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#he greatly influenced my music taste and got me my first ipod
pussy-ache
·
1 year
Text
ever just miss your grandpa
#i loved both my grandpas but my grandpa on my dads side meant the world to me
#and he died when i was 13
#i wish i had gotten to spend more time with him
#but the time we did have was wonderful. he was kind and patient and generous and loving
#he greatly influenced my music taste and got me my first ipod
#i loved my grandpa on my moms side but i knew him even less and spent pretty much a minuscule amount of time with him in comparison
#i knew him by the stories i heard. i have a few stories of my own yea and i love how big of a pothead he was. it made me laugh
#but i didn’t know him and for what it’s worth … he didn’t know me
#my grandpa who only had 13 years with me knew me infinitely more than my grandpa who knew me for 27 years
#i find that a little sad too. i know i was loved but i was not known by either of my moms parents. they moved to arizona when i was 6.
#i know what i could have had because i know what i had with my dads father. i know what a good grandparent/grandchild relationship is
#which is why i know my grandpa from arizona had no relationship with me
#i cherish every second i spent with my grandpa and am still heartbroken that he died before my 8th grade graduation
#he & i were supposed to have a whole weekend of fun when i graduated 8th grade. we planned it for years and he died 6 months prior
#he took my sister and i to the movies the day before he died. we saw unoccupied minors and went out for chinese food
#and he was really proud of me that night because i had FINALLY learned to play a certain song on my fife that was REALLY hard to learn
#it was called Old 1812
#and he asked me to play Yankee Doodle. he loved when i played that lmao
#yankee doodle / bells of st marys / sisters were my favorite songs to play
#i fucking LOVED playing sisters and sometimes i’ll even look up fifers playing sisters just to hear it again
#i stopped playing the fife after he died
#i was supposed to learn a song called garry owen and i wasn’t able to move onto it until i landed 1812 perfectly
#because we were supposed to seamlessly transition from one to the next
#i had already marked up my sheet music for garry owen because i was so excited about landing 1812 perfectly
#i was so proud of learning that song and finally being able to show him and i ended up quitting the week after
#i just listened to garry owen for the first time in YEARS and i wish i had learned to play it. it’s beautiful
#i was supposed to duet it with my best friend at the time
#and she actually got angry with me after i quit even though i told her that it made me sad to play lmao.
#ya know. there are a lot of things i reflect on when it comes to that friendship. from middle school to high school she was a shitty friend
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