#hoo..m i needa sit down... i dont feel so good /hj | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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People actually valuing the things I do is so shocking and heart warming to me. Like I guess my only "skills" (listen I don't have the self esteem to call them skills whole heartedly yet) are things that are often abstract and awkward to put into words. Like I can... talk to.... people? But also I really care and I try to bring as much insight and understanding as I can to a conversation. Sometimes I can be confusing or pedantic because autism but yknow other than that. People have really been vocal about telling me how much they appreciate that about me and its just so strange to me. I can't believe I can be valued for something that I do naturally.

#oh. oh... that last line makin me have some self reflective thoughts now #hoo..m i needa sit down... i dont feel so good /hj #this is making me wonder how my autism and adhd has maybe effected my self worth waaay more than i recognizes #im being valued now for my natural strengths.#and of course that feels weird to me because i thought that this was supposed to be hard #because people have demanded things of me that DONT come naturally to me as if they did for so so long #oh. huh okay. *holding back tears*#i thought being valued and worthy meant so much effort and work- and while i do still believe theres an unhealthy emphasis on this #in our society- i also realize that many of these things come naturally to allistic people #well probably at least... i dont naturally value the same things allistic people do either evidently. so j cant say for sure #but i know societal acceptance is often important and if you cant fit in youre seen as a 'project' at best :/#like yknow. the person who a couple people hang with but only as a charity effort. like theyre evangelising to me #except the religion is society and they cant give me a copy of the bible for that

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