when when when….. Jhariah…..

[Rambling]

While trying to assign astro charts to stranger things characters I made a realization. Everyone always talks about how Saturn rules the father and the complex relationships capricorn placements may have w their parents (namely fathers) so i got to thinking🤔 Wouldn’t a cap rising = someone who heavily resembles their father either visually or personality wise.

I got to this conclusion bc in the show Mike is very very VERY emotionally constipated. Very much like pulling teeth trying to get him to admit his feelings for El to her face😭 so off that alone he has to have a shit ton of aquarius placements. I’m putting him as an aqua moon and aqua venus. Then i thought about the environment he grew up in. Namely the type of father he has. Mike v much like his dad just not a bum. But the point is he’s a product of his environment. His very neglectful environment so that’s why expressing his emotions is like pulling teeth for him cus when has he ever seen his parents be vulnerable with each other?

Anyway let’s go back to the Capricorn theory I had. Namely capricorn rising. If saturn rules the father and the ascendant is the self then naturally Capricorn risings would take after their father and be a lot like them either consciously or unconsciously. While both his parents play a part in his emotional…. not there ness💀 I think his dad suspect #1. Which is why i was like “me assigning him a cap rising wouldn’t be too off because he’s kinda like his dad a bit”. So there we have it. Aqua moon Aqua venus capricorn rising.

I haven’t figured out his sun merc or mars yet. But also him being a capricorn rising would mean he’s an aries 4h which tracks because him and his siblings are all extremely independent because they live in a neglectful ass environment😭 Been doing shit by himself since a young age which tracks for an aries 4th house.

The 4th house is what I was basing his ascendant off of tbh. Like if i could find a 4h sign that matched the dysfunctional mess that is the wheeler household then i’d be able to work my way backwards 3 signs up. Whatever it was there just HAS to be URANUS OR NEPTUNE influence in that 4th house. Hell the both of them are prob in there TANGOING. Idc they’re deff in there somewhere.

So w that being said if I don’t have mike as a capricorn rising then my second guess would be Gemini rising because then there would be a virgo 4h. The wheelers give off this impression of a calm docile stereotypical suburban family who all have their shit together w their nice little house nice cars and nice little nuclear family uno🤷🏾‍♀️ They have a nice put together image but in reality his parents suck but that’s besides the point. Gemini rising also tracks. Because w an aqua moon and aqua venus that would also explains why he SUCKS at vulnerability and anything that has to do w like….. emotions💀

I also was gonna put him as a libra 4h for that reason until i forgot to account for cancer when i was counting backwards n realized that Gemini rising would not give him a libra 4th. But that thought also opened up a new train of thought… VENUS IN THE 4TH. It obviously would be conjunct neptune or something. Venus conjunct neptune in the 4th gives the ILLUSION of this perfect nuclear family who all have their shit together when again.. in actuality.. THE WHEELER PARENTS R UNHINGEDJDJDJD. They’re so silly 😭 especially Ted bro.

that was like 5-6 paragraphs i wrote going on absolutely absolutely nothing… i just love to chat fr. But anyways lmk what we’re thinking.. Does he give Cap rising more or gemini rising more🤔.. so long as we all agree he has some aqua stellium of some sort + neptune/uranus activity in the 4th that’s all that matters

With Grace

He's standing in the kitchen, leaning against the work surface bottle of bud in hand and his face is so animated as he shares yet another story from his time preforming, 'I kid you not i went arse over tit, I don't think I've ever gotten up so quickly in my life' His laugh is just the funniest thing you think you've heard, he really throws himself into it, his head goes back and his whole face just creases up as he heaves with laughter, you're not quite sure which is funnier, the story or his laugh. You lean forward from the work top you were perched upon directly across from him and take the bud from his hand, 'so how much alcohol was in your system at that point?' you giggle as you ask taking a gulp from the bottle you hand it back, feigning shock his hand on his chest 'I'm a professional ill have you know, there was not a drop of alcohol in me at that point' his head is thrown back again in laughter as he adds 'there was a fucking lot in me after to get over the embarrassment and the ribbing everyone gave me but there wasn't a drop in me on stage' 'ahh so you're a professional are you?' i jest 'absolutely, i save getting pissed for after the shows' oh that laugh of his. 'so, any of these stage falls result in injury?' I ask taking the bottle back and having another glug, I'm not sure why we're sharing a bottle, there's plenty in the fridge but neither of us made a move to get any more, he's been renting my spare room for almost 2 months now and we've both become comfortable with each other, comfortable enough to share a bottle of bud, or maybe we're just both lazy I muse, I mean the fridge is only a few feet away, either of us could grab another bottle easily yet neither do. At first it was a little awkward having him move in, I'd been living alone for quite some time but when my neighbour mentioned he knew some kid looking for a room to rent for a while and would I be interested in taking in a lodger I thought why not, a bit of company could be good, two months later and we got on like a house on fire and felt comfortable enough to share a bottle of bud. 'nahh, I'm gangsta tough' he replies throwing some silly hand sign that I'm guessing was supposed to make him look tough, it was my turn to throw my head back in laughter after seeing that 'what?' his voice rising an octave as he tries to sound hurt 'just look at my arms if you don't believe I'm gangsta' 'yeah your Lego head tattoo and paw print just scream gangsta' I shoot back still laughing 'hey! Its not the picture inked its the amount of ink that proves gangstaness' 'gangstaness' I'm roaring at that 'that's not even a word' 'its in the dictionary, the gangster dictionary' he throws his head back roaring with me This guy is so funny, he cracks me up so much, I don't remember a time where I've laughed so much, i really was enjoying having him bunking down in my spare room, he was ok, ok for a ginger dude from Suffolk. 'so why all the tattoos?' I ask taking another glug from the bottle feeling it was nearing empty I hop off the unit and grab another from the fridge, I'm rummaging in the drawer for the bottle opener as he replies 'cus tattoos are cool innit' finishing the last glug from the first bottle, 'so you covered your arms in ink because its cool?' the top springs off and clinks as it hits the work top and I slide the opener out of the way and turn to face him again leaning against the opposite work surface to him, 'well I'm a ginger I kind of needed some coolness about me' he replies 'and i really like them so I thought why not' he's taking the cold bottle from me as he says 'and its not just my arms' with a cheeky wink he takes a big gulp from the bottle, my eyebrows raise is shock 'really?' i ask, 'where else have you got inked?' 'where haven't I is the question?' he shoots back with a grin spreading across his face Oh that's not fair, I need to know now 'not fair, you have to tell me now' 'do I now' he laughs 'yup, as your landlady I demand to know where you're inked so i can make judgement on weather you're a suitable house mate' i giggle at my pathetic attempt to find out where he is tattooed 'only problem with that love is I'm already your housemate' he winks as he takes another glug of beer I think maybe the little I've drank is going to my head as I start to feel warm and smiley, I'm a giggly drunk which can be embarrassing especially as it doesn't take much to make me feel drunk, I'm such a lightweight. My bottom lip curls under my top teeth and pops back out as I reply 'shirt off Sheeran' my eyebrow raises 'I wanna see' He looks slightly shocked at my reply and pauses for a beat before releasing a breathy giggly and then reaches for the bottom of his t-shirt 'you sure you can control yourself?' he jokes 'I'll try' I reply dryly holding in the giggles. He leans forward off the work surface and lifts his t-shirt and tugs it over his head with one hand, I think I just gasped at that sight, I'm also pretty sure I'm holding my breath now, breathe Grace, Breathe. 'tada...' he exclaims 'wow!!' my brain doesn't seem to want to form words so i just repeat myself 'wow' He's laughing again as he gulps down more beer 'I was not expecting that' I say as my brain starts working again 'wow... Just wow!' He's covered in tattoos, covered! The whole of his torso is a mass of colours just like his arms, so vibrant and absolutely stunning, in the middle of his chest sits the most beautiful lion I think I've ever seen, it really was breath taking, my eyes trail lower taking in a shark, some cherry blossom and a small keyhole that sits above his belly button, I gulp as my eyes go even lower spotting a heart encased in a red circle like a road sign and just above the band of his Jack Willis boxers its a line of flowers stretching along his lower abdomen from hip to hip. Oh gosh I'm feeling warm again, I reach out for the bottle giving my hands something to do 'oh, you look totally gangsta' I say with a smirk I close the gap between us and reach a hand out 'can I?' he nods taking the beer bottle back, my hand lands on his rib area as I twist his body slightly to get a look round the side and back, a red castle sits on his hip round near his back and as I swing him back to how he was I spot a little dinosaur and some red lips, I lightly twist him the opposite way and see the cherry blossom start at his hip raising to his ribs and as my fingers trail higher I see a red rose sitting on his shoulder, I lift his arm and have to laugh as I spot a fresh prince sign, oh how I used to love that show. I just cant believe how many tattoos this guy has, there's so many, and they're all so random, coffee cups, a ketchup bottle, a teddy bear, a huge tree and three boxing gloves along his forearm an arrow with Kool guy written by it, its crazy, who has those things tattooed on them, this guy does that's who!! 'you're covered' I say 'well I don't like to do things by half' he replies taking another swig of beer My hand slides down his stomach until its sitting below his belly button to one side near his hip 'so' I say feeling brave, looking up at him with a smirk 'how far down do they go?' 'ahh that's for me to know' he shoots back quickly with another wink, god he has such a cute little wink I take the bottle back in my free hand and take a few gulps before sliding my hand lower over his skin still on his side near his hip, I stop as I feel the material of his boxers, looking up at him I raise one eyebrow and smirk 'oh I think I need to find out for myself' I giggle as he gives an expression that says by all means please do, I start to lower myself to my knees my face close to his chest and stomach as I travel down his exposed skin, up close the lion is magnificent, well all his tattoos are really, I hear his intake of breath as I stop close to his zipper, I cant help but giggle, I think I may be at my limit for alcohol, but still I reach up and grab the bottle, taking a gulp I look up and lock eyes with him, its my turn to cheekily wink this time, my lips leave the glass of the bottle smirking as I turn to look at his hip where my hand sits on the top of this boxers, I gently pull back the material so it folds over the jeans he's wearing, I almost feel disappointed to see pale skin, my hand travels along his waistband around to his lower belly and again I pull the material back only this time I hold it out and again I'm met with pale skin and a mixture of light red hair, i let the material ping back against his skin and start to stand 'not so gangsta after all' I say as I'm facing him laughing as I step back and lean against the opposite work top, he scoffs and replies 'well I'm more gangsta than you' 'at least I have tattoos' I laugh as he mocks being hurt 'I never said I didn't have tattoos'  his eyebrows shoot up in shock and he replies 'oh well now I'm gonna have to see them to judge your gangstaness' 'no chance' I reply,' and they're not plural, just the one' taking another drink I wonder what I may have started. 'oh now come on, I showed you so its only fair I get to see your tattoo' he wines, well I guess he does have a point although I'm not sure I feel comfortable showing him mine, I gulp hard and he spots this 'ahh I think you're chicken' he teases I cock my eyebrow as if to say try me and he takes a step closer to me, looking down over me and as serious as anything he says 'shirt off O'Neil' suddenly I feel weak in the knees and am thankful for the fact I'm leaning against the work surface, oh jeez what have I got myself into, I take another gulp of beer emptying the bottle in to my mouth and slowly stand forward off the work surface and place the empty glass to one side, we're pretty close right now, his nose can almost touch my hair as he looks down at me smirking, that smirk, so cheeky! I take a deep breath and think sod it, he wont find it so lets see who's chicken, I drop my hands to the bottom of my sweatshirt and drag it up over my body and discard it on the unit next to me, his face is a picture, breath held and eyes open wide as he drops his eyes down my body landing on the navy blue bra I wore, I don't think he was expecting this much nakedness when he challenged me, I giggle slightly and say 'who's chicken?' he takes a small step backwards still transfixed on my bra, I'm guessing he's a boob guy by his inability to tear his eyes away from my chest, his face is starting to look a bit flustered and I just cant help but tease 'well what are you waiting for, you're not chicken are you?' his eyes shoot up to mine and a smile spreads over his mouth 'no way' he replies 'so, let me see, where could this tattoo be?' he says pondering to himself, he takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he tentatively reaches both hands out to land on my sides above hip height, he adds pressure to one hand slowly forcing me to twist around where he checks out my hip and side, he then hums to himself and twists me the opposite direction and again glances around that side of my body, his eyebrows are furrowed together as he turns me back straight 'this doesn't seem as easy as you finding mine' he says with a giggle 'well I'm not a fan of the in your face look, I like small and compact' i retort keeping eye contact with him 'so small and compact' he repeats to himself again biting down on his lower lip, I cant help but think about running my thumb along that bottom lip of his, I cant take me eyes off it as he chews down on it thinking about where my tattoo could possibly be 'so, if its small and compact its most likely hiding under something' he questions bringing my eyes back up to look at his, I shrug my shoulders and smirk, I'm not helping him find it, he shocks me as he spins me round totally so that my belly is against the work top and my back towards him, his hands find my sides again and I feel them ever so lightly trail down towards my hips, I'm holding my breath again, breathe Grace, breathe I have to remind myself as I feel his hands start to travel up my body, they stop at the bottom of my bra strap and for a second I think he may be about to open my bra, my eyes are wide open not sure on how to react to this but instead he gently lifts the strap of fabric round near my under arm and flips it up and over exposing the skin underneath as I did his boxer waistband, my bottom lip snakes in to my mouth and I chew on it slightly smiling at the knowledge he wouldn't find anything under there. I feel him slowly replace the fabric and his hands move over to the to other side of my body and bra where he repeats the same thing and again finds nothing but skin, I hear him huff and thinking he's defeated I spin round to face him again a smirk on my face 'ah ah' he tuts, 'I'm not done yet' he says pushing me back so I'm snug against the work top, he's biting his lip again thinking of what his next move should be when he looks up and meets my eyes, for a second neither of us blink or look away, my breathing slows to shallow breaths and I swear he can hear my heartbeat, god its all I can hear pounding away in my ears, I'm nervous, so nervous, I'm standing in my kitchen in jogging bottoms and my bra with my house mate who I've know a little over two months and I'm feeling things i haven't felt in a long time, I'm unsure of what to do but before panic sets in he takes a small step backwards and all I see is him sinking to his knees hands sliding down to sit on my hips, yep I've definitely forgotten to breathe, oh god I can feel the panic rising in me, his fingers play with the waistband of my joggers and I gulp so hard that he looks up and once again our eyes are locked, my hair hanging down as I look down to him kneeling in front of me hands at my waist ready to tug at my joggers, I slowly shake my head, its hardly noticeable  but he nods back at me acknowledging my no and he starts to raise back to his feet hands still at my hips, our noses almost touch as stands and straightens up, glancing down at me biting his lip again, oh why does he always do that, it makes me feel things I really shouldn't be feeling 'I give up, small and compact has beaten me' he says with a serious tone dropping one hand away from my hip but leaving the other in place toying with my waistband, I suddenly feel all breathy and am aware that if I speak I may give away how I'm feeling, I glance down and it dawns on me he's still shirtless, how had I not noticed that, he's so close I could just reach out and touch him, land a hand on his lions mane and feel the heat from his skin, god what's going on with me tonight I think, this is not me, 'hey' he tips his head lower to get my attention 'you ok down there' he asks' be cool Grace, be cool my brain screams 'oh..... I, err, I cant stop thinking about that gangsta dictionary' I say 'I wonder what other words are in it' his laugh is forced out with a gulp of air and he throws his head back and howls at my remark 'oh only the coolest of words' he replies still laughing, 'like what?' I enquire starting to giggle myself 'words like homie and crib, you know like I'm chillin in the kitchen with ma homie in ma crib' he says proper gangsta style hands flying up to make signs I had no idea of, this guy is funny I think to myself as I laugh along with him, so funny, my brain desperately not trying to admit to itself what else I think about him! 'I, err... I think I'm going to call it a night' I say looking up at him, he backs away from me running a hand through his hair  'yeah probably a good idea' I reach for my sweatshirt deciding not to bother putting it back on, 'see ya later homie' I say as  I sling it over my shoulder and walk off towards my bedroom, 'yep you will' he shouts after me popping the p sound which makes me feel all warm and smiley once again. Oh Grace what are you getting your self into my brain questions as I strip the remaining clothes and throw on an old t-shirt to sleep in and hop into bed, 'its cool' I tell myself, 'its just a bit of fun' is my last thought before sleep takes over.

Thanks for reading, I'm a new writer here in the world of Ed smut so any feedback is very much welcomed. Hope you enjoyed it x

Text symbols meme thing for Ivanpez and Talix and like lit anyone else you wanna do it for.

Set in MB:R verse!

IVANPEZ-

MORNING text.

8:03 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Hi handsome! Don’t forget you promised to meet me for brunch at that cute little bistro on main, okay?! Can’t wait to see your pretty face! 🥰

text that WASN’T SENT.

9:30 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] My mother has enough money to cover the slack for us if you just quit your job

RUSHED text.

4:45 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] I’m SOOO sooo sorry I’m running late :((( Got stuck in the goddamn metroplex traffic, swear to god I’ll move to the wilderness and abandon the city completely one day. I’ll be there soon! Promise!

DRUNK text.

3:09 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Move in with me wuit your job. I’ll quit mine. We can go somewhere nice like ...  3:12 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Whefe? Where you what to go 3:13 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Beach? We c an skinny dip every night 3:13 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Hou can buiold a nice beach hut an I will make nice curtains for it, okay?

SUGGESTIVE text.

2:57 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you insisted on wearing that skimpy little white tank to work in just to try and tempt me to tear it off of you. 

LATE NIGHT text.

1:15 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Come here. I want cuddles, and my bed is nicer than yours

HATEFUL text.

5:44 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Peter. 5:44 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] I don’t know what I’ve done to upset you, but I promise I’ll right it. 5:49 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] What do you mean? Of course I have, why else would you have worn those atrocious, eye- searing shirts every day for the past WEEK if not to punish me? 5:51 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] What? 5:51 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you’re punishing me. 5:52 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Still too angry to tell me what I’ve done, I see. Okay. I’ll try again later.

RANDOM text.

2:32 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Gold or indigo? I can’t decide.

SCARED text.

6:45 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Hey, I thought you’d be back by now? 7:02 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Pete? 7:13 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Peter??? Please pick up 7:26 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Baby please

LOVING text.

10:50 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Good night, sweet boy, I hope you have the very best dreams... I know you’re nervous about tomorrow, but you shouldn’t be... you’re perfect. 10:52 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] You’ve got this. Now get some rest... don’t make me come over there 10:52 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Fine, then. See you soon

CURIOUS text.

3:13 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] What are your favorite appetizers? Salty or sweet? Party hosting has become just a little more complicated since I started caring more about your opinion than my own. Feelings can be so pesky sometimes 😛

EXCITED text.

3:13 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Pete!  3:13 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Can you believe we’re leaving on our veeeery first vacation together as a couple together today? Even if it’s just a little two day getaway, I’m SO excited, I’ve been looking forward to this all week. 3:13 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Can’t wait to have you all to myself. You may be sick of me by the time this is over. Fair warning!

ACCIDENTAL text.

1:19 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Oh, I don’t know. I think it’s entirely possible I’m just a way for him to pass a little time. And I’m fine with that. Obviously. Why wouldn’t I be?

HEARTBREAKING text.

1:19 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Pete? 1:24 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] My mother just died. I.... I’m packing to head home to Paris now. Can you go with me?

/ / /

TALIX-

MORNING text.

5:25 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I know you’re sleeping and won’t even see this for another 6 hours or so, but if you come give me a ride home I’ll smuggle you a whole loaf of that cinnamon coffee cake you like. Please

text that WASN’T SENT.

10:17 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] How do you do it? Live like that constantly? It was a ten minute experience two months ago but I’m still having nightmares

RUSHED text.

3:59 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] K, I know Ellis would probably throw the entire knife drawer at your face if you show back up here but there are SO many drunk assholes here right now it almost seems worth it to beg you to come save me

DRUNK text.

9:42 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] U just reality want you to hold me brighttnkw 9:42 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] Plea.Se. And pet my hair, Anne kiss my nose. Ok?

SUGGESTIVE text.

4:35 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I know this is fucked up, okay... 4:35 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] And idk if it’s the full moon or what, but I can’t stop thinking about you with your gun when I’m getting off 4:35 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] Your actual gun. Not your dick, love that one too but the one you... you know what I mean  4:35 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] The way you hold it. Your fingers. Those fucking veins in your arms, Jesus Christ

LATE NIGHT text.

1:32 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] Are you okay? I know it’s silly to be afraid for you every single time the news mentions turf wars and casualties, but I worry about you. Text me when you can

HATEFUL text.

5:18 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] Swear to fuck next stuck up ass businessman that walks through these doors, orders coffee and then wrinkles his nose when he tastes it is getting the whole pot poured on his fancyboy suit. Why do people come here wanting Starbucks? I’m going to scream

RANDOM text.

7:30 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] ...Pretty sure your kid is here staking me out right now. Not even subtle. Staring me down as I text this. Should I be concerned? Pretend I don’t know him? SOS

SCARED text.

4:06 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I think someone’s following me. I keep seeing the same car. At work, outside my apartment 4:07 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] In the parking lot at Krogers. What should I do? 4:08 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I know if they see you it might make things worse but can you come get me? Please. I’m scared

LOVING text.

7:31 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] Hey, hot stuff. I’ll be dead to the world by the time you read this but I just wanted to tell you I hope you have a good day. Kick everyone’s ass. Don’t get arrested. 💖 xo

CURIOUS text.

9:22 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] What do you have planned for Thanksgiving? My brother’s hounding me to bring you back to the farm. No pressure either way. He’s kind of a lot. I think he wants to shovel talk you, so... feel free to be busy, haha

EXCITED text.

5:48 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] You know that cat I’ve been leaving canned tuna out for for like, the last month and a half? 5:48 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] SHE CAME INSIDE 5:48 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] And killed my favorite plant, but! SHE CAME INSIDE!!!

ACCIDENTAL text.

8:57 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I know you’re just worried about me, and I get that 8:57 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] But you need to fuck off. It’s none of your business, man

HEARTBREAKING text.

6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I know I’m being an asshole doing this over text 6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] But I’ve been trying for weeks to say it in person, and I just can’t. I look at you and it wipes everything else out of my brain 6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I don’t know how to commit to a guy with a kid. 6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] And I know you warned me, first thing, and I know I’m being horribly selfish 6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I just. I guess I’m looking for something else. 6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I’m sorry.

/ / /

DONNY/GRAHAM-

MORNING text.

7:37 am [Graham → bitchboy] it’s cold, jackass. if you’re gonna fucking leave me here to freeze by myself you could at least turn up the heat wtf 7:37 am [Graham → bitchboy] inconsiderate motherfucker

text that WASN’T SENT.

7:36 am [Graham → bitchboy] please come back, i dont sleep as well without you

RUSHED text.

6:44 pm [Graham → bitchboy] fucking setup? target expecting me so find your leak

DRUNK text & ACCIDENTAL text.

2:57 am [Graham → bitchboy] i wasfn EXPECTING him, tyler 2:57 am [Graham → bitchboy] i mean everypnoes heard of him. what an asshole he is. cause he is. but hes this asshole who owns a TEDDY BEAR 2:59 am [Graham → bitchboy] of course you won’t believe nme but im not lyin i swear it on my mams grave 3:02 am [Graham → bitchboy] and its not his sons. its his. its so cute. hes cyte. ill stab your duck if you tell anyone 3:03 am [Graham → bitchboy] duck 3:03 am [Graham → bitchboy] duck 3:03 am [Graham → bitchboy] y ouknow.  3:04 am [Graham → bitchboy] god. 3:04 am [Graham → bitchboy] its’ terinle

SUGGESTIVE text & EXCITED text.

11:52 pm [Graham → bitchboy] finally finished up here. 11:52 pm [Graham → bitchboy] eta 47 mins, have your office clear and my reward ready ;)

LATE NIGHT text.

12:02 am [Graham → bitchboy] sometimes i feel like you’re intentionally giving me the lamest possible fucking targets. wtf. i like killing bitches that will stab me back, not pushing pathetic ass grannies down the stairs while her 50 cats watch me? im picking my own files from here on out 12:03 am [Graham → bitchboy] and im bringing the cats 12:03 am [Graham → bitchboy] maybe youll think twice before pulling this shit on me again

HATEFUL text.

6:26 pm [Graham → bitchboy] you sign my paychecks. thats it. you dont get to tell me what to do outside of that. dont get it twisted just because were fucking, asshole

RANDOM text.

8:32 pm [Graham → bitchboy] idc what we do for dinner but i really want cheesecake so

CURIOUS text.

4:30 am [Graham → bitchboy] idk what you and dj usually do for holidays. should i head out? i can crash at my old room at tys, i dont mind

SCARED text & LOVING text & HEARTBREAKING text.

4:29 am [Graham → bitchboy] idk, got me good thus time. pulling over. behind sunoco on 35. dont wnna crash but you should send someone to gt rid of the folders if not my body too by rhen. too much evidence sorry 4:30 am [Graham → bitchboy] im really sorry 4:30 am [Graham → bitchboy] i love you. sorry for not telling you until now . sorry. im so sorry

Part 1: The Legal Team

In which Castor Erkens deals with a pink-haired lawyer

“Goodness me... you've gotten yourself into a doozy of a predicament, haven't you, Mx Erkens?”

“You can say that again.”

Fortunately for cer, Skylar refrains from actually repeating the statement; ce strongly suspects the client at the table isn't in the mood for jokes, judging by the tension in their eyes as they look around. Perhaps it's that very environment that's putting them at unease? Much of Khryushkov Offices' staff has a policy of 'opaque walls, transparent service'... that is, rooms with no windows, or indeed many light sources of any kind. Comrade Nicolay's logic is that it's easier to convince people to sign up with his little pigs when there are no external distractions. Skylar's logic is that ce won't burn up from the Hidden Springs sun.

Oh, but he's overcomplicating it. Castor is doubtless used to rooms lit only by one source, be it spotlight or lantern. It's much more likely the charge is what weighs on them – manslaughter's a heavy burden to bear.

“I mean, just look at what you've got stacked against you,” he continues, rifling through his case notes for part-revision and part-dramatic-effect. At least he can see in these conditions, even if they can't. “One minute you're on stage, on top of the world in front of hundreds – no, closer to thousands, I think you said. And the next minute Mr McClendon is being whisked away by Death himself? And you're the only one who touched him in the meantime? By standing on him?”

They tense in their seat, one hand tight on their other shoulder in a pitiful attempt at self-protection. “Yeah, I know, we went over that. You don't hafta repeat it.”

“I do, Mx Erkens. I couldn't believe it otherwise. We've never had anything quite like it, such a public death; not in all my years. Any other attorney would call it an open and shut case in seconds!”

“Good thing you're not any other attorney then, are you, Seward?”

“Indeed.” Ce grins, and cer fangs run hot under the skin of the mouth... has ce drank today yet? Ce can't recall. “And, do correct me if I'm wrong, comrade, but I believe that's the reason you sought me out? Because you knew that all too well.”

“Me and pretty much everyone else I talked to 'bout this. Second I started mentioning needing a lawyer, your name came recommended right away,” they confess. “Said you were the only one who stood a chance of making this – ” they sweep their arm across, as though all of their sins are contained in this office – “y'know – salvageable.”

“And salvage it I shall. It's simply a question of what to use in your defence, and what this will mean for you. Pre-existing conditions, for instance... Were you to know Mr McClendon had a weak stomach and constitution?”

Or a collapsed lung, perhaps?

He steeples his fingers, focusing on the pressing together of fingerprints, telltale fingerprints, rather than the thought. Their hands clasp, an imperfect mirror of the action.

“Well, there was that waiver everyone had to sign, but he didn't give the specifics on that--”

“There we go then! A non-disclosure of life-threatening conditions. He held back what could have saved him--”

“He also didn't know I was gonna call him up for the Human Bridge. Never thought – either of us, we didn't think we'd need to clarify that.”

Typical human. So naïve, so simple. The Nogtail tosses cer head at the nature of it. “Erkens, Erkens, Erkens. You're missing the point. You came to me to prove the truth, didn't you? That your manslaughter wa--” (he stumbles; was that a 'tch' from them? Did he imagine that? Or is it just a leftover memory of Ramavov?) “...was just that, a mistake. Less than that, if we can swing it, much less. And to prove that, we need to highlight the truths that add apples to your orchard, not theirs. Surely you would not come all this way just to be seen pleading guilty to the charge?”

“N-no, but...”

“But nothing. If innocence is our goal, then we can't have you saying even one thing that implicates you. Apart from anything else, what would it do to our reputation? You honor Comrade Nicolay too much with Narcyz' presence and power for us to tar it with a guilty verdict.”

“Adresti.”

Skylar blinks, thrown by the interjection. “What?”

“My stage name's Adresti,” insists Castor, brow furrowed. “It's always been Adresti. Where'd you get Narcyz from?”

Ce thinks, Really? I could've sworn... But ce says, with equal uncertainty, “R-right. Of course. Adresti.”

The brow doesn't lift. “Sorry. Don't mean to nitpick. It's just a – a lot to deal with, all this, you know, and – you're right, my whole career's on the line whatever it's called. My lifeblood, Seward. If I don't find someone who can get this right or if I mess this up, it'll all...” They seem to shrink within themselves, foolish as that sounds. “And that's scary. I'm scared. Scareder than I've ever been with any stunt I've pulled. Is that silly?”

“No, comrade. I understand completely,” he says smoothly. “As I say, it's a near impossible situation for--”

“Exactly. Impossible. Maybe even for you. Yeah, you talk big, but... Are you sure you're willin' to chance me? That you can do everythin' you say you can? Cus if we lose – if I lose – we're both screwed, honor or not, and--”

“Mx Erkens.”

“--however you look at it, the man's dead, and nothing's gonna--”

“Castor.” Ce lilts more firmly now, stopping their near-tirade in its track. “If I wasn't confident that I could save us both from such a fate, you wouldn't be in my office right now. The fear of failure isn't enough to deter me, nor should it be for you. If you are innocent – and you've given me no reason to say otherwise – then I assure you, the time will come where the courts find that your role in Mr McClendon's death was much exaggerated.”

Ce can see their reservations drop partway, as though a shield. “...you sure? You're really sure about our chances?”

“You have my word. All I need is yours, and we can be on our way.”

…There's no reply from Castor for a few seconds. Ce's about to repeat the question – ce knows, ce knows – when ce realizes: their lips are moving, simply with no sound. Why do clients always do this on the cusp of such important decisions? He focuses his once-again blessed eyes in on the murmuring, scans, scans again...

'Sheesh, you even sound like him.'

Perplexity hits. Like him? Like who? The relevance? All the questions coalesce into one simple adverb:

“What?”

“What? … Oh – nothing. Nothing you'd understand.”

They sniffle, rub their face, and the words are lost... but not the clientele. He shakes off the suspicion. As long as that's in place, they can say whatever they want under their breath. “So, we have a deal?”

“I guess we do.” For the first time since they entered the room, their face shows a glimmer of brightening. “Thanks, Skylar. You've got no idea how much of a weight offa my mind this is.”

“Not at all, Mx Erkens, not at all. Now then, ah, if we can settle the simple matter of the retainer fee...”

It's a short train ride back to Midnight Hollow once the preliminaries are done. Castor even has time to sit down for a coffee and a muffin at the local Little Corsican, board the vehicle, and still return before the sun has set in either neighbourhood.

To the casual observer – to those who know nothing of Gingham's death – their troubled expression is plain, but the cause unidentifiable. Someone on their carriage asks if they're okay once or twice; they briefly acknowledge the remark before looking out at the passing cityside again. Those who do know don't ask, simply edging away from the Berry with eyes of red and blue and green, even as they approach the two-story eyesore they call a home and let themselves in, kick aside the third thrown roll of toilet paper that day.

...No one but the reflection on the wall sees their frown turn into a smile as they lock the door, double-lock. No one but Castor knows it's not one of relief.

It's of triumph.

That was so... easy! Almost too easy! A few of the right words in the right ears, a little reverse psychology, and they had that lookalike lawyer wrapped around their finger! With someone like Seward on their side, they have a solid foundation with which to crush the McClendons, not to mention a shield to offset the more inexplicably negative publicity of the matter. All with barely any effort from them... Lordy, if He could see me now, they half-think half-laugh partway up the stairs, He'd be so proud.

Then again, if He could see me, I wouldn't need Seward in the first place... Oh, well. Soon the time will come.

The keypad awaits at the top, as always. Their input is instinctual, a muscle memory: 1-8-9-4-star-star-A. So is the satisfaction at the click of the sliding secret panel, at their second barely-lit corridor that day once it shuts behind, at the slow change of wallpaper from bone white to peppered grey.

Gingham's glasses are the first thing to greet them in that special side room. They're on a pedestal, unpolished, yet intact. It was a pain to sneak them away from the scene of the incident, with all those eyes on them, but – like the deal with Seward – it was worth it.

A murder makes anything worth it.

Behind the glasses, a lucky rabbit's foot or two. Behind those, a single earring, with part of the earlobe still attached. Beside that, an autographed photo of themselves. A clump of hair in alternating pink and blue. A raven sculpture. These and more than these peppering the floor, each a token of a life taken. Each a snuffed out citizen of their own museum, one they, from the comfort of a linen-mix chair and a repurposed computer desk, can survey and rule.

All were, are, and will continue to be amassed to hone their skills, to soothe their patience... until the time comes to fulfill the purpose they were born again for.

To bring the world their glorious, immortal crescendo.

RULES: Tagged? Write a note with 92 truths about you! Tag 25 people.

I was tagged by @codyscurll

LAST:

LAST THING I BOUGHT: A chicken burger at Hungry Jack’s 

LAST STORE I VISITED: Probably Red Dot or some discount store

LAST TEXT MESSAGE: My dad texting me at 11:30pm asking whether I was on the way home from the wrestling last night

LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Excluding songs that were in youtube videos i may have watched today, it was probably Good Dirty Fun on the way home last night

LAST THING I ATE: A bowl full of diced bell pepper

HAVE YOU EVER:

DATED SOMEONE TWICE: Probably not in the way this question means?

BEEN CHEATED ON: Nah

KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: Don’t think so

LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Ye

BEEN DEPRESSED: Only most of my life

BEEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: Nope

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

MADE A NEW FRIEND: Many :D (shout out to the Breezango Chat for newest online friends)

FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: No

LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Absolutely

MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: Maybe?

FOUND OUT WHO YOUR TRUE FRIENDS WERE: Probably not

FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: I mean that happened yesterday when the ring announcer told me that the kids near his table kept asking whether I was a cop

GENERAL:

HOW MANY PEOPLE ON TUMBLR DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?: Over a hundred

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: Nope, just The Boys (my friend and I feed pigeons and call them our boys)

DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME?: Yup. Gonna be Kristopher. 

WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?: Like noon

WHAT WERE YOU DOING LAST NIGHT?: I volunteered at a wrestling show and I had a nice bath afterwards. The doors opened at 6:30, show started at 7:00, had about 7 matches on the card, finished before 10, clearing up finished at 11-ish and it took me over an hour to get home

NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: Seeing my fiance again. 70 and a half more days. 

HAVE YOU EVER MET SOMEONE NAMED TOM?: Yep. My partner’s best friends. 

WHAT’S GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RN?: Only having a week off school, having more people in my house for a month and not having the ability to concentrate to get things done in a timely manner. 

BLOOD TYPE: A-

NICKNAME: Kris kind of was a nickname. My friend called me Prince Pretty a couple weeks ago. Nicknames don’t stick to me very well. 

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Engaged

ZODIAC SIGN: Aires

PRONOUNS: They/them or he/him (in that order of preference)

FAVORITE TV SHOW: It really depends cus it’s kind of genre-dependent and what I’m feeling. I mean I’m big into wrestling, but also I want it to be better. Safest answer is Avatar: the Last Airbender because it’s a near-perfect show.

COLLEGE: I go back tomorrow and I’m 2 whole assignments behind but we’re starting new ones. Time to scream. 

HAIR COLOR: Dark brown. Kind of miss the hot pink/turquoise streaks but I have a least 3 occasions in the next 2 months where I’m cosplaying Breezango. 

LONG OR SHORT: Short

DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEBODY: I mean I have a fiance. 

FIRSTS:

FIRST SURGERY: Don’t think that having my tongue snipped counts (I was born tongue-tied) so my first surgery was June 15, 2007 on both my legs to lengthen the calf muscles and Achilles tendons

FIRST PIERCING: Ears for my 8th birthday. My dad said I couldn’t get them done until I was 16 but I was a stubborn child. 

FIRST BEST FRIEND: Kerry, Dexter, Kaylie or Jessica. They all lived in my neighbourhood and I don’t know what order I met them in. 

FIRST SPORT YOU JOINED: Probably like tee ball or figure skating

FIRST VACATION: I mean the first trip I went on was probably to Ontario because that’s where I got baptised but as far as being able to form memories, it was statistically Vancouver because my family went there every summer

FIRST PAIR OF SNEAKERS: I was very very young and wouldn’t remember

I ASSUME THESE ARE A DIFFERENT CATEGORY

EATING: I ate pizza since earlier in doing this

DRINKING: Water

I’M ABOUT TO: Probably take a picture for the insty-gram

LISTENING TO: FUCK MY HEADPHONES ARE ON AND NOTHING IS PLAYING

WANT KIDS: Nooooooooope

GET MARRIED: Hell yeah. Gonna marry my cutie fiance. Excited. Probably won’t be for a couple years tho. 

CAREER: Dunno. Something that doesn’t suck? I’d love to get back to selling adult toys. I’m enjoying helping with wrestling and selling stickers. 

WHICH IS BETTER:

LIPS OR EYES: Eyes

HUGS OR KISSES: All about that hug life but why not both

SHORTER OR TALLER: No strong preference but my fiance is a tall boy

OLDER OR YOUNGER: I’ve never liked anyone older than me but all the ppl I’ve liked have been less than 4 months younger than me. 

ROMANTIC OR SPONTEANOUS: Romantic

SENSITIVE OR LOUD: Colgate Sensitive Pro-Relief

HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: Relationship obv

TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

KISSED A STRANGER: Nope

DRANK HARD LIQUOR: Yep

LOST GLASSES/CONTACTS: Not for any amount of time

SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: I’m ace as fuck and haven’t done the do

BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Not to my knowledge

BEEN ARRESTED: Nop

TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: Not really?

FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: Hardcore. 

DO YOU BELIEVE:

IN YOURSELF: I mean I’m very confident in many ways?

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Not really. Instant infatuation sure. 

HEAVEN: Not really

SANTA CLAUS: No but I like all the stories. 

I’m tagging @littlekiwi37-archive, @heelgrendel @proceduralbob @breezesdango @silly-luke-skywalker @thshield

This one time i almost got kidnapped. u/ForgottenLiquidSmoke This is long and im sorrybout that. BUT, all of this happened to me and i remember it like vivid as hell. It ends well. And i dont drink in public because of this. Im also not their friend anymore as they judged me, but they are alive to do so and that is good. This happened about 6 or 7 years ago back then I was young, hot and stupid and an un-admitted alchy. But everyone i worked with in travel drank every time they were off work. So i was in california on business and i had gone out with 2 coworkers and we were smashed but coherent enough to check out we left. Though we needed assistance to get a cab. The sushi place ordered us one. Someone tipped them and all three of us sloshed in the taxi. I had drank since was 17 so my tolerance and drunk awareness was honed. My friends nodded off in the taxi. Drunk. Lights out. I was trying to stay awake as the designated directory because this guy “barely knew english” but lil short spoke fluently and gave him address and directions. And said we would tip him well when we got there safe or something like that as she laughed. We were drunk girls staying in le mesa but kinda near tijuana, I guess (important) even though he had gps he was “avoiding” the highway. I also had my gps up, it was a drunk girl safty measure I learned somewhere. I noticed it kept rerouting and searching via my gps. Now I know. Now I know that (he knew where he was intending go was not where we ordered) but back then me listened to him say detour and traffic and short cuts. With a 20 min drive from food to the hotel turned into like a 2 hour drive by 1.5 hours drunk me was having trouble maintaining consciousness, and telling him wrong turn via my maps gps. I had drank so much, he would get us there I prayed. He turned on the heat too. It was warm and id roll asleep but jerk awake. My drunk mind wanted the sleep my friends had lulled into. But my fight or flight said wake up b*tch!! He got a call and I nodded off to the ringer song he had that was trendy back then. It was some American country song I knew too. Though that didn’t clue me in. I awoke to him saying in clear english that like scared me to my bone. Not because he was innocently bilingual. But, because he seemed shy and acted as though he only spoke spanish when we got in his taxi. So him speaking english made me wake up but not cue him in. As fight mode brain needed to clear the drunk fog and make a plan. I observed my surroundings without alerting him. So i became squinty eyed and listened like a hawk!!! He said in english after acting like “no english, piqueno” “”YEAH I KNOW. IT TOOK(looked back) it took a while for the one girl to fall asleep, she had gps talked to bf on phone or faked it, her phone died. all drunk yeah, potato sacks, ones a two manner. The other two are shoulder bitches” Silence (other person talking maybe). Driver again “2 minutes maybe 10 theres a cop and lights and a wreck ahead here. (Quite other person maybe) “NO, NO, NO, IM AT A RED LIGHT! YEAH, YEAH… WELL IM A TAXI. NO, NO THEY ARE DISTRACTED, ACCIDENT okay shit” and some mumbles and a flip phone snap. Well I saw blue lights and then the cop car. It was there like magic. Drunk brain Safety magic. I saw the red street light and drunk brain decided; make scene get cops!!!! SOOO I started gagging like i was gonna throw up. I wanted the driver distracted. And i kind of did a throwup mouthful on the center console and on his baggy shirt. Which was a feat for me, from the right side of the back seat since i had to push my friends off me to do it. But I grabbed the door handle and lock and jiggled and tug but they wouldnt budge and it wouldnt open. I started screaming “ima throw up more, open this” and my friends were awakened and in a drunken stuper like "hold it its a short drive we are almost there” as they were passed out and had no clue of the two hour reroutes even after i woke em up. one brushed my spittle splash of throwup and started throwing up in the same spot and she had eaten and drank alot (the larger girl) now we were all gagging from the smell for real including the driver. The light we had sat at had turned green and we were about to pass the cops and he the taxi driver in english mumbled hed “charge us extra to clean it, an arm and a leg.” And he laughed I started banging on the window cus he wouldnt let me out and a cop was directing traffic around whatever accident. The cop who thankfully saw us beckoned us stop and got other cop attention. There were a few cop cars because whatever accident near the border i guess. It was the tijuana border as i saw an orange diamond sign that said that city name tijuana and border detour. And there was an accident with cops tending it. Under and underpass and driver was mumbling only road or whatever. So a cop stood in front of his car directing traffic where to go but had stopped us and one right next to the passenger side,directing traffic very slow, he was standing in traffic he was almost against my window on the passanger side, a cop showing people how to avoid accident rubble and the cars. I turned into an animal looked straight at the cop banged on the window with my almost dead phone and my hand, pried at the door knob and looked terrified in hopes he would stop this taxi. Luckily the cop in front and the cop on side somehow communicated and i heard tire spins. Not us. A fast acting cop pulled in front of him. They made him pull over into parking lot and I’m screaming get me out and my friends are like calm down we are drunk and police but i wanted out police were safer than whatever his phone conversation was about and an officer was talking to him and he “didnt speak english again and needed a translator” and i only know that cuz the cop said it would take a while to get a translator was he sure and that i needed to settle down. And the guy must have said hed wait but the cops were busy and discussing lettin him take us home… I wanted to get the cop mad so i said NOOOO. So now i started screaming “hes a kidnapper get a promotion get me out of here” and just going bonkers because we were covered in vomit the police had been trying to talk over me for a few minutes with this guy who “ didnt know english” and i said “he fucken knows enlish and speaks it!!!” And they said something like settle down we are busy that they didnt want to book me for being a silly drunk girl. Some pussy card bullshit. So i freaked and said “no no fuck it arrest me.” My friends were now angry and worried but i wanted safety even if my record was shit. I didnt want to be potatoes. So they again tried to calm me and said they were gonna let him go drop us off. So i left the door alone and started hitting him! I was hoping violent smacked would make the cops question our situation we were stuck in. I screamed i was violent and going to off him…drunk and illogical or not who cares. More cops had now circled the taxi to watch and more cop cars kind of circled us. and I started crying and my friends were now fading against the other door and crying too and judging me. and I kept slapping him in the head and he screamed in pure clean english “BITCH!!! YOU’RE DEAD. hit me one more time your dead. your dead.” Then everything went fast cops pulled guns and made him unlock us. I jumped out throwing my heels first. We got out and i hugged the cop that was originally next to my window he seemed scared of me. But i hugged the shit out of him and cried. My friends stood there awkward. He finally hugged me back and petted my hair. The cops decided to take us to the hotel and were gona have me/us file a report the next day but said it might not be needed because so many cops saw. I wasnt asked to write a statement or to show up anywhere. I was just asked to sign a mostly blank paper stating he was a kidnapper and had a long phone call i told them about. Also my friends signed a completely blank statement paper. We never saw tickets or charges on our names and we never even wrote our names aside from cursive sinage. I never heard from the cops but that guy was fighting the cops when we left His taxi. And the cops used a shock gun/tazer thing cuz he pushed someone and tried to run. And he was saying weird shit in english!! Which was funny because he had first made them think he needed a translator because he ‘knew’ no english. BUT we were safe!!!! My former coworkers were safe. To the cali taxi driver and your flip phone friend lets not meet ever ever again. https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/a07n8e/this_one_time_i_almost_got_kidnapped/

RD- Deadtale

Alright, here we go.

Before I started this blog, I had tried writing an Undertale AU, which I gradually grew disinterested in. This is all that I’ve written on it, and I don’t plan on reviving it in the future. Maybe, but most likely not. Expect a ton of grammatical/spelling errors, this isn’t even close to anything I’d consider good (not to mention that I wrote this a while ago. I’d like to think my writing has improved since then).

Also as an FYI, this has a ton of blood and gore in it.

I had to escape.

My legs hit the ground so hard I was surprised they didn’t break. It was getting harder and harder to breathe as the wind swept through my hair. The sky grew dark, and soft pellets of rain sprinkled down on my jacket. Lighting could be seen in the howling air, followed by distant thunder. I stumbled, but kept running. I heard the shouts behind me.

“Get back here, ya freak!”

I only pumped my arms and legs faster, desperate to escape my pursuers. I saw the metal fence that surrounded Mt. Ebott. A rusty sign that read ‘DO NOT ENTER’ had fallen to the ground and now rested at the base of the fence. I had heard the rumors that surrounded the mountain. Anyone that climbed it was said to disappear. Just three years ago, a kid had hiked up the mountain, trying to find a good camping spot. They never found his body, and the town eventually had a fence put in place to ward off stupid kids from entering.

I jumped onto the fence and started to climb over, hitting the ground running again when I reached the opposite side. Hopefully the dumb rumors would be enough to keep them away. I chanced a glance behind me, only to see the bullies start to climb over the fence themselves.

No such luck, then.

My breath grew shallow as I neared the base of the mountain and started to climb. I didn’t believe the rumors of this mountain, but I knew it was reckless to try to climb straight up, so I tried to climb to the side and around the mountain. What I had forgotten was that my pursuers were experienced in climbing, and could usually be seen occupying the rock climbing wall at the local mall. The gang of bullies were on me within seconds.

“Where ya goin’, ya weirdo?”

A fist connected with the side of my head. The force of the impact knocked me to the ground, where I inhaled dirt, dust and sand into my lungs. I started coughing as another fist slammed into my stomach.

“You really think you can call me names, forget your dues, try to snitch on me, and just get away with it?”

My mind swirled with the dust around me as a foot kicked me in the back. Yet another fist found my face, making a very disgusting sound as I felt my nose break. I tried to mumble a string of curse words before slurring “it wa mi mo-ny to be-in wif-”

“So the shrimp thinks -they’re- better than me, eh boys?” said Jason, the leader of a local group of bullies that loved beating up anyone that didn’t give them their lunch money. I was new to town, having moved in the middle of summer, and when Jason first presented me with his offer (“Give me your lunch money, new guy, or me and my friends here will have to show you how things get done here”), I sighed before politely telling him to act like a jerk somewhere else. While the school I had gone to had multiple of cases of bullying, most of it was verbal, so I was surprised when he pounded my face into the salad bar. When I told the principal, Jason was suspended from school. It had taken him and his cronies about ten seconds to find and corner me after school.

“You messed with the wrong guy, newbie,” Jason said, as another of his friends hit my knees as I tried to get up again. He pulled out a baseball bat from the gym bag he was carrying and smacked it against his palm. It amazed me that he was so fast even while carrying something as heavy as a gym bag. Jason spoke again, “Gotta show you as an example to the rest of the pipsqueaks. Don’t think that just cus’ you have your… disease, doesn't mean we won’t go easy on you.”

I’m surprised that’s the best he could come up with. One of the kids at my old school had called me asexual, and even that was more clever than ‘disease’.

He slammed the bat into my side. Pain erupted into me again as I finally couldn’t take it anymore and screamed in agony.

“Hey! I have an idea! Why don’t you say you’re sorry and pay me twice as much as you owe me, and then maybe i’ll think about letting you go off on your merry way,” he laughed, while hitting me in the legs. I fell down again, only to be picked up by Jason’s friends, who held me up while he beat me.

I panted as Jason stopped his assault for a minute. He yanked me by the hair so that he could look at my bloody face. He was smiling, and looked satisfied with his handiwork. At least, I think he was smiling. It was hard to tell with a swollen eye and red liquid running down my face.

“Say you’re sorry, you monster! Say you’re sorry for being born a freak of nature” he shouted into my face.

I looked him dead in the eyes before saying my famous last words, “I’m sorry that you’re such a jacka-”

Jason hit me so hard that I actually heard my jaw crack. I looked at his face, which now sported a (seemingly) look of pure rage. Again and again and again he hit me. Blood poured out of my mouth as my ribs broke and shoved into my sides. His cronies now looked concerned.

“Hey man, you’re gonna kill them! I don’t want to deal with the cops!” one of them said.

But it was too late. With one final blow Jason’s bat collided with the side of my head. More blood dripped out from my face, forming puddles on the ground. Something was… off. I felt like I couldn’t think as straight as I used to, and the world seemed to make less sense. My left eye started blinking like crazy, though I wasn’t sure why. Jason’s buddies let me go, and I collapsed on my stomach to the ground, my line of vision becoming blocked. Wait… Jason? That was the bully’s name, right? It was hard to remember…

“Dude, I think you just gave them some major brain damage! Look at their eye!” said a voice.

“G-good! I sure taught it a lesson!” said Jason, his voice slightly quivering.

“I think they’re dying guys! I don't want to go to jail!” said another voice. It sounded frightened… why was he frightened? Was I the one dying? I did feel a numb sort of pain…

“We aren’t going to jail you wuss!” shouted Jason. A pause. “We just need to get rid of the body.”

What? But I was still alive. I tried to say something, but my brain wouldn’t let me form the words.

“What?,” said the second voice, echoing my thoughts, “but where are we gonna take them?”

Another pause. I tried looking up, but my body wouldn’t let me. The only thing I could move or feel was my right hand, which I moved back and forth, trying to… well, I’m not sure what exactly, but trying to do something, at the very least. Now Jason and his two friends spoke up in unison.

“Mt. Ebott,” they said.

Mt. Ebott? Wasn’t that where I was right now? Or was I somewhere else? No, I remember now. This is where I was when Jason was-

Trying to kill me?

But why would Jason do something like that? I had never hurt him, had I? Why would he want to-

Ow. My brain hurt from all these questions.

I could feel my body being lifted up, and my eyesight returned as well. I looked up at the one carrying me. He looked startled when my gaze met his. It was then that I noticed that the lightning wasn’t as loud anymore, even though it had started pouring. I tried asking the guy carrying me a question, but my mouth wouldn’t move. We were climbing higher up the increasingly hazy mountain now. The rain grew quiet. “Am I dying?” I thought, “It’s not so bad, dying. Kinda peaceful…”

Suddenly, rain stopped falling from the sky. It became a lot darker. Were we in a house? No, a cave?

“In here,” I heard Jason whisper. Shout? When I looked at him, it looked like he was shouting, but I could hardly hear what he said. Strange.

“There’s a hole,” whispered (shouted?) his friend.

“Drop them in.”

I felt the arms lifting me disappear. Wind pelted my bruised face. Was I falling? It felt nice.

My body grew heavy. Was I going to hit the ground? Or was I falling into heaven? Can people fall into heaven? It seemed silly to ponder this thought, but then again, I had never given it much thought before. Maybe-

And a sudden sweeping pain crashed through my spine. My mouth clanged open, my eyelid stopped twitching, and I’m pretty sure I wet myself.

And what was strangest of all was that, even with both my eyelids still open, everything went dark.

?

…

…?

I…?

. . .

Wasn’t…?

I…

…

Wasn’t I… dead?

The world was dark, and void of all feeling. It was strange to think that I was not dead. Maybe I was. I couldn’t see anything, at any rate.

Memories flooded back into my mind of what had happened. Jason and his cronies had tossed me in here, like I wasn’t even worth saving. And beat me enough that I-

Well, I wasn’t in my right mind.

But the thing was that when I wasn’t… right in the head..., I didn’t really remember how I had suffered brain damage, nor did I really care. But I could now, which meant…?

Maybe my long fall shoved my brain back into place.

Sunlight slowly drifted into the top of the cavern. I could see things a little more clearly now. I sat up to see if I was still bleeding.

The good news was that I was not bleeding. The bad news was that all the blood that was in my body now soaked the crumpled flower bed I had landed on. I realized that I must have been lying in this spot for a really long time, because my body had begun rotting. My left foot was nothing more than bones, and bits of my body showed muscles and more bones here and there. The first thought that entered my head was that I was now a zombie, except that I had no desire to eat brains. That fact that I looked this way startled me, but I couldn’t muster the strength to show it on my face. It was a lot harder now to display facial expressions, and I tried to force myself to frown, with little result. I slowly made the effort to stand up. My body didn’t really want to follow my commands, and every time I moved it made rather disgusting sounds.

Finally, I stood upright. My leg resisted my orders the most; If I could walk, it would be with a limp. I looked around until I spotted a doorway on the far side of the cavern.

Odd.

I gradually shuffled toward the archway, and went inside. A small yellow flower was planted alone in the middle of the room, and another doorway stood on the opposite side from me. I tried staggering to the other side, but a annoyingly high-pitched voice interrupted my stride as soon as I walked into the chamber.

“Howdy! I’m-” the voice stopped abruptly.

I lazily moved my head around, trying to find the source of the voice. I heard a soft cough.

“Down here.”

I looked down at the flower, which with a grinning face looked back up at me, like it was normal for flowers to have faces and talk to undead people.

“Golly! You sure took me by surprise. I haven’t seen you around before. My name’s Flowey, Flowey the flower,” it said. Its voice was really bugging me. “You’re new to the underground aren’tcha?” he continued, “You must be so confused. Someone ought to teach you how things work around here. Guess little old me will have to do!” He winked at me as if we were long time friends.

I didn’t understand what was going on, but I didn’t have the patience for it. I tried to say something as I started to hobble away, but the only sound that came out of me was air flowing out of a hole in my throat. I felt around the area. Whether I was alive or not, I couldn’t speak, that much I was sure of.

“Hey, wait! You’re being a little rude. I’m trying to help you!” Flowey said, a little edge in his voice now. I turned around to look at him when the most peculiar thing happened. A force unknown to me yanked a small, light green heart out of my decaying body. It looked like one of those cartoon hearts that everyone uses, not the real deal. It had a large crack running down the middle of it, like it was about to shatter into a thousand pieces. I looked at it with mild interest, though on the inside I was rather confused.

“This is your soul, the very culmination of your being!” said Flowey cheerfully. For a split second, it had almost looked like Flowey was surprised when my... ‘soul’ came out. But he resumed his cheery facade almost a moment later. Whatever a soul was supposed to look like, mine didn’t look like it.

“Your soul starts off weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV,” Flowey continued, “What’s LV stand for? Why, LOVE, of course!”

Somehow I doubted that.

“You want some LOVE, don’t you? Don’t worry, I’ll share some with you!” he winked again.

At this point I was making some effort to escape, as I didn’t really trust anything this flower said. Every time I attempted to move, however, my soul moved instead. Flowey stopped talking for a few moments to look at my futile attempts to escape.

“You don’t trust a word I say, do you?” he asked, a little less cheery than before, but enough for me to know that he was genuinely happy. I shook my head, still trying to move. “Wow,” he said, his tone dropping dramatically into a normal pitched voice, much to my relief, “Finally. A smart one.”

Suddenly, small white pellets appeared out of the musty air and formed a circle around my soul. They rotated in place, spinning multiple times per second.

“Down here, we share our LOVE with little white pellets. I like to call them ‘friendliness pellets’,” Flowey continued, who was not even attempting to speak in his shrilly high-pitched voice anymore, “Here, have some.”

The white pellets suddenly closed in around my light green heart. They all touched my soul at the same time. Just as they did, pain erupted through my body. Rather, it wasn’t painful, but more surprising, as while I couldn’t seem to feel anything, whether the wind or the ground beneath my feet, I could feel this.

My heart exploded into fragments, and I crumpled to the ground. I was dying now. He was trying to kill me.

Thank goodness.

The last thing I heard before everything went dark was Flowey laughing.

“Not smart enough! In this world, it’s kill or BE killed!”

I woke up in a small bed of blood-stained flowers. Sunlight was just beginning to crack through the cave entrance above me.

Well, I wasn’t dead. That was the bad news. The worse news was that I was back to where I started.

The million dollar question: why?

I stood up again, making sure I wasn’t too hasty, as I didn’t want to fall over. I tried to think about what had just happened. Was I in a dream within a dream, or something? If I wasn’t dreaming, and I really was undead like this…

I wouldn’t mind dying, really.

I sighed. Or rather, I inhaled and blew out air through my throat. Time to see what was up.

I again entered through the doorway to see a large empty room. The only thing remarkable about the room was the small golden flower that lay smack dab in the middle of it. I looked at it for a moment, tilting my head a little. It looked back at me, smiling.

“Howdy!” Flowey said in his fake cheery voice once again, “I’m Flowey. Flowey the flower!”

Strange. He was saying the same things again. But then Flowey started laughing.

“Hee hee hee… Why’d you make me introduce myself? It’s rude to act like you don’t know who I am. Someone ought to teach you some proper manners. I guess little old me will have to do!” he winked again.

Flowey continued on with his speech about souls, but I wasn’t listening. I HAD died. But now… I was back. And Flowey seemed to realize that I had died too. Just what was going on? I was interrupted from my thoughts by Flowey shouting.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!”

Suddenly, I felt pressure throughout my body as the white pellets slammed into my heart once again. I fell to the ground. Maybe this time, I would die for good. Third time's the charm, right?

Flowey howled with laughter, “Haven’t I already told you? It’s kill or BE killed!”

I woke up in a small bed of blood-stained flowers.

Again.

Sunlight was just beginning to crack through the cave entrance above me.

Again.

Alright, then. Maybe fourth time's the charm.

I hobbled again toward the next room. Flowey waited again for me, not even trying to act like he didn’t know me now.

“Back again? Maybe you are an idiot after all,” he said, as my soul was pulled out of my broken body.

“Are you braindead? After all, you look the part.”

I was slightly losing track of how many times I had died. Seven? I learned one thing, at any rate.

This flower can’t kill me. Not for good, at least. It was frustrating, really. What was I going to do now? I couldn’t go back up to the surface looking like this. And Flowey certainly wasn’t going to let me by.

“Once more, then? Maybe try dodging this time.”

He wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t even tried to dodge his ‘friendliness pellets’, but instead stood still, or else moved toward them. I was almost shocked that the flower still wanted to kill me. Did I have something that it wanted?

It didn’t really matter. Flowey started to laugh again, but before he could pull out my soul, I plopped down on the stone floor, laying down and placing my hands behind my head. If I was just going to keep dying, than might as well just wait for my body to decompose. Perhaps not the best solution, but the only one I could think of right now.

“What are you doing?”

I looked up to see that Flowey was frowning. Perhaps he was getting tired of killing me. I shrugged and laid my head back on my hands.

“You’re just giving up that easily? You’re going to be dead for sure if you give up like that,” he said. He looked sad. Did he expect me to fight him? I just gave him a thumbs up and continued staring at the ceiling.

“You’re no fun. Besides, who WANTS to die? Normal people cling to their life while screaming in pain.” He said this last part like it was a fond memory.

This time I sat up and tried my very hardest to raise one of my eyebrows, succeeding. I gestured to my body, which had flies buzzing in and out of my large intestines.

“Well, I suppose you aren’t normal,” said Flowey, raising an eyebrow of his own.

In more ways than one Flowey. In more ways than one.

We stared at each other for a good long while in silence. It wasn’t a hostile stare, but more one of curiosity, one where you tried to find out more about the person just by staring at them. A few minutes passed before I started to look around the cavern. I spotted a stick on the ground in the corner. I got up and limped over to it. I knew that Flowey was staring at me. I picked up the stick. It was strong and sturdy; I could probably use it as a walking stick, which would help my limp. Sure enough, I used it to walk around a bit, and my walking speed seemed to go back to normal. I sat down on the ground and started to write words in a more sandy area of the cave.

Flowey appeared next to me to see what I was writing. I didn’t ask him how he did it. I don’t think anything could surprise me now.

“I want to die,” I wrote.

“Why?” Flowey asked.

I erased what I had written with my hand and wrote a response.

“Well, I’m already dead, aren’t I?”

“You ARE an idiot. Do I need to go over what your soul is again?”

I looked at Flowey. He sighed and shook his head, “Your soul is the very culmination of your being. Without it, you aren’t alive. Plain and simple.”

It was my turn to be angry. I wrote on the ground once more.

“Then why won’t I die?”

“How the heck am I supposed to know? Usually people who want to die, die. Unless you have some hidden reason for liv- oh. Hee hee hee. Maybe you just don’t want to die.” Flowey stopped suddenly and looked toward the opposite door; the one I still hadn’t been able to get through. He smiled.

“THIS should be interesting. Well, i’m off to do my own thing. Don’t forget what I said about LOVE!” he said, the last sentence in his annoyingly high-pitched voice. He winked, then disappeared into the ground. I barely had time to register where he could have gone before I heard a woman’s voice come from the door.

“Hmm… I could have sworn I heard something… Hello? Is anyone there?”

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

Footsteps echoed across the cavern as the woman's’ silhouette appeared in the doorway. I peered at her figure in the darkness, intrigued. There were other people besides me and Flowey down here? Then again, Flowey had said that ‘in this world, it’s kill or be killed’, which implied that other people lived in the mountain. But who would want to live in a mountain? The shadow of the woman looked in my direction. The woman was rather tall, and seemed to only just fit through the doorway.

“Oh? Have you fallen down, young one? Are you hurt?” she moved closer to me until I could see her clearly. She wasn’t human, but looked like a… well, a goat. Small horns jutted out of the fur on her head, and she wore a large blue dress, with a rather strange symbol displayed on the front. She gasped when she saw me. I wasn’t a pretty sight to behold, so this didn’t really offend me. I didn’t even know what my face looked like. Her eyes drifted to the last message I had written to Flowey, ‘Then why won’t I die?’

She stared at me for a long moment. I looked at her quizzingly. Were there others like her and Flowey living in the mountain? Perhaps that’s why they lived in a mountain? To stay away from humans? She spoke up.

“Does it… does it hurt?” I tilted my head, implying that I didn’t know what she meant.

“Your body… does it...?” she asked. I shook my head. The only time I could really feel anything was when Flowey shot my heart with his pellets. The woman looked back at my writing before looking at me again with a patient smile.

“Well… I think it’s time that we introduce ourselves. I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins. I pass through this place everyday to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first person to come here in a long time. Now, what is your name?”

I was startled at how kind she was toward me. Flowey had certainly made the impression on me that anyone down here wanted me dead- or worse. But this woman seemed to genuinely care about who I was. Unfortunately…

I pointed to my throat. Toriel gazed at me for a few seconds, before smiling and saying, “Yes, I mean you.”

I shook my head and pointed at my throat again. Toriel looked closer and saw the hole in my throat.

“Oh! I’m sorry. But… why don’t you just write it on the ground like you were before?”

Now I really did feel like an idiot. I’m pretty sure Flowey was laughing somewhere.

I erased my previous message and wrote a new one, “My name is Jordan.”

“Well,” Toriel smiled happily, “it is very nice to meet you, Jordan.” It was almost disturbing how nice she was.

“If you follow me, Jordan, I will guide you through the catacombs,” she continued. She proceeded to walk to the large doorway. I hurried as fast as my patch work body could and followed her. I finally entered through the doorway to see a large purple room, half of which was covered with red petals. Stairs led up to another door, making it seem like this room was the real entranceway to… wherever we were going. A small bright light shown below the second floor, in between the staircases. I looked at the light interestingly. I had never seen anything like it.

Toriel continued up the right-hand staircase and through the door. I took an extra moment to approach the light. It shone quite remarkably a few feet above the ground. I reached out my hand to touch it. A warm sensation flooded through my body, causing me to fling my hand back quickly. But it didn’t hurt. It was more like… that feeling you get when you're eating chocolate with your friend. Except amplify that about a hundred times, and you got the light.

I slowly reached out my hand again. The warm sensation… it felt really nice, now that I thought about it. I looked back at the red leaves that scattered the ground, the shadow of the ruins looming above. It was really cool looking. I had always loved the fall.

But then I realised that I was supposed to be following Toriel. I left the light with one last glance and stumbled up the staircase (it was harder to walk up steps) toward the door. Toriel was waiting for me in the next room.

The room had different tiles on the floor, six in total, and was completely purple, like the last one. It looked like the tiles activated something. A door on the other side of the room was closed.

“Welcome to your new home, Jordan,” she smiled, “Allow me to educate you in the operation of the Ruins.”

Toriel then stepped on certain tiles on the floor, before pressing a switch on the wall that I hadn’t noticed before. The door across the room opened up. Toriel turned back to me.

“The Ruins are full of puzzles. Ancient fusions between diversions and doorkeys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them; there are many more ahead.”

Ok.

Uh…

What?

Why the heck were there puzzles? Was there even a point to there being any? Seemed like a hassle if you were trying to get somewhere and just kept running into puzzles.

But whatever. The reasoning behind it didn’t really matter. Toriel walked into the next room. I was about to follow, when I saw an ancient looking sign engraved on the side of the wall. I couldn’t read it, as It appeared to be in another language. But the more I looked, the more the engravement made sense to me. Suddenly, the words made themselves as plain as day to me.

“Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road.”

That made less sense then when I couldn’t read it.

I disregarded the sign and hurried to follow Toriel. She waited in the next room patiently. Why was this woman so pleased to see me? Especially someone that looked like I did.

Toriel spoke again, “To make progress here, you will need to trigger several switches. Do not worry, I have labelled the ones you need to flip.”

Alright, I know that I was going on about there being no point in puzzles before, but… don’t label them! She practically sucked the joy out of the puzzle. I looked around the room. Three switches were on the wall, the room separated by two rivers. Spikes blocked the exitway. I crossed a bridge and approached one of the switches. Arrows pointed to the switch, and more words in the other language were written below it. I didn’t need to look at the words to know what they said.

I flipped the switch, then crossed another bridge to the other switches. Again, one switch had an arrow pointing to it, while another did not. I flipped the correct switch. A loud CLUNK was heard at the end of the room, and the pathway opened.

“Splendid!” Toriel clapped, “I am proud of you, young one.”

Really? It wasn’t hard with her labeling them like that. Did she think I was five?

I couldn’t really ask her though, and she had already moved to the next room, so I just nodded and proceeded on ahead. Nothing was spectacular about the next room, except for a dummy that sat near a wall.

“As a… Human… living in the Underground, monsters may try to attack you,” Toriel said, somewhat sadly.

Monsters have already attacked me. Didn’t seem to make much of a difference anyway. I always seemed to come back.

“You will need to be prepared for this situation. The process is simple. When you encounter a monster, y-”

But Toriel was interrupted by the sudden shrieks of the dummy, who, upon seeing me, had flown up and out of the room. Toriel looked at the spot where the dummy had been, dumbfounded. She looked at me with the same expression. Then she quickly composed herself and said, “The next room awaits.”

I followed Toriel to the next room, not really wanting to talk about what had just happened either. The next room seemed rather plain, with a hallway leading to the next room. However, when we went down the hallway, I saw that spikes adorned the floor. The two rivers from before seemed to connect with this room, and ran along the sides of the spikes. Toriel stopped at the spikes.

“This is the puzzle, but…,” Toriel stopped, looked at the puzzle, then looked back at me.

“Here, take my hand for a moment.”

But I was finally tired of Toriel’s constant worrying. I stepped past her and walked straight into the spikes, which fell beneath the floor before I even came close to them. I glanced back at Toriel and shrugged. She seemed startled for a moment, then smiled and said, “I’m sorry for worrying. You are not a child. I just wanted to make sure that nothing happened to you.”

I nodded. I appreciated her sentiment, but I wasn’t a kid. Besides, I don’t think these spikes could hurt me anyways.

I took another step forward. Spikes fell down again, and I renewed my walk across the platform. About halfway, I stopped glanced back at Toriel, and gave her a thumbs up.

But Toriel looked utterly shocked. I lowered my hand down and tilted my head to the side.  What was with her? I noticed that my movements were slightly constricted.

I inspected the platform I was standing on. Spikes were cutting through my feet, creating holes in the bones and muscles that were sticking out of dead layers of skin. But it didn’t hurt.

As an experiment, I passed my hand through one of the spikes. It went straight into the spike, creating another orifice in my hand. I pulled my hand out of it. I squeezed my hand. I still didn’t feel anything.

I resumed my walk through the spikes. I reached the other side and gave another thumbs up. I also again attempted to smile, but whether or not I pulled it off, I don’t know. Toriel was shakingly making her way through the spikes, going in different directions than I did, so that the spikes wouldn’t hurt her.

“Please… do not scare me like that, young one,” she said.

Well, I still solved the puzzle. That was a win in my book.

It was now time for the next room. A very long hallway ran to a small column (or perhaps it was just small from this distance), with a doorway leading to another area of the Ruins. We walked the length of the hallway, me guiding my stick along the ground so I wouldn’t fall. Toriel stopped suddenly at the end of the hallway, so suddenly that I would have bumped into her if my body had responded better to my commands. She turned to me.

“I must… attend to some business. I will need you to walk the rest of the length of the Ruins for yourself. Although, you’ve seemed to prove that you can take care of yourself just fine,” smiled Toriel.

But… she was really the only person I knew in this place. I kinda wanted the company too. But Toriel’s face lit up suddenly.

“I have an idea! I will give you a cell phone!” she extremely pleased with herself, “If you have need for anything, you can just call.” she handed me an old and beaten cell phone. I looked at it with wonder. I had never had a cell phone before. Even getting a fairly ancient one was surprising to me.

“Be good, alright Jordan?” And she was gone.

I stared at the spot where she had been moments before. I hope that I could see her again. She was probably the second nicest person I’ve ever met...

I decided to mess around with the cell phone later. For right now, I wanted to attempt some more puzzles.

The next room reminded me of the first. Red petals lay across the floor, in squares and patches. Not only that, but a familiar glow was shining directly in front of me. I slowly walked up to it. It looked like the previous one, floating in midair and giving a light all on its own. I reached out my hand to touch it, and the same tingly feeling ran through my arms into my bones, giving me a warm sensation. I looked down at the cell phone Toriel had given me. I really loved the kindness that she had been showing me; it was so rare.

I stepped away from the light and looked around. There were two other exits to the room, one up a bit from where I had entered, and another to the right. I heard a small noise and noticed what looked like a frog huddled in the corner of the room, near where I had entered. I tried getting closer to it, but it huddled against the wall in what was unmistakable fright. I stopped moving and took a deliberate step backward. The frog raised it’s head a fraction of an inch. I took another step back, then a step forward. Now the frog was confused. I walked toward the frog again, but the frog had had enough of my shenanigans and hopped away quickly.

But before it hopped away, I noticed the eyes on its stomach blink rapidly. It was a monster, just like Toriel and Flowey. It wasn’t a frog- whatever it was. A… Froggit. Heh. That’s a good name for it.

I decided to head up into the next room. It was a dead end, housing a small bowl of candy. The two rivers I had seen before in previous rooms seemed to connect to this one as well. Vines covered the crumbling walls. I looked at the bowl of candy. More strange symbols were written on a piece of paper next to the bowl, but before I could even ponder what the words meant, it again made itself clear as day to me.

“Take one.”

I was still unsure of how I could read this strange language. Maybe it was magic or something. It would make sense, with all this talk of souls and monsters and such.

I turned my attention back to the bowl. I wasn’t hungry, but I was never one to pass down the opportunity of free candy. I took a piece and put it in my pocket for safekeeping.

I turned back into the hall and started to head down to the right of where I had entered (though not without touching the strange yellow light again first). The next room housed a puzzle that was incredibly easy. Cracks extended through the floor, blocking the path forward. I knew I couldn’t jump it, not with my leg. So I strode onto the cracks, hoping they wouldn’t break.

They did.

I fell a few feet onto more red petals. While it didn’t hurt, my biggest concern was that nothing was broken. I brushed myself off, and, after seeing that nothing was more broken than it already was, continued onward. A door was in the room I had fallen into, which lead back up to the other side of the cracks in the ground. I went into the next room.

Just as I was entering the room, my cell phone rang. I pulled it out and answered it.

“Hello,” said a voice on the other side, “This is Toriel.”

It was only then that I remembered I couldn’t talk.

“For no reason in particular… which do you prefer? Cinnamon or butterscotch?” Toriel continued.

How was I going to answer? The phone had no texting on it, so I couldn’t write a message. Toriel noticed my silence.

“Oh dear… I must have forgotten when I gave you the phone. You can’t answer…”

I felt kind of bad, but it wasn’t like I could do anything anyways. I waited for Toriel’s next response.

“Well, I suppose I will ask later. See you soon!” Toriel hung up.

I guess I should have remembered that I couldn’t answer the phone. Why was Toriel so interested in my liking of cinnamon or butterscotch? I didn’t even know if I could eat, or needed to.

But it was time to continue my journey. The next puzzle was another easy one. I simply had to push a rock onto a pressure plate. The puzzle following had cracks that now covered the entire floor. I stepped on one, falling into the basement. Petals covered the area, in a specific shape. After looking at a sign for help, and a few more missteps and drops, I was finally able to get to the other side of the puzzle.

A table stood a little ways away from the puzzle, with a piece of cheese lying on it. Maybe now I could see if I could eat.

I tried taking the cheese off the table, but it appeared to be stuck. I crossed my arms for a second, thinking, but unfortunately this movement caused a rather unfortunate and creepy squelching sound. I grabbed the cheese with both hands now, and tried to pry it off. After a few seconds of pulling, a sharp ripping sound filled the room and I was thrown back. I sat back up and looked at the table. My arm had detached from my body, with my hand still grasping the cheese. I stood up and looked at my arm curiously. Then, cautiously, I separated my arm from the cheese with my good hand and forced it back into my arm socket. I heard a sort of clicking sound. I let go of my arm and moved it around slightly. Some more awful squishing sounds were released, but other than that, my arm seemed to work perfectly.

There was no doubt in my mind that I was, basically, a zombie now.

I decided to ignore the cheese for now and continue onwards. I walked about 5 feet before I ran into a semi-transparent white blockade. The blockade appeared to be crying. Before I could try to find a way around it, it turned towards me.

The ‘blockade’ was apparently a slightly depressed ghost, sporting a pair of headphones on its head. It followed the same pattern that most of the other monsters took upon seeing me; it grew wide eyed and fearful. Suddenly, it started crying even more. I just stood in front of him, not entirely sure what to do. I stood still for a moment before

Toriel and Flowey belong to Toby Fox.

1st, I am beyond excited and grateful that you took the time to write all this!! I asked for a rant, Amy, you delivered. 2nd, /I/ should apologize because my reply's probs gonna be long. (Half an ask already. Ugh, I'm hopeless, and you extremely polite.) I'd seen Fitz said Deke's the worst to be their grandson, but not that he persisted! GO, FITZ!! Didn't Iain use to say back in S1 that he didn't want FS to happen? I loved him for it, esp when Liz can't seem to do anything other than wax (1/9)

the rest go under the cut because it’s a lot of asks XD

poetic about FS. (Whyyy, Liz?? Seriously, does she talk about anything other than FS?) LBR though, Fitz is #relatable here. I’ve watched 3 S5 eps and seen many spoilers, and Deke’s 95% a dick, right?? I think TPTB might’ve been going for that particular FS brand of determined, unapologetic, do-what’s-necessary but their compassion and drive to protect were always evident even in their “harsher/colder” actions/attitudes/treatments. (I’m missing the right words but you know, right??) /But/ (2/9)

they missed the mark by 100 miles. Anyway. Frankly, Amy, Jemma fighting viciously Fitz’s pessimism and fatalism, esp by putting forth a positive twist on fatalism (for lack of a better word) has rubbed me so wrong for so long. It’s not necessarily ooc?? But it’s also not Jemma in a right mental and emotional state?? (You’re getting a terrible description of what I mean but I’m no good for anything else right now.) Like she’s broken, resigned, fighting for some thing that just happened, (3/9)

that she didn’t consciously choose, it was forced on her through guilt of her own and of others’ making, and through others pushing for it, and she’s sort of accepted it, it’s just part of her life now, vaguely, automatically placed under the “good stuff” category, and everything around her is in chaos, so she just fights for /it/? I don’t know. There’s a difference between “the universe says we’re gonna be together, look at the signs!!” and “we want to be together and we’ll work for it”. (4/9)

About the logic fail, Jemma probs grabbed onto that “my mom told me the ‘right direction’ thing which her mom had told her”, ergo she raised her some, and coupled with the need to make Fitz feel better and the talk with yet another always unhelpful team member (😒), she just went for that stupid line. Does that make it not ooc? Well, /no/. *makes a paper plane out of your last 3 bullet points and shoots it @ TPTB, yelling “TAKE NOTES!”* Amy, in the AOS house we don’t perform surgery to the (5/9)

tune of melodies that calm and steady and help us concentrate. In the AOS house, we perform surgery while conversing on things that test our ability to hold back tears and shouts and shaking and violence, because we’re hardcore. So, the dog thing. @ Hydra WTF??!!?! Yeah, I’m glad I missed that. And OK, can someone finally confirm if Ward shot Buddy??!! It’s getting ridiculous. I say probs nah, because John used to prod him too often for not being cruel enough, but… I don’t know. Also, (6/9)

I’m so glad Ward didn’t attend Hydra’s School for Young Octopi!! I mean, everything does point to that!! :D Teen!Ward busted out at 17 and dumped in the woods, switching to Brett!Ward still in the woods, John alluding to Ward shooting Buddy and finally leaving the woods as the end of his training and immediate beginning of his SHIELD career… If he attended any Academy, that was SHIELD Ops. It’s canon! New Ward backstory! I LOVE IT!! OK, because Hydra has that elitist vibe, I’m imagining (7/9)

more of a posh-secret-club-inside-the-academy kind of thing?? You know, like the actual Piggate scandal with the UK PM, and there’s many a movie too that show secret societies inside colleges etc, whose members are wealthy kids of old families, and their fathers were members before them, and their grandfathers, and they have weird, twisted rituals. You know the kind. Malick, his daughter and the council of people they had brought to meet Hive, they remind me of that. Anyway, I’m still not (8/9)

forgiving Ruby for what she did to Elena, but the dog thing and the Hydra-engineered super-baby thing are something…?? I’d have to watch S5 to pass judgement and LOL NO, I ain’t about to do that. I thiiink I’m done. Man, I hope that was some damn good strawberry shortcake. I’m gonna need all the favor I can get. 😇 ❤❤❤❤ Also, what’s a strawberry shortcake and why are people discriminating against its physique??? Ah, and why do you use that squiggly line (~) at the end of some words??? (9/9)

Okay! Here we go! XD

First off, I…..go back and forth on Liz’s support of fs. On the one hand, it’s silly to hold it against her; it’s not like attacking her own storyline would be a smart move, either with fans (who for some reason overwhelmingly support it) or with Jed&Mo (who, after all, have made clear that they based fs’ relationship off their own). Sure, Iain got away with it, but look at the way the show treats Fitz vs. Jemma……he’s clearly the favorite. *side eyes aos* Plus, fs being together gets her more scenes with more people (gotta have everyone reminding her how destined~ she and Fitz are after all!!), so it’s understandable she’d like it.

That said….HOW CAN SHE NOT SEE HOW TERRIBLE IT IS? I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

And we could talk about that all day so…moving on!

Deke started out as the harsh/cold/doing what’s necessary to survive in a terrible environment character (he SOLD DAISY TO KASIUS because he was afraid her search for Jemma would endanger the rest of them), but the show kind of….dropped that? And tried to switch him to the lovable moron instead? It’s weird.

As for Jemma’s optimism……I guess I can’t totally blame her. Like, she does love Fitz, that’s clear enough. I personally don’t think she’d have gotten there if she hadn’t been constantly pushed towards him, or if he hadn’t made a big deal of “I can’t be just friends,” therefore forcing her to choose between a romantic relationship with her best friend or NOTHING AT ALL of him, but. Whatever.

My point was, she loves him. And he is CONSTANTLY going on about how they’re cursed and they’re never gonna work out and how ‘doesn’t sound great for the girlfriend’ and ‘I don’t deserve you’ and blah blah negativity. And it is just super not fair to her that she has to forever fight this attitude of his and try to keep him positive about THEIR RELATIONSHIP, something he should be excited and positive about ON HIS OWN. Ugh.

So from that perspective, I guess I can see why she’d cling to this, as evidence~ they’re not doomed and they’re gonna be okay. Good point, nonnie!

And another good point: I’d forgotten about the daughter saying that her mom had said the steps in the right direction stuff! to her That makes Jemma’s logic fail a little less egregious, I feel better now.

Oh, right, silly me. Of course aos is way too hardcore to want to focus on the situation at hand when surgery is underway!

I think the show kinda confirmed that it was Grant who shot Buddy? In 2x21 when Bobbi was trying to talk Kara out of the whole….torture thing that was about to happen, she tried to convince her that Grant was grooming her and that he probably started small and probably was started small himself, and Kara was like “yeah, Garrett made him shoot his dog.” So that probably counts as confirmation.

(But I am all about #denial so I choose to ignore it. Alternate explanation: Garrett was the one who did it but Grant wanted to use the story to connect to Kara, so he was creative with the truth. See? It still works!)

And yep! Garrett said, when he finally got Grant from the woods, that he’d gotten him into the ops academy! Which admittedly was four whole seasons before this mess and probably they didn’t know yet they were gonna give Hydra its own Academy, but why would Garrett make Grant do the dog test in the woods if he was about to go to Hydra and have to do it all over again? Doesn’t make sense! So yes, definitely Grant went to SHIELD Academy.

As for the “posh” sense you get of Hydra, nonnie, you are SO NOT WRONG. Hydra’s Academy was seriously SO prep school vibes, I can’t even fully describe it. They had UNIFORMS, nonnie! Suit and tie uniforms with HYDRA LOGOS on the breast pocket!!!! It was…….ridiculous. Ri. di. cu. lous.

And right? TOTALLY NOT COOL that Ruby cut off Elena’s arms, but I have some sympathy for her now. Some.

And thank you for asking, the strawberry shortcake was DELICIOUS! And it’s not discrimination (XD; I literally lol’d, nonnie, thanks for that)—strawberry shortcake is a dessert with sliced, sugared strawberries, whipped cream, and a kind of cake that’s called “shortcake” because of its crumbly, sometimes crispy texture. It is THE BEST and I’m so sad it doesn’t exist in your life. I’m sorry, nonnie.

ETA: sometimes people use spongecake instead of shortcake when making strawberry shortcake. these people are wrong and should not be trusted.

As for the squiggly line, it’s hard to explain! 

Sometimes, I use it to add a note of sarcasm or mocking. Since tone is hard to convey online, it helps me get my meaning across (and feels necessarily mean, in such statements as “Jemma and Fitz are destined~”)!

Other times, it’s more…..hm…..like a gesture, maybe? Like in my rant I wrote “the glory of Hive~” and the sguiggly was meant to convey a kind of handwave, like “the glory of Hive and all that stuff the Hive-worshiping parts of Hydra would concern themselves with.” Does that make sense?

I don’t know, it’s kind of like the tumblr habit of randomly capitalizing words in the middle of a sentence, you know? Sometimes it’s for emphasis, sometimes it’s for sarcasm, sometimes it’s just because it feels right. I hope that makes at least a little sense. XD

Thanks very much for the conversation, nonnie! Sorry it was such a struggle getting your thoughts to me!