#i am aware that the number of books i'm currently reading is ridiculous and yet here i am | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

libraryleopard · 6 months

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November reads

Swimming Through Mountains by Calla James

Body Grammar by Jules Ohman

And Then She Fell by Alicia Elliott

The Night Eaters vol. 1: She Eats the Night by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda

Bad Girls by Camila Sosa Villada

Eyes Bottle Dark with a Mouthful of Flowers by Jake Skeets

House of Slaughter vol. 1: The Butcher’s Mark by James Tynion IV et al

House of Slaughter vol. 2: Scarlet by James Tynion et al

Ballad by Maggie Stiefvater*

They Hate Each Other by Amanda Woody

The Sea Knows My Name by Laura Brooke Robson

The Witch’s Heart by Genevieve Gornichec

Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear by Mosab Abu Toha

Lucha of the Night Forest by Tehlor Kay Mejia

All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung

The Zones of Paradise by Lynn Powell

My Flawless Life by Yvonne Woon

The Twenty-Ninth Year by Hala Alyan

Endpapers by Jennifer Savran Kelly

The Tiny Journalist by Naomi Shihab Nye

The Spirit Glass by Roshani Chokshi

Idlewild by James Frankie Thomas

Above Ground by Clint Smith

Eight Nights of Flirting by Hannah Reynolds

Prophet by Sin Blaché and Helen MacDonald

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

Ten Myths About Israel by Ilan Pappé

As If a Song Could Save You by Betsy Sholl

Biting the Hand: Growing Up Asian in Black and White America by Julia Lee

Cleat Cute by Meryl Wilsner

You Can Be the Last Leaf by Maya Abu Al-Hayyat

The Call-Out by Cat Fitzpatrick

The Art of Scandal by Regina Black

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins

Currently reading

Blood to Poison by Mary Watson

The Mossheart's Promise by Rebecca Mix

Freedom is a Constant Struggle by Angela Davis

The Body's Question by Tracy K. Smith

Rosewater by Liv Little

Night of the Living Rez by Morgan Talty

The Pomegranate Gate by Ariel Kaplan

How We Do It: Black Writers on Craft, Skill, and Practice edited by Jericho Brown

Never Whistle at Night: An Indigenous Dark Fiction Anthology edited by Shane Hawk and Theodore C. Van Alst Jr.

#i am aware that the number of books i'm currently reading is ridiculous and yet here i am #2023 reads #lulu speaks #lulu reads #books

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spacemamaa · 3 years

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hi ate jaleen! i totally agree with everything you said esp the part abt the yt readers. i find it interesting how a lot of ppl have their own understandings abt TFs and i've seen a lot of them talk abt "physical sensations" like you did. i'd wondered myself if the guy i've dealt with in the past was actually a TF. tbh i never experienced the physical sensations you've mentioned but i did very much feel a weird sense of familiarity with him and never in my entire life as an introvert had i ever been that comfortable just being myself with someone as i was immediately with him. other than that, my heart and stomach would hurt so bad whenever i feel anxious abt anything that has to do with him.

i only started learning about spirituality and the term TF after we had a falling-out. we first met at uni when we shared the same class. we didn't have an instant connection bc at the time i was into someone else and we were just group mates for our lab activities so we didn't rlly talk much. it was only after abt a year or so when we shared another few classes (for the 3rd time) that we became friends. i used to hate myself a lot and suffered from anxiety and depression to the point that i would physically hurt myself. he was the first person who taught me how to love myself and introduced me to LOA and all that. basically, he was like the catalyst to my healing journey which only began after we had our first falling-out. it's unbelievable how one night i was just bawling my eyes out and begging for everything to stop hurting—i was so desperate for a change bc i was beyond exhausted from a lot of things + i couldn't bear the physical symptoms i felt when we weren't okay. and then, as if a switch had been flipped, i became a totally, inexpicably, different person just from reading a few lines from a self-help book i discovered that taught abt spirituality. a couple of weeks later, him and i were back to being friends. i decided to stay for a while (even when it hurt) bc i knew he needed someone who understood him but i promised myself that i would leave the second i was certain he didn't need me anymore. my journey to self-love continued, however, it did slow down. when he hurt me again for the last time i could endure, i finally cut him off. i knew we both needed to work on ourselves alone, esp him. he could act like a total dick sometimes lmao but, in the end, he owned up to his crap and understood why i had to go. we genuinely wanted the best for each other.

i honestly stopped caring abt labels a long time ago. i don't think labeling our connection will change how much i already love him unconditionally and beyond i should be allowed to and i know he loves(/d) me too (maybe just not in the same way tho he did tell me he was into me). everything you said abt the signs to look out for resonated with me (except for the physical sensations you mentioned)—the telepathy thing, mirroring, repeating numbers, runner and chaser dynamic (for a short period of time) and all that were there. it wasn't until we had a falling-out for the second time that i was able to focus on myself without any distraction. i'm embracing and becoming more and more of my true self each day and i've faced my childhood traumas/demons/issues and have even learned to forgive myself and others. it's incredible how it's like i transformed into a completely different person from who i was before meeting him and yet somehow i wonder maybe it's all just a coincidence? maybe the reason why i'm getting synchronicities is bc i started attracting them when i became aware of them? i certainly doubt i'd be who i am today if i hadn't met him and i'm curious to know whether a "karmic" partner can trigger spiritual awakening too. despite the ridiculous amt of love i still have for him, i don't exactly like him—at least not the person i left—and i love myself more. i low-key don't like the idea of him being my TF but at the same time if i actually have one and were to meet one in this lifetime, i hope it's already him bc ain't no way i'm going through that much hell again lmao i only want the very best for me bc i know i deserve the world the same way everyone does.

anw thank you sm for answering my prev ask and if you've read all of that!!! 😂 you're one of the few ppl whose opinions i genuinely respect a lot and enjoy listening to. i rlly admire your hard work and i hope you keep doing what you love doing! 🤍🤍🤍

((i'm currently broke so i can only watch your ads on yt as much as i can in return (at least for now) i hope that's okay. 😭😭😭))

Aww!! Thank you so much for supporting me. it is definitely not necessary for you to purchase a reading to support me. Either way I appreciate you for tuning in and even asking these questions. 🤧💘

I forgot say that there are fake TFs, too! Idk if it’s a test run or something, but it definitely is a thing from my experience, so I have become wary of labeling my experiences as such! That’s why I tell people not to get sucked into these things or to obsess.

I wish you luck on your journey and your person. :3 No matter what, it’s a fulfilling experience that is absolutely necessary for growth. ✨

#ask #anon ask

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