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ginevrafangirl · 1 year

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Love Between Fairy and Devil Commentary Part 2

More highlights from my reactions to this drama, episodes 13-24.

Part 1 | Part 3

SPOILERS ahead!

oh no emo boy is staging a coup // also the actor for emo boy really has peak younger sibling face

his expression is EXTREMELYY badass rn // though you still need to redeem yourself after that unneeded kissing of girlie

omg i think batman actually cares about his friend, he just laid his head down ectremely gently

does batman love his bestie enough to transfer his cultivation? // omg he DOES

i LOVE me some depth to my villains

oh jin guangshan is the god of thunder and lightning! its always the king of the gods that has that power!! the parallels to greek and indian mythology!

oh dragon boy, you were so close yet so far // i love these loyal sweet slightly naive yet super powerful and badass right hand men of the male lead // dragon boy, welcome to the club that consists of wen ning, zhong li, chuanyu, and someone from eternal love i am most certainly forgetting (mdzs/cql, who rules the world, eternal love references)

OMG HE MADE THE FLOWER PETALS FALL

lol people wrote smut about them // i meannnn its basically celebrity real person fic

sauron: i wanted to see you // girlie: see ME?? // sauron: i wanted to see you FIX THE BOOK

boy the moment you feel ANYTHING sweet for her you double down on being a dick

lesbian shopkeeper is a hustler and has STREET SMARTS

okay i suppose i gotta cut dragon boy some slack, he is indeed a literal dragon and doesnt understand human customs

jieli is the human 'are we dating' buzzfeed quiz

sauron: its EMOTION time baby

this is the game of thrones lesbian 'teaching you how to make love to our chief' scene

girlie is actually twirling her hair ornaments around her fingers

tragic misunderstanding brothers, my jammm

sauron: i have no emotions. thus i dont love you // girlie: i am so happy that means you dont hate me // like GIRL

i love when this show does comedy man, its so funny

i mean she is literally TAKING EDIBLES

is her hair jewellery getting more and more elaborate??

honestly batman could be honest about his true plan and i think iceman would understand

batman is growing on me as well. his motivations are kinda dark lwj, actual dean winchester vibes // and he actually cares about iceman. fucking yu wuyuan WISHES he had this kinda dimensions (mdzs/cql, supernatural, who rules the world references)

jin guangshan is the true villain of this show, just like hes the only true villain in mdzs

the love triangle i do not love, but its funny that in any other show iceman and girlie would 100% be the main leads, i mean their backstory set that up PERFECTLY

god is speaking to ice god // oh its jin guangshan speaking from the sky

damn man must not even be able to jerk off without big brother watching

dragon boy: you're also an orphan? // sir there are a lot of orphans in this world

dragon boy you want to be trustworthy and honest and you're working for THE LITERAL DEVIL

catwoman has a WHIP!? of CHAINS? thats BADASS

she fixed it??? since when did she magically gain THAT ability

its really interesting how physical objects enter illusions and dreams // by that i mean the fucking golden leaf

'how dare you come for my people' cue ROCK GUITAR SOLO

sir you already broke the couldron once, aint batman just gonna glue it back together again?

they sure sacrifice the plot effects of the one heart curse in favor of romance quite a bit

evil god??? there is a god named evil god??

i think girlie has grown proper fond of sauron // she is acting so 'oppaaaa' aegyo-y to him rn

who tf sleeps with their arms crossed, sauron, you can be such a pouty child sometimes

i am glad they showed the effect on all the soldiers and families that die in meaningless battles

soooo since she looks like an old woman, i guess in this universe immortals do age, just really really slowly

cue the 'why are you running meme' except its sauron being chased by an emotion

oh his emotions are growing! its cause she is the goddess of xiyun that can cure anything (oop)

i think daddy was losing the war and got desperate and traumatized his kids

she is wearing more jewellery! symbolism of her falling more in love and growing more comfortable by his side?

sauron: oh NO i am feeling an EMOTION

the founder of the moon tribe is lady yan, aka princess yue heheeh (atla reference)

jieli, honey, why did you have to make things so hard for yourself and try to steal

jieli stealing makes no sense, she is a smart woman, she wouldnt take that kinda risk

so sauron here is incredibly op and the big struggle he has to overcome is dealing with his own emotions

this is a very thinly veiled metaphor for men being fucked up and emotionally repressed and the women in their lives having the responsibility (even if taken willingly) to fix the emotions

langhua is THE 'i can fix him' girlie now that she cares about him

girlie always finds her backbone whenever it comes to a man smh

i think girlie and lesbian shopkeeper should date, dragon boy and sauron should date, girlie and sauron should date, and just be a fun polyamourous quartet

daddy is a qi deviated nie mingjue (mdzs/cql reference)

if the book is burnt to ashes, how are you gonna find a random pile of ashes? how do you know its the book? // someone very conveniently collected the ashes and put them back in the original box and put the box in the throne

if the final step to the ritual is patricide, how will he successfully complete the ritual this time?

bro just became ghost rider

also why was there a throne in the bedroom of daddy?

difference between daddy and sauron and the nie bros is that nhs always knew his brother loved him very much (mdzs/cql reference)

she is INSANE to willingly jump into a whirlpool to go to the afterlife to ask a very scary demon lord if he loved his son // girlie is one dedicated pr agent

she is just supermanning through this water // and he is ironmanning through it

if the guqin was repaired by magic, why can you see the cracks?

its a tragedy innit

oh why do i get the feeling he is gonna have to kill her to win some kinda battle and control hellfire again

this dad is the exact opposite of elio's dad in cmbyn

they are practically shoving the cinematic parallels in my face

also there was absolutely NO need to get shirtless lmao he just wanted to show off

give him a hug, girlie // YES // wow // that must be his first hug since his nanny // fuck the patriarchy for not letting men hug each other

sauron with his hair down is a LOOK

emo boy wanted to spend time with his gegeee

she has huge asian mom energy by bribing him with food

i'm not sure if he still wants to take over the fairy tribe or not, this could be a potential conflict in the future

is girlie STILL in denial about her liking him? boy you like the IDEA of ice man but the actual sauron. stop lying to yourself

LMAO he's like i will kill everyone for you so you can go back homee

ice god is suffering from a sad case of second lead syndrome

wow security at the tower is BAD if she was able to sneak him out so easily

dont you dare follow him danyin // NO // do NOT // oh fuck me // ofcourse she did

i wanted some fun mortal shenanigans, not this angst

girlie there are only a few people in shuiyuntian that are worth leaving a powerful man who you've got in the palm of your hands

i think its so funny the mortal realm is called yunmeng lake

dragon boy and lesbian shopkeeper are slick wit it

so the show is shipping my bisexual icons the shopkeeper and dragon boy?? i can fuck with that

oh wow the girlies are gaslighting and manipulating love that for them

you mean to tell me a mansion of this size was simply up for sale???

being a brothel entertainer is probably what being an idol was like

DID BISEXUAL SHOPKEEPER JUST EAT A RAW BHINDI (a bhindi is a ladysfinger vegetable)

the voice actor is giving the ice mans dad so much more oomph than the actor

oh god mortal ice man is gonna fall for fake mortal girlie

sauron: what is this strange illness that has befallen me // dragon boy: idk man but i have it too // me: WUV

daddy again? i thought we were done with this arc // but i guess you cant heal from trauma that easily

that moon is huge, at this size it would most definitely flood the earth

i wonder whether lady si ming will make an appearance in this story

motral jack frost was BORN with the jade??? did it also come out of his mortal moms fanny??

NAURRR I DONT WANT HER BELOVED TO BE SAURONNN

sauron: jealousy jealousyy

jack frost, being the true artist that he is, getting creative in the middle of the night

the way you can tell that girlie is well and truly over jack frost is that she seems excited about his match with lady war

and that kids, is what you call a self fulfilling prophecy

this is a whole grown ass man, and theyre making him go back to school??

JACK FROST CALLED SAURON HIS ZHIJI??? // proof that polyamory is always the answer

finally!! the batman and lady war backstory i have been waiting for

honestly i am all for destroying shuiyuntian, i have no reason to side with the so called heroes of this show

what is it with disciples that are unhealthily attached to their masters and are willing to go to literally any lengths to revive them after dying // the sam and dean style of unhealthy attachement (eternal love, supernatural references)

human jack frost is such a simp

how is it ep 23 and there still hasnt been a love confession

so sauron is a makeup artist too?? // the james charles of ugly makeup??

i love when incredibly powerful men are vain bitches

they are beneficial conqueror vs peace loving hippie couple

jack frost is a playboy but he will never steal another mans love. it doesnt matter if the woman says no, the only barrier in his road is another man laying claim

siblings or dating: cdrama edition

pissy and bitchy dongfang qingcang IS SO FUNNY I AM DYINGG

dont just tell me that catwoman killed everyone, SHOW ME // i wanna SEE her go on a murderous rampage

honestly the bisexual power couple's dynamic, jieli and shangque, is suited to my taste. her just bullying him and him liking it

girlie has incest on her mind

"asking for a friend"

omg DANYIN TRANS ICON CONFIRMED

not jieli actually saying 'i am not like other girls'

jieli is a BUSINESSWOMAN she has no time for ROMANCE

girlie is having deja vu

This was it for episodes 13-24! There will definitely be a part 3 for the last 12 episodes.

PS: I alternate between calling changheng ice god and jack frost, and variations, but they are the same person!

#love between fairy and devil #langhua #fairy orchid #dongfang qingcang #ronghao #danyin #changheng #lbfad #lbfad commentary #gf originals #loooooooooooong post

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zombeamik · 6 years

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OKAY SO BIG RANDOM GAMEPLAY SPOILERS ABOUT DELTA RUNE

OKAY SO BIG BIG BIG BIG SPOILERS DOWN BELOW IF YOU HAVENT PLAYED THE GAME AS THIS WAS MY EXPERIENCE SO i did update this as i was playing so please ignore my spelling mistakes and confusion as i am to lazy to go back and fix it lmao enjoy!! :D

man WHAT i has to stare at their names to figur it out but KRIS IS FRISK AND RALSEI IS ASRIEL AND SUSIE IDK WHO SHE IS BUT WHATEVER BUT WHENEVER WE SAVE IT COMES UP AS THE CREATOR AND KRIS IS GONE AND IM LIKE ??????? SO WHEN AM I SHOWINH UP BUT NO OFFENSE I KNOW IM SUPPOSED GO SAVE EVERYONE AND GOAT MOM AND EHATEVER BUT I LIKE GENOCIDE SOZ NOT SOZ i honestly though kris was chara but then i’m like oh shit they have one yellow stripe OH SHIT DOES IT KNOW I PLAYED GENOCIDE LMAO

but man it’s so cool and i’m happy so

EW CROWN MARIO REFRENCE I HATE THIS GAME LMAO

ok was there a way to finish the crown mario button fight without being pacifist ew

i’m sorry i don’t know how to get exp or love or whatever they call it and i am MAD

when you loved clover but you trying to be mean so you had to kill them D: I AM BAD PERSON BC IT WAS THEIR BIRTHDAY UGH

i love magnus and his hammer head ugh he cute

i like lancer BUT DO U REALLY WANT HIM ON MY TEAM HMM

i charged my mind i love lancer he’s just scared and he wants his papa to live and love.

aND HIM AND SUSIES FRIENDSHIO IT IS GREAT I LOVE IT OK

ALSO HUH LOOK AT THAT ATTACK WOW REMINDS ME OF FLOWEY OH WOW IT WORKS LIKE FLOWEYS ATTACK! WAY TO STEAL AN ATTACK FLOWEY (he don’t exist yet i’m guessing as toriel talked about asriel at the start of the game so prequel to when monsters lived above???)

OH NO I AM SAD AGAIN LANCER ISNT HITTING BACK LIKE GOAT MAMA NOOO DO NT HURT HIM SUSIE

susie is like ok we can talk it out with the king and i’m like WHAT NO IM HERE FOR GENOCIDE I AINT DOING NO PACIFIST

even tho i couldn’t kill the button crown dude whatever honestly didn’t know how lmao

excuse me Rouxls Kaard??!?! ur basically a royal mettaton OK BUT WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SPARKLY THI G DOD I MISS IT OR HUH

ugh gross the shop keeper is Rouxls Kaard MAN EW UR PUZZLES SUCK

KING PLS WHAT HAPPENE TO U??? TO THEM HES A HERO TO ME WHAT THE HELL WHY IS IT COMING OUT OF HIS STOMCH IM SO CONFUSED HELP

you’re much stronger than i envisioned PLS don’t use toriels like thanks i am TRYING to do genocide BHT OK

HUH I DID MOT AGREE TO PUT MY WEAPON AWAY

WHERES MY CREATION I WANT TO MURDER STUFF LMAO

wow i suck i just want to kill everybody and not even do a peaceful way whoops lmao

I KNEW IT HOW FUCKING RUDE MR KING I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU BUT NO AND RHEN YOU FO THAT?!

WAIT IM NOT READY TO LEAVE I HAVENT DONE THE THING IN THE FOREST OR GOT THE KEY WAIT

OH MY GOD WHAT ITS FLUFFYBOY IN COLOUR HUHHE CUTE

UH OH DETERMINATION AWLAWYS HAS TO REUIN EVERYHRJ H

okay yes toby i will leave you be but i wanted to look i the computer lab cri

OH ASGORE IS MY DAD YEAH WE BASICALLY CHARA BUT OUT NAME IS KRIS frisk BUT WHAT AWW

EXCUSE ME ASRIEL IS IN COLLEGE?!

omg did asgore die maybe they had a fight again or whatever but excuse me what happened i want to know.

BURGERPANTS WHY ARE TOU WORKING AS A MASCOT A PIZZA PLCE I MISSED TOU BUT UR JOB STILL SUCKS

and undyne and alphys not together???

IT WAS NICE TALKINGBURGER PANTS BUT THERES SO MUCH TO LOOK ATHOPEFULLY YOU CAN GO TO COLLEGE AND BECOME THAT ACTOR ENJOY MAN

UH NTY I LIKE ASGORE AND TORIEL NOT ASGORE AND UNDYNE AND UNDYNE AND BURGER PANTS EW no offense.

IM SO HAPPY TO SEE ALL MY FRIENDS?? I AM CRYING

DAAAAAD WHAT HAPPENED I CAME TO SEE YOU, YOU OWN A FLOWER SHOP?? AW MAN I LOVE YOU

THAT WAS SUCH A CUTE HUG OMG DONT APOLOGIZE DAD I MKSSED U NO WAIT I LOVE HUGS GIVE ME ANOTHER PLS

huh that’s cool instead of souls he has flowers instead pls don’t tell me we gonna run into evil soul flowers in this game thanks.

oh the flowers toriel used for her wedding are probably the ones in the containers i am sad

RED HORNS?! YOU MEAN DEVIL HORNS WHAT WERE TOU THINKING jk lmao

excuse me mum but if you do not put those flowers in the kitchen and you put them in the trash I AM MOVING OUT

oh i just noticed that my side of the room in really empty and now i am sad, asriel what the hell.

UMMMMMM WHAT THE FUCK OH NO I KNEW IT OH MY GOD UM UM THAT IS BAD BUT OK IT IS GOOD CAUSE THAT EHAT I WANTED BUT OH NO

HELLO I KNEW IT WAS YOU

end of first run lol

starts of pacifist run

also so i’ve replayed it as i’m trying to actually do genocide and pacifist instead of neutral, ill figure it out. but the cutscene when they were falling down tbh could have been my eyes but i swear i saw abit of red on uh chara or mikaela or kris or whatever you want to call them. anyways.

so i’m doing pacifist ugh anyways omg?

but i mean WHAT ITS SOCUTE UGH

anyways if ur doing pacifist o honestly think you gotta fight the temptation to kill everything as the evil character man it’s gonna be hard bc goat mama noticed something was wrong and now we ripped our soul out so UH I MEAN YES SOMETHING IS WRONG. CALL 000 PLS

OK SO PACIFIST IS COOL BUT YKNOW

ANYWAYS I AM GETTING MAD ABOUT THIS SECRET BOSS UGH CAN YOU JUST FALL ASLEEP MAN WHAT THE HELL

I WANNA KILL HIM BUT IVE DONE THIS WHOLE THING PACIFIST SO UGHHHH

OK I GIVE UP I CANT FIGURE OUT THE PATTERN CRY I MAY HAVE TO COME BACK TO IT BUT PROBS NOT I MEAN IS THE ARMOUR WORTH IT OR LIKE

anyways time to continue with pacifist story

ah lovely pacifist ending

no my only question is when chapter 2 comes out i’m wondering if that’s gonna be start of the “genocide route” or where you start gaining levels if you want.

OTHERWISE SUPER COOL YA OK

im sorry i thought i was done with this post lol but that ending gets me everytime i’m still wondering where the soul will go or who will take it bc goat mama is probs gonna see it in there. but i honestly wonder why they turned evil like was it because asriel wasn’t there and mum and dad broke up or was it because of susie even tho she was nice like?????? maybe it was because of the king like spooky king not dad king like maybe they noticed that you can’t trust anyone and like i gotta kill them or. UGH I DONT KNOW. TO MANY THINGS.

OH MY GOD WHAT IF WE WKE UP IN CHAPTER 2 AND MIRDER GOAT MAMA LIKE EXCUSE ME NO THANKS WELL I MENA IVE MURDER HER LIKE 7 TIMES BUT THAT WAS WITH MY CONSENT I DONT WANT MY BABY TO MURDER HER

as someone who loves Chara/whatever you name them/frisk/kris but also loves genocide i can’t say anything to justify their actions as i did nothing wrong and they ripped out their soul and got a knife by themselves so uh IT WASNT MY FAULT

ANYWAY THIS WILL BE THE END UNTIL SOMEOME COMES OUT AND TELLS ME THERE IS A WAY TO DO GENOCIDE SO

if ur waiting for a theory it ain’t coming i mean there might be bits in this but like it’s honestly me screaming LMAO

#undertale #deltarune #GOD FINALLY AFTER ONE DAY OF WAITING

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floralkittygambler · 3 years

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Return of The Thing

Sort of. By thing, I mean me. But I love this movie and the meme. Ok, context for this post: - Where I’ve been - Why I left - Whats hip happening - Where I’ve Been:

Long story short, I’ve had real life matters to deal with. Firstly, my entire household contracted COVID. Well, *almost*. We’ve been through constant testing, quarantine zones, and had the ambulance up numerous times. My parents and 2nd oldest sister were hit the hardest. My 3rd oldest sister was positive and asymptomatic. Now something none of us could predict that I would be completely COVID free despite my compromises. Despite that I was in close contact with them all, including the 2nd oldest who contracted it first and accidentally being coughed on a few times lol. I went through the exact same testing and yet nothing. No symptoms. No presence of COVID. And I took no precaution to isolate from my family as I presumed in our small house we’d all get it, so I was more preoccupied with caring for the sick. Ultimately, I’ve either gotten off scott free this time or there’s a chance I may actually either be highly resistant or even immune. Even then, I WILL be having the vaccine as and when my family are eligible. And we all still follow regulations set. I’ve also had other real life obligations, much of it either mundane fixing up my living circumstances to more personal matters. Overall, I have been extremely preoccupied.

A mini update, the stray cat Big has been in our porch a lot more in recent times due to the snow as well as being even more affectionate. And Queefster passed away after a good life and a full tummy. Why I Left:

Aside from COVID, business, and my own health declining, I’ll be blunt. I left because of how disgustingly toxic most fandoms are nowadays, but Hazbin is one of the WORST for it. That includes harassment, death threats, mocking MI and triggering an ED. In fact, I’ve even seen others get rape and death threats. So yes, even if YOU are a decent fan, collectively most of you arent doing any favours. Even some critical blogs seem to be overtly catty in ways no one else seems to pick up on under this ‘look how blunt I am’ look and it’s just... You dont have to be a prick to have your say, to be honest and to disagree with the trending. That’s a few on and off of tumblr, and no one I follow anyways.

In regards to my ‘sensitivities’ - two things: 1) Of course trauma is going to hurt, 2) Im fully aware of kids doing and receiving much of this, which hurts MORE. I have my own lil squids and Im worried of them eventually having to deal with this shit. And no, no one SHOULD have to put up with such rude and poor behaviour. Agree to disagree doesnt live in some people’s realities, but by God harassment and bullying seems ok if YOURE doing it or enticing it. That ISNT ok. Even if it seems like nothing to you it could kill another. I certainly will not take your shit.

On huskerdust I STAND by my words. It’s fucking creepy and there is sexual harassment and obsession. And there are large triggers. I will not go into detail here because Ive done that dance before and I’ll be refining it again. YOU may like it, however it triggers my very real traumas as well as those in my bloodline. Be respectful and keep that shit away from me. And for goodness sake, parents PLEASE dont raise your children to behave as such online. And no, being anon isnt actually fully anonymous. Also to send hate and threats anon is not only traceable but also cowardice. Grow a pair and find a hobby. I avoid my traumas for the most part. I will not allow you to weaponise or diminish my own or others experiences for your fictional based gratification. Likewise, if it becomes canon, I’ll just make an AU where it is not. Simple. You can hate it but Im not your personal circus so go be toxic elsewhere. IF you like HD and follow me, honestly... Youre probably better to unfollow as I am deeply and passionately against it and stolitz, and valvox, and am very vocal on that. Dont mistake my traumas and discomfort as a personal attack - and dont personally attack me over it either. And before anyone claims homophobia, no. This is nothing to do with sexuality. You arent the victim. If you love these pairings with your soul to the point of a ‘stan’, then youre best off unfollowing because I really am too old for extremists and rabid fans more crazed than the infected in REC. Also I never used to hate angel but now... Fans behaviour is abhorrent and hes so over saturated that I honestly really dislike him now. Doesnt mean you have to hate him too, but just bloody respect that angel isnt loved by all, he can be triggering to some as well as toxically enabling [incl. past addicts], a vile homophobic gay stereotype and just overall a lack of knowledge and respect of sex workers as a whole. When you know a lot of the ins and outs and victims, it’s hard to overlook. I respect your triggering ships by avoiding that mess. Respect others. The problem with Viv - and I will elaborate in the future - is that your audience is often a reflection of your work and it’s message/presentation. And most of the fandom Ive met are awful. Honestly, though lonesome I find more comfort keeping distant from fandoms because yall often extremely toxic and petty. Perhaps others have had better experiences than I however Im drawing a line in the sand. For MY sake. I’m annoyed with virtually anyone I sense great potential in that becomes wasted. Im angry at Viv because she can do so much better but is blocking HERSELF. This is from a creative and business mindset. When someone has potential that gets wasted - especially creatively - it burns me. Im just passionate on artistic fields. It doesnt mean I hate them. I hate the waste of full potential.

I’ll state things here people disagree with but encouraging harassment, hate or just being an overall cunt just aint on- It’s like people charade as being this fair being but its all bullshit. Self improve and sod off, I do NOT have time to parent you online.

And obviously there are RL duties I must fulfil. Some in which I will need the publics assistance for if you can spare it. Overall, Im just... Fandoms behaviour generally disgusts me. Disappoints me. We SHOULD be better than this. It’s like listening to bloomin incels rant on fuckin chad or some bullshit pill theory instead of looking to improve themselves too. Honestly... I do mostly acknowledge my own flaws and faults and try to improve each day. It just feels fewer folk see that in themselves and do the same. And that’s coming from an old cunt whos far from fuckin perfect. Also, my fuckin laptop broke so I waited a week for a bloke nearby to fix it. What a fuckin lifesaver, he’s the real mvp!

Also Also, one of you did privately apologise and I appreciate that. I certainly hope we agree to disagree and continue to grow as people on our separate ways. Trust me, I dont forget small acts like this. Even the trauma that caused and the aftermath, please dont think I dont appreciate the apology. However you’re also entitled to know that the forgiveness and healing side may take longer for me due to various factors that occurred - much that few are aware of, including yourself especially. I wish you well and safety.

Hip Happenin Now:

Still busy but slowly visiting. I’ll reply and reblog soon, be patient please. Ive still many things to sort which take priority as well as other things. Im trying to get money n shit for a future and whatnot. Health issues are strong in the blood rn and Im spending extended time with both Big and the other pets to keep up harmony, especially now that Big is accepting slowly that our porch is a welcome shelter for him and he’s free to leave and stay whenever. Trust me, overloaded isnt even the word. Im prepping shit early this year and from now on. Also, my God Ive been dealing with more physical issues as well and had to play doctor. May even need medical interference but holy shit I could never see this coming. Still... It’s... An experience- If you could call it that. Staying more active and healthy. Cat’s nearly clawed my eye out in my sleep (to which I can only presume Billy got too close or hyper) but it’s fortunate placement so Im alright. Most of my body is in pain to the point of absolute normality at this rate. And I plan to make space for a better altar. Future of the Blog:

Errr, it’s my fuckin space so it’s whatever I want really. Ill still have my Viv rants (ie, pros and cons of her work, HH/HB, other shit like that) however I just really dislike most the fandom at this point as well as the poor management and lack of professionalism and attitudes of staff. It’s just draggin me down and making me ill. I also want to showcase more of MY work (from redesigns to projects to some dumb 2am shit), cosplays, fashion, hobbies, spiritual practises - MY. SHIT. I feel like Ive strayed slightly. But I WILL be honest. And damn well will it upset people. And if it does and I’m genuinely ding something wrong/harmful - guide me patiently. Educate me. If it’s like this HD shit where Im not only allowed my opinions but justified on my traumas or mocking my disabilities or features, then just yeet yourself elsewhere. Also some of my gaming shit too. Getting to know folk who interact with my stuff and just... Create my space. For me. Something hopefully others can enjoy. Something that can function as a bit of an art portfolio as well. Critiques and whatnot. But I will continually not stand for anyone’s shit or poor handling of serious matters. You will not cause me to doubt and invalidate my experiences like you have to others. For now, Im tottering but slowly returning. For those who I previously and daily interacted with, I will get back to you. And Im sure you’re patient and understanding of my situation - it’s appreciated. But in terms of any fandom, more so if it’s known to be as hostile, I’d rather keep a healthy boundary between us. That’s for newer folk. Perhaps we may bond further and you’re welcome to try, however I do feel far safer not getting involved into other people’s shit any longer. I will put anon back on but any toxic shit will be reported as well as compiled so at least I have a reference on the actual toxic nature of fandoms. Likewise, Im slowly getting there but god theres a lot of fuckin work. So much that not even my closest friend has heard too much from me until recently. I’ll be returning to the grind for now as I have duties, as well as many demanding felines for my attention. Alongside some physical medical concerns which require additional care, I’ll be popping off now. Im thankful for those who have checked in on me. I will reply shortly. Take care

#im fucking tired #ive hardly had any alcohol lately as well #ive snuck some though but not as much for unwind time sadly #also discovered sourz alcohol and it is wonderful #i made someone laugh until literal pissing themselves though so #im taking bloody pride in that comedy so

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viewofsal · 6 years

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Alrighty. EFF IT- LIFE UPDATE POST!

Soooo a lot of good things have been happening in my life. I know from my posts I sound bitter, sad, heartbroken, blah blah but its been a rough time in my life and I’m finally understanding and accepting my life, my lessons, my blessings, my mistakes and experiences. *Someone told me recently my blog is very raw* but I like to keep it real and what not, plus no one knows me on here lol i have followers from all over the US to international countries as well. Also I feel like I haven’t done an “intro” about myself in a long time.. I think since I’ve started blogging so what the hell…. this is going to be long but hey whatever!

Intro!-

Hey guys! Im Salia Sheikh, 25 (old af, jk!), I look younger than my age (thanks to good genes lol), I am still in school, pursuing a career in Business. I love to read, write (duh I have a blog for a reason!), paint, work out, try new food, BIG FOOD JUNKIE, binge watch amazing shows on Netflix (bae for life), I love the color purple and blue. If school wasnt so damn expensive and I didnt have a timelime (being brown aint fun… sometimes) I would definitely get a degree in business of course, dermatology and psychology. I love learning new things and expanding my mind. I come off as a bitch sometimes to people because of the way my face can be… AKA RESTING BITCH FACE. But honestly its just me observing and understanding how people think and work. I know I am a weirdo but whatever! Humans are so freaking interesting. Oh did I mention I live in PNW!? Seattle. <3 Rain city lol. If I could live anywhere else it would be California, Chicago or New York. Anywho enough about me… lets get into the juicy stuff right?

This summer I had a lot going on! I was at the doctors a lot, i went through a lot exams for my breast cancer and it was a very rough time… but I got through it. Alhumdulillah I have such amazing friends and family to support me and were there for me. Along with that, I went through a very harsh break up and I know that a few posts below this one I went off on my ex FJ, but in this post Im not going to bash on him or anything. Honestly…. my tumblr isnt made to bash on anyone. I wouldnt want to be talked about on the internet but sadly… it happens. So anyways, I went through a rough heart break that honestly I dont blame anyone but myself and because of this heartbreak I am beyond hard on myself with a lot of things but especially guarding my heart, my feelings and letting anyone in. I was told by someone that I wore my heart on my sleeve and that I took this relationship too seriously. Its true, I was madly and crazy in love with him but he wasnt. I would push and force him to make it work but when the other person doesnt see any solution or anything to fix it, you should really just back off Sally. One person cant do all the work, it becomes so draining. I literally have so much love to give but at the same time Im just kind of tired, exhausted, bitter and numb. Its weird because I just said Im full of love but at the same time a heart break really gets you guarded. But you know this was a lesson for myself, to not get ahead of yourself, dont have expectations and if you arent getting what you deserve please walk the fuck away, like ASAP. Just abort lol. Because at the end of the day as hurt as I was, I made myself go through hell because I chose to be like very stupid, LIKE VERY. But at the same time, I take it as a blessing in disguise in many ways and a lesson I would love to teach my daughters and possibly sons. Anywho… along with this I was in school UGH, but because I have a goal and I am so motivated I didnt let it affect my school at all. One thing I did do in the past was let such little things like this get in the way of my focus in school and at the end of the day my dreams and career will be right next to me but the person whos temporary will not be. I will not sacrifice my school for anything. This summer I went to Atlanta with all of my cousins and we had so much fun! And then I came back and attended another wedding. It was a lot of chaos but a lot of fun. I come from a very huge family on both sides, and if youre brown you know three day weddings are HECTIC AS HELL! But I gotta say it was a roller coaster type summer.

Once all of the wedding shenanigans were over and all of my cousins flew back to the East Coast and I started school again. After my break up I really started focusing on my mental health, focusing on school, having a better relationship with my parents (its been a rough road but alhumdulillah I am so blessed with such amazing parents. esp my mom helping me a lot through my break up and all .) I didnt even think about talking to any guys or whatever it was literally not even in my head because I was so focused on myself. But a little birdie out of the blue and into my life for a short time but a sweet time. HA is literally every brown girls dream man. A little white wash (EDM LOVER), knows urdu, deen, open minded, handsome as hell… and family orientated. OH AND TREATS A WOMAN RIGHT! Honestly my first impression was like “fuck boy. STRAIGHT UP F BOY! Cocky, too into himself, thinks hes better than anyone…” OH ALSO- didnt meet him off of dating apps lol, its called IG thats the new hook up spot jk! But when you actually talk to him and stuff omg… he is so different. I dont think I have laughed this much while talking to someone, he is so hilarious. He opened my mind to a lot of things that I didnt know about or he pushed me to see things differently, which I loved. When we started talking I was very upfront and blunt with him. As a brown girl I dont have the freedom to just get up and leave for a guy. Period. He understood that and accepted it. He told me he had no expectations. What I really liked about him was that he would always communicate, he was very honest and he was really respectful. When I say REALLY RESPECTFUL, like super. We were talking about our exes (no I didnt say bad shit lol) and he brought it up and he told me that his ex would everyday for six months since they were together would ask, “when are we getting engaged?” Not once did he say, omg shes bat shit crazy.. or annoying or whatever. He just said that much and he was like “you know I felt pressured and I wanted to explain myself why I broke up with her.” I mean if he wanted too he could made her the victim… but damn. Very kind. Not just that when he came here he was showing me a convo with this girl who was kind of mentally not there, and she would act weird its really hard to explain but he talked to her respectfully and was like “hey listen if you want to make friends you have – “ something along those lines. He was just really nice to her because he knew that something wasnt right with that girl at all. I mean I know a lot of people who would straight up just cuss her out… like without a doubt. I remember one time he asked me over FaceTime, “why are you waiting after you get your degree to get married?” I kind of just ignored it lol. But then one night he was with his cousins and cousin’s wife in DC and he FT’d me and all I heard was a girl yelling, “Who are you talking too!? Who is this bitch!?” And he goes “oh this is bae”, and after she saw me (without make up and my raspy voice at 12am lol) she was like “OMG SHES SO PRETTY and her voice is so cute! Shes such a good girl being at home lol.” Then he goes, “Hani, ask her why she wont get married while being in school?” And she said, “look Im 23, still in CC and Im married, you can too.” I wasnt going to put anyone under the bus and be like “well arent you going to be rolling the dice on me!?” - (because someone said that once to me…) like I said, I dont bash on my ex at all. Even after that, he asked me again lol, “IF we were to get married why wont you get married, transfer your credits and stuff? You can work if you like but even if you dont its okay… just go to school. I gotchu bae.” Im just like “uhh…. wouldnt you want someone who has everything set?” He literally probably wanted to slap me for saying that and he was like “No… what am I here for?” Honestly he was so accepting of me, my past, my dreams, my goals, honestly everything. Even when he came here it was like I knew him from a long time ago, it wasnt causing me to have anxiety or feel scared. We laughed so much, watched so many shows and ate such amazing food. OMG. It was so good to be true, i mean we trusted each other, communication was there. He told me some things that really made me realize wow he is so freaking amazing… His brother doesnt have his AA or degree, his sister in law has her AA but he helps a lot around the house. Hes such a good son and omg, when I say more guys should be like him I MEAN IT. He was suppose to be a police man lol but then he went back to school and took a few classes and became a consultant. He didnt have a stable job until he came back to VA. I mean he was on contract to contract and even jobless for a few months but he was so positive and happy, which is why I loved being around him. Whenever he would FT me, he would be around his cousins and they would always say, “H is so loyal and faithful, family orientated and he will treat you right.” like as if I didnt know that lol. But you know after he left something really unexpected happened and it wasnt in our control to save it. But it was no ones fault either, sometimes life does a plot twist on you when you least expect it but I had accepted the unexpected and like someone wise said (Jatin, this is your shoutout), “you cant compete with history.” It took me a while to understand but I definitely knew that he was always honest, communicated with me and he was amazing. We didnt really need closure but trust me the way we had closure was like I dont even need to talk about this again. Not every situation needs it but sometimes you need it. But you know, this was Gods way of showing me and saying, “Salia… dont lose faith in guys. There are good guys out there.” And you know, there are. But I dont want anyone right now. Im perfectly fine being single. Plus I am already a brat, sassy mc sassy… with me being a little numb sometimes… I think I have a lot to say sometimes and I have a strong personality lol, it would drive someone nuts. But Idk everytime I talk about HA my heart melts just a little because I was treated with so much respect and he would always tell me that I was a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. But sometimes good things dont last forever. I accepted it.

Along with losing him, I chose to cut off a friend who meant the world to me. She was like a little sister and a best friend. After going through so much in just a few months I realized what I want, who I want in my life and what Im going to do about it. I cant handle negativity… like AT ALL. Friends are suppose to support you, be happy for you and be there for you. This friend lol.. she wasnt there for me at all during my break up, i get it YOU DONT LIKE FJ but I need my girl to be there for me.. shit. I felt like she was jealous and trust me I aint hot shit… Im very like normal, pakistani, short girl… living life. But the vibe and the way she started acting about HA was weird. None of my best friends asked me questions like, “Did he kiss you?” like what…. thats not why he flew here for from VA…. But either way she was asking weird questions like, “was it just fun and games”- PAUSE! So I know Im 25, brown girls get the pressure once theyre in their 20s… But I am in no rush to get married and that is not because I dont have a degree- TO HELL WITH THAT. I can burn that shit and I would still be amazing. But like you dont talk to a guy and jump into the marriage topic, wth? HA and I had a very clear understanding that we are going to take baby steps, no telling parents, siblings, whatever… no labels. TAKE IT SLOW. But either way she was just a total bitch. She loves saying, “I told you so.” Either way I had enough of her, her nazar (evil eye) and negativity. Like I dont need that… I need to be around people who support me, love me and dont bash on my ass. I love my circle small and ever since I cut her off of my life, I am doing so much better because I dont have a gun to my head. It wasn’t even over a guy that I ended our friendship… it was because she wasn’t a good friend and she was jealous. She was never truly happy for me about anything. She envied the relationship I have with my mom and would always be like oh your mom was okay with that? Isk just very weird vibes…. I really wish that she changes her way of approach and what not. No guy is going to love a girl who expects so much and no girl is going to be with a friend who is so judgemental as fuck. Period. I never cuss any of my girlfriends out ever. But she really pissed me off and I felt judged and like a hoe. I really dont need that, thanks anyways.

Now that I got that out of my way, like I said earlier… I have been working on myself. I started going to the gym but its been a while because of school and working a ton of hours. But now that I am on break I am going to go back to the gym, start reading my book- EVERYONE MUST READ “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life“- literally eye opening and so funny! It has changed my life. Reading really does help with your knowledge and growing as a person. If anyone knows any good reads, please drop me a message! :) Im also going to start reading the Quran but in English translation because I really want to know what Im reading and what the Quran is saying, I just want to self educate myself and know about my religion, I am not religious at all… but one thing I do want to start doing is praying and being connected with Allah. I think having a spiritual connection is so good for the mind and soul.

As I was turning 25 I was thinking a lot about myself, my past and my future. I am a thinker but I also love testing myself. When I was 23 going to 24 I was a very weak person. I was fragile and sensitive to a lot of things. I didnt have thick skin at all. I will admit that and I was little a push over. I lost myself at the age of 23, I had a stalker who ruined my life. I never had anxiety my whole life… I took everything like it was nothing. But after dealing with that… it made me weak. I wasnt the Salia that everyone knew. But now that Im past it, I went through some tough stuff in 2017… it made me wiser, smarter, grateful and stronger. I dont get affected by anything lately… and I was very hesitant to post this but its my blog, my page and I will do whatever to it. Plus I love to write. I feel like a lot has happened but I have been just writing bits and pieces here and there. But I guess I thought I would write something its been a while. lol.

ALSO- Im flying out to Arizona next week for the weekend and I am so excited! to celebrate and have a vacation and to be not dealing with school for a month! Hell yaaaaaa. *THIS WAS MY FAV LIFE UPDATE IN THIS LONGGGGGG POST*

Okay guys… its 1246am here! Im off to bed. Have fun reading this, judging this, whatever you want :D

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