#how am i supposed to read this other than an affair lmfao and then he says ''go on'' and sends greg off away like a little pet | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

danfanciesphil · 7 years

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omg i missed prompts evening IF U STILL WANT ONE THEN i am dying for a dan pov version of his bday when phil is flirting with adam and then cat turns up and then phil falling asleep beside him thank

true fame is when u get anons requesting fanfiction of your own fanfic lmfao

BLESS YOU AND ALL OF YOUR WORLDLY POSSESSIONS FOR THIS PROMPT ILYSM

Context: For this to make any sense you need to have read chapter 5 of my fic Birthday Sex

Got a prompt for me? Click here! (Please be aware that due to an abundance of prompts, your prompt may take a few days to complete - but thank you all for submitting so far!)

This is the worst one yet.

Their birthdays, whilst exciting, are typically turbulent in nature nowadays. Dan can never quite predict what will happen each time, or how bad the aftermath will be.

He swallows, one hand still clasped in between both of Phil’s, their heads on the same pillow.

This is, by far, the worst it’s been since they began this whole mad affair, and it isn’t even morning yet. The fallout of this birthday - Dan’s 22nd - is likely to be catastrophic. No pun intended.

He shuts his eyes against this thought, not wanting to think about the girl lying on the other side of this wall, oblivious and sound asleep. Ignorant of the terrible thing Dan has just done.

It started out okay, this time. Phil’s twenty-sixth back in January had aged them both in a way their accumulating birthdays have failed to do thus far. Phil had been so angry. Dan had been so stupid, so blind, to think that he wouldn’t be.

But they’d apologised and moved on, trying to forget the whole thing, and Dan had foolishly believed that this time, it would be better. That it would be a happier event. They have their safeword now, and their rules have expanded.

What could go wrong?

It turns out, a lot can go wrong, and rather quickly. It just seemed to spiral out of control. Dan had kicked off the party with high spirits, laughing and joking about with his close friends.

He’d forgotten about the monster inside of him. He hasn’t seen it in a while, after all. It had hidden itself deep in the cavern of Dan’s insecurity a few years back, keeping quiet whilst Dan insisted he didn’t care about Phil, about romance, about anything.

Honestly, Dan thought the monster may have died of starvation. He wasn’t exactly keeping it well-fed. Besides, it never showed its face when guys flirted with Cat, which they did - do - often. Dan just doesn’t care. She’d never do anything with anyone else anyway, he knows, but it’s not even really about that.

He just doesn’t mind it the way he used to.

The monster doesn’t bother him in situations involving her. Not like it used to do, when people would try and steal Phil’s attention.

He should’ve known. He should’ve forseen it. He should have realised that the jealousy-monster wasn’t dead. It was dormant. And it was starving.

It doesn’t make sense, even to him, that he hung Adam of all people out to dry.

Adam was here, staying in this flat, for three months last autumn, and the idea of him eyeing up Phil barely even crossed Dan’s mind.

Well... perhaps the thought may have struck him occasionally. Usually when he watched the two of them talk like old friends, the way they are perfectly entitled to do - because they are old friends.

Phil shifts in his slumber, sighing. Dan holds his breath, praying Phil doesn’t wake up again. He can still see the tear tracks on Phil’s cheeks, illuminated by the light of the moon streaming in through the window.

Poor Adam, Dan thinks, guilt washing over his body. He didn’t have a clue what he was getting himself into tonight. None of it was deserved. It’s Dan who has created this horror show. He and Phil, really. Nobody else should be forced to be a part of it.

That’s not even the worst part, though.

Sure, Phil had been angry about the Adam thing. Of course he was. It was absurd, wild, crazy behaviour that Dan exhibited tonight. He could even see how insane it was as he was doing it. He could feel the monster choking him with its long claws, coiling itself around each of his limbs, wrapping itself around his tongue until it walked for him, spoke for him, shouted for him, acted for him.

Dan - the sane, intelligent Dan - was locked at the back of his mind, hammering on the bars of the cage in which the monster had sealed him, pleading with it to stop, to be rational, to just think.

But despite all of this, Phil had been prepared to forgive him. Dan had said terrible things to him all night long. He’d accused Phil of actively attempting to hurt him. He’d blamed Phil for the arguing, for the pain, for all the negative emotions attached to their broken relationship, and he’d taken it all without complaint.

After Dan had said those unspeakable, unfair things to Adam, Phil had walked right into his room, as calm as ever, and told him it was all okay. Dan had screamed and hit him, he’d wanted to choke Phil for dangling Adam in front of him so cruelly, despite the hypocrisy of it.

And Phil had just kissed him, gentle and slow.

It had been torturous, because it was so, so exactly what Dan needed. How could he possibly have known? How can he be so in tune with Dan’s emotions that he sees right through the barricades, straight into Dan’s soul?

In a more perfect world - maybe a world where Dan’s karmic retribution was a little more positive - the night might have ended here. He and Phil might have made love, passionately, desperately, indulging in one another the way they’re supposed to on these nights, releasing their pent-up angst into each other’s bodies, until they get the opportunity to do it again in six months time.

And then Cat arrived.

If you asked Dan what heartbreak looked like, he’d say the look on Phil’s face when he said goodnight earlier. The way his eyes dragged over the sight of Dan’s arm draped across her shoulder. The clench of his fist as he walked out the door, struggling to keep himself together until he was alone.

He can’t imagine anything crueller than what he’s done to Phil this evening. He is a wicked, selfish brat. He loathes himself for it. He hates every cell of his stupid, weak body for being so predictably terrible.

And he knows, he knows, that he’ll do it again.

He’ll keep doing it until Phil can’t anymore. Until he’s too broken apart to fix himself. Dan will take and take and take, because giving is much too hard. He doesn’t know how anymore. There are massive, gaping holes inside of him, stretching across the islands of what little emotion he has left.

Phil has so much warmth. He fills Dan’s gaps. He smooths Dan’s edges. He makes him feel whole.

Dan felt it tonight, as Phil slipped inside of him. He felt it as Phil poured the love over him, warm and thick, like magma, crawling under Dan’s skin and flooding his empty, cavernous body.

Phil cried, but that’s nothing new. Dan cried too, but later. After Phil fell asleep.

He’s going to have to leave this bed soon, Dan thinks, despising his own thoughts. Cat might be a little ditzy, but she’s not completely stupid. She’ll notice if he’s not there, beside her, when the sun finally emerges over the horizon, putting this day to rest at last.

Dan pulls his hand from Phil’s gently, eyes fixed on him, watching for any tremor of movement. Nothing comes, luckily. He swallows, looking down at his palm, reddened from where Phil has clasped it so tightly.

He slips out of the bed, forcing himself not to look back.

Cat is asleep, thankfully, when he crawls in beside her. He’s naked, of course, still, but he can pretend it was intentional. He’ll have sex with her tomorrow, in the morning, as she wakes, and then she won’t see anything amiss.

Phil will wake up alone, next door, when this happens. The walls are thin, and there’s no way Cat will know to be quiet unless Dan tells her. The indent of Dan’s head will still be pressed into Phil’s pillow as he moves over Cat’s body right next door.

Phil will roll away from it, from the smell of Dan still lingering in the sheets. He will stare out of his window, watching the morning glimmer into existence.

And he will listen, Dan knows.

#birthday sex #deleted scene #dans pov!#BLESS U ANON I ACTUALLY LOVE U #hope u like it!#prompts #angst #anon #ellen answers

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