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1moremilgram-enjoyer · 7 months

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I'M STILL ALIVE, I bet you thought you were free from my annoyance for just a split second, didn't you? Kiyahahaha! Ahem... So I'm saving Kazui and Amane for last because you've already talked about them. and the only two people that are in front of them is Es and Jackalope ! Triple A battery (Aro/Ace/Agender) and a Minecraft Rabbit. Intriguing

Hey! Was wondering when you would send this in. It’s gonna be real awkward when we’re done here and I actually have to come up with things to post by myself lol. Unless people keep sending me questions about specific theories like with the Shidou Incident :v /lh

CW: Mentions of death and cults.

Starting with Jackalope because- does it even count as a character? It’s more of a plot device than anything. I’m pretty sure I could point to several background characters with more interesting things going on (Rei, Hinako, all the people in Bring it On who I will make a post about one day mark my words).

That’s hyperbole, of course. Jackalope is cool enough, it does what it needs to do, and while I haven’t read all the minigrams yet, it seems like a funny dude in those. It serves well enough as the somewhat-charismatic mascot that guides the audience surrogate (Es) through the insanity of the plot. I… could however do without the weird comments about some of the girls being pretty or whatever. Why are these kind of mascots always oddly horny?

Anyways, I really don’t know what else to say. I think it’s neat only Es hears it talk, that’s just funny. And the fact it cooks all the meals is just a very nice image.

Also if it’s a Minecraft rabbit does that mean I can take its feet and make a jump boost potion? How does this fit into the lore I wonder.

Whatever, who cares about that thing? We gotta talk about the teen, the myth, the legend! No interest in romance (that we know of), vaguely uncomfortable at the mere mention of sex, and uses they/them pronouns! Wow, Es is just like me fr! There is a reason I have them as my pfp, you know.

I love Es. As a concept, it’s already hilarious that the Warden of the Hell Prison is a fifteen year old amnesiac, but the fact they take it so seriously is incredible. Not just because of the very cool philosophical implications of their very peculiar worldview, but also because it’s just objectively funny. They woke up, no idea what’s going on or how they got there, immediately decided they would devote themselves wholeheartedly to the task set out by a rabbit with horns who only they can hear talk. And then sang a banger to kick the series off, Undercover goes hard.

Speaking of songs, I’ve always wondered if we’re ever gonna get another non-cover Es song. I think they deserve it, as a treat. It’d be great to get some more insight on them.

At least the covers are really good, and can be kinda funny at times. I haven’t listened to all of them, but Es’ somewhat emotionless delivery is sometimes really funny. Like, Fuuta will be over there shouting his heart out, then cut to Es like “you’re the crazy one. bang bang bang.” God I love them.

But the main part of Es’ character are all the VDs, where we get to see them really talk a bunch. And wow this kid is so silly! (Read: they’re immensely fucked up). I really want to know more about them.

Their views on morals and justice are especially interesting to me. They have such a blind faith in Milgram and in their own judgement, it’s impressive. It’s especially funny seeing them try to piece together some kind of cohesive logic as to why they voted people Innocent or Guilty out of our dumbassery.

And of course, this pride in their position and their occupation is great for foiling with several of the characters around. I want to see what they do in the Kotoko VD this Trial, I need them to go off on her ass it’s gonna be great. Fuuta’s second VD also was great for them, such an interesting dynamic. Especially because through Es, Milgram can essentially speak directly to us and confront us in our judgements. I think it’s fantastic.

And then Amane. The parallels man. The unwavering faith in a collective of really fucked up people (Amane’s cult or Milgram fandom which is worse?) guiding their actions, the way Amane sees Milgram as a potentially ideal world the same way Es has full faith in it already, the obsession with punishing wrongs, the fact they’re children!

Listen, I don’t think I need to copy paste the Puerto Rico line. You know what it is, I know what it is. It’s the most out of pocket, crazy comeback I’ve ever seen in my life. The fact it’s 100% a total lie just makes it even funnier, like Es really just said that for no reason huh? The sibling dynamic with these two is strong, I love them so much. 00-03-08 found family where the fics at?

Also speaking of Amane, you know that theory that she may have DID? I think it’d be very funny if next trial a different alter rolls up and stabs Es knowing only one of the alters is affected by Milgram rules. This is why we have to inno Amane, so our Warden doesn’t die before the end of Trial 3 you see? I’m spinning the Es post into inno Amane propaganda, how about that?

Anyways, enough Amane. So you know how Es’ amnesia is basically the biggest part of their character after their devotion to Milgram? That’s why I love when we get small indications of how Es is actually like beyond that.

Es: [Talking about Kazui potentially cheating on his wife] It’s a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is. Kazui: It’s personal? E: Yeah. That’s right. K: That’s strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a Warden, you had some things you dislike, but… E: … K: Isn’t it unusual to openly reveal a personal dislike as a personal dislike?

See? They have a personal dislike! They have individual thoughts! What’s the deal with that?! Tell me more Es please I wanna know what your deal is! Why do you hate that kind of thing I am begging hands and knees I gotta know! Unless there is no reason which is also perfectly understandable.

Es: Then…what were you aiming for with…that is…your compensated, dating…. Yuno: Why are you stammering? *Gasp* You're so pure!

Es will talk about shit like murder and organ harvesting without a stutter then get squeamish about dating and sex. Oh they just like me fr fr.

Jackalope: [tongue click and raises head] Es: Would you like me to pet you? J: NO! Open the damn door! You can tell just by looking, can’t you?! E: Ah. [footsteps] I have a question. Even though you can’t open a door by yourself, why do you act like such a hotshot?

I forgot about this line from the Es VD but it’s honestly so fucking funny. Es woke up and was already a snarky bastard, God I love them.

The point is that Es isn’t just an audience stand-in blank slate, not fully. And I love them for that. Especially when sometimes their views very evidently contradict the fandom’s majority.

Es will be like “oh Shidou you are the type of person I hate the most. Anyways let me hit that Innocent button, how about that, how does that make you feel bitch?” And of course there’s the inherent silliness of things like “sure Muu committed violent and near-remorseless murder, but Fuuta has a Twitter. I think the Guilty one here is obvious.” Why does Es even trust us anymore?

I have a lot of thoughts about the Legal Adult in Puerto Rico According to Themselves and Themselves Only, but I kinda don’t wanna go look at every single VD ever released at the moment. Might make a more detailed analysis… some day. Don’t hold your breath though.

Final note is the eleventh cell thing from their VD.

Es: What about over there? At eleven o’clock. In that room… Is there no prisoner? Its door is even older than the others—rusty. There’s no lock on the outside as well.

While I don’t know what the deal with it being older would be, currently what I’m predicting is that someone could eventually die because of Es’ (our) judgement, presumably after their song releases in Trial 3, and then Es would be considered a murderer by Milgram rules. Thus, they would need a cell, and they end up getting judged themselves. I think it’d be very fun, though obviously I’d prefer no one dies. I’m not sure there’s any way to prevent that, though, even if Shidou goes unharmed this Trial I feel there’s enough conflict that someone will eventually die. I’m getting off track.

Anyways, hope that was enough for now! Take care!

#jackalope #es #000 #gotta tag the number because just es is a dumb tag #and i aint namedropping the series cause i dont want this in main tag

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kittysukagasterfics · 3 years

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INCORRECT QUOTES: STUPID, STUPIDER, YET STUPIDER.

In which I finally toss V-0 into the mess because why not. There's a lil blurb about him over on Random's blog because i submitted a doodle sheet to her, you'll find it in the submissions tag.

Warnings for potentially suggestive wording, themes, and content on some of them because V-0 is an absolute weirdo. There's nothing explicit, but there's a little more weird than usual.

Ghost: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my &@#$s! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

X: WE GET IT, YOU'RE HAVING A WILLIAM SHATNER DAY.

Inversion, playing a VR game: You see, that’s the thing. It PROBABLY is fine. It’s PROBABLY 100% okay. There are PROBABLY no spiders in this headset.

Inversion: BUT- as you may be able to relate to- If you find a spider in your headset, and then have to put that headset on to play video games...

Inversion: YoU jUsT dOnT gEt ToO cOMfOrTaBlE.

V-0: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.

V-0: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

Memoryhead: There is SOMETHING wrong with you.

Z: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm &$@#ing +&-$ed.

Ghost: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

Creator: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than %$@#.

V-0: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

Everyone:

Sam: * … You don't get it.

Endis: Please stop talking.

Memoryhead: If you don't shut your mouth it'll be yours, you off brand my chemical romance disaster.

Sam: * You tell Memoryhead and Endis that they shouldn't be so mean to V-0.

Memoryhead: I'm sorry, have you met him?

Starscream: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

RGB, pointing: May I sit there?

Gaster: … That's my lap.

RGB: That doesn't answer my question, Doctor.

Z: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just in case.

Undyne: Uhh, Z, that's a coma.

Z, curling up in her blanket nest again: Sounds festive.

Sam, holding a fancy antique bottle: * Gaster wanted to drink out of this bottle but you don't know what's in here. Is this whiskey or perfume?

Memoryhead: Let me check.

Memoryhead: *chugs entire bottle*

Sam:

Gaster:

Memoryhead:

Memoryhead: It’s perfume.

Sam: * Do they think they'd actually notice if someone didn't cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? Like… how many times have they passed something on the street and they just didn't notice it?

V-0: Stay woke monster%@#+ers, your love is out there!!!!!

Gaster: … You know what? Not their point at all in any way whatsoever.

Sam: * But you're glad you could be an inspiration!

Memoryhead: What the %$@+ is wrong with you?!

Endis, having almost killed Gaster: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Memoryhead: Oh, sorry. Good morning, WHAT THE %$@# IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!

Aroz: Top 30 reasons why Aroz is not sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Z: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR &+)%ING @$= RIGHT NOW!!!

Aroz, running away: Oh $@#& oh $#%& oh $#%& oh $#%& oh $#%& oh $#%& oh $#%& OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH $#@% OH SH-

V-0: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you~.

Gaster: 10 times 0 is still 0, moron.

V-0, slapping his rear end like a degenerate: Jokes on you $#@'&, I can't do math!

Lucky: Bad things keep happening to us, like we have bad luck or something.

Z: Lucky, sweetness, we don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to us is because we're dumb$#%es.

V-0: Is letting someone win at chess sapio%$@#&- bottoming?

Z, covering Sam's ears: Do any of your braincells in that godforsaken skull of yours ever think before they give you words to speak???

Inversion: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Memoryhead: What did you do?

Inversion, putting out the fire on his coat: NOBODY DIED I SWEAR.

Memoryhead: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Inversion: NOTHING-

Inversion: *flees in terror through the ocean of worms on strings*

Memoryhead:

Memoryhead: Ah, that's what you did.

X: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Ray: I-I think you may mean- … uhh, m-mean cards...?

X, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

Memoryhead: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Rin Winterway: That's why I carry two swords.

Memoryhead and Agate: *gasp*

Agate: Ultimate lesbian power.

Memoryhead: I gotta start carrying two swords.

Sam: * Three words. Say them, and you're his.

Gaster: Three words.

Sam: * …

Lucky: %$@#.

Hope: We've got to work on your cursing.

Lucky: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing alread- You meant work on not cursing, I am a fool.

Z, in Doctor Conway's lab: Welcome, fellow idiots.

Sam: * Hi mom!

Z: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot.

Sam: * She underestimates your power.

Z: And you greatly overestimate the height of the bar. It is so much lower than you could even hope to reach, Sam. You will never be an idiot.

Sam, crying: * Take that back.

Z: First go do self care, then we'll talk.

Gaster, cuddled up to Sam: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Sam: * You want him to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Gaster, scuttling to the far corner, hissing like a feral cat: Absolutely not.

V-0: If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise!

Inversion: I… beg to differ…

V-0: Then beg.

Z: This is bothering me.

Endis: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Z: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

Z, pointing to V-0: It's the fact that he insisted on wearing fishnets that's bothering me.

Endis: … He's an adult skeleton and you are 83,000 years old?

Z: Sam is literally RIGHT HERE. Also my brain never evolved past the emotionally abused and anxiety ridden teenager stage.

Sam: * What do they think Z will do for a distraction?

Memoryhead: She'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

*Feral animatronic screaming*

*Loud killbill sirens*

Z: *exits the collapsing building unscathed as said building knocks over a nearby skyscraper and obliterates a news helicopter*

Everyone:

Lucky: ... Or she could do that. That works too.

I apologize for any psychological damage V-0 has caused, is causing, and will cause.

~~~~~~

I don’t know who V-0 is either so of course Sam hasn’t met him. Also, Sam will forever and always be everyone’s favorite lovable doofus. :)

#submission #incorrect quotes

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7r0773r · 4 years

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Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain

There are also the terms of the trade, the jargon. Every trade has one. You already know some of our terms. ‘86′ is the best known. A dish is 86′ed when there’s no more. But you can use the term for someone who’s just been fired, or about to be fired, or for a bar customer who’s no longer welcome.

One doesn’t refer to a table of six or a table of eight; it’s a six-top or an eight-top. Two customers at a table are simply a deuce. ‘Weeded’ means ‘in the weeds’, ‘behind’, ‘in the shit’ or ‘dans la merde’ — a close cousin and possible outcome of being ‘slammed’, ‘buried’ or ‘hit’.

A waitron or waitron unit is an old-school ’70s term — gender non-specific — for floor personnel, who are also, at staff mealtime, referred to as the floor or the family or simply scum. And the meal itself becomes —particularly if it’s the usual trinity of chicken, pasta and salad — the shaft meal or the gruel.

Then there’s the equipment. Since the introduction of the Cuisinart, any food processor can be referred to as the Queez; the square and oblong metal sauce containers are six-pans or eight-pans depending on size, and the long, shallow ones hotels. The cook’s spoons with holes or slots are, unsurprisingly, female, and the unslotted ones, male.

Meez is mise-en-place: your set up, your station prep, your assembled ingredients and, to some extent, your state of mind. A la minute is made-to-order from start to finish. Order!, when yelled at a cook means ‘Make initial preparations’ such as searing, half-cooking, setting up for finishing. Fire! means ‘Finish cooking’ and get ready for ‘pick up’. Food ready to be picked up is put in the window or en la ventana — also called the pass, the slide or the shelf. The ‘slide’ refers to the slotted rack where dupes or tickets containing orders hang. So you could say, ‘What orders do I have hanging?’ and the reply could be, ‘You got two steak’ on order for the deuce on five, three soles are fired.’ A cook might ask for an all-day, a total number of a particular item both ordered and fired, with temperatures, meaning degrees of doneness. And on the fly means Rush!

A wipe means just what it sounds like: a last-minute plate-cleaning. Marijuana or mota or chronic is chopped parsley. Jiz is any reduced liquid, like demi-glace. When one adds whole butter to jiz, one is mounting, as in monter-au-beurre. Cook well-done translates to ‘Burn it!’ or ‘Murder it!’ or ‘Kill it!’ When one finds oneself waiting too long for a well-done steak to finish cooking, and it’s holding up the rest of the order, one can suggest throwing it in the jukebox, or giving it a little radar love in the micro or microwave.

The latex surgical gloves we rarely wear are anal research gloves, and one usually puts them on with some theatrical flourish, snapping and grinning menacingly, accompanied by suggestions to ‘Turn left and cough’ or ‘Grab your ankles, ’cause here comes papi chulo’. Those paper toques are coffee filters or clown hats, the checked pants we all wear, simply checks, our jackets and aprons, whites.

When the boss arrives, it’s ‘Elvis is in the building’ or ‘Pssst, desastre es aquí! And the usual nicknames apply to any and all: cooks, waiters, busboys and runners alike. Crude irony abounds. Cachundo, meaning ‘piece of ass’, might be applied to a particularly homely runner. Caliman, meaning ‘strong man’, is reserved for a weak cook, Rayo, or ‘flash’ to a slow-poke; Baboso, or ‘drooling idiot’ to, well, any drooling idiot. Any blond, well-scrubbed waiter can become ‘Opie’, ‘Richie Cunningham’ or ‘Doogie Howser Motherfucker’. Stocky busboy? Sounds like Burro to me. When referring to themselves collectively, my Mexican carnales like La Raza or La M (pronounced la emaayy), or La Mafia. Externs from culinary school, working for free as a ‘learning experience’ — which by itself translates to ‘lots of work and no money’ — are quickly tagged as FNG (Fucking New Guy), or Mel for mal carne (bad meat). Army, short for ‘army cook’, or the classic but elegant shoe, short for ‘shoemaker’, are the perennial insults for a lousy or ‘slophouse’ cook.

There are the usual terms of endearment, all perfectly acceptable in casual conversation between cooks: motherfucker (a compliment), cocksucker, sunofbeech, dipshit, scumbag, scum-sucker, dumb-fuck, rat-bastard, slackjaw, idiota, bruto, animale, asesino, mentiroso, whining little bed-wetter, turd, tortuga, strunze, salaud, salopard, chocha podrida, pendejo, silly cunt, seso de pollo, spazz, goofball, bucket-head, chucho, papi-chulo, sweet-cheeks, cupcakes, love-chunks, culero, shit-stain, cum-gargler, and so on. Asshole, strangely, is serious, to be used only when genuinely angry, and any expression involving a person’s wife/mother/girlfriend/boyfriend or family member directly (with the notable exception of motherfucker) is strictly off-limits. You may well have seen your grill man’s wife jacking off motorists for spare change on West Street — but you don’t talk about it. Ever.

A lot of cook talk is transplanted from the fringes of military jargon. One doesn’t carry, one humps. To be set up is to be squared away. He sucks it up and endures, digs in for the rush, takes a bad hit if one station is disproportionately busy — is simply fucked or fucked in the ass when things go badly . . . at which point, one’s buddy hopefully steps in and bails you out, covers your ass, saves your bacon.

Aspirins are called crunchies because we eat them like candy. Finger cots are condoms, pronounced with Spanish inflection. The nail on which completed orders are spindled is the spike. Any round metal container placed in a water bath is a bain (pronounced bayn) from bain-marie pronounced baahn maree), or simply a crock. The life we live is la puta vida, ‘this bitch of a life’, and one might well bemoan a sorry state of affairs with a cry of Porca miseria! (Pig of misery!) or Qué doloré!, ‘What pain!’

The slide, when full of dupes, is called the board, as in, ‘The board is full’. Food currently being loaded by a runner or waiter is My hand, as in ‘Where’s that fucking steak?’ Reply: ‘My hand, Chef!’ A hot nut is used when an expeditor wants something now: ‘I gotta hot nut for that sole on table six’. This is often for a VIP, or ‘Very important Pendejo’ or PPX, or soignee muthafucka —meaning friend of the owner, or the man himself. So make sure to move that food out rush or STAT.

Applying what we’ve learned to a battlefield situation, one might find oneself saying: ‘I gotta hot nut for that six-top on seven, Cabrón! It’s been fired for ten fucking minutos, pinche tortuga. What? You don’t got yer meez together, asesino? Get that shit in the window, you seso de pollo pinche grill man — throw it in the fucking jukebox if you have to. The rest of the order my hand! And don’t forget to give it a wipe and some mota and a squirt of that red jiz on the way out, I got shit hanging here and you’re falling in the fucking weeds!’

‘Working,’ might come the reply. ‘I getting buried here. How come the sauté no getting slammed like me? I take it in the ass all night! How ’bout table ocho? Fire? I can go on eight?’

Which might inspire this: ‘Eight my hand, baboso! Eight fucking gone! Eight fucking dying en la ventana waiting for Doogie Howser Motherfucker to pick up! You got dead dupes back there, idiota — what the fuck are you doing? You are in the shit! Hey, Rayo! Step in and bail the culero out!’ (pp. 224-28)

#anthony bourdain #book quotes

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