no you don't get it. i literally love stories where they dive into people's hearts/minds (literally or figuratively) sm it's my favourite type of storytelling.

One of my goals for this year is to read (at my time) my readlist that I've been pushing to the side for years, I will ramble about every manga i finish and try to make a final post expressing my overall opinions. With that being said, I finished Homunculus.

This manga came to me because, despite not being that popular as his peers of the genre, I have seen it throughout being compared side by side with other works as a "masterpiece", that is very depressing and very-many things. Since I can't completely deny my pretentious side, I decided to read it and well, it fell short. If I had to summarize all of Homunculus in a single panel it would be

Nakoshi eating his own semen. All born and end in here.

If I have to bet one thing, the mini fame that this manga earned it comes from the male audience since this story touches deeply on the "modern male loneliness" and well, this story hits the nail on this topic really well. And it frustrates me quite a bit because the concepts that were used and its premise in general are undoubtedly innovative and definitely interesting! they are an easy bait if you are looking for psychological and "deep" mangas. The creativity with which this author illustrates the human psichologycal struggles buried in the individual subconscious in such abstract and creative ways are magnificent, in fact there are whole pages that have helped me in my creative process, so kuddos for that.

As the story reached its last arc, I felt like the author took a few steps back. Some situations flew too convenient for the protagonist to justify... this, but what bothers me most is that everything Nakoshi learned with each homonculi on his own personal journey of self-discovery and with his relationship with Ito and Nanako ended in fucking nothing. That wouldn't be a bother if glimpses of his grown hadn't been shown chapter by chapter, but in the end what had the greatest weight was his obsession with himself, with his own misery locked in the barriers of his ego that keeps him from observate himself. In the end it's like Ito said, Nakoshi believed that he deserved an award for simply being empathetic and giving people their right to be seen and listened, a compensation for being an emotionally competent man in society. It is for this reason that I call homunculus an ode to male loneliness where the ego, envy, demands and lies that capitalism imparts on young men: the least attractive bird is the one who dies alone, where's only room for resentment to grow, an allegory of the invisible man for the unlived easier life, so the only way to get out of your grave is to accept that the world owes you nothing, to stop licking your wounds and let them heal, which Nakoshi seemed to get but never did. And just when I thought that "wow maybe acceptance is the solution" in how he looked so desperately for his first lover to reconcile with his past, everything goes back to zero.

Nakoshi never loved Nanako, he only loved the attention she gave to him, and he abandoned her for other more beautiful yet hollow eyes. Nakoshi is just a clown looking for a circus, but for free and forever empty. I feel very sorry for Nanako, she didn't deserve anything that happened to her, to have trusted- puring her heart out to such a big piece of shit like Nakoshi, he ruined her life. I genuinely cried over her chapters and her past with him, and I totally agreed until the end with her inability to forgive him, until Nakoshi's face turned into a demon in the darkness and his obsession with himself, with his own semen, won him over.

But among the things that made me happy were Ito transitioning, the only character that I genuinely manage to appreciate and respect. I talked about them in another post but to summarize, I deeply hated at first how predatory they were with the sand girl, but in retrospect it it's brilliant how the author managed to illustrate through it their sexual confussion and gender identity crisis mixed with the yearn for their father's acceptance. They're the best character without a doubt.

I would recommend it? If you are looking for inspiration for your work because of it amazing art and concepts? 100%, if you are looking for a compelling pay-off story, no. If you want to eat your own semen waiting to get rewarded for doing the bare minimum, fix that idk.

Maybe some stories are told to end in pathetic tragedies.

homunculus

Manabu Ito moodboard

Homunculus

“am I in heaven…? or hell?”

Been coloring in my Homunculus manga now that the first English Omnibus has been released!!! I preordered it so fast back in like October I think because it’s my favorite manga of all time!!! Please read up on any content warnings before reading it though as it is certainly not a manga for everyone and like a lot of the pieces of media I like, super dark and also depressing

Whenever I'm reading a manga I imagine how the characters are saying things as I'm reading, and of course I have to assign them a voice to do so So here's what I've been imagining for Homunculus;

female hysteria: bad, sexist, outdated 🥱

male hysteria: exciting, sexy, fresh 🤩

Being lonely is giving me a character development arc