now hang on a moment let's hear more about Ichigo meet the knb crew asgdsfaha
Now you've truly done it. This is all your fault.
1) Logic dictates that the schools Karakura High would most likely play against are Touou, Seirin, and Shuutoku since they're all in the Tokyo district.
2) It is a canon fact that Ichigo is good at sports, giving us major It Girl vibes, but he did play with the basketball club in particular on contract for an unspecified period somewhere around the time the Winter Cup ended.
3) In the FB arc, Ichigo seems utterly disinterested in the sports themselves; his true goal is to play for the club that pays him the most money. While Ichigo is an endearing and loveable protagonist in our verse, the Law of Sports Anime dictates that this would actually make him an antagonist in their verse. The idea that anyone would play basketball without loving it would definitely not sit right with the Basketball Boys, though I only see Kuroko and Kagami being willing to do something about it. Can you imagine? Seirin vs Karakura, but Kuroko keeps trying to get Ichigo to see the appeal of basketball while Ichigo is distracted by the possibility that he can see ghosts again (because he thinks Kuroko is a ghost).
Funnier still: Shuutoku vs Karakura, where Midorima, who abides by astrology for his every life decision, encounters Ichigo, who loathes it. I think Ichigo would be determined to win on principle alone though I'm not sure how he would fare against the iconic Midorima/Takao partnership. I do desperately want Takao and Orihime to meet, though, because come on. MidoTaka 🤝 IchiHime supremacy (Gotta love the Sunshine x Grumps, right?)
Funniest of all: You know how Ichigo doesn't really care about fighting someone all that much unless they have a bone to pick with his friends? You know how Aomine's type of women is. Um. Yeah. I think it would be hilarious if Aomine decided to hit on Orihime, and Ichigo, ala that iconic scene with Shinji, decides to teach him a lesson through basketball (because let's be real: that's the only place you could ever teach Aomine anything). Ichigo does a brilliant job putting Aomine in his place in the first two quarters, and he thinks maybe this will make the guy apologize, but now Aomine is interested in him instead. Also, consequently: Aomine goes into the Zone.
Ichigo: What is 'the Zone?'
Aomine: *KnB-esque monologue that completely goes over Ichigo's head*
Orihime, helpfully (from the audience): I think it's Bankai for basketball players.
I don't think Karakura High has what it takes to make it far into the league, so the chances of them meeting Akashi and Murasakibara are pretty slim. Maybe if Ichigo put some effort in and tried to shape this team up to be the Number One in Japan. Alexa play 'Number One' (TYBW Version). Too bad he only cares about inconsequential things, like the fate of the universe, and the balance between life and death, and protecting people. Boooooo. Get real. #ballislife
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(they say bad things come in threes and i am one of them.
sometimes im the first thing.
we meet and youre bright eyed and eager; optimistic and ready to take on the world.
i take your hand and lead you on a wild adventure thats exciting, intoxicating, all-consuming--until its not.
until your fingernails are digging into my knuckles, holding on for dear life, wondering when this ride, that wasnt exactly what you dreamed of, would stop and you can get off.
if i am the first thing, you leave with your hair disheveled and bags under your eyes and in your hand--socks forgotten, left lying in the middle of my bedroom, in favor of getting the fuck out.
Spooked. Running far and fast to a new town that maybe isn't quite so haunted.
and i take a sick, twisted pride in knowing i made the first fracture on your otherwise unmarred heart (a round of applause). i am the corner of the wallpaper that turned up, the first sign of peeling, that made you begin to fall apart.
sometimes im the third thing.
we meet and youre broken down and burnt out, looking at me with my pretty lipstick smile, and the flowers in my hair thinking im a beacon of hope.
a lighthouse.
a saving grace.
the end of the string of bad luck.
instead, i turn you into a fool. into stone. into a page of my scrapbook, taping a piece of your heart inside an album only to never look at it again.
i leave you in ruins. historians wonder what happened, and ive taken all the letters out of your mouth that would spell out my name.
you've forgotten how to use vowels, and I've already forgotten what your face looked like.
but first, and third are better than the second.
because if im the second thing? you'll never see it coming.
hit you hard, hit you fast. love so strong it'll knock you out.
no mercy.
good luck.)
-hate to break it to you, darling, but it gets worse.
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Starting with the fact that
This city always hangs a little lonely on me, loose
/
Like a kid playing pretend in his father’s suit
Is genuinely the most evocative lyricism I’ve heard since… well. Maybe ever
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