#gotta clear those out
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Oh also having emduo brainrot again
I was thinking about the dynamic between emperor Phil and just the feral piglin kid he found off in the woods or the nether somewhere.
Rambles below cut!
Maybe something like a kidnapping where some idiots tried to take Phil and he ended up lost and had to trek back to society so he could get picked up again.
On the way he goes through the nether and just sees an absolutely feral child / teen (havent decided yet) who probably doesnt even speak the same language.
There'd probably be a while where Phil is cautious of him and Techno is considering his chances on attacking him. Probably wants to rob Phil for his gold and maybe eat him after. Usual teen things.
At some point he probably does something that makes Phil brood. Maybe him just being a bit pathetic or getting hurt and very hesitantly reaching out for help from Phil. Obviously thats when he decides that Techno is in fact his baby now and starts to take him home.
Somewhere along the way theyd develop some form of communication. Probably just a couple of basic words they understand (yes, no, danger, hungry etc) and build off of that as a base.
Honestly I think theyd be pretty rough with each other. Techno is an unruly teenager / preteen and Phil is a mean emperor with little patience. Its not like they can talk through their feelings so they just have to be physical about it.
Techno wouldnt understand Phil calmly explaining why he cant maul a deer and dump it on his bed but he would understand Phil shaking his scruff and saying 'no ' and 'off' while pointing to the corpse on the bed.
Same goes for Phil. This man doesnt speak a word of piglin so the only real way that Techno can communicate a want for attention is by a) mauling a guard and making a mess in the hallway or b) tracking Phil down and just laying on him until he gets the message.
Combine this with the fact that Phil would absolutely enable Techno's violent tendencies its just a very fun mix. Tech probably only respects Phil as an authority figure (after fighting for it ofc) and simply ignores anyone else trying to tell him what to do.
Just imagine being one of the palace guards for a moment. The emperor goes missing for like 2 weeks and comes back with a random fucking teen who doesnt communicate outside basic words. Ok. Fine. Phils always been eccentric this can be chill.
The teen then just starts to maul your coworkers, brawl the emperor just in the halls unprompted and can only really be scolded by the man just holding him down and saying 'no' until it clicks.
The way that I'd just be so mad.
Anyway I think I just like the language and instinct barrier dynamic a lot. Like they both agree that they’re family and that they’d kill for each other but they can barely actually communicate with each other.
Technoblade probably isn’t even Techno’s name, Phil probably just butchered pronouncing his actual name and the boy decided “fuck it, close enough” and started responding to it.
It’s also funny to think that Techno doesn’t have a full understanding of royalty or that kind of dynamic so he’s just baffled on why everyone lets Phil be an asshole towards them.
Just a silly guy who’d think that every blonde is somehow related to Phil because they share the same ‘fur colour’.
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Star Flower, loner, Medic of SkyClan
She/Her, cis bisexual
Mother: Turnip
Father: One Eye
Adoptive Father: Skystar
Siblings: Unnamed, all deceased.
Design notes:
-She is styled after the Pokemon, Ogerpon
-The plants are a physical part of her body. They grow out of her.
-She is the physical embodiment of The Blazing Star.
Story notes: [Abuse CW]
-She was born as a normal kitten to a traveling band of rogues who loved to trade and spread their music. Unfortunately, this band died out to a plague, one that nearly took her own life. Desperate to save his family, her father Carrot traveled to a set of tunnels in Sanctuary Lake rumored to house a reality-bending god. He asked the god for a cure, and the god asked for his eye in return. They made the exchange, and he retrieved a glowing, golden, five pointed flower. However, he was too late to save most of his family, so the entire cure went to his surviving kit. He wasn't expecting her to survive the night given her fragile state and the dubiousness of the exchange...
-But the next morning, she was perfectly fine- great, even. If a little... odd... were those buds growing on her paws...?
-It only got stranger from there. When Carrot ended up finding more cats suffering from the plague, just a few calming purrs from his kit seemed to have them ripe and ready to go the next morning. Carrot understood then what had happened- his kit had become the cure herself. And cats were starting to look towards them more, started begging for her healing, for anything. And Carrot had lost everything... wasn't it time to start winning stuff back?
-And so, the pair became One Eye and Star Flower, for recognition's sake. The two formed their own small group, filled with cats Star Flower had healed. Star Flower loved to spread her magic where she went, to save cats from the brink of death and be showered with their love and appreciation. They felt like they owed a great debt to her, and she enjoyed that.
-She was very close with her father, even if their relationship could be strained. One Eye loved her, but to an extent, he also used her. He grew arrogant in his success, believing he had become the accomplice to a god, and began to hold that over cats who fell sick. He grew desperate for control and Star Flower was his key to that.
-One day, however, her father's group encountered the early clans. They were just beginning to settle down, work out their new rules, and declare borders. But what caught the group's attention was the near murder of a young kittypet, almost mauled to death by proto-SkyClan's leader, Skystar. Unable to heal wounds with her magic, Star Flower managed to bring the cat to a twoleg, who took her away.
-Appalled by the cruelty, Star Flower took a great interest in Skystar's group, and witnessed several of his other crimes against his cats and the other groups. As did One Eye, who, seeing the early signs of a plague, had an idea to put this cat and the other leaders in their place.
-One Eye and Star Flower joined the group, with One Eye acting as a curious loner, flattering Skystar with praise. Skystar enjoyed his company, and so One Eye grew in the rank rather quickly. He also took a great interest in Star Flower and her abilities. After murdering Tom, who insulted the cats and attempted to attack them, One Eye took the chance to take control over the group, overpowering Skystar and using Star Flower's power to keep the remaining cats in line- everything is going to be okay, you'll get your cure... if you stay in line and do as One Eye says.
-This went on for a moon, of Star Flower holding her magic over the heads of her clients to keep their loyalty towards One Eye. She would be lying if she said she didn't feel pride at it all at helping her father.
-Ultimately, One Eye was overthrown and killed when Skystar came back with reinforcements from the other clans. The rest of the rogues they'd accumulated ran off, and suddenly, Star Flower was alone. She'd never been without her father, and running would mean abandoning his grave, which she didn't want. But... this place had been a home to her for some time now, and she needed a place to stay. SkyClan had taken all of the available territory in the area, anyways, and she was in no shape to brave the other territories or twolegplace. So she offered her power to SkyClan as a peace offering and asked for shelter in return.
-Skystar was still sore from the event, but he couldn't deny that having Star Flower as an asset would be beneficial to him in the long run. And around this point, his son Thunderstar had disowned him and split off ThunderClan from SkyClan. He felt that he was losing allies, losing family, and he latched on to desperate Star Flower very quickly- as a cat who would never disobey him.
-Skystar takes Star Flower under his wing as his new child, her new ward, instating her as a medic. And because she is loyal to a fault, she won't disobey a new leader so similar to her father. And so, he pushes her to do humiliating things in front of the camp, ranging from general chores like tick baths, to forcing her to run laps around camp with an injury if she took too long to work her magic. He would take out his frustration from gatherings on her and berate her over the most menial things. He would make her withhold her power to help anyone in the clan who had displeased him. And if Star Flower ever tried to stick up for herself, all he had to do was remind her of what she did, how she helped torment his cats by holding a cure over their heads to help out her father.
-This went on for years, Star Flower becoming more and more despondent. One night, there was a particularly stressful gathering, in which Skystar got into a territorial dispute with Thunderstar over a pack of dogs ravaging the territories. He lost the dispute, came home, and immediately took it out on Star Flower, shouting at and attacking the molly for "taking too much food she didn't deserve". And something in Star Flower finally snapped, and for the first time, she didn't save a life- she took one. And another. And another. As many as what remained in Skystar's soul. She was discovered taking his very last life in his nest, while she was wondering if she could pin it on the dogs. She escaped the camp, and wandered the territory for the rest of her life.
-Unfortunately, while she finally won against Skystar in the moment, it was history who decided the victor. Sparrowstar declared that they couldn't let a tragedy like this happen ever again, and doubled down on banishing rogues. Every rogue-born cat was looked at with suspicion from then on, and as the decades began to pass, Star Flower's story became twisted and bent. As the story is told, a rogue had infiltrated SkyClan's camp asking for help, but had manipulated and charmed the leader with her prowess and rose in the ranks just high enough to take him out and attempt to claim his spot. Her story was used as a cautionary tale against rogues, warning cats against those who would infiltrate the camp and rot it from the inside. Eventually, even her true name was lost to time...
Rotten Flower, Warrior of The Dark Forest
Skystar didn't hesitate to throw her in the depth of the Dark Forest when she died. She wears her mask constantly, trying to keep away from the sickness of the muck. She's embraced the false myth made about her, claiming to have killed a founder for power and prestige. But in reality, it's been so long that she's forgotten her family, her power, her name. She barely even remembers Skystar himself. Though she's admired in the Dark Forest for her achievements, she doesn't hang around anyone, and acts hostile to those who approach her.
Perhaps someone can help her remember who she truly is...?
#changing up the way I do these! wanna make it a bit more clear this is all an au#might go back and update those older posts#anyways...i blorbo'd her. i know everyone likes making her a femme fatale and thats awesome and cool and great if you do that#but man... in canon shes so tragic. shes not allowed to be a person. just a tool for one eye then an object for clear sky#shes treated as evil for warning her dad about an ambush and shes gotta humilate herself for forgiveness. like... man. i wanted to lean int#that. like shes still screwed up for helping her dad use her magic to control people especially during the plague but she didnt deserve thi#also dw she DOES leave the dark forest. she escapes. homegirl does get better#star flower#warriors#wc#warrior cats#dotc#dawn of the clans#skyclan#dark forest#razorverse#anyways i may revise this overtime.... i dont want this to just come across as like. starf suffering hour#she had good parts of her life. i kinda want to make her and bumble friends#edit: i retooled star flower to be skystar's adoptive daughter once thunderstar disowns him#i wanted to play with the original text but. that sort of thing just skeeves me out way too much sorry. so im gutting it#you already know he sucks. i dont want to do any more than that.
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So this is where I'm at rn for motivation....
Not sure if this is valid, but I'm here 🤷
#for the record I absolutely hate this theory#if that isn't clear 😅😅😅#plus his videos are fun lil background noise for me#but also those videos are from... like... 10 years ago so some of y'all gotta chill tf out
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my brain is running a million miles a minute rn
help
#ying rambles#let me try to just spew out my ideas in here so i'm not making so many individual posts#uh let's see#i wanna make an underwater version of void ying (my main sona rn)#where instead of having stars all over there's little fish? and they're wearing a clear raincoat and boots#i wanna draw myself in little outfits again (like those old wardrobe memes that are like pjs casual formal etc)#i need to actually sit down and draw new pfps for main and spam cause i'm tired of my current ones#it seems like the reverse absolutes are winning the poll so i have to come up with an archangel javier design (not that hard actually)#but i want to try to draw his rainbow wings in that piece?? maybe??#and then there's the turnaround i just talked about that i have to figure out#cause that's like what. 4 frames if we keep it simple (front left back right). or 8 if we do quarter turns (so many angles..)??#and then there's the drifting closer comic that's in second place in the poll#i have a vague idea of what i want it to look like but i need to sit down and sketch it to actually figure it out#and then at some point i need to figure out what the fck i'm drawing for the tged zine#cause i don't actually know what i'm gonna do yet (but i have until june to think on it i guess)#and. and...#... i think that's everything?#no there's still a lot of other stuff i wanna do but these tags are so long by now..#if you read them all uh good on you i guess?#i gotta go to bed i need to cease thinking-
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Horse girl arc (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#The Captain#This scene was so cuuuuuuuuute <3 <3 <3#Genuinely gave me the vibes of an ingénue meeting a unicorn <3 So saccharine and adorable <3 <3#And then of course he closes it out with wanting to add the horse to his menagerie lol ZEX! Incorrigible ♪#And also the fact that he was openly obliviously displaying his hickeys pffft ♫ He didn't know!#I'm pretty sure he was wearing a hoodie actually but like - wide necked collar tho. Gotta show off lol#I love that they'd both never interacted with a horse haha ♥ So many things Zelnick never got to interact with being an Unzervalt boy ouq#And how ZEX automatically assumes danger haha - just because YOU collect dangerous beasts doesn't mean that everything you find beautiful is#His tastes do tend to skew pretty ravenous tho - in several ways hehe#Also is it clear that I myself never had a horse girl arc lol - one of my friends did! But not me so much haha#I did look up references! ......After I'd mostly drawn her look I'm trying lol#Horses are shaped so funny haha#I definitely feel like I nailed the silhouette horse - ignore that she's mostly a stick figure there lol#The ship is more meant to be shorthand than literal lol - y'know a UFO abduction we all know what those look like lol#I thought it might not communicate the same if I actually drew an Intruder no I'm not just putting it off because I haven't drawn one before#Maybe if I drew a little more outside of just my offline days lol but I find so many other things to do!
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"how did he get patrick in those pants"
listen man i know my guy p. stump he's the kind of white guy who unironically thinks watchmen is some deep political manifesto
#pete otoh is a weird rorschach/the comedian amalgamation kin#they're both silly men with shitty taste <3 hope that's clear#yes im still thinking about the ugly watchmen pants#im sorry this is how y'all find out I've a decades long dislike for alan moore#we gotta burn those pants for the good of mankind#the only good thing about them is that i love it when fob shares clothes. specially p2 bc.. well. u know.
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yeah sex is great but have you ever unflooded your street by removing leaves from the storm drains using the litter-grabber tool you bought from lowe's two weeks ago for that exact purpose?
#every year my street floods in the autumn when it rains heavily. usually multiple times. every year!!!#i hate it it's so stressful. and of course the cars keep driving down it even though it's unsafe. a lot don't even slow down#and they throw up these huge walls of water with their passage#the street becomes totally unusable for pedestrians wheelchair users bikers strollers etc.#it's just the worst. and every year i'm like oh i should get a thingy so i can do something about it#and i never do in time. but this year. THIS year. watch out world#i cleaned out the drains preventively a few times in the past couple weeks but today is the first day of somewhat heavy wind and rain#so i went out this evening and two of the four drains were completely clogged :( but i got out my tool & as soon as i cleared a little spac#a whirlpool formed and sucked all the water into it! with this amazing noise. it was fantastic#then i cleared away the rest of the leaves cuz that tiny spot would get covered up very quickly otherwise#i came back by an hour later and they're still looking great <3 i'm basking in the afterglow#it is funny how much easier a homeowner could do this than me. those people have yard debris cans#they have space for shovels. god. a shovel. my kingdom for a shovel#i'm just piling the leaves on the curb one handful at a time and then leaving them there (out of the way of everyone of course)#because i have nowhere else to put them and no way to transfer them farther distances#but it's mostly just apartments near this intersection so we gotta do it for ourselves#anyway i'm probably gonna have to do it again tomorrow because there are a lot of dead leaves out there right now#but man! i've never been able to do anything about this before except call the city and wait for them to send someone. this feels so good
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the most adhd thing ever abt me is that my youtube watch later has over 600 videos on it and the earliest ones date back to circa 2009. i am infinitely putting things off for later
#another thing is how i started watching dawson's creek online for free in middle school#and now i am. 27. and still have not finished watching dawson's creek (been stuck on the last season for yrs. yes the one jensen's in)#also have various books i started reading years ago and have yet to finish. they are just hanging in limbo until i circle back to them#i'm also this way about my writing *staring at you WIP fic i've had since oct 2021*#*and staring at you and you and you multiple other smaller WIP fics started since then as well*#*aaaaaand staring at YOU original fiction projects i've had for close to a decade*#anyways. all this brought on by saving multiple vids to my watch later and dooming them to a fate of never being watched#no no i will watch them i will! (they're fun educational vids on space stuff !!)#but yea gotta. clear out some of those early vids on my watch later bc they were from the h*p days and yea. neverrr getting back into that#vic.txt
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love my social worker he's so sweet and i love my mentor/guide/one day i'll find a fitting english word for what her role is too. last time i met the former he said they talked abt the thing i'm starting this thursday and said "while it feels like these circumstances may be impossible for you, logically speaking you shouldn't succeed there, yet both of us are certain you will" which is very nice but also AAAAAAAAAAAAA
#they're right like these ARE p much impossible circumstances for me#but i do think they think too highly of me and i'm definitely gonna disappoint them 🥲#this was both assuring yet. like. pressuring. if that's the right word idk#ik there's the whole. 'what if i fail' 'but what if you don't' back and forth but genuinely. realistically speaking. i most likely will#i have never been able to maintain those daily structure stuff like school for example#and while i do hope that since this is only 4 short days a week (with a break in between 2 and 2) and smth i like doing -#- then i'll have an easier time. but. it's still gonna be so hard.#there's a reason i don't go out or wake up early ughhhhh it's bc i hate doing it. idk if theater would be enough to make up for that#and what if i don't like the people what if i don't get along with the directors what if i struggle with remembering lines or physicality#which will make it all so much harder and make the part i'm supposed to love unpleasant as well#what would i do then 🥲#. why am i anxious about this rn. i have a tough day ahead of me for a different reason i should probably focus on first 🫠#vent#sorryyyyyyy it's 1 am and i need to clear my brain out it seems#also maybe i want. advice. or encouragement. idek what i want. here. i don't wanna have to worry abt this but that's impossible ofc#(my mom told me today that she wants to tell me there's nothing to stress about but she knows that'll just be incorrect 😭 and she's right)#(dw she meant it nicely and gently as in she knew i'd just get mad at her for saying it lol. and i mean. again. gotta be realistic)
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I'm insanely close to clearing my first 10-star song in this game (highest star difficulty) and honestly it's kind of crazy to think that I've made this much progress already ;A;
just one more percent to reach and i'm in the clear zone - I just gotta get through the ending without dying xD
#i feel like it's one of those songs i can definitely clear#as long as i just grind it out a few more times#it's insanely painful to play tho. so much happens at once#so i gotta pace myself with it so i don't break my fingers lol#also hahahhaa i guess i'm not done talking about this game rip xDD this is a huge hurdle to clear tho so i just !!#wanted to share my progress and how close i am to clearing it!!#spectre says#hatsune miku: project diva mega mix
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thinking about how mid the magireco anime was and blacked out again
#it feels like it was made by people who fundamentally did not understand the original#it feels like it was made by people who were like ‘’ermm kyubey had a point actually’’#sayaka would not say or do those things. saying this as a sayaka apologist she is not that good of a fighter#and she sure as hell isnt mamis bestie out of the entire group. even in this timeline we see mami still only ever confided in madoka#but god forbid madoka do anything in this madoka spinoff so sayakas gotta do the gacha combo move#wow their combo move is so good dont you wanna go download the app and do it?#cant show sayaka struggling in a serious fight or keeping up or clashing with the others constantly#bc if we do that then players may not want to roll for her in the gachaaaa#like yeah she was extremely competent in rebellion and it was awesome to see but she had the knowledge of all timelines there#so that made sense.#idk i know ive been harping on that scene where sayaka is mamis biggest bestie but it is just so illuminating to me#how clear it is that the creators of the spinoff did not understand the original characters at all#echoed voice
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okay sonic and shadow being sappy and banter-y was fun and all but now to balance it out i need something where they're ripping each other's throats out for enrichment <3 we need some of the rivalry energy again
#sorry if you dont consider the prime stuff sappy but by my aro standards it absolutely is shdkjd#i DID enjoy it to be clear#but now we gotta get the other extreme out there please. i 🧡 rivals#talks#sonic#sonic prime spoilers#<- vaguely#i mean. we all already knew from the trailer hdkdjd#maybe i just need to rewatch season 1 dkdhdj#they fought a lot more in those flashbacks + the start of s2#i want them to throw hands again!!!!!!!!!!#i like when they annoy the hell out of each other
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A WEEK AGO i had a dream about this goddess woman who needed a date for a really fancy otherworldly being party for whatever reason so she turned some rabbit into a person to pose as her +1 and despite being a very confused and mildly frightened prey animal turned human he kinda took it in stride and did his best. they had a lot of fun at the party
#dream journal#art#traditional art#watercolour#she gets the i heart ny shirt too. no oc can escape it#(also i just realized i forgot to colour in the heart sorry)#also im not sure about goddess womans colour scheme. thats the thing about dreams a lot of things arent super clear#so i gotta figure out things based off vibes LOL#i think the story was like she needed a long term partner date for the party cause of i dunno. societal obligations in her deity society#so she just grabbed a bunny that was minding his own beeswax and asked him to fake being her husband#like one of those stories
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I like coloring I like coloring I like coloring I like coloring (tears in my eyes)
#wipz#agh the main frustration is prob just. not having a super clear direction ajdhd#also this is like. a comic and i honestly am just fucking around and finding out with that sjdhdj#im kinda getting there tho#and it's not like i havent gotten into pinches before when trying to put colors together#its like idk. very mentally taxing in a way bc u gotta process colors and be sensitive to the little qualities of those colors#and a lot of times i just gotta take breaks during the process bc of that#its ok. i enjoy the frustration in the end ajdhdj
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#i hate having to submit my writing to be graded or judged ....#it's different when it's like articles bcs imo those are more structured and clear but narrative/poetry is so different and i hate that#also bcs having to submit it for it to be compared is scary bcs i know not everyone is gonna like it or even undertstand it ???#and also those things send me down a spiral of comparison bcs i compare my own work to others' and i feel like mine is so awful and that i#suck as a writer#which i know is crazy bcs i know i am very good !!!!!! i just overthink too much#anw this assignment is making me overthink bcs idek how to start and that's stressing me out ......#i gotta relax
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...
#the burdent of not being understood. its annoying and i dont like it. also its my fault#because if u say something serious in a light tone ppl dont kno wtf to do. prob bc they dont kno if ur delusional or not and like dont#wanna upset u. but then its like annoying bc they still walk away worried and im like ok neither of us r happy bc u dont get how serious#thjs is but i cant tell u how serious it is without making u worried. and y should i make u worry if u can't fuckinf do anything abt it?#so its just annoying. which is to say i went to a retirement lunch today and it was as awkward as i imagined#bc it was me and my boss and a couple professors and i dont do well in these group situations anything so i spent a lotta time spaced out#not hearing anyone bc the noise in the room was messy and my brain was peeling away from my body. but whatever i was there. and my boss#drove us both and on the way back she started the. im worried abt u talk. which i feel like she was too hesitant abt it. which like i get#bc its awkward to bring up but like i dont give a fuck so idk i feel like u gotta start those conversations like. this is how watching u#makes me feel. idk whatever. and i was honest but like it was a 5min car ride so i didnt have thr time to be like ok heres the deal. ya#kno? so now im all annoyed bc my brain is fucking unbearable when i feel like i havent made my thoughts clear. and now its like. do i bring#it back up? or just let it go? whats to be gained by talking abt it? all that i have to say is upsetting bc im very aware im being self#destructive. thats the point. i get boried and my brain only lets me do like 2 things so i use those things to make myself insane. bc at#least then i can observe the symptoms of the stress im exherting on myself. and i kno that not good bc idk how to stop and ppl r always#like u gotta relax. what will help u relax? and im like u dont fucking understand. i cant regulate thr amount i like things. if i like#something i like it so much it becomes stressful. and i like drawing but its not relaxing. its a thing i have to do and its stressful bc im#constantly thinking abt making things perfect and never meeting thst mark. my happiest memories arent even happy moments theyre just times#where my brain stopped for a second and i could just breathe for a minute. so like i cant relax. i dont like anything a normal amount so#the solution must be medication. but my brain has decided im not allowed to fix this problem until i move away so like 🙃 and like i was#giving little bits of this in the car but its like lady i kno its a problem. ive known its a problem for years. the self awareness doesnt#help. except that it keeps me from doing anything extremely bad bc for me if i at least kno where it comes from i can b like ah yes. this#is fucking stupid lol. but i dunno how me sharing all this helps bc im sure it only raises the worry. but like its fine. i mean its not but#like ya kno. and i was kinda explaining how upsetting it is for me to have my schedule changed without warning even if its for things other#ppl would see as good and i wasnt thst firm abt it so it was: but i can't just do nothing for u! and i was like ugh fuck it fine whatever.#and like do i bring that back up bc it is like a respect my boundaries thing but like i feel like if i were anyone else it would be good#to drag someone out of their comfort zone but im being dragged into situations i find profoundly isolating bc i cant seem to function in#groups. ugh its just fucking annoying bc i dont want her to feel bad. i appreciate the effort but like ugh its exhausting. whatever. it was#anyway. im just annoyed thst i should have explained things better. also im annoyed thst i constantly forget most things taste bland and#then im annoyed when i hsve to eat bland things. i think my nose doesnt work right bc i csnt smell much either#unrelated
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