Red and White Roses- PJM Hanahaki Disease AU Chapter 1

Genre: Hanahaki AU, a little bit of fluff, quite a bit of angst

Pairing: Hanahaki Park Jimin x Hanahaki Reader

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, mentions of Bipolar Disorder, description of verbal fighting

Summary: Everything in your life is spiraling out of control, your parents are getting divorced, 2 of your siblings are moving in with your father, you have to find an apartment and continue your English major at college and panic attacks are becoming a frequent thing, but what puts the cherry on top of your anxiety built cake? The name engraved into your right hand and the flowers growing in your stomach.

Post Date: 2/2/19

Word Count: 2,126 words, 11,510 characters 

A/N: Hi, this is my first fan fiction on Tumblr and I’m not very familiar with writing these things, but please leave your opinions and critiques in the comments/ notes??? Enjoy!!!

Chapter One II Chapter Two II Chapter Three II Chapter Four

You woke up with a sigh and a heavy heart. You can hear the echo of your parents’ voices from last night, the memories of it flashing in your mind like a feature film.

This was a normal night in the Lee household. The night had started off normal enough, having takeout for dinner, watching the movie your siblings, Lisa (7), Jackson (13), Jisoo (14) and you, Y/N (19) had picked out that afternoon. Your father came home at 8:00pm that night, clearly tired shown by the dark circles under his eyes. He smiled at his children spending time together. You had come home from Busan to Daegu for Winter Break, the stress of college being washed away the second you set foot in your childhood home. You turned your gaze to your father, smiling at him before clambering off the couch and into his arms. “Appa! You’re home! I’ve missed you.” You say, sounding like Lisa, a hearty chuckle erupting from his throat. 

“I missed you too, little one.” He responded, using the name he always called since you were 2 years old. Your siblings jumped up from the couch, greeting their father as well. Soon after, the mood died down when your mother entered the room, clad in a fuzzy nightgown. 

“You’re home late, jagi.” She grumbled, her voice sounding suspicious of his whereabouts this late at night.

“ You know how it is, signature after signature. It was just a lot of paperwork.” He said in his sweet tone. Your mother threw him a look before turning to exit the room. 

9:00PM rolled around and your in your room, covering Lisa’s ears and cuddling Jisoo and Jackson close. Your parents are fighting...again. This was never an irregular occurrence. Your parents had been struggling to keep their marriage together for about 18 months now. It all started when your father was seen with another woman he insisted was a co-worker. Your mother didn’t believe him..at all. This time, they were fighting about them, the children. You had always been a second mother to them, as your mother was ‘busy’ but when you moved into your college dorm, the first night, Jisoo had called you to tell you that your mother was screaming at Jackson for no apparent reason. The older ones knew it was because of your mother’s severe case of Bipolar Disorder. Lisa was sobbing and shaking with fear, Jackson was curled up into your arm and Jisoo was hugging her knees to her chest. After about an hour or so, the shouting and screaming died down and now there was only the soft hiccups coming from Lisa filling the room. Another hour passed when there was a knock on your door. You got up from your bed opened the door. Your father stood there, tears staining his cheeks, his tall and slim build towering over you. He told you to bring your siblings into the living room. Anxiety shot up your spine, afraid about what was going to happen. The last time they had had a family meeting, Jackson had snuck out of the house to go to a party hosted by his friends and gotten drunk off his face. 

You, Jisoo, Jackson and little Lisa walked to the living room, the looks and aura both your parents gave off already gave you a bad feeling, but looking at your siblings made you even more scared. To say they were all scared would be an understatement. Your parents looked around at everything except each other and their children. Your mother finally cleared her throat and looked straight at you. “Kids, you know that your father and I love you all very much, but we have made the decision to get a d-divorce.” Your mother choked out the last word, her eyes brimming with tears. You had always knew this would come sooner or later, but you didn’t expect it to hit that hard. Jackson was the first to cry, then Jisoo, then yourself and finally the baby of the family, Lisa. While you cried, your father explained that when Winter Break ends, Jackson and Jisoo would move in with him on the other side of Daegu so they were closer to their school, Lisa would stay with your mother and you would go back to Busan and live in your dorm until the end of the year, then you would buy an apartment. The information sunk in with everyone, but Jisoo didn’t want to leave Lisa all by herself. Jisoo knew she had no choice, she knew she couldn’t win this fight but still tried. With that said, you all trudged off into your seperate rooms (except Jisoo and Lisa who shared one) all in an emotional wreck.

You finally gathered up the courage to flip the blankets back and get ready for the day. Normally, you would be working at the small cafe run by your best friend/ boss, Nancy. However, you had called her last night before you went to bed, telling her you couldn’t make it to work. When she asked why, you broke down into tears, spilling everything to her, letting her listen to your family problems. She consoled you, telling you that she understands and that’s she’s there if you need her. You smiled as you realized she used the same words that you did when her parents got divorced and the times she was dumped by her 2 previous boyfriends before finding Namjoon, the only boyfriend you approved of. You walked into your bathroom, looking at your (disgusting might you add) reflection. Your hair was disheveled from the little sleep you got last night, your eyes are red and puffy from crying, yesterday’s mascara and eyeliner (the only the makeup you really wore on the daily) left smudges on your cheeks, reminding you of the tsunami of tears you spilled last night. You sighed once more before disrobing and having a warm shower, calming your tense and depressed mindset. The warm water hit your skin like thousands of bullets, hoping to wash away your pain. Even though you knew it couldn’t, it was a nice pain numbing treatment. You change into a pair of grey sweats, a plain white bra underneath a twilight (as in the color, not the movie/book series) purple shirt. You stepped out of your room, which was actually the guest room, dull and white, and into the kitchen. There you meet Jisoo who is in the same state as you, staring at hot cup of peppermint tea in front of her. “Hey, sis. Hope you got at least some sleep last night.” You chimed at her, breaking her gaze away from the tea. She smiled weakly and halfheartedly. She sighed before getting up from the table, walking towards you before she rested her head on your chest. You wrapped your arms around her. You two stayed like that until Jackson walked, looking even worse than the both of you put together. His hair was sticking up in all directions, dark rings circled his under eyes, his eyeballs red and his sockets puffy from crying. He looked like a shell of his usual bubbly and annoyingly loud personality. You unwrapped one of your arms from around Jisoo and scooped him into your hug. You held the two of them close to your chest, squeezing your eyes shut to stop the tears. You loved your siblings more than anything, they meant the world to you and to see them so quiet and sad shattered your heart into a million pieces. You released your younger siblings from your ‘big sis bear hug’ as they liked to call it. You carded your fingers through their hair with the kind look in your eye you saved for only the people you cared for the most. 

“Hey, how about I make pancakes, bacon and eggs for breakfast. My treat.” You whispered to them, a wide smile spreading across your face. Jackson and Jisoo smiled weakly as you busy yourself finding pans to cook breakfast with.

A few weeks had gone by since your parents had revealed they were getting getting divorced and you were now helping Jisoo pack up here belongings into the last of the boxes in her room. It was last time you would get to see her before going back in less than three hours, as your train to Busan (anyone get my reference) left soon. You placed her trophies from talent shows and dancing competitions in bubble wrap before placing them in a cardboard box labelled ‘Fragile’. You looked into Jisoo’s dark eyes as she signed for the umpteenth time that morning. “Ji, what’s wrong? You keep sighing, what’s going on?” You asked her in your caring yet motherly tone, placing the last of her trophies in the box. She sighed once more while holding a photo frame in her hands loosely. 

“It’s just...I’m not gonna see Lisa for what feels like forever. She’s so important to me, and now that I can’t protect her or cuddle and calm her when she has nightmares, it scares me. What if she gets bullied at school for not having a father figure in her life? What if she gets bullied and I’m not there to protect her? What if sh-” You cut Jisoo off, placing one of your hands on her shoulder. 

“Jisoo, I said the exact same thing about you to Mom when I moved to Busan. I was so anxious and upset and angry with myself that I wasn’t gonna be able to watch you grow up into a woman and everyone else would. Don’t worry about it, you have your whole life to worry, but right now, focus on yourself. I am always a phone call away if you get worried.” She smiles at you when you give her the same kind eyes you had always shown her. 

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Yes, lil sis?”

“Thank you.” 

“Anything for you, sis.”

As your mom pulled into the train station with all of your siblings in the backseat, you exhaled deeply. You opened the door and pulled yourself out of the passenger side, rounding to the trunk. You opened it and pulled out your suitcase, pulling up the handle and rolling it to the left side of the car. Your siblings are stood there, looking at you with sad puppy eyes. You smiled at your siblings’ hilarious attempts to get you to stay.

“Aish, guys, I don’t want to go back either, I want to stay with you guys too. But school is important and I want to graduate. Come here.” You rushed towards them, scooping them into one of your ‘Big Sis Bear Hugs’. You held them close to you, wishing you didn’t have to part ways with your family. You sighed as you pulled away and placed a kiss on each of their foreheads. You grabbed your suitcase once more, you turn to the Daegu Train Station. You pulled out of your pocket and placed in your earphones before turning on your heel to wave to your siblings, who have all squashed their faces against their windows as they waved back. You chuckled to yourself and walked into the train station. You bought your ticket and scanned it on the gate to the station. The train didn’t take as long as you’d expected it to take. You walked onto the train with a mob of strangers, which would normally freak you out and cause your anxiety to trigger, but with your favorite artist playing in your ears, you felt as if you had nothing to worry about or lose. Your heart still ached with the thoughts from last night of course, but music always helped you feel at least a tiny bit better.

Your dorm mate and best friend, Jimin said he’d pick you up from the train station in Busan. This normally wouldn’t be a problem but having him as your dorm mate for the second year in row, you had developed a huge slight crush on him. However, he wasn’t like the rest of your high school crushes. You had never been this close nor shy about a crush like you had with Jimin. He was somewhat different. When you saw him at the train station, you called out his name, making him look up from his phone. He smiled and rushed over to you, pulling you into a friendly hug. You felt the tips of your ears and cheeks flush pink at the very least. When he pulled away, he took your suitcase and gave you his sweet eye smile. The first time he spoke these words was when you felt the slight itch on your right hand.

“Welcome back, Y/N”

Chapter/ Part 1 Finish.

A/N: Hey, Kookie all the way down here, I know this was really long but I enjoy long parts. It just gives me something to look forward to. So let me know I did. Like I said at the start of the chapter, I would really appreciate it if you left some tips and critiques about it and if you would like to see more and don’t be afraid to send me requests, I am so ready for whatever you have for me!!! Love you my Taecups