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ask-de-writer · 5 years

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With explicit permission, I am importing the entire Dr. Mordenhiem’s Travels, Book 1, De Writer’s Equestria, Chapter 1

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DR. MORDENHEIM’S TRAVELS, BOOK 1:De Writer’s Equestria,Ch. 1

@Mordenheim

1918 words

Used with author's permission

Tumblr exemption: Blog holding users of Tumblr.com may reblog and post this work provided that the entire title and copyright block remains intact with all links included and is displayed at the head of the work.

Fan art, Fan Fiction, cosplay or other fan activity is actively encouraged.

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The tall, slender zebra staggered his way through the tangled undergrowth of the Everfree forest. Dead branches tangled in his mane, tugging his head back and even clawing at his eyepatch as he trudged onward, pausing occasionally to make sure he still had his saddlebags. He had been wandering for what seemed like days as the paths constantly shifted and changed direction as he traveled. Once in a while he would follow a seemingly straight path and end up passing the same tree several times. Other times he would take a sharply curving route that seemed to circle back on itself, only to end up in an entirely different location.

It was still mostly dark when he finally pulled himself free from the brambles and stumbled into a small clearing. The broken and crumbling remains of an old castle stood before him, however this particular castle was somewhat odd. From the rubble he could see that various different types and colors of stone were used to construct its walls and towers. Each tower also seemed to once have a different type of roof. A rounded spire on one, a flat top where he spied the rotting remains of an open wooden trap door. Prodding at the walls with a hoof, the remaining stone seemed solid and sturdy. Perhaps this would be a place he could fix up to stay for a while.

Around the front there was a short path that lead to a small building. It had perhaps been a guard house or a small barracks at one time. A few old, broken benches sat inside as well as various shelves and racks along the walls, all covered in dust and cobwebs. However, through the front he saw the most welcoming sight of all. No more than ten feet from the front door was an actual cobblestone road and the faint pink light of the rising sun on the horizon. He had finally found his way out of this forsaken forest.

He had followed the road to the east for a short way before he stopped, confused. He could see the outskirts of Ponyville up ahead, yet that town had ever only had a simple dirt road between it and the Everfree. When had they built such a fine road, he wondered to himself. As well as pondering just how long he actually had been lost in the wood. He was well aware that time passed strangely in the Everfree, and space itself seemed warped and broken.

Making sure his saddlebags were still secure and doing his best to get the worst of the burrs out of his fur he trotted into Ponyville proper. As he looked around he could see that quite a few things had changed while he had been lost. The buildings seemed different, more colorful and sturdier in build. The roads were solid and well-maintained and the trees and grasses trimmed and cared for. All of this, however, was quickly wiped from his mind as the scent of delicious cooking wafted past his nose, causing his empty stomach to clench painfully and give a low growl.

Trotting along the street, following his nose he soon came upon a smallish building with a sign out front sitting across from a well maintained park. “Caramel Treat’s Sweets” was a lovely little restaurant and certainly the source of the delicious aromas. He paused outside of the door for a moment. It was not yet full dawn and most eateries that he knew of only operated from dawn to dusk, or from lunch hour until late.

He was starting to draw a few stares from early risers as he waited until full dawn. He rolled his eye as several ponies opened their door to set about their of business, laid their eyes on him, and immediately slammed their doors, peeking through window shades. He rubbed at his eyepatch as he sighed, he was well used to this reaction by now. He only hoped that his patronage would be accepted at this little restaurant or who knows how long he would have to wait to eat. He might even have to brave the pink whirlwind that inhabits Sugarcube Corner. He shuddered at the thought.

He need not have worried, though. Just a few moments later the door opened wide and a young caramel colored mare with a blonde mane stepped into view. She started to speak but quickly changed her tune a bit when she spied a zebra the size of a Rom horse on her doorstep! “What a beautiful.. Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t know we had a customer already!”

Victor was pleasantly stunned by the warm response! He smiled, careful not to show his sharp teeth as he lowered himself into a graceful bow, “Good mornin’ to ye. I was just wondering if you were open yet for the day. I’ve been traveling a long distance and would like to rest my weary bones for a bit and purchase a meal.”

Caramel’s ear twitched a bit. The zebra’s voice was deep and rich, but that certainly was not a Zebrican accent. She smiled and nodded, trotting back into the restaurant, “Of course, of course, please, come right in!”

The huge zebra smiled and entered the restaurant, ducking his head as he entered more out of habit than anything. The inside was well-lit and high-ceilinged with several tables, chairs, a small bar, even pillows to sit on here and there. He trotted over to the bar so he would be a bit away from the windows and pulled over a soft pillow to rest upon. His old joints creaked as he lowered himself, grateful that he finally got a chance to relax.

Caramel trotted over with a glass of ice water and a menu. Setting the glass down, she placed the menu in his hooves. She sniffed at the air, seeming to be sniffing at her own cooking when an odd look crossed her face. She blinked once, then smiled knowingly at her huge guest, “Just let me know when you’re ready to order. I should be able to hear you just fine.” She leaned in with a soft whisper and mentioned, “If you need any items towards the back of the menu, just let me know, I’ll need to move you in case of other guests, but we will gladly help you here.”

Victor was a bit taken aback by the strange look, but the gentle smile afterwards seemed to reassure him. He blinked a bit, curious about what she meant by items towards the back, but he decided he would check the entire thing anyway. He had just about decided on a dish called clovertop scramble with vegetable fries and something called Rom black tea when he flipped to the back of the menu. His eyebrows raised as he saw the page filled with meat options. Fried or baked fish, roasted chicken, even bacon! He had to lift a napkin to his mouth to hide, and soak up the drool. Shaking his head, he looked up from the menu, wondering how she could have known.

Making up his mind, he decided it might be best to take it easy on his system after having not eaten for so long. He called out to her and placed his order. A clovertop scramble, a bit of dry toast instead of the fried vegetables, and a cup of Rom black tea sounded perfect. In mere minutes, she had brought out the delicious-smelling food and placed it before him. He thanked her and slowly tucked into his meal.

Every bite was wonderful. A slight bit of black pepper and a tang of salt gave the scramble an incredible flavor, every fluffy bite seeming to melt in his mouth. The toast, in spite of being dry as he requested, was crisp and flavorful, a perfect pairing to the scramble. The tea was unlike anything he had tasted before. Spicy and floral with a soft bit of warmth underlying everything. In spite of trying to take his time, it was mere moments before he was using the last corner of toast to wipe his plate clean.

He smiled contentedly, remarking how wonderful everything was as Caramel Treat trotted back over to the bar. He paid his fee and tipped a single golden bit. Caramel looked at the coins a little oddly as she hadn’t seen any quite like these before. They were real, the right weight and metals, but the imprints were odd to her. The copper coin had an image of a phoenix in repose, the silver a long, slender dragon or sea serpent curling around the edge, while the golden coin was the most interesting. Both front and back bore an intricate Celtic knot design around the edge. The front bore an image of two hooves grasping a heart topped by a crown while the rear bore the motto “Friendship, Loyalty, Love” struck into the soft metal.

He tilted his head to the side as he watched her studying the coins, “Is something wrong? Did I need to do some sort of money exchange before paying?”

Caramel shook her head, “No, there’s no problem. I’ve just never seen coins like this before.”

Victor nodded, “Ah, that explains it. They’re from my home country, Shireland. I’ve picked up other coins in my travels, but the majority of them are still from home. I have a question for you, though.”

She nodded as she got her explanation for the odd coins, but then it was her turn to be curious about his questions. He leaned in close, still smiling but this time feeling comfortable enough to let his oddly sharp, interlocking teeth show a bit as he whispered, “How could you tell I might be interested in the items in the back of your menu?”

She grinned in return, pointing a hoof up to a sign above the bar, central in the restaurant for every creature to see. On it were depicted the images of two large wolves with the text “If you have any problem with any customer of ours for any reason, be it race, kind, species, belief or any other reason at all, PLEASE LEAVE. We bite, HARD!”. She winked and said, “I think that’s a pretty good likeness of myself and Fangrin.”

Victor’s jaw almost hit the bar! To find not just one, but two creatures similar to himself was amazing! He smiled even more pleasantly and reached out to gently take her hoof, bowing his head once more. “Thank you so much for your hospitality. I will be sure to stop back very often, indeed. In the meantime, however. It’s been a very long time since I’ve visited ponyville and it seems a lot has changed over the years. Do you know of anyplace nearby where I might be able to get cleaned up and make myself a bit more presentable?”

Caramel smiled and nodded, shaking his hoof in return. “Sure, the Ponyville Day Spa is right down the road in the town square! Just tell Lotus Blossom and Aloe Vera that Caramel sent you and they’ll fix you right up and even give you a nice discount!”

Smiling brightly, he thanked the mare once more for her wonderful meal and her company before trotting out of the door. His spirits lifted, he held his head up high as he made his way towards the town square! Perhaps Ponyville had changed for the better after all!

NEXT==>

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auroraphilealis · 7 years

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How To Win A Boy: Fumbling Punk Edition

How To Win A Boy: Fumbling Punk Edition | Dan Howell, local punk, and his friends need a new cafe to hang out in, now that Dan has ruined starbucks for them (don’t ask). So they try out the new family business that just opened up a few days ago… and somehow Dan falls in love with the Pastel Goth kid behind the counter who just so happens to be his waiter. Why Phil seems to think disgusting smoothies are going to win Dan over, no one knows, but… well, they do. | Phan | Teen and Up | PastelxPunk | 8,359 Words

Thanks to @botanistlester for the title, and the fic inspiration, not to mention listening to me talk about this fic for the last 3 hours of writing. I apologize for any typos, but screw proofreading, I really want to post already.

Art: (Dan & Phil) (Mini Comic) (Full Comic)

(ao3 Link)

The first time Dan saw the boy, he was cleaning the lobby of some cafe that had only just opened up a few days ago. Dan and his friends had popped in for a quick cuppa with the express purpose of staking a claim on one of the back lounge areas, intent on making it their new “hang out” after school, when Dan spotted him.

He was a colossal 180cm’s at least, if Dan’s own height was anything to go by, with dark purple hair he whipped out of his face with a casual hair flip the second Dan and his friends set the door to ringing. His eyes were bright blue as turned to took in Dan and his friends with a look of absolute disinterest painted across his face, and then he was turning away and getting back to work on the counters at the front of the shop.

In his hands he held a bright yellow wash rag he used to wipe down all the surfaces, but it was his fingers that really caught and held Dan’s attention. They were long, and skinny, paler than anything Dan had ever seen before, but sure in their movements. Firm, long strokes over the counter tops made Dan shiver with the mental image of the boy touching him like that, and he had to shake his head when his friends jostled him to get his attention.

The boy was wearing a bright pink sweater that cascaded far past what appeared to be skinny wrist bones, and he wore tight, light blue skinny jeans that were plastered to his too skinny legs, but that’s all Dan got to take in before he was being forcefully turned away to find a seat.

Dan’s head was spinning with the image the boy had presented, nearly the opposite to everything Dan was. He hadn’t gotten a real good look at the boy’s face, or his features beyond the dead look behind his eyes, but it was clear he was an entirely different breed of human to Dan and his friends.

While the boy’s hair was dyed an intriguing purple, Dan’s was his dull, natural brown, and while the boy wore bright, pastel clothing, Dan wore nothing more than black on black on black, on a daily basis. He couldn’t even begin to imagine, as he sat down in a booth next to his friends, picking up a crisp new menu from the table, what it would be like to wear something as bright as blue, let alone pink, and he found his gaze flicking up from his place in the cafe to stare unashamedly at the staff there.

When he and his friends had decided to come check the new place out, glad to be away from Starbucks and the hipsters there for once, Dan had not been expecting to find a wait staff who were so… well, one might say intimidating, but Dan would say attractive.

Or, at least, the boy was as intimidating as his dead eyed stare was, and the unnatural downward tilt of his lips that Dan would have found more natural on someone like him, rather than the pastel beauty taking up residence in his new favorite cafe. Dan sighed, probably more loudly than he’d intended, and dropped his menu on the table to instead prop his face up with his hand.

“Uh-oh, guys. Looks like Dan fancies another bloke,” one of his friends teased, only for Dan to move one hand strategically up at him to flip him the bird.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, but didn’t even try to hide the way he was unashamedly staring.

His friends giggled at that, the one next to him shoving him a little and making another teasing remark that Dan pretended not to hear (yes, Mark, Dan was aware he was being incredibly gay right now, but could he just shut up for one second) before they all rolled their eyes at Dan’s ridiculous staring and turned back to their menus.

Dan could hear them all discussing lowly with each other what they wanted, a small smile quirking up his features at the image that left him with of what he and his chav friends must look like sat in the back of the cafe laughing and pointing out ridiculous sounding menu items to each other, but still managing to be far more polite and quiet than almost everyone else in the cafe. He could see a few other patrons already staring their way, taking in the piercings covering most of their faces, and the tattoo’s on clear display.

Dan himself was wearing black skinny jeans and a dark black jacket covered in zips, but he knew his sleeves were perfectly visible just at his wrists because the jacket arms were cut a little too short, and his face was absolutely covered in piercings. He had snake bites in his lip, and a stud on the side of his nose, not to mention an eyebrow bar and four piercings on each of his ears.

On top of that, Dan had a tongue piercing and a belly button piercing, with a smattering of tattoos covering his thighs and his sides, a myriad of his personality printed deep on his skin because Dan liked nothing more than to be a walking piece of art. He even had a blue bird inscribed on his collarbones in memory of the bird he’d had as a pet from age seven to age fourteen, the one and only companion he’d ever been able to call his.

He’d admittedly been pretty broken up over the loss of his pet, but he didn’t like to tell anyone that, so the tattoo was the next best thing, a little story he could tell that made him smile rather than sad.

Dan’s friends were nearly as tattooed and pierced up as Dan himself, which left it no surprise to any of them that they were getting stares, but it still made Dan want to stick his tongue out at the other customers. At least he and his friends were less disrespectful than them, who seemed to think it was a competition to see who could talk the loudest in the loud cafe.

For a new place, it was rather crowded, though. Dan found himself grinning at the idea of actually enjoying the food for once, and not just the view, though the view really was quite nice, particularly when cafe boy bent over to pick up something he’d seen on the ground, and his ass pressed rather firmly against the seat of his pants.

Damn, he had a round ass.

Mark jostled Dan from next to him again.

“Okay, seriously, Dan. You’re the only one who hasn’t looked at the menu. Planning on having cock for lunch, or something?” he asked with a laugh, the others following along with him. Jordy waggled his brows from across from Dan, and kicked him lightly in the shin with his overly big combat boots.

“Yeah, Dan, looking for some good arse tonight?”

Dan groaned, and covered his face in embarrassment for his friends, shaking his head as he finally tore his gaze away from pastel boy across the way. He’d just ducked behind the counter and seemed to be pulling on an apron, so Dan could expect him to be arriving at their table any time soon. The least he could so was not get caught too blatantly staring, even if he wanted to.

“Didn’t I say shut up,” he complained quietly, moaning a bit as he pulled the palm of his hand away from his face to glare at his friends. The expression, he knew, would be completely useless, as he’d been told on multiple occasions that despite his many piercings, he was far too cute to be in the least bit intimidating.

As it was, his friends just laughed at him.

“Come on, Dan. The waiters coming over now. What are you gonna have, cause I’m not waiting for your slow ass to pick something before we can get our drinks,” Lyle complained, shoving the menu at Dan once more for good measure. Dan ignored it completely and rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat with arms crossed as he stretched his legs out, uncaring if he kicked Jordy or not.

Jordy grunted, but merely shifted his legs a bit over, much to Dan’s appeasement.

“Don’t worry, mate. I’ve got a plan.”

The words had barely left Dan’s lips before the pastel cafe boy he’d been staring at this whole time finally appeared next to them, holding a notepad and a pencil with one carefully styled eyebrow quirked at the boys in front of him.

“What can I get you?” he drawled, expression still rather neutral for a guy who was staring at them all with an expectant lilt to his mouth, seemingly bored out of his mind.

That wasn’t what caught and held Dan’s attention, though. No, it was the fact that this guy appeared to be wearing black eyeliner and possibly a bit of mascara from the way his eyes popped, the blue glinting with shades of green and yellow. His eyebrows were very obviously plucked and filled in, and he had a fucking eyebrow piercing of all things. That still wasn’t the most surprising thing about the pastel boy, however.

No, that was the fact that he was wearing a goddamn black lacy choker with a cross on it, and damn, did it look good pressed against his pale skin.

“Dan? What about you? Hey Dan?” Mark was asking, poking and prodding at Dan until he got the other man’s attention. Startled, Dan blinked rapidly, and then turned to look at his friends, who were all staring at him knowingly with little smirks on their faces.

Dan turned back to face the cafe boy with a bright blush on his cheeks.

Wasn’t he meant to be being sauve right about now?

The boy quirked a brow at Dan.

“I - uhh… Whatever you’d recommend?” he managed to squeak out after another second of blatant staring, his eyes roaming over the boys features to pink, plump lips. The boy smiled, somehow still managing to look bored, and noted something down on his notepad.

“Will that be all?” he asked, voice carrying a deep, northern drawl that made Dan shiver from the intensity of it. Oh, how he’d love to hear that drawl whispering dirty things in his ears.

“And maybe your number for our mate Danny over here,” Jordy piped up, much to the humor of the rest of the table, who all burst into laughter as Mark reached over to pat Dan roughly on the back. Blushing even darker, Dan hid his face with a hissed “fuckers,” from the corner of his mouth as he did his best not to groan, terrified to look up and take in the expression on the poor pastel waiters face.

The cafe boy didn’t say word, though he did chuckle dryly at their commentary, and then he walked away.

“What the fuck was that!?” Dan hissed as soon as he’d heard the retreating footsteps of the guy he’d been mooning over for less than ten minutes now. “You fuckers! Are you trying to get us kicked out on our one chance to wave goodbye to Starbucks for good?”

Jordy and Mark rolled their eyes, but it was Lyle who replied, snorting loudly and reaching over to grasp Dan’s chin in his hand.

“Don’t forget you’re the reason none of us want to hang out at Starbucks anymore. I don’t know what you did to that poor barista, but I’m like ninety-nine percent sure he’s been spitting in our drinks for months now, thanks to you. If we don’t force you to get over your stupid little crush on pastel boy over here, we might end up in the same boat all over again,” he complained quietly, quirking a brow at Dan that told him just how serious the other boy was.

Dan gulped, and dropped his gaze with a soft little sigh.

“It’s not my fault I was more into his best friend than him,” Dan complained, but shook his head all over again. “But alright, fine. I’ll try not to mess this one up.”

And by not messing this one up, Dan got the feeling all of his friends knew he meant he’d at least try not to get caught fucking some other guy in the restroom of cafe boy’s workplace during cafe boy’s shift. Not that cafe boy was bloody likely to be at all interested in Dan now after the mess his friends had just made of his flirting, but, well, Dan could try and be a little bit more suave the next time cafe boy came around.

Turned out he wasn’t very suave after all, however, as the next time cafe boy returned, he looked disgruntled and was wearing a name tag that read Phil, and was carrying two trays of drinks, one of which held some kind of desert Dan was certain Mark had ordered. Phil propped them both down carefully on the edge of their table, and started to hand them out, brushing his fingers causally against Dan’s when Dan reached out for his.

Whatever it was was bright pink, and sloshed over the side onto Dan’s fingers. It was cold, at least, rather than hot, and looked a bit dubious, but Dan wasn’t going to complain. Instead, he offered Phil a bright smile, and asked, “What’s this?”

Phil, dead behind the eyes Phil, finally offered back a grin that bordered on sinister smirk, his eyebrow bar lifting with his expression.

“Shirley Temple’s Dream. I made it myself. Premium, not on the menu yet,” he explained, a sparkle in his eye that Dan was unsure he liked very much. His own smile twitched a bit into a frown as he turned his expression dubiously back down to the drink.

“Well?” Phil drawled in that agonizingly hot northern voice of his, and Dan’s gaze snapped back to his. “You going to try it or not?”

Dan gulped, but nodded his head, unable to hide the fear in his eyes as he stared back down at his drink once more. It was really pink, but there was something colorful like… like… fruity pebbles, or something, floating throughout the thick substance, and was that… a seed?

Dan would rather drink straight coffee than whatever the hell this crap was, but he was supposed to be impressing pastel cafe boy, wasn’t he? Especially after seeing the rather punk aesthetic had had going on about his face, not to mention the fucking make up. So Dan picked up the drink, and dragged the straw over to his lips before taking an experimental sip.

It was like… it was like… drinking cotton candy and pop rocks and bubblegum all mixed in one but somehow made up with the consistency of a fruit drink, pulp and seed notwithstanding, and it was the most disgusting thing Dan had ever drank.

Still, he forced himself to swallow it, and did his damned best not to let his expression show just how disgusting he found the thing to be, keeping his head low and his fringe hanging in his face for all of a few seconds before he finally looked back up at his waiter with an expression of strained enjoyment.

“It’s good,” he mumbled, trying to force back down the vomit that was trying to crawl up his throat. “Definitely - definitely worth putting on the menu,” he continued, clearing his throat quickly and trying to hide the fact that he was about to sick the whole thing up by taking another long sip of the thing.

Once it was in his mouth, however, Dan couldn’t help wondering where the fuck he was meant to put it, and swallowed almost reflexively. Jordy, Lyle, and Mark were all stifling giggles as Dan visibly grimaced, but it was Phil’s expression Dan was most interested in.

He looked - surprised? Almost taken off guard as he peered at Dan with shrewd blue eyes, the black of his eyeliner making them look bigger than they actually were. The smirk that had been pulling at once side of his mouth had fallen until he was back to frowning, eyes narrowing at the sight of Dan.

Then, just as suddenly as he’d began to glare, he brightened back up - as much as Phil seemed able to, which was about as far as his lips quirking and his eyes retaining some kind of life in them other than the words kill me - and said, “Thanks! I’m glad you like it. Make sure you finish it all for me, okay?” and then turned on his heel and walked away.

Dan was left staring slack jawed at the way his hips and bum moved, not particularly attractive, but catching his gaze nevertheless, as he slowly began to realize that is had been a joke.

Whatever the hell Phil had just served him hadn’t been meant to be taken as anything more than the disgusting monstrosity that it was, and yet… Dan couldn’t bring himself to mind.

As his friends laughed around him, jostling each other and making fun of Dan’s expression, daring each other to try Dan’s drink and laughing when they all said no, Dan merely smiled to himself and stared after Phil with a pitiful look on his face, taking the straw between his lips and sipping once more at the god awful drink.

The finished the whole damn thing, because Phil had asked him too, and when he and his friends left a few hours later, he made sure to wave goodbye, catching one last look at the pastel cafe boy before he left for the day.

They returned, as planned, the following afternoon, with Dan dragging his friends along behind him not moments after the final bell for school let out. He hadn’t ever seen the boy from the cafe before, and didn’t know how old he was, but he didn’t seem that much older than Dan himself. Dan was half expecting to see him cleaning the counters again like yesterday afternoon, but when he and his friends first stepped in, the pastel beauty was nowhere to be found.

Dan frowned, put out for all of a second before he realized it probably made sense. The boy couldn’t be too much older than Dan, really, and there was a chance he hadn’t gotten home from school yet. Still, Dan was disappointed as he, Mark, Lyle, and Jordy all sat down in the same vacant booth from yesterday, and picked up their menu’s.

Today, an older woman was manning the front counter, her hair a beautiful blonde pulled back in a little bun. She wore a pink apron, the opposite of Phil’s, but they both held an insignia of the name of the cafe, Broderia. The lady’s smile was practically beeming as she carried out cakes to the front and stowed them in a little glass case to keep them fresh, and brewed coffee all at the same time.

There was far more life in her step than had been in Phil’s yesterday, and yet… Dan couldn’t help finding himself missing the tall pastel boy he was rather enamoured with at this point. He sighed, and placed his head down on the table with a little put out groan as the others snickered at Dan’s misfortune.

“School just let out, mate, what were you expecting?” Jordy asked, but Dan didn’t respond. Instead, he stared despondently out the cafe window into the street across the way, and tried to ignore the buzz in the cafe.

It was just as busy that day as the day before, with most people settled in at the bar area, and a few on the other side of the shop. A couple was settled in the booth in front of Dan and his friends, but they were quick to leave, leaving them mostly alone. The little old lady manning the front was busy with the other customers at that moment, but Dan didn’t care.

He was sort of hoping she wouldn’t get around to serving them until Phil showed up - assuming the other boy even worked that day.

With another heaved sigh, Dan moved to prop himself back up on the counter and actually take a disappointed look at his menu, when the front door opened. Instantly, Dan’s head snapped up at the jingle, overly hopeful that it would be Phil, and yes, it was the other teen! His hair was just as dark as it had been the day before, the choker a glisten against his neck, and his eyes still rimmed darkly in black eyeliner.

Today, though, he was wearing a pale blue shirt with a cute little flower on the breast, and high waisted white shorts with three buttons that buttoned up to his belly button. They hung kind of low, mid way down his thigh, showing off creamy pale skin that Dan wanted to lick more than anything else.

What made the entire outfit even better, however, was the fact that his shorts showed off the highly detailed, watercolor tattoo cascading down from his upper thigh about midway to his knee. There were two delicate flowers, one done in a light pink, and the other in a light blue, with delicate leaves and light weeds growing out and around them, all in light shades of black and green and yellow. Dan wanted to scream at the sight of it.

He was fairly certain his jaw had dropped open as well, if his friends giggles were anything to go by.

Phil, on the other hand, was giving Dan the utter most blank stare he had ever been given, and it made him want to shrink back. He suddenly felt kind of gross for staring so unashamedly, only he couldn’t help it, and it wasn’t as if it were any secret by now that Dan had a massive crush on the pastel cafe boy.

That eyebrow piercing, though. Dan kind of wanted to smooth his fingers over it, kiss the boy and find out what his mouth tasted like. He licked his lips unconsciously just as the boy drew closer, and watched his eyes widen subtly.

Dan smirked as he realized he’d shown off his tongue ring on accident, just a glint, and locked his gaze with Phil’s as the boy wandered by, a backpack slung casually over one shoulder. Definitely a student, then.

The lady who’d been manning the front counter finally started to make her way over to Dan and his friends, but Phil shook his head at her.

“I’ve got this table. Let me just wash my hands,” he promised, expression not changing for even an instant, and yet the lady began to smirk.

She cast a glance Dan’s way, offered him a wink, and said, “Alright, honey. I’ll get back to the kitchen, then,” her voice just as motherly as Dan had imagined.

It was then he realized this must be a family business, and that that had been Phil’s mother winking at him. Dan colored darkly all over again.

Lyle snorted at him.

“Oh man. Dan’s got it good this time.”

“Shut up,” Dan mumbled for the millionth time, and tried to hide his face in shame.

It wasn’t his fault Phil was everything Dan had ever wanted in a guy, soft tattoo’s and piercings galore, make up and an aesthetic that Dan would not mind hopping on if he didn’t think he looked ridiculous in any other color besides black. Dan groaned all over again, embarrassed out of his mind, and looked back up at his snickering friends just in time for Phil to appear, once again in his apron and with a notepad in hand.

His expression was just as bored as it had been yesterday, the choker bright against his pale skin. Dan wanted to press his lips just there against his thudding pulse -

“What can I get you today?”

Mark, Lyle, and Jordy rattled off their orders in quick succession, just as polite as yesterday, but there was a knowing look on their faces as they turned and waited for Dan to offer up an order of his own. Dan’s fingers shook on the menu in his hands as he considered his options.

He could either admit that he needed a little more time and actually look at the menu for once, or he could… stomach another one of Phil’s horrible drinks for the sake of impressing him.

Yeah, well, it was obvious which one Dan was going to pick.

“Whatever you’d recommend,” he stated again, this time far more calmly as he grinned at Phil, who did nothing more than stare bemusedly at Dan. His eyes narrowed for a second as he seemed to take in Dan, gaze trailing over his face and down his chest.

Was… was Phil checking him out?

Apparently so, as his gaze moved slowly back up Dan’s body and stopped at his lips. Dan wiggled under his intense scrutiny, cheeks turning pink, until Phil finally, finally stopped staring to offer Dan that same half smirk smile from yesterday.

“Coming right up,” he declared, and turned on his heel to head back behind the counter once again.

Dan felt like his heart had stopped, and he was certain his flush went far beyond his cheeks by now.

Lyle whistled.

“Well then,” he stated simply. The others were eerily quiet. “I guess… stomaching disgusting smoothies is the way to win a guy over, then.”

Dan couldn’t help but to agree, and he swallowed thickly as he imagined just what it would feel like to get those soft, pale pink lips on his. Damn… What Dan would do to bring some life to those bright blue eyes.

He found himself grinning to himself. Phil was a sight to see, and Dan knew next to nothing about him, but he wanted too, and wasn’t that enough? He’d like to touch that beautiful pale skin, have those long skinny fingers running over his skin, hear that voice moaning his name -

Dan was brought up short from his thoughts by a thump on the back of his head, and turned just in time to see his friends shooting him soft little grins.

“Lover boy,” Jordy said, “We were just talking about maybe doing something over the weekend, unless…?”

Dan stared at them for a moment, and then tossed a glance over at Phil, who was staring rather blatantly at Dan as he mixed up something in the blender. It was a horrid green color this time, and Dan had no idea if he was going to like it or not, but, well…

“We’ll see,” he decided, and offered Phil a smile. The other boy’s lips twitched from across the way, but he didn’t give in to the expression. “I think I might just be… busy,” he decided.

The green drink Phil brought him a few minutes later was almost more horrid than the nightmare pink think from yesterday, but Dan still slurped the whole thing down, even managing to prevent himself from sicking it back up from how fast he drank it.

Phil watched him the whole time, looking satisfied, and Dan was rewarded with a smirk at the end of it.

It was Lyle’s fault the four of them ended up in detention the following day, and normally, Dan wouldn’t mind so much if it weren’t for the fact that he’d been rather interested in seeing Phil that afternoon for another round of cat and mouse. Whether Dan was the cat or the mouse, he didn’t really know, but he had a horrible feeling he was more the lab rat than anything else.

Still, the hour delay after school had left Dan in a bit of a bad mood, and he stomped to the cafe, friends trailing after him, the moment they were free.

“...your fault, Lyle,” Jordy was complaining as they pushed into the warm place, the smell of baked apple pie instantly assaulting Dan’s nose. He couldn’t help inhaling deeply and closing his eyes for a moment, and then continued on his way to what was fast becoming his and his friends booth, still empty, as it always seemed to be.

There was no sign of Phil, but Dan wasn’t giving up hope just yet. If the job was a family thing, than surely Phil was just - in the back, or something. Besides, there was no one manning the front, so it wasn’t an impossible dream.

“Shut the hell up, you guys didn’t have to go along with a damn thing. I was the one who made the joke,” Lyle whined in response, sliding in next to Dan this time, and boxing the taller boy in against the inside of the booth. Dan tried not to pout at this treatment.

Mark rolled his eyes.

“You knew we’d back you up. Don’t give us that shit,” he complained. “Never again, please. The last thing I need is to spend another hour in detention with Miss. Catterpiss, or whatever the fuck her name is. Seriously, how could anyone smell so bad!?”

The other two snorted in laughter, but Dan was distracted.

Phil had just walked out from the back carrying what appeared to be a freshly baked apple pie, and he was staring right. At. Dan.

There was a furrow between cafe boy’s brows, almost like worry, but it smoothed away the minute he seemed to recognize Dan, and a slow smirk began to spread across his features instead. Dan stared at him, trying to take in his outfit of choice, the nice pale aesthetic of the off-white t-shirt he was wearing this time matched with an almost bright blue pair of skinny jeans.

They were off-colored as well, however, just light enough to be considered pastel, and highlighting his frame quite nicely. The color really suited Phil, Dan decided right then and there.

“So when are you going to ask him out, then?” Mark asked rather suddenly, drawing Dan out of his thoughts. He jumped a bit, but tore his eyes away from Phil, who was still staring at him. Dan had to shake his head to get his mind out of the gutter, having been unable to imagine what lay just beyond the boys zipper, and tried to focus back on his friends.

“I - uhhh, I mean…” Dan stuttered, going bright pink all over again.

Not for the first time, Dan realized he must look a sight. A boy with multiple face piercings and sleeves that were currently on display due to his t-shirt - a mishmash of dying flowers and a few aesthetic nintendo pieces inked on both arms, as well as a cascade of nimble looking fairies which spoke loads of Dan’s sexuality - blushing. Actually blushing.

Dan couldn’t help it if he colored easily.

His friends waited for a response.

After a moment, Jordy reached over and nudged at Dan’s arm.

“You are planning on asking him out, aren’t you?”

“Asking who out?” Phil asked, his norther voice far more husky now than usual. He looked… almost put out, if you wanted to try and read the bored expression on his face, and it made Dan’s heart shrivel up into a tiny little mass. He could practically feel himself sweating as he shoved at Lyle’s side next to him, wishing he was on the outside, and shook his head.

“N-no one, I - they were just joking,” Dan promised, staring imploringly up at Phil. He wasn’t sure asking the pastel boy out was exactly… appropriate, but he also didn’t want the teen to think that Dan was interesting in anyone else, either.

Phil didn’t seem to like this response, however, as he narrowed his eyes chillingly at Dan, and then turned his attention to the other half of the table, namely, Mark and Jordy. Dan felt his heart plummet even further down his stomach, and moved his gaze miserably down to the table in front of him.

His fingers picked at his menu, but he didn’t open it, didn’t scan it over with his eyes, determined to do as he’d done the past two days and ask Phil for his recommendation.

“And for you…?” Phil asked, trailing off as he seemed to realize he didn’t know Dan’s name.

“Dan,” Dan piped up, instantly snapping his attention to Phil and grinning at him. Phil hardly blinked, though he did seem to start to glare. Dan nearly wilted into himself, but he remained as positive as he could. “I, uh… whatever you’d recommend?” he squeaked out.

Phil nodded curtly, and started to turn around, his posture all wrong for how it had been the past few days. Dan frowned, and, before he could think twice said, “And maybe a slice of that apple pie you had earlier?”

Phil stopped, but didn’t turn around, and then carried on his way.

Dan sunk back into his seat, miserable.

“Thanks a lot, guys,” he complained.

Mark made a sound of regret, but Jordy merely pursed his lips.

“It’s not my fault you didn’t take the chance and hop on his dick.”

Dan chose to ignore that comment, and sighed as he turned his gaze to stare out the window.

It was the middle of winter, and it grew dark rather quickly these days, not that Britain was ever particularly sunny to begin with. Still, it was clear just how late Dan had been to the cafe that afternoon, and he wondered if he’d been right in assuming Phil��s expression earlier had been one of worry.

Was he worried now that Dan had hooked up with someone at school, or something? Did he think that was why Dan had been late?

He didn’t know, but he let his thoughts drift as he waited for Phil to return with his and his friends meals.

The loud sound of a glass plopping down in front of him drew Dan out of his thoughts, and he looked up, astonished, as Phil practically threw a black smoothie at him, followed by a plate holding what appeared to be a perfectly ruined slice of apple pie.

Horrified, Dan risked a glance up at Phil’s face, only to find him practically sneering.

“You did ask for my recommendation,” he stated, and then turned and marched away.

For the first time, he didn’t for Dan to try the smoothing, nor did he turn and look at him once he was back behind the front counter. In fact, he seemed to be studiously avoiding Dan’s gaze all together, determined not to pay him even one iota of attention, and Dan felt his heart plummet still further.

Letting out a brief sigh, Dan cradled his cheek in his palm

“Uhm. Mate. Are you seriously going to eat that?” Lyle asked after a moment, pointing at the slice of apple pie sat in front of Dan. It was covered in whipped cream and sprinkles, a bit of what appeared to be hot chocolate dripping off the sides, and its crust was badly crumpled.

Dan considered it for a moment, then the shake, and said, “I’ve eaten everything else he’s given me so far, haven’t I?” and picked up his fork to dig in.

The apple pie was horrendous, the worst thing Dan had ever eaten, but even the black shake couldn’t help him wolf it down. That tasted almost like burnt hot chocolate mixed with cinnamon or something, and if Dan was being honest, he wouldn’t be surprised if it was.

Still, he slurped it down good naturedly, only gagging a few times, and tried to keep his glare even as he stared at his friends, all of whom were quite enjoying their normal coffees and shakes. Dan couldn’t help envying them, but he was in way too deep now. Unless Phil was the one to offer him something actually good for once, Dan wasn’t sure he could enjoy it anyway.

Just as the last two nights, Dan finished every last drop of his shake, even when he didn’t want too, and managed to stomach the apple pie, too.

When he left with his friends, he waved to Phil, but the other boy didn’t so much as bother to look up at him.

Dan was pretty sure apple pie had been ruined for him.

Dan returned the next day completely alone. It was a Friday afternoon, and while his friends had come to quite enjoy Dan’s antics with the pastel cafe boy at their new favorite cafe, they weren’t really inclined to return until Dan had fixed things with their new waiter.

Mark was convinced his chocolate shake had tasted funny, while Jordy and Lyle had mostly made fun of Dan, but it had been enough to scare the three of them away. Dan, on the other hand, couldn’t just give up. Not after the mess he’d made the day before.

Phil hadn’t even been able to look at him, and Dan wasn’t entirely certain that his finishing of the terrible dishes Phil had left him would be enough to win him over. Instead, he was left with a bitter taste in his mouth and a bowell system that pretty much hated him at this point, and nothing more to do than at least try.

When he entered the cafe this time, Phil was already behind the counter. One glance up at the door, however, sent however fleeting of a smile had been on his face into a grimace of epic proportions. Dan quailed under the look, and scuttled away to the same booth he and his friends had been sitting at for the last three days.

It was a little strange being back in the cafe without his friends, and, unwilling to look at the menu like he did every other day, Dan merely fidgeted with his phone in his hand, and then the salt and pepper shakers, and then his own tongue ring against the back of his teeth as he stared out the side window and waited for Phil to come and take his order.

It took an inordinately long amount of time, but Dan was too afraid to face Phil ignoring him to glance up and see if Phil was even pretending to head to his table. He couldn’t bare to see the other male glaring at him, or worse yet, going about his work day as if Dan weren’t even there.

Of course, that meant when Phil did appear at his table, it came as a complete shock to Dan, particularly when the arrival was announced with the sound of a glass landing rather roughly against the table.

“Drink your shake and leave.”

Dan stared up in absolute horror as Phil glared at him, his arms crossed rather harshly over his chest. He was wearing some kind of light purple sweater with an upside down cross of all things on the front, and black jeans, which took Dan completely by surprise.

Phil never black jeans, and it seemed to belly his mood at the moment as he glared down harshly at Dan.

Was it just Dan, or was his eyeliner thicker than usual, as well.

“I - uhm - what?” Dan stuttered out in response, when it became clear that Phil was waiting for something. “You didn’t even take my -”

Phil glared at him.

“I didn’t have to. Now finish it, and leave.”

Phil didn’t wait for Dan to say another word. Instead, he turned on his heel, and stomped away.

For once, Dan wasn’t staring at his ass. Instead, he stared miserably at the back of Phil’s head, terrified he’d just fucked everything up.

Slowly, Dan turned his attention back to the drink Phil had left for him. It was red, this time, and for some reason, it looked like art. Dan could see little lumps of something all around, mostly dark black and seeping into the red like they wanted to take over. There was a bit of orange, something that looked frighteningly like a cockroach, and lychee oozing down one side.

As Dan looked at it, he couldn’t help thinking it looked like what heartbreak felt like, and he felt his own heart break. Slowly, he risked a glance at Phil who was determinedly not looking at Dan, and sighed.

He’d royally fucked up this time, and it had all been a stupid mistake. He’d just thought - it was kind of a game, he and Phil were playing, right? He wasn’t supposed to ask Phil out… they were just supposed to… Dan dropped his forehead down on the table, and groaned loudly to himself.

Why was he such an idiot? He had snakebites and an eyebrow bar, sleeves on both arms, and he couldn’t work up the courage to say “You, pretty boy,” or something when Phil asked who Dan was meant to be asking out?

How in the world was Dan meant to fix this now? He didn’t know, but he kind of wanted to punch himself in the face.

Drinking Phil’s drink came close enough, so, with a determined look on his face, Dan drew the straw to his mouth, plugged his nose, and began to drink.

It tasted worse than heartbreak, and he nearly vomited it right back up, but he squeezed his eyes shut and drank it faster, determined to finish this if it was the last thing that he ever did. As he drank, he couldn’t help imagining the way Phil had looked yesterday when Dan had apparently hurt him, and he felt his heart squeeze all over again.

He’d been a jerk, and he kind of deserved this, he knew. Still. It was - painful, to say the least.

Even with his nose plugged, the drink was the worst thing he’d ever had, and he was almost certain the cockroach looking thing had been a fucking piece of chocolate. That did not mix well with whatever strawberry, pineapple, pomegranate thing Phil had given Dan, either, and was that chunks of mango!?

Dan knew better than to ask, and merely sipped faster at the drink, swallowing thickly, and tried not to gag.

About half way through, Dan was forced to stop and take a breather, gasping as he pulled his mouth away from the disgusting drink, and wishing desperately for water to chase the taste away. He didn’t have the luxury, however, and was left with nothing but that same disgusting taste on his tongue as he risked a glance upward at Phil.

Phil, who was staring at Dan with an expression of clear surprise in his eyes. Dan only had a moment to take it in before Phil was glaring again and turned away abruptly, but it was enough.

It was enough to tell Dan… that this was the right way.

Suddenly, an idea formed in his mind, and Dan turned to dig through his backpack for a pen and a piece of paper, determining to clear things up right here and now, and finish his drink in the meantime.

Dan returned his mouth to his straw as he began to write.

Pastel cafe boy, or Phil, if you prefer

Sorry about yesterday. I’m quite a bit shyer than my exterior would… imply. I was scared of scaring you away, but now, i think i’ve well and truly mucked that up anyway, so, well…

My friends were teasing me about asking you out, so i figure. Better late than never?

Xxxx-xxxxx-xxxxxxx call me

- Dan

Every time Dan’s phone went off for the rest of the night, he practically jumped on it, he was so desperate for it to be Phil. Unfortunately for him, every time he picked it up, it wasn’t from an unknown number, and, by midnight, Dan had all but given up.

He’d had maybe three shitty conversations with a couple of facebook friends, had played a bit of crossy road, and had even managed a few youtube videos before giving it all up for good, and climbed into bed. He wanted Phil to text him more than anything, and he didn’t realize quite how desperate he’d been until Phil hadn’t done so. Had he really fucked up that bad? Was it really something that Phil couldn’t forgive?

The thought made Dan’s chest ache. He’d drank Phil’s heartbreak shake, and left him a note. What else could he do?

As Dan laid down to sleep, one final thought popped into his head.

Of course. He had to show his face one last time, and proved he meant it.

Dan didn’t know what time Phil worked on Saturday, but that didn’t matter. He woke up at eleven, the earliest he’d ever woken up on a weekend, and shrugged on an old ratty grey t-shirt and a ripped up pair of skinny jeans that showed off his legs. He pulled a beanie over his curly mess of hair, and made sure he at least looked well kempt before heading out of his house and back towards the city center.

It was a twenty minute walk to Phil’s cafe, but it was worth it. Dan would do anything to get one last shot with the darkly pastel cafe boy, even if that meant drinking another one of his horrendous shakes. Dan still had no idea if Phil would even be working yet, but he didn’t care. He’d wait in the shop all day, waste all his money if he had to.

He was determined to see Phil if it killed him.

For the second time, Dan was completely alone when he walked into Phil’s family cafe, the door tinkling above him. Instantly, Dan’s gaze shot around the cafe, finding business as usual, one side of the small building rather crowded, the bar filled with guests, and Dan’s usual back of the room completely empty bare from -

Phil.

Dan’s mouth practically went dry as he took in the boy who was leaning casually back against the booth with a tiny little curl at the corners of his lips, gaze clearly locked onto Dan’s. There were two drinks in front of him, as if he’d known Dan would be coming, that looked… remarkably horrifying, if Dan was being honest, but the fact that there were two and a Phil gave him at least a little bit of hope.

He took a surprised step forward, still trying to take in the fact that Phil was wearing those high waisted white shorts again and a cute black top, this time, with pink flowers all over it, tucked into his waist. Phil just looked so good, with his eyebrow piercing and his mascara, which was clear as day today, the eyeliner and his hair down such a dark, wonderful purple.

His thigh tattoo practically glared at Dan as he made his way across the cafe floor to Phil.

“Is - is this seat taken?” he asked as casually as he could once he reached the booth. Phil was still smirking at him.

“Yeah. My boyfriends just in the bathroom,” he explained, his expression bland as ever, eyes sparkling with -

Dan blanched. Boyfriend?

His gaze darted backwards to the bathroom, and then down to the two horrible drinks sat in front of Phil as the slow realization started to set in. Of course Phil had a boyfriend. Why else would he be sat in a booth with two drinks sat in front of him? As if he could have known Dan was coming today.

No wonder he hadn’t texted… no wonder… no wonder he’d served Dan the worst drinks ever, just for looking at him.

Dan took a startled step backwards.

“Oh, I’m - I’m sorry, I didn’t -”

But before Dan could get the rest of the words out, Phil was laughing at him. It was the first time Dan had properly heard him laugh. Phil threw his head back, and the sound burst right out of him, high pitched and adorable as his face scrunched up and his tongue stuck out between his teeth on one side. The sight made his entire face light up like Dan had never seen before, and it was killing him.

He could feel his heart racing in his chest, eyes wide as he stared at Phil, and found himself impossibly falling even more in love with him than before.

“Dan,” Phil stated, when he finally calmed down. For the first time, he didn’t look dead behind the eyes as he looked at Dan. “You idiot. Of course the seat isn’t taken. I’ve been waiting for you,” he said with a dramatic eyeroll, gesturing at the seat across from him. “Who the hell else am I going to get to try my shakes, after all?”

Dan blinked for another moment, still startled and a little bit scared that he’d flirted with someone else’s boy, but eventually felt his heart beginning to slow down a bit. Phil just looked so precious, smiling up at Dan like he was his whole world, and surely there could be no boyfriend? Not when Phil had been flirting back...

Slowly, Dan took the seat across from Phil. Phil’s leg bumped his, sending a jolt of something through Dan, and he found himself blushing and looking down at his lap. It was hard to keep looking at Phil when they were finally so close.

But why… why hadn’t Phil texted him last night?

“Did you get my…?” Dan started, avoiding Phil’s gaze.

The other boy, it seemed, was having none of that, as, after just another moment, Dan felt a cool hand brush his cheek, and then cup just under his chin, forcing Dan to look up at him.

“Course I did, but where’s the fun in texting you when I knew you’d be back?”

Phil’s eyes were sparkling with that same old mischief, but this time, he was actually grinning, and Dan felt his heart do a somersault. Slowly, a grin of his own started to curl up his cheeks, as he thought, who could argue with that?

#phanfic #phanfiction #phanfictioncatalogue #dan and phil #punk dan #pastel goth phil #punkxpastel #snowbunnylester

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