#he seems very silly i can't wait to study him under a microscope | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theloveinc · 2 years

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do you talk hawks at all? i just love bird man so much i wanna pick his brain. wanna study him under a microscope. must be all of the ✨trauma✨ he’s been through

ANYWAY

do you think he’d have abandonment issues in a relationship? how clingy do you think he’d get?

(also i hc virgin hawks on my deathbed. wouldn’t surprise me at all if you were his first serious relationship. just ‘cuz i could see it being pretty difficult to really get close to him. but once you do…he ain’t letting go

buuuuttttt that’s just me)

i talk every character tbh but people always seem to forget💔💔💔but hawks omg... remember back in the early days of the pandemic when he was basically everyone's number one sexy boy? i'm honestly not sure why the hype for him died down so much.

ANYWAY i absolutely wanna study him, too! his trauma is SO interesting to me esp because i think his demeanor + motives are honestly... berry strange LMAO. respectable... but berry strange (we can address this another time sdfkjadsf).

To get down to it, though... I agree with you about Hawks' clinginess (if you can call the rest of this agreeing), as well as that it takes long time before you ever see that side of him, too. And not like a three month long time, more like a YEARS long time. One or two at least, given I also see him as being really hesitant about relationships. Not exactly having abandonment issues... but commitment ones.

Which isn't to say he's unloyal, or even as more of fuck buddy than anything else... I DO think he very seriously dates you (cuz I see him as being very serious in general, actually)...

But at first, dating him is never... romantic. Or it is and that aspect of it just feels... weird. Like you definitely like each other... but don't actually know each other, if that makes sense, all because he's distinctly refusing to let you in. And it's not even intentional, or ill-intentioned, at that... he genuinely does want to be with you... he just can't bring himself to commit in the ways that matter.

Until he does.

Because I think if you stick with it, enjoy the relationship as best you can, there comes a point after all of this nonsense, where... yeah. He gets attached. WAY too attached. Codependent attached. Which is kinda strange because part of you thought he just liked you for the company... like, a friend he could bang..

But the reality is, the entire time you were dating, literally while you thought things would never progress and this might just be... settling, Hawks was building a nest with you in his head. Piece by piece, leaving bits of himself beside you and then pondering if it was finally safe to leave them all. And suddenly, it is. And you become his lifeline, the person he trusts more than anyone else in the entire world... all because you waited for him, dealt with him... showed him that you loved him even when it was hard.

Then he becomes clingy. Nightmarishly so, as this is when his commitment issues turn into abandonment issues. He goes from being somewhat scared of tying either of you down to being afraid you'll leave him for the way he's treated you, all in like... less than a month.

(And since he's not dumb, it goes smoother than I'm making it seem. Like he definitely has a moment where he tells you all this, and explains what he's been going through in trying to stay so casual; that he knows it was dickish, but it was only because deep down, he was so, so scared.)

But this means you go from hardly anything—dinner dates that would sometimes get canceled whenever he picked up an extra patrol, always leaving your apartment before anything other than kissing could start—to so much: going on fancy dates. Spending the night and waking up together. Talking about the future... as the future finally feels right.

I think it’s a kind of a nice clingy, though. He’s not whiney at all, more happy and silly than you’ve ever seen him (completely delighted by you, all the time), and if anything really, it never feels like the honeymoon phase, just like you get very close and comfortable with one another, like you’ve been together for years.

He just wants to see you everyday, not to exhaust, but to spend time together, even if that means doing nothing at all. He calls you and wants to talk for hours, about anything and nothing at all. He doesn’t mind anymore.

AND turn this fantasy into your own, by god, please, but... yeah. He probably is virgin up until this point. Acts so cocky and suave about it but only because he doesn’t know what else to do. He wants to be good, thinks he has everything mastered to a certain extent... then your pants come down for real and he just... losing all cool, focus and control.

Gotta treat him so sweet🥺🥺🥺 so his first time w/ you is magical. I already know it is, though.

#hawks #im just imagining hawks on ft with you and being unable to tear his face from the screen and the whole thing is just his eye and hair #bc he's so happy to be looking at u #sorry this got... out of hand #hope it's okay tho!#i always forget how much i feel about hawks until im writing about him #sighh #then im 5 paragraphs in and in my own world #i actually had a lot to say here but ... i forget LOL sorry sdfjkahsdfhkjahsdkj #i kiss u thank u so much for the ask and the hawks #caitie things #anon

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