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loveisblindfanfiction · 7 years

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Chapter Twenty-Two

I wasn’t quite sure what motivated me to dress the way I did for the SAG awards.

Part of it was because I wanted to shake up my look a little bit. I was always stylish at the events I went to, but if I was being honest, I was a little conservative in my style and it didn’t make sense to be dressing like that when I was famously known for wearing lingerie.

Modes were notoriously known for showing a little bit of skin on the red carpet. So it made sense that I would wear something a little sexier than normal.

But a small part. A part so tiny that I would not admit to anyone wanted to feel wanted. Not just by anyone, I wanted to be wanted by Kit.

If my last encounter with him was anything to go by, I knew I still had feelings for him. I also knew that he had not moved on from me just like I had not moved on from him. Yet every time I saw him, he seemed to be so controlled. He was not affected by my presence like I was affected by his.

So I wanted to test that control. I wanted to look irresistible because I wanted to get a reaction out of him.

I rationalized it with myself that I was simply following Selena’s advice in that I was looking good and showing him how happy I was as a way to stick it to him the way she stuck it to Justin every time she saw him. But I wasn’t feeling that vindictive it was more a test.

If I could look sexy and desirable and he had no reaction to me, it would mean he was truly over me and then I would have no choice but to move on from him. If he wasn’t… well I would cross that bridge when I came to it.

I wore a black Alexander McQueen Embellished Jersey gown with a plunging neckline and a pair of Stella McCartney Black Silk Satin sandals with my Eddie Parker ‘High Maintenance’ clutch.

I looked amazing. Even Paul, who was my date for the night and unquestionably gay commented on how sexy I looked.

Such sentiments were echoed on the red carpet when I stood posing for photos I also received several cat calls and wolf whistles. Not that I didn’t normally receive them but this time they were all a little more insistent. A little louder and a lot more frequent.

During the SAG awards, drink after drink was sent over to me from my admirers of the night. I couldn’t say who won awards that night only that by the time James and myself rolled up to the after party, I was well and truly drunk.

James was also a little worse for wear, though not as bad as me.

We’d barely been inside for five minutes before James dragged me out onto the dance floor because a song by one of his favourite bands was playing; Fifth Harmony’s ‘Worth It’.

‘Uh huh you see me in the spot like, "Ooh I love your style"…’

“You got to clap that’s what they do in the video.” He instructed as we danced.

‘Uh huh show me what you got, 'Cause I don't wanna waste my time…’

“How am I supposed to know that?” I asked as he proceeded to grab my hands and make me clap.

‘Uh huh see me in the spot like, "Ooh I love your style"…’

“Oh right cause your blind.” Giggled James.

I giggled in response, I was blind! It was funny.

‘Uh huh show me what you got, now come and make it worth my while…’

“Now you gotta put your hand over your head and swing it side to side.” He instructed as he grabbed my hand and pulled it above my head.

‘Give it to me, I'm worth it. Baby I'm worth it. Uh huh I'm worth it…’

“This dance is very repetitive.” I observed as we continued to dance.

‘Gimme gimme I'm worth it. Give it to me, I'm worth it…’

“Shut up its Fifth Harmony and they slay.” He replied.

‘Baby I'm worth it. Uh huh I'm worth it…’

I giggled as we continued dancing and James grabbed my hands and swinging them from side to side, “A lot of people are looking at us.” He commented.

“Like who?”

‘Gimme gimme I'm worth it…’

“Kit. He hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night.” He said as the song finished.

“Kit!” I said suddenly delighted, “take me over to him.”

Kit was so uptight and boring sometimes, he’d never dance with me. So I suddenly had the over whelming urge to make him.

“Mr. Harington!” I proclaimed as James steered me over to him by holding me by the shoulders from behind.

“Miss Trinket.” He greeted, “What can I do for you?”

“You!” I said, pointing an accusatory finger at me, “Are going to come dance with me!”

“Am I just?” he asked sounding amused.

“Yes! You are!” I said as I flipped my finger into an outstretched hand as Taylor Swift’s ‘Shake It Off’ began to play, “May I have this dance?” I asked in my best British accented voice.

‘I stay up too late, got nothing in my brain…’

Laughing Kit placed his hand in mine and lead me out onto the dance floor.

‘That's what people say hmm, that's what people say hmm…’

“Wait for me!” called James as he grabbed my other hand and followed us.

‘I go on too many dates, but I can't make 'em stay…’

I could tell we were on the dance floor and I raised both my hands to twirl my respective dance partners.

‘At least that's what people say hmm, that's what people say hmm…’

For a moment I danced with the two of them, swaying from side to side before James hand slipped from mine.

‘But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving…’

Kit pulled me to him, I could tell it was him by the feel of his chest and the way he smelled as he laced our fingers together and wrapped his hand around my waist.

‘It's like I got this music in my body and it's gonna be alright…’

He rocked us from side to side for a moment, dipping our joined hands then pulling them upright and I smiled.

‘'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play…’

Tightening his grip around my waist I felt the floor disappear from under me as Kit lifted me slightly off the ground and spun me around. I laughed gleefully as he placed me back on the ground.

‘And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate…’

Pulling our joined hands above my head, I spun around, still laughing.

‘Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake…’

Then Kit grabbed me and pulled me to him before he dipped me down, his hand supporting my back.

‘I shake it off, I shake it off…’

I laughed as he pulled me back up and began to move our joined hands up and down again in a rocking motion.

‘Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break…’

For someone normally so shy, Kit was really committed to dancing with me. That was so nice. He was so nice. This was such a great song. Was James having as much fun as I was?

‘And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake…’

“Where’s James?” I asked, was he ok?

“I think he went outside.” Replied Kit.

‘Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake…’

“Take me to him?” I asked.

Taking my hand Kit lead me off the dance floor to a door, which I heard swing open and the cool air hit me and I realized we were outside.

‘I shake it off, I shake it off…’

“James?” I asked as I heard the sounds of cars in the distance. Judging by the wind and the elevator ride we had taken to get to the after party, I guessed we were outside on the balcony.

“Here.” Groaned a voice.

I walked in the direction on his voice, stretching my hands out until they encountered the cool railing of the balcony. I slid my hands along it until I found James’s hunched form, leaning over the railing.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” He groaned.

“Over the side of the balcony?” I giggled, “Well do me a favour, aim away from the dress and go for distance.” I laughed.

I heard Kit chuckle behind me. I’d completely forgotten he was here!

“Hey Kit can you get them to bring our car around, I think we’re done for the night.” I explained.

“Sure.” He said.

I stood with James, rubbing his back soothingly as he groaned and I couldn’t help but laugh. It was just so funny! What exactly that was I couldn’t tell but whatever it was, it was funny.

…

The following morning, I felt like absolute crap.

My head felt as if someone was smashing it with a hammer with every beat of my heart and my stomach was churning. Even my feet, which normally coped well with high heels were aching because of how carelessly I had been walking.

I was hung over. Well and truly hung over and I planned to spend the entire day on the couch chugging coffee and water. I didn’t dare risk food with how sick I was feeling. I just wanted to lay on the couch in my pyjamas all day and wait for the painkillers I had taken to kick in. James was in a similar state and had a similar plan.

“Hey you two, I just found something interesting online.” Proclaimed Paul in what sounded like a far too cheerful voice.

James and myself both groaned in response. He could have found a video that showed proof of life on Mars and I couldn’t have cared less at that point, my head was so sore!

“MTV has done a piece on you and Kit Harington, Gerty.” He said.

I raised my head mildly interested.

Paul cleared his throat before he began to read, “Last night was the SAG Awards and while we are happy for the winners, they are not who are making headlines this morning. Last night model Gertrude Trinket slayed on the carpet in a stylish black number, which earned her an almost unanimously voted best dressed award, it was what occurred at the after party that has everyone talking.”

I winced as I began to contemplate what embarrassing things I had done at the after party that they would be talking about…

“Thanks to the beautiful world of snapchat, MTV captured footage of Miss Trinket busting a couple of moves on the dance floor with none other than Game of Thrones Actor Kit Harington. The two looked as if they were having a blast on the dancefloor together and sources reveal that it was Gerty who asked Kit to dance.” Read Paul.

I had danced with Kit last night? I had vague memories of dancing on the dancefloor but I couldn’t remember who I was with. I thought it had just been James. Why had I danced with Kit? That was unlike me. Things between the two of us were… strange. We definitely weren’t up to the friendly stage where we could dance with each other yet. Why had I done that?

I knew why; I had been drunk.

“But this isn’t the first time these two have encountered each other. MTV has a slide show of what we hope will become the epic love story of Kerty. Or Git. We haven’t decided yet.” He read.

“Oh no. There’s a slide show?” I groaned.

“First picture shows Gerty strutting herself at the Victoria Secret Fashion show and you can see in both times Miss Trinket walked the cat walk, Kit kept a very close eye on her.” He read.

“Hmm, that’s true.” Said James thinking for the first time, “I saw the footage. He doesn’t take his eyes off you the entire time.”

I kept my eyes closed. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with that knowledge. Or how it made me feel.

“Next there is a picture of the two at the Brit Awards. Gerty was originally seated to another Game of Thrones alumni Emilia Clarke when Kit came to speak to Gerty at her table, the two look quite happy to be talking to each other in the picture.” Said Paul.

I kept my eyes closed and tried desperately not to think. It hurt my head and my feelings were all… fuzzy.

“Next is a picture of Sarah Hyland at the Golden Globes. But if you look in the background you can see Kit and Gerty talking to each other at the bar. Gerty’s seeing eye dog (who broke the internet when he made his red carpet debut) is with her. And those famous dark locks could belong no other than Jon Snow.” Read Paul.

Was I feeling so fuzzy because I was confused about my feelings for Kit or because I was hungover?

“Then we have the SAG awards footage. Last night Miss Trinket had many admirers for obvious reasons and apparently she shot down more than one hopeful bachelor hoping to spend some time with the sought after Supermodel. Kit Harington was obviously then envy of every guy in the room when he got to dance with her.” He read, “Is this the start of a beautiful relationship? We hope so.”

“Huh.” Said James and Paul finished reading.

“Now Miss Trinket, what do you have to say about that?” asked Paul, sounding smug.

“My head hurts and I feel sick.” I stated before I slumped back down on the couch.

“Well, you have been seeing Kit and awful lot these days.” Commented James.

“Technically I don’t see anyone.” I said lazily.

James shoved me in response.

“Going to the same event is not the same as seeing each other. I’m not actively seeking him out to spend time with him.” I explained. That was too many words. Words were hurting my head.

“Are you going to see him again?” asked Paul curiously.

“No.” I said snuggling down onto the couch, “I’ve got fashion month coming up. So I’m not planning to go to any other events where he might be.” I explained, this conversation was annoying me for some reason, “And I’m done talking about this.” I announced.

I wasn’t annoyed at them. I was annoyed at myself.

Memories from last night had come flooding back and I remembered dancing with Kit. I remember how light hearted and uncomplicated things had been between us while I was drunk. But mostly I remembered how much fun I had with him.

I didn’t realize how much I had missed him and the good times we had together I had been so focused on the how and why our relationship ended. But now that I was reminded of how much fun the two of us had together, I found myself missing him terribly.

But I wasn’t going to give in to such feelings. It was just because I was hung over and feeling sorry for myself. Nothing more.

Fashion month was starting in a week and I would be far too busy working to think let alone miss him. I wouldn’t be seeing him anytime soon either. Which, I reasoned, was a good thing; it would leave no time to brood on the strange feelings I had towards Kit that I was still struggling to identify.

…

At the start of February, I was reunited with Astrid and Karlie for the first Fashion month of 2017. I was so happy to be with the two of them again after having been so busy since the Victoria Secret Fashion show.

The first week started in New York and nothing much of interest happened, we all worked too hard and looked absolutely beautiful despite our exhaustion. Though towards the end of the week, on Valentine’s Day, something of interest did happen.

Lots of the girls received flowers from their boyfriends.

Along with Astrid I was one of the only single girls modelling in fashion week so I didn’t expect to get anything. That was until a someone approached me, smelling strongly of something floral, “Gertrude Trinket?” asked a voice.

I didn’t open my eyes as my make-up artist continued to pain my face, “Right here!” I called raising my hand.

“These are for you.” He proclaimed.

I heard the rustling of paper as something was placed down on the table in front of me.

“Oh Gerty, someone got you flowers.” Said Astrid next to me.

“What kind of flowers?” I frowned.

“Red and white flowers.” Said Astrid, “You know what they mean?”

“Flowers mean things?”

“Yeah. White roses mean ‘I’m worthy of you’ and red roses mean ‘love’.” She told me.

I’m worthy of you and romance? By that logic, the message was clear, though I wondered if there was an actual card amongst the flowers.

“Hey Stephanie, can you check if there is a card with the flowers?” I asked my make-up artist.

“Yep.” She chirped, as she took her brush away from my face, “There’s no message, it just says ‘from Mr. Christopher Catesby’.” She said.

I blinked in shock at the name. Christopher Catesby. That had been the name Kit told me when we first met. Which, technically wasn’t a lie, I found out later that it was his legal name and that Kit Harington was his stage name.

“Whose Christopher Catesby?” asked Astrid, “Do you know him?”

“I thought I did.” I said, feeling a little dazed.

Kit had sent me flowers. I wasn’t sure what to do with that information. But like the first time, I felt flattered. I’d only ever received flowers two times in my life and they had both been from Kit, out of the blue with no prompting from me, to show that he cared. That he was thinking about me…

“What do you mean you used to? Did something happen?” she asked sounding curious.

“It’s complicated.” I told her.

“Doesn’t sound complicated. The guy sent you flowers on valentine’s day.” Commented Stephanie as she went back to painting my face.

She had a point. The action itself was not complicated. Our past was though.

Thinking about my situation with Kit was already giving me a headache. The flowers clearly had a romantic intention and I was flattered and a little shocked, he still had romantic intentions towards me after all this time? How did that make me feel? How did I feel about him?

That was the million-dollar question; how did I feel about Kit?

Now that I had forgiven him the previous hostility and tension I had harboured towards him was gone. So did that once again mean that he was a viable dating option? I wasn’t sure. I may have forgiven him, but I could not forget our history.

I could not forget how great it had been before it turned bad.

My headache was intensifying as I thought about him. So I simply pushed it to the back of my mind and began to mentally prepare myself for the upcoming fashion show, my photoshoot tomorrow, my interviews tomorrow night, the ad campaigns the day after that…

…

On the seventeenth of February Astrid, Karlie, myself and a bunch of other fashion related people headed to London for fashion week there.

Astrid and myself were lucky enough to be invited to travel in the Chanel Jet by Karl Lagerfield. We were able to get a few precious hours sleep before we were thrust into make-up chairs once more and made ready for a fashion show.

Midway through the week, I really hadn’t had time to think about Kit or my situation with him. I was so tired. Astrid and myself had begun speaking to each other in the form of grunts with different pitches, too tired to speak.

But that night, we were required to dress up and attempt to resemble human life as there was a VIP after party that we had to mingle at. I was wearing a light pink cornelli bralet crop top with a Balmain Lace-up leather mini skirt. All tied together with a pair of metallic Giuseppe Zanotti heels.

The fact that I was so tired meant that I wasn’t really paying attention to who I was talking to. I thought it might have been some photographer who wanted to do a shoot with me, Sarah was doing most of the talking when the man we were talking to suddenly sad something that broke through my wall of tiredness, “Ah Kit, there you are.”

I froze, my entire body tensing as I realized he was near me. I gripped Koko’s lead tightly. The excited feeling that passed through me at knowing he was near took me completely by surprise. I expected to feel the familiar anger and hate that I had been holding onto for the past couple of months, but it never came.

“Hi Wesley.” Replied Kit.

“You know Gerty it was actually Kit here who suggested you for the photoshoot.” Said Wesley conversationally.

What photoshoot? What? Kit had suggested me for a job?

“Did he just?” I asked curiously.

“Yeah. Said he wouldn’t do the shoot without you.” Said Wesley happily.

I narrowed my eyes, Kit had wanted me to do a photoshoot with him? Why?

“Well I think it’s a brilliant opportunity.” Said Sarah, “Calvin Klein is a great brand. We’ve had a partnership with them for a long time.”

Calvin Klein? That was underwear. I’d just been signed up by Sarah to do an underwear shoot with Kit.

That son of a bitch.

I was blind, so I’d never know for sure, but I was willing to be quite a bit of money to state that Kit was grinning smugly.

I would have to do a photoshoot together in our underwear.

Having walked the Victoria Secret catwalk, I was not shy or nervous about being in my underwear around people. I was however nervous about being in my underwear around Kit. Given our history.

The last time we were in our underwear together, we were having sex. My stomach clenched at the thought and my heart jumped up into my throat. If my mind had made the connection, I knew his would and I wasn’t sure how I felt about being in such close proximity to him again whilst near naked.

“Do you two mind if I borrow Gerty for a moment? A friend of mine wants to meet her.” Said Kit smoothly.

“By all means.” Said Sarah happily.

I felt a familiar hand grab my own and lead me through the crowd. I surprised even myself by going with him willingly.

The flowers were one thing, but now he had demanded we do a photoshoot together? What was he playing at? I had forgiven him sure; but did he think that meant that he was in with a chance for us to be together once more?

The fact that I didn’t dismiss that very thought out rightly really answered the question.

“Is there really a friend who wants to see me or did you just want to get me alone?” I asked, I wasn’t sure what to expect at this point.

“Yes there is.” He assured me.

We walked in silence, Kit holding one of my hands, Koko’s lead in the other. My mind was in turmoil and I wasn’t sure how to feel, let alone what to say or do. I was painfully reminded of the last time we had been together, I was drunk and had been dancing with him.

All my inhibitions had been gone. The past didn’t matter; it was just about enjoying each other’s company.

Then I was reminded that our dancing together had not been the last point of contact between us. As if he was reading my mind, Kit spoke, “Did you get my flowers?”

“Yes, I did.” I said carefully, “They were very nice. Thankyou.”

What was it about receiving flowers of him that just made me feel so… special. It was such a thoughtful gesture, made doubly so by the fact that he had sent them to me on valentine’s day. A day where single women were made to feel doubly inconsequential.

A part of me knew I wasn’t supposed to like it. That I wasn’t supposed to feel as flattered as I did, given who they were from. But I could help it, when I had forgiven him, all those malicious feelings had melted away and he was no longer a liar. He went back to simply being Kit.

Kit who had sent me flowers.

“Gerty, this is my friend Richard.” Announced Kit.

“Richard Madden, the guy from Game of Thrones?” I asked curiously.

“That would be me.” Said a Scottish accented voice.

I felt Kit pull my hand forward and place it into the waiting hand of another man, who shook it, “Gerty, it’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.” He told me.

“All bad I’m sure.” I smiled.

“Oh yes, he told me you were absolutely beautiful. Which was a terrible understatement, your gorgeous.” He told me.

“Smooth.” I commented with a smile.

“Alright Richard, stop flirting and ask your question.” Said Kit pointedly.

“Oh no, I’m enjoying the flirting.” I told Kit with a smile, “Tell me, are your eyes as blue as they say?” I asked thinking to the many times James had bemoaned his ‘romance novel stare’.

“Bluer.” He told me.

I laughed. I was enjoying the flirting not because I had any interest in Richard Madden but because I could feel Kit radiating tension from my side out of obvious jealousy.

“Alright enough you two.” Said Kit seeming irritated.

“And how can I help you Mr. Madden?” I asked curiously.

“Do you know the model for the Maybelline mascara add?” he asked be curiously.

I blinked in shock, “What an odd question.”

“Well you see, like myself, the girl in it has the most beautiful eyes and that’s the problem.” He explained.

“It is?”

“Yes. Because I’ve only seen her eyes. I’m dying to know what the rest of her looks like and Kit here thinks you might know who the model might be and can make an introduction.” He explained.

“Awfully presumptuous of Mr. Harington.” I commented.

“It’s an excuse. He just wanted to talk to you.” Said Richard pointedly.

“Thanks Rich.” Said Kit dryly.

I smiled in amusement, “Well it just so happens I do know the model for the 2017 Maybelline campaign.” I answered.

“Great. Do you think you could introduce me to her?” asked Richard.

“Certainly. Last I checked, she was over at the bar.” I replied, “Kit if you could take me over to Astrid Burgess, I’ll make the introductions.”

Kit threaded his arm through mine and led me through the crowd.

“Gerty darling.” Greeted Astrid’s voice, “I see you’ve got company.” She said, sounding surprised when she saw who was on my arm.

“Astrid, this is Kit. The guy I was telling you about.” I said pleasantly.

I felt Kit tense beside me.

“Kit,” said Astrid sounding absolutely delighted, “I’ve heard nothing but terrible things about you.” She said happily, “To what do I owe this displeasure?”

I heard Kit sigh deeply next to me. I was enjoying his uncomfortableness just a little too much and I couldn’t help the grin that had spread across my face, “A friend of Kit wants to meet you.” I said in way of explanation.

It was then I felt Richard step forward from behind me.

“Astrid, this is Richard. Richard this is Astrid.” I said making the introduction.

“Nice to meet you. I hope your nicer than the friends you keep.” Said Astrid, though I could hear the interest in her voice as she beheld Richard.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Said Richard, I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Now tell me Astrid, are his eyes as really as blue as they say?” I asked with a smile.

I could hear the mutual interest in Astrid and Richard’s voice and I wanted to play matchmaker.

“Bluer.” She said after a moment.

“Told you.” Said Richard smugly.

The two then dissolved into conversation. Patting Koko’s head absently, I turned my attention to Kit, knowing the two of them would not be paying any attention to us as they were so focused on each other.

“Awfully nice of you to help your friend out.” I commented lightly, “Almost as nice as you recommending me for a job.”

“Well I don’t know many models and you were the first one that came to mind.” He said lightly.

He wasn’t fooling me. He’d wanted me specifically to model with him and I was beginning to understand why, “I know what you’re doing.”

“What?”

“Your forcing me to spend time with you.” I accused.

“Am I?” he asked innocently, “Why on earth would I do that?”

I narrowed my eyes, he was up to something. I wasn’t sure what but I knew he was planning something.

“You said you’d forgiven me. I thought we could take a step towards being friends again.” He said simply, “Friends work together all the time.”

I thought through the implication of his words before I spoke, realizing something about our previous relationship as I did, “Were we ever just friends?” I asked curiously.

“For a little time we were. Before we got together.” He explained.

“Are you hoping for history to repeat itself?” I guessed.

“I’m just wanting to work with a friend. Nothing more.” He said innocently.

I didn’t believe him. The flowers and him showing up to this event were one thing. But him demanding we work together? That was another.

I couldn’t be sure and I was hesitant to make such an intuitive leap but I thought, maybe, he was trying to win me back.

As if sensing the tone of my thoughts he added, “You look beautiful by the way.”

Oh yes. He was definitely trying to win me back.

That knowledge did strange things to me.

I thought it would strengthen my resolve, make me refuse to fall victim to his charms but instead, I felt his perseverance and whit slowly chipping away at my icy exterior.

It was dangerous for me to be around him. The more time I spent in his company, the more I was reminded of my old feelings for him. I began to fear my feelings that despite my insistence that I was over him, demanded to be heard.

I also feared that history would indeed repeat itself.

#chapters #fanfiction #fanfic #real person fanfiction #love is blind #Kit Harington #mastermind #Richard Madden

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