I've been teasing her for months!! But at long last her ref is complete 🌷

I actually DON'T have a 5 page essay on her backstory this time (like I did for Ilari LMAO) but I do have some info about her if anybody is curious!

Name: Ione

Age: 25

Hair color: Silver

Eye color: Orangish-yellow

Element: Light

Grabbing info from the few posts I've talked about her already, Ione was originally a very famous singer, pretty much an idol within the world of ATS. She'd hold huge concerts that were always sold out and people from around the world would flock to see her perform. Eventually tho all of the attention started to attract the wrong kinds of people, and sooner or later Ione was "scouted" by a very rich man who wanted her all to himself. She was manipulated and blackmailed into signing a contract with him that would essentially end her touring and make it so that she would become a private singer for him. He basically chained her with this contract and so she disappeared from the public eye.

Ione soon discovered that other people with similar talents had also been gathered and trapped by this man's contracts. Among them was a prodigy violin player who she grew very close with. The two of them struggled under the demands of this man, and eventually violin boy started to get physically abused by him 😭 Things escalated to the point where Ione decided she wanted OUT and was determined to do anything to escape. This led to a very...traumatic event that caused her to go mute by choice.

When Ione finally makes her escape, thankfully she's changed so much that people don't recognize her in public (mostly her hair! It used to be short and didn't cover one of her eyes before). Shortly after she runs into Nahu and his group, and is unceremoniously recruited to join them lol (Nahu can be VERY persuasive). Ione communicates with them through sign language, which luckily a couple of them are fluent in--Ezio and Sage to be specific. They then teach the others in the group sign language too. It takes Nahu a bit to get the hang of it bc he has like, no attention span whatsoever, but being a dragon elemental helps since his senses are super attuned all the time, so he can generally tell what Ione is feeling and what she's trying to convey when she talks to him :")

Over time Ione grows closer with them, and like everybody else is hit with the Found Family, and realizes that yeah. She'd do absolutely ANYTHING for this group of crazy weirdos. She starts to fall in love with Nahu (bc who WOULDN'T), and slowly gains the courage to use her voice again. This leads to secret meetings with Sage, who helps her relearn how to use her vocal cords.

Eventually her past catches up with her, of course, but the group all bands together to set her free from it. She has to face off against violin boy, who thought she'd abandoned him and got Messed Up Mentally as a result, so THAT'S a thing she's gotta deal with. But she's able to reach him by singing for the first time in over five years, and everyone absolutely loses their shit at how beautiful her voice is and they all cry and it’s very emotional!!

Even after regaining her voice she still prefers to stay quiet most of the time, as that is what she's comfortable with, but she's totally okay with speaking when she needs to. Also I need to mention this but bc she used to be like. An idol. Obviously her routines consisted of both song and dance so she's a pretty good dancer. Out of everyone in the group, Ione is the ONLY person Ezio will dance with (and he is a very VERY good dancer himself, but will only dance with someone who can keep up with him, which Ione can). Everyone is very jealous of this, ESPECIALLY Nahu lol bc he wants to dance with Ezio too 😂

Ione's a light elemental! I haven't given a LOT of thought into her powers yet but I do know that her singing makes her stronger and also gives her powers a boost, which in turn helps the rest of the group. She also can ride on these light waves--I will have to draw them sometime bc I can't really explain them in words, it'd be better to show them visually lol

And that's her!! My flower light mute girl <33333

｢ @bucketfullofocs​​ / ref. ｣

[Mammon, Sarah technically] The familiar sounds of a tiny demon bursting into a room were heard across the House of Lamentation, followed by a loud "PAPA! Papa papa papa- I have a present!" Little D. No 2 was holding an ancient looking cassette recorder to him. "It's got Miss Sarah's voice on it~! She wanted me to share!"

He could tell by the pitter-patter of little feet that his mood was about to be thrashed. There was no point in wondering who had come running into the manor, especially when he heard ‘ papa ’ bounding off the walls in that irritatingly high voice.

Mammon turned when called, hoping the scowl on his lips would scare the lesser demon off. It didn’t, of course, since Little D. No 2 was on a mission.

“I told ya t’quit callin’ me that, ya freakin’ pipsqueak. I ain’t your dad!” He snatched the recorder from the demon and frowned. “What year are we in? Why are you still usin’ old stuff like this? Eh, whatever.  .  . Ya said it’s got Sarah’s voice on it? Hmph, it’s probably a love confession! Love letters don’t really do the trick, y’know? It’s just words on paper, but this way I can hear just how madly in love with me she is!”

Mammon fell into a fit of giggling, Little D’s company all but forgotten as he eagerly clicked the play button.

      ‘ Mammon.... Mams, Mammoney, my favorite snuggle buddy. ’

He had anticipated being wrong, but already the recording had him feeling warm and fuzzy. Suddenly, standing out in the middle of the common room, listening to Sarah speak so tenderly about him made him feel awkward and exposed. His thumb jammed at the pause button, other hand reaching down to plant on Little D’s face and give him a little shove. “Buzz off, short stack. Ya gave it t’me, so get lost.”

He told the smaller demon to leave him be, but he was the one to hurriedly leave the room. Ignoring the indignant protests to come from the lesser, Mammon made a beeline for his room. Only once he was behind the door and laying flat on his stomach on his bed did he resume playing the tape.

“Can’t believe she said that out loud.” He set the recorder down on his mattress, a pillow hugged under his chin. “What else did she say?”

      ‘ And, you know, depending on what they were fighting about...         I bet Mammon could win. I’d put money down on Mammon         winning, if the stakes were right. ’

Mammon let out a low whine and buried his face into his pillow, heat gathering in the soft, cottony material. Of all the things she had to go and say, she had to say that! He wanted desperately to know how someone was able to have more confidence in him than he had in himself. Being the second born, the second strongest — he had always felt that there was a shadow being cast over him. Living under his oldest brother’s shadow for so long, he had come to accept that it was where he belonged.

He could do no better, so there was no point in trying to wiggle out from underneath it.

And even if he did, even if he busted his ass to shake off his bad habits and irresponsibility, he doubted he could be as productive and reliable as Lucifer was. No matter the problem, he and his brothers always flocked to him for answers. If Mammon were in his shoes, he knew that without fail, he would disappoint them all and himself.

Yet she spoke with such soft and certain conviction that it felt like a punch to the gut.

“What the hell are ya seein’ in me that they ain’t seein’.  .  . ?” He tilted his head up again, teeth gnawing at his lower lip as she continued on.

She rambled on about how he made her feel, from his protectiveness over her to his silly attempts at making every excuse to be in her room. So she figured him out. Mammon grumbled to himself, something about her being too damn clever for her own good. He should have known she’d see through his ploy, not that it really mattered anymore.

      ‘ Heck, I felt safe enough around him to show him my soul.         Me, showing the Avatar of Greed a thing most demons         covet without even thinking about it? ’

“Seriously, why did ya go an’ do somethin’ like that?” He scoffed and let his eyes slide closed, the brilliant of her soul still burned into the backs of his eyelids. She trusted him, she claimed. It wasn’t warranted, he believed, but he was grateful for it. Oh, but what he wouldn’t do for a single touch, a little taste of her soul on his tongue. He wouldn’t devour it, but he wanted to know just how pure her soul was, and if his feelings for her would make it taste as sweet as he thought it might.

       ‘ But... I - I love him. ’

Mammon shot up in his bed, eyes as wide and round as freshly minted grimm. Without thinking, he grabbed the recorder and brought it near. “W—Wait, hang on. Did ya just say what I think ya said?!”

It wasn’t as if she could hear him, but talking through his panic felt better than letting it implode.

“Ya.  .  . Ya love me?” She said it. She really, really said it. But as soon as she said it, she voiced her fear that saying it to his face might ruin what they had. Mammon squeezed the recorder tighter. “It ain’t gonna ruin anything! Ah, shit. Dammit!”

Sputtering to himself, recorder tossed back onto the bed, Mammon reached up and ruffled at his own hair in frustration. “Auuuugh!! Why’d she gotta go and tell all’a that to a little punk but not me?”

He knew why — because a face-to-face rejection would be equal to being gutted by a serrated knife. He had felt that fear himself plenty of times, and each time he did it was a reminder that just this once he shouldn’t be his usual, greedy self.

Unfortunately for him, that voice was uncharacteristically quiet now. His vice had roared ahead, barreling past his hesitation and making his every desire burn like molten gold.

“Ah, screw it! She already said it! The hell do I need to be afraid for?” He grabbed his DDD from his back pocket and sent her a few short, ‘sweet’ messages.

      > Get your ass to my room!       > I got words for ya!       > And just so ya know, ya better prepare yourself!       > You ain’t leavin’ my room for a good, long while.

DTRH!AU Masterpost

Moving into a new post since I’ve got stuff actually organized!!! It’ll likely get an update from time to time. Apologies to those whom the read more breaks for ‘^^

Everything to do with this au will be tagged #dtrh!au or #down the rabbit hole au Individual characters are tagged with #dtrh![name] 

Here’s an AU PMV for starters! 

Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?

Putting this up here so it doesn’t get super buried- Here’s the fic(s) set in this AU! All Moving Pictures End 

The AU crash course: The premise behind the au is that everything takes place in a pocket dimension controlled by a black magic script. Joey Drew is the one who’s writing/editing this script, and his rewrites affect the world and the characters within it. His constant reshaping eventually twists the world from a sitcom genre to a horror film- hence the horror esque setting, creatures, and plot. The characters didn’t escape the rewrites’ effects either. They’re warped into corrupted versions of themselves. However, these characters end up becoming sentient after awhile. The first one of these to become entirely sentient is Henry. He’s currently the only one who’s all the way out of alignment. A toon gone rogue, if you will. He still goes along with Joey’s “plot,” but it’s more so he can try to reach the other characters than to keep Joey happy or unaware of his actions. His goal is to basically “wake up” the other characters, so they can all stop living in a hellish nightmare studio and actually try and make something nice out of their home. He’s extremely dedicated to his goal. 

Character time!!! toon trio refs / corrupted refs  butcher gang refs / corrupted refs  toon henry ref  toon sammy ref / corrupted sammy ref  toon susie ref / corrupted susie ref  toon allison and tom refs / corrupted allison and tom refs  joey ref / toon joey ref  toon norman ref / corrupted ref  toon bertrum ref / corrupted ref  toon and corrupted grant refs  toon jack ref / corrupted jack ref  toon wally ref / corrupted wally ref  toon and corrupted lacie refs  toon and corrupted shawn refs 

Character relationships/orientations 

Concept art, anyone? toon trio concept work (w/ bonus corrupted bendy n alice) corrupted boris/alice concept work (ft bonus hen) butcher gang concept work (w/ corrupted forms) henry concept work sammy concept work (and more henry) susie concept work joey concept work corrupted norman concept work toon norman concept work  throwing around lost ones ideas 

Misc stuff Henry, but Goop™  Susie and Studio Tea™  Hey Henry, how do u feel about Joey?  Yo hold up, hen and polk are a thing???  Henry’s glasses saga  Regular studio shenanigans 

FAQ: 

How many of the employees are gonna show up? Hopefully all the named ones in the game! Once they’ve got a design, they’re guaranteed to show up somewhere.

Are they really carbon copies of the employees? Is there nothing different about them and their irl counterparts? They started as carbon copies! Latching onto their old traits and their old selves does help them come to their senses. However, different character development happens in script than IRL, so they end up different. Henry, for example, takes up the last name “Ross” when he wakes up (instead of his IRL counterpart’s “Stien”) to differentiate himself :0

So is everyone corrupted on purpose? Yes and no. Yes, because Joey chose to rewrite the script so much that it mangled characters, but no, because he didn’t intend to mangle them in the first place. It just kinda happened.

What makes them corrupted? Corruption is what happens when you can’t hold onto the core of what your character is, and get dragged into what the new script is telling you. It’s when you lose sight of who you are among all the chaos. People who are drawn farther away from their actual selves end up more monstrous. Susie (aka “alice” angel) is a great example of this. Bendy is too! Far be it from his real nature to be a murderous monster.

So can the toons be uncorrupted? Yup! Henry’s our model citizen this time. He looks more like a toon than a normal person, sure, but there’s nothing monstrous about him. That’s because he’s latched onto what makes him Henry. He’s not letting the instability of the world around him shake him up. Otherwise he’d be a goopy mess of ink.

Why’d Joey write everyone so differently that they corrupted? He’s actually very out of touch with people once he starts rewriting the script. Since his memories are getting foggy, he fixates on details that he can remember, and exaggerates them as needed. In fact, he’s hidden tape recorders around the script studio as built in reminders of these character traits.

How’d Henry wake up? And how does he plan on waking everyone else up? Ok… this is a longer answer. It all comes together, i promise. Jus hang with me. Whenever henry dies, he gets sent back to a sort of “first draft” stage. In order to get back to the world he’s supposed to exist in, he has to get through all the layers of ink Joey put down to get to his current script. As one can imagine… there’s a lot. So much so that Henry has to essentially swim to the surface. As he passes through all this ink, he can hear whispers of previous scripts. The deeper he is, the closer these whispers are to what the world used to be like. Seeing as Henry is the protagonist, he ended up dying… a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Joey had a lot of snags in the script to work out. All these times sent into the draft-y ink soup made made Henry slowly realize what was going on. He wasn’t mindless anymore. He knew what was up. After realizing that the world wasn’t right, it didn’t take him long to push for the rest of his consciousness. He plans on using what whispers and memories he can gather to bring everyone else back. He’s not dying on purpose, mind you, but he gathers as much information as he can to help everyone else realize that they’re not who they’re supposed to be.

Wait, memories? Does Henry remember the past scripts now? Not quite? He’s got a good enough memory stockpile to keep himself centered, but he doesn’t always know what’s up ahead as he heads through another studio loop. If Joey happens to rewrite or change around the script, those patches of Henry’s memory blip out of existence. Or at least get hazy. Hen can often tell if Joey’s changed something by how many holes he has in his memories.

Can anyone in the pocket dimension get out? Henry’s the only one who can get out! Joey literally wrote him a back door to the script. It used to be so he could talk to Henry whenever the “story” was over, but nowadays it’s just to judge how fast plot goes via how quickly Hen gets back. All Henry can manage to do is walk around and stare silently. And he can’t even stay out very long. Ink’s unstable in the real world. Gotta go back in n start the horror show over if u wanna live :/

Can Joey go in? Nope! Since he’s not made of ink, he can’t go in. He can watch tho!!! He does so via writing POV shifts into the script, and watches through whatever character it shifted to. Who needs cameras when u got the eyes of black magic toons n inky monsters ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Does Joey know Henry is sentient now? Nnnnot quite? He thinks the magic is being screwy with him. He can’t switch POV to Henry anymore, since the toon’s taken control of himself, and that’s real confusing since the writer doesn’t know what’s up. Plus, like mentioned above, Hen can’t exactly give Joey a sign once he gets out of the studio. Bummer :/

Is Joey gonna majorly rewrite the script any time soon? Nope. He’s to attached to his current plot to change the genre or anythin, so it’s gonna stay as is. With some changes here and there. One musn’t underestimate how many times u can change the order of scenes, or improve dialogue... 

AU Background:

((this is long as shiz, so get some popcorn slfkjs))

Y’all probably wanna know how this whole horror show started. I’ve got two words for ya: Joey Drew. Unsurprising! But he’s our starting point nonetheless. Joey Drew is the retired owner of Joey Drew Studios, a cartoon studio that ran itself into the ground after a decade or two of fantastical cartoons. Money problems aren’t kind to the entertainment industries. However, the studio was still his pride and joy! As are the friends who stuck by him or met him during the time it was open. He kept up with all of them through the years. They were like a little family. Unfortunately, time has a way of changing things. With his friends drifting away, living their own lives, getting up in years, or a combination of the three, Joey wasn’t doing too well. He was lonely. Feeling washed up. Missing the glory days, where he helped work on cartoon scripts instead of submitting horror and mystery shorts to local magazines. Not all that surprising that he turned to something else to cope. This thing being none other than occult magic. Because… of course it is. It’s a habit he’s had for years. Nothing like some demonic rituals to spice up the life of the creative mind behind kids’ cartoons! Especially fun when you’re a man with poor impulse control and a wild imagination. In any case, Joey summons the three main characters of his beloved cartoon series. Bendy, Alice, and Boris! (I refer to these three as the “toon trio.”) He was just as happy that he’d managed to bring them to life as he was to have them around the house. It was like having slightly unruly grandkids with toony superpowers. In other words, they were absolutely delightful!!! He took care of them and admired their antics. It was a great time. … until. Well. It wasn’t. Turns out things that don’t belong in this world get rejected eventually. After a few months, things started go go wayward. The toon trio had difficulties maintaining their forms, moving, engaging in tropes, and a ton of other things. They were miserable. Joey was understandably heartbroken to see this happen to his poor toons. So, like any good person, he tried to do the right thing: put them back on the paper they came from. It didn’t end up working exactly how he’d expected. Everything comes with a price when you mess with demonic ink. The magic not only created a stack of paper instead of a series of drawings, but latched onto an old fountain pen and Joey’s closet. If the closet thing seems odd, it is. But it’s a convenient place to hide ritual pentagrams! So, closet it is. Upon frantic examination of the papers, Joey discovered it was a script. A black magic infused script. Three names up top told him the toon trio were the only characters. A bit of experimentation led him to discover that the magic-infused pen was the only thing that could interact with the script properly. Further experimentation showed him that the script had made his closet into a pocket dimension. The contents? Whatever was in his new script. This is where the real fun begins. The new magic script practically floored Joey with awe. He had a world he could shape however he wished! He could run all those scripts he’d never gotten to put in production! He could watch his toons frolick! He could even use it to play with ideas he’d never gotten to explore. The possibilities were endless! 

((Of course, you might be wondering if Joey… y’know. Knew the toons were still alive. Because they were, they were just living in a pocket dimension now. In short? No. He didn’t. He carefully tested a few things with the script, just to make sure. All the toons did was what he wrote down. They moved like they were alive, but didn’t act that way. Plus, the dimension made them blank slates. They didn’t have any characterization in there to make them truly alive. So! For all intents and purposes? He saw them as you would any other character you write. A visual extension of his imagination. Ok mini rant over, back to the story--))

Playing with the toons was amazing. Joey hadn’t had fun like that in years! It was his little secret world, populated by his cherished toons. He could make believe whatever he wished. Eventually, though, loneliness started to catch back up to the old man. His friends… his family… life… it all went on. He just felt left behind. And what does Joey do when he doesn’t feel good? Not cope healthily, that’s for sure. Onwards to more occult magic! Only this time, he tries something… different. The toons were lonely. They deserved company. They deserved someone to take care of them. A familiar face. Maybe someone who helped Joey create them in the first place. Someone who’d just sent Mr. Drew an old letter and a card, since he hadn’t seen him in awhile… … someone like Henry. Using the magic pen, Joey traced over Henry’s note. Far from ruining the precious letter, it transferred “Henry” into the script. It’s not the real one! Basically a carbon copy, fresh from the time period that Hen first wrote the note in. Seeing as Henry’s letter came from around the time the cartoon studio was going strong, it’s an old version of him. But it was still Joey’s old friend. Just… toony. Toon Henry reacted just as his living friend would. If he wrote dialogue? He spoke it like Henry would. If he wrote some action? The toon put a classic Henry twist on it. Delighted, Joey returned to his script with renewed vigor. Toon Henry got to spend plenty of quality with the toon trio as the days went on. Thus began a trend of toonification. Missing one of his old friends? All Joey had to do was grab something with their old handwriting on it, and trace them into the script! There’s a carbon copy that acts just like the real deal! A fine compromise, right? … Right? Not exactly. It was fine at first. Joey made what could probably qualify as a sitcom-style story for the toony world to run on. His friends, at this point, all populated the studio. The premise was that the toons (now including the butcher gang!) had been summoned while he was still running the studio, and got up to hijinks with the rest of the employees. A hefty dose of actual studio drama- turned comedic, of course- kept the whole thing almost real. Joey even featured himself once or twice, but only in allusions, or a disembodied voice. He wasn’t about to let a carbon copy of himself have all the fun. It made him feel less lonely. More included. A fantasy world of never ending fun and heartwarming moments. How unfortunate it is that life doesn’t follow this pattern. Morality is a hard thing to come to terms with. So is sickness. Especially that of a friend. … it was just one rewrite at first. One alteration on a bad day. After all, using writing to cope is perfectly acceptable. One bad episode in the midst of sunshine doesn’t discount it all. One uncanny occurrence, though, doesn’t usually stay singular. It didn’t take long for the solitary rewrite to become two rewrites. Then three. Four. Six. Ten. Twenty. Fifty. More and more and more. Until the happy honey colored studio slipped into sinister sepia. This wasn’t the old script anymore. Not by a long shot.

The setting? A studio of shattered dreams.   Your protagonist? Henry. His goal? Survive long enough to escape.

~It’s quite th͝e̵͞͏ ͠M̕a͘sţe̛̕r͘p̕i̵͝e̡ḉe̡̨͜~̡̛

onwards and upwards | rosie & graves

Rosie traps Graves somewhere he can’t escape for an interrogation.

Knocking on Graves' door would ruin the point of a surprise attack, so first Rosie slowly tested the handle to see if it was locked– nope! What an idiot. She slammed her body into the door as she opened it and tumbled into the room, finding her footing within seconds and launching herself onto where her brother was sleeping peacefully. "¡Despierta!"

It wasn't until 3 AM that Graves finally fell asleep, mid-reading, his tarot deck strewn across his comforter. He was sprawled in the middle of his bed, out cold, without a care in the world. A card was stuck to his cheek. He was drooling - that is, until Rosie landed on him and yelled right in his ear. Graves sat bolt upright, eyes wild, his mind taking a second to wake up. "Gods, Roz. A simple knock wouldn't have worked?" He looked at his sister, using his arm to wipe drool off his cheek.

Rosie rolled off of him and onto the floor. She sat up and grinned at him, reaching forward to prod one of his cheeks. "Gross. You're drooling." Scooting backwards away from him, she clambered back up to her feet and started to look around his room. "Nah, boring as fuck. Wanna go for a drive?"

"I know I'm droolin'. I was asleep before someone barged in. " Graves stuck his tongue out at his sister, before grinning. He ran a hand through his hair in a failed attempt to tame his bedhead. "Oh hell yeah, where to hermana?" He rolled out of bed and started rummaging through his dresser.

"Oh yeah? Who?" Rosie snickered and leaned against his dresser as he began to go through it. "So rude of them. I want somewhere to stretch our legs! Somewhere out of the way. And ice cream, I for sure want ice cream."

"My punk ass sister, that's who." Graves snapped a t-shirt in Rosie's direction, but made sure it didn't hit her. He resumed his search, digging through a second drawer to find a pair of pants. "A hiking adventure! I'm in. And you know I never turn down ice cream." He laughed, "I never turn down any food, let's be honest. Alright, give me two minutes." Cam shooed his sister from his room and quickly got dressed. When he opened the door again, he was in his usual ripped jeans and tee, a flannel tied around his waist. His boots were in his hand. "I gotta put these on, do you wanna grab some snacks from the kitchen?"

Rosie yelped and skipped out of the way of the t-shirt, continuing on out the door as he ushered her out to change. When he emerged, she feigned a yawn as though she had been waiting for hours. "Yeah, yeah, make me do all the hard work. Meet me in five." With a laugh, she spun around and dashed to the kitchen.

Graves let out a loud laugh as he sat down to pull on his boots. "I'm not makin' you do the hard work, I'm lettin' you pick your favorite snacks!" He called to her retreating form. He tied his shoes and pulled his phone out of his pocket, looking up nearby hiking trails. "Am I drivin'?"

"Whatever!" she called back as she gathered armfuls of snacks and started shoving them into her backpack before scampering back to her brother. "I can drive if you want a thrill!"

He waved his keys in the air. "I'll let you drive when I want a heart attack. You're navigating. C'mon, Loretta's parked over by the vans." He grabbed his water bottle and backpack before standing. With a smirk on his face, Graves looked over at Rosie. "I'll race you there."

“Coward,” Rosie teased, slinging the backpack over her shoulder. As soon as he mentioned the word ‘race’ she shoved him, then took off in a sprint.

"Woah, hey! False start ref!" Graves stumbled, laughing, then bolted after his sister. "I'll get you back for that, Roz!"

“Gotta catch me first!” she yelled back, ducking her head and maintaining speed. “You’re too slow!”

"C'mon, I haven't played lacrosse in two years. I used to be faster!" Graves could see his truck in the distance, his sister a few yard ahead of him. Laughing, he ran a little faster until he was just behind Rosie and reached out for her backpack to slow her down.

Rosie yelped as she was yanked backwards and dove to the side to try and slam into him as he passed her. "Fucker!"

Graves lost his footing when her shoulder crashed into him. "Shit!" He righted himself, watching as Rosie reached his car first. "For the record, Roz, I let you win." He was laughing and reached out to ruffle her hair before tossing his backpack into the truckbed and swinging himself into the driver's seat.

Rosie grinned and ducked her head when he touched her hair. "For the record, you're a fucking dick. I'm faster." She hopped into the passenger's seat and put her feet up on the dashboard as she got comfortable. "I got a question for you once you start driving and can't escape."

Graves exhaled, "Oh gods, I don't like the sound of that." He turned the key in the ignition and buckled his seatbelt, looking over to make sure his sister did the same. He tossed her his phone. "You're navigating and interrogating, don't forget to tell me where I'm going."

Rosie rolled her eyes but fastened her seatbelt anyway. She flicked her sunglasses down over her eyes and caught his phone, tapping in the passcode and pulling up google maps. "I can multitask. Head towards the highway first."

Graves flicked on the radio and followed her directions, driving out of camp and onto the road that would take them to the highway.

Rosie waited until they were on a stretch that didn't require directions for a while and twisted in her seat to face him. "Alright, tumbitas." She pointed at him. "What's your relationship with the wicked bitch of the west?"

Graves gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and flicked Rosie a cool look. He'd anticipated the question but hoped he'd been wrong. "Sorry, hermana, I've never been to Oz." He tried to flash her a grin but her expression was unreadable through her sunglasses.

Rosie raised her eyebrows, still casually sprawled across the seat despite the edge in her voice. "I'm talking about Cleo Bancroft." She pronounced the name with disdain.

"Ah." He said, tapping the steering wheel with his index finger. "I...don't know? Relationship feels like a strong word." Graves shrugged, acting indifferent.

"Are you friends?" Rosie crossed her arms.

"We..." He squinted, trying to think of the right word to describe what he and Cleo had. "We're friend-ly? Ish?"

With a scoff, Rosie sat up, pulling her feet off the dashboard. "That's it? I don't believe it."

Graves shrugged again, visibly uncomfortable. His expression said he was calculating any possible escape route from this situation: there were none. He glanced at his sister again. "I don't know? Gods, Roz."

Rosie scowled. "Oh my gods, I'm not going to flip shit on you. I just want to know."

"Is it that big of a deal if we are?" He asked, getting defensive.

"Uh, kinda? Since the rest of us hate her?"

"For something that happened, what? Five years ago?"

Rosie threw her hands up in the air. "Yeah! 'Cause it fucking sucked and was a shitty thing to do!"

"I-" Graves looked at Rosie. "I wasn't even here for it, Rosie!" He pressed his lips together. "I'm sure it sucked and it was shitty but...I'm just supposed to hate someone because y'all do? What is that?"

"Yeah, kinda!" Rosie frowned at him. "I'd hate anyone you wanted me to."

“I wouldn’t ask you to hate anyone!” He fired back. “I-sorry. That totally wasn’t the point.” Graves sighed. “It’s just- I don’t know. I’m being a dick, aren’t I?”

Rosie blew a piece of hair out of her face. “Ugh. Shut up, you’re so fucking-“ she motioned towards him. “Nice. I just wanna be annoyed.”

Graves chewed his lip. “Nah, I’m not that nice. I know she hurt you cari. You have every right to be mad.” He glanced down at the maps just to make sure he was going the right way. “If I said we were friends, what happens?”

Rosie kept half an eye on Graves’ phone. “Still five mins until the turn.” She slid down further in her seat. “I dunno. I guess I just wanna know. Are you?”

He nodded, appreciative of her directions. “I honestly don’t know? She’s not awful and we talk sometimes?” Graves offered vaguely.

“Erre es korakas,” she cursed at him, her momentary calm already gone. “Just answer the fucking question.”

Graves winced when Rosie cursed. When he answered, his voice was quiet. “If I said yes, are you going to tell all our siblings to hate me too?” He stared at the road, expression tense.

Rosie rolled her eyes again and leaned against the window, pressing her temple against the glass. “You really think I’d do that?”

“If I called Cleo my friend, yeah. You hate her so much. Miranda too. I don’t know.” Graves ran a hand through his hair.

Rosie hunched her shoulders defensively and looked back at him. “I wouldn’t. And even if I told them to, they wouldn’t.”

He glanced over at her, not believing her fully. “I don’t want you to be mad at me. I know how long you can hold a grudge, Roz...”

Rosie frowned at him. “I can be fucking pissed at you and still love you to death, idiot.”

Graves’ expression was filled with doubt. “Do you want me to stop talking to her?” He realized he still hadn’t answered Rosie’s question.

“Yeah, no shit.” Rosie looked back out the window. “But I’m not gonna ask you to. I’m sick of pulling you guys into this shit, it clearly just fucking spirals.”

“I let you down at Cyrus’ party, fuckin’ losing my walkie talkie. And inviting Cleo. I don’t want to let you down with this too.”

Rosie was silent for a few long seconds. “You invited her?”

“I-“ Graves racked his brain, trying to backtrack. “I didn’t invite her, exactly? Invite us a strong word. Nah, I-uh, I ran into hear that day and uh, we were talking and I said I had to go get ready and she asked what for and...” He trailed off. “A party for Cy is public knowledge, right? He’s the party king. Everyone knew......right?”

Rosie slapped a hand to her forehead since she couldn’t smack him without causing a car crash. “Are you fucking serious, Cam? She wasn’t invited for a reason! Because it was Cyrus’s fucking birthday and obviously a fight was gonna start with her there! It wasn’t just a party, it was a party for his birthday and because she was there I almost fucking ruined it! None of us wanted her there!”

"It wasn't on purpose, I swear!" Graves looked at Rosie and shook his head, eyes wide. "I didn't think about it! Also didn't think she'd show up, that's insane! And," he paused and sighed. "You didn't ruin it. If anything, I did. I was too busy flirtin' with Casey, I didn't even see Lisette hit you."

Rosie felt like tearing her hair out or bursting into tears, she couldn’t tell which. “You’re not helping your case here.”

"It was a game!" He said, exasperated. "You came up with the game, you hit Lisette, she hit you back.  Isn't that how the game worked? I'm pretty sure yes because I hit Tai and he fuckin' wailed on my jaw. Hit for hit!" Graves could feel the hole he was in getting even deeper." I don't even know how to help my case."

“Oh my fucking gods you don’t get it!” Definitely leaning towards tears now. Rosie could feel herself getting choked up, which only made her more angry. “I don’t care Lisette hit me! Good for her, it was part of the game, which I said at the time if anyone would just fucking listen to me!” She pressed her fingers under her eyes. “I know everyone thinks I’m some fucking psychopath who’s gonna snap at anything but I said it was fine, I told the others to back off, I didn’t hit her again or yell at her or anything! I just wanted to keep going with the game and everyone else was making it worse but of course it was Rosie who lost her temper and interrupted the game, and had to be told to calm down and have the water gun confiscated, of course.” She slid her hands down her face, exhaling hard. “I’m not fucking mad I got hit. Okay?”

"Ah...shit," Graves wilted as Rosie got choked up. He was not good with crying so he hoped Rosie didn't cry, especially because it would have been his fault and he would officially win 'Worst Brother of the Month.' He looked over at her, eyes full of concern. "No, Roz. Rosie, I-I know you're not mad you got hit. I know you told everyone to stop and I know no one listened to you. I also know it's my fault. Cleo and Lisette wouldn't have been there if I hadn't opened my big fucking mouth and I-I'm sorry..."

Rosie turned her head to face the window when he looked over at her and rolled it down a crack. The breeze was bracing, and gave her a chance to catch her breath enough to clear the lump from her throat. She looked back at him. “Whatever. You didn’t know.” Deciding to risk it, she punched his shoulder. “Fucking look at us. Ridiculous.”

Graves had been prepared for Rosie to hit him since the conversation had started, so her punch only made him swerve a little. He made a face, "I forgot how hard you can hit, damn." He exhaled, watching Rosie look out the window. "Ridiculous," Graves agreed. His next words came out in a rush. "Do I make it better or worse if I say that we're kinda friends and I feel bad hiding it from you and Miranda but I don't want to hurt you by being friends with her and I don't want to her by lying and saying she's not...my friend." He bit his lip, afraid he'd escalated the situation again with his confession.

Rosie would have laughed if she wasn't still upset. "You could've started with that." She looked back at the window. "I'm pissed you're friends with her but I'm not gonna make you stop. Just... it's not all me, okay? She's really fucking good at playing the victim card and making me look like the villain in this whole shit, but it's not just me."

"I didn't want to start with it because I honestly...didn't plan on telling you yet. But I just feel like a fucking dick." Graves shrugged, he looked like a kicked puppy. He could tell Rosie was still upset with him and he didn't know how to fix it since all he was saying were hurtful things. "I never thought it was all you, Roz. I promise. She doesn't talk about you either, if that helps. I mean," he chose his words carefully. "It's not like we hang out and she shit talks you. I think I'm the only one that's ever really brought you or Miranda up and it's to tell her that I don't want to upset either of you. Which is true. I don't and I've never wanted that. But leave it to me to befriend the one person you hate the most. Great fucking brother, huh."

Rosie half smiled. It was hard to keep being mad at him when he seemed to be doing her job for her. "Leave it to you," she agreed. "Fucking terrible taste in people. You're not crushing on her, right? Honestly."

“She’s not terrible,” Graves laughed and shook his head. “We’re just friends. Gods, don’t worry about that. Don’t joke about that. I’m sorry, again.”

Rosie pointed at him. “Hey. You’re still on thin fucking ice.” Despite her words, she was smiling. “Take the next exit.”

Graves smiled back at his sister, taking the exit as directed. "Thin ice, got it. How do I get to solid land? How do we...navigate this?"

Rosie pushed her sunglasses back on top of her head. She had wanted to clear the air not have a discussion, but it did seem like the mature thing to do. "Ugh. Just... don't invite her to the cabin, okay? I don't want to have to go full hippie cleanse mode and burn some sage."

"Do we even have sage in the cabin?" He laughed. "I don't picture you as the hippie type."

Rosie made a gagging sound. "I'm not. I burned that out of my system when we broke up."

Graves rolled his eyes. "Well, thanks to Gran, I don't have sage, but I do have crystals, so if you really need to cleanse the cabin, I'll let you borrow them."

"Turn left up here." Rosie rolled the window down the rest of the way. "Good to know." She glanced over at him. "You got anything you wanna say to me?"

He took the turn Rosie instructed, pulling smoothly into the parking lot of the hiking area. Graves looked at his sister. "I'm sorry again. And I'm treating you to ice cream after this."

Rosie laughed and sat up to unbuckle her seatbelt. “I was asking if you’re pissed at me about some shit but I’ll accept free ice cream.”

Graves unbuckled his seatbelt and slid out of the truck in one fluid motion. He shut the door and leaned over the truck bed to look at Rosie. He rested his chin on his arms. "I don't know. I just figured you were pissed at me and that I'd be kicked out of the cabin or something."

Rosie snorted and hopped out of the car. “I’m thrilled you’re that scared of me. C’mon tumbitas, I’m always pissed at you and you still got a bed!”

Graves fished his backpack out of the truck bed and slung a strap over his shoulder. “Only an idiot wouldn’t be scared of the Hermes girls.” He grinned. “Is there anything I should be pissed at you about, since you asked?” He waited for Rosie to grab her bag before walking to the trail.

Rosie followed after him, skipping to catch up and walk beside him. “Nope! I’ve been an angel, as always!”

Graves snorted. “Right, I believe that. What’s the most recent wild thing you’ve done?”

She pulled a baseball cap out of her bag and put it on. She winked at him. “Forgiving your terrible judgment.”

Graves bumped her shoulder with his own. "My judgement's better than yours. I didn't date her." He stuck his tongue out and grinned, making sure she knew he was only teasing. "Honestly, I fully expected you to punch me once we go out of the truck. Loretta could only protect me for so long."

Rosie laughed and tugged his sleeve so he would stop for long enough for her to clamber up onto his back. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re such an idiot,” she said fondly.

"I know I am. You still love me, hermana?" Graves adjusted his arms so he could carry her properly and set off on the trail.

“No shit, tumbitas.” She rested her chin on his shoulder. “Onwards and upwards.”

nowhere i’d rather be | n. patrick

❀ ⇢ requested: yes | no ❀ ⇢ word count: 1.4k ❀ ⇢ a/n: this one goes out to patty’s goal that should’ve been if it wasn’t for those meddling refs. lmao, but really though this was such a pain to write so i’m sorry in advance if it’s shit

can you a Nolan Patrick one about how you guys are going to an event and are all dressed up fancy and Nolan insists on driving and you get lost in the middle of no where and he feels guilty about it and on the way home he stops and slow dances with you in a parking lot to make up for it?? lol sorry for being so specific

⇢ posted: 02.12.19 . | . masterlist

“Nolan, come on,” you called, “We’ve gotta go.”

“I’m coming, don’t worry,” he replied, appearing behind you adjusting his tie that you had done for him earlier. You really needed to teach him how to tie one, you thought absently as you looked around trying to figure out if you had everything.

Coming to a stop in front of you, Nolan spread his arms wide, “How do I look?” Pausing, you took the chance to drink him in.

He looked… good.

Really good.

You had finally convinced him to get his hair trimmed a few days ago and made sure he thoroughly washed it earlier, leaving it fluffy and soft. What stubble he had left was gone, shaved while he was getting ready. Your eyes roamed over his suit-clad figure, the dark gray material that was tailored just right nearly making your breath catch in your throat.

“Great,” you breathed out before swallowing and repeating yourself with more strength, “You look great.”

A smirk found its way to his lips as he walked closer to your body and grabbed onto your hips to pull you closer to him.

“Oh, I look great?” He teasingly hummed, voice deep. He brought his head down to brush his lips against yours lightly, eliciting a soft sigh from you before you pulled away. “Shut up,” you rolled your eyes good-naturedly.

He chuckled under his breath, pulling you back to him and giving you a real kiss. “You look pretty great yourself, you know,” he told you, not moving back and his words coming out muffled in return.

Eyes glancing down at yourself, a grin pulled at your lips, “I’d hope so, you saw how long I spent getting ready.”

Nodding in agreement with a low laugh, he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead before moving away. “You got everything?” He asked, grabbing his phone and wallet from the table and slipping them into his pockets.

Confirming with a nod, you picked up the keys and dangled them in the air. Nolan rolled his eyes at your cheeky grin, plucking the keys from your fingers.

“Let’s get going, then.”

Thanking your decision to not wear a full length dress, you followed behind him with a reminder to lock the door after you. The walk down to the car was quick, the only conversation being Nolan insisting that he drive—something you easily agreed to.

“Are you sure you know where you’re going?” You asked a few minutes later when you saw that he didn’t have a GPS. “I’ve been there before, babe,” was his confident response, glancing over at you with a reassuring smile, “I know how to get there.”

Sighing under your breath, you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and slunk down into your seat. Fiddling with the music was your way of occupying yourself and so you deemed yourself the DJ of the car. Mind off the situation at hand, it wasn’t until you heard Nolan uttering low curses awhile later that let yourself become slightly annoyed at your stubborn boyfriend.

It was abundantly clear that he did not, in fact, know the way there, proven by the two of you now being lost in what appeared to the literal middle of nowhere.

Letting your head drop back against the headrest, you chose to stay quiet and let him deal with it and instead stare out the window. Stretches of land passed by outside, dotted with houses every so often. Vaguely registering Nolan’s huffs of irritated breaths, your eyes peeked over at him.

His hair that had previously been tucked neatly behind his ears was now messy, signs of him having run his hand through it visible. Rosy red spots were painted across his cheeks, bringing a tiny smile to your lips.

Seeing how stressed he had become, you let go of your annoyance and grabbed his hand from where it had been making its way back through his hair. Head tilting towards you, he furrowed his features confused as you brought his knuckles to your lips and brushed a soft kiss to them.

“It’s fine if we’re a little late, Nol,” you mumbled, hoping to ease the tension from him.

The attempt worked in part, his shoulders drooping down as he sighed. He tugged your hand over to him and repeated your actions, giving you a small grateful smile. Silence settled over the now calmer vehicle, Nolan managing to figure out how to get there all the while keeping a grip on your hand in his.

Expecting the chirping and teasing from the rest of the team, you weren’t disappointed when you finally arrived. The bolder ones of the bunch made subtle comments about what they thought were the actual reasons behind your tardiness, only for both you and Nolan to respond with scathing remarks that held little heat and in turn caused laughter from those present.

The two of you showing up late had left you with less time to mingle and enjoy the event, giving you little choice but to quickly brush away the lingering disappointment. One thing, in particular, you were saddened about not being able to participate more in was the dancing. Having always found joy in having an excuse to force Nolan—someone who avoided dancing at all costs unless drunk—onto the dance floor, it was a small regret not being able to this time around.

Overall though, you had fun, as you often did when the entire team was gathered.

Exchanging goodbyes with everyone took longer than it should’ve, but soon enough you were making your way back to the car to head home with Nolan.

It was with great relief that you were able to pull off your heels and relax into the seat. Pulling out your phone to give yourself something to occupy your time with, you exchanged tired smiles with Nolan as he started the car and began the drive home.

Quickly becoming distracted, you paid little to no mind to where he was going.

Which is why you became very confused when you felt him pull the car to a stop, the confusion worsening when you glanced up and saw that you were in a parking lot.

“Nolan, babe,” you started, eyes lingering on the stores that appeared abandoned, “Are you planning on murdering me?”

A choked laugh escaped your boyfriend, turning your head to watch him shake his head with a fond grin. He remained silent, however, instead changing the song playing to a slower one and turning up the volume before opening his door.

Bending down to stare at you, he motioned with his head, “You coming or what?”

“I still don’t know what’s happening,” you laughed airily, baffled and having to raise your voice when he made his way around the car to open your door for you.

Shifting you around and pulling out your shoes that were laying across the car floor, he began putting them back on your feet. “Even though you were trying to hide it,” he started, gazing up at you with a soft look in his eyes, “I know you were disappointed about not getting to dance with each other.”

You were unable to do anything but stare at him as he worked, too shocked to even form a word. It wasn’t until he finished and pulled you to your feet while continuing to talk that your trance was broken.

“And since it was my fault we were late, I figured I should make it up to you,” he shrugged, a hint of embarrassment making its way onto his face.

“But you hate dancing,” you found yourself saying, voice weak. Another laugh left him as he began pulling you to a spot in front of the car, far enough that you wouldn’t be blinded by the headlights. And since the only light that you had was from the headlights and the moon shining down on you, it was apparent that you needed them on.

“Yea, but I love you even more.”

Breath catching at the sweet sentiment, you let him pull you close to him. It took less than a few seconds for you to wrap your arms around his neck, fingers playing with the ends of his hair as the two of you swayed together.

“I love you so much, Nolan James Patrick,” you whispered, overwhelmed with emotion, not having to speak louder with the only sounds being the soft music and quiet rumbles of car engines in the distance.

Meeting him halfway as he leaned down to kiss you gently, you knew without a doubt there was no place you’d rather be than in his arms.

Alicornis Imitato Contest Winner!

FIRST: I am now 30. WHOOOO BIRTHDAY!!! (Gotta remember to update my ponysona ref sheet XD; It’s like TWO YEARS OLD)

SECOND: 

I promised to announce the winner of the Alicornis Imitato Contest on the 13th (and I did! Just... not publicly. It was on my Discord shhhh)  (NOTE: THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS THE FANWORK CONTEST; THAT ONE GOES UNTIL AUG 31!)

This is the contest where people submitted their idea for alicornis imitatus like Salespitch, and I would pick my favorite to be a CANON CHARACTER in “I Am Not An Alicorn!” It was a tough decision, but the winner iiiiiis…

WILLOW RESIN by JOHNDOESTUDIOS (aka Jaydee!)

I plan to draw her OC soon and she will show up in the comic eventually. But for now, enjoy her excellent entry!

Name: Willow Resin

Species: Alicornus Imitato

Occupation: Ceramicist

Color: turquoise/aqua, with a “blond” mane and tail

Willow is nice, but she gets very focused on her work and is often scatterbrained when working on a project. This leads to lots of tail-tripping, both hers and others. She likes plants but forgets to water them when she’s too focused on a project. She wants a pet bird, just a small one, that she can name sponge.

~

My hometown has had a long history of unicorns and pegasi working together. We make pottery and ceramics which are used mostly in Canterlot. I am proud to say that not only are we commissioned by several stores in that area, and other places around Equestria, but we also are commissioned by the royal palace. You would not BELIEVE how many ceramic roof tiles, floor tiles, and dish sets we have had to replace, it has been attacked so many times! I just don’t know how that place is still standing! Of course I don’t really understand a lot of things as I have never left my town. I think that I have gotten ahead of myself, my name is Willow Resin, and, at least according to my mom, I am something very special.

My town is the town of Basin Ridge. It has a long history of the ceramic arts, it is in the perfect location. The town is at the base of a cliff and the top of the cliff is a spring that comes from a clay base, the pegasi fly to the top of the cliff and push the clay slurry down one chute/streambed/river. It then falls to the town below, landing in the collection fields, where the clay and water separates. The different layers of clay that separate out are used for different things; the finer top layers are for the really fine china and porcelain, the next layers gong down are less fine, and get more coarse, those are used for more hoof-building projects, larger statues and such. Once the collection ponds have settled, the unicorns separate the layers and the pegasi help carry the contained clay to the proper areas. Then the real work begins.

Unicorns are the main ceramic artists here; they use their magic to form the clay, but I, I have a disadvantage. These are very specific, advanced spells. They are very involved, from spinning the wheel while pulling the clay, its too hard for me, my magic isn’t strong enough, and my wings aren’t strong enough to carry and help move the clay. I have a personal reason for wanting to be here too, my Father was the master of the head studio here. I have grown up playing between these wheels like the trees in a forest, I have spent my whole life in this art. I have adapted it and myself to be able to accomplish what I need to do.

I have to balance the clay, even it, smooth it and decorate it all by hoof, I can only do the pulling spell, I even have to kick the wheel myself. The other unicorns can do this really awesome spell that spins the wheel, and forms and decorates the clay ALL AT THE SAME TIME AND THEY CAN DO LIKE FIVE AT THE SAME TIME. Which is really nice when we have a new order of roof tiles, which aren’t done on the wheel, BUT STILL its really cool!!!  I can only do one at a time, but I make it the best that I can.

-----

Extra Monologue:

             “Of all the pegasi that fly to the top of the clay cliffs, my father noticed my mother.

              “All the pegasi carry down the clay from the cliff every day, it is placed in the holding pond to sift it for quality of grain. All the unicorns in the workshop go and sort the clay and gather it, (its actually kind of a long process I won’t bore you with the details) there are several of these collection ponds, each pond is for a year and they rotate through them. Everyone gets their clay from these ponds. There are a few, usually the masters, who have smaller collection ponds, they take extra time to sift the clay and sort it. They can get very different colors of slip clay that way and make new works and patterns. My father was the master of the workshop, so of course he had his own collection ponds. He used these ponds as an excuse to talk to my mother, he convinced her to gather clay from specific places on the cliff and bring it only to him, this way he got to talk to her multiple times a day, instead of just once a day, when all the other pegasi came back. Eventually she figured out that he just wanted to talk to her.

               “My father was the master of the workshop for a very long time. He created many new designs and made many new spells just for decorating and forming the clay, these spells are still used today. I have been able to learn three of his paint-pattern spells, well they are the simple lest ones, as I am really not good at magic, but they are still very important to me, I consider those spells some of my greatest accomplishments. He died when I was little; I miss him every day, but I still wanted to get into the workshop he worked in. I barely passed the timed test, making a full piece in a day, BUT I DID IT. My mother is so proud. I have spent the last few years studying and creating, but now I find it hard to be taken seriously, not from my looks, but because of my heritage. Everyone keeps trying to give me things, like my father’s old studio, full access to the archives, everything is given to me. But I am trying to earn it.  That’s why I’m moving, I’m going to make my own studio, my own projects, my own ideas. I have already learned everything that I can from my father’s works, and the old studios.

               “I am ready to make my mark.”

-----

Thank you to everyone who submitted their awesome entries! YOU’RE ALL GREAT AND I’M SORRY I CAN ONLY PICK ONE! 

And don’t forget, you can still enter

Deadline: August 31st!

Three Can Keep a Secret (if two of them are dead) - Ch. 1

Fandom: Detroit: Become Human Chapter 1 of 2 Characters: Connor, Cole, minor-OC's Warnings: Ref-rape (non-explicit), Drug abuse, homelessness. Summary: During a home-invasion gone wrong, Connor tries to protect his brothers using the gun his father keeps locked away. Disaster strikes and Connor runs away... Read on AO3 | Fanfiction.net

Connor ran.

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Mother and Father weren’t meant to be home yet.

They had told the babysitter they would be back before midnight and to make sure the boys were in bed and tucked in for their goodnight kisses. The babysitter had laughed and nodded and said not to worry. Connor had grabbed a movie off the shelf, Caleb had gone to get the secret candy stash Mother didn’t know about, while Niles toddled in a circle chasing the cats. They’d all settled in to watch Ice Age with their snacks in hand, the babysitter elsewhere in the house on the phone.

Mother and Father weren’t meant to be home yet. So, who was opening the back door?

Connor nudged Niles off his lap and padded towards the kitchen to investigate. He waved off Caleb’s shout of “I’m not pausing the movie!”

There was a skkkrtch that faintly reminded Connor of when the cats wanted back in with a bird in their claws. What was that?

The kitchen light was off, the only real lights in the house were in the living room from the TV and the dining room where the babysitter was doing homework. There was a little light from the kitchen door’s auto sensor. Someone was outside.

“Hey Dave.” Connor called out to the sitter.

“Yeah Connor?”

“Can you come into the kitchen for a sec’?”

There was a clutter, a book closing, then the sound of footsteps. The footsteps stuttered, stopped. Connor turned to look at the sitter – their face was white as sheet. “Is that your friend–?” Dave grabbed Connor and dragged him back into the living room.

“Turn off the tv.” He ordered, picking Niles up.

“But it’s just getting to the good part!” Caleb complained, pouting at the dark screen.

“I don’t care.” Dan said. “Go upstairs right now and hide. I must get my phone, I- shit, I left it in the dining room.” He shoved Niles into Connor’s arms. “Connor take your brothers upstairs and hide right now! Don’t come out for anyone.”

“O-kay.” Connor replied, feeling scared from the sitter’s words. “What’s happening?”

“There’s a bad person outside right now and I have to call the police. You need to hide right now. Run.”

Connor hefted Niles on his hip and grabbed Caleb’s hand. Together they ran upstairs to their parents’ room. “In the closet!” Caleb crawled behind the shoe stack and held his arms out for Niles. Connor handed the boy over. He hesitated. “Should I get Father’s gun?” He whispered to Caleb, worried.

“Yes.” Caleb agreed, nodding his head quickly. “Father says his gun is for emergencies and this is an emergency, Connor!”

“Okay okay!” Connor slipped across the room to the gun locker. Father had the pistol locked away under the bed for –

“Emergencies, Connor. If anyone tries to hurt you or Noah or Niles or Caleb or Mother, I have it for your safety. I want you safe.”

– ease of access. Father showed him where the key was and how to get it out and ready. But Father did it in the light and it was too dark.

“Caleb I’m going to turn on a light.” He whispered a warning. The light flickered and Connor was temporarily stunned. Too bright, too bright, too bright.

“Connor!” Caleb yelped. “He’ll see.”

“I know, I know, but I have to load it.” Hurriedly, he shoved the bullets in and flicked the switch. Once more they were swamped in darkness.

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Connor ran.

He couldn’t go back. He couldn’t face mother or father with the truth of what he did. He was a bad boy.

Dark shapes followed him down the street. Screams of pain from little brothers and sticky fingers pressed against hurting tummies. Hands holding darkness from seeping away. Elbows red from carpet burns, harsh and mild, so red compared to the dark goo.

Why why why why Connor why.

Crying, Caleb pushed Connor away from Niles. Sticky hands left sticky tattoos. Itchy, crumbling scabs of fear. Why why why why Connor why.

The man pushed- grabbed- dragging Caleb away no that’s my brother leave him alone! – Away went Caleb and a cra-ack! And a thump. The man came back for Connor no-no-no- that was my brother you killed my brother Caleb! Connor screamed and bit and fought and tried to get to Niles Niles can you hear me? Niles wake up!

The man kicked Connor come here you little brat I’m going to get you for that and Connor cried and grappled the carpet. Burns scratched all along his arms, fingers bled from his grip the gun the gun he needed to get the gun.

Connor hurt the bad man. Connor hurt his brothers. The bad man hurt his brothers. The bad man hurt Connor.

Why Connor, why? Why did you let him kill Caleb? Why did you kill Niles? Why did you kill the bad man? It should have been him. He was supposed to protect Niles and Caleb.

He should be on the floor, bled out. He should be without breath. He should be dead.

Connor ran.

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“Come on man.” Connor wheedled, a familiar ache pounding against his skull, shaking his bones. “I got you your cash, hand me the shit.” The itch. The itch was back. Crackling and flaking from his arms, handprints of terror tattooed on his chest. Connor needed the drug to chase away the crying and the screaming.

“Alright.” The dealer held out his hand. “Let me see what you’ve got, and I’ll get your shit.”

Connor thrust his hand into his pocket and pulled out a wad of green. He carefully laid the stack in the dealer’s hands and anxiously wrung his own. “There’s enough. I made sure.”

The dealer carefully picked through the bills, counting in an excruciatingly slow manner. Connor clenched his jaw. "Alright man. That's enough for two bags. I’m raising the prices soon so you’re gonna have to hold out or find another income real soon.”

“What?” Connor couldn’t believe it. “You raised the prices two weeks ago!”

“Yeah and the cops are rubbing really hard on our asses right about now. It’s dangerous distributing. You gotta pay me well enough for me to keep doing it.” He shrugged. “Just business man. Here’s your package, see ya around. Or not.” He tipped two fingers Connor’s way and sauntered off.

Connor shoved the packages into his pockets and scurried away. They would only last him so long – the increase in prices was not good news, Connor needed a new dealer. That was a worry for another day, he needed to go to his bench. A ten-minute walk was almost too much for Connor’s heart.

Small shadows flitted back and forth across his path. A small shape was walking parallel to his path, head tucked against the biting wind and shoulders hunched. They didn’t look Connor’s way and he didn’t look theirs. Just a bit further.

His bench cast in darkness by the burnt lamppost overhead. Connor slumped into the familiar embrace and pulled out the smaller packet. Fingers numb from the cold; he opened the pack and laid a line across his arm. The powder stuck to the blood pooling out, shaped as hands clutched tight.

Connor squeezed his eyes tight and snorted the line. He wiped a finger across the arm to gather any excess powder and placed it against his gums. The flickering shapes stopped dancing, stopped taunting and faded away. The cold melted off his hands and floated to the sky. Connor relaxed into the bench and sighed.

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A small boy clutched at Connor’s jacket. Wide eyes filled with fear and tears begged him to help. Connor couldn’t. He couldn’t. He turned away from the tight grasp and tried to walk faster. Snow crunched below their pair of feet. Quick snaps from the child and long slow ones from him.

“Go away.” Connor whispered, increasing his speed. “Get off me.” The child held tight, stumbling to keep up.

Ahead, a bark of laughter prickled his skin. A snowball narrowly missed his head and splatted on the ground behind him. A pair of boys jeered loudly and danced along the road. One boy glanced at Connor’s companion and gestured. Come here. Come play with us.

Connor felt the head shake hard beside him. No. No I won’t.

“Go.” Connor pled. “Go to them, leave me.”

Why? Why don’t you want me? The other asked, gazing at him.

Connor realized they’d halted. “Go play with them. I’m not– I can’t help you.”

Laughter beckoned to the small boy. Shouts of joy, floating high above the streets as notes would in a song.

Echoes.

No. I have a question. Connor shuddered. Why Connor, why? The two boys had stopped their playing, they were behind the one clutching Connor. Together they stared hard at Connor, tears glistening their faces.

A bloom of red appeared on one’s chest. Hard coughs spewing ruby specks in the snow. Sticky hands and sticky fingers clutching their chest and crying crying why why why Connor why. The other yelled and flailed and – no that’s my brother he’s mine don’t take him don’t take my brother – disappeared.

Sticky hands clutched knotted hair. Connor hid behind his arms, crying at the screams that’s my brother Connor why why why did you kill my brother why. A small hand clutched his coat and tugged. Look at me Connor. Sticky hands and sticky fingers staining clothes. Connor, Connor look at me.

Connor moaned and opened his eyes. The little boy’s hands were covered in blood. The stench of iron coated his every breath. You killed them, Connor.

“No, I didn’t mean– please no…”

Why Connor? Why did you kill them? We killed them, Connor. The boy looked away; his shoulders hunched. No one can know. I don’t want you to leave me too. Don’t kill me, Connor. I don’t want to die.

“Oh God, I won’t! I swear no one will know! I won’t kill you too, I’m sorry!”

Remember Connor. The boy was fading, his grip loose and bloodied hands dry. Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.

Connor collapsed where he was. “I’ll remember! I will remember! No one will know, I promise! Please, don’t leave me.”

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Echoes.

Connor why?

Whispers.

Leave me.

Screams.

No! No! That’s my brother!

Silence.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

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Tuesday Night Terror

Last night, on Willow Ave on the Northeast side of Detroit, the quiet town of Greentown was awakened by the sound of gunshots. The Stern household was the first of several households to be broken into by a gang searching for treasures and monies. While many experienced great loss of goods, none drew close to the horrors of the Stern household.

A trio of men (pictured below) broke in through the back door. None but the children and babysitter were home. The babysitter sent the children to hide upstairs while he called the police.

Read more Pg 13.

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“You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used–” An authoritative voice was reciting Connor’s dealer’s rights to him as he handcuffed the man.

Connor hugged his knees tight and held his breath. He had waited a few weeks before returning with the new cash ready for his next packet, only to nearly trip into the middle of a drug bust. Thank goodness he’d noticed the stakeout for what it was and not approached his dealer. Thank goodness his shadows were around. Connor! They’d made him twitchy and paranoid. Connor had crumpled by the dumpster to let them run their course before he approached his dealer – he hadn’t wanted the man to know how crazy he truly was.

Come play! A hand grasped his and required all self-preservation Connor had not to run away. The police were still combing the area for any other druggies hiding out. As much as Connor needed to flee, the desire to hide was greater. Why won’t you play, Connor? If he could hold out against the phantoms, if he could resist engaging with them then he’d be free to find another dealer. The prices might be higher with the recent busts and increased crack-downs on dealing, but he really had no choice.

Connor look at me! The back of his knees itched; cold sweat created small rivulets and tickled his calves. Hold out, Connor, hold out! Don’t make me scream, Connor. He could feel his hands aching from the pressure he was exerting. His back, sore from the hard wall he pressed against.

His breath hitched, catching deep in his chest. He couldn’t he wouldn’t. A fist slammed against his forehead, wailing rising high into the streets for all to hear - No that’s my brother! Connor why would you kill my brother? Why why why whywhywhywhy Connor! He dug a fingernail into the bed of another, dwelled in the sharp pain it stimulated. Harder, he pushed to focus. Sharp and clear. Crystal intensity.

The wail faded. Goodnight Connor. He opened his eyes and relaxed his grip, unsurprised to see the sticky fingers. He gently placed his thumb in his mouth to clean away the spill.

Clarity.

The police were gone – much time had passed.

He staggered to his feet, muscles cramped and complaining. The crave for the drugs was waking again. He needed a new dealer – soon.

“You need to get clean, man.”

“Yeah.” Connor agreed, swiping the powder and setting a line. “You too, if we’re talking about this.”

“Ah shaddup.” The other shrugged, taking the bag back once Connor was done. “Imagine this: A nice little home, controlling doctors and nurses, keeping our intakes safe. Let them wean us off the drug until we’re happy and healthy and ready to face the world!”

“Sounds like a load of bullshit.” A skinny, sharp-angled boy murmured, snorting a line.

“I have to agree with Dan.” Connor nodded, relaxing into the couch. “Where would we get the cash, anyway? Hospitals and rehab centers – that shit’s expensive.”

“You two.” He pointed at the pair, finger wavering side-to-side. “Are so negative.”

“You get these from that new dealer, ah Cole, right?” Dan ignored him.

“Yeah, the kid’s got no clue how to sell. He’s balls to the walls cheap.”

“Done your research, have you?” Connor asked.

“Yeah. I dunno how he’s planning on selling at any even rate, to be honest. His dad is a fucking cop. I bought this shit because it was the cheapest around for miles – and it’s good too! I doubt he will be in the market for long, if you’re asking me this is him being rebellious against the Man.”

Dan scoffed. “Of course, we’re asking you, asshole. You’re in the Know.”

“Perfect.” Connor gazed at the ceiling of his friend’s apartment. “I’ll load up my wallet and get the full shipment from him until you find another steady supplier.”

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Cole, the new dealer, was all soft hair and brown eyes. He looked too young to be dealing – let alone in the rough neighborhood Connor lived. The atmosphere around the young man was strange, Connor mused; so fresh and new at the scene, Cole was like a summer breeze in the dead of winter. He brightened the alley he dealt in, a slight crooked smile for his druggies. Though, Connor could see a familiar, cracked interior he saw every time he looked – really looked – in a window. Broken, jagged; Cole’s smile was twisted.

Even so, Connor slunk over. “You dealin’?” He questioned, hands in pockets. Casually he leant against the wall and pulled out a cigarette. Cole obligingly lit the cigarette. At least the kid knew the lingo.

“Got a cig for me?” He replied, hand out expectantly.

“Anything for a pal.” Connor pulled out two packs. “Red or blue?”

“Blue.”

He wedged a $50 in the pack and tossed it over. “Thanks, champ.” Cole replied, pulled a cigarette out and slipped the $50 in his pocket.

“Anytime.” They both smoked in silence, listening to the rush of wind. When Connor finished his, he ground the butt against the wall and dropped it. He turned to Cole and held out his hand. “Nice hanging out with ya.”

Cole itched his shoulder and slipped him a baggy as they bumped fists. “See ya around.”

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“You sure you want to do this?” Connor asked, bumping shoulders with Gregory as they stared at the house before them.

“Yeah. Let’s try it out – Mom upped my allowance last week and I’ve got loads to spend on important shit, like healthy foods and paper towels. Besides, if the whole therapy thing really sucks, I have stashes in my apartment. We can always get a boost before the next sesh.”

Gregory had convinced Connor to try rehab with him. Not for any other reason than to see if it could stick. Connor doubted it would stick, what with his little demons coming to visit at all odd hours. But Gregory said he’d pay for Connor’s next batch if he was willing to hold out for a week with him.

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Connor regretted this.

Come play Connor!

He fucking regretted this.

Why Connor why?

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Connor felt like a hypocrite when he took his stash of drugs and sold them for cash – to pay for his own rehab. He didn’t want to take Greg’s money; his mother would question the sudden expense and Connor couldn’t drain his friend dry.

Rehab was fucking pricey.

But Connor and Greg self-admitted and tried, they tried so hard.

Greg couldn’t do it – he shook and cried at night, the pain of withdrawal leaving him in agony. He begged Connor for forgiveness and ran away. Three days later Connor saw Greg again. He flickered in the shadows and asked why Connor why why?

Connor wept.

The aches were debilitating – the eager boyish laughter, the wails of pain and begging why why why why why why were crippling.

Connor needed to get away from the drug; he didn’t know why why why why Connor why.

Days passed spent following the mandatory routine, the halls filled with shadows and screamings of real others, begging for a hit, a line, something to ease the ache. Their cries and rebellion helped distract Connor from his demons. If he could just hold out for one more day.

Then next Connor knew, the drug money was spent, and he was back on the streets. Weeks of steady meals and comfortable beds filled his mind. He had survived so long without the substance. But the silence was back, and with it a pitter patter of tiny feet and clutching hands sticky hands with sticky fingers held his coat.

Carefully, Connor stepped into the world and refused to look down. He needed to live. He needed to leave it behind.

Where are you going Connor?

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Chapter 2

six / spice night

uni AU co-written with @ineffably-styles

a story of late nights, unorthodox household plants, and a trip to Vegas that changes everything

“All right then!” Niall clapped his hands, a dangerous spark in his eyes. “Hope you're ready," he grinned and Savannah thought he looked almost sadistic. "Never have I ever..." he trailed off glancing carefully at everyone in the room. His eyes lingered slightly longer on Savannah and Harry before his lips quirked up into a semi-smirk. "Let's start off with an easy one. Never have I ever slept with anyone in this room."

chapter five / story page

“Someone please remind again me why we’re here,” Savannah groaned, reaching over and swiping a drink from Reyna’s bag. She’d come packed with bagged sandwiches and everyone’s favourite drink along with bottles of water in a neatly organised backpack that she’d made Zayn carry.

“I want to be here about as much as you do,” she grumbled in reply, trying to shield her eyes from the glare of the sun. “And I forgot my sunglasses too, can you believe how shit this day is already?”

“Hey, cheer up,” Zayn laughed, also grabbing a drink from the bag. “Look, we just scored a goal.”

“We did?” Reyna squinted at the scoreboard, where sure enough, the point tally had risen by one in favour of UCL. “When did that happen?”

“I’m guessing just before our side of the field started cheering,” Alexa mused sarcastically as she finished off her sandwich, earning herself a swat from Reyna. “Hey! You’re the one who asked.”

“I didn’t appreciate your tone of voice,” she replied as Zayn chuckled.

“I feel like bringing you guys here was a big mistake on Louis’ part,” he said thoughtfully.

“You got that right,” Savannah replied tiredly, eyes trained on the field. The only thing that she could gather was that the side she was supposed to be cheering for were in the blue and that one of their players was in possession of the ball. “Look, something’s happening!”

“That’s Harry,” Zayn explained. “He’s got the number 10 jersey on.”

“That makes him the attacking midfielder, right?” Reyna asked, biting into the sandwich she had in her hand. “What?” she asked, when the others shot her an astonished glance.

“Since when do you know anything about football?” Savannah asked, glancing at the field when the opposing team’s supporters started cheering.

“That was bullshit!” Reyna yelled in return. “Louis didn’t even tackle him! The twat faked it!” she grumbled. “I couldn’t sleep last night,” she explained to her friends.

“So you ended up on Wikipedia,” Alexa supplied.

“Figured I might as well learn something for today,” she shrugged. “You know how I hate not knowing things.”

“Yeah, but we’ve got Zayn to teach us,” Savannah pointed out.

“Uh, yeah,” Zayn scratched the back of his neck. “I mean, I could try and explain things to you, but chances are I’ll be wrong. I told you guys I was never any good. I used to always accidentally scrape the ball with a part of my hand and that’s like an automatic free kick for the other team. Eventually they ended up putting me in goal. They figured I couldn’t cause much damage from there. Too bad I’m like super skinny and have next to no muscle mass, so I was a pretty shit goalkeeper too,” he grinned.

“So when you said you stopped playing, did you actually stop playing or were you dropped from the team?” Reyna teased, making Zayn laugh.

“Nah, I actually quit. They threw me a party and everything, but I always suspected that was more because they were glad to be rid of me than for anything else.”

“Well, it’s -”

“That was a blatant penalty! What the fuck is the ref doing just standing there. There’s a whistle in your mouth for a reason, BLOW IT!” Reyna suddenly yelled.

Savannah looked towards the field, noting the way a group of players had huddled around a fallen body, they moved apart a little and she was able to spot that it was Harry who was wincing a little as someone prodded his ankle.

“Is he all right?” she asked worriedly.

“I think so,” Zayn replied, equally worried. “Yeah,” he sighed in relief, the worry clearing from his face as Harry clambered back onto his feet. “He should be fine.”

“What happened to him?” Alexa asked, settling back into her seat as a free kick was handed to their team.

“Illegal tackle,” Reyna answered, still scowling at the field. “The twat should have been given a yellow card for that.”

“It wasn’t that bad, Rey,” Zayn laughed.

“Harry could have been hurt,” she insisted. “It was dangerous,” she crossed her arms across her chest.

“Got a bit of a crush on him, do you?” Zayn joked, making Reyna scoff.

“According to Louis, Harry’s their best striker. I’ve got money riding on this game and if Harry’s hurt then we’re not very likely to win, are we?” she grumbled, cracking open a bottle of coca cola.

“So you’re more worried about losing the game than an injured friend?” Alexa asked, her tone holding a little bit of judgment behind it.

“Bones heal,” was all Reyna said, before glancing at the disapproving look on her friend’s face. She rolled her eyes. “Fine, if you had to pick between a painting from eons ago that no one’s ever seen before, preserved in pristine condition and Harry not breaking a leg, which would you pick?” she asked.

“The painting,” Alexa replied without blinking.

“Exactly my point.”

“Yeah, but Lex’s choosing a priceless painting, you’re just choosing yourself,” Savannah cut in, the three of them completely tuning out of the match, leaving Zayn the only one who was paying any attention to the field.

Reyna snorted. “Please, if you were given the choice of never owning another plant again or Harry breaking his leg, you’d choose the broken leg,” she said to Sav.

“While that may be true,” Savannah paused. “Yeah, I’ve got no defense. I’d choose the broken leg. Like Rey said, bones heal,” she smiled sheepishly.

“All I got from this conversation,” Zayn mused, interrupting the three of them, “is that you’d all let Harry suffer from a broken leg if it meant getting what you wanted.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Savannah challenged as Reyna crossed her arms and stared him down. Alexa was the only one who seemed to have any sense of shame for her choice.

“Let’s put it this way, if I was given a choice between passing my biochemistry unit and Harry not breaking his leg, I’d pick passing.”

“So basically, we’re all selfish.”

“Yeah,” he grinned. “At least we’re all in this together.”

“Don’t you dare start singing High School Musical,” Alexa glared at Sav and Rey.

“Us? Never,” they said simultaneously, donning an innocent expression.

Lex merely shook her head. “How long until this game is over?” she asked Zayn, leaving Reyna and Sav to grin at one another happily.

“There’s another 15 minutes game time, so maybe around 20 minutes?” he posed it as a question.

“So that’s at least another hour till they’re out of the locker rooms,” she sighed.

“That was a bullshit call!” Reyna yelled suddenly, making her friends jump in response.

“You’ve really gotta warn people before you yell like that, Rey,” Alexa sighed.

“It’s not my fault the referee is shit. I bet he went to a public school.”

“Hey! I went to a public school!” Savannah said indignantly.

“Yeah, but you’re different. You’re going to college, that shitty ref is not,” she grumbled, pulling out a bottle of water.

“Actually,” Zayn squinted down at the field. “I think he’s a professor at King’s.”

“That’s bloody worse! Bias is a real thing people,” Reyna ranted.

“You don’t even like football,” Sav said, exasperated.

“That’s not the point. Do you want us to lose against King’s?” she glared at her friends, who shot her equal looks of disdain at the mention of their rival university. “Exactly, then I think it’s time we cheer because Harry’s just about to score another goal,” she said happily, just as the crowd around them erupted into applause.

-

“So, what did you guys think of the match?” Louis asked, bounding up to them as he, Harry and Niall finally walked out of the locker rooms.

“It was good,” Reyna shrugged. “Glad we won.”

“How’s your ankle, Harry?” Zayn asked, before Louis could say anything in response to Reyna’s less than enthusiastic response.

“Just a little banged up,” he shrugged.

“It’ll match his face soon,” Niall grinned gleefully.

“Piss off,” Savannah glared at him, her cheeks pinking up as everyone glanced at Harry’s bruised face.

“So, where to now?” Alexa asked, while Harry glared at them all, seeming thoroughly unimpressed.

“I need to head home to shower,” he muttered. “Dunno about the rest of you.”

“You didn’t shower in there?” Reyna gestured roughly behind them as they all began to walk towards their respective vehicles.

“God no,” Harry screwed up his face in disgust. “It’s a mess in there.”

“Also, last time he showered, his clothes were stolen,” Louis pointed out helpfully.

“Don’t remind me,” Harry scowled. “Bloody King’s students. I don’t understand why anybody would go to that rotten college in the first place.”

“Rotten,” Louis snorted. “My nan uses that phrase when she’s talking about teenagers. You know what I predict for you, Haz?” he held his hand up to his head the way Sav had seen psychics do at carnivals. “I predict that you’re going to be an angry old man yelling at children to get off his lawn.”

“Shove off,” Harry grumbled. “I love kids.”

Alexa sighed loudly, garnering everyone’s attention. “Is anyone actually going to come up with something to do because if not, I’ve got a couple of tv shows calling my name on Netflix.”

“We’re going down to the bar to celebrate,” Niall said quickly.

“Now?” Reyna put her hands on her waist. “It’s barely mid-afternoon. I’m not going to the bar at this time like some sort of alcoholic. Give me a week or two more of classes and then you’ll find me day drinking,” she joked.

“We can meet at Zayn and Niall’s?” Louis mused. “For pre-drinks.”

“Why at our place?” Zayn frowned, thinking back to last week’s party.

“Because, it’s closest to the bar,” Harry backed Louis up.

“So it’s decided, then. We’ll meet there around five-ish?” Savannah waited until everyone was in agreement, albeit grudgingly in Zayn’s case, before she turned to face Louis. “We carpooled with Zayn, think you could drop us off home since you’re heading that way anyway?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure,” he smiled, twirling his keys around his fingers before unlocking the door and allowing them all to climb in. Savannah swore mentally as Louis cut Harry off as they made their way out of the parking lot and watched as Harry flipped them the bird in return.

It was going to be a long drive.

-

“Never have I ever…” Niall began, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Fuck no,” Louis spoke up, taking a swig from his beer bottle. The group had all reconciled back and Zayn and Niall’s for a couple of drinks before heading out to a bar down the road. Where they had managed to find the energy after a football match, Savannah didn’t know, but she kind of wished she had that come exam time.

“Why not? It’ll be fun,” Niall argued, watching the random cricket match that was playing in the background.

“I agree with Niall… it’s better that watching that rubbish that he and Louis have got playing,” Reyna spoke up, shooting daggers at Louis who was not listening to a word that she was saying, his eyes trained on the TV. “Besides, it’ll let us all get to know one another on a more personal level,” she grinned.

“Right, cos knowing that Niall wet the bed until he was twelve is really something we can all bond over,” Harry rolled his eyes sarcastically.

“Oi!” Niall yelled. “You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!” he grumbled, before switching the subject back to the game - much to Sav’s disappointment. “So, are we playing then?”

Savannah glanced around anxiously at everyone else. If there was a drinking game that she hated, it was Never Have I Ever.

"I'm in," Harry spoke up, distracting Savannah from her thoughts. She turned her head sharply towards him, her eyes wide. She couldn't believe he'd just agreed to a game Niall had suggested - she couldn’t believe Reyna had either. From the short amount of time that she’d known Niall, she’d pretty much gathered that he and Louis’ suggestions often went ignored...except for tonight, apparently.   

"I’m in too, I guess," Zayn shrugged, rolling his eyes. "Not like I had anything important to do before you lot hijacked my flat," he said sarcastically.

"Fuck off, Z," Niall scoffed. "You’ve been sat in your room playing with paint since we got back."

"I wasn't playing with paint, you tosser," Zayn crossed his arms. "I was working on an art project."

"Really?" Alexa turned towards Zayn, her attention piqued at the mention of art. 

"Not now Lex," Reyna groaned from where she was frowning over at Louis, her eyes flicking from him to the television remote in contemplation. “We know how much you love art, but once you start you’re pretty much dead to the world for the next few hours.”

"I can show you some of my stuff later if you'd like,” he said, glancing at Lex. “They're not very good though," he warned as an afterthought.

"I'm sure that's not-"

"Excuse me," Alexa was cut off by Niall, and Savannah felt her shoulders slump. "You two in?" Niall asked Savannah and Alexa.

“Yeah, ok,” Alexa nodded, making Savannah sigh when everyone turned to stare at her. “Don’t have much of a choice now, do I?” she said bitterly.

“Louis,” Reyna tapped him on the shoulder. “Turn that bloody game off and join in with the rest of us.”

“It’s England versus Australia, Rey,” Louis said, barely glancing away from the television screen.

“All the more reason to turn it off, England sucks,” she snorted. “Cricket is worse than football, if you ask me,” she retorted, trying to grab the remote that Louis held away from her reach.

“You are the most uncultured person I know,” Niall muttered, re-entering the lounge with a tray filled with various alcoholic drinks - Savannah hadn’t even realised he’d left the room.

Louis turned away from the screen long enough to roll his eyes. “The only sport you’d willingly watch is the tennis,” he raised a brow, daring Reyna to argue with him. When no argument came, he continued, “And personally, I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than sit through another year of the Wimbledon.”

“You can always check the score later, mate,” Zayn said from where he’d taken a seat beside Alexa. They’d all rearranged themselves into a small circle in the middle of Niall and Zayn’s lounge room after Harry had moved the small coffee table to rest against a wall.

“Bloody hell,” Louis huffed. “Fine. But I’m only agreeing because it’s looking like England is getting their arse handed to them.”

“As usual,” Reyna commented, only to be ignored.

“So you’re playing?” Savannah asked miserably.

“That’s what it looks like,” he grumbled, grabbing a beer from Niall. “Budge up,” he ordered, before dropping onto the floor between Savannah and Reyna.

“Who’s going first?” Alexa asked.

“We’ll go in a circle,” Niall grinned, pouring everyone a shot and handing them out evenly.

“Shots? Really, Niall?” Savannah rolled her eyes, taking her glass from Louis. “You’re going to poison us all.”

Niall let out a loud laugh and Savannah found herself wondering if he’d maybe snuck in a few drinks beforehand. “That’s just to loosen us up, Sav,” he explained. “We’re not going to take shots after every question. That’s what the beers are for. Bottoms up,” he said cheerily before knocking back his glass. “I’ll go first then Zayn, Alexa and so forth,” he waved his hands dismissively, eager for the game to begin.

Savannah sent out a silent prayer before following suit, making a face as the alcohol burned its way down her throat. She considered asking for another shot, but decided that getting piss drunk probably wasn’t in her best interests tonight.

“All right then!” Niall clapped his hands, a dangerous spark in his eyes. “Hope you're ready," he grinned and Savannah thought he looked almost sadistic. "Never have I ever..." he trailed off glancing carefully at everyone in the room. His eyes lingered slightly longer on Savannah and Harry before his lips quirked up into a semi-smirk. "Let's start off with an easy one. Never have I ever slept with anyone in this room."

"Wait," Louis interrupted loudly. "Do you mean shagged or actually slept? Because if it's just slept then I've slept with most of you at least once. Sometimes twice, if you're lucky," he stated slyly.

"Shagged," Niall said immediately. "I definitely meant shagged." And Savannah was sure he had momentarily glanced over at her as he said so.

She bit her lip to hide a groan as she took a swig from her beer, refusing to look over at Harry. She knew, theoretically that everyone probably already knew about the two of them but confirming it during a drinking game just seemed a lot more confronting to her; as if she was sealing the final nail on her own coffin, dramatic as that may be. So when she took a swig of her beer, she might have taken a little bit more than was necessary.

Zayn was next and she felt like she’d be a lot safer with anything he could throw at her. “Never have I ever,” he paused in the contemplative manner that she thought only he could pull off, “gotten into a physical altercation,” he shrugged.

“Fight. You mean you’ve never had a fight,” Louis rolled his eyes. “There’s no need to be so bloody formal while we’re playing a fucking drinking game.”

“Oh, piss off,” Zayn retorted. “Fight, then,” he rolled his eyes.

Then came Alexa’s turn. Savannah assumed that most people would feel comforted knowing that it was their best friends’ turn, feel safe even. But Sav found herself breaking out into a nervous sweat because while they were her best friends, they were also the ones who knew the most about her - which meant they could, with a single sentence, essentially ruin her life.

“Never have I ever pretended to regret sleeping with someone,” Alexa said quickly and Savannah breathed out a breath of air as not only she but Louis, Niall and Harry also took sips of their beer.

It was her turn next and she was determined to make Niall drink again - not that it seemed like he cared. She rather thought he was hoping he’d get to drink himself. “Never have I ever failed to make someone orgasm,” she smirked, raising a challenging brow as all four boys glanced down and away from everyone else. She was delighted when they all brought their drinks up to their mouth and took long drawn out gulps. She was even more giddy when she spotted the significant pinkness she could spot on Niall’s usually pale cheeks.

Louis cleared his throat. “Right,” he said awkwardly. “My turn. Uh, never have I ever made friends with a one night stand.”

As expected she and Harry took sips, Reyna doing the same and collectively surprising everyone in the room.

“What?” she shrugged. “He was a nice lad.”

“Who was it?” Lex asked curiously.

“Someone from uni,” she waved her off, returning back to the game. “My turn,” she said cheerfully. “Never have I ever had to ask someone if we’d shagged because I wasn’t sure.”

Savannah, Zayn, Niall and Harry all took a sip, sparking a discussion as to with whom and when and how it had happened. The only one who had been willing to disclose any of the details was Niall who launched into a detailed story about a girl he’d met named Olivia.

Harry and Savannah shared a mutual grimace - whether at Niall’s story or the reminder that neither of them had been sure what had happened the first night they’d met, she wasn’t sure - before turning away and back to Niall who was still in the middle of a story. She sighed, tracing the neck of her beer as she waited for Niall to finish his tale complete with hand gestures and sound effects that no one really wanted to see or hear.   

“It’s my turn, innit?” Harry spoke once he was done in that deep, slow drawl he had. “Never have I ever,” he paused for a second, as if choosing his words carefully, “lobbed a textbook at an innocent person’s face.”

He turned to grin at Savannah, his face expectant.

“I hate you,” she deadpanned before taking a long gulp of her beer, glaring daggers at a smug Harry. “Can’t leave that in the past, can you?”

Harry scoffed, pointing a finger to the bruise that was still quite prominent on his cheekbone. “I’ve been walking around looking like a tosser who’s been socked in the face. I’m never letting you hear the end of it.”

“It does look pretty bad, mate,” Louis piped up unhelpfully. Harry’s attempts at telling the story to Louis himself had completely failed - Zayn had already texted him earlier about what happened - which meant that Louis had given him shit for getting hit in the first place, and also for not telling him about it as soon as it had happened.

“Thank you so much, Lou. Thanks for your input. It was appreciated greatly,” Harry said sarcastically.

“Alright, this game looks like it’s pretty much over,” Alexa interrupted them. “Are we ready to head off?” she asked, checking her phone for the time. “It’s almost half eight and we want to get good seats.”

Everyone started to get up and gather their things. Savannah helped Reyna pack away the empty bottles of beer, and lingered behind the group while everyone filed out of the door. Harry was still by the kitchen counter, shrugging on his jacket.

“I really am sorry about this, you know,” she said, waving her hand in the general direction of his cheek.

“I know,” he replied. “It’s ok, really. I’m just taking the piss,” he reassured her upon seeing the worried look on her face. “Come on, we should go. Don’t wanna be late.”

-

The atmosphere around the bar was buzzing by the time they all got there and Louis and Reyna immediately disconnected from the group to find them a table large enough to fit them all. In the end, they managed to all squeeze in a booth towards the front of the room, right in front of the mic stand after Reyna had done some negotiating with the previous two occupants. 

“Look, we’ve got a perfect view of the stage,” Louis commented, setting a handful of beers down on the table and seating himself beside Harry. 

“They are pretty good seats,” Harry agreed. “We got lucky.” 

“Yeah,” Savannah snorted. “Lucky is one way to put it. What’d you promise them, Rey?” 

“Nothing,” Reyna shrugged. “I asked nicely if they could pretty please move so we could sit.” 

“Right,” Lex dragged out the word, “‘cause that always works, doesn’t it?” 

“So I might have bribed them a little,” Reyna shrugged. 

“With what?” Savannah asked, sipping on a beer while she watched the guy up on the stage try his hand at some standup comedy. 

“Told him Louis would buy them a bottle of whatever they want,” Reyna shrugged, following Savannah’s line of sight. “This guy sucks.” 

“You did what?” Louis demanded. “And yeah, he does suck. Even I could do better than him.” 

“I told them to put it on your tab,” she grinned. “Not like you can’t afford it.”

“Can we go back to the part where Louis claimed he could do better than the lad on stage?” Harry cut in. 

“Yeah,” Zayn nodded. 

“I’d pay to see that happen. And for the inevitable show that would follow from the crowd’s reaction.” 

“Oh please,” Louis scoffed, “I’ll be the best act up there tonight.” 

“Oh no-” Alexa muttered under her breath, predicting what was going to happen before it did. 

“Then prove it,” Harry said simply, challenging Louis with a smirk while the others watched on gleefully. 

“You’ll have to do better than that, Styles,” he huffed in reply. “I’m not doing this without some form of payment.” 

“500 quid.” 

“Deal.” In a flash, Louis got up and disappeared amongst the tables, no doubt on his way to find the sign up sheet. 

Reyna sighed. “Look what you’ve done!” she glared at Harry and Zayn accusingly. “You’re paying the tab if he embarrasses us all.” 

“I’m out, I’m already five hundred quid down because of this mess,” Harry replied, looking stubborn. 

“Like that was anyone’s fault but yours,” she replied, rolling her eyes before looking over at Zayn. 

He sighed, “Fine.” 

“Is that how you rich kids play?” Savannah spoke up sarcastically. “Bet away the amount of a person’s life savings?” 

Everyone at the table looked away uncomfortably, the silence broken by a loud screeching coming from the microphone as the owner of the particular bar got up to introduce the next act. 

“Wasn’t that just incredible?” he yelled encouragingly to the crowd only to be met with a light splatter of polite applause. “Now our next act is someone a bit more local to us. Enlightening us with his favourite one-liners and punny jokes, we have Louis Tomlinson!”

Louis’ entrance on stage was met with loud, raucous applause - which, Savannah thought, might have been due more to the fact that he frequented the bar every Thursday night rather than his success as a local comedian.

“Good evening, fellow comrades. I hope you’ve been enjoying the acts so far,” Louis began into the microphone. He waited for the cheering to die down before continuing, “Now I’m going to start off the night by asking you all to honour one of our own, Mr Harry Styles.”

“Oh no,” Harry muttered under his breath, eyes narrowing as Louis smirked in his direction from the stage.

"Harry's been having, well, let's just say he's been having some 'performance' issues lately. So I just wanted to reassure him - publicly - that it’s completely normal, and yes, there are medications out there to help with that. A moment of silence for Harry Styles, everyone."

“I’m going to kill him,” Harry muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Well, can you do it after he’s done?” Reyna requested, casually sipping at her drink with one hand and holding her phone up with the other. “I’d really like to get this all on video in case he’s shit.”

“I dunno, he seems to be doing pretty well up there,” Savannah shrugged, as the crowd started laughing at something else Louis had said.  

“For now,” she shrugged, looking quite confident that he’d mess up soon.

“So anyway,” Louis was saying, “it’s quite hard thinking of a funny joke when I’ve got the friends I’ve got. You know, since they’re the biggest jokes anyone will ever come across.”

“I’ll help you kill him,” Reyna leaned over to whisper to Harry.

“No, no, but really,” Louis spoke into the microphone, trying to quieten the crowd’s laughter a little. “My friends can be funny sometimes. Once, when I was quite drunk, I texted Reyna - she’s the one with the phone, guys and gals. I told her that she was my moon and stars and she texted me back - and this is a direct quote - she said, ‘thank you. You’re my pluto’, then she linked me to an article about how pluto no longer existed.”

“I remember that,” Savannah snorted.

“Yeah,” Alexa agreed. “Reyna was quite proud of it. She showed it to everyone who’d listen.”

“Louis did the same thing,” Zayn leaned back, draping his arm over the booth behind Alexa.

Savannah smirked into her drink, turning her attention back to the stage. “Look’s like Louis’ done.”

“Thank god,” Harry snorted. “If I had to listen to another one of his jokes, I was walking out of here.”

“Then you wouldn’t be able to kill him,” Zayn said casually.

“Reyna would do it for me.”

“True,” she agreed. “I probably would have.”

“What would you have done?” Louis asked, sliding back into the booth.

“They’re planning your murder,” Alexa answered him.

“I can’t believe that was actually funny,” Savannah piped up, completely taken by surprise and ignoring the current conversation. “Like, people were legitimately laughing at you.”

“I like to think they were more laughing with me,” Louis shrugged.

“They’ve got shitty taste then, don’t they?” Harry grumbled in reply, still slightly annoyed that he was the first one to be roasted out of the group.

“Aw, don’t worry Harrykins,” Reyna started, cooing at him as he glared at her. “Erectile dysfunction affects about-”

“-please stop talking,” he groaned, running his hands through his hair as he sunk deeper into his seat.

“Alright, alright,” Alexa tried to calm the group, always the voice of reason. “Let’s all just agree that Louis surprised us all and that he did something that none of us would be willing to do.”

“Pft, I could do that,” Harry said stubbornly.

“Really?” Zayn perked up, leaning forward interestedly.

“No, not this again,” Savannah cut in. “We’re going home now,” she told them all decidedly.  

“We’ll talk about this later,” Zayn told him as they all made their way out of the bar, leaving Louis behind to pick up their tab.

“We’re not going to be talking about anything,” he said, charging in front of the group as they made their way down the street back towards Zayn and Niall’s.

“What’s the plan now?” Louis asked, catching up to them as he shoved his wallet back into his pocket.

“We’re going home,” Reyna said, gesturing to herself, Sav and Lex.

“That’s no fun,” he grumbled in reply. “You guys are grandmas.”

“Come again?” she challenged in reply, the cogs turning in her head as she prepared for a fight. Savannah quickly pulled out her phone and ordered an Uber, just in case they needed to make a quick escape.

“Let’s just pretend I never said anything,” Louis said quickly while Harry snickered at his response.

“That’s what I thought,” Reyna replied smugly. Savannah waved to the car pulling to the kerb, before walking up and greeting the driver.

“Let’s go,” she said quickly, opening the door and moving to get in.

“Hold up,” Louis called, halting her mid-movement. “You guys are coming to the party next weekend, right?”

“What party?” Alexa questioned curiously.

“The one at Harry’s,” he replied matter-of-factly, shrugging slightly.

“What? What party? I didn’t plan a party,” Harry piped up quickly, eyes darting from his phone to Louis.

“I did,” Louis said casually, hands in his pockets as he turned towards the street and headed in the opposite direction.

“Wait, Louis-”

“We should go,” Savannah said quickly, climbing into the car. “Good luck,” she said to Zayn, gesturing towards the image of Harry scrambling after Louis while the latter seemed to not notice him.

“Thanks,” he replied sarcastically, waving as he jogged after the pair.

AN: hi guys, sorry again for the one-day lateness but it’s up! let me know what you think xx 

I sort of rearranged 12.21

Ok, so normally I try not to be bitter on here, but I’m human and I need to say something or it will keep me awake. I know I’ve been kind of quiet on here with stuff in my life but I promise this won’t be the norm.

I’m gonna do this a bit differently. This is what happened (that I remember) and what I would do instead. As a note, I don’t entirely blame Bucklemming for this nonsense.(their eps are like this very frequently in comparison to others so I attribute some blame. Are they chosen scape goats by TPTB too? Do they just get all the painful concepts? Doubt it.) Still, several people approved this ep. It went through multiple channels and it lived to fruition. Here’s hoping the finales do something to rectify this nonsense.

I’m mostly going to keep it the same because I don’t know where all of this ends and I want it to be compliant with canon, except uh... some differences. This isn’t great, it’s 3am, but maybe it’ll serve some purpose.

Spoilers below. Like.. immediate spoilers. 

Cold Open: 

Ok, so Eileen being killed was BS. From what I can gather, it was meant to establish 4 things: 

1)Ketch is still an asshole (don’t tell the audience something it already knows) 2)BMoLs are using Hellhounds to kill (which is a BS way for Eileen to go.)  3)Eileen is dead (Why?) 4)And Sam and Dean need to know the above (BMoL, Eileen, Hellhounds) so they can segue to Crowley... who could easily be segued to anyway, because Lucifer is in this ep, and having the Hellhounds under the BMoLs thus far serves no other purpose other than to be an obnoxious way to kill people. 

Just segue to him with a line, or nothing. They’ve done it before. 

Anyway, Eileen’s death is getting binned. That’s really the main change here.

Instead, I’m replacing it with Mary’s visit to what’s-’is-name and letting that sequence play out. He gets killed, ending with the slashy. (I’m gonna try not to change too much, just minor differences.) Sucks to be him, but this alternative establishes that Mary is killing hunters without killing anyone the audience is attached to. For anyone who has seen the previous ep, they can speculate why, otherwise, it’s a “what’s going on?” situation. Either way, it’s a lead in for the ep and the title.

Motel scene: 

Let this play out except replace Jody’s conversation about Eileen with Jody telling them about another hunter killed. Quite frankly, the reaction Sam and Dean had wouldn’t have to change much. I’m still peaved there wasn’t more of one (I mean, Sam tends to hold it in, and maybe he’ll explode later, but in the context of the ep.)

Yo show, nice direct ref to Charlie’s death in your “we killed Eileen scene, btw. Classy. *gags*

Morgue scene:

I can’t remember if Dean and Sam talk about Mary as a hunter with an unknown location in this scene or the above one, but we’re gonna say it’s at the end of this one. Otherwise it’s mostly the same, except Mary’s friend instead of Eileen. Again, their underwhelming (outward) response makes this easier. (I don’t need end of Starwars ep 3, I just need some sort of emotional anchor. This is the problem The Flash has.)

Mary’s room scene:

Mary has her flashbacks and wakes up with Toni. They have their conversation.

Luci’s upset he’s chained up.

Mary’s in chains, so is Luci. She’s being controlled, so is Luci. Eventually the controlled will control.. probably. I’m gonna go with that, because it’s more interesting than any other reason I can think of. Segue to Luci and Dr. Locks Demon talking about his imprisonment. Crowley comes in, yada yada. They have their little shot rev shot, talk about Dagon, talk about the Winchesters, talk about Cas. Crowley leaves, Luci wants out ASAP.

This is why other shows have cross-fades scene(seriously, how long were they in there?):

In the original scene, Dean and Sam get a letter from Eileen, in this, they’re getting a call from Jody instead. She says they found bugs in the house of the guy who died. She found bugs in her house too and is moving locations. They should check for them. They agree to call each other if something happens.

More evidence of Mary’s brainwashing scene:

 I don’t remember if this is in the original. But we’re gonna give Mary another instance of brainwashing, so the later instances makes more sense. Also, if it wasn’t there, it would pad out the run time lost by Dean not calling Crowley.

Choice of thematic resonance is questionable scene:

Why does this exist? Oh well, seems there’s no other way he’s getting out of there and parallels to Mary apparently? So contrived power reversal nonsense awa~aaa~ay. Luci’s getting out the chains soon... yay... 

Crowley working with the BMoLs scene:

Crowley and Umbridge have their scene. We learn the hellhounds come from him. (as long as they’re used later, it doesn’t matter if they’re introduced being utilized. They’re there, they are being utilized somewhere. That’s how the BMoLs work.) this scene serves a purpose of him working with the BMoLs. That’s really all we needed to know.

Umbridge is concerned with Ketch’s sex life scene:

Ketch and Umbridge talk awkwardly about Ketch’s sleeping habits and feelings. Segue to-

Acting credit where it’s due scene:

Ketch and Mary have their scene in the BMoL base. This plays out the same. I may not like this ep, but I’ll say David and Samantha did a good job with this scene.

Checking for bugs scene:

Dean and Sam check the bunker for bugs and find one. This scene plays out normally except they call Jody about it. See, isn’t it easy to include characters without having to keep the actors directly present (not bitter). Once you introduce a concept, stick to it. Jody tells them there was another mauling like some that had happened to other hunters. She’ll be in touch. 

Ketch tells an invisible dog to sit scene:

Ketch and Toni have their scene. With their repertoire of ridiculous devices, it probably wouldn’t surprise most people. I don’t think they’ve said in canon before this ep “only demons can control them” and even if they did, when has that stopped them?

The camera chooses the rat scene:

Luci escapes and plays out his over indulgent injury of Crowley. Then the camera says “rat, you are the chosen one” and Crowley “dies”. Luci quips about it.

Toni gets her lead in scene:

Umbridge, Toni and Ketch have their scene. 

The demons “clean up the mess” scene:

Rat rat rat rat

The “don’t remember this scene very well” scene:

Toni and the Winchesters meet. Something something, Toni is their hostage now.

Mary, Toni, The Winchesters and the BMoLs end up at the bunker (why the hell didn’t they leave? Oh well. We’re keeping this. Gotta end in the same place.) Ketch compares Mary with himself, killing Magda and the others. Sam is just as eager to climb the steps as Dean is, but for a different reason. Dean still tries to get through to Mary. Toni is still left with them. Dean tries to call Jody but his phone won’t reach her. He tries to leave her a message.

Same scene with Mary and Ketch, except it’s is J cut with the sounds of dogs barking, and a montage of the Hellhounds being sicced on hunters. Jody is not seen, but the question lingers.

The barking L cuts to Lucifer and fades out over the trees. Luci does his... hill thing.. same ending.

-----

Am I saying I’m a great writer? No. I just wanted a version without Eileen being killed. I can’t rewrite the whole thing, so this is the closest I can get to. Also, it’s 3 am and I can’t remember a good part of the back half of act 4, I don’t claim anything special.

Unfortunately, I could sum up a lot of this ep as “I was afraid of that” It really wasn’t a good idea to kill off Eileen, but I don’t know what happens behind the scenes. Maybe all the deaths really are part of the Cosmic Consequences and Mary ascending to heaven in the end will bring everyone back? But who knows. It really depends on the stance the TPTB have on what happened to Alicia and what will happen to the Nephilim, Mary and Cas.

There was some subtext in the ep, and there was some good, but nothing that what’s up there really changes. It does give more fuel to my theory of everything... which I swear I will post, but that will certainly be on its own.

Sorry this is the longest thing you’ve seen from me in a while. I promise the next one is more cheery.

Lando Calrissian Ponders a Very Important Baby Gift in This Excerpt From Star Wars Aftermath: Empire's End

One of the most significant events between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens is the birth of Han and Leia’s son Ben. In this exclusive excerpt from Empire’s End, the final installment in Chuck Wendig’s Star Wars: Aftermath trilogy, it turns out Lando’s been a bit too busy to pay much attention to his old friends or their babies.

The Aftermath novels have been chronicling the continued fall of the Empire and rise of the New Republic following the Emperor’s death. While they primarily follow a small group of rebels who hunt for missing Imperial officers (and occasionally Han Solo, when he goes missing), each book checks in with characters all over the galaxy; in Empire’s End, due out February 21, that includes Lando. In this excerpt, he recollects how he took back Cloud City, but also has the best idea for a baby gift in any galaxy.

First, here’s the official synopsis of the book:

EVERY END IS A NEW BEGINNING.

As the final showdown between the New Republic and the Empire draws near, all eyes turn to a once-isolated planet: Jakku.

The Battle of Endor shattered the Empire, scattering its remaining forces across the galaxy. But the months following the Rebellion’s victory have not been easy. The fledgling New Republic has suffered a devastating attack from the Imperial remnant, forcing the new democracy to escalate their hunt for the hidden enemy.

For her role in the deadly ambush, Grand Admiral Rae Sloane is the most wanted Imperial war criminal—and one-time rebel pilot Norra Wexley, back in service at Leia’s urgent request, is leading the hunt. But more than just loyalty to the New Republic drives Norra forward: Her husband was turned into a murderous pawn in Sloane’s assassination plot, and now she wants vengeance as much as justice.

But Sloane, too, is on a furious quest: pursuing the treacherous Gallius Rax to the barren planet Jakku. As the true mastermind behind the Empire’s devastating attack, Rax has led the Empire to its defining moment. The cunning strategist has gathered the powerful remnants of the Empire’s war machine, preparing to execute the late Emperor Palpatine’s final plan. As the Imperial fleet orbits Jakku, an armada of Republic fighters closes in to finish what began at Endor. Norra and her crew soar into the heart of an apocalyptic clash that will leave land and sky alike scorched. And the future of the galaxy will finally be decided.

And here’s the excerpt. We hope Lando actually got baby Ben the gift. Or maybe that’s what turned him to the Dark Side?

“Lobot, we’re home.” Lando lifts a dubious eyebrow as he looks around, exasperated. “Guess the Empire didn’t keep up with house­keeping.”

This is the Casino level. Game machines line the smooth blue alac­tite floors far as the eye can see. Sabacc tables, too. And pazaak. And jubilee wheels. Along the far wall are banks of holoprojectors meant to show the latest swoop race down on the track-tubes piped through Bespin’s toxic Red Zone atmosphere. Once, this was a shining pillar of gambling excess: classy and bright with light coming in through win­dows looking out over the sun-kissed clouds. Now it’s wrecked. Trash drifts and tumbles. Machines have been turned over, their credits cut from inside like food from a beast’s belly. The windows are covered over with metal. The holoprojectors are dark. Lobot steps up alongside Lando. The computer forming a half-moon around the back of the man’s bald head blinks and pulses, and at Lando’s wrist is a communication from his friend and cohort:

I’ll look into rehiring staff immediately.

“Do that,” Lando says. Then he thrusts up a finger. “Ah. But make sure we’re hiring some refugees, will you?” The galaxy’s like a cup that’s been knocked over, and now everything’s spilling out. Whole worlds have been displaced by the war. Lando can’t let Cloud City turn from being a city of luxury to being a tent city of expats and evacuees, but he can damn sure give those people jobs. That’s his fa­vorite kind of arrangement: the kind where everybody gets something for their trouble. They win. He wins. The ideal for how everything should work.

Cloud City was always that, for Calrissian. It was a respite—a ref­uge from the Empire while at the same time not existing to spite the Empire, either. He thought, Hey, everybody can be happy, baby. The Empire didn’t have to care. The rebels didn’t need to care. Cloud City could hang in the air above Bespin, separate from all the chaos, from all the strife. Come here, taste a little luxury. Meanwhile, he could mine the Tibanna gas, sell it to whatever starship manufacturer wanted it (the stuff was perfect for making hyperdrives, because with Tibanna, a little went a long way). Meanwhile, Lando could sit back, have a drink, roll some dice, find a lady or three.

Yeah. It didn’t work out that way.

He knows now: In a war like this one, you don’t get to be in the middle. You can’t play both sides. He’d lived his whole life shooting right down the middle, never taking up a cause except the one meant to support his own empty pockets. Those days are over and so is his love of sweet neutrality. When Vader came here, everything changed. He lost Han, for a time. He lost Lobot and Cloud City. He lost nearly everything.

But he gained a little perspective.

And he picked a damn side. Because sometimes, you want to win, you gotta bet big. You gotta put your stack of chits in one place.

It paid off. The Empire is gone. And now he’s a hero of the Rebel­lion (and oh, you can be sure he used that to con more than his fair share of free drinks, not to mention the attention of beautiful admir­ers). But all he wants is his city back. After Endor, he thought he would just be able to sweep in here like a handsome king retaking his throne in the sky—but then that son-of-a-slug Governor Adelhard formed the Iron Blockade. He kept the people here trapped not only by a well-organized Imperial remnant, but also by a grand lie: that Palpatine was not dead. And Lando knows that old shriveled cenobite is dead—because he’s the one who took out the Death Star’s reactor core. And because Luke said the monster was dead. Can you believe it? Palpatine and Vader. Both gone. Two scourges, scoured from the galaxy.

Suddenly he had a second war to fight. Here he thought the Empire was done for and Cloud City was once again his. What an eager fool. Nothing’s ever that simple, is it? It took months and months. He had to stage an uprising. Had to interface with Lobot on the inside. Had to cash in favors with a handful of scoundrels—like Kars Tal-Korla, that pirate. All because the New Republic wouldn’t commit a military ac­tion to retaking the city. He respects it, he understands it, and Leia put it best when she said, “The Rebellion was easy, Lando. Governing’s harder.” The chancellor was just trying to hold on to whatever advan­tage she had—and then with the Liberation Day attack on Chand­rila . . .

Well. All that is over and done. No need to dwell.

Cloud City is his once again. Lando starved out Adelhard. Most of the Imperials surrendered. It’s over. Thank the lucky stars.

He steps forward into the Casino level, and he and Lobot aren’t alone. He’s got a ragtag force with him: some of his Wing Guard secu­rity forces, but some New Republic soldiers, too. It’s just enough to perform cleanup on those who linger behind, clinging to the illusion they can still win this thing.

Together they march forward through the wreckage of the Casino level. He asks Lobot: “The holdouts are ahead?”

Yes. In the Bolo Tanga room.

“Fine, fine, let’s get this over with and evict our final tenants.”

As they walk, Lobot looks over at him as a new communication flashes across his wrist: I am told to remind you that the princess will soon give birth and you have not yet procured for them the standard natal gift.

“What? That’s impossible. She was just—I swear they just got married—didn’t I just get them a nuptial gift?”

It has been the proper biological time. You just do not realize how much time has passed. We have been busy.

“So have they, I guess.”

Also, you never got them a nuptial gift.

He sighs. “Okay, okay. Buying gifts for a kid. Can we get him a cute little cape and a mustache so he looks like old Uncle Lando?”

Lobot doesn’t respond, offering only a humorless stare.

“Fine, fine, I’ll think about it.” His mind drifts briefly to Han and Leia. Han, one of his oldest and greatest friends. And sure, one of his greatest rivals, too. He misses that old reprobate. The crazy times they had!

Good times even when they were bad. And now, Han is with Leia. Hoo, boy. Those two are a pair of rocket boosters firing full-bore. Lando just hopes those two engines are both firing in the same direction—because if they’re ever pointed at each other, they’ll burn each other up.

We’re here.

That, from Lobot. Ahead waits the door to the Bolo Tanga room. Lando can see it’s been sealed with mag-alloy. He turns to Captain Gladstone of the Wing Guard. “We got imaging?”

Gladstone nods. “They’re holed up in there. They’ve broken through to the beam outtake shaft, which in theory would lead them to the engineering sublayer—”

“But the fumes coming up through the shaft will kill them if they try.”

“That’s exactly it, Baron Administrator.”

“So they’re trapped.”

“Like crete-bugs in a beetle-bag.”

“All right, let’s open it up.”

From the book STAR WARS: AFTERMATH: EMPIRE’S END by Chuck Wendig. Copyright © 2017 by Lucasfilm Ltd. Reprinted by arrangement with Del Rey Books, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved.

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CW WAR 2020  Six-Person

OOC: Written by Jon Willis

Terra Skye: Well that was certainly an interesting interaction between Jack Michaels and Zephyr Quinn. Johnny Vegas: THAT BITCH! Terra Skye: Oh please. She’s entitled to her opinion - Just the same as everyone else. Boy: SEVENTY FROGS FOR SALE! Terra Skye: ...Anyway. We Are Relentless continues with what could be the penultimate chapter in the story of Matt Knox taking on the forces of Insidious. Johnny Vegas: Look at the big brain on Ms. Public University! What's that word even mean though? Terra Skye: It means "second to last", and you'd know that if cheap liquor hadn't already rotted what few brain cells you were born with in the first place. If Knox and his team are able to win this match, Matt Knox will finally have a one-on-one match with Sah'ta Thor, the man he hates more than any one person or any one thing in this world. Johnny Vegas: You know, I just don't get what Knox's issue with Insidious is. If you ask me, Thor's just misunderstood! Terra Skye: That's exactly what the leader of Insidious wants you to think. Thor's ability to control the narrative, gaslight, and bring out the worst in his followers is what makes Insidious such a dangerous force in Carnage Wrestling. They'll do anything for Thor, and they'll do whatever it takes to see his twisted vision of the future come to reality. I'm just glad that Adrienne Levi, Matt Knox, and Silvio Leon have stepped up to stop Insidious from consuming Carnage Wrestling like the cancer those not blinded by Thor's propaganda know it to be. Johnny Vegas: You know, you talk about Insidious as if they're a bunch of evil villains, but last time I checked, Nathaniel Grant- Terra Skye: I'm not going to debate you, Johnny. You're not worth it. Plus, the time for talk is over. Let's head ringside for the introductions for what will undoubtedly be a pivotal moment in the careers of all involved. Besides, you couldn’t stand Thor a few weeks ago and now you’re abdicating for him? Please, decide which side of the fence you wanna be on… Then maybe I can take you seriously. Johnny Vegas: Just because I don’t know a mans name, doesn’t mean I dislike him. BITCH! The siren song of Insidious, a mashup between "Broken Dreams" by Shaman's Harvest and "Burn it Down" by Linkin Park, plays all throughout the arena as Aaron Fredrick Hudson, Lu Chen "Kyuubi" Hudson, and Melificent "Poppy" Lasciel come out onto the entrance ramp, all wearing matching ring gear, all presenting a united front. After a few seconds of the three staring out into the crowd and soaking in the chorus of boos that greet them, they all make their way to the ring. Johnny Vegas: See, lookie here. They’re coming out as a unit. Terra Skye: As much as I hate to admit it, I have to wonder if the close bonds of Insidious give them an edge. Adrienne Levi and Silvio Leon seem to be good friends with Matt and all three of the talented wrestlers seem to mesh well with each other, but Levi and Leon are new recruits to this war, and Insidious are seasoned veterans. In a further show of union and solidarity, Insidious is introduced as a group. Kelly Carmichael: The following is a six-person tag team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 456 pounds... the team of Aaron Fredrick Hudson, Kyuubi, and Melificent Lasciel... they are... INSIDIOUS! The three members of Insidious all begin warming up in the ring and talking strategy with each other as they wait for their opponents. Soon enough, the melancholy bassline of “The Game” by TRAPT begins to ring throughout the arena when, all of a sudden, it appears as if the track starts to skip. The stage lights cut out completely for a moment as the fog that usually accompanies Matt Knox’s entrance continues to gather. After a moment the lights snap back on in a deep blue as the guitar of “Overcome” by Creed tears forth from the speakers. As the verse begins, Matthew steps out onto the stage to the cheers of the legion in attendance. He reaches up and removes the hood of the sleeveless hoodie he’s adorned in and raises his arms. Kelly Carmichael: And their opponents, introducing first from Monterey, California...weighing in at Two Hundred and Forty-Four pounds...Matthew “The Raven” Knox!!! He runs to either end of the stage, pumping the fans up. He pauses a moment to pay Johnny Vegas a two fingered salute, before returning to the middle of the stage and waiting, bouncing in place as he waits for Adrienne Levi and Silvio Leon to make their way from the back, eyes locked on Insidious as they await the three in the ring. Johnny Vegas: This fucker. Terra Skye: Sure, Matt Knox hasn’t been a model father, but I’m sorry - The guy seems like he’s trying and I gotta respect that. Johnny Vegas: It’s all a PLOY! The house lights are dimmed to near darkness as smoke gathers around the entrance at the top of the ramp. The opening guitar solo of "Superstition" by Kyle Primus echoes across the audience in the dim, with the Carnagetron showing flickering black-and-white images of a Ouija board planchette moving on its own slowly along the arc of letters printed across the board beneath it, raw crystals and tarot cards scattered around its borders. Just as the rest of the band kicks in to join the guitar, the entrance is bathed in beams of black light, Silvio walking through them, cast in their unnatural glow for a moment before the house lights flash back to life. Kelly Carmichael: From Seattle Washington, weighing in at 195 pounds, he is your Mystifying Oracle, Silvio Leon! He brings both hands up to eye level, palms out, fingertips touching to create a triangular planchette shape out of the negative space before throwing his arms down, with pyro firing off to either side of him. Johnny Vegas: FREAK! Terra Skye: I’d love it if he’d teleport you to another dimension. Johnny Vegas: I’d love it if you’d shut the fuck up but I guess neither of us are getting what we want. He stands at the entrance with Matt, waiting for Adrienne to come out. As she does, Matt and Silvio stand to either side of her, flexing and leaning over slightly at the waist, framing her between them for a moment before starting down the ramp to the ring. Silvio interacts heavily with whatever audience may be present - winks, finger guns, high-fives, exaggerated, wounded reactions to anyone who might boo their trio that dissolve into laughter. Silvio joins Knox on the ramp, giving him a casual fist bump as they both await their partner. The house lights dim as Waterproof Blonde’s lead singer Rachel Hagen declared, “Inside me a light was turned on, then I was alive!!” Right at that instant, the lights flashed back on in a purple hue as "Just Close Your Eyes" went into its electric chorus. Adrienne Levi makes her entrance adorned in a long-sleeved purple top, purple and black tights stylized with her logo, and a pair of shiny new black and purple boots. Kelly Carmichael: Finally, hailing from Clearwater, Florida, weighing in 135 pounds, this is Adrienne Levi! Johnny Vegas: LOOOOSERRRRRR!!! Terra Skye: Oh my God… Adrienne Levi is one of the most promising up and comers that this promotion has seen in a long time! Boy: BUY MY FANGS! Smiling at the announcement, Adrienne scanned the crowd before making her way down to the ring. Bumping fists with any fans in the ringside area, eventually she joined Matt Knox and Silvio Leon in the middle of the ramp. The three competitors look at each other, nod, and dash the rest of the way down the entrance ramp, sliding into the ring, all three immediately locking eyes with their opponents. For a few tense seconds it looks like all six competitors are about to start an all-out melee in the ring, but Silvio and Levi both put their hands on Matt's shoulders and lead him back to their corner. The two teams spend the final few seconds before the match deciding who will compete first, and it ends up being AFH and Knox sharing a ring together as Boy rings the bell. Boy: WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN?! DING DING!! Boy emphatically rings the bell, shattering it in two, and a nearby ringside assistant calmly takes it away and replaces it with another one, pulling from a small box seemingly filled with nothing but timekeeper's bells since apparently Boy tends to forget how strong he is. AFH and Knox meet in the center of the ring, and AFH smirks and begins talking to Knox. Knox doesn't say a word... he just nails AFH straight in the jaw! AFH staggers back, and Knox lands a liver kick! AFH continues retreating, stumbling backwards, and Knox catches him with an elbow to the side of his face! Johnny Vegas: Oh, Booooo. Terra Skye: What did you expect exactly? Johnny Vegas: I don’t really know. AFH loses his balance, going to his knees momentarily before getting up and retreating to the ropes! Knox pulls himself forward by grabbing onto AFH's jeans as AFH retreats, landing a clubbing blow to the back of AFH's neck! AFH ducks under the middle rope and extends his body to where he's half-in and half-out of the ring, doing his best to dodge Knox's fists, but Knox continues attacking! Knox didn't say a word to AFH to begin the match, but he's now screaming and shouting as he continues to hit AFH with shot after shot after shot! Johnny Vegas: Somebody get that maniac back in his corner! Do your damn job ref! The referee does indeed step in to force a rope break, and Matthew Knox comes dangerously close to disqualifying himself by shoving the referee out of the way. The referee stumbles into the ropes and attempts to regain his balance, his back turned to the competitors in the ring, as Knox's tag partners begin shouting at him to calm down. With Matt in a blind rage and risking instant disqualification every passing second, Adrienne Levi attempts to enter the ring to pull Knox off AFH, but the referee immediately warns her away as he's getting back to his feet. Terra Skye: Oh come on, she’s trying to get him to calm down so he doesn’t disqualify their team and all this ends up being for nothing. Johnny Vegas: Hell it might all be for nothing anyway. You don’t know. Terra Skye: You’re right. I don’t. With the ref's back still turned, AFH nails a low blow on Matt Knox! With Knox continuing to fire bombs at AFH, the Insidious member drops to his knees and lands an uppercut right up into Matt Knox's most private area! The referee turns around to warn Matt Knox that if he tries anything like that again he'll be instantly disqualified, but his look of stern admonishment turns to confusion as Knox writhes in pain on all fours! Terra Skye: There! There are your heroes, Johnny! That's Insidious! Johnny Vegas: Matt Knox was attacking him like a mad dog! He was ignoring the rules of the match! He shoved a referee! Matt Knox should be disqualified! This whole match should be thrown out! Matthew Knox got exactly what he deserved for his blatant and flagrant disregard of the rules of this match! Boy: ON FRIDAY NIGHT A COMEDIAN DIED IN NEW YORK! Terra Skye: BULLSHIT! AFH hauls up the wounded Matt Knox and shoves him into a corner of the ring, where he begins landing hard spears to Matt Knox's gut. After three consecutive spears, Matt Knox goes down, his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle, and AFH begins stomping a mudhole in his opponent. The referee warns AFH to stop and then quickly begins a five-count, but AFH pauses at four and a half and cockily grins to the audience, who boo mightily. He then heads over to his corner of the ring and tags in his wife, Kyuubi, and the two execute some double-team offense. AFH pushes his wife into the ropes, then whips her forward hard with an Irish Whip, and the added momentum adds extra impact, as Kyuubi launches herself towards the still-prone Matt Knox and catches him with a Missile Dropkick right into the corner! Kyuubi drags Knox to the center of the ring and goes for the first pinfall of the match! ONE! TWO!!! And Matt Knox defiantly kicks out at two! Both competitors get up, and Matt Knox begins showing signs of a second wind! Kyuubi attempts a kick to the gut, but Matthew catches it, only for Kyuubi to counter with an Enzugiri! Knox is sent stumbling into the ropes, and Kyuubi quickly closes the distance, sending Knox across the ring with an Irish Whip! On his return, Knox manages to duck under a Yakuza Kick, and when Kyuubi turns around, Knox blasts her with a superkick! Knox scrambles over to his corner of the ring and tags in Adrienne Levi! Levi heads to the top rope and waits for Kyuubi to turn around! When she does, Levi goes sailing, catching Kyuubi with a Top Rope Crossbody! Adrienne rolls with the impact and gets back up to her feet as the fans cheer! Terra Skye: Adrienne has a lot to prove in this match and she's giving it her all! Johnny Vegas: She's out of her league! One wrong move and Insidious will send her back to reality right on her ass! Boy: THE DUSK REEKS OF FORNICATION AND BAD CONSCIENCES! Levi eyes up Kyuubi and plans her next move. Kyuubi manages to get up on her knees and elbows, and Levi runs at her, floats over her, grabs her up, and catches her in a Schoolboy Roll Up! The referee begins counting the pin! ONE! TWO!! And Melificent Lasciel breaks up the pin with a big boot to Adrienne Levi! Levi gets up holding her jaw as Matt Knox enters the ring and immediately begins running for Lasciel! But Adrienne Levi ends up holding him back! Levi is making sure Knox doesn't do anything else that might get the match thrown out! Knox eyes the Insidious corner angrily and goes back behind the ropes, but when Levi turns around, she's blasted with a Superkick by Kyuubi! Too late, Matt Knox curses and realizes the error of his ways, and pounds the turnbuckle pads to try and raise some support for Levi. The fans cheer and begin clapping in unison, but it's all for naught as Levi is dragged over to the Insidious corner. Kyuubi tags in Lasciel, and together the two execute a devastating Powerbomb/Double Knee Backbreaker combo! Johnny Vegas: See? And now he just costed his team! Terra Skye: I’ll admit, he’s gotta keep himself in check because this did hurt their team, but Adrienne is a tough competitor. She did just beat Insidious’ leader at Chaos 96. Johnny Vegas: Didn’t happen. Terra Skye: Are you serious? Johnny Vegas: I said I do not recall. Therefore it didn’t happen. Levi rolls around in pain clutching her back as Poppy walks around her, rubbing her eyes and pretending to cry, mocking Levi! When Levi tries to grab hold of Lasciel, Lasciel angrily swats her arm away and drops a stiff knee right to Levi's prone body, catching her right in the stomach. Lasciel drags Levi to her feet and sends her right back down, pulling Levi down by her hair into a backbreaker! The referee admonishes Lasciel for the hair pull but Lasciel shrugs and smiles. Lasciel stalks Levi as Levi gets to her feet. When Levi turns around, Lasciel attempts a Springboard Moonsault, but Levi ducks and Lasciel goes sailing past her, landing hard on her stomach! Levi runs at Lasciel and lands a Double Foot Stomp to her back, using her opponent as a springboard, springing forward and tagging in Silvio Leon! Terra Skye: She got the tag! Silvio Leon is about to take it to Insidious! Johnny Vegas: And what the hell is he doing? Boy: ALL WE EVER SEE OF STARS ARE THEIR OLD PHOTOGRAPHS! Silvio Leon springboards into the ring over the top rope, but he doesn't immediately go after his downed opponent. Instead, Leon waits for Lasciel to get up, then begins pointing towards AFH and motioning him forward. Lasciel looks confused, but AFH nods, and Lasciel goes over to the Insidious corner and tags in AFH. Leon nods, goes to the center of the ring, and motions AFH forward. Leon begins bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet as he continues to motion to AFH, urging him to come closer. AFH looks confused, but then smirks and shrugs, and attempts to hit Leon with a big haymaker! Leon sidesteps and keeps bouncing left and right, circling AFH! AFH locks his jaw in frustration and begins letting his fists fly, but Leon keeps dodging! Every time AFH goes to throw a shot, the next second, Leon simply isn't there! Terra Skye: And what do you think of this? Johnny Vegas: I think it’s horseshit. AFH attempts a right cross, but Leon ducks under, then AFH attempts a left uppercut, but Leon dodges to the side! AFH rushes forward in frustration with a Clothesline but Leon leans backwards Matrix-style and AFH nearly falls over his own two feet as Leon arches his body back up, turns towards AFH, and begins shouting at him! Leon backs up into a corner of the ring and motions AFH forward! And the Insidious member takes the bait! AFH rushes forward and begins assaulting Leon, but Leon uses the rope-a-dope defense! Almost every ounce of force generated by AFH's punches gets absorbed by the ring ropes and turnbuckles, rather than being absorbed by Leon's face or body! Johnny Vegas: Stand still and take it like a man you tarot reading tattooed freak! Terra Skye: He's embarrassing Aaron Fredrick Hudson and wearing him out all at the same time! Hudson is gassing himself out because he can't handle anyone daring to disrespect him! Boy: I'M JUST A PUPPET WHO CAN SEE THE STRINGS! And just like always, Terra Skye calls it correctly! The second Leon senses AFH's punches beginning to slow, he makes his move! He ducks under AFH, and when AFH turns, Leon blasts him with a Spinning Heel Kick! AFH is shoved back into the turnbuckles from the force of the blow, and Leon continues the offensive onslaught, bouncing up onto the second rope, twisting, turning, and hitting AFH with a Jumping Springboard Enzugiri! The fans cheer as AFH stumbles forward and falls flat on his face! Leon turns him around onto his back, points to the top rope, and signals for The Color Out of Space! Leon goes to the apron and begins climbing the turnbuckles! Terra Skye: Smart thinking from Leon - And now he’s going to put Hudson in a world of-- But Kyuubi gets into the ring and begins pointing and yelling at Leon! The referee and Leon himself are distracted by Kyuubi, which was exactly what she wanted, because while all of this was going on, Melificent Lasciel had jumped down from Insidious' corner and was running outside the ring over to the neutral corner Silvio was in! Before Silvio has time to realize what is happening, Lasciel jumps up onto the apron and shoves him off the top rope as hard as she can! Silvio goes flying into the air and lands hard chest-first on the guardrail! Johnny Vegas: BAHAHAHAH! Terra Skye: Oh my god, that was a terrible fall… Jesus Christ! The fans boo as Matt Knox hops down to check on his partner! And Adrienne Levi storms across the ring apron and launches herself at Melificent Lasciel! Levi launches herself like an arrow through the ropes, catching Lasciel with a spear, sending both women down hard on the outside! The referee turns at the sound of the impact, and Kyuubi capitalizes by jumping onto the top rope and executing a Flipping Senton onto both Matt Knox and Silvio Leon on the outside! Johnny Vegas: All hell's broken loose! Terra Skye: The referee needs to regain control of this match! Boy: IT CAME TRUE! YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT! AFH gets up dazed and confused, looking around the ring and finding his wife, Melificent Lasciel, and all three of his opponents all down outside the ring. AFH smirks as the referee begins restoring order. He first separates Lasciel and Levi, then orders Kyuubi back to her corner, and finally, he checks on Leon and Knox, but only for a moment, as AFH rudely hauls up Silvio Leon and shoves him into the ring. AFH kneels down over Leon, grabs him by the back of the head, and starts hammering Leon with hard shots to the face! Johnny Vegas: GET IT! The crowd boos loudly as the hard camera picks up AFH shouting "DODGE THIS" with every blow that comes crashing down onto Leon's head! Leon's eyebrow is split open and he begins bleeding! Like a shark smelling blood, AFH begins elbowing Leon right on the cut, causing it to open up wide! Leon begins bleeding hard! AFH sticks his hand in Leon's face and then covers his shirt with Leon's blood! He holds up the barely conscious Leon by the back of the head and points to Matt Knox! AFH begins shouting at Knox and pointing to Leon's bloodied face, shaking Leon by the back of the neck for added emphasis! Terra Skye: That sadistic son of a bitch! He's enjoying this! Those are your heroes, Johnny! Johnny Vegas: Well, uh... That's what Silvio Leon gets! Yeah! That's what Leon gets for making a fool out of Insidious! I never said they were nice guys! I just said they were misunderstood. Terra Skye: How do you misunderstand beating a man to a bloody pulp?! Boy: WE DO NOT DO THIS THING BECAUSE IT IS PERMITTED! WE DO IT BECAUSE WE HAVE TO! Matt Knox begins shouting and cursing at AFH, but knowing that Insidious has been preying on his brash actions all match, and with Adrienne Levi attempting to calm him down, Matt ultimately looks at the bleeding Leon with a sad look on his face and doesn't get into the ring. AFH grins, laughs, and drags Leon over to the Insidious corner before tagging in his wife. AFH spends a few seconds still inside the ring, propping up Leon in the Insidious corner. Kyuubi measures her opponent, nods, then hits Leon with a spinning backfist right to his cut! Leon goes down hard, and Kyuubi dashes away to a neutral corner on the opposite side of the ring. Kyuubi then runs with a full head of steam directly into Leon, catching him with a thunderous Yakuza Kick as he lays with his head against the bottom turnbuckle! The fans boo as Kyuubi drags Leon to the center of the ring and pins him! ONE!!! TWO!!!!!! And Leon kicks out! The boos turn to raucous cheers as Leon kicks out! Kyuubi looks around confused before tagging in Melificent Lasciel. Lasciel and Kyuubi execute some tandem offense, with Kyuubi executing a Sidewalk Slam on Silvio Leon while Lasciel catches him with an Inverted Reverse DDT. Lasciel drags Leon to the center of the ring, runs to the ropes, and nails Leon with a spectacular Springboard Moonsault! She immediately goes for the pin! ONE!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! ANOTHER KICKOUT! Johnny Vegas: He's too stupid to know when to stay down! Terra Skye: He's displaying the heart of a warrior and the will of a champion! He knows how much this match means to everyone involved and he won't go down without the fight of his life! Boy: NOTHING ENDS, ADRIAN! NOTHING EVER ENDS! Lasciel pounds the mat angrily and argues with the referee. She hauls the still-bleeding Leon up to his feet, traps his arms, and attempts her "15 Seconds of Fame" finisher... but Leon reverses! Leon backdrops Lasciel and begins heading towards his team's corner! Levi and Knox extend their hands as far as they can, but Lasciel literally dives on top of Leon to stop him from getting to his teammates! She drags Leon back to the center of the ring by his left ankle, but Leon twists, goes onto his back, and kicks Lasciel hard with both feet! Lasciel is sent into the ropes, and when she rebounds, Leon grabs her up in a Small Package and goes for the win! ONE!!! TWO!!!!! But Lasciel kicks out! Leon rolls away as Lasciel kicks out and springs back up to her feet embarrassed, and in her rush to close the distance to Leon, Melificent Lasciel leaves herself open! Leon nails her with a Spinning Heel Kick! She gets right back up and walks right into a back elbow! Leon whips Lasciel across the ring, but Lasciel reverses! When Lasciel attempts to catch Leon on the rebound with a Sidewalk Slam, Leon reverses it into the Miskatonic Twist! Lasciel's head snaps forward violently, and half-dazed she moves on her hands and knees to tag in AFH! But while she was doing so, Leon managed to leap to his corner of the ring and finally tags out! Matt Knox and AFH enter the ring at the same time! Johnny Vegas: Oh shit! Here we go! Matt Knox is taking no prisoners! He nails AFH with a Clothesline, sending him down to the mat! He Yakuza Kicks Kyuubi while she's on the apron, sending her flying to the outside! Lasciel begins talking trash to Matt and Matt picks her up and brings her into the ring with a Belly to Belly Suplex! Matt Knox runs the ropes, and when Lasciel and AFH get back up at the same time, he nails both of them with a spear, ramming his left shoulder into Lasciel and his right into AFH! The crowd comes alive as Matt lets out his full fury and begins a rapid-fire barrage of punches, kicks, elbows, knees, and stomps to both Melificent Lasciel and Aaron Frederick Hudson! The referee pulls Knox off of the two Insidious members, and Knox holds his hands up to placate the ref, nodding in understanding... right before he jumps up and over the referee, sprinboarding off the top rope and sailing to the outside of the ring, nailing a Diving Crossbody on Kyuubi! Johnny Vegas: Somebody put that wild animal back into its cage! Terra Skye: Knox is letting it all out! So much anger and hatred! Insidious is finally finding out just who they're dealing with! Boy: I DID IT THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES AGO! Lasciel rolls out of the ring right as Knox rolls back in, stalking AFH. When AFH gets back up, Matt Knox puts him in position for The Murder, and he hits it! AFH's spine is compressed with the force of Matt Knox's Vertebreaker signature move, but Knox doesn't go for the pin! He's not done getting his revenge! Seething with anger and rage, Knox picks up AFH and puts him into position for The Downfall! His hatred all-consuming, Knox lifts AFH with all of his strength, hitting his finisher... and incapacitating the referee! Knox lifted and threw AFH with such force that he accidentally sent his opponent into the referee, who must have assumed he was far away enough from the action to not get hit! But Knox's rage lent him inhuman strength! Knox barely has a second to realize that the referee is down before the other two members of Insidious rush the ring and begin assaulting him! Terra Skye: Oh my God… This isn’t good. Johnny Vegas: No, this is GREAT! And Adrienne Levi comes flying into the fray! Adrienne Levi and Matt Knox are holding their own against Kyuubi and Melificent Lasciel! Matt Knox hits Lasciel with a Hurricanrana, and Adrienne Levi hits her own Hurricanrana on Kyuubi! All three members of Insidious are down and out in the middle of the ring, and Silvio Leon motions to his partners to get them up! As Knox and Levi bring Insidious to their feet, Leon ascends to the top rope! Leon throws himself into all three members of Insidious with a Diving Crossbody! But he's caught! Insidious catches Leon and toss him at Knox and Levi! But Leon is caught again! Knox and Levi catch their tag team partner and then sprint forward, using Leon as a battering ram to take out all three members of Insidious! Terra Skye: Holy shit! Johnny Vegas: Throwing that asshole around like a fucking ragdoll… Ridiculous. And the hits just keep coming! Melificent Lasciel manages to roll out of the ring to try and catch her breath, but Matt Knox and Silvio Leon signal to Adrienne Levi! Knox and Leon head close to the ropes, cross their arms, and grab each other's wrists, forming an "X" symbol, and Levi nods in understanding! Levi runs the ropes on the opposite side of where her teammates are, and as she barrels towards them, running as fast as she can, she jumps up and onto that "X", using her teammates as a launching pad, and Adrienne Levi launches herself up and over the top rope to the outside, catching Melificent Lasciel with her finisher, a Tornado DDT! Terra Skye: THE LEVITY! Adrienne Levi just debuted her new finisher in spectacular fashion! Johnny Vegas: She can call her new finisher whatever she likes, but what we really need to do is call an ambulance for Melificent Lasciel! Boy: THIS RUDDERLESS WORLD IS NOT SHAPED BY VAGUE METAPHYSICAL FORCES! With the referee just barely beginning to come back to life, Knox and Leon prepare to bring the match to a close! Matt Knox hauls up Kyuubi, puts her into position, and nails her with The Murder! He rolls her into the center of the ring, and Silvio Leon ascends to the top rope and finishes Kyuubi off with The Color Out of Space! Leon lands hard, and just barely manages to drag Kyuubi out of the ring before collapsing on the outside, completely drained and still bleeding badly! Knox hauls Aaron Frederick Hudson up to his feet, sets him up for his finisher... and hits it again, this time holding on! Knox nails AFH with The Downfall and hangs on, turning his finisher into a pinning predicament! The referee begins counting the fall! ONE!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!! Hudson kicks out! Aaron Frederick Hudson kicks out of Matt Knox's finisher! Knox gets up shocked, unbelieving, and he goes over to the referee, who is just barely getting back up to his feet. The referee isn't sure who knocked him out, or how, or why, or whose fault it was, but he's sure that AFH kicked out, so the match continues! Knox nods in understanding, and hauls Hudson up, shoving him into a corner of the ring. Knox uses his fading strength to haul Hudson up in a Back Suplex position and places him ass-first on top of the top turnbuckle, facing away from the ring. Knox follows AFH up the ropes and locks him up in a Cobra Clutch position! Terra Skye: Oh my god, Knox is going to attempt The Downfall from the top rope! Johnny Vegas: He'll break Hudson's neck! He'll break his own damn neck! Somebody stop this! Or… Eh. Maybe don’t. That somebody ends up being Hudson himself! Knowing what's coming, Hudson experiences a last-ditch surge of adrenaline, and whips his head backwards, headbutting Knox with the back of his skull, catching Knox on the bridge of the nose! Knox comes dangerously close to losing his balance, but keeps the hold applied! So Hudson does it again! Knox begins bleeding from his nose! It might be broken! But Knox keeps the hold applied! Knox screams defiantly at Hudson, blood running into his mouth, as he sends them both flying off the top turnbuckle... and Hudson reverses it! Hudson reverses Matt Knox's finisher into his own! In mid-air, sailing halfway across the ring, Aaron Frederick Hudson reverses Matt Knox's Downfall finisher into his own finisher, the Sliced Bread #2 that he calls Going for Broke! Johnny Vegas: HOLY FUCK THEY'RE BOTH DEAD! Hudson crawls weakly on top of Matt Knox and goes for the pin! ONE!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! KICKOUT!!!!! MATT KNOX KICKS OUT! Johnny Vegas: What the hell is keeping him going? I don't know! Terra Skye: Matt Knox refuses to lose! He'll either be the death of Insidious or Insidious will be the death of him! There's no other way! He hates them just that much! This means just that much to him! Boy: DRY YOUR EYES, FOR YOU ARE LIFE, RARER THAN A QUARK AND UNPREDICTABLE BEYOND DREAMS OF HEISENBERG! THE CLAY IN WHICH THE FORCES THAT SHAPE ALL THINGS LEAVE THEIR FINGERPRINTS MOST CLEARLY! AFH and Knox weakly crawl away from each other, both completely spent and drained, towards their respective corners. Knox scans around and sees Silvio Leon still down and out, still bleeding, barely showing any signs of life at all. After slowly making her way back to her team's corner from the exact opposite side of the ring, Adrienne Levi weakly hauls herself back up onto the apron and reaches out a hand. Knox collapses into his corner and tags Adrienne in, and Adrienne gets into the ring slowly, limping. Terra Skye: Damn, this match has really taken a toll on it’s competitors. AFH finds no solace in his corner. He spots his wife, Kyuubi, still down and out from Silvio Leon's "Color Out of Space" finisher. He sees his other partner, Melificent Lasciel, still down and out from Adrienne Levi's "Levity" finisher. He hauls himself up to one knee, turns slightly, and sees Adrienne Levi enter the ring. He nods, and using the ropes, brings himself up to a standing position. The crowd rises to their feet, not a single ass in a single seat, as the two Carnage stars lock eyes and begin circling each other. Johnny Vegas: Fuck… Her… up. Levi and AFH meet in the center of the ring and begin trading shots, with the fans chanting "YAY!" when Levi hits AFH and "BOO!" when AFH hits Levi. AFH ends up winning the exchange, forcing Levi to back up, and AFH charges in with a roundhouse kick... and it's ducked! Levi attempts a Jumping Knee Lift strike... but AFH jumps up as well, vaulting off Levi's outstretched knee and hitting her with a Shining Wizard! Levi is flipped end-over-end and crashes to the mat! AFH draws his thumb across his throat to signal that the end is near! Johnny Vegas: Oh shit! Terra Skye: Could this be it? Aaron Frederick Hudson hauls up Adrienne Levi and begins the assault he calls "The Fate's Edge"! He blasts Levi with a punch to the jaw, a kick to the thighs, a punch to the liver, a kick to the gut, a punch to the temple, and finally, a kick right to the head! Levi falls forward, collapsing from the assault, and falls right into AFH's arms! AFH picks her up for an Emerald Frosion, spinning her around... and Levi keeps spinning! Levi reverses AFH's Emerald Frosion into a Tornado DDT! Levi hits Levity on AFH! Levi uses the last of her strength to scramble on top of him and go for the win, with the other two members of Insidious still down and out on the outside! ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DING DING DING!! The bell rings, the fans cheer, and Kelly Carmichael makes it official! Kelly Carmichael: Here are your winners... the team of ADRIENNE LEVI, SILVIO "THE ORACLE" LEON, AND MATTHEW "THE RAVEN" KNOX!!! Terra Skye: It's over! It's over! It's over! Levi wins it! Matt Knox will finally get his showdown with Sah'Ta Thor! Johnny Vegas: Fine! Fine! You can call it a victory if you want, but I call it Levi signing Matt Knox's death warrant! Knox will have hell to pay and that's exactly where Sah'Ta Thor will be sending him when they finally meet one-on-one in the ring!

Hi y’all! 

I know I said that the new bread experiments would be coming soon, but life caught up with me, and I’ve been a bit delayed. Thanks for being patient!

Anyway, you’ll recognize Kiwi in the above picture -- Kiwi is doing well, and behaving nicely. You can see how many bubbles there are on the surface, and they are about the same all the way through. Lots of bubbles means the sourdough yeast is happy. 

The first experiment/recipe I am going to talk about is the sourdough buns recipe. It’s one that I like a lot, and make all the time. I originally got it from butterforall.com (http://www.butterforall.com/traditional-cooking-traditional-living/soft-chewy-sourdough-burger-buns/) who has a lovely, easy to follow recipe with nice follow-along photos. 

Anyway, the first step would to be combine all the ingredients in a large bowl. In the above photo, all the dry ingredients are all in the bowl, without Kiwi (the starter). I usually mix the ingredients by hand. Meaning -- without a stand mixer, and usually literally using my hands. I don’t have a stand mixer, so that’s out of the questions, but if I don’t feel like getting my hands dirty, I use my mom’s dough-mixing tool. It’s a pretty sweet thing to have if you’re into bread baking or really any kind of baking. 

https://www.amazon.com/Blender-Admixer-Dessert-Kitchenware-Stainless/dp/B06ZYLPDYV/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1531598734&sr=8-6&keywords=dough+hand+mixer

Using it doesn’t count as kneading the dough, but it’s super useful for mixing dry and wet ingredients together, and it’s super easy to clean by hand. 

After I mix and knead all the ingredients, I put a kitchen towel over the bowl, and leave it on the kitchen counter to rise overnight. Personally, I love kneading bread. It’s therapeutic in it’s own way. As you knead (and you gotta do this by hand), you can see the dough gathering together and gaining a shape. By the time you are done kneading, you should be able to (gently!!) poke the dough and have your finger come away clean. 

The next morning, you get this lovely dough. You can see the popped bubbles on the surface. At this point, the dough is still pretty sticky -- that’s ok! After we gather it together and knead it again, it wont be sticky anymore. 

At this point, it’s nice to have a pastry scraper and some loose flour on the counter. You gather up the dough in your hands, and plop it onto the flour, then kind of shape the dough into a log shape, without squeezing it too much. Then use the pastry scraper to cut the log into about 8 pieces. 

Each of these pieces will become a bun -- you gotta knead each piece, and turn it from a sticky bit of dough into a nice, tight bun. butterforall.com has a nice explanation and pictures for this part. At the end, you should get something like this:

They are pretty small in this picture, but you then let the buns rise for 3-6 hours, depending on how warm your kitchen is, and they expand to about twice their size. 

The yellow stuff you can see under the buns is cornmeal. Personally, I love cornmeal for de-sticking bread from whatever container it was baked in. It’s not greasy like butter is, it’s shelf-stable, so it doesn’t take up space in the fridge, and it gives a nice crunch to the bottom of the bread that doesn’t get as browned as the top. Plus, it’s pretty cheap. 

After the buns rise again, it’s time to put them into the oven. 

I didn’t get a picture of them in the oven, so here they are, out of the oven. 

I tend to bake them in a cast-iron pan. It’s nice because the pan stores the heat of the oven, and gives the buns a more thorough bake all the way through than if you were to use a glass baking dish or a cookie sheet or so on. Of course, you can use any of those baking vessels, along with a dutch oven, an oven-proof pot, or any other vaguely flat, oven-safe surface. Depending on the surface you might want to bake the buns for a longer time. 

Using a dutch oven is especially interesting because you can leave the lid on for the first half of the baking time which gives the bread a moister texture on the inside, while still being baked all the way through. You should take the lid off for the second half though to give the buns a nice crisp top. 

All in all, this is a nice weekend recipe. I like to start it Friday night, since there isn’t much to do in the first step, and then the buns will be ready for dinner on Saturday. They keep pretty well for home-made bread, especially if you put them in an air-tight container, they’ll keep for about 5 days. They are good for  burgers, sandwiches, or with a bit of butter and jam. 

Keep on the lookout for my recipe for sourdough raisin cinnamon bread!

kisses, 

Kissnknits