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kizunarae · 2 months

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a mismatched mess: a fitz and molly essay

In my re-read of ROTE, I am struck again by the profound mismatch between Fitz and Molly. Neither complements the other, and their relationship is fraught with tension and incompatibility. However, what really compels me to write this is what seems to be the prevailing sentiment within the fandom that places the blame squarely on Fitz’s shoulders. I believe that this perspective is an oversimplification and rather unfair to Fitz. The demise of their relationship was not unilaterally caused by Fitz; rather, it was a shared unraveling.

I will be focusing solely on events up to the end of Royal Assassin, avoiding spoilers for subsequent books. I will put it under a read more as it will be long...

I want to disclaimer that while I may appear fairly critical of Molly's behavior, I do not think she did anything particularly wrong and do believe her emotions and reactions are largely justified. It is just precisely because of who she is (and who Fitz is) that I believe they are a bad match. Additionally, I think Fitz's wrongs have been hashed out extensively so I will only briefly touch on points I disagree with and not elaborate overmuch on his failures in their relationship.

I will begin with their first reunion in Royal Assassin. Fitz has just returned to the Keep after being on his deathbed for several months. Each person he encounters barely recognizes him through his wasted and sickly appearance. Fitz, embarrassed by his weakness, pulls a foolish move: he claims to be drunk when a passing serving girl—none other than Molly—crosses his path. His attempt to save face and avoid interaction turns futile. And yet, despite the evidence that Fitz is clearly sickly in appearance, Molly's first reaction is not concern. It is not to hear his side of the story nor to find out how he has been, nor consider anything that he may have gone through. Instead, she is focused only on her own experiences, and her own feelings and thus responds only with pure outrage and begins firing off accusations with misplaced anger.

Without basis, she accuses him of courting her and then abandoning her. I think many take this claim at face value, because "Fitz should have known what he was doing" (as Patience also intoned). However, let's consider the books have established a three-year age gap between Fitz and Molly. Thus, in Assassin's Apprentice, Fitz would have been begun "courting" Molly at around the age of 13-15 while Molly was 16-18. Even without viewing this through a modern lens, this claim feels like a stretch to me. Imagine expecting a young boy, barely schooled in social norms, to understand that strolling through town with a childhood friend equals courtship. No words or actions passed between them that indicated anything more than friendship. I believe Patience's scolding and instructions were fitting and commendable. However, Molly’s internalization of this narrative against Fitz seems misplaced and unfair, given her knowledge of their shared history and relationship.

Then, after he shares his concern for her about what he saw in his dream. She accuses him of purposely scheming and attempting to deceive her; that he must have heard her whole story in the tavern and is just making fun of her. This is again a very unfair characterization for her to place on Fitz; nothing she knows about him should indicate that he would do something like this at her expense.

She has a right to be upset that Fitz kept his true identity from her. But he also had a right to do so. She gave him no grace and despite his apparent weakened state, she did not allow him to give any explanations. Worse, because of how Fitz is, he immediately accepts her view of the situation and berates himself for not realizing the courtship, despite having had no tools of his own to recognize that. This pattern continues throughout their relationship.

And this, in essence, is what makes Fitz and Molly such a toxic pair. She accuses him of things he does not intend or cannot change, and he, like a sponge, absorbs them as truth, eroding his own perspective and identity. And on the other side, I believe Molly deserves someone who will challenge her. Someone to stretch her boundaries, broaden her horizons. A companion who could wholeheartedly dedicate their life to a family and business together in partnership. Because, while not necessarily a flaw, she has blinders on and focuses largely on her personal happiness and fulfillment. She does not want to bother with thinking of the realm, the raiders or the help other families may need. This is a chasm between her and Fitz, whose heart bleeds for his people's misfortune and feels a duty to his station and Kings. Instead of embracing and appreciating Fitz's compassionate heart and will to make the Six Duchies a better place, she frequently berates him and minimizes his feelings by accusing him of only being a mere king's pawn unable to think and choose for himself.

Especially as readers, we know this isn't the whole truth. We’ve witnessed Fitz’s tears for a dead child cradled in his arms, felt the fire of vengeance burning within him against the raiders. Molly has not, and yet, it does not seem she cares to know. To each of Fitz's explanations, she complains and argues. While we only get the taste of a few of these encounters, Fitz comments that it is a frequent topic of contention between them.

Molly wants Fitz to fit into her mold and she wants what makes her happy to be what makes him happy. She longs for the days when Fitz was only Newboy. She says she just doesn't understand the things he tells her, and yet I feel this is the same "not understanding" that Fitz employs with the Fool; in fact, it is very much understood, it is just not what they want to acknowledge as truth. Because Fitz is not Newboy, and because she subconsciously blames Fitz for not being Newboy, she thus does not put in effort to know and accept Fitz for who he is. I do not consider her calling Fitz as Newboy throughout Royal Assassin a simple nickname; to me it speaks of Molly desperately trying to reverse time and put Fitz back in the box she liked him best in.

I think exactly how little Molly knows Fitz is further illustrated by the Nighteyes-as-Fitz scene. It is a weird and, in some ways, humorous scene, but what struck me is how Molly appears to know Fitz so poorly that she did not sense anything amiss about an intimate encounter with a literal wolf in Fitz-clothing.

Returning to Fitz's identity and 'lies' throughout their relationship, I personally do not believe that Fitz owed her the truth of his identity from the beginning. It was a deeply personal matter and I believe it was not wrong for him to keep it private. As a young boy, he felt his status as a bastard was deeply shameful, and it is no wonder he would not share it. In my opinion, he would have a duty to disclose if he had truly begun to court her, however he was never given this chance.

So, did he continue to lie after his identity was revealed to her? I do not believe so. He shares much with her about what he does, and about Verity and King Shrewd. It is not a question to me that he would not be able to disclose every detail of what he knows; his knowledge of his kingdom's affairs and his identity as an assassin are not entirely his secrets to share. There are surely modern equivalents of this as well. It is hardly unusual to be unable to share some portions of one's work with one's partner. However, Molly deems this as unacceptable and unforgiveable, despite her lack of interest in what he does— a further inherent incompatibility in their relationship. Instead of offering understanding and support for the isolation that Fitz must feel for being in such a position with his Kings, she resents him for things he has no real power to change. Keep in mind if he had left the Kings' protection at the time, his life would surely have been threatened as Chivalry's was lost. Molly should be able to understand this, and yet she cannot see past her current unhappiness.

In her time at the Keep, Molly also puts a large amount of pressure on Fitz. She is out of her element, she has had a traumatic experience, she knows no one at court. And so, she often complains to Fitz that he doesn't spend more time with her. In a very unhealthy way, she attempts to force him to be everything for her at the Keep— her only social outlet, her support, her protector. Due to this, her resentment for Fitz and his choices grows with every moment he is not with her, and she spends much of their time together asking him to turn away from who and what he is to start a life together.

In the end, both hold the other up as idealized versions one could never hope to fulfil; Molly wants Fitz without his royalty or passion for his people. Fitz yearns for Molly, stripped of independence, her self-driven, entrepreneurial nature tucked away. In their relationship, they offer only moments of fleeting comfort punctuated by feelings of sadness and blame. They cannot fulfill each other's expectations. Molly is unable to bolster Fitz's confidence in himself and the peace and acceptance he desperately craves remain elusive. And likewise, Fitz cannot offer Molly purpose or allow her the sense of security she desires under which to prosper her business and family.

And so, these two are ill-matched and ill-fated, clinging through each other to the last vestiges of a childhood they wish they did not have to leave behind.

#i do like her as a character #im just am confounded people see it as a true romance #she never really does anything for fitz?#and he only is with her for what she represents to him imo #i also have a lot of feelings about neurodivergence #and everyone just expecting fitz to Know Things #maybe i will write about that another time #i think generally people really cut molly too much slack throughout royal assassin #she was lonely and traumatized and wanted fitz to be her everything #she didn't want to be a servant #she wanted him to go help her start her livelihood again #all very understandable #but not healthy or romantic imo...#kizuna rereads #rote #realm of the elderlings #assassin's apprentice #royal assassin #fitzchivalry farseer #i won't tag this as molly #since it is critical #also be nice to me #i haven't written something like this in a long time #i also have quotes to support my conclusions but i didn't include bc it was unwieldly and unpleasant to read

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just-leave-it · 3 years

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"first read everything that I have already written, then give me a lecture."

Lucky for you, I'm very petty and have the time, so I did just that. Below I'll be posting direct quotes said by you in other responses and will be adding my own reactions in bold next to them, but I hope that's not too confusing for you!

but, hey, I have nothing against the LGB community fun fact: some LGB people (myself included) and trans/non-binary, so I guess they're an exception for you. Also, does this mean you don't support pans and aces? The "+" is there for a reason.

I have no problem with trans ppl or non-binaries as long as they don't advertise themselves. Same energy as homophobes saying "I'm fine with it as long as they don't rub it in my face". So as long as you can ignore it and don't have to validate them?

I have the same conflict with groups of people who believe the earth is flat or with those who throw garbage anywhere other than the trash can. So you're comparing people who believe in equal rights who are backed up by science (if you want I can link you some articles) to people who go against science and people who are generally assholes? Gotta be honest with you, I really don't see the connection.

It was all of you who came to me with insults and complaints, not me to you because you were being transphobic and deserved to be called out for your behavior. You can't say bigoted shit and expect not to receive backlash.

Some people need to feel uncomfortable to shut up or reconsider their beliefs so you admit that you're doing this with the intention of hurting people, correct?

my believes (I'm assuming you meant beliefs) may be transphobic (I don't see anything wrong with that tho) I'm sorry, how many times have trans people been seen in the media being harassed, assaulted and KILLED by transphobes?

Gender is not equal to style or behavior, it is a system of oppression, a social hierarchy, which is the entire fucking reason why people identify as non-binary or genderqueer or genderfluid etc and use they/them pronouns. Because they don't identify as either of the gender binaries because as YOU said, it is a system of oppression.

Arin is female, JD is female, Galen is a whole-ass mereman, Alex is female. Okay but didn't you just say that gender isn't equal to style or behavior? So I'd love to know where you got these from. Also who fucking died and made you the decider of everyone's genders?

why should I give up my beliefs, which, by the way, are logically justified PLEASE show me some receipts that are not some conservative on tiktok or twitter I would LOVE to know how this is logically justified other than "because I said so"

just because YOU are angry, upset and believe in all sorts of nonsense? Angry and upset because you're invalidating people's identities? And nonsense? Once again, I'm more than willing to link you some articles of science proving and validating the existence of trans and non-binary people

In conclusion, you can't say hurtful shit and try to play the victim when people call you out on it. People like you are the main reason why there is so much hate and bigotry in the world. Like I said in my last message to you, it doesn't take that much effort to be a decent fucking human being. I can't wait to see how you respond to this, so I can have the chance to prove you wrong again. I hope your day is as pleasant as you are. :)

you got one thing right: you're dumbass. congrats?

If this is not too impudent on my part, do me one more favor and familiarize yourself with such a thing as "context". sorry, but you mixed the theses and explanations to them in your answer, and also answered them in the wrong order. and that makes some things sound foolishly, indeed.

anyway. do I exclude non-binary/trans ppl from the LGB community? I'm not, but you're not gonna like this. I'm still fairly confident that nbs have sex. so, for example, Arin is lesbian or bi (bc same-sex attraction) and Galen is bi or straight (bc not). well if you're interested: dunno about ases, but respect they wish don't fuck anybody. pans? only if by this they mean that they are monsterfuckers.

gender isn't equal to style or behaviour, gender is a hierarchical system based on biological sex, so it was you who designated the gender of Arin and co., not me, I don't care about all that gender shit. and "logically justified" means supported by arguments that do not contradict each other or the surrounding world. and i have a couple of them:

spare me your links, I am aware of the existence of intersex, "third-gender" and trans ppl and their condition in history. the former are very few and unlucky in the genetic lottery, so it would be low to justify yours positions with them. besides, based on the phenotype, society still imposes on them a female or male line of behavior, i.e. gender anyway. the latter are mainly outsiders who didn't fit strict gender stereotypes and were separated from "normal people" who, unlike the "third sex", played by the rules.

and poor trans people. people with dysphoria, with a psychological illness. you’re probably ready to rush to protect them from me, too? it would be better to protect them from your influence. because non-binaries support gender stereotypes, as do conservatives, which worsen their psychological state, no?

non-binary people understand that society is toxic to women and sometimes men, right? understand that gender is a system of oppression that needs to be destroyed and therefore ... create another gender that only reinforces how women and men should look, what should they be interested in and how should they behave? what? are you doing this on purpose so that all other men and women continue to suffer from stereotypes? after all, what does it look like: a man who wears skirts, paints his nails is non-binary, and a woman who has a short haircut has a muscular body and does not wear a dress is non-binary. sinister plan!

you ask who fucking died. biology is dead. and now me and other people have to remind you of the existence of... dunno, real life? nature? sexual attraction based on gender, i.e. on the genitals? that clothes and behavior have no gender, and if someone says the opposite, then it is necessary to fight with this idiot, and not cowardly run away to create a third gender?

a woman/men is a person with a female/male body and any personality, not any body with a female/male personality. so, yeah, nb are pretty useless thing. and pronouns change nothing. bc no one has a gender from birth, it is imposed based on the sex and it was so for thousands of years before us. and will be after us if nb and trans ignore biology and continue to carve out new genders according to old stereotypes.

it really doesn't take a lot of effort to be a decent human being, you just need to turn off your brains and agree with everything you are told to. yeaah.

oh, another thing. if I bump into a non-binary character that is not human, then I don't have a problem with their pronouns and I don't care about their biology. for example, Double Trouble from She-ra.

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