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esha-isboogara · 2 years

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𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓹𝓮𝓽 ♡ !!WIP!!

*i’ve had this in my notes since ninth grade but i am feeling pretty motivated to reboot it sooo

my daddy issues and my need for validation from my higher ups is really starting to shine through huh ? i’ve had a crush on jake peralta since i was young so why not release all those thoughts onto the page..ALSO amy is not around in this bc i can’t bear to have them in the same universe and not be together i love them so so so much.

teacher!jake peralta x highschool!reader

y/n gets a low score on her health quiz and doesn’t know how to feel. lucky for her mr. peralta knows a thing or two about sex ed.

☆you know the drill minors..shoo shoo!!! power imbalance, piv sex, oral(m), fingering, praise, dirty talk, sex on the desk, reader is of age

y/n glanced down at her paper ,blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall. the number 33 was scrawled out on the top in distinct red ink as if to rub everything in. she was in utter disbelief.

“if anyone has a problem with their grade feel free to speak to me at the end of class”. the teacher spoke , leaning against the chalk board.

she wanted to get to her feet and scream in his face . how could he have done this? she was a perfect student and he just ruined it like it was nothing. how could he be so calm about the whole ordeal? but she stayed seated , doing her best to gain control of her emotions. she was in high school now , too big to be crying over grades. you were college bound, just a few more months you had to hold on.

the end of class came in a flash. y/n did her best to gain composure as she walked up to his desk.

“can i talk to you about my grade mr. colbert”? she asked timidly,placing the piece of paper in front of him.

he gave her an unamused look and nodded. “make it quick miss l/n”.

taking a deep breath and mustering all her confidence she finally spoke. “this lesson doesn’t make much sense to me ..i studied for it all this month and i still failed. i was hoping”-

mr colbert put his hand up as an indication for her to stop. “look y/n, i’m sure you’re used to getting your way when it comes to your grades. kids like you infuriate me, trying to worm your way into a teachers heart in order to pass. unlucky for you though i’m nothing like that. sorry you failed my quiz but that is not my fault. maybe study harder next time and don’t rely on me to be your saving grace”.

it was clear he didn’t want to continue the conversation. she thanked him for his time and walked out a few warm tears trickling down her face.

“fucking jerk”. she thought,clutching her bag. she needed someone to talk to.

—————-

“mr.peralta”? she peeked her head in through the open door hoping to see him. to her relief there was, sitting pretty at his desk.

his head turned towards her and he smiled warmly. “hey y/n ? what’s goin on”? he was a nonchalant as ever. it was always so easy to talk to him or at least for her.

she walked in and sat in one of the empty desks in the front of the room. “i need your help with something. it’s school related so don’t worry..usually i wouldn’t bother asking but you’re the only person i’m comfortable speaking to”.

he nodded , his dark umber eyes locked onto hers. she always felt so special when he focused all his attention on her when she was speaking. like she was the only girl in the world. she knew how strange these feelings were but she never failed to embrace them when they surfaced.

“im failing health..and mr. colbert refuses to work with me. so i figured i’d ask you instead”.

his face lit up. “i’m truly honored y/n. i would be more than happy to help you out whatever way i can”. the man left his chair and made his way towards her. “ and i’m sorry mr. colbert is such a douche to you y/n. he’s usually the main topic of gossip in the staff room…you didn’t hear that from me though”.

the tenseness in her shoulders eased at his words. she knew she could always count on him. she could feel a smile creep onto her face.

“ugh, i’m so glad i’m not the only one who feels this way about him. all the kids in my class adore him”.

“oh not by a long shot”. he laughed. oh that laugh. y/n felt so comfortable in his presence.

a bit of small talk ensued , the both of them laughing and talking like old friends.

it almost made y/n forget why she came here.

almost.

“here”. she handed him the large packet , his hands brushing over hers as she did so. if she wasn’t carful she’d start developing unprofessional feelings towards him.

“can you explain to me what you’re learning”? mr. peralta asked, his eyes scanning the packet in his hands.

she nodded. “yeah so basically it’s like sex ed and stuff…ya know consent and the parts of the body and all”. for some reason she felt her face heat up as she spoke. she wasn’t sure why. “i know about all of it but the terms really confuse me”.

he nodded. “yeah yeah that makes sense”. with a grin handed the papers back to her. “i think i can teach you a thing or two about sex ed. but you know how much i hate book work so instead we’re going to try a more…hands on approach”. his tone was sweet but she could see something more primal behind his eyes.

y/n was eager to pass her health class so of course she’d do anything.

jake found it adorable how oblivious she was to the situation. what an innocent little girl waiting for a man like him to ruin that angelic façade.

“okay. let’s start with consent hmm”? he sat in the chair next to yours. he placed his hand on her thigh causing an exited shiver to run down her spine.

“consent is important for both parties understand? one person can want it but the other might not. don’t ever let a man force you into submitting to his wishes”. his hand was now running up your thigh ,passing underneath her uniform skirt. “for example , do you consent for me to go on with this y/n ? your answer will not change anything don’t worry”.

y/n felt all the breath leave her lungs at once. she couldn’t believe this was happening right now. was she actually about to fuck her juvenile justice teacher?

“y-yes”. she managed to say.

mr. peralta held a stern look on his face. “you’re sure y/n”?

unable to speak she nodded her head vigorously. the tingling sensation on her inner thigh was something foreign but not unwelcome.

“perfect ! you’re such a fast learner y/n, my smart girl”. he hoisted her into his arms as if she weighed nothing and sat her on the surface of his desk.

how could such a man be so strong she thought to herself. though, she was not complaining.

he sat down in his desk chair and admired her pretty figure sitting atop his desk. it was heavenly. she was obviously so flustered. he wanted to take her as soon as possible.

“have you ever had sex y/n”?

she was taken aback by his question but shook her head earnestly. “no mr. peralta. i…have never been kissed either”. y/n immediately regretted sharing that bit of information she was sure she made herself look like a fool in front of her teacher

he felt his heart skip a beat at this information. the thought of destroying her for every every other man was appealing to him. “so i’m your first? a pretty girl like you i would have expected at least a kiss”.

he moved his face upwards and ghosted his lips against hers. “but i am more than happy to be your first”.

“m-mr. peralta”?

“call me jake sweetheart, it’ll sound so pretty coming from your mouth”.

“thank you for helping me…it means a lot of me”. she spoke nervousness laced in her tone and she was starting to fidget with her fingers.

grasping your hand in his he gave it a confident squeeze. “no need to thank me yet beautiful, we haven’t even got to the good part yet”.

he slid his fingers over her clothed sex, basking in how wet she was. and just for him. the amount of restraint it took for him to not wreck her right then and there was immense.

“okay sweetheart, just follow my directions and you’ll be fine”.

she nodded again eager to have this feeling of tension building in her stomach relived.

“yes mr. peral-i mean jake”.

always so ready to please him. jake knew he didn’t deserve a girl like her sitting pretty atop his desk but he was not going to ponder the fact longer than a millisecond.

ever so gentle he moved her panties to the side , the gasp of pleasure was music to his ears as the cold air washed over her sex.

“my my y/n..you really are filthy. i never would have taken you for that type of girl”.

she turned her face away from his gaze,not wanting him to see how flustered he was able to get her.

“no need to be shy , i think it’s cute” he comforted. it was taking a lot of self restraint on his part for him not to devour her then and there. the last thing he wanted to do was over stimulate the poor thing.

her thighs we’re quivering at his touch ,it was clear how eager she was.

“i’m going to touch you now sweetheart..is that okay with you”?

#no father activities #another middle aged man #andy samberg #jake peralta #jake peralta smut #jake peralta x reader #esha writes

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incredibeale-archive · 7 years

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Since you told us to ask, could you please do something with Aubrey? Any pairing. I'm glad you're feeling a little better :)

Aubrey Posen has always been an overachiever, has always been the first to do just about anything before her fraternal twin sister, Ashley. It didn’t matter if it was academic or some sort of life event, Aubrey was always first (hell, she was even born first).

Except when she wasn’t first.

When they are thirteen, Ashley comes home absolutely giddy with excitement, plopping down on Aubrey’s bed with a sigh, as if just begging Aubrey to ask her exactly why she’s there and why the dreamy look is on her face. But the moment Aubrey asks, she regrets it because Ashley just grins widely at her sister. “I just had my first kiss!” She squeals and Aubrey feels her stomach drop.

Boys have never been on her radar and her streak of always being first is diminished.

Aubrey is 16 when she has her first kiss. It had been less than stellar and not at all very tactile. She and her perspective date had gone to dinner and a movie and after the movie, they had both stood and Aubrey turned to follow him out of the aisle only to nearly run into the tall, boy. He isn’t bad looking, and the girls in her class frequently comment on how dreamy he is but, Aubrey just– she doesn’t see the hype.

Later she would realize that the only reason she had accepted his offer of a date was because it was what was expected of her.

Before she can say anything, like ask why he isn’t moving, he pulls her forward and presses a sloppy kiss to her lips, tongue forcing it’s way into her mouth. Aubrey had expected some sort of spark, some sort of– well anything except the blank, slightly grossed out feeling. Her stomach rolls and her hands grip his forearms tightly and it takes everything in her not to jerk away.

When he pulls back, he smiles at her and takes her hand to lead the way out of the aisle while Aubrey tries to subtly wipe the saliva from on and around her lips. She was quiet the whole way home and when he offered to walk her to the door, she smiled politely and told him her father was probably watching and that he was a very strict man. It was a lie of course. He was probably in his study, but at least it would save her from another wet and uncoordinated kiss.

She didn’t brag about her first kiss, and instead wondered why it had been so… lackluster. Was it because he was a bad kisser? She wasn’t sure, but she knew that she didn’t like him. She wanted to, because– well because it was what was expected of her, but she just… She couldn’t.

A year later, when Aubrey and her sister are 17, Ashley loses her virginity and Aubrey feels sick because she can’t even kiss a boy without feeling off.

Her senior year of high school, Aubrey meets Chloe Beale. Chloe is a wild thing and she and Aubrey are really nothing alike, but– they become best friends almost instantly (Chloe worming her way in and breaking down Aubrey’s walls like they were paper mache). And Aubrey, she really just loves everything about Chloe because the girl is a walking ball of sunshine and she never judges Aubrey and pushes her just enough out of her comfort zone to have a good time.

Chloe is just wonderful and amazing, and beautiful and Aubrey’s never had a friend like her before. Someone she trusts so completely, someone who’s supportive in everything Aubrey does, someone to share secrets with.

But then Chloe tells her how she’s met this boy, this wonderful boy who makes her toes curl and her heart flutter in her chest. Aubrey feels sick. Her stomach twists and knots and her heart– it feels like it falls into her stomach and just lays there until the acid eats away at it. And to her horror, Aubrey realizes that she’s jealous. But not of Chloe, no– of this boy that Chloe is so infatuated with. But she manages a straight face and smiles and nods in all the right places.

Later, when she gets home, she’s immediately ill. She throws up until there’s nothing left in her and then she cries as she comes to the realization that she’s gay, and that she might be a little bit in love with her best friend. She wonders why it took her this long to figure it out.

Except then she thinks back to the way she felt when casually looking at other girls – her infatuation with her music teacher in ninth grade – and the feelings she’d get when watching movies with favorite celebrities in them and– oh. Had she just been repressing it that hard?

Everything makes sense now. Everything is more glaringly and painfully obvious.

Chloe and Aubrey manage to get into college together and slowly, Aubrey gets over her best friend. It hurts less and less when Chloe talks about her latest conquest, until Aubrey feels nothing at all except platonic love for the redhead. They continue to laugh and confide in each other.

And when Aubrey (feeling vulnerable and inadequate after a phone call with her dad) tipsily confides that she’s never had sex before, Chloe – Aubrey has never been more grateful for her than in this moment – Chloe just smiles and tells her that it’s okay. She’d know when she was ready and there was nothing remotely wrong with still being a virgin. Chloe thought it was actually pretty sweet the way that Aubrey had been saving herself for the right person.

Which, Aubrey doesn’t find until she’s 21 and Stacie Conrad walks out onto stage to audition for the Bellas.

It’s after the finals that Aubrey makes her move. She’s running on an Adrenalin rush and a little bit of alcohol. She finds Stacie in the kitchen of she and Chloe’s apartment (the bellas had all gathered there for celebratory drinks and fun), making herself a drink when she notices Aubrey come up beside her.

“Hey, you need another?” She asks, smile bright and happy.

Aubrey shakes her head, swallowing her nerves. Her eyes drop to Stacie’s lips and before she can lose her nerve, she’s kissing the slightly taller girl. Immediately her heart seems to somersault in her chest and it only gets worse when Stacie inhales sharply before she’s cupping Aubrey’s cheeks and kissing her back.

And– oh.

Oh, this is what her sister must have felt during her first kiss. This is what she was supposed to feel.

Stacie’s lips are soft and her touch is light and gentle.

Until Aubrey’s tongue runs along the brunette’s bottom lip and then Stacie’s touch isn’t so light. Her hands move down to Aubrey’s hips, shoving her against the counter top and deepening the kiss. Hot, white heat shoots down to Aubrey’s core and she can’t help the quiet little moan that escapes her lips which– seems to do something to Stacie, because the brunette’s fingers dig lightly into Aubrey’s hips.

Stacie pulls back panting, forehead resting against Aubrey’s. “Bedroom?”

Aubrey nods her head jerkily and they manage to sneak away without any of the others noticing.

It’s not until Stacie is hovering over her half naked form, fingers dancing over her skin that Aubrey admits she’s a virgin. “I–I’ve never–”

Stacie rises from her treck of trailing hot, open mouthed kisses down Aubrey’s taut stomach. “With a girl?” She tries to finish, but Aubrey bites her lip and glances away. “Oh,” Stacie says, as she realizes. “We don’t have to.” She says with a soft smile, and Aubrey can see that she’s being sincere, but–

“No, I – I want to. I just– I wanted you to know.” She isn’t sure why.

Stacie smiles something adoringly at Aubrey that makes her flush even more so than she already is. “Okay. We can go slow.” She promises, fingers stroking Aubrey’s hip.

“Okay.” Aubrey agrees.

And Stacie is slow, painfully and achingly slow. She’s slow to build Aubrey up, lips and hands seeming to explore every inch of the blonde’s body as if the brunette is trying to commit it to memory. But then Stacie’s head is between her legs and her mouth is exactly where Aubrey needs her to be and before long, the blonde is coming undone.

When it’s Aubrey’s turn to reciprocate (And after Stacie has made sure that the blonde is okay), she copies what Stacie had done to her.

The second Aubrey’s tongue presses against Stacie almost experimentally, the leggy brunette’s hand shoots out to tangle in blonde locks and her hips jerk up. Spurred on by those actions alone, Aubrey continues at a more eager, yet tentative pace, slowly building Stacie up. “Are– are you… s-sure you haven’t done this before?” Stacie pants out between breathy moans. And–

Aubrey’s always been an overachiever…

Stacie comes hard a moment later, back arching up off the bed.

After the brunette comes down from her high, Aubrey crawls up beside her and Stacie is kissing her deeply. “I’ve liked you for a long time, Posen.” She says, voice a little hoarse.

Aubrey smiles, feeling light and happy. “I’ve liked you, too.”

Stacie chuckles. “Well, I’d hope so– otherwise this would have been a little out of left field for you.”

The blonde rolls her eyes, and before she can say anything, Stacie is kissing her again, nipping at her lower lip. Aubrey just lets out this little contented sigh and smiles. “What’s this mean?” Stacie asks, lips nearly a breath away, still.

“I think you know what it means, otherwise I would have never– done this.”

Stacie grins and even in the low light, Aubrey can see it. “Good.” She finally says, leaning in for another kiss. And then Stacie is working Aubrey up for round two.

Good indeed.

#pitch perfect fanfiction #staubrey fanfiction #( let's talk about you and me || staubrey ff )#so i've been thinking about this for a long time and yeah #idk #so heres some aubrey centric shiz for ya #i hope yall like it #octobersky22 #lol also i've just been listening to fleetwood macs version of landslide bcs it gives me aubrey vibes man

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xrevivals · 6 years

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random thoughts I needed to share

You know what really genuinely bothers me? Like, I will catch myself thinking about it all the time when I am alone. I studied every single detail about worms’ digestive systems in grade seventh and then whole two years later in grade ninth I studied human’s anatomy. When we were 13 or 14 they filled our brains with the unnecessary information about worms (things that, I have to admit, I knew back then because we were asked about it but I could feel my already tired-of-everything-pre-teen mind emptying the moment I left the biology classroom) and then we are 16 that’s when they start talking to us about diseases, sex or condoms? So if you ever see me walking around and looking as if I am drowning in my own thoughts, now you’ll know that’s what I am thinking about.

So, now you are reading this. This story either grossed you out and made you think about what our education system is like (or as a matter of fact grossed you out the moment you realized you were reading about worms’ digestive systems) or made you interested in what I am about to write. Well, I am not sure yet but I guess I will figure it out because I am sure that 5 minutes ago I had no idea I will write what I just did but I somehow felt the urge to write about something that’s been bothering me for the past 2 years or so.

And you know I can easily stop thinking about it, but what will change if I just stop and don’t at least write it down? Seventh-graders will still be stressing out unnecessarily over something that won’t matter the moment the class ends, and so will the next ones. So right now I want you to think about this very random thing that bothers you or even better, take a pen and write it down. You most likely won’t change it, but you can at least take the sheet of paper and tear it apart because this is what we do with things that are bothering us, right?

These almost 400 words I just wrote are the perfect example of how we let the stupidest things either stress us out or even give us anxiety, and it all comes from overthinking. Now put back together the sheet of paper on which you wrote about the thing that bothers you I just asked you to tear apart. Look closely at what you wrote, or think about what you thought of. No matter if it just disturbs you or keeps you awake at nights it’s most likely something from the past because that’s the most common cause of anxiety. Or it’s something about your current life situation. Or something that is on your to-do list but you can’t find time for it.

As the very dramatic anxious overthinking person I just proved I am, I have to tell you the most cliché thing you have heard for years now but once you truly realize what it means it will have a different meaning to you. You are right here, right now. And that’s the first and the most important step you have to take in order to feel even a little better. As depressing as it sounds, you could have gotten hit by a car today, could have died in any way, could have gotten kidnapped or whatever; but instead you are right here, right now laying in your comfortable bed or taking a walk reading this. And as if my last sentence wasn’t cliché enough already I am going to continue saying that some people weren’t that lucky today. So, how is this supposed to make me happy – someone died and I didn’t? Well, it’s not, but it shows that you have more time than them to take your own life in your own hands and slay the hell out of it.

#random thoughts #thoughts #deep #anxiety #depressed #writing #excerpts from a book i'll never write #tumblr post #tumblr thoughts #poetry

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theotherackerman · 3 years

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Invisible String

CHAPTER TWO: NINE

Your paintings are so depressing,” Gabi replies as she paces the living room of her sister’s apartment.

“Thanks,” Mikasa replies as she continues to work on the painting she has on an easel.

“Remember when they weren’t? Like look at this one!” Gabi says as she picks up one of the paintings off of the floor.

There’s a silhouette of three children on a beach.

“Who are these people anyway?” Gabi askes.

“I don’t know. Someone. You know sometimes I don’t know where the inspiration comes from,” Mikasa replies, not even bothering to look at the painting her sister is holding.

“But you still paint hundreds of birds for no reason. Oh, and butterflies. Butterflies and birds. Random children we don’t know. Random boy we don’t know. Oh, a portrait of the most beautiful woman to walk the earth,” Gabi smiles as she sets one painting down and picks up another.

“You’re holding the portrait of you, aren’t you?”

“You’re not even looking!”

“I don’t have to. Give it to Falco. I’m sure he’ll enjoy it.”

“I’m going to tell him you said that.”

“I’ll give it to him as a wedding present.”

“You would too. There’s nothing to say I’m going to marry him,” Gabi huffs as she puts down the painting.

“Okay, I believe you,” Mikasa replies as she looks up from her current painting. She can’t help but smirk at her little sister.

“Do you think I should move to the dorms?” Gabi asks before she sits down on the small loveseat.

“Do you want to?” Mikasa asks as she stops painting.

“I don’t know. I worry about Dad. I mean he’ll be home alone and I don’t want to leave him alone.”

“But you don’t want him to walk in on you having sex again, right?”

“Okay, I’m still mad that he told you that.”

“But in all seriousness, Gabi, you’re going to be nineteen. Dad didn’t even get mad at you.”

“Because he was busy lecturing me about birth control!”

"As he should. He need to make sure you're being safe."

“Oh my...I don’t want to have this conversation again!”

“I’m just saying. Unless you want kids, you need to use protection. Otherwise, you end up with a shit like me,” Mikasa teases her sister as she sits down next to her.

“Ugh. Fine, whatever. I’ll be safe. I use protection.”

“Every time?”

“Yes! Okay, should we make this conversation about how you refuse to get a boyfriend instead? Because I shouldn’t be the only one of us that is made uncomfortable. I mean, hell, I’d be happy if you’d get a girlfriend or someone nonbinary! I just worry about you being alone,” Gabi confesses. “Both you and Dad….Dad I get. He lost two loves of his life. You...you’ve gotten worse. Ever since you graduated from college, it just seems like….I don’t know. Before you seemed to have some sort of hope. You said the right guy was out there but...now...it’s like you gave up.”

“You know I don’t need a romantic relationship to complete my life, right? Look, Gabi, I don’t know what happened after graduation. I don’t know if it’s depression or what. Some feelings have caught up with me. I won’t lie. But a romantic connection is not something I want or need right now, okay? And as far as Dad goes, he’ll be fine if you want to move to the dorms. I don’t know why you and Falco just don’t get an apartment together.”

“Because I’d have to work more. You know with track it doesn’t make it easy.”

“I know but don’t worry about me or Dad. Go live your life for yourself, okay? Just don’t get pregnant before you want to.”

“I won’t!”

“Good. Now you want to get breakfast or…”

“That depends. Who’s buying?”

“I will.”

“Aww, that’s why you’re my favorite sister.”

“I’m your only sister, you dork.”

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Eren takes a nap after his classes.

For the first time, he sees someone he hasn’t seen in a while appear in his dream.

He’s at a very fancy bar. He takes a seat at one of the stools as Founder Ymir is adding every single bottle of alcohol into a shaker cup.

“You are dumber this time than the last,” she replies as she shoves one bottle under the bar before grabbing another. “I give you Armin and you make Mikasa forget? The poor girl is depressed and she doesn’t know why!”

Eren stares at her. “I didn’t make her forget.”

The entity stops her pouring and looks at him. “I sacrificed magic to help you and now you lie to me? Do you understand? I had to wait years for the reserves to come back! I don’t interfere in human lives and yet….you made me feel bad. Only to have you slap me in the face by making Mikasa forget you! Do you know how much harder this makes everything? You’re going to be cursed to live this over and over and over.”

“I did it so she can be free of me! Why am I cursed anyway? I didn’t break the Titan curse. Mikasa did. Mikasa did whatever Ymir needed to see. Why isn’t she cursed? Why me?”

“Will you listen to yourself? Pathetic. Why me? Why am I cursed? Gee, I don’t know. Did you not kill eighty percent of the world’s population? Humans are sort of like rabbits I suppose though. They did repopulate. You did throw so many ecosystems out of whack but that is besides the point. You, sir, are cursed because you’re supposed to be a hero. Yet instead, time and time again, you cast yourself as the villain. Instead of talking to Mikasa at her art show, you ran away. You two could be popping out babies and being married. Instead, you are here with me.”

The entity picks up the shaker and shakes it while staring down Eren.

“What are you?” Eren asks as Ymir sits the shaker down. “A god?”

Ymir laughs, “no. I’m not the worm in the tree either if that’s what you’re wondering. Though some people do worship me. You wouldn’t know me even if I told you my name.” She lifts the cup to her mouth and quickly drinks down all the contents. “That was horrible. I shouldn’t do that again.”

“So what do you want me to do now?”

“Make it right, Eren Jaeger.”

“I’m not Eren Jaeger anymore,” he replies before he looks down.

“Who are you trying to convince of that? Me or yourself?”

“You were a lot nicer the other times I met you,” Eren mutters.

“And you were a lot smarter. Alright, I’m done. Go get some coffee and wake up!”

As soon as Ymir snaps her fingers, Eren jolts awake in the real world. He finds himself panting. He runs a hand through his hair. Coffee sounds good. He can have some coffee and then he can start studying. Then he can figure out what to do about Mikasa.

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The ninth time Mikasa and Eren see one another, she’s working at her father's café.

She doesn’t remember any of it.

The other chance meetings.

The dreams.

They're all gone. She's just a starving artist being a waitress in her dad's café. Yet for some reason, she has this nagging feeling that she's missing something. There's an ache that can't be filled. A piece of her missing as she floats a drift in this sea.

Not until his eyes meet hers does she realize that he is that missing piece.

She drops the tray of coffee cups to the floor, splattering coffee all over the café.

Her head is throbbing.

The memories are flooding back of the chance meetings and the dreams.

The pain gets worse.

She falls.

She’s convulsing on the floor.

Bird.

Red.

Titans.

A man and a woman stabbed to death on the floor.

Bird.

A grave by a tree.

The ocean.

Smoke.

Bombs.

Titans.

Bird.

Titans.

Flying through the air.

A great skeleton.

Bird.

Red scarf.

“I’m a doctor,” Eren says as he kneels down beside her.

Her nose is bleeding but at least her convulsions have stopped.

“You,” she finally says after a moment.

“Me,” he replies.

She desperately wants to kiss him right there.

But her head is throbbing.

It’s him.

He’s the missing piece.

He’s the empty spot inside of her.

He’s the boy in all of the paintings.

He’s why she’s never been interested in anyone else.

But where has he been?

How could she forget him?

“What did I just see?” she asks him.

“I don’t know. Do...do you remember how many times we’ve met this life?” he asks her as he takes her hand.

“Nine, this time.”

“Fuck, you weren’t suppose to remember. You were supposed to move on and have a happy life without me.”

“Not a chance,” she replies as she squeezes his hand. “What did you say about a bird before?”

He looks around the café. “They’re calling an ambulance. Go to the hospital first. We can talk later.”

“Are you just going to leave me and erase my memories again?” she hisses at him.

“No, I won’t. Just let them take you to the hospital.”

“You’re coming with me,” she tells him as she tightens her grip of his hand.

He sighs before he nods. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to. Fine, you win. I’ll go with you.”

“Good,” she says as she smiles at him.

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Mikasa is being fussed over by Levi.

The boy.

No.

The man from her dreams was leaning against the wall.

"I'm fine," she tells her dad for the hundredth time.

"Are you sure?" Levi asks, concerned.

She nods.

"Do you want me to drive you back to your apartment?" Levi asks her.

She shakes her head.

"My friend will take me," she says looking over at the man from her dreams.

Levi sighs.

"Don't think we've met. I'm Levi. Mikasa's dad," he says sticking his hand out.

"You're taller," the man says.

"What?" Levi stares at him.

"Nothing. I'm Eren," he says taking Levi's hand and shaking it.

Mikasa gasps. She thought she had made up that being his name.

Eren looks over at her.

"You okay?" Levi asks, dropping Eren's hand and walking over to her.

"Thought I saw a mouse," she lies and she looks down.

Eren holds back a laugh. It comes out like a snort.

Levi's eyes narrow as he looks at Eren.

"Gabi is going to be worried. I'll have her call you when she gets home from practice. I didn't want to worry her," Levi says.

"Go. She'll be worried if you're not there," Mikasa assures Levi.

Levi leaves after a moment.

It's just the two of them.

After Mikasa signs the paperwork, she's released. She walks with him to his car. It's a large black SUV. She gets into the passenger seat.

"I could be a psychopath. You don't even know me. I could kill you," he warns her as he gets into the driver's seat.

"You won't. You'd never hurt me unless you had to."

He's staring at her.

"This curse is worse than the last. I just want to kiss you and you have no idea who I am."

"You're Eren. That's all that matters."

His eyes fill with tears causing him to look away from her.

"Why don't you ever fall in love with someone else? I wanted this. I wanted it to always be you and me but this...this is worse. I have all the memories and you're just...here…" He's leaning against the steering wheel. His grip tightens around it.

She reaches out and sweeps a bit of hair out of his face.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't remember," she confesses.

"Don't be," he whispers. "You wouldn't love me if you did. The truth is I don't deserve your love. I'm a monster. A devil. A demon. Nothing I did was noble. I did because I needed all of you to be safe. I needed you to live long happy lives. But you never do. Ever. You just wait for me. Why are you always waiting for me? Why am I always asking when I already know that you don't know the answer?"

Her expression changes. It makes her sad to see him like this. Why is he like this? How many times have they lost one another?

She feels this insane amount of love for him but it makes no sense for her to. She's never met him but in her dreams. She's just taking everything at face value. She didn't question any of it.

Eren is staring at her. He takes two fingers and presses them to her forehead. Mikasa gasps. The red string of her dreams is there. It is linking the two of them together. She touches the string. It's there and she can tug it. She yanks on it causing Eren to almost knock his head into her face.

She laughs when the string disappears as he removes his two fingers from her forehead.

"Let's go home," she says. "I'll tell you how to get to my apartment."

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Eren is laughing when he pulls up to Mikasa's apartment building.

"What's so funny?" She asks him as he pulls into the space. "And you can't park there. It's for residents…" her words are stopped but him reaching across her into the glove box. He pulls out a resident placard and hangs it on the rear view mirror.

"You live here too?"

He nods.

"I'm in 4C," she tells him.

"I'm in 1A. So that's probably why. Plus I'm in med school," he informs her as he gets out of the car.

"You really are a doctor," she says in amazement as she gets out of her side.

"Not yet. Getting there though. Zeke...I mean my dad...he's working his ass off to help pay for it. You may not understand this but it's so ironic because Grisha is Zeke's boss and Tom is his dad. The universe loves irony," he laughs.

She shakes her head, not understanding any of that.

"Let's go to your place. Mine is not very clean," he tells her as they walk into the building.

"I don't have a lot of places to sit," she tells him.

"It's fine. At least it's not a bright white room," he sighs as he runs a hand through his hair.

"I like how your hair is short now with the undercut," she says. She frowns, not understanding why she said that.

He just grins at her.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't…"

"It's fine," he says as he starts walking up the stairs.

She follows him.

They don't speak again until they're inside of the apartment.

There are paintings everywhere.

Mikasa wasn't lying when she said there were not many places to sit. There are more easels than anything else. Eren wanders around, looking at each one.

He stops in front of a painting.

It's the garden they had been in.

There's a silhouette of a young boy with fireflies in his hair.

"Is this me?" He asks her.

She nods.

"When I lost my memories...I didn't know who it was," she confesses.

"You're a good artist," he mumbles as he continues walking.

"Do you want tea or something? I have coffee too if you don't like tea. Or I think I might have some juice or pop left. I was supposed to go grocery shopping after I got off work but that didn't happen. But there's water too," she rambles.

He's smiling at her again.

He's looking at her like she's the one who hung the stars in space.

She's never had someone look at her like that. She's never wanted someone to look at her like that.

But he is.

And her heart is screaming that it loves him. That she loves him.

She doesn't even know him.

"I'm fine. Thanks though."

She nods before she makes her way over to the small loveseat of a couch. She sits down and he joins her. Even with the small contained space, they manage to put some distance between one another.

"I'm sure you have a ton of questions," he starts.

"Have you always loved me?" She asks him.

He swallows.

"Every day. Every life. Just you. Always you," he tells her as his green grey eyes meet her grey eyes.

She feels the pull of wanting to kiss him just like he had in the car.

"Why do you believe me so easily?" He mumbles as he looks away from her.

"Because you're the boy from my dreams. You always come when I'm sad," she tells him.

He looked over at her. "And I always will."

"Who were we before?" She asks him.

"Does it matter?"

"No. I don't care about that. Are you really the boy from my dreams?"

His eyes meet hers.

"Yes," he answers.

"Prove it," she tells him.

"We danced on the beach when your prom date stood you up. I took you to a garden with fireflies from a white room where we saw a string of fate connecting us together."

She throws her arms around him.

He freezes.

"I finally have a friend," she mutters before the tears escape.

But then she is crying.

His body relaxes and he holds her.

She's been alone and an outcast this entire time. She did it to herself. She has no friends from high school. She only had her sister. She's too much of a broken freak to keep anyone or let anyone in.

Eren's phone goes off.

"It's my roommate," he tells her before pulling out of her arms. "Hey, Armin," he says into the phone. "Just catching up with an old friend. No, I haven't eaten. I'll be down in a few." He ends the call and he stares at her. "I should go."

She nods.

"Do you work tomorrow?"

She shakes her head.

"I only have class until noon. Armin has class until 8:00 pm tomorrow. If you want to talk more tomorrow…" he trails off.

"Okay," she whispers.

"You should eat too. Try to get some rest. I promise not to invade your dreams tonight unless you really need me. See you later, Mikasa," he tells her as he walks out her door.

Mikasa locks the door behind him.

She should eat.

And paint.

And do anything that doesn't involve thinking about today.

#invisstring #my writing

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