#gotta outline this just incase i ever decide to sit down for four hours and write this all at once | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

abluescarfonwaston · 2 years

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I think Edgeworth should see the reboot of the Steel Samurai where the Magistrate and the Samurai come together at the end and kiss and get there happy ever after and sit in uncomprehending calm as Maya screams and cheers next to him. It is the first piece of happy ending queer media he has consumed with his whole heart. Years of internalized homophobia and Manfred, (as well as the death of Neil Marshall, his fiance) taught him that happy endings were not for people like him.

But now, now he sees they are. Stands up and goes to Wright at 930 at night and requests a date immediately. Or... The earliest convenience. Because he has decided he is done being miserable. He would like to be happy and loved and all the things the world told him he could not be because of who he was.

The man makes a list of everything he wanted to try, or has been told to try and didn’t.

He tours the coast with Maya trying out tea and ramen shops. Takes a comedy class (that he drops after the first day) with Larry. Enrolls in a tango class with Wright. (who immediately hurts his back and Lang is called in to replace him after soothing a bout of worry/jealousy for Wright) He calls Gumshoe up and they go to a shelter and pick him up a dog. Raymond and Sebastian help him collect and frame dozens of pictures to decorate his apartment. Kay takes him around an amusement park and rafting and one evening they quietly hold hands and visit their father’s graves together.

He also enrolls in therapy because “Many people have told me i should try it over the years.” (Yeah i don’t think they probably phrased it that way Miles)

He gets better. Turns out taking daily walks in the sun with Pess and vacations with Wright and hiring a few extra hands around the office Drastically improves his quality of life. Especially once the medications start working.

It’s not all good. There are days he curls up on the floor, overwhelmed by guilt. Guilt that he waited all this time to do this. Guilt that he feels happy. Guilt that he Doesn’t feel happy after deciding to be better. And Wright comes and offers him a hug. Which doesn’t fix the problem but takes a little of the weight off his shoulders for a moment. He updates the list. More hugs.

Sits in front of a camera. There is a banner behind him that says ‘its gets better’ that he is trying very hard to not say looks tacky. Adjusts his wedding ring and mentally rehearses his speech. About how:

“At age nine my father was killed in front of me and i thought the world had ended. I didn’t sleep soundly again until I was 25.” About how, “At 16 I thought i wouldn’t make it to 17 because I’d failed an exam and I thought my guardian was going to murder me. And I thought if he did, that would have been fair. And at 22 my fiance was murdered and we had kept it so secret that I wasn’t invited to his funeral and I swore off love forever.”

“And when I was 24 I attempted suicide because I believed with absolute certainty that I had ruined and wasted my entire life and could imagine no future where I was happy and deserved to be so. Happy endings do not belong to people like me.”

“And now I am 36 and married. Quite happily. So I hope you will believe me when I say that your life is not over. It need not be. You have not ‘missed your chance’ and you are never too old to start feeling better. It does... Get better.

#miles edgeworth #suicide mention #it gets better au #look we looked up brokeback mountain and 'gay man in love with another but who spends his whole life running from it out of fear'#and then holds his loves jacket and cries after he died #feels like the bad end for edgeworth #and i think some queer rep kids media would fix him #or rather inspire himself to fix him #Neil showing Miles brokeback mountain a queer movie he only knows gifs of #Miles who grew up on documentaries like Matthew shepard because manfred was a git who wanted him miserable: Why would you think id like this #Neil: ... maybe i was just hoping you would #Miles yeeting himself out the building before he can see the end: NOPE #Neil spent the next year making up how the story ended (cause he also didnt finish it) about their happy end #Miles; I know you're lying but your arms are warm and i would actually quite like a happy end. Preferably with not horse back riding #gotta outline this just incase i ever decide to sit down for four hours and write this all at once #as i feel in my bones would happen

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