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skinniberiies · 3 years

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280 calorie Potato and onion soup!

Hello!

Recently I’ve been all about liquid fasts and I been combining diffrent ideas until I got this really tasty soup recipe that I really like! In total the soup has about 1110 calories.

It’s pretty healthy and it’s super good even when reheated, even from frozen. It takes about a hour to cook. I blend mine until smooth so it is liquid (it is super creamy when you blend it all up!), but you can leave it how it is with potato and onion pieces, I just recommend cutting your potatoes larger (about 1/2 inch cubes) if you do.

<>ingredients<>

* 2 tbsp fat/oil of your choice. (Butter is 82 calories for 2 Tbsp, Olive oil is 96)

* 1 large (or 2 small) white onion, thinly sliced into ¼" slices (66 calories for 1 large, 88 calories for two medium)

* 2 large cloves of garlic, crushed (8 calories)

* 5 medium russet potatoes, peeled (720 calories, 144 calories per medium potatoes w/ no skin)

* 4 cups beef broth, or vegetable broth for vegan or vegetarian (13 calories per cup when using a beef bouillon cube)

* 1 tsp sea salt or to taste

* 1 tsp pepper

* 1 sprig fresh rosemary (1/2 teaspoons worth if dried)

* 1 bay leaf (1/2 teaspoons worth if dried)

* Chopped chives for garnish (if desired)

(Most spices have very VERY small amounts of calories so I don’t count them)

<>instructions<>

1. Begin by Caramelizing the onion. Cut off the ends of the onion and then cut it in half. Slice into strips 1/4 of a inch wide. Heat up the pan with your chosen fat. You need to use oil or butter to caramelize the onions or they will stick and burn. It also improves the taste, so do not skip it I promise it is worth it!

2. Add the onions to the heated and greased pan. Cook on medium low for 30-40 minutes, making sure to stir the onions often, about every 5 minutes, to make sure they caramelize evenly, if they stick you can add some water or some of your broth. It will take a while but you want them to be a golden to medium brown, they taste the best like this.

3. While you caramelize the onions, peel and dice your potatoes. Set aside when done. Mince/crush your garlic, and measure out/prepare your herbs.

4. Once your onions are as done as you like, add the garlic and sauté untill fragrant (1-2 minutes, to long and you may burn the garlic)

5. Add your broth (If you prefer a thinner soup use more broth, or stretch it by thinning it with water), add your potatoes, and all of your spices. Bring to a simmer.

6. Cook for 15-20 min, or until the potatoes are done.

7. Let cool slightly. Remove the rosemary sprig and bay leaf when done if you used fresh herbs.

You can leave your soup as is, but If you want a smooth soup, blend it until smooth in a blender and enjoy!

You can get 4-6 servings from this recipe. If you split it into 4 (fairly large) servings it is 278 calories. If you choose 6, only 185. I calculated this from what I made, using butter as my fat, 4 cups of beef broth(bouillon) and one large onion. I don’t count any seasonings or herbs except garlic, because most of them are <5 calories.

Blended:

Not blended:

I definitely recommend trying this at least once! I like to prep it so I can bring it to work with me, because it is nice and filling, especially when blended smooth! Or try making it for your family’s dinner, my family likes to eat it with grilled cheese and bacon bits on top lol

#thiiiinspo #thiinspp #proana #pro ana #not pro just using tags #anna miaa #i want to be skiny #low cal ana #tw: ed

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blogging-phelddagrif · 5 years

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Modern Deck Tech: Green Stompy

[you can see every deck tech here]

Hello & welcome to this weekly deck tech! This week it’s time to talk about modern with a deck that has been present for a while now: Green Stompy. The deck is very budget for the format, especially since it’s mono-coloured so you don’t need to shell out some cash for fetches & shocklands; plus the deck plays very fringe cards that are usually pretty cheap. Like, the deck costs...80$? Which is INCREDIBLY cheap. Granted, this deck is not top tier and you’re not likely to win GPs with it, but for local FNMs & such it’s very fun and somewhat solid, so if you want to get into modern on a budget this is an option. Anyways, lets get right into the beef of the deck.

Little One

Lets start off small; Experiment One is a pretty solid card for 1cmc, it will get bigger over the game as you play bigger & bigger creatures, being able to scale off like that is really good and will often attract a removal spell, which is fine since it only costs 1.

Little Tree

Our other one-drop is Dryad Militant; she might not pack as much punch as the other one but her ability is actually really solid in modern, it can turn off any graveyard based deck, which are rampant right now, so your opponent will have to deal with her before doing anything, which gives you time to play massive creatures so yeah that’s pretty good.

Ghost Boy

A 2/1 haste for 2cmc isn’t all that great, but with the addition on Undying it becomes quite good. Getting a 3/2 when it dies will help apply pressure early on and keep it strong. That’s the goal on the deck, tempo out your opponent with efficient creatures, and Strangleroot Geist does it well.

Counter Boy

This card goes very well with the previous ones we’ve seen. By itself Avatar of the Resolute is not too bad, a 3/2 Reach Trample for 2cmc is nothing to ignore, but possibly being a 4/3 or 5/4 for 2cmc? That’s insane! It’s a really underestimated card in my opinion.

Vanilla Beast

Not much to say here, Kalonian Tusker is just a 3/3 for 2cmc, which is...actually not bad at all. Funny enough, a 3/3 in modern does a lot of work, especially at 2cmc; you’ll get to apply some nice pressure or fend off some attacks with this.

Getting Bigger

Now we’re getting to our big guys; Leatherback Baloth might seem like a decent draft card (which it is) but having a 4/5 for 3cmc, with no abilities, is actually good here. Being a 4/5 lets you block pretty much any creature in modern besides Gurmag Angler & Primeval Titan so I’d call that efficient.

Getting Even Bigger

While it might not block creatures as efficiently, Steel Leaf Champion has quite a punch to it; a 5/4 that can’t be chumped is really good, it gets around tokens and aggro decks very well. This card will need to be dealt with or it’s going to win you the game very fast.

Can’t Get Bigger Than This

Big Mama is joining modern! Ghalta Primal Hunger is massive in this deck and you will only get to cast it for 2cmc, trust me. I’d recommend only playing 2 of these though since it’s legendary and you only need to resolve 1 to win usually.

Surprise Beats

Before Ghalta came along this card was a 4-of, but now people tend to only play 2 of them. Groundbreaker is used for a surprise win usually, getting an extra 6 points of damage out of nowhere can be enough to close off the game, people never see it coming.

Enhancements

A good way to make your early creatures more relevant in the late game is to attach a good ol’ Rancor on them and smash in for some good damage. Giving stuff trample and bringing back Rancor when it dies does a hell of a job!

Tying it All Together

What makes the deck stand its ground is actually Aspect of Hydra; the deck otherwise has some solid creatures and can compete with some decks but is missing a little something, that something is this card. Since all your cards have multiple green in their cost, you can easily get an extra 6 damage for 1cmc (that’s being conservative, I’ve seen people get an extra 12 damage and more in some games) this can steal a game out of the blue, and pretty early at that. Oh also I’ve seen some people play Nylea’s Disciple in the sideboard for some nice lifegain

Lands

The deck just plays a playset of Treetop Village for some extra creatures (a land that is very underrated imo) and the rest is just Forests, though I’ve seen a few decks run a couple of Nykthos Shrine to Nyx.

Wrap-Up

That’s it for this week! I hope you enjoyed this deck tech as much as I did! The deck is super cheap to build, and it really fun to play. If you want to attend some local modern events but don’t want to spend a fortune on a deck I’d recommend giving this a try; you might not win tournaments (though it’s possible) but you will have a good time and should get a decent result with it. If I missed anything please let me know. I’ll see you all next week for a legacy deck tech!

#mtg #magic #magic the gathering #magic: the gathering #deck tech #modern

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the-coconut-asado · 4 years

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Goodbye Veganuary, Hello Prague

Veganuary came and went and I can’t say I mourned its passing. And for those trying to make Febru-dairy a Thing, leave it out and stop crying over spilt milk.

For someone who auto-smells barbecue whenever a cow walks past and has to start the day with two eggs, I do actually love eating plant-based dishes provided they taste delicious. And since watching Game Changers on Netflix, Adam and I have been trying to eat less meat and dairy during the week so we can improve our fitness. I’m not so fussed about the phallus-lengthening properties of celeriac, but each to their own. If you are bewildered by this reference, just watch the programme.

But I must admit, a surfeit of vegetables and a scarcity of sunlight in January did make me think alot about my trip to Prague last summer, with its abundance of sunshine and array of macho meat dishes. I went with my daughter Lara and best friend Sue, bucking the trend of the wave of stag weekends that spill over into the city when Amsterdam fills up. That said, we saw but a handful of stag-celebrants on segways sporting a mix of bravado and embarrassment, and that was about it.

First thing to say about this extraordinarily pretty city - and this may be a nod to its Men Behaving Badly heritage - is that it ain’t PC. A Picture-Post ‘buxom wench’, embonpoint spilling out of her dirndl top, cheers to you from a poster with two flagons in each fist as you walk through the arrivals lounge; two hours later and the first bar we went into was adorned with discarded bras, mounted on the wall in a possible imagined tribute to Carry on Camping.

More agreeably, the next thing to note is that everything in Prague comes ‘with a twist’. You may be happily surprised by the tourist-to-cocktail-bar ratio in the city. You will be even more happily surprised by the quality of cocktails on offer, just don’t expect business as usual. My Negroni came with a ‘twist’ of passion fruit at Bon Vivants, a cosy little bar with an attentive waiter who made you realise where Borat got the inspiration for his accent; the Winter is Coming cocktail in the legendary Hemingway Bar came in a flagon straight off the Games of Thrones ‘set’.

Perhaps the biggest twist of all is that Prague boasts a vineyard in the middle of the city. St Wenceslas Vineyard (Svatováclavská vinice) sits at the foot of Prague Castle, with its restaurant perched on a hillside at a slightly challenging gradient, a vine arboretum sheltering us from the scorching early September sun.

Wines - delicious. Service - offhand verging on the affronted. But as Flambeed Chorizo was featured on the menu, we took the dodgy service in our stride. Properly torched and served with french fries (of course) it was a meaty treat, and went well with the Estate’s highly alcoholic white varietal.

Lara had managed to seek out some intriguing things for us to do and places for us to eat. Pork Knee featured on the menu at Mlejnice, a classy little bistro on the verge of town - succulent as only a fall-of-the-bone, slow cooked cut can be. And if you craved something sweet, a tiny courtyard tucked off the main tourist trail to St Vitus’ Cathedral offered herbal teas and a toothsome slab of carrot cake, meltingly moist and jam-packed with nuts, raisins and spices in a ‘don’t even mention a light sponge’ kind of a way.

Did I say that the biggest twist of the trip was the St Wenceslas Vineyard? Well, I lied. Lara’s top find was, wait for it…. the Beer Spa. Literally a day spa where you sit in a barrel of beer while swigging pilsner straight from the tap, to the strains of a Czech cover of “Better Love Next Time Baby.” Take a look at their website and you are whip-lashed back into a 1970’s soft porn flick, the men all droopy moustaches and bright grins, the women looking like they are having the most fun you can have in a bath of Budvar while waiting for the ‘plumber’.

Here’s how it works: you book a room for two, three or four for an hour. You sit, alone or in pairs, in a barrel filled with warm beer and beer minerals. Two beer taps are only an arm’s reach away, together with two chilled pint glasses. And there you sit for 30 minutes, drinking and giggling. When the timer goes off (classy touch), you disembark, wrap yourself in a towel and recline on a bed of straw for another 30 mins (you’re barking with laughter by now), before dressing and departing. You’ve no reason to feel shamefaced, but somehow you do, and your punishment is that Dr Hook earworm for the rest of the evening. But the beer was damn good and our mood was upbeat.

We stepped out into an early evening bathed in sunlight and, with skin pleasantly smoothed by all those minerals, we headed for a kerb-side Italian restaurant in one of the achingly lovely cobble-stoned squares that make up the Old Town. This Italian trattoria specialised in gluten-free everything, and their bread basket could almost persuade me to leave gluten alone for the rest of my days. Or at least until I next walk past the sourdough counter at Ole and Steen.

If meat and cocktails with a cakey pudding (or puddingly cake) are your thing, then try out my alternative Sex-in-the-city menu. An otherwise Hungarian Beef Gulyas with a now-legendary Prague twist: parsley dumplings and a helping of flavour-bomb smoked paprika ; mop up the juices with a spicy if gluten-full Turmeric and Shallot Soda Bread. Then let that all settle before you cut yourself a slice of a homage to the carrot cake - this time with Butternut Squash and Ginger.

And flame yourself a chorizo while you’re at it.

Beef Gulyas and Dumplings

This is the perfect Saturday night, curl-up- in-front-of-a-good-movie dinner. It cooks in a couple of hours, tastes even better the next day and freezes superbly. Serves 4-6

Ingredients

1 kilo stewing beef, cubed

2 tbsp. Plain flour

2 tbsp. Olive oil

2 tbsp. butter

2 red onions, sliced

2 garlic cloves, chopped finely

1 tbsp. Sweet paprika dn 1 tbsp. Smoked paprika

Handful of fresh lemon thyme leaves, stripped from their stalks

2 tbsp. Tomato paste

½ litre red wine or beer

½ litre beef stock

1 tsp caraway seeds

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper.

For the dumplings:

15g plain flour

1 tsp. Baking powder

30g salted butter

75 ml milk

Generous handful of flat-leafed parsley, roughly chopped

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper.

How to make:

Toss the beef cubes in a bowl with the flour and season generously.

Heat the butter and oil in a large casserole, and when hot, shake the flour off the beef and add the cubes in small batches to the pot, turning them and letting them brown before removing transferring the meat to another bowl before adding the next batch.

When all the meat is browned. Add the onion and garlic to the casserole dish and saute for about 5 minutes, until softened and starting to brown. Add both paprikas, caraway seeds and lemon thyme, then stir before returning the beef to the pan and giving another stir.

Add the wine or beer, the stock and the tomato paste, bring to the boil then reduce the heat to low. Season again then cover and simmer for 11/2 - 2 hours, or until the beef is tender. At this stage you can cool and leave the gulyas overnight, allowing the flavours to steep, or press on with the dumplings.

If you are going to eat this as soon as it is cooked, then start making the dumplings 10 or 15 minutes before the end of your cooking time.

Sift the flour and salt into a bowl and make a well in the centre. Melt the butter in a pan over a low heat, then add it into the well of flour, along with the milk and the chopped parsley. Stir everything together until a dough forms, then divide the dough into 7 or 8 portions and roll each portion into a ball.

Remove the lid from the gulyas, pop the dumplings on top of the beef in a single layer, then cover and simmer for 15 minutes, until the dumplings are cooked through - wobbly yet firm.

Serve with some buttered, braised savoy cabbage and mop up the juices with a slab of Turmeric and shallot Soda Bread (see below)

Turmeric and Shallot Soda Bread

This loaf, based on a recipe by Sarah Cook, looks like a large yellow rock and tastes of crackling fires (almost like the one burning in our Beer Spa cabin). It has a fair bit of turmeric and that’s a good thing. Serves 6-8.

Ingredients:

225g plain flour

225g wholemeal flour

2 tsp. Coriander seeds

2 tsp. Ground turmeric

1 tsp. Bicarbonate of soda

1 tsp kosher salt

25g butter, diced and chilled

75g Jumbo oats

2 shallots, peeled and finely chopped

375ml kefir or buttermilk

How to Make:

Heat the oven to 200C fan or 180C/ Gas 6.

Toast the coriander seeds in a small pan for a couple of minutes until they start to smell aromatic, then crush in a pestle and mortar. Leave to one side.

Mix together all the dry ingredients except the jumbo oats, then rub in the butter until you have a crumbly texture. Add the oats, chopped shallots and coriander seeds.

Pour over the kefir or buttermilk, then cut into the dry mixture with a metal spoon until just mixed, then get your hands in and knead gently until you have a relatively smooth dough (it will be a bit gnarly, but that’s the nature of soda bread).

Form into a ball and pop onto a baking sheet. Cut a wide cross quite deep into the loaf - almost all the way down. This will allow the loaf to fan out into the classic sourdough shape as it cooks.

Pop into the oven and cook for 30-35 minutes, or until the base of the load sounds hollow when tapped. Cool and serve with your Gulyas and lashings of butter.

Butternut Squash and Ginger Bundt Cake

I slavishly subscribe to all known foodie magazines and am forever ripping pages of inspiration out of them. This recipe is based on one from Waitrose Magazine. I tried it out once and couldn’t believe the texture and depth of flavour. It’s now a household regular and to my mind, much more moreish than it’s carrot cousin. 8-10 slices.

Ingredients

200g unsalted butter, softened to room temperature

225g plain flour

300g butternut squash, peeled and diced

2 tsp fresh ginger, grated

50g golden syrup

1 tsp. bicarbonate of soda

11/2 tsp. baking powder

2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1 tsp. Ground ginger

½ tsp. Kosher salt

50g ground almonds

250g dark brown muscovado sugar

2 large eggs, beaten

150ml buttermilk

For the icing:

150g icing sugar

25 ml buttermilk

A generous squeeze lemon juice

Pieces of chopped, crystallized ginger

How to make:

Heat the oven to 170C/ Gas 3, and grease and flour a large bundt tin.

Steam the squash, or boil, for around 15-20 minutes, then mash with the grated fresh ginger and golden syrup.

Sift the flour, bicarbonate of soda, baking powder, spices and salt into a large bowl, then add the ground almonds and mix. In a separate bowl beat the butter and sugar for a few minutes until pale and fluffy.

Add half the beaten egg, mix again, then add the second half of the egg and beat again. Fold in the flour and almond mixture, the mashed squash mixture and the buttermilk until you have a smooth-ish batter.

Pour the batter into the bundt tin, level out and then pop into the oven for 40-45 minutes.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool for 15-20 minutes in the tin, then turn out onto a cooling rack and leave until cool.

To make the icing, whisk the icing sugar, buttermilk and lemon juice (adding more lemon juice as necessary) until smooth. Pour over the cooled cake, and keep scooping up the pools of icing to re - drizzle over the top. Decorate with chopped crystallized ginger.

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rustbolt-answers-your-bullshit · 7 years

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Act 3, Chapter 7: The Gay(?)-est Chapter

“You said this would work.”

“Hey, I’m not a psychic.”

“Just a psycho.” Rustbolt smirked.

Brainstorm chuckled. “Oh, you.”

“So what now?”

“Now we try again.” Brainstorm handed Rustbolt a remote with a small button on it.

“Ugh, fine.” Snatching the remote, he pressed the button. There was a spark, and suddenly, a vortex similar to Brainstorm’s Eureka opened up. Through the portal was the pink meteor. It had loads of zombies on it. And alot of plants, too.

“We did it! We finally found life on Comet Z!”

Rustbolt and Brainstorm hugged each other, hopping in unison and giggling.

*Slap.*

Then, with a slap, Rustbolt opened his eyes to see Solar Flare staring down at him. “You had some weird dreams tonight.”

“What do you mean?”

“They all involved the meteor. The pink one.”

“It’s a comet,” Corrected Rustbolt. “Comet Z, as Brainstorm apparently named it.”

“How do you know what he named it?”

“He told EB, who told Sportacus, who told me.”

SF nodded. “So now what?”

“I don’t know about you, but I have someone to meet.”

“What?”

“Well, not MEET…” Rustbolt rolled his eyes. “I have to talk to Rose with EB. He said he’d swing by at four.”

“Dude, I already swung by.” EB’s voice came from behind him.

“WAH!” Rustbolt jumped, turning around to see EB leaning on the wall, chugging a Glacier Freeze Gatorade from a 6 pack. The other 5 were in his other hand, bound by plastic rings. “Wait what time is it?”

“It’s 8:42,” said Solar Flare. “According to my sundial.”

“Haha! A sunflower with a sundial! That’s golden right there.”

“I like him.” Solar Flare pointed to Boog. “He’s funny and has a great taste in music.”

“You bet your blue suede shoes I do!” Floof smiled.

Rustbolt chuckled.

“Woah woah hold up.” EB held up his Gatorade. “Open your mouth again, bro.”

Confused, Rustbolt nodded and opened. EB’s eyes widened. His jaw dropped and so did his Gatorade. The electrolyte-replenishing drink landed on the floor, and the jaw was a few inches short.

“DUDE YOUR TEETH”

“What about them?”

“Feel your gums, dude.”

Confused, Rustbolt put his thumb against his upper gums. He went side to side, rubbing along the length of them, and he felt bumps. Serrated somethings were making their way out. “Am I growing new teeth?”

“Dude, that’s awesome!”

“Yeah but I have perfect speech with only four teeth. You know how hard it’ll be to adjust?”

“Just ask Brain Freeze to help you.”

Sighing, Rustbolt nodded. “You’re right.”

EB picked up his Gatorade, which somehow landed perfectly right side up. Not a drop had spilled. “Well, I gotta head back to Zomboss. He called another meeting. He also said Super Brainz would be sneaking into LEAF HQ today so, be ready. I’m still Team Zombie, but you’re a zombie too so I gotta help a brother out, you know what I’m sayin’?” He nudged Rustbolt a few times with his elbow. “Haha.”

“You said he’d be here,” grumbled Captain Combustible.

“He will be, he will be.”

At that moment, the sound of two xylophone notes being played in an ABAB pattern filled the hallway. The stump and the zombie turned towards the sound to see Super Brainz, tiptoeing in perfect unison with the xylophone notes.

“There he is!” Yelled Cap Combus. With a roar, he launched himself at the super[zombie]hero.

The two wrestled each other for about twelve minutes until finally Rustbolt said “okay you two, break it up.”

They stopped fighting, and SB looked at Rustbolt. “Rusty? What are you doing here? I thought you would be frolicking in the flowers or something.”

“Great to see you too, asshole.”

“Friend stealer,” The Superhero countered.

“Egomaniac.”

“Flower kisser.”

“Flower FUCKER.”

SB grumbled in defeat. “Whatever.”

Rustbolt pulled Cap off of Super Brainz. “Get out of here and we won’t kick your ass.”

SB got up, and Rustbolt and Cap started walking away.

“The fire tree isn’t even scary,” taunted SB.

“Shut your fat flabby mouth,” snapped Cap.

“What’re you gonna do about it, Stumpy.”

Captain Combustible turned around and glared at the super zombie. “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?”

“STUMPY.”

“Why you little MOTHERFUCKING BEEF-BRAINED COCKSUCKING AIRHEAD! I’M GONNA RIP YOU LIMB FROM ROTTEN LIMB!”

The next 8 minutes consisted of fire, crunching bones, screaming and the smell of burnt flesh.

“Well,” Rustbolt shrugged. “As they say, there’s no kill like overkill.”

So, after SB flew back home, fatally injured, Rustbolt and Cap walked back to their respective places of residence. When Rustbolt got home, EB was back in the house, talking to Solar Flare. “Sup, you two.”

They both flinched. “Oh! Rustbolt! EB was just, uh…”

“Teaching her how to flirt with words instead of sex appeal,” EB mentioned nonchalantly.

“Dude I feel like if anything YOU’D rely on your sex appeal more than a flower.” Rustbolt gave a look that said “I’m right and we both know it.”

His friend shrugged. “Well I rely on it, yes, but I use words alot more than she does, apparently.”

“Listen here, Dance-o. If you were a plant you’d go freaking Gaga over me.” Solar Flare ran her leaves down the outline of her body, swaying her ‘hip’ as her leaves made their way down her stem.

“If you say so.” Boog rolled his eyes. “Anyways, Rusty, you ready to go?”

“Don’t call me Rusty.”

“Forgot. Sorry.”

“I’m just remindin’ ya bro, you know I don’t like that.”

“Can you just lead us to Rose?” EB tapped his foot, suddenly annoyed.

“I know the way!” SF raised a leaf. “Can I show you guys the way?”

“Why not.” The two shrugged.

“Thank you for seeing me, Rustbolt.”

Rustbolt nodded. “I brought EB and Solar Flare too.”

“Well I did ask you to bring another zombie hero, so.” She glared at EB, who just winked and popped a pair of fingerguns her way. “I always see you two together, I don’t know why I expected you to bring anybody besides this disco dunce.”

“Hey, you’re not so pleasant yourself, petal pusher.”

“Hair-brain.”

“Control freak.”

“Hoho, guilty as charged.” She chuckled, smiling.

“So what did you need me for,” Rustbolt said, trying to leave as soon as possible.

“We need to have a private discussion tonight, you and I.” She pointed her wand at him. “As for now, we need to give you a more… plant-related… superpower.”

“Like what?”

Rose smirked. “How about we take advantage of those powers, hm?” She made her way over to the garden in her castle. She put down a few beans and a Mayflower in the water. “Use your powers to make a random plant in every lane.”

“You want me to pull off a cornucopia? No.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Then make weaker plants. Here, take this pen and write a few plants off the top of your head.”

“Why do you just have a pen on vine?”

“Because I write spells sometimes.” Rose handed him a pad of paper, too.

After a long time of trying out this signature superpower, a long time that I’m not gonna elaborate on, he finally succeeded. He had a cabbage-pult on heights, a metal petal, a snowdrop and a puff-shroom on the ground and a guacodile in the water.

“Excellent work, Rustbolt!”

“Good job man!” EB hugged his Rustbuddy™.

“Are you two gonna freaking kiss yet or something?”

They both let go of each other. “What?” They asked in unison.

“I ship you guys. Electrobolt for the win.”

Rustbolt and EB, after processing what the flower just said to them, turned to look at each other. And, as if they both knew exactly what to do…

They took a step closer to each other…

Leaned in…

…And Rustbolt pulled out his sharpie and drew anime-style blush lines on EB’s face.

The two erupted into laughter, to the point where EB fell over clutching his stomach.

“I love you man,” Rustbolt said in his deepest possible voice.

“Oh my GAWD, I like, love you so much, Rustbolt!” Said EB. But the way he said it. If there ever was a stereotypical gay guy voice that was it. The impersonation sounded nothing like EB’s “bittersweet” voice. And with that, the two laughed even more.

The thing is, EB has that kind of laugh that makes OTHERS laugh. His laugh in and of itself is just FUNNY. It’s a joyous laugh.

So, the two kept laughing until Rose finally sent them off, where Solar Flare guided them to a place that EB knew all too well. They approached the track, covered in tires, piers, moats and rope courses.

“The obstacle course,” EB said, horrified.

“Grass Knuckles’ course? Why?”

“I dunno, he said to bring you guys here.”

“WHY HELLO, FARTHEADS.” Grass Knuckles jumped down from a tree, like a fucking creep, and landed in front of them. “I have a friend I’d like you to meet.”

“Is it Lefty Louie?” EB snickered.

“No. I called you all here to meet my staff.”

Solar Flare wasn’t about to deal with this bull crap. So, she flew off.

“Staff?” Boog and Rustbolt looked over at each other. “Staff of what?”

“STAFF OF PUNISHMENT!” GK pulled a staff out of hammerspace and proceeded to whack the two with it. The conversation that proceeded had about a minute of just whacking and “ow” in between each line of dialogue.

“Dude, what the hell!?” Screamed Rustbolt.

“DONT THINK I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE UP TO.”

“What?”

“You may have everyone else fooled but not me! You lowlife zomBOZO! And your boyfriend too!”

Solar Flare, having heard the whacking and screaming, sighed and flew back. On the way, she saw Nightcap hopping along, also towards the obstacle course. She landed right next to her Kabloom Companion. “Wassup, my shroom?”

“Well, if it isn’t miss ‘Shroomier than thou.’ How goes it.”

“Still salty about that, huh.” She smiled nervously and scratched the back of her head.

“Yeah. But whatever. Anyways where you off to.”

“Me? I’m headed to the golf course.”

“Golf course is the other way.”

Solar Flare faceleafed. “I meant the OBSTACLE course. Dammit.”

“Me too,” the mushroom said.

“Going to see your boyfriend?~” She teased.

Rolling his eyes, he scoffed. “He came to my house, he left, and now my staff is gone.”

“He stole your jabby-whacky-stick?”

Huffing, Nightcap nodded. “That and he has some explaining to do. I saw him watching me train yesterday through the window.”

When the two arrived, they saw GK whacking the absolute SHIT out of the two zombies. That’s what Rustbolt gets for not wearing his suit I guess.

“…And your boyfriend too!” Screamed GK.

“What? If anything YOU’RE the gay one,” said EB.

“Yeah,” continued Rustbolt. “You making goo goo eyes at Nightcap.”

GK threw down the staff in anger. “I’m not gay!”

“You’re blushing.”

“Wha– My mask is RED, doofus!”

Rustbolt looked at GK. “You’re blushing.”

“Wha– My mask is RED, doofus!”

“Sup guys.” The three turned to see Solar Flare and Nightcap.

“Sup, we’re just talking about GK’s homosexuality.”

“I’m gonna shred you if you don’t shut up,” growled the Asian cabbage.

“He’s not gay,” Solar Flare said.

“Thank you!” GK was relieved that someone was taking his side.

“He’s just got a shroom kink.” And even without proper lips, she managed to pull off the best :3 you’ve ever seen.

Blushing, GK groaned. “I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH NIGHTCAP!”

“Then explain the peeping,” Nightcap responded emotionlessly.

Grass Knuckles looked at the fungus before him. “…I…..” He closed his eyes tight and rushed his words. “I really really look up to you and I aspire to be you someday or at least LIKE you because you’re so cool and powerful and you’re like the awesomest dude ever and well when we hang out together I feel like I’m getting to know you more and more and I watch you train because I go home every day and train like you do and I’m the one that stole your nun chucks last month because I wanted to learn to fight like you!”

Nightcap stared at the Bonk Choy. “You really think that highly of me?”

“Mm-hm!” Grass Knuckles, eyes still closed, nodded.

Nightcap’s frown turned into an expression of mild surprise. Then… It became… a smile. “Th…” he became frustrated. “Tha… Th…. Thuuuuuuu……… Thaaaaaaa…..” He growled, teeth grit. “Thank you.”

Grass Knuckles opened his eyes to see Nightcap hugging him. And smiling. Wow, a double whammy. He quickly returned the hug. Hear that? That’s the sound of the S. S. Grasscap scraping against the iceberg that is this story. You can practically taste the seawater flooding the lower decks, can’t you? The nose is going up… It’s practically vertical… And DOWN goes the Grasscap ship. Fucking sunk. Deal with it. You got your fluff, be happy with it.

Brainstorm glared through the telescope. He couldn’t get that dream out of his head. It was a dream entirely centered around Comet Z. And apparently Immorticia, the only Hero he spoke with today, said she had a dream about the comet as well.

Oh well, probably coincidence.

He was about to pack up for the night when he saw a streak of fire and… smoke? Smoke in space? Whatever was somehow making space smoke slammed into the comet, knocking it off course an observable amount.

Brainstorm stood up, and ran his fingers through his hair. Grabbing his communicator, he punched in a number. Within seconds, a (Garden Warfare) Scientist Zombie was on the screen. “Victor?”

Rolling his eyes, he huffed. “Yes, Chanler, it’s me. Your brother. Sorry I haven’t called in a while but I need you over here as soon as possible.’

“You know, ever since you got zapped by that Hero beam you never call, you never visit, you became a recluse and you left me to heal the masses.”

“I was never that big into healing anything, you know that. Why repair when you can upgrade?”

“Whatever. And now you call me, no context, telling me I have to be there ASAP!”

“Oh right, and how’s that whole Junkling fiasco going, or whatever her name is.”

“Her name isn’t Junkling,” Chanler said, blushing. “It’s Juk–”

“I’d love to hear it, little brother, but I need you to get here as fast as science can carry you.” He abruptly hung up, turning his attention to a huge monitor. It displayed charts and data curves and other information about the comet. He pressed the refresh button.

Holy shit.

All the info changed. And according to the computers and satellite tracking, it was now on a collision course. With Earth. Unfortunately since it just happened less than an hour ago, there wasn’t enough data to determine exactly WHERE on Earth it would land.

Comet Z just became Meteor Z. And that would have been a bad thing if Brainstorm hadn’t seen the corner of the monitor before turning it off.

He had his hand on the button and pressed it. So it shut off, but not before his eyes trailed to the corner of the screen. There was a picture taken, kind of blurry, but one thing was very visible:

A large. Pink. Z. Engraved onto the meteor. It really WAS meteor Z.

Brainstorm, astonished, hastily dialed Zomboss on his communicator.

“Brainstorm, my trusted advisor, is there something of importance that you need to tell me?” He had rejected the video call and answered it as a normal call.

“Sir, I have some…” Brainstorm blinked and saw the image, temporarily burned into his retinas. “… Some groundbreaking news. Groundbreaking in more ways than one.”

#Story #Act 3 #Chapter 7 #lgbt

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