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#i REALLY hate the urban spraw suburbs
soldier-poet-king · 11 months
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On the one hand I need to move out or go fully insane, on the other hand my family is like the only social contact I get and maybe the urban loneliness will ultimately kill me faster than putting up with their bullshit
#franposting#anyway. had a metldown. looked at apts for 1 hr. did nothing#sorry work. i promise i will get this done before the due date#also like. is the possibility of saving my brain worth all that money#its not even a guarantee it might tank the brain worse who knows#and maybe ill hate it and be afraid#i dont LOVE the big city i like having things nearby thi#i REALLY hate the urban spraw suburbs#that arent even gentrified bougie burbs#it's poor immigrants like my fam and endless strip malls and inaccessible transit#god. im just. fuck. it rlly is just. not great lately#and im unsure what to do#if i move out. i could get a cat#but devon rex is gonna be a couple k$#bc im apparently too allergic for shelter mutt breeds#but also. a cat would probably make me not want to kms. maybe#ughhhh i still dont even have my nee contract so idek how much money ill be making#so im just assuming rn that my pay doesnt increase at all#even tho depending on the position and given my expertise i could be making 10-15k more#which is like. lets put rent at around 2k/month. which is insane ik but thats the LOW end in the city#and extra 10k is nearly half the yearly rent (not counting taxes)#what i ACTUALLY need is routine and extra curriculars and getting out regularly#which is near impossible where i live w/out a car#and im already spending 2.5hrs+ daily commuting on transit#im not gonna add EXTRA HOURS to commute time#BC it rlly does take nearly an hour to get ANYWHERE on transit from my parents#and thats being CONSERVATIVE. usually its longer
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