#i am just. HMMMM. she wouldnt even necessarily know that my s/i is me. but ... i think it looks too much like me to deny dhfkdkl
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once again trying to decide if i should show counselor/therapist my selfship art bc she asks to see any art I've made that i want to show her each session fjfkdl ,,,, i probably won't because I'm still terrified of being judged for it but mannnnn that rly has been almost all I've made these past two months ( ╥ω╥ )
#urgggfhhh idk if ppl will judge plus shes a counselor so she's not supposed to judge#but like. u know ? ppl still do fnfkld and i am hypervigilant to any changes in behaviour or body language#so if she acts even a little different in a way i interpret as negative after showing her...#well i think I'd simply have to crawl under my bed and get stuck for a while. for the second time in three years. SBHDJDL#(i thought it'd be safe feeling under there a couple yrs ago bc i used to hide there frequently as a kid. i got stuck. u know how it is.)#(very silly behaviour on my part but I am also a person who has climbed on top of my fridge just to see if i could do it)#(sometimes i just want to see if i can fit into spaces DBJFDKL i also hid in my school locker several times in highschool 😭)#ANYWAYS. turning off oversharing mode dhfjdl#i am just. HMMMM. she wouldnt even necessarily know that my s/i is me. but ... i think it looks too much like me to deny dhfkdkl#OUGH. I'll go to sleep now and then i will have a couple hours in the morning to decide !#i think i probably will not show her but ... maybe that'd be a fun brave choice for me to make in a safe(ish) environment 🤔#SORRY FOR RAMBLING BTW. im weirdly talkative tonight and the one friend i talk to consistently has fallen asleep sbdhfkdl#dandy.cmd
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