can i confess to something? after all this time... i'm not over the cruelness i experienced. i know i'm a complicated person, but i know how to treat people with love and with respect. and i did just that. nothing i did even remotely warranted the treatment i received. i tried opening a dialogue and resolving the situation every single time someone was shutting a door in my face. i rationalised all of this by telling myself that i'm devastated but also i shouldn't be, cause it's always the same story, someone obliterating my self esteem, like wow, this is getting boring, same plot over and over again. but i realised that i'm hurt cause the way it happened was straight up cruel. i came home one day and my future came crashing down without me ever doing something to deserve that. that's what's keeping me up at night, that's what gives me random stabbing pains and cold chills during the day.

WHY IS HE IMMEDIATELY CRYING

Hello darling Naff~ I am jumping on the song rec bandwagon! though you may need to squint for this one. I offer Run To You by Pentatonix, something of an epilogue song for Eclipse towards Sunny and Moonie. He did his best, which turned out to be his worst, but in the end it was still all for them. Maybe he can still find some peace? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UZDiTJrfqc

Hi, babe! ♥

Ngl, this is perfect for an epilogue song for Eclipse. It's making me emotional. It's the finality, the acceptance of the end, and the understanding that the damage was done despite his best intentions, even to the ones he swore he'd always protect.

I've been settling scores I've been fighting so long But I've lost your war And our kingdom is gone How shall I win back Your heart which was mine I have broken bones and tattered clothes I've run out of time

I'll run, I'll run I'll run run to you I'll run, I'll run I'll run run to you, oh

A feeling of betrayal

Do you remember in the first scene with Crowley? He is a serpent and whispering to Eve’s ear. His whispers seem surnatural. They have this magical sound. What if a demon’s temptation is more than just words and really was a power and aptitude by itself only usable by demons.

Now imagine this.

Crowley tries to convince Aziraphale to leave with him before Armaggeddon. Aziraphale refuses, still loyal to his side. He is also, rightfully enough, absolutely terrified of what the other angels could do if they found out he deserted. Crowley starts to feel desperate. He knows of the savagery of the other demons and fear the feeling of self-entitlement of the other angels take away the best of themselves, for what was left of ‘’good’’ in them. 

In fear for his angel’s safety, ignoring the disapprobation coming from his own head, he decides, for the first time since his fall, to tempt an angel.

With all the charisma and magic to his disposal, he whispers to the angel with the same conviction he used with Eve, so many millenials ago. 

The words die on his tongue as his breath gets stucked in his throat, his eyes screwed in the angel’s. What he sees in Airaphale’s eyes disgusts him, because it is directed at him and, even worse, totally justified.

The angel’s eyes radiate the feeling of betrayal that is bringing him to tears. 

Crowley feels his heart, that he thought dead and buried, squeeze in his chest and hurt him so much that even his fall was, in comparison, a little tickle.

@neil-gaiman @neil-gaiman @neil-gaiman

On Saturday I hung out with my 84-year-old ecologist great uncle and he stopped in mid-conversation (abt the return of the whooping crane) and very seriously told me that "you can go one of two ways, as a naturalist"; either you keep sight of the hopeful possibilities, or you don't. I'm one of nature's wretched little pessimists but when an old ecologist literally holds your hands in his and tells you, "don't despair," you have to try, I feel.

So this tweet made a real good point and got me thinking about this scene:

As mentioned in their tweet, "you don't 'beg for mercy' for a job," and here he sounds so scared and desperate, like he's had to do this A LOT before with the directors and it's so... sad.

(more under the cut)

Before he finds out the truth about Eden, he believed they saved him from his former life and gave him new opportunities to continue his dreams, but do you think having to needlessly beg to keep your position as literally being the face of Eden out of fear you'll be replaced and thrown right back out to your old life is a so called dream come true?

Eden even made a trailer for a movie about his life to fame, showing how everyone was rejecting him as a person, which they definitely made it more simplified like I KNOW he was getting way worse treatment than what was shown.

My main point is that despite believing in Eden's motives (before knowing the truth), he still wasn't truly happy deep down. He was STILL getting rejected and slandered by society, and he knew that deep down, so it's not surprising how the possibility of him losing his job made him have a whole breakdown and do the things he did to try and cope.

He quite literally has no one to lean to and hasn't had anyone since showing up to Eden besides the directors (because he probably believed they were treating him fairly and with respect), but... yeah.

He wanted to make a difference, to give hope to hybrids, and he thought he was doing just that. Despite the way the directors and everyone thought of him, despite how alone he felt, he still thought he was achieving his dreams and sharing that onto others

and yet... he was being used this entire time. None of it was true, all the hard work and the things he went through was for nothing.

Everything that Eden has done, and he was the face of it all... it's just devastating.

Ok, ok, ok, here me out.

In s1, Aziraphale says that he eats sushi because it's "what humans do".

In s2, he says that falling in love is "what humans do"...

So...

Yeah

Desperate times ask for desperate measures aka I find myself unsure of how I am going to pay my rent & bills this winter so I am wondering if anyone would be interested in exchanging some money for my drawing services? I don't do prints cause I don't know how lol but I can mail you the actual drawing. Here's some of the stuff I've drawn this year:

I can draw your blorbo, your bias, your mom, anyone really, just need a good reference picture. Price would depend on the picture, the size, if it's b&w or coloured and shipping (i live in the EU). If anyone's interested lmk and we'll figure it out together? 🙏🙏

Look at the beautiful piece I commissioned the talented @irishyuri to draw! Based on the ending of my merwenthur fanfic, because that scene kind of wrote itself and I ended up liking it a lot, actually. So, if you've read and liked it, here's a lovely visual to go with it <3 (If you haven't read it, I won't spoil it. You know, just in case you want to check it out).

My ZoLu headcanon is that Luffy always had trouble with falling asleep when he was a child. Ace would always sleep next to him and that helped.

After Ace dead it didn´t just come back but got worse, because he also would wake up and wonder where his brother was in his sleepy mind, before he remembers that Ace will never be there anymore.

Of course Zoro understands what is happening with his captain after he heard Luffy, almost loudles, whine in his sleep. He spontan decided to just take his captain in his arms to show him that he is not alone.

Luffy wakes up from it, but hearing Zoros heartbeat and feeling his warmth let him fall to sleep instantly.

From that night on it is isn´t unusual when Zoro takes one of his naps that Luffy is using him as a pillow and is sleeping with a smile on his face.

And not even Sanji says anything, to happy that their captain doesn´t have dark rings under his eyes anymore. (And if he looks longingly at Usopp sometimes, than that is his secret.)

Okay, the last bit of Sanuso got me and I love it. But I love everything about this, too. I think most people tend to ignore the way Ace's death affects Luffy and I just absolutely adore making this guy suffer the most horrible trauma responses woohoo I'm evil (I'm a writer, which is the same thing). And Luffy not being able to sleep is so,,, Because tbh I think he had a hard time falling asleep already when it was just ASL because of his very obvious hyperactivity that wasn't always good and fun, most of the time making him unable to relax at all. He needed his brothers, then. Then Sabo dies, and he only has Ace. Nightmares become a thing, but his brother is there to help. Having him close has always made him feel safer. Then, Ace is the one to die and his whole world falls apart. He can't sleep anymore, both because of his nightmares and the anxiousness.

But the fact that Zoro is there makes it better. He can finally sleep peacefully. And this headcanon makes me so so so happy and sad at the same time,,,

i love EVERYTHING there is to love about this picture

he's so important to me

Station 19 - 6x08

VARGASTOBER - day 2 : johnny c.

The Rosemary Tree is the first time I've had to put down a book so I could sob over how beautiful it was.

Thinks about how. Gloreth only starts looking at Nimona differently/strangely when her parents call her a "monster". Just throws that label with such a negative connotation on her. Gloreth fucking fights for Nimona immediately in the beginning saying that she's her friend and never once looks at her with ridicule until her mom just holds her by the shoulders and tells her she's a monster, straight in the eye, straight in the face. And just the word is enough to cause the change.

Nimona's getting fucking attacked and prodded and Gloreth doesn't even feel sorry for her just because she's now re-contextualizing everything around her but with that word. I'm so sick. She looks not in hesitance but at disbelief before she runs away. She sees Nimona trying to defend herself from literal Danger in any way she can (she's just a kid and she's fighting with people who won't listen, never will, people that she can't get through) but just sees that as more proof of her being violent, monstrous. She sees her friend all alone, with the odds and the world stacked against her despite them being. so similar but just tells her to go back to the shadows.

And like. Of course she believes those words calling Nimona a monster and takes them to heart. Her parents, the ones she would probably trust most are the ones that told her that. And she's young, she doesn't know much about the world or much better. And of course, her parents and the whole village don't know any better. They didn't see what she saw. They don't know or feel the need to know much more than the definition of the word "monster". But it hurts. God it hurts. It's wrong. It's not fair. It's really not fair.

And it causes this whole legend that will stay with Nimona to ridicule her for generations and generations and birth this system that she's trapped by and causes everyone to be so brainwashed. The one that makes people scared and build walls. That births unecessary distrust.

God. Even in the scroll illustrating Nimona and Gloreth, Nimona is portrayed as such a bigger and scarier threat than she ever could be or would be, until Nimona internalized and gave into those images and despair of course. It's not fucking fair.

Thinking about how when the villagers saw Nimona as a "normal" person they were happy for her just living her life and playing with her friend, she was just another kid being happy like she and every ("normal", apparently) person deserves to be, and they were allowing her to be happy then when they find out what she really is they hate her. They call her a monster and drive her out immediately. They don't look into the details that contradict the stigma, they just feel betrayal when they weren't even the ones who were betrayed (Nimona couldn't fucking help being who or what she was. And she was her own person. She was still. A someone. Why do things have to be different now?). I'm so sickkk.

Thinks about how Nimona feels so hopeless as to just. Accept and yield to that label. That label that was passed down to Gloreth. To the whole world. Such simple but awful words. Aughhhhhhhhhhh

Another post I saw talks about how this is a movie about how hate is taught. And oh my god it is. Hate it taught. It's done so simply yet so, painfully effectively. So devastatingly. And that hate teaches people to hate the world back. God I fucking loooove this movie

Also Nimona's such a Creature /pos /affectionate she's so relatable I fucking love her and I'm insane okay that's the post bye