I know I don't have to justify my yesterday's breakdown after seeing my mom's ex, but I just want to make it clear how much I hate this man.

When I was ~14 years old one night I heard/witnessed an argument between them so bad, that the next morning I ran away to my sister. Back then she used to live in this small town near mine, but there was no public transport connecting the towns and she doesn't have a driver's license, so she hitchhiked to pick me up, and we walked along the road until someone picked us up. I left a note at home to my mom, saying where I am and that I don't want to come back as long as her partner lives with us. She didn't acknowledge the contents of the note, but she read it. I ignored her texts and calls the whole day, until in the afternoon she texted me that if I don't come back right now to take care of my younger brother (he was ~8 then) I won't be allowed to visit my cousin the entire winter break. So basically she didn't even ask me to come back because she was worried, but because she wanted me to look after my sibling, and she pretty much blackmailed me to come back. And I had to come back that afternoon, but since it was january it was dark already, and really cold, and no one wanted to pick us up for like half the way. The town my sister lived in wasn't too far, it is a walkable distance, but like, we walked for like over two hours in the cold before someone drove us to my town. And mom never acknowledged the whole situation, she was just angry but didn't talk about any of it. So yeah. I think if his presences made me do that I'm absolutely justified in panicking when I see him now.