,” he shrugs lazily and his smirk widens, “But you were screaming the entire time.”I clench my jaw, revulsion simmering at the pit of my stomach, and ignore him. My fingers go about pulling a leaf out of my hair. My entire body feels wrong and I will desperately need a bath to scrub away my regret-or attempt to anyway. The reality of the betrayal I have just committed begins to sink in and I have to bite down on my tongue to keep the tears at bay. I burn with self loathing and self hatred. It fills me up and threatens to shatter me. I walked into this. I asked for this. I agreed to this. I did this. I shake my head and move away. My legs ache and my body is sore, yet I try to ignore the pain. I pick up my fallen sword from feet away and contemplate burying the blade in my chest. Perhaps my death will cleanse my dishonor. The sun glints off the metal and I bite down on my lip this time. My lips are swollen and I know I will have a lot to account for when I get back to my encampment. My head suddenly aches from everything. “This will never happen again,” I whisper it to myself but of course he hears it. The snake that has tempted me into eating the apple, Jinhai, snorts to himself. He stands suddenly from his tree and stretches. His neck is red with bite marks, marks that match mine, and there’s scratches on his forearms. “We both know that’s a lie,” he tilts his neck sideways to crack it. I dig the sword into my hand and clench my fingers around the hilt until my knuckles turn white. “It’s not.”Another huff of laughter at the back of his throat. “You couldn’t stay away before and you won’t be able to stay away now. You will be back, little bird.”The idea to bury the sword in my body surfaces again and it seems more tempting this time. “I love him, not you.” I fling the sentence at him as if it would make a difference. As if the words will strike true and suddenly erase what has transpired between us. As if one phrase will suddenly send us back in time to a place where I did not hate myself and did not hurt the one person I cared about the most in life. Of course, the words fall flat. They reach Jinhai and disintegrate into nothing. The letters crumble like ash and he brushes them off with cold indifference. “You speak as if I care. I made it clear that I feel nothing for you. Your little Prince can have your heart, little bird, I just want your body.”At the mention of Iseul, I feel like vomiting. It is all I am to force the bile in my throat back down. My hands shake against the sword and I suddenly really need to leave. The woods seem to be closing up on me and a claustrophobia I have never felt before threatens to suffocate me. I spin around from him and face the way back to my encampment. My back serves as a wall between us, a wall he has already breached because I opened the gate, and I squeeze my eyes shut. If only time were a setting we could control. If only I could hit a button and send myself back in time. If only actions were words on paper you could drag an eraser through. If only…“This will never happen again,” I repeat. There’s no comment but I can feel the full extent of his stare on me. Jinhai’s gaze is amused, taunting, and I know he thinks of me a liar.The worst part is, I know I am one too. I trap my lip between my teeth and clench until it becomes painful. Shaking my head to keep from saying something else, I take a step forward and begin my walk of shame.

My walk of shame leads me to the camp Reiner has set up. Morning has casted its glow around us and people have begun to move about. My breath hitches when I spot Iseul to one side. He strings arrows on his bow when I approach. Upon seeing me, his face brightens and he comes forward. Affection shines in his gaze, a cold change from the lust that burned in Jinhai’s, and I have to remember how to breathe. A weird sense of panic fills me and I worry about the scarlet letter that I am sure has been scorched into my skin before Iseul throws an arm around me. “Hannah! You woke up early this morning,” he brushes a kiss on my cheek. Breathing suddenly becomes difficult and another wave of revulsion fills me. I plaster a smile on my face, something that feels impossible to do, and shake my head. “I wasn’t tired,” I murmur. My fingers brush a lock of his hair back-hair so similar to the one I had been tugging on hours before-and I suppress my shiver. A frown adorns Iseul’s features and he takes my hand in his. His fingers stroke my wrist where a dark mark is. Jinhai had held me down hard enough to have left an imprint on my skin. It is just another brand to ensure I do not forget what has transpired. As if my conscience would allow me to forget. “Are you hurt?” Concern shines in Iseul’s gaze and he scans me from head to toe. My clothing covers most of the marks and bruises, and I shiver with the realization that I am thankful for it. I tug absently at my collar and raise it higher with the paranoia that he will see something. I do not know whether it would be bad if he did. The false smile on my face strains just a little. “No, I was just practicing with my sword.”The lie falls flat in my ears, the bruises on my hands cannot be explained away with my excuse, but Iseul believes me. His smile softens again and he intertwines our fingers together. His lips brush across my knuckles and he nods in understanding. I clench my jaw so tightly I am worried my teeth will crack. An urge to spill my sins out fills me. I could tell him now, could bare myself to him, and beg for his forgiveness. I could be honest with him, take a weight off my shoulders, and deal with the punishment-But I am a coward. The words, ’I cheated on you. I’m sorry’, form on my tongue but won’t leave my mouth. The inside of my mouth feels like lead and I can’t get the phrase out. Thankfully, I never get the chance to gather my courage. Iseul gives a light tug to my hand and nods to where the other retainers are gathered. “We’re about to attack. Magnus’ forces haven’t spotted us yet, so we have the element of surprise on our hands. Do you want to have something to eat before we fight?”Food is an unwelcome concept now. If I consume anything, I will throw it back up. To devour something after being devoured feels terrible somehow. I push past it and shake my head. “No.”Iseul’s lips thin in worry, he mumbles something about me needing to eat, but he relents. I let him guide me to the retainers where war strategy is underway. The camp’s energy sings with the promise of battle. Our sneak attack will happen very soon, and a part of me wishes Jinhai would not survive it. Perhaps if he dies, my regret will die with him. Of course, I know this will not be the case.

Our sneak attack is another stalemate. We do not make any leeway against the Generals, but we also do not suffer heavy casualties. Our forces gather back after the remnants of the fight has disappeared, and we begin to plan our departure. Reiner has opted for us to stay at the Falke Inn for the next few days, and all of us have agreed. August’s family has welcomed us in and prepared rooms for each of us. A warm meal sits in front of us and a warm bed awaits us upstairs. I am sharing with Iseul, something he himself requested, and I’m not quite sure whether that’s a blessing or the beginnings of the divine punishment that awaits me. The soup scalds the inside of my mouth and feels wrong on my tongue. Every swallow is as heavy as lead. I haven’t felt alright since this morning. I swirl my spoon around my bowl. I’ve done something terrible, something I can never take back, and I don’t know what to do. I bear the regret and shame of it everywhere I go. This will be my punishment. Atlas was punished by carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I will be punished by carrying the weight of my guilt. An arm slides around my waist and I turn to Iseul. There’s color to his cheeks now, the hints of fairy wine on his breath, and he presses his mouth to the corner of mine. “Are you well, my love?” His voice is full of warmth and affection. I suddenly feel very sick. My hands push my bowl away. “Fine,” I reply. I stiffen as Iseul presses closer. He’s being as affectionate as always, yet I feel wrong. My skin burns with the touch of another and I worry he’ll feel it. They say elves have a keen sense of instinct, and I hope this is not the case. “If you are tired, we can go rest.”Iseul peers into my face. His warm eyes are bursting with love and affection. I have to swallow down my bile again. Where once his gaze filled me with warmth, it now makes the guilt on my shoulders feel heavier. “That sounds nice,” I reply. I stand from my seat as if on autopilot and take his hand. He dismisses us from the crowd. Reiner waves us away and Lady Falke wishes us a goodnight. Iseul leads us into our shared bedroom. The bed has been made for us and a warm fireplace crackles in the quiet room. “This is nice,” I remark. My fingers trace the duvet idly and I pretend to be my usual self. Iseul wanders towards me and his arms wrap around my waist. Suggestion lines the edges of his face and his mouth quirks up into something intimate. I can almost feel his intentions through the thin layers of our clothes. “You feel tense,” he remarks and his hands go for my shoulders, “Do you want a massage?”My mouth presses tight. I move away from his embrace no longer feeling worthy of it. “No,” my refusal is light and I go about removing my armor. Iseul blinks in surprise but recovers. The smile is back on his face in an instant and he assists me with a particular strap on my side that gives me trouble. His deft fingers undo the many buckles on the metal and he sets it aside reverently. When I’m in my clothing, his fingers go for the hem of my shirt. I feel another wave of desire go through him and his gaze darkens just a bit. I can sense what he wants before he has a chance to back me into the bed. I freeze as his hands come around me once more and he kisses me. He tastes foreign. A clout has fallen over him and I cannot remember a time where my mouth was not tainted with someone else’s taste. A part of me, a very large part of me, no longer feels worthy of being with him. I have been marred by sin and earthly desire and I don’t have a right to take this. Iseul is something incredible that I no longer deserve. Perhaps that should be my atonement. Perhaps I should deny myself that which I love most. As his hands come to rest on my hair, I have a flashback to this morning. Jinhai’s own hands had knotted in my hair as harsh and blasphemous sounds had fallen out of his mouth. I jolt at the memory and give a push to Iseul. It is light but enough to stop him. Unlike the snake I had given myself to in the morning, Iseul is willing to respect me. Green eyes widen in surprise and his lips part. “Hannah?” Iseul frowns in surprise and worry. I turn away from him and wrap my arms around myself like a barrier. My voice comes out strained and I have to bite back the emotions threatening to boil out. “I’m tired tonight. Sorry,” I reply. I don’t wait for a response. Instead, I curl into the blankets on the bed and give him my back. The room is quiet as Iseul gathers his thoughts. I hold my breath and wait for the line of questioning. His worry is apparent even from my place. I have been odd all day, have pushed him off, and have gone to sleep fully clothed. He must be confused and hurt. The bed dips with Iseul’s weight and he settles in next to me. I feel his breath on the back of my neck-And it is like I can feel Jinhai’s breath at the back of my neck too. I can almost feel his hands holding me in place as he moved from behind me. I snap myself out of the memory with a painful bite to my tongue. My eyes squeeze shut with regret and guilt and lust. Iseul’s hand comes to rest over my waist and he brushes a kiss to my hair. He settles in next to me as he does every night and I feel the soft beat of his heart at my back. “Goodnight, Hannah.”He seemingly refuses to question me, some part of him willing to respect my privacy, and I hold my breath until it hurts my lungs. Once his breath begins to even out with sleep, I let it go slowly. It is bad enough to have betrayed the one person I love more than life, but it is another thing entirely to not regret it. For some terrible, dark, and twisted reason, I regret the betrayal more than the act of betrayal itself.

The sun’s rays cast warm light across Iseul’s face. His features are relaxed in sleep and the soft light steaming in through the window illuminates his white hair and makes it seem like a halo. My fingers twist through the strands idly and I take in every feature of his face. He looks peaceful now, rested in sleep, and I memorize everything my eyes can see. As the morning drags on, my guilt begins to subside. I feel it like a dull ache more than the nauseating throb it was yesterday. I do not know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. My lips press into a thin line and I move my arms. My body is sore from more than just the battle. The ache reminds me of the terrible thing that I have done-And how much I enjoyed it. In the end, I had enjoyed it. Jinhai was right. I could pretend to lie until I was blue in the face, but I had enjoyed it. There was a thrill to doing something terrible, a high from being with someone forbidden, and I could already feel a part of me wanting more. Like an addict, I craved more. My body was a traitor that already ached for more. It was almost like a thirst I had to quench. Guilt tugged me one way, but lust yanked me another. I lean down and brush my lips across Iseul’s cheek. A kiss of Judas. My fingers stroke at his cheek where my mouth had stained him. I feel tainted, blasphemous somehow, yet dark desire is already enveloping me. It is a cruel embrace, and it is one I cannot resist. Perhaps Jinhai was right. Perhaps I would go back to him. After all, if I had done so once, I could do it again. The thing about betrayal is that it is so much easier the second time around. Upon doing it once, doing it again isn’t as bad. The guilt is ever present but it becomes an afterthought. My eyes close and I press myself closer to Iseul. His heart sounds in my ears and his arms wrap tighter around me in sleep. “I love you,” I whisper. It is not a lie. I do love him, more than anything in the world, but Jinhai was right. Iseul has my heart, but he has the rest of me. I have gifted myself to him, and despite my best instinct, I know I will do it again.

The second crow finds me days later. Like the first, it perches on a windowsill and holds its leg out with a letter. I glance around the inn to make sure that no one has seen it before accepting its message. Jinhai’s scrawl is messy, yet I can recognize it. ”The woods at midday. Do not make me wait.”I scowl and tuck the letter into my pants. It is tempting to throw it into the burning fireplace, but I know I will answer it anyway. I move my hand to scare the crow away and make my way back to my friends. Altea is regaling us with a story of something, magic sparks shining at her fingertips as she uses them to heighten her story, and she hardly notices me as I slip behind Iseul. I press a kiss to the side of his mouth and bend down to whisper in his ear. “I’m going to train in the woods. Is that alright?”Iseul glances at me and raises his drink to his lips. “Do you want me to accompany you?”“No,” I reply, “Just wait for me. I’ll only be an hour or two.”Iseul seems confused for a second before he nods. He gives me a kiss and tells me to be careful. I swallow down my conscience and wave goodbye at him.

Like before, Jinhai is awaiting me at the same clearing. He grins when he sees me, a repulsive sight, and kicks off his tree. “I see my crow found you,” he scans me from head to toe. I hate the lust that burns in his gaze, but, more specifically, I hate that I echo it. “What do you want?” I snap it out at him and toss the crumpled note at his feet. He pays it no mind and advances on me. He leans up so that I am only a breath away. One hand comes to rest on a tree behind me, pinning me in place. “You know why I called you here,” his gaze is dark. I do know why, and damn me I’ve stopped caring. Betrayal is so much easier the second time. I shiver and bite my tongue to keep from saying anything else. My body is already quaking like an earthquake. I am like an addict an inch away from her fix. “You enjoyed it the first time, so why not have it a second?” Jinhai murmurs. I grind my teeth together. I am already locked out of Heaven, so why not take the apple? If I am damned, let me at least enjoy my fall from grace. “He can never know about this,” I squeeze my eyes shut. My whisper is to myself more than to him. He hears it anyway. A harsh laugh sounds at the back of his throat. It echoes in the clearing and resounds in my head. One finger curls under my chin to tilt my head up while his other hand digs into my back pressing me close. “Who would tell him? I do not care enough,” Jinhai remarks. “I care.”My reply is feeble, pained, and the guilt hurts me. I could step back now, end things before they’ve begun, yet I can’t bring myself to do so. A terrible part of me craves Jinhai like cocaine, and I can’t bring myself to say no. My body hums with desire and my morales are already bleeding out of me. I open my mouth and a quiet breath leaves it as Jinhai moves his head to the side of my neck. He finds my pulse and bites down harshly on it. It so painful I have to wince and dig my nails into his arm. My mouth twists into revulsion and pleasure all at once. “If you cared enough, you wouldn’t be here.”I wince, bury his words before they can bury me, and move my head. My mouth crushes against his and I tug at his clothing to press him closer. A pleased sound leaves his throat. Like a hunter, he has already caught his prey. And like Eve, I have already locked myself out of Eden.

“A mosquito?” Iseul’s fingers trace the red blotch on my neck. I glance at my reflection in the mirror and bite the inside of my cheek. My hand cups the mark and I angle my hair to hide it from view. “Yeah, they’re bad out there.”I inch towards Iseul as he settles on the bed. He takes me in his arms and presses his head into my shoulder. I worry he will smell something on me, the remnants of his scent on my skin, but he just smiles. A soft kiss is pressed to my shoulder and he brushes his hands on my sides. “You should train at the inn with us then. August has some training dummies you can practice with,” Iseul murmurs. I shake my head and accept another kiss on my cheek. “I like the woods better.”A shrug and another kiss. “Do you want me to train with you? You once asked me to teach you archery.”“No, I want to practice by myself.”Iseul frowns for a second, almost hurt by the dismissal, and I distract him with another kiss. My hands push him down on the bed and I straddle him. His line of questioning is forgotten then and desire ignites in his eyes. I ignore the jolt of shame as I kiss down his neck. There was a time where I didn’t use sex as a weapon, but that time has fallen away like the last of my dignity. I kiss his jaw lightly and a low growl leaves his throat. “Are you sure you want this?” His finger strokes my cheek. I know I’ve confused him last night by rejecting him. I nod my head. “Positive. I do want this.”

I do want this.The realization comes at the same time I do. My vision goes white and I shove Jinhai off me. I suddenly feel very cold all over. “It’s getting late,” I protest. The cold air is frigid against my skin. Jinhai rolls his eyes. His mouth twists into something cold and he moves away. There’s jagged scratches on his back and I can feel his skin under my nails. “Your Prince will miss you,” his voice is sarcastic, taunting. I slip on my clothing and twist my fingers through my hair to fix it. My skin smells of him, my mouth tastes of him, and I know I’ll have to bathe before going to see Iseul. It’s been weeks now and I’m getting better at hiding. I grind my teeth together and watch as the moonlight illuminates a bruise in the shape of a handprint against my waist. Iseul will no doubt see it which means that I will have to explain it away somehow. “We should stop this,” I hiss. Another wave of self loathing crashes against me. I dig my nails into my palm. Jinhai grunts in amusement and watches me. The remnants of lust are on his gaze and he smirks. “You would not last the week.”I ignore him and turn away. My fingers fix my clothing, soothing out the wrinkles and dusting off the soil. I frown to myself. “I could.”I can’t.He’s like a drug. When I don’t have him, I want him. The things Jinhai does to my body are entirely sinful and damning, but I love them. I crave him and think of him often. “We both know that is a lie,” Jinhai rebuffs, “The night is growing darker, little bird. Your Prince will no doubt be missing his ‘loyal’ lover.”I roll my eyes at him, call him an obscenity under my breath, and slip away from him. Betrayal is so much easier the hundredth time.

My breath comes out in shallow pants and I press myself closer. My pleasure peaks with a final roll of his hips and my head lolls back. I ride out my high as Iseul begins to shiver. My hands knot in his hair as he moves forward. I can feel him growing closer by the second. My body is aflame with desire. “Ji-Iseul,” I gasp out. I manage to correct myself at the last second and my stomach feels cold. I worry he will know of the horrible mistake I was about to make, but Iseul is lost to me. My name leaves his lips in a final groan and he pulls out of me. He settles next to me and takes a moment to catch his breath. I grind my teeth together and squeeze my eyes shut. That was close. Too close. I shiver and draw myself inwards. My arms wrap around myself and I bury my head into the pillows. How long ago did I start imagining Iseul as someone else?

“How long ago can you keep this up? The running around, the secrecy, the guilt?” Jinhai’s voice is cold. I press my lips together and dig my nails into my palms. “Shut up.”“It is marvelously entertaining, little bird. You carry such a heavy cloud of guilt around everywhere you go. Tell me, has your Prince begun to suspect?” He rests his head on his hand and peers at me. His dark eyes are glinting with malicious amusement. I’m a game to him, an entertainment. Asides from the lust I satisfy, I also quench his boredom. Seeing me run around trying to hide my sins is as satisfying to him as my body. I turn away from him and run my hands through my hair. “He doesn’t suspect me.”

He suspects me.Iseul’s features twist in a frown as August disarms me. My sword goes skidding from my grasp and lands at Saerys’ feet. Reiner claps his hands. “Nice try, Hannah, but you need to get more adjusted to your sword.”I let myself be hauled to my feet by August. My hands shake the dirt from my clothes and I wander back to Iseul as August gets ready to spar with Altea. It shouldn’t have been that easy to disarm me, not if I’ve been practicing by myself for months. “August is good,” I flex my arm at Iseul and plaster a fake smile on my face. “Do not be upset with me, my love, but I have not seen much of an improvement from these past few months. Have you been training hard?” Iseul tilts his head. There’s heavy sparks of doubt on his eyes. Fear gnaws at my stomach and I shrug. “I have been, but August is just that good.”He doesn’t believe me. Suspicion has taken hold of Iseul and his mind is already whirring with thoughts. I can see him beginning to doubt me. There’s a pain in his eyes. He doesn’t want to not believe me, but he can’t deny what his own instincts are telling him. He knows, a part of him knows, that things aren’t adding up. I shudder. “Perhaps I should train with you?” Iseul suggests. “No,” the word leaves my lips harshly. He recoils slightly and I clench my hands around my sword. “I like individual training.”Iseul’s lips thin again. There’s a heavy hurt in his gaze and a desperation there too. His hand reaches for mine and he holds it tightly. He wants to believe me so badly. He aches for any excuse I can give him. He suspects me but he is willing to accept a lie from me if only I will give one to him. I bite my lip. “I’ll train harder from now on.”My mouth offers him a quick peck. He returns it but the suspicion won’t leave his eyes. “Alright. I trust you, Hannah.”There’s a hidden depth to his words that nearly breaks me then and there. I return his second kiss and try to bury the guilt. I trust you, Hannah, but please don’t take advantage of that trust.

I am certain I will break things off with Jinhai. I make the decision in my mind the next night-Then promptly forget it once Jinhai begins to move. My body is lost to ecstasy and thoughts fall away. It is a full hour before I can begin to gather myself. Once I do, I regain my breath and run a hand through my hair. My heart is still racing and my skin is sensitive from my release. I slip my shirt on again and bite my nail. “I hate this,” I squeeze my eyes shut. “That is not what your screams say, little bird,” Jinhai snorts. He peers at me with a cruel grin. He likes to see me eaten by guilt, gets off on it, and I scowl. “I love him.”“I do not care. He can have your heart, I just want-““My body, I know.” I shake my head and grind my teeth together. Guilt gnaws at me and tonight feels wrong somehow. The atmosphere suffocates me and I wonder how I’ve been doing this for so long without going insane. Jinhai moves closer and gives a harsh tug on my hair. When I gasp, he swallows the noise and bites down on my lip. My hand automatically goes for his own hair where I knot my fingers in the strands. There’s a brief fight for dominance which I lose. He stakes his claim on me and withdraws once my lips are swollen. His finger goes to my neck where his hands have left a bruise. “Admit it. You enjoy me. I am better in bed than your Prince.”I shiver with desire. His voice is low and gruff and I feel excitement buzzing under my skin. “I love Iseul,” I reply. “And I do not love you, so it hardly matters. I just care about what you feel physically. You enjoy being with me, no?” Jinhai moves my hand down to the front of his pants. There’s a hardness there that makes me shiver with want. I close my eyes. “Jinhai…” I hiss his name in a warning. He ignores it and presses closer. “Admit it.”Now I’m the one with the warning. He wants to hear me say it out loud. Damn me, I shiver. I hesitate before keeping my eyes closed. My hand begins to move on him and he grunts a noise of pleasure. “What do you want me to say?” I whisper it against his mouth. “The truth.”With my eyes still closed, I nod. “You are better than him. I do want you,” I repeat it obediently. Now, there’s no twist of guilt. Perhaps I have fallen as low as I can then. “Happy?”Jinhai lets out a cruel laugh. He moves his face away from mine and raises his voice. His mouth is in a cruel smirk and his eyes glint with malice. “Oh I am very happy although I can’t say the same for our guest.”My blood runs cold and my heart nearly stops. Guest?I spin around in time to see Iseul. His mouth is wide with shock, eyes dark with pain, and he backs away. Cold fear and guilt wash over me. I move away from Jinhai and stand suddenly. My own body feels heavy. Iseul’s heartache is apparent in his next words. His voice is hardly above a whisper and there’s agony in his tone. “Hannah?”