#he deserves more chances to get wasted and strip considering he couldn't take a vacation without everything falling apart | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

snickerdoodlles · 2 years

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typing up character sheets for my minor kinnporsche faves/OCs, and currently i have:

cash

the in-house accountant

yes, he’s aware his name means money. you’re not that funny, and he promises he’s already heard whatever joke you’re about to say

(his mother believed in being very direct and upfront with Fate about her expectations for her son, and unfortunately he’s useless at anything but figures)

became an accountant for the mafia partially so he could threaten people with a gun after one (1) too many jokes about his name

he’s never owned a gun. accountants aren’t allowed to keep guns in the mansion. this is the universe laughing at him for his hubris, he’d like it to stop now please

he makes his debut when kinn goes to order thirty new fish for tankhun (as an apology for his crush being a total walnut). he makes the mistake of crying over how the cost of this purchase is 3x his annual salary, then goes thru the very stressful process of begging kinn not to give him a raise. his life is a fucking trial

vegas’s muder-sex dungeon cleaners/maintainers

there’s two of them. absolutely no one knows their names, just the way they like it

as gross as the clean up is, they prefer that job to stocking. they are utmost professionals on and off the job and don’t judge, but sourcing half this shit is a trial. seriously, bubble gum flavored lube? do people even sell that still? please stop desecrating these top of the line hand wrenches sir, the hardware stores are starting to know them by face. they still haven’t found the right leather sex swing for mr. vegas and they’re running out of stores to shop in, he’s not really expecting them to custom make it, right? right?

the monk

u know which monk

personally i like to think he originally started this whole thing as a con (u know those people that charge money for free parking? like that). some dumb tourist handed him free food and money one day in mistake and he went “o heck, this could be a gig” but then he legitimately became a part of the temple

basically: came for the free food, stayed for the spiritual awakening

ultimate fake it til you make it icon

a much beloved part of the community. he’s especially in demand for baby blessings

maybe a little too quick to pass out those blessed dildos

Kim’s ex-bodyguard

when kim first moved out, there were some...ahem, disagreements between him and korn about how much protection he still needed, and kim took it out on the bodyguards assigned to him

this guy went “hahaha no” after a day of that and quit. except there was a mix up in the paperwork which resulted in him being taken off the guard rosters, but he’s still on the payroll accounts and this guy just...went with it

absolute madlad and world’s ballsiest gambler

the way he sees it, this is still safer than finding true bodyguard employment and he can just ride it out. if kim finds out, there’s an 83% chance he’ll just use this to get rid of more bodyguards. if the payroll accountant finds out, it’s 50/50 on whether the mistake is quietly fixed or made an example of. if chan finds out, 99.8% chance he’ll get a bullet to the head, but at least it’ll be quick

he likes pressing flowers

a select handful of deutsche bank employees who happen to work in a certain set of offices

their contact is cash. he’s been ignoring their calls for years, but when they called to complain about the sex pool shenanigans, he made the mistake of being sympathetic and now he can’t get rid of them

one monday night call: “i have a bullet hole in my office right now and im blaming you” / “we’re not even one of your clients!” / “which is exactly why i can complain to you” / “ugh”

kinn’s cleaning staff

THE TRUE MVPS OF THE SHOW U KNOW IM RIGHT

there’s five of them, each one of them armed with a cleaning weapon tool of choice. i’m still picking out names for them, but vegas would take notes if he ever saw meen and her broom in action

threatens the kitchens any time they try to make a meal with high stain potential. the bodyguards might think they’re hot shit, but they have nothing on these guys. the only fruits kinn’s had in years are bananas and boys and it’s all because of them

are not utmost professionals on and off the job. they have a secret groupchat that’s passcode protected with three kill switches jic where they complain about the kinky shit kinn gets up to. kinn’s tailor has wanted to be a part of it for years, but no outsiders allowed

all of them meet up for coffee at least once a month, but no more than twice

honorary mention to arm, who would be a part of this group if he had less of a role. he’s the most absolute unit of a bodyguard and apparently the only IT guy in the theerapanyakul‘s employ and i love him. chan is the only other one who seems to know how to operate an ipad, but he outsources that kind of thing

#kinnporsche #i want to write a series about these guys but first i dont have enough of me or time TTwTT #cash is my favorite he's not even a cleaner but he's still the most long-suffering of the lot #wimp (affectionate)#porsche should visit the monk more often tho i think they'd have a lot to bond over #arm accidentally became second in command to chan bc he made the mistake of telling chan things they could improve #and chan was like ''oh finally someone i can delegate too''#its so unfair arm does not want to have to think this much #he deserves more chances to get wasted and strip considering he couldn't take a vacation without everything falling apart #...............idk how to tag this to find it again uhhh #mine: kinnporsche

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