#i can't wait for ed to try apologizing to him and izzys just like what are you talking about | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

areyoudoingthis · 8 months

Text

the more I think about it the more I love how they resolved the izzy situation after s1. this season has been all about turning poison into positivity, all about the effect stede has on the world through the people whose lives he touches, through his people positive management style and killing them with kindness.

and it has also been about how ed needed to learn to love himself, needed to overcome the trauma born of the violence he always felt doomed to perform so he could come to see his own value and give himself permission to become whoever Ed wants to be. but we saw last season how hard that was for him, because of the baggage he carried and because at every turn someone was trying to pull him back into performing blackbeard and wearing a mask he never wanted in the first place.

izzy was the embodiment of all that, was more there to reflect ed's struggles and his journey than anything else (he was his dad and he was hornigold and he was all of the angry men in ed's life and the angry words they kept repeating in his mind.)

and how do you set ed free? because the show is the relationship, and is deeply a story about love, it becomes possible through the effects of Stede's love and kindness on the world. stede makes the world softer around him and that softness ends up enveloping ed and giving him space to explore himself, to stop listening to his own fears and self hatred and to what everyone wants from him and take the first step into self love.

what do you do with izzy then? just kill him off? but we all wanted to hear an apology from him, we all wanted ed to hear that he wasn't better off dead and that being soft wasn't something he could never have because he wasn't those kind of people. and for that to happen, for the world to reflect some goodness back to ed instead of violence and hurt, izzy had to go through some changes himself. and so he does, because of Stede's crew.

and it's all so ed can hear "maybe you should listen to it" when he expresses hopefulness about leaving blackbeard behind, so he can hear "you're good now, you're ready. Ed, you're surrounded by family. They love you, Ed. Just be Ed."

this isn't about izzy, this is Ed allowing himself to let go, to embrace ed and retirement and love and warmth. izzy dying was symbolic of the end of an era in his life, and I can't wait to see what the rest of it looks like

#i wrote this in my sleep and vomited it as soon as i woke up #ofmd #our flag means death #edward teach #ofmd meta #ofmd spoilers #alex watches ofmd

257 notes · View notes

kingofallthecosmos · 8 months

Text

Ofmd season 2 episode 6 spoilers!!

The way they showed Ed and Stede's first time was so interesting to me. First of all, it happened directly after Stede killed someone for the first time, so automatically, Stede was in a very strange and vulnerable headspace. And that's not to say he was taken advantage of--he very much initiated it--but it happened while both of their identities were up in the air. Stede was adjusting to being an *actual* killer, while Ed had just apologized earlier for shooting Izzys leg.

And then we see Ed sitting on the bed, still fully clothed in leather while a shirtless Stede closes the curtains. And what interests me the most is that we don't even see his face. All we see is Ed looking up from the bed, and Stede looming close to the camera, mirroring the way that Blackbeard was first introduced to the show--facing away from the camera and smoking a pipe, obscured with power and mystery. The fact that their first time co-occurred with such a dramatic shift in dynamics is a little concerning but I have total faith that they will *eventually* talk their shit out).

I don't fully believe Ed when he said that night was a mistake. I do believe he has commitment issues like a bitch, and when Stede started to become more like him, he got scared. We can see him pulling away, sitting in the corner of Spanish Jackie's as Stede revels in his infamy. He wants to truly make amends to the people he's hurt and traumatized, and he can't do that if he's with someone who's drinking, and making people walk the plank, and lighting people on fire.

And it's not because Stede is evil--sure he's a bitch, and occasionally ends a life or two, but that's not who he truly is--its who he's trying to be. A murderer, not a bitch--cause he is a bitch, but he's trying to be a murderer, because his whole life he's been bullied and mocked for not being manly enough. For not being a good husband, for being sensitive and soft, and well, gay. And Ed doesn't understand that this is why he wants to be like him, like Blackbeard (because they haven't fucking talked about it), because for Ed, being Blackbeard ruined his life. It nearly ended it (and others) and he doesn't want Stede to fall down the same path.

So yeah, Ed decides to become a fisherman, because like he said, he has no idea who he is. He still has so much healing to do, so many wrongs to right, and it's just so fucking tragic that now is the time when they need each other the most, but they're moving so rapidly in opposite directions, and neither of them know how to communicate it.

I think Anne and Mary were right--they are fucking 14 year old boys. I mean, Stede literally called Ed a coward for leaving instead of chasing after him. But they're not going to turn out like them. Ed and Stede are going to grow up, and they're going to talk, and they're going to heal each other's scars instead of causing each other more. They're going to learn how to commit to each other and stay even when things get hard or scary. (David Jenkins please for the love of all that is holy let them better each other and also fuck again but after they come to terms with who they are and want to be)

Edit: actually, hot take, but I think them having sex actually was a mistake. And yeah, Ed left instead of talking about it, but still. Their relationship is still so new and unstable, and I wish they waited until they were in a more grounded place. I wish they would have reckoned with their opposing paths before doing something so intimate and vulnerable, but I have a feeling they're going to reckon with it by the end of the season.

Ed asked Stede to go slow for a reason. And yeah, they both consented, which is more important than anything, but damn, it happened so fucking fast. I mean, they are gay, so. (David Jenkins I am in your walls please make Ed and Stede practice healthy sexuality and communicate about their life goals so they can prevent further miscommunication and heartbreak)

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #our flag means death meta #ofmd season 2 #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackbonnet #gentlebeard

55 notes · View notes

demonsonthemoon · 7 months

Text

Here As I Am

Fandom: Our Flag Means Death Pairing: Israel Hands & Edward Teach Word Count: 1610 Rating: Gen Summary: “It's not even that bad,” Ed says. “Stop,” Izzy protests weakly. “Stop! Stop it. Eddie, just-” Ed feels tears gather in his eyes, but he listens. For once in his life, he listens and stills his scurrying hands, waiting to hear whatever it is Izzy has to say to him. “Stop trying to save me. Stop pretending you care." Notes: Hello, hi. Mmmmmh........ so that ending, right? I didn't like it. I felt like it wasn't earned. So I wrote the set-up for a more tragic version of an ending that would lead to an entire arc of heart-wrenching internal conflict. I'm so much fun at parties. Title from "Because the Night" by Patti Smith

Read it on AO3.

There's so much blood on his fingers as Edwards calls out for help. He's not used to that anymore. He's gotten with his persona as someone that's above getting his own hands dirty.

Stede gets up to grab bandages and Ed can tell from his tone that even he doesn't believe that it will do any good. But Edward pretends he hasn't noticed. He can't let himself notice. Because if even Stede, blindly optimistic Stede who raced the oceans after Blackbeard after he had stranded his crew, if even the Gentleman Pirate cannot believe anymore...then there really isn't any hope left.

“Great, Bonnet's in charge. I'm definitely fucked,” Izzy says. Snarking still even as he bleeds out under Ed's hands.

The joke should be reassuring. Izzy is still Izzy. Can't be anything too wrong with him if he's still capable of sarcasm.

But Ed knows better these days. Izzy might have kept barking at the crew half the time, but the rest of his days were spent nursing a bottle. And there wasn't any shouting whenever Edward was on deck. The truth is, Ed already knows that Izzy isn't the same man he used to be. Edward made sure of that, butchering his body as he saw fit.

The toe hadn't been the first time Ed had marked easy. But all his other marks had been gifts. Those news scars... They weren't anything like that.

Izzy might be acting sarcastic, but there's no warmth in his eyes to let Edward know that he's in on the joke. There's just pain. So much pain. And Ed might not have ever seen that face before, but the Kraken has.

There's a certain tiredness there as well that pulls at Ed's heart.

“It's not even that bad,” Ed says. It's a lie. It's just another lie, the umpteenth one in his long career as a pirate. He knows it and Izzy knows it. His first mate has always been able to read right through him.

“Stop,” he protests weakly. “Stop! Stop it. Eddie, just-”

Ed feels tears gather in his eyes, but he listens. For once in his life, he listens and stills his scurrying hands, waiting to hear whatever it is Izzy has to say to him.

Fuck. He has so much to say to his First Mate. So much to explain, so many things to apologize for. He's been such a dick for the past few months and, sure, Izzy's been a dick all of his life, but he's always been there.

And now he might not-

And Ed can't-

And-

“Stop trying to save me. Stop pretending you care. We both know the choices that have led me here, and if you must take everything from me, at least leave me with the dignity of dying a pirate's death. It's the least you can fucking do.”

“Izzy, what are you-”

“I love you.”

Ed feels the tears run down his cheek. There's a finality to Izzy's tone that brooks no argument.

“Izzy, I'm sorry-”

“No. Don't. Don't you dare say that. I love you, and I hate that I still want to fucking say it when I'm about to fucking die because of you. This is because of you, Edward. All of this. Because of my love for you, and don't you dare apologize because you fucking wanted it.”

The hand that he had slipped behind Izzy's neck to keep his head from the deck suddenly grips into a fist. Izzy smiles through gritted teeth, and it feels like he's biting into Ed's skin.

“We called it loyalty, but we both knew what it was and you let it grow, and I won't let you apologize. Reap the fucking fruits you've sown. It's about damn time you face the music for your actions, captain Blackbeard.”

“No, Izzy, no. I'm sorry.”

“What are you even sorry for? Do you know?” The smile is softer this time, but it doesn't matter. Edward is already flayed open.

“I fed your darkness, Blackbeard. It was supposed to protect us. But you decided you'd outgrown it. Did you even think about what it left me with?”

Ed doesn't want to hear this. Not now. Not like this. Izzy is his best friend. He can't die like this, words of hate in his mouth and reason enough for them to be justified. He can't die with the name Blackbeard on his tongue, Edward's name another thing that got stolen by the greatest pirate of the Caribbean.

It's not fair.

“I need him. Blackbeard... It was us. I needed you. And you left me.”

Ed thinks of Stede. It's the worst moment. The man still isn't back with the clean bandages and Izzy is dying in his arms and Ed is still thinking about Stede anyway.

About waiting for him on the docks.

About waiting for him on the ship.

He thinks about the moment he realized that Stede wasn't coming back, that he had left.

He thinks about how he closed the door to his own feelings, put on the skin of the Kraken, how he stopped seein anyone around him because his gaze was entirely consumed by absence.

“Now I'm leaving you,” Izzy adds. He manages to sound triumphant even as his body is wracked by a cough that ends in a pained gasp.

“Izzy, you can't go. You can't leave me.”

“I wanna go,” Izzy responds.

It's like the ground is opening under Edward's feet. Like their ship is falling directly to the bottom of the ocean, not a drop of water in sight. And then it keeps falling, through layers and layers of earth and rocks.

Edward did this. He took the best thing that had been given to him – true friendship, loyalty that ran deeper than blood – and he twisted it. Made it devotion, made it worship, until – like all proper gods – he stopped even talking to the man he calls his greatest friend.

And now Izzy wants to leave. And now Izzy is leaving.

“No, please,” Edward cries out. “You're my only family.”

Izzy dies with a smile on his lips and Ed gripping his jacket and his hair.

Edward calls out his name. Once, twice. And then he crumbles into the other man's chest and screams.

The ship inside of him doesn't stop falling and he doesn't stop screaming. Everything he has kept trapped inside his chest for the past decade is coming out. All of the emotions he repressed, because Blackbeard doesn't show any emotions. All of the love he never managed to allow past his lips because he thought that it would only be met with scorn.

All of the words that he never said, and now it's too late. Now his best friend is dead.

He feels hands on his back, trying to comfort him. He doesn't move, even when his scream turns into sobs.

He hears Stede's voice, some shouting, and he notices movement around him, the crew getting to work to get the ship moving. He doesn't look at what's happening. He doesn't check whether they're doing things correctly. Those kinds of things are Izzy's job.

Let them strand the ship, let them capsize for all he cares.

He shudders as that thought registers. He recognizes the impulse for destruction, the one that powered him for those months he spent without Stede, running the crew ragged and sailing them directly into storms.

It had been some sort of drive then, something that could get him out of the blankness of his mind, out of the deep hole that was taking over it. It doesn't seem to build up the same kind of energy now. He's so tired.

Hands push at his shoulders. He resists. He keeps his face against Izzy's shirt, doesn't care if he gets blood all over his cheeks, doesn't care if it gets in his mouth.

“Edward.” It's Stede's voice, right next to his ear. Edward shudders again, hides deeper in his best friend's dead body. He doesn't want to face the other man, not right now. He knows that all he will see in Stede's face is the details that Izzy hates. Hated. Stede's wavy hair, the softness that is still in his eyes even when it has mostly disappeared from his body, the unconscious mannerisms leftover from his upbringing that he never quite managed to do away with.

“Edward, we need to move him. We need to clean the- to clean him. And you. You can't just stay like this.”

Edward whines. He's not Blackbeard in this moment. He's a pitiful little boy who only wants to hide in his mother's skirts, but he has already learned that it's not safe there.

Stede's gentle hands pull at him once more. He's too tired to resist. He gives up. That's the story of his life, lately. He lets himself be pulled away until he's sitting on his butt. Stede crouches in front of him and pulls him to his chest, and Edward keeps crying.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jim and Oluwande drag away Izzy's corpse.

“I'm sorry, Ed” Stede says.

Ed suddenly wants to move away. He can't hear this. Not coming from Stede. Not when Izzy refused his own apologies.

He hates himself for the part of him that longs to hear Izzy say the same words. To hear Izzy acknowledge the role he's played in Edwards own suffering.

But the man lost several toes, he lost his leg, and he still stayed with Ed until it got him killed. No matter what he wishes, Edward cannot ask for more. He realizes that now.

#Meeni writes fics #Our Flag Means Death #Izzy Hands #Edward Teach

8 notes · View notes

izzy-b-hands · 2 years

Text

Just a little silly scene of Lucius living in the wall post near drowning survival, then being stuck in the wall much like Ed feels stuck in the role of the Kraken, then being freed as a reward for freeing Ed.

Or at least Ed's working on it, after all he will have to partially break down a wall now.

---

"Lucius?"

"Ed! Hi, hey, so I know our last conversation didn't go well," Lucius stammered, and tried to arch his back away from the edge of a sharp nail, not totally flush to the board it held in place. "And I may have been hiding here since getting back onboard. Which I feel you can understand, since I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it."

Outside the wall of Stede's shelves, Ed stood with head cocked, confused. "In the wall?"

"Yes, in the wall."

"Not a secret passage? Stede's got a bunch of them in here," Ed said, and turned to the one mirror he'd left in the room. The kohl he'd smeared on for the day was still bothering him, running in the heat and looking nothing like how he'd wanted it.

"Wait, he has what?" Lucius asked. "Oh for fuck's sake, and I'm here trying not to impale myself on anything in the actual fucking wall-"

"I'll get you out," Ed interrupted.

"What, so you can kill me again?"

Ed shook his head, and walked to the delicate ceramic bowl, one of the few things of Stede's that he'd kept, that served as his make-up remover from day to day. Izzy kept it filled with water, clean towels by it, and if asked would sit and clean the kohl off for him.

Which was always nice, because it never wanted to come off easily. Even now, as he scrubbed at his face, he knew it would leave his skin raw.

"Well?" Lucius asked again.

"No, not to kill you," Ed sighed. "I thought I could slip back into it. It felt easy, at first. I mean, it isn't exactly complicated: blergh, I'm the Kraken, set your eyes upon me and weep or what the fuck ever."

He looked back to the mirror to see if he'd made decent progress. He hadn't.

He scrubbed more. "I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or what-"

"Maybe you don't actually feel as angry as you initially were?" Lucius suggested. "Anger is a big emotion, draining. You can't always keep that going day in and day out. Eventually, it cools and you have to figure out how upset you actually are, and how to address it."

Ed nodded into the kohl-stained towel as he tried to wipe the makeup from his eyes. "I'm still upset with him. Probably will be forever, I think."

"You don't sound like you want to be upset forever."

Tears fell, and his eyes burned from the kohl that had gotten rubbed too close there.

"I don't. I miss him; I just want him back. I don't know if I'll forgive him, but I want the chance. And I'll probably never get it."

"Or, he's somewhere out there maybe trying to find you, to apologize," Lucius suggested. He winced as the nail scratched a line into his back when he could hold his pose no longer.

"Maybe," Ed sighed shakily, and did his best to get the rest of the kohl off his eyes. It was a worse mess now, and he just wanted it off.

"If you get me out of this wall right now, we could start looking for him. I could keep track of everywhere we search, have it written down. But I can't do that here, and I can't get out myself-"

"...Are you stuck in the wall?"

"I am; I am very stuck; there's this nail I'm caught on and it's a whole thing," Lucius said, trying to hide his panic at the nail now seemingly stuck in his back.

"Alright," Ed said, and dropped the towel back by the bowl. "I think we'll have to rip out the shelves, but we'll get you out. I'm gonna go find an axe or something, and if I get too close to you, let me know."

In the wall, Lucius rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, I think you'll know."

"Great! I'll be right back, don't go anywhere!"

Lucius tutted to himself as the sound of Ed's footsteps faded away. "Don't go anywhere, hilarious. That's a joke Stede might have told me; they fucking deserve each other."

"I really hope he doesn't accidentally chop into me getting me out of here."

#text post #ofmd fic #more just a scene but #funnier probably is the part i couldn't make fit of Ed running out and grabbing an axe #running past Izzy with it who's like why do you have an axe?!#only for Ed to cheerfully tell him 'you'll see!' and izzy feeling not too certain he wants to see #might be a kraken level taking out of a hostage but more likely it's going to be rough last minute ship/home improvement #and tbh the latter isn't wrong because u know Ed's gonna make sure the shelves get fixed #he was waiting for one thing or one person to give him an out from the kraken and now he has it #providing lucius doesn't die from an infection from the nail in the wall but he's probably fine

1 note · View note

izzy-b-hands · 2 years

Text

Pirate Party Part Two

Party pirates, partying in a piratey way on a pirate ship! Sugar! So much sugar it's not historically accurate! But why take that joy from these fictional children?

TW for emetophobia, underage smoking even tho I don't think they had those laws back then, but they do for this fic I guess lol

---

"Can I learn?" the little girl, maybe seven years old, with her blonde hair falling in her eyes, looked up to Jim.

"How to throw knives?"

The girl nodded. "It's really cool how you do that."

"Thanks," Jim smiled. "Well...okay, you can't tell your parents though. No throwing knives in front of them."

They knelt down and handed the girl a knife, only for Oluwande to snag it instead.

"Jim!"

"She wants to learn!"

"She's a child!"

"I know!"

"This is a fucking knife!"

"I know that too!"

The girl let out a whimper, and they both broke into apologies.

"I'm sorry," Oluwande said. "Jim just keeps their knives really sharp, and I didn't want you to get hurt."

The girl nodded thoughtfully. "Could I learn with less sharp ones?"

"Actually, then if you get cut it's gonna hurt way worse," Jim said.

Oluwande gave them a look.

"It's true!"

"Can I learn how to fish?" The girl asked.

They both let out relieved sighs.

"Absolutely," Oluwande said. "Wait until you see all the weird fish there are..."

From the corner, Izzy listened until they were too far away to hear. This, to him, was maximum, peak, bullshit. There were so many children, and they were everywhere all at once, and sticky! They hadn't even been fed yet, and they were somehow already sticky. It was ridiculous!

Luckily there were a few older kids who had gotten his hints to keep the kids away from him, and they all redirected any of the younger ones if they so much as looked at him.

Except for one.

"Parties are stupid," the boy slouched by him against the wooden wall, and rolled his eyes. "Fucking kid shit."

Izzy bit back a smile. The boy was maybe sixteen, give or take a year or two. "Yeah, I hear ya. I'm not up for all this shit either."

"Like, who even has birthday parties anymore, that's so immature," the boy scoffed, and Izzy faked a cough to stop himself from bursting out laughing. "Like, be original, do something cool."

He was dying, the kid reminded him so much of himself and Ed at that age. It was horrible and funny, but also wild that the kid was clearly trying to impress him.

"What would you have done?" Izzy asked. "Pirate ship isn't cool enough?"

"Okay, so, the locale is actually cool," the kid replied. "But the activities are like...dancing to kid songs? And cake? And whatever that one guy with the seagull is doing?"

Izzy peered out and could just see Mr. Buttons doing what looked like a magic routine with a seagull for some of the kids.

"You don't wanna keep seagull guy?" Izzy joked.

The kid laughed. "Well. I guess he could stay."

Izzy nodded. "Mom made you come to watch a sibling?"

"How'd you know?"

"Just a guess," Izzy said. "You'd rather be doing stuff you think is fun."

"Yeah," the kid said. "Trenton, by the way."

"Izzy."

"Like, me and my friends, we like music and hanging out, and smoking stuff," Trenton said.

"Stuff?" Izzy asked.

"We can't get full smokes from anybody, so we all just cut off bits of our parent's and then glue them back together."

He nearly lost it then. It physically hurt not to laugh. Trenton was so earnest, so painfully wanting someone to think he was cool. The feeling took Izzy back into his own memories.

"Nice," he managed to choke out. "Say, why don't I go grab us each a cigar or a pipe or something?"

Trenton's eyes were dinner plates. "For real?"

Izzy shrugged. "I'm not your parent, and this is a party, right? Hell, I first smoked at thirteen, how old are you?"

"Almost fifteen," Trenton replied.

"You need to catch up then!" Izzy crowed. "I'll be right back with some, hang on."

As he went around the corner to the nearest stash of cigars, he ran into Lucius.

"You are not."

"He's at the age where he wants to be rebellious," Izzy sighed. "I had people help me do stupid shit as a kid, and looking back those were the adults I admired most!"

"I'm sorry your childhood was like that, because that sounds excessive and ultimately damaging," Lucius said sharply. "But you can't give him a cigar."

"He'll throw up and not want the rest anyway," Izzy protested. "That's what I did with my first cigar."

"Ew," Lucius grimaced.

"Yeah, me and Ed, one stolen cigar. Ran miles away from town to smoke it," Izzy continued fondly. "Taking a puff, then puking. Giving it to Ed for his turn, and he'd do the same, then give it back to me and-"

"Yeah, that's good, I get it," Lucius interrupted. "I just-"

"Look, I'm not trying to be creepy or a bad influence or whatever," Izzy cut him off. "Honestly, I know how it seems. He just seems miserable, and miserable kids act up. But maybe if he's happy, even if sick, he'll just fuck off and lay around for the rest of the party."

Lucius nodded. "I hate that that's a good point. I pulled a littler one off a rope and he bit me when I said he couldn't be up there."

"What is it with you and getting bit?"

"I don't know," Lucius muttered. "Anyway...fine. One cigar, but after that he goes to sit in his assigned chair and wait for lunch!"

"Thanks Mom," Izzy rolled his eyes and retrieved the cigar, ignoring the pain when Lucius slammed his hand with the metal lid of the stash box.

Back at the wall Trenton looked like he might pass out already just at the sight of the cigar.

"You said you've smoked before, right?" Izzy asked, knowing full well that had been a lie.

"Yeah, but maybe remind me?"

He smiled as he ran through instructions, and watched the kid light up.

"Take it easy, not so much at once," Izzy warned, finally plucking the cigar from his hand.

But Trenton was preoccupied coughing his lungs out, then hurling over the side of the ship to the delight of the nearby seagulls.

"What did you do?" Ed asked, exasperated. The baby on his hip whined at the cigar smoke in her eyes.

"Sorry," Izzy stubbed the cigar out quickly, waving away the smoke. "Sorry for that kiddo, you weren't meant to get any of that."

"Izzy," Ed said. "Seriously, is he okay?"

"First cigar puff, and he took a big one," Izzy laughed.

Ed's face relaxed. "Oh fuck, is that all? Poor thing, but we all do it."

"Part of growing up," Izzy agreed.

"Yeah, but you're too little for that yet," Ed said to the baby, booping her nose. "Not till you're a silly teenager, making bad decisions and having fun."

A knife suddenly went whizzing past them both, nearly nailing Izzy's head. The baby started to cry, and Ed handed her to Izzy as he rushed off shouting for Jim and Oluwande.

Izzy stared at the baby, who stared back at him, both in the way one might examine a particularly disgusting bug.

"So...what the fuck, huh?" Izzy asked her.

She looked around, babbled something lightly, then hiccuped. For a moment, she seemed content, and he thought maybe he didn't mind the little ones as much as he thought.

Then she gulped, hiccuped, and vomited all over his neck and chest, and he had to resist the urge to drop her and run to puke off the side of the ship himself.

#text post #ofmd fic #marc writes #in other news all the pirates are trying and failing to be good authority figures here lmaooo #they're winging it so hard but that bird don't fly

2 notes · View notes