I think this year I really do wanna try to write about what I did throughout the day like I did with my quarantine diary, but without the pressure of having to do it Every Singe Day. 

I continued sewing the paws I started yesterday until I got frustrated with the pattern and quit after several hours. last night I was watching youtube while working, but I kept pausing every time I used my sewing machine and forgetting to unpause sometimes so I'd be working in silence singing the same 2 verses of a sea shanty stuck in my head until I played it again. but today I discovered that if I just wear my headphones with a podcast playing, I can still hear it over the machine noise and I don't have to worry about pausing/unpausing/carrying my phone around so I can hear it :) I watched the first few episodes of TAZ that way and it made me think about how different TAZ and critical roll are lmao. speaking of dnd I found my folder of character sheets a couple days ago (?) and today my dm friend suggested we start playing again after a SUPER long hiatus. like MONTHS. I may need to rebuild my character from the ground up since I dont really know what the fuck im doing, but ill leave that for another time. I keep getting too many ideas for dnd builds lol. ANYWAY after temporarily giving up on the paws I hung around my kitchen and watched tiktoks in my room and got sad for a little bit until I booted up the sims 4. I've been playing with a could sims that have grown into a little family, Athena Harmonson the crime boss and Rosalai (idk how its spelt lmao) Underwood the comedian had their first daughter Liliana Harmwood and recently had TWINS Theo and Reneigh (idk if that's how its spelled either) Harmwood. All the names were randomized except for my combining of the two last names for the kids so idk how exactly they're spelling. I played for a few hours and I think I may need to move them into a bigger house. there was hardly room for Liliana as a kid (she didnt even have her own room, I just shoved her bed in a little alcove and gave her her own little corner) so idk how im gonna handle her as a teen plus two almost toddlers. and I made myself sad thinking about how Athena and Rosalai(?) are gonna die eventually and all the time I spent upping their skills and completing whims and moving them through their careers won't matter :( I guess I could use whatever lifetime reward points are called in this game to keep them as immortal adults but that would get hard as the family expands more and more. eh I'll figure it out. on another related note im pretty sure the fans in my MacBook are fuckng broken lol. I remember one day they were REALY loud and I just kinda. smacked my laptop a little bit to make the non-stop high pitched whirring stop and then I think they went back to normal? but now the dont fuckin work at all. there's never a breeze coming through the vents and it gets super hot so I keep it propped up on a box when I play instead of resting on my blankets to try and prevent excess heat trapping. I COULD get it fixed, or I could just ignore it until I eventually get a better laptop. of wait until I hear word from my brother about my other broken laptop that he gave to me but then it stopped charging for unknown reasons. idk. I think I maybe have bad luck with technology. or at least laptops specifically. but uhhhh anyway one been typing for way too long and none’s gonna read this which is totally fine by me because this is mostly to act as a personal archive anyway. but I do hope I'm able to write at least a little bit throughout the year about how my day goes to what im thinking about most days, because one of my fears is just forgetting who I am and what ive done and just letting time disappear and losing myself along with it. actually yeah I think thats like my greatest fear oops. anyway goodnight I love you mwah <3