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thedistantdusk · 4 years

Note

Can you write anything with the Harry/Ron bromance? Thank you, you are helping me survive quarantine!

Thanks to @floreatcastellumposts for all her help! For once, this is only mildly inappropriate! ;)

On AO3.

Rain patters on the window of the attic, sounding angrier by the minute. For once, the exterior of the house is louder. This is quite a feat for the Burrow ever, but on an afternoon in June, it’s almost unheard of.

Harry lets out a deep breath, running his hand across his eyes. Over the past month, he’s adapted to the silence. He’s started to crave it, to consider it reassurance that everything’s on the mend. There aren’t explosions or calls for help or sobs emerging through the rubble and darkness. There’s simply quiet. Solitude. Even—

“HEY!” The door bursts open, slamming against the wall, as Ron pierces through the aforementioned solitude.

Harry just sighs and gets his glasses from the bedside table. No hope of an afternoon nap, it seems.

“Sorry, were you sleeping?” Ron deadpans, not sounding the least bit apologetic.

Harry rolls his eyes; since he and Ginny got back together, Ron and George have greatly enjoyed taking the mickey anywhere they can find it. Just yesterday, George had interrupted a perfectly good garden snog with a series of nonsensical, thinly-veiled questions (“Have you dipped your nib in ink, Harry? How was it? Please, I’m desperately curious for feedback on all nib-dipping experiences; this could be vital information for restocking a line of magical quills at the shop!”)

Now, though, the girls are off shopping; the Burrow is empty, save for the two of them. To Harry, this seems like much of the same.

“Interrupting a kip is the least of your worries, mate,” he mutters darkly, sitting up in bed. He hopes the meaning isn’t lost there. If Ron’s going to be a cock-block, he’s going to hear about it.

Ron doesn’t respond, though. Which is odd. So Harry slides on his glasses and takes in his appearance. Ron’s looming frame stands near the door, his freckles and red hair more distinctive than usual. It could be the lighting, Harry thinks; after all, it is quite gray and dim up here. Ah but no... that wouldn’t explain why he’s now awkwardly shifting in place, rubbing his palms against his jeans.

Then, Ron clears his throat — and suddenly, his face turns red instead of white. “Erm. Listen,” he starts uneasily, avoiding Harry’s eyes. “I’ve erm... I’ve got something to discuss!”

He ends with a sort of jubilant bounce on the balls of his feet, wearing a grin that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

Harry peers back warily. If Ginny were here, she’d suss this weirdness out straight away. She’d know, just from his posturing, what Ron’s getting at. A moment later, he opens his mouth to speak again — but just as quickly, he seems to decide something or other is a bad idea, because he waves his hand and strides toward his bed with an anxious huff. As if that explains anything.

“Right,” Ron says, settling down across from Harry. “Right.”

“Right,” Harry echoes, arching an eyebrow. “You… feeling all right?”

“Mm.” Ron hunches over, his elbows on his knees, and stares at the floor.

As the seconds pass, Harry peers at Ron with a growing sense of dread. It’s rare he’s this quiet around him — and Harry doesn’t like it. It’s too reminiscent of darkness, of the times they’ve been at each other’s throats. Has Harry done anything to make him angry this time? He doesn’t think so. Ron’s been supportive, even, of his renewed relationship with Ginny. Apart from giving him shit for it.

This silence isn’t doing his head any favors, though. So Harry decides to break it.

“Listen,” Harry says uneasily. “I don’t want to pry, but—”

“—So you know Hermione and I are properly together, yeah?” Ron blurts, his words stringing together so fast they sound like a single syllable.

Harry clears his throat and tries to respond as delicately as he can. “Mate, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I think most of the castle knows you’re properly together.”

But Ron’s not on the same page. “No,” he says over a humorless chuckle, his eyes still locked on the floor. “That’s erm. That’s not what I’m getting at.”

Then what…?

Oh.

Oh no.

Harry’s stomach clenches with fear, head filling with memories that seem far more distant than a year old. He remembers Lupin’s drawn, tired eyes when he approached them in Grimmauld Place. He remembers the unflinching expression of horror and shock, the way he distanced himself from Tonks’ baby. He remembers the resigned tone in his voice, like a man marching to his own execution.

Then, of course, Harry remembers tiny little Teddy. The baby who’d charged in and changed everything. Tiny little Teddy, who is undeniably adorable… but also fuck-loads of work.

Shit. Harry desperately blinks up at Ron, pleading with the universe that he’s wrong, that he’s made a mistake in this leap of logic. But there’s nothing reassuring about what he finds. Ron’s still staring at the floor, his eyes wide and unseeing, his back hunched.

This couldn’t be... no.

Hermione’s smarter than that, isn’t she? Hell, Ron — with his six siblings — must also be smarter than that! They’d never let... something… happen.

Right?

But even as Harry tries to deny it, he knows there’s a chance — mostly because Hermione’s a right moron when her feelings get involved. Fuck. Harry’s stomach churns as the memories shift. He sees birds pecking at Ron’s hands in that abandoned classroom. He sees Hermione’s face when Ron returned to the tent last year, her eyes flaring with something unbridled and terrifying.

Best to get it over with, though. Like ripping off a plaster. If he’s going to be an uncle (the word lands like a sour rock in his stomach), he reckons he’d rather know as soon as possible.

With that, Harry clears his throat. “Erm. Ron, I’m not going to push you, but—”

“—Hermione wants to know if you want to arrange something where Ginny comes here at night and I go down there and we sleep there ok.”

Somehow, this string of words comes out even more quickly than the first, leaving Ron in a red-faced, mortified silence; Harry only understands any of it at all because he knows Ron so well, but he gives both of them time to process the exacting wording of the declaration.

After a few seconds, though, Harry’s still not sure what to make of it — and not because he didn’t understand the literal words. No… the real fear is that he’s ignored what Ron actually said and supplanted what he wanted to hear.

So Harry draws a deep breath, guarding his heart as he does. “Ok ok ok,” he says, raising his hand. “I… I need to make sure I’ve understood you correctly. You’ve only come in here to tell me that Hermione’s cooked up a shagging arrangement. Is… is that right?”

There’s another pause.

For his part, Ron only looks impressed. “Yeah mate,” he says fairly. “Sums it up.”

Oh for the love of —

Harry releases a half-laugh, half-sigh as he collapses back on the bed. Shagging! That’s all Ron was after! For fuck’s sake! Harry’s chest feels lighter, his head happier, his future brighter.

“You… seem surprised, though ” Ron notes, peering over. “What did you think—?”

Harry laughs again, cutting him off. “I thought you’d got her pregnant! I was terrified for you! Can you even imagine—”

“Nooo!” Ron says sharply. He shudders, the color draining from his face. “No,” he repeats, raising his eyebrows. “No, I cannot, so please don’t even joke about—”

“Oi, who’s joking?” Harry counters. “You’re the two who ran off to Australia and spent nights in hotels! Your mum was scandalized, by the way. It was brilliant.”

He ends with a grin, but it seems that the word Australia was a bit of a trigger; Ron’s face is now blank and happy, his mouth spread into a gormless smile as he stares at the wall above Harry’s head.

Ugh. Harry looks away. He’s glad he hasn’t volunteered his (rather unfortunate) knowledge that those two shagged before they even left the castle. Harry still can’t decide if Ginny’s ability to wheedle information out of people is a blessing or a curse, but he reckons it’s best to push the subject of Ron and Hermione’s sex life from his mind.

As if on cue, Ron sighs from his bed. Harry’s pleased to find he’s not making that weird Hermione face anymore, but he doesn’t look entirely… settled either. His expression is pensive, his arms crossed over his chest, and it takes a few more seconds for Harry to understand why — but when he does, it’s like a lightbulb goes off in his brain.

Oh.

Harry releases a deep breath of his own. Ron hasn’t said a word, but he’s certain they’re both filled with this sort of… shuddering awareness of the situation at hand. Because this is the first time they’ve broached this, isn’t it? The fact that they’re intimate now, with each other’s sisters. Harry can’t decide if that’s more comforting or repulsive — but more than anything else, he reckons it’s just... different. Nothing more, nothing less.

After all, it wasn’t long ago Harry was terrified they’d get together and leave him. But when they got together — right in front of him — Harry hadn’t been jealous or scornful; he’d been happy for them. He reckons he would’ve been chuffed, even, had they not been in the middle of a battle, but that hadn’t stopped them for long.

Then again, it also wasn’t long ago that Ron yelled at Ginny for snogging Dean. A year ago, Ron had yelled at him for snogging Ginny — mostly because he’d been concerned about his sister’s feelings. Harry hadn’t blamed him for that, not really, but he nonetheless reckons it should’ve foreshadowed Ron’s cock-block tendencies.

Another vacant smile crosses Harry’s lips. They’ve all changed, haven’t they? War changed them, to the core. Age changed them, to the core….

“Erm. But please, don’t give me details,” Ron blurts, apropos of nothing. He shivers again despite the warm afternoon. “I think I’d rather remove my fingernails with a blunt needle than hear about how much you love shagging my sister, thanks.”

Harry raises a brow. Technically speaking, Ron’s wrong in his conclusion. They haven’t… done that. Not properly, even if they’d hedged around it more times than he can count. They’ve done basically everything but shag, actually, but Harry reckons that would be more mortifying to admit than just letting it go.

Not that they aren’t ready; Harry knows they’re both ready. But through either sheer practicality (his reasoning) or misguided chivalry (Ginny’s), Harry couldn’t bear to live with himself if he took her virginity in their usual haunts of the garden or Mr Weasley’s shed.

Now, though, they’ve got… options. That Ron — of all people — has delivered on a silver platter.

Harry feels his pulse quicken at the thought as his jeans start to tighten. Aaand lovely, this is now thoroughly embarrassing. He needs a distraction, now.

So Harry loudly clears his throat and picks up the threads of their conversation. “Yeah, and I’ll trust you to do the same when it comes to Hermione. I’ve no desire to hear about—”

Ron interrupts with a wave of his hand, but when he speaks again, he’s not taking the mickey like before. “Noted,” he says firmly. “Just erm... I guess I also wanted to make sure...” He trails off, biting his lip, but seems to think better of whatever he’d started. “Nevermind, it’s stupid. Do you want to play chess?”

Harry’s not letting him off the hook that easily. “Whatever it is, mate, I’m sure it’s not the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

Ron laughs. “Yeah, and that was kind of my point, actually.” He rubs his hand on the back of his neck. When he looks at Harry again, there’s a telltale spark of reassurance shining behind his eyes. “You… erm. You know we’re still us, yeah?”

Oh.

Harry hadn’t realized he’d been that… transparent. He gnaws at the inside of his cheek. They’re together now — all four of them, which is the best possible situation. But he can’t deny there’s a lingering fear that romantic relationships, real ones, will change them forever. That he’ll lose the first friend he ever had. That they’ll finally have found the one thing they can’t talk about, even as the topic voraciously consumes both of their thoughts.

Has any of that happened, though? asks a voice in the back of his head. It sounds suspiciously like Ginny.

Harry’s lips curl into another smile as the answer comes to him.

No. No, it hasn’t.

Because at the end of the day, they’re still Harry and Ron. They’re the two prats from Gryffindor who became best friends on the Hogwarts Express and got detentions together and shared a mutual loathing of Malfoy, all as their voices cracked. They’re still Harry and Ron, who fought bitterly and pretended to hate each other and nearly vomited on each other and discussed wanking techniques.

No matter what, they’ll always be Harry and Ron. Their relationship survived Voldemort. How could Harry have thought it wouldn’t survive sex?

“Yeah, we are,” he agrees. “Just, you know...” He makes a vague hand gesture. “Taller. Wiser.”

Ron smirks, rising to stand. “Actually, I was gonna go with shagging each other’s sisters — but if you’d like to pretend you’re wiser...”

Harry chokes out a laugh. “I reckon Hermione’s still the wisest of us all, seeing how she arranged this. What time were you thinking, by the way?”

“Eleven minutes past ten,” Ron says promptly. “We reckon it’s less suspicious if it’s a bit off the hour.”

“Eleven minutes is highly specific, mate.” Harry raises his eyebrows. “Please tell me that number wasn’t in your head because of some… personal record. Or something.” He makes a face and moves to stand, too.

Ron just jerks his chin towards the door. “Do you want to play wizard’s chess? And I’m not going to dignify that with a response, by the way — but just know, you’re definitely, definitely incorrect.” His lips twitch. “As well as a total wanker.”

Ha! He’s left himself wide open!

Harry laughs and strides into the hallway, too. “Only when I think about—”

“UGH!” Ron groans dramatically as they walk downstairs, but Harry can hear the grin in his voice. “I thought we agreed never to discuss that!”

Harry spreads his palms in surrender, but doesn’t push it; Ron’s been more than understanding today, so he reckons he’ll let it slide — at least until the next time he tries to give him shit.

Then they march into the living room wearing stupid, contended grins, just as they’ve done a thousand times, for one reason or another. Then they play wizard’s chess, just as they’ve done a thousand times. Then Ron kicks Harry’s arse, just as he’s done a thousand times.

Ron pumps his fist in triumph and lets out a jubilant yelp as he resets the board — and although Harry would never admit it aloud, he’s nonetheless reached a comfortable, contented conclusion.

He’s fine with losing at wizard’s chess for the rest of his life… as long as he loses to him.

#harry potter fanfiction #harry/ginny #Harry/Ron brotp #Harry/Ron Bromance #romione

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darkcherrymystery · 7 years

Text

Old Koyomi Reverse translations

(Very old.)

These 4 chapters are some of the first translation I ever attempted, but I made them private over at mirroredtranslations because I have no confidence in their quality (and have no plans to rework them). Still, I suppose they should have a small place here to rot away more publicly--at least, until someone comes along and takes up the task of translating Koyomi Reverse.

Here are chapters 13, 26, 27, and 30.

Chapter 13

Of course, I didn't know.

The knowledge that another name for 'snake' was 'kaka' was not needed for the entrance exam--I know it seems like I don't know when to give up if I say this, but it was just more evidence that the affair I was experiencing wasn't a dream.

If I were able to describe a sea snake with Shinobu Oshino's way of laughing, "Ka ka!", then perhaps that would be the root of my awareness of it; I might think that was related to the dream, but as might be expected, that kind of foreshadowing from my subconscious was just too forceful--anyway, the appearance of this "mirror specialist", whether it was a god, or a junior high school girl, was not something I'd wished for.

"Are you feeling peckish? Araragi-kun. If I heard you correctly, you haven't eaten anything since this morning. Let's talk as we eat. Here, together, with Kuchinawa-san."

Now that you mention it, the only thing I'd eaten all day was the tea that Oikura made for me--my stomach felt full just from seeing her new appearance, so I didn't really notice; but since my vampire attributes were disappearing now, if I didn't intake proper nutrition, I'd fall over soon.

Thus, for the first time, I was invited inside the shrine at North White Snake Shrine, and saw the meal Hachikuji-onee-san had prepared in front of me.

"...So these aren't the offerings, are they?"

"Mm. These are offerings."

"..."

There shouldn't be anyone other than me who worships at this shrine, so I wonder if Kuchinawa-san also has offerings... or rather, was he happy to eat offerings?

While I was hesitating, without saying 'Itadakimasu', Hachikuji-onee-san and Kuchinawa-san had started eating, so I couldn't help but partake of the meal lest I disturb the harmony of the situation.

I mean, it's not something I'll say again, but this was quite a situation--me, sitting in a circle with two gods, eating a meal.

What kind of person am I.

In the world I'd lived in until this morning, Nadeko Sengoku had stopped being a god, and Mayoi Hachikuji had become a god--in other words, the two of their reigns hadn't overlapped, but over here they were muddled together, and it didn't seem to make sense.

"Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp." "Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp."

It seemed both of the gods had received the same bottle of sake, and were drinking it straight from the bottle--setting aside the 21-year-old Hachikuji-onee-san, the image of Kuchinawa-san doing it despite looking like a junior high school girl left quite an impression.

"Koyomi-onii-chan--you think mirrors reflect left and right reversed, do you?"

The main point, Kuchinawa-san had suddenly gotten to--or rather, Kuchinawa-san had gotten straight to the point.

He spoke so abruptly that I fumbled my description... although she wasn't stuttering anymore, to have fumbled in front of Mayoi Hachikuji was embarrassing.

"U, um, what? Could you say that again?"

"Do you think that mirrors reflect left and right reversed?--is what I asked. Got it?"

He spoke belligerently, like we were doing a stressful interview--that didn't mean I didn't understand the substance of the question, but it was hard to infer its meaning.

Mirrors reflect left and right reversed--that's what I thought. Isn't that common knowledge even a grade schooler would know?

If the question were 'Why do you think mirrors reflect left and right reversed?', I'd be willing to answer wherever there was philosophical meaning implied; but that question was far from philosophical, it was like a Zen dialogue--was he intending to ask something like, 'What if our own lefts and rights are reversed, and what's reflected in the mirror is reality?'

No, wait.

Grade schoolers wouldn't know this, but scholarship students like Hitagi and Oikura should;(1) as a property of "mirrors", strictly speaking, it wasn't 'left and right' but rather 'front and back' that was reversed..., was that it? But, that's just an issue with how you say it; the fact that what you see--the 'reverse' of what you see--should be the same.

"I've heard that with three-sided mirrors and stuff, if you look at the seams between the mirrors when they make a right angle, left and right become correct, but... Is that what you want me to say?"

Or, was there a mirror that correctly reflected left and right even on a level surface, by cleverly utilizing the process of reflection... I don't know about the Rainy Devil in this world, but when I cleaned Kanbaru's room, I remember finding those kinds of promotional goods among all the novel and rare things she liked to keep.

"No, no--sha sha. That's not it; I said, when you glance into a mirror, do you think that left and right are reversed?"

"That is... what I think. If I raise my right hand, the mirror image raises its left hand; if I raise my left foot, the mirror image raises its right foot, right?"

"Really. Koyomi-onii-chan balances in the shape of a Y in front of his mirror? Weird, aren't you."

"It's just an example. I don't do that kind of thing."

Karen's the one who does that.

She probably still does it in this world.

"Anyway, the mirror image moves opposite to my left and right."

"You really think that?"

He's relentless.

Kuchinawa-san was really pressing me for an answer--I did have an impression of snakes as vindictive, but I felt like that image was being replicated in real life here.

"Don't you just think that because everyone says so?"

"Th-that's absurd. Do I look like a man tied down by common sense?"

However, the idea that mirrors reflect left and right reversed--or rather, front and back reversed--was certainly common sense; in other words, a preconceived notion.

For instance, when explaining the physical body known as a mirror, that's the way I would explain it after all--although I don't remember it, when someone explained mirrors to me, they probably explained it in the same way too.

So I understood.

'Ah, this is.'

'This is a metal board that reflects reality, but with left and right reversed.'

"...Kuchinawa-san, you're saying that's not actually the case? What do you think, Hachikuji-onee-san?"

"I'll mention my view at the end. For now, please continue with that line of conversation."

An onee-san speaking full of dignity.

Leader-like.

However, since I knew what she was like when she was 10, it was hard to decide whether she was speaking seriously or just joking around, or even disguising the fact that she didn't actually have a view.

"Did you know about cognition of mirroring? It's like, if an animal--for example, a snake, is shown itself in a mirror, whether or not it knows it's looking at itself. But since that partner in the mirror is reflected with its lefts and rights reversed, or in other words, when it pairs up with its partner in the mirror, do you think that it realizes it's looking at its 'own reflection'? If it makes it move the same direction, and it moves a different way, it thinks it's looking at a different guy--probably. Sha sha."

"...No, but, since the real left and right move in opposite directions..."

"In snakes' case, at any rate, since they don't have arms or legs, they can't understand your example, Koyomi-onii-chan. It's not like mirrors illuminate anything themselves in the first place; they reflect any light that enters, and in "being reflected", we judge the side we see as we wish. I think that's by no means a function of mirrors themselves."

"...Then, Kuchinawa-san."

Like I'm being toyed with--or rather, I started to feel like I'm being made fun of; forgetting that I was speaking with a god, I ended up inquiring in a bit of an emphatic tone.

"If it's not that mirrors reflect left and right reversed, then just what do they reflect?"

"Reality."

Kuchinawa-san said.

"...No, it's like you said before--'Which left and right is correct?'--isn't it, Koyomi-onii-chan? I'm talking about how mirrors came to be treated in ancient times--sacred spiritual tools."

"Uh... such and such about mirrors and stuff, I heard you."

"Cinderella's mother was someone who saw it."

Despite Hachikuji-onee-san's know-it-all face, she was mistaking Cinderella for Snow White--but, well, it was easy to understand as an example.

Now, this ended up being an inelegant analysis of the workings of a mirror, but since mirrors had once been a considerably mysterious "ghost image", of course we wanted to endow it with meaning--so, there must be a number of oddities associated with mirrors.

They reflect reality, hm...

"Because of that reflection of reality, Medusa ended up turned to stone--well, if I saw a guy with snakes for hair, I'd be surprised at that too. Sha sha!"

Kuchinawa-san laughing like that, it might be a snake joke of some kind, however, as I knew that snake-god Sengoku had taken that form, I couldn't laugh at all... in this world, that Sengoku didn't do that, right?

"They reflect reality--but, those words themselves imply a lot, Kuchinawa-san. Why did you say that? What kind of lesson should I take from that?"

'Lesson', it's like something that con man would say; but, at present, the impression I had was nothing more than 'It's good to reflect upon history.'

If things went badly, and the truth was really in the opposite direction, I wouldn't want to pick a fight--I had paid Hachikuji-onee-san 4 yen in her box, but her partner Kuchinawa-san had come here free of charge to make a friendly appearance, so I couldn't behave in such a rude way.

...Thinking about it now, to pay Hachikuji-onee-san only 4 yen as alms, it was almost the same amount of money as not paying her anything.

I suddenly felt really apologetic--although I felt it in my heart, I am sorry for getting involved so rudely.

"Aa--, I still don't know. Koyomi-onii-chan. From your view, both me and this world look reversed; I'm just saying it's not 'reversed' in the least--it's not about which left and right is correct, it's that both lefts and rights are correct."

"Eh...?"

Both of them are--correct?

That's reality?

"From your view, this world is preposterous and makes no sense, but your world is femalely lewd in the same way."

"Femalely lewd..."

Things had gotten a bit serious, but, no, I would not describe my world as femalely lewd.

"That was a mistake. I meant, 'equally construed'."(2)

"That kind of mistake is possible, is it... Don't confused 'construed' and 'lewd' when you talk. Those words come from opposite categories, don't they?"

"Not 'opposite'--sha sha."

Kuchinawa-san repeated it as if my foolish retort had some kind of deep meaning--huh?

"No, well, let's talk about all the people you know in this world. Your sisters, your friends, your kouhai, your childhood friend--and then, myself and Mayoi-onee-san; it's not like we've had our rights and lefts reversed at all. Somehow, you've come to understand that already, right?"

"..."

"Right, it's not that we've been reversed--we are indisputably ourselves. We're mirror images, not illusions--sha sha! You've been gazing at me all this time trying to read me, but the me that you know, Koyomi-onii-chan, is completely different from the me right now. Don't think for a second that we're the same person. I'm sorry, but, this is me."

Even if I'm Nadeko Sengoku.

Kuchinawa-san said.

In other words, Nadeko Sengoku said.

Dull as I was, I understood what he was trying to say--however, even so, it's hard for me to swallow right now.

That's my instinctive feeling.

The existences reflected in a mirror are the same exact people; and because they are the people themselves, that's fine for understanding Hanekawa and Black Hanekawa, but it's hard to agree that the same was true of all the other people.

Take the very first one I met, Karen, as an example--if her height were to get even lower, wouldn't her identity break down?

"I'm not saying that tall people don't necessarily wish to be tall--just, if there are people who have a complex about being short, then there are people who have a complex about being tall. Your little sister still just graduated junior high, right? She'll catch up to that height, since her inner substance is still growing up, right?"

"Inner substance...?"

No, well, having it said like that I understood; Karen's body will just grow bigger, and speaking of her inner substance right now, she's still not much more than a child, I think.

"..."

So, assuming that?

In Tsukihi's case--in Ononoki-chan's case--in Hachikuji's case--in Kanbaru's case--in Hanekawa's case--in Oikura's case--in Sengoku's case.

If I look at it from that point of view, with the "reversed left and right" that had looked so odd until now, there was finally one thing they had in common--but, assuming that?

"Sha sha. Now that we've put that in order, let's go back a bit to what we were talking about before, Koyomi-onii-chan. 'If you raise your right hand, your left hand moves, so the mirror is reflecting left and right reversed,' is what you said, Koyomi-onii-chan--but that example can't be used by snakes, who have no arms or legs. In a snake's case, how should it imagine the idea of 'left and right reversed'?"

How would you do it?

How would you explain a mirror's 'left and right reversed' to me?

"I would use... the shape of its scales, or the way they line up..."

"Don't seriously think about it like a snake, idiot. The point is, how would you explain 'left and right reversed' to a guy with no concept of 'left and right'?"

"That's..."

This seems like a different pattern than in the Ozma Problem.(3)

It seems easy, but it's surprisingly difficult.

For instance, even if you moved to your right with all your whole body, your mirrored partner moves to their left--however, the crux of the problem is, how to explain 'left and right reversed' without using the words 'left and right', right?

"You say 'the Ozma Problem', but it seems more like 'the Wizard of Oz Problem', doesn't it?"

Said Hachikuji-onee-san, who I'd momentarily forgotten about (I'd decided in my mind not to give a reply, but given the situation I seemed like quite a coldhearted guy); I got worried for a little bit, then I thought about it more, and reached an easy way to answer.

"That's right. I should reflect writing."

"Sha sha. Writing."

"Aah. Since there are a lot of letters in the alphabet that are symmetrical, hiragana, katakana, or kanji would be better, right? If I reflect some of that writing, the characters will be reflected with their lefts and rights reversed, so I can use that to explain the nature of a mirror."

"Koyomi Araragi" will be reflected as "igararA imoyoK".

"Kuchinawa-san" will be reflected as "nas-awanihcuK"--it'll be that so-called "mirror writing" that frustrated me at the bookshop.

Looking at it like that, it'll be easy to tell at a glance that you're not just looking at glass, that it's not just reflecting reality.

"Indeed."

'That's it,' Kuchinawa-san said.

From that facial expression, it didn't look like he was going to say, "Correct! You're smarter than I thought, Koyomi-onii-chan!", but rather, "Finally managed to come up with an answer I wanted, really took your goddamn time, didn't you"--but if that were the case, please, teach me the entire answer with some kind of bullet point list, will you?

As a god, there might be some kind of god rule about not being able to give me a very direct choice, but I remembered what it was like when Oshino gave me an extensive knowledge of oddities in that ruined cram school; now being informed about mirrors and such, and on top of that seeing Kuchinawa-san making that kind of face at me, it's too painful.

...Come to think of it, that ruined cram school no longer exists from my view of the world, but what happened to it in the world on this side?

From what I'd seen until now, it seemed like there were no changes in buildings or scenery other than the design being reversed, but...

"Well then, Koyomi-onii-chan. The next step is...?"

"...Didn't it already happen?"

"Don't worry, this is the last--if this is the end, let's hear Mayoi-onee-chan's opinion."

"Eh?"

Mayoi Hachikuji said like she were surprised, sounding like Kuchinawa-san--as if she forgot what she said herself just before.

If that were the case, then as I thought, it was just a trick to buy time.

Anyway, now is the time for Kuchinawa-san's next--last step.

"If a brand new situation happened to you right now, and you didn't see the 'igararA imoyoK' reflected in the mirror; if you were only able to see the 'igararA imoyoK' letters you wrote on the paper, what would you think?"

"...? Am I in the role of the snake? Is it alright that my intelligence isn't the same as a snake's?"

"Mhm. Don't try to overstretch yourself, now."

That was a cruel thing to say--no, I suppose as a god of snakes, it's natural that Kuchinawa-san would take the snake's side.

Uum.

"Well, even if it is mirror writing, I'd think it were normal, wouldn't I."

"But, you don't know about the mirror. So of course, you don't know about mirror writing."

"...? Then, I wouldn't think it was mirror writing, but, since it's just that I don't know the word for it, in the end, I'd still think it was 'left and right reversed'--"

Hm.

No, that's wrong.

The idea that mirror writing was 'left and right reversed' was only what I would think in a normal situation in front of a mirror--I thought about how I tried to read the history textbook with great effort, at that large-scale bookstore I mentioned earlier.

That's it.

Since the pages were all reversed, I tried to hold them up to the light--that endeavor failed, but what it comes down to is, when I looked at the mirror writing printed on the paper...

I'm sure I turned the paper to its opposite side.

And.

Mirrors don't reverse left and right--

"They turn people--to their opposite side."

I understood.

I understood something for the first time since coming to this world--this wasn't the "mirror country". No; although that was completely correct as a way to comprehend it, the girls I'd seen, had certainly not been turned around so their lefts and rights were reversed.

The girls were--turned to their opposite side.

Their hidden side has become their front side.

So that's the reason why Tsukihi was the only one without a transformation, except for her clothes--no, even considering her clothes; while I might be mistaken as usual, anyway, as I thought, it was because she was that kind of person.

She was a person with neither a front nor an opposite side--even inside of a mirror, Tsukihi Araragi's hidden face doesn't come out.

Indeed.

This place did more than just reflect people; it showed their other side.

FOOTNOTES (1) 'Grade schooler' and 'scholarship student' are homonyms in Japanese, both pronounced 'shougakusei'. (2) '痴女立って’ is pronounced like 'chijodatte'. '秩序だって' is pronounced 'chitsujodatte'. 'Chijo' means 'female pervert' and 'chitsujodatte' means 'put in order/organized'. I tried my best with this weird pun. (3) A famous pop science book by Martin Gardner, The Ambidextrous Universe, contains a chapter called "The Ozma Problem", which follows a number of faulty possibilities for communicating the concept of left and right with a hypothetical alien species, where the communicators are unable to view an object in common.

Chapter 26

“Don't give me that bullshit I'll kill you you goddamn idiot--"

After explaining the situation to Ononiki-chan, I'd been cursed at with some very naughty words--in the other world and in this world, it was the first time I'd received such a harsh degree of abuse from Ononoki-chan.

She was barely managing to preserve her expressionless monotone, but if she were the same Ononoki-chan who originally lived in this world, she'd have put on far from a posed look.

"There was really someone who got in the bath with you, was there. A married woman no less. A widow--"

"No, she wasn't a widow..."

If she were a ghost, then both she and her husband were already dead.

In the first place, since the word "widow" was an idiom with an element of sexism in it, you had to be careful how you used it--though if both people are the same gender, it could be used for things like the Oath of the Peach Garden, or inseparable friendship too.(1, 2)

After finally leaving the Kanbaru household, we had moved to Namishiro Park--there was no real reason to go to Namishiro Park, but since this was where I'd gone after escaping the Rainy Devil yesterday, we were just following the same pattern.

I'd left through the garden after getting out of the bath, riding my bicycle through the middle of Kanbaru and Ononoki-chan's battle, and when Ononoki-chan signaled with,

"Unlimited Rulebook--,"

We flew away.

I could see from how much the Rainy Devil was ripping its raincoat to shreds that it appeared not to have taken significant damage.

It seemed Ononoki-chan had magnificently succeeded in her mission to "not injure her opponent, but only to fight with the goal of taking up time"--that's a professional for you.

But, even as an amateur, I'd done my best--in the square of the park, I told her about the apparition experience I'd had in the cypress bath--which was immediately followed by jeering.

"Dear me..., it feels like I'm scolding a cat trying to be praised by its master by delivering me a rat that it caught."

"It's not that kind of a good thing."

"But that reference was a good one..."

If it were me, since I'm not very good with cats, I'd be quite shocked to see myself represented as a cat in my example.

"And what about me representing myself as your master. Would that go against being fair and equitable I wonder... From onee-san's perspective it'd look like you've become servant to a shikigami, devil-boy."

"'Servant to a shikigami'... That sounds so formal. I don't want to become one of Kagenui-san's underlings..."

As we were talking, I looked around the park--fortunately, there were no witnesses, so to speak, to watch the back-and-forth between me and Ononoki-chan.

I'd stayed in the bath for a long time, and as a result, it had become afternoon--since I was planning to visit North White Snake Shrine once again when night came, somehow it seemed I was going to take one more action before then.

"But Ononoki-chan. I think we should go to, Na O E Tsu Hi Gh Sch Ool... Naoetsu High School next, but what do you think..."(3)

"Hmm... Well, if we have no other leads, that's all we can do, right? But, speaking honestly about how I feel, I'm a bit reluctant to follow Gaen-san's sister's advice."

'How I feel', and, 'reluctant', and such.

For some reason those didn't seem like words Ononoki-chan would use.

"It's not advice--I think. She did say she wasn't giving me advice--this was something like a suggestion, or a hint... It seems like the kind of hint that it's fine whether we use it or not."

Though if I think back, that wasn't exactly her line, was it--just like Oshino drew a line at helping people, Tooe-san also, however much intentionally, placed a restriction on using that rule-breaking talent of hers.

That was the impression I got.

"You say 'this', devil-boy. But you still haven't shown me that stigma yet."

"Eh? Show you? Are you asking me to take off my clothes here? That'd be a little embarrassing..."

"Why are you getting bashful in front of a single person, devil-boy? In the first place your story seems like a lie, and it's not like I can trust you if you don't show me. Aren't you just making up vague excuses for not being able to find anything?"

"Th, that's absurd. There's no way I'm the kind of guy to conceal my own ineptitude by doing something like that."

I shook my head.

While I was thinking about that, it must be connected to the development of having my back washed by a married woman.

"Yes, turn around."

Ononoki-chan spoke like a doctor--it felt strange to hear her go from a doll to a doctor.

She rolled up my shirt.

"Oy, look at this."

"Eh? What? That tone, that line, what?"

"It's nothing. Just a nice muscular back."

"You're complementing my back muscles... seriously?"

"Seriously."

"That's..."

You can try to twist your neck around, but of course, you can't see your own back... but there's no way Ononoki-chan failed to notice those magnificent welts.

Come to think of it, the pain disappeared at some point... when I looked into the mirror in the bathroom, I was unsure whether the scars from those claws would properly disappear, but it seems Tooe-san took that into consideration for me.

However, if she did take it into consideration for me, it was a bit too fast for the pain to have disappeared...

"N, no, it did happen, from before. It was written on my back, 'Na O E Tsu Hi Gh Sch Ool', in katakana, in mirror letters..."

"Dear me. Desperate, aren't you. Desperate, like a boy who can't back out of his lies about having a cute pen pal."

"Please stop using examples from an elementary school romantic comedy, it's not a good gag. This is the truth, Ononoki-chan, look at these eyes of mine! Do these eyes look like eyes that could tell a lie!?"

"This is the first time I've met someone who would actually say that line. This isn't a manga, so there's nothing I could learn from looking at your eyes. That's just a staring contest. Like Appuppu."(4)

"Look at these pupils of mine then!"

"Showing me your pupils is even more suspicious. I'm not an optometrist. At any rate, it would have been nice if this was written in kanji."

"Don't talk scary like that!"

I wouldn't endure the pain of writing in kanji!

"Tsu" particularly would be hell!(5)

"Mm. With this, can you believe me, Ononoki-chan? This adventure of mine was unfurling at the same time you were fighting with the Rainy Devil, Ononoki-chan."

"I'm really not sure if you should call it an adventure, but... well, if you're going to lie, you should come up with something better than this."

"Eh? Are you angry?"

"I misspoke. If you were lying, you would come up with something better... is what I was trying to say. I suppose my real opinion slipped out there."

"If that's your real opinion, now it's your official stance, then..."

"In any case, we don't have any other ideas, do we... so what bothers me is that advice... The one who gave you the hint was Gaen-san's older sister. If it wasn't her, even I wouldn't be making a fuss."

"..."

Although it was the same way in the other world, Tooe Gaen did not go by that name.

My first impression upon meeting her was, well, like that, those kinds of feelings, but... even bearing that mind, it's not like I especially wanted to proceed to Naoetsu High School.

Or rather, if it were possible to avoid, I didn't want to go.

It was a place I thought I'd never go again--how could I possibly march back into the alma mater where I'd performed a dogeza in the staff room at the graduation ceremony?(6)

But, judging from the time it should already be after school.

...If that's the case, there shouldn't be many people inside. Speaking of chances, this was a chance to sneak in, but... even if I was an Old Boy, I'd graduated, and if an outsider like me were to sneak in, I'm afraid they'd get very upset (it would be great if all they did was get upset).

"That's right... As far as that's concerned, setting myself aside, Ononoki-chan, you'd really stand out..."

"That's true, no matter where I go, my cuteness ends up getting me attention."

"..."

That's not what I meant; what I meant was, if there was a little girl inside a high school, no matter how unpleasant, she'd stand out... Even making a joke, it didn't seem like a joke Ononoki-chan would make; as I thought, there must be some differences between this Ononoki-chan and the Ononoki-chan I knew.

I wanted to think that the fact she got truly angry before was one of those variations--now then, whatever she was thinking about,

"That's it. So, let's split up,"

Ononoki-chan proposed.

"You won't get tangled up with the Rainy Devil, or in other words, if we're not worried about having to battle it, there's no need for me to accompany you, devil-boy. While you're going to Naoetsu High School, devil-boy, I'll take a different route by myself."

"A different route?"

"Yeah. Well, I just thought of it now, but..., I don't want to do what Gaen-san's sister says, but after thinking about how there's no excuse not to go to Naoetsu High School, I finally thought of this, but..."

"If you go that far, it's not about warning me, you just don’t like her, do you. How much do you not want to go to Naoetsu High School..."

"I'll go after Black Hanekawa."

She said.

"'Go after', or rather 'search for'..., because I have a big guess as to why Black Hanekawa saved you, devil-boy. I'll try to resolve it."

"D, do you have any ideas about where to go?"

"No, but, well, it'd be careless to say I won't find her because I have no ideas right now. It's not bad to search for a cat now and again. Feels like detective work."

"Well..."

As a reason for refusing Tooe-san's hint, it was perfectly valid--I don't know what I might find at Naoetsu High School, but if we could contact Black Hanekawa, that would be an unmistakably large advance in progress.

If we were able to find her, it would be very hard to get any information out of her, but... I really wanted to know who asked her to come save me.

"And then, well, I think it might end up a fool's errand, but before that I think I'll visit Shinobu again."

"Mm... I'd be worried about that if I were you. Will you be alright?"

"I never thought the day would come when I'd make you worry."

"So why is it odd-couple comedy? Why are your only two choices either odd-couple comedy or elementary school romance? There isn't enough variation in your references."

"I'll be alright. You saw, didn't you? It's hard for Shinobu's aura to affect me... it's almost as if it's hard for it to affect me, but it's not like it'll never affect me; well, it'd be better for me to go than you, devil-boy. I might be able to hear the continuation of what she was saying when I cut her off... That powerfully, unexpectedly selfish princess will probably insist 'I won't speak with anyone but the man himself'--that's why last night, I woke you up at midnight, devil-boy--but this time I'll try to do some kind of reverse dogeza."

"I see, sorry about that. To make you lower your head for my sake... wait, what's a reverse dogeza?"

"You bend your whole body backward, a mysterious kind of retroflexion."

"Just who are you to take that kind of arrogant pose in front of a princess?... How well do you think that'll go? You say you have no ideas about where to go, and that it'll end up a wild goose chase, but if what you're doing seems like it'll have a better chance of success than going to Naoetsu High School, I should go too..."

"Don't forget the idea you were thinking of, that it's just that I don't want to go to that Naoetsu High School... If I accompanied you here, after thanking me I'd have to accompany you back to Naoetsu High School, wouldn't I."

Even if you always say that.

Just how much do you hate Tooe-san?

"For that reason, I thought it seemed hard for me to accompany you all the way, devil-boy. Your lack of mobility will just get in the way in pursuing Black Hanekawa, and you'll just dry up if you visit Shinobu... How about it, has it been settled now?"

"It's settled."

A well-reasoned argument.

'I won't do it because I don't want to do it'; I want to use that method of reasoning--this wasn't an excuse, but if I were to compare this with meeting the alternate Kanbaru's mother, who wasn't reflected in the surface of the bathwater, and receiving a message on my back as we were bathing together, as I'd reported, it's definitely something of more uncertain meaning.

"Well then, in about three hours, we'll meet here and head to North White Snake Shrine. Or rather, it'd be better to meet here and use my 'Unlimited Rulebook' to jump over there, so we can use every minute of our time effectively until then. Devil-boy will go gather firewood at Naoetsu High School, and I'll go put Black Hanekawa and Shinobu in the laundry."

"If you were trying to add more references to the pattern, you've failed. I have no idea what those mean, do I. ...Well, I don't think there's any danger in my direction, so be careful, Ononoki-chan. Setting aside Shinobu, Black Hanekawa is plenty dangerous in this world. She uses Energy Drain and stuff."

"Energy Drain doesn't really mean anything to me. Because I'm a corpse, you know."

"Oh, is that so. I didn't know."

"Speaking of danger, I do think your way is more dangerous, devil-boy--there shouldn't be any battles, but if you move according to Gaen-san's sister's instructions, I don't think you'll get through uneventfully--I think something will happen."

"..."

Honestly, I wouldn't go so far as to say I had a sense of impending danger, but..., for Ononoki-chan to give such a warning, there must be something about Tooe-san.

But if I look at that powerful warning from another angle, it could be taken as powerful acknowledgement--if she says there will be no battles, there must be some value in going by myself.

"If that's the case, I wonder if it'd be better to change into my school unform as soon as I get home...? So I can act like a high school student."

I was going to once more put on a uniform I never thought I'd wear again... Since Oikura went out with my sisters, I shouldn't encounter her when I returned to our room.

"You're right. Well then, I'll see you off. Since I'm deeply sorry for abandoning you like this, I'll at least do that much."

"If I could, I wouldn't have you do anything that'd make you deeply sorry for abandoning me, but..."

Well, that was just something to do with Ononoki-chan and Gaen-san's relationship, and she was originally collaborating with me out of kindness.

Despite knowing how frightening Black Hanekawa was, I said, "Well then, I'll just ask you to see me off," once again, ending the briefing, and switched my awareness over to the next topic.

But this time, I came to grips with Ononoki-chan's misgivings, deeper, heavier than before--I had absolutely no idea how frightening Tooe Gaen might be.

Following her instructions, I was heading for Naoetsu High School--I had struggled through numerous apparition cases where I'd barely escaped alive, but nevertheless, this was something I'd never before experienced: my hair standing on end, as I went to confront my greatest fear.

Footnotes (1) The word Ononoki-chan used for "widow", 未亡人 (miboujin), literally means "not-dead-yet-person", so you can see the issue with its history as a term for "widow". (2) A fictional event in the Three Kingdoms period of China where three commanders met together and became "sworn brothers", which is often used as a "symbol of fraternal loyalty". (3) Tooe's ghost scratched the katakana for "Na O E Tsu Ko U Ko U" onto his back in the previous chapter. (4) Appuppu is a series of Japanese children's picture books where the reader has staring contests with the illustrations. (5) The 'tsu' kanji in 'Naoetsu' is 津, which has 9 strokes. (6) A dogeza is a bow executed by touching one’s head to the floor whilst prostrated on one’s knees; it’s the highest form of deference in etiquette

Chapter 27

...Having said that, that 'fear' and 'confrontation' weren't at the place Tooe-san had sent me, Naoetsu High School.

They had to do with the process of going there.

Once I arrived at the Araragi household after being transported by Ononoki-chan, I encountered a dreadful situation in Koyomi's Room--er, rather, Koyomi & Sodachi's Room.

If I thought about this as preparing your equipment before a boss fight, or refilling your recovery items, it felt like I'd gotten a Game Over from being attacked by the owner of the weapons shop--no, as I'd said before, although I'm very sorry to any Oikura fans who like to see her go through bad experiences, she wasn't there.

She had gone out shopping, happily, with Karen and Tsukihi--there was no one at the Araragi household, and as far as that was concerned I was glad.

That put me in high spirits.

The problem was me, opening my own closet, continuing from the Kanbaru household, finding the clothes in which to execute my sneaking mission into Naoetsu High School--that is to say, it was what happened when I tried to take out my school uniform.

My school uniform wasn't there.

Huh? Did I already throw it out, I wonder? That'd be foolish...

Or rather, maybe it got mixed up in Oikura's closet. But, even if we'd been living in the same room practically like family for so long, I didn't want to barge into her closet without asking... As I was thinking that, I was checking each suit of clothing hanging in my closet in order from the start, and sure enough, I found it.

No.

What I found was not my school uniform.

I don't know, if I were to speak of school uniforms, since the image in my mind is of that so-called stand-up collar of the boys' uniform I'd worn my third year, "that" didn't seem to have the culture of a school uniform, but "this" just might really be a school uniform--at least, it was clothing a student would wear, so I couldn't at all rule out the idea that it was a school uniform.

A sailor blouse. A skirt.

"That" might be what girls call a school uniform--but, I don’t think the hard problem that arises from this is what to call it.

"...I see, I see."

So that's what it is.

So this is what it is.

Er, if this world is not "left and right reversed" but rather "turned to the other side"--like Tsubasa Hanekawa had turned into Black Hanekawa, Koyomi Araragi would be Ougi Oshino, and if this was her daily existence, this would be normal, right--it would be expected that a uniform for men would become a uniform for women.

I've heard stories about novice major leaguers having cosplay prepared for them in the locker room as part of their initiation, but this could be some kind of initiation as a stranger in this "mirror country"--until now it's just been jeans and T-shirts, and a parka, what I'd call my everyday appearance, so I hadn't realized it, but somehow, with this, I could say it's been settled that the "Koyomi Araragi" of this world was "Ougi Oshino".

Sharing a room with Oikura, bathing together with Tooe-san, those kinds of things that hadn't really made sense, seemed like a paradox... no, about Tooe-san, I thought it was just to do with her personality, but Oikura opening her heart to me, flirting with me, if it were originally the case that her partner was a girl, I could understand it after all.

When she was changing, I'd been sent out of the room, but on the first day she jokingly invited me into the bath too...

"Ku..."

I gritted my teeth.

No choice but to wear it... although the series has continued for so long avoiding just this. 'Just this'. It might be that I've been caught up in the moment, but I'm different; little girls, and mature women, and toothbrushes; I've done a lot of stuff, but still, I didn't think I'd ever do this sort of thing. I had thought I was the type to just talk about it and nothing else.

A speaker of nonsense, a siscon junior high schooler, a swordless swordsman, a legendary hero and such;(1) I had thought I was a different breed from those kinds of protagonists, but it seems that I also do this kind of variety.

I've got it, if that's how it is then I won't brood over it.

Let's get these clothes on, and smoothly proceed forward.

We're pressed for time in the remaining pages. My reluctance to not be reluctant to do this is at its maximum.

I was going to wear a girls' uniform to Naoetsu High School--if that was going to make sense; I've always said I have a small build, but Ougi-chan and my sizes should be completely different--but the uniform fit me perfectly, as it it were made to order.

It might have really been made to order.

Fortunately, thus far in my adventures, I'd had many opportunities to come in contact with girls' clothing, so it wasn't that I didn't know how to wear it--since the lefts and rights are reversed between putting clothes on someone and putting them on yourself, it took me some time, but I got the form correct.

I was lucky that Ougi-chan belonged to the stockings faction; I lacked fashion sense, but as one of my few hangups, I didn't really like having my legs naked. Stockings are certainly less unseemly than bare legs for a man.

All right, costume change complete.

I had intended to head right back after changing into my uniform, but it ended up taking longer than I'd thought--I quickly descended the staircase and left the Araragi house through the back.

I didn't look in a mirror.

I didn't want to see.

Since I'd been unwisely letting my hair grow out, I'd really look serious about this.

When I left the house, I didn't think clothes could make me feel this uneasy--well, it wasn't simply feeling uneasy about wearing something for the first time, I was dumbfounded at how little protection a skirt offered.

You have to watch out whenever the wind blows.

Thinking about how girls went about their high school lives with this kind of 'armor', I couldn't help but respect them--I especially wanted to apologize to Hanekawa.

But right now, this wasn't a case of me showing understanding of Scottish culture--anyway, straddling the BMX bike (when you sit in this kind of saddle with a skirt, you need to be careful; this was the first time I knew that--if I hadn't had this opportunity, I probably wouldn't have known it. Indeed, it's just as Tooe-san said; whether you know it or don't know it, that doesn't matter--what's important is understanding it), I started pedaling toward Naoetsu High School.

Never again--well, even though that would actually be an exaggeration, at least, it's been a long time, and I hadn’t thought I’d take this route to school again, but I never expected to have to take it now.

I especially didn't expect to have to take it while wearing a girls' uniform; but, well, no matter what I was wearing, this wasn't my school route anymore.

Thinking about that, it's a little sad.

No matter what happens, whether I'm wearing a boys' uniform or a girls' uniform, whether I ride a bicyle or walk, I'm not a high school student anymore.

I have no titles.

Wherever I am, even if I might be in a parallel world--since indulging in that kind of reverie while pedaling a bicycle is dangerous, I deliberately switched my awareness over.

Thinking about it having switched over, I thought there was something a little strange--that's right, it's not a little, it's extremely strange.

It's suspicious.

If I'm under the impression that the Koyomi Araragi of this world is Ougi-chan, then I could accept without any uneasiness that her uniform was for girls, but if that's the reason why, then all of her clothes should be for girls.

Jeans, T-shirts, my parka, and pajamas were all, well, mens'--which I just now understood, though I'd overlooked the question of underwear.

It would defy logic if I hadn't noticed if all of my clothes had become women's last night when I got out of the bath.

At the point where I'd put on Ougi-chan's panties, or, at the point when I'd put on her bra, I should have realized--so what's going on with this?

Of course, in this world, it's more mistaken to search for logic than to not--since it was impossible for me to fit precisely into Ougi-chan's place, it would be better to not try to seriously make sense of it; however, I think it might be better if I thought this over.

Why then--because it's the opposite.

Because it's inside out.

Thinking about the examples of Ononoki-chan, Oikura and Shinobu, the "true shape" of the bizarre sensation started to clear up.

For instance, Ononoki-chan had perceived some kind of strange, bad feeling from me when I appeared from another world, and tried to deal with it by restructuring herself--I'll say again, she's a girl who could do some outrageous things--anyway, by doing so, she had moved closer to the Ononoki-chan I knew.

Oikura, having come into contact with the me from another world, who didn't know our daily life together, grew worried about the discrepancies between us--since she had always been smart, she might be gradually realizing the truth of the situation.

Even Shinobu was talking about how her memories of "Koyomi Araragi" in this world had grown vague--the general knowledge inside of her could be getting replaced by my general knowledge.

That's the bad influence facing this world.

The bad influence I was bringing as an alien element--just, isn't it strange how yesterday, all of my clothes were still my own, but today, they've become Ougi-chan's?

Hasn't the vector turned the opposite way?

Yesterday, wearing Ougi-chan's underwear, today, if I was wearing Ougi-chan's uniform, it's probable that the direction of the transformation vector has changed--just, if my uniform had become a skirt...

"..."

I thought that it's strange enough that I can't over look it--but I also thought that much of a paradox was more or less alright.

That it doesn't really matter.

For a guy who had bathed together with the mother of a kouhai to suddenly start complaining and making a fuss, it really lacks persuasiveness if I say so myself--it was already difficult to say I was taking an action that made any sense.

Yeah, that's it.

In other words--I was in the process of becoming Ougi-chan...?

It's not just the clothes; from this point on, that manner of... how to put this, rather than say 'bad personality', would I end up becoming a girl with a disagreeable personality?

That's absurd, I think; on the other hand, it was certainly a possibility--or rather, it was quite reasonable, somehow.

The temperature moves from high to low.

Therefore, since the bad influence I was bringing from the other world was high--even so, whatever influence a single drop of hot water brings to a pool full of cold water was, after all, insignificant.

In the blink of an eye.

I'd become one with the cold water.

I'd become simple water.(2)

If that's the case, like Shinobu said--as soon as possible, really as soon as possible, I need to return to my original world.

If I don't--I lose.

And then, I vanish.

Whatever kind of me I am now, I'm losing it.

I'll die.

Like when I graduated, I lost my titles.

Koyomi Araragi will disappear.

That was what made my hair stand on end. That's my greatest fear.

Footnotes: (1) These are cheeky references to protagonists in other Nisioisin series: Zaregoto, Katanagatari, etc. (2) This is in reference to a Gaen-ism, "If you can't become medicine, become poison. Otherwise you're just water."

Chapter 30

Surprisingly, she was there.

"Yo, you're late, aren't you--I'm thoroughly tired of waiting, Araragi-senpai."

Greeting me with a line just like her uncle's.

Ougi Oshino.

Ougi-chan.

A first year at Naoetsu High School, my kouhai--

Talking the same way as her uncle, that is, Meme Oshino, might be revenge for yesterday--if that's the case, it would start to look very appropriate.

As expected of a relative of his.

Which she is.

"Or I should say, what's with that appearance? Please, stop cosplaying as me, or whatever that is."

"You say that, but aren't you cosplaying as me...?"

I returned the question--Ougi-chan was wearing a Naoetsu High School uniform, or in other words, a boys' uniform. Looking like that, she was sitting on top of a desk.

A desk from Year 1 Class 3.

However, it wasn't the current Year 1 Class 3--nor was it even the real Year 1 Class 3. It wasn't the classroom I'd used when I'd enrolled, or the classroom used by the class after that--it was none of those.

Before Ougi-chan had transferred, she and I had gotten lost, and then had been locked away, in a spectral classroom we could see from a rough sketch did not originally exist in Naoetsu High School--the ghost of Year 1 Class 3.

If I have to say it.

The place where it all started between Koyomi Araragi and Ougi Oshino--

"Well, 'this' is simply a joke. And 'that' was also simply a joke..."

Ougi-chan said, looking strange.

Her cheeks were bulging, as if she was trying not to burst out laughing--was my cosplay guise really so amusing?

"Has nobody quipped anything at you so far? Or was it more like people going along with the joke? Araragi-senpai--even if it was the case that your uniform was switched with mine, there was absolutely no need to come wearing that."

"Ah."

"No, not 'Ah'. Good grief, you really are a fool, aren't you--well, that is part of your charm after all. Don't you worry, nothing cruel will happen from now on."(1)

We’re still not out of this yet, though...

While thinking that, I looked around for my seat, or rather the seat I'd used at the time, and sat down. This was different from when I was here with Ougi last; I could confirm it by looking at the clock, which, despite the left to right reversal, was still ticking--it looked like it hadn't stopped since it had started moving again after that ordeal.

But for nobody else to be here except for the two of us, it was the same as that time--or would it be better to say just the one of us?

Since Ougi-chan was my other self.

Since she was my shadow, a copy of myself--myself reflected in a mirror.

Ougi Oshino--in other words,

She's my partner.

"Mm, huh? Isn't that strange?"

"Oh? What is, Araragi-senpai? There isn't anything strange here."

Ougi-chan tilted her head to the side.

Like she did when feigning ignorance.

"No... I'd thought that you were the Koyomi Araragi of this world, so..., you weren't here, so I'm becoming more like you, because of the pressure from the world, but..., if you're here, then why did my uniform change into a girl's one?"

I'd been thinking about it like: somehow, this world's Ougi-chan--in other words, this world's "Koyomi Araragi", had been switched with the me from my original world, but if she's here, was that not it?

No, I don't know whether Ougi-chan would say it like this, but since it was beyond the scope of this world, it might be possible for there to be two or even three of us... one going to my original world, one remaining here...

"You're thinking a lot, Araragi-senpai--so you're probaby overthinking it. Black Hanekawa-san should have relayed that to you."

"Huh... relayed? Black Hanekawa? What does that--"

What it means was nothing more than this.

The one who had made the request to rescue me to that cat was Ougi-chan--at any rate, once I thought about her as myself, I could understand it without room for doubt.

Until now, I hadn't considered that possibility, because Hanekawa and Ougi-chan didn't get along at all, but if it's the case that their worldviews had been turned to the opposite side, there would be room for that kind of cooperation.

"Overthinking, hm. I might be. But not thinking would be unwise, right? I have to think moderately, to understand moderately--"

"That's Tooe-san's view, is it not? However, answering according to reason has its limits--though that's just what I would say."(2)

Ougi said, grinning broadly.

A smile knowing no bounds.

"No, please relax, Araragi-senpai. This is the finish line. There are no more destinations after this--hey, Araragi-senpai."

"What is it?"

I answered, cautiously.

If she was going to check my answers from now on, I'd have to be cautious--the meaning of those words I'd heard over and over until now, 'Find your partner', could be more like 'Find the culprit'.

The theory that this was Ougi-chan's premature revenge hadn't really been refuted--what was starting now might not be the explanation of the riddle, but the confession of the culprit.

"Didn't you think it would all turn out to be a dream?"

"Eh? Well, that's..."

It looked like I'd missed the timing for being cautious, hearing that; it was a bit of a letdown for me--was I just pretending or something?

"I... did think that. Not just once. ...I mean, is there anyone who wouldn't think that in this situation? Reasoning doesn't make sense, it's full of paradoxes, it's a world that ignores the relationship between cause and effect... It's called a lucid dream, right? Even now, I'm thinking that it's just a dream."

"That's right. Mixed bathing with Kanbaru-senpai's mother, wearing my uniform, they're certainly things you'd dream about."

"No, don't talk about those things like they're my desires..."

"Living together cheerfully like that with Oikura-san, after seeing her worn-out, thin, meager state, didn't you think that was also something you wanted to see?"

"'Oikura-san's worn-out, thin, meager state'..."(3)

It was the first time I'd met someone to put that idiom into practical use.

Well, it was actually me, but..., those were still words that fit Oikura more than anything.

"But if it was just a dream, there's something lacking about that explanation... things happened that there's no way I wished for, and there were plenty of things I didn't know."

"Fu fu fu. But, is that so. There's actually no evidence that things you don't know don't come out in a dream. People even have nightmares--"

"I thought that too, but..., well then, are you saying that this world is my dream after all? That I'm sleeping in my bed, and still haven't been woken up? That I'm unable to get up if I'm not woken up by my sisters?"

"Or, on the way home from the graduation ceremony, riding my BMX in high spirits, you got into a traffic accident like Hachikuji-chan and Tooe-san, and now you're in the hospital, in the middle of wandering the boundary between life and death--this is your dream on the verge of death--"

"..."

"Well, if something like that happened, there's no way Shinobu-san wouldn't save you, right. This is what's called overthinking."

My example of it, Ougi-chan said.

Same as ever, she was a girl whose statements were clear, but it was a mystery what she was trying to say--that this was my partner, and that she was still my other self, it was a little hard to accept.

I had a newfound appreciation for how Hanekawa had accepted Black Hanekawa.

"Well then, how about this. Though, typical of Ougi-chan, it's a perfectly plausible explanation."

"What is it? If that's the case then let's hear it all out."

"It's all right, even without that kind of determination, this is the final explanation--Araragi-senpai. Two years ago from now, in this classroom, your relationship with Sodachi Oikura broke down, correct?"

"Mhm..."

Well, she'd been a childhood friend, but that, more than anything that happened previously, was what had made our relationship break down--the final blow was on that day, when that happened.

"Yeah, yeah. And one year ago from now, you met Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade during spring vacation--and lots of things happened after that. You connected with Hanekawa-senpai, you fell in love with Senjougahara-senpai, you made friends with Mayoi-chan, you hung out with Kanbaru-senpai, you renewed your old friendship with Sengoku-chan--my uncle and Yozuru Kagenui, Deishuu Kaiki and Yotsugi Ononoki, Tadatsuru Teori, and Seishirou Shishirui; you've encountered many names and many situations, haven't you."

"...So what? Are we doing a summary now? The graduation ceremony is over, so are you saying we're making a signature registry now? Or are we all signing the fancy paper?"(4)

"If,"

Ougi-chan said, ignoring my frivolous jokes--presenting me the final explanation.

"If all of that were a dream, what would you do?"

Not the current story.

If the entire story until this one--has been just a dream.

Footnotes (1) "Good grief, you really are a fool" (mattaku, oroka desu nee) is one of Ougi's favorite lines for Koyomi. (2) Koyomi used the word 理解 (rikai) for "understand" in the line before this, so Ougi says 「理による解には」(ri ni yoru kai ni wa), breaking the word into its parts which mean, respectively, 'reason/logic' and 'unravel/answer/explain'. (3) "Worn-out, thin, meager state" here is my best translation of the expression 地獄から火を取りに来たような (jigoku kara hi wo tori ni kita you na), which literally means something like "looking like you came taking the fires from hell". (4) 色紙 (shikishi/irogami) is fancy colored cardboard paper used for autographs and poetry and such.

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