#god that feels insane to write out
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cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)
#so I had this great watermelon last weekend. and the thing is it probably wasn't even that great of a watermelon#but I was four hours into an eight hour shift and we had thrown out all the watermelon salad because no one was eating it#and then our manager ran in and yelled that the client really fucking wanted watermelon salad.#so like six of us servers started frantically chopping watermelon. and the kitchen got really hot#in the way it does when everyone inside it is really stressed because there's no fucking watermelon salad#and after we chopped all the watermelon and the client got their fucking watermelon we all had a moment#where we looked at the remaining watermelon and we were so hot and cocktail hour was almost over anyway and the salads were all plated#and we all went for the watermelon and we ate it with the kind of rabid intensity you only get while eating cold watermelon in a hot kitche#and it was the best watermelon I have ever tasted and several days later i am still chasing the high of that fucking watermelon#and the thing is i know it isn't even the watermelon i'm actually missing#it's the feeling of cool liquid on hot skin and the feeling of a crisis averted and the feeling of camaraderie#that comes with devouring a watermelon in a hot kitchen with six other people who you have nothing in common with except that watermelon.#i don't dream of labor but i am dreaming now of being 4 hours into an eight hour shift eating watermelon in a hot kitchen.#i dream of laughing around the cold fruit in my mouth. I crave that watermelon like i'll die without it.#< honest to god this is real and that watermelon left such an impact on me that i had to draw it and write this. having a normal one#maybe this is insane but working in a team of people you truly like to do something you actually enjoy is so underrated#if only they fucking paid me i could work as a server for the rest of my life. unironically#skribbles
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I'm trying hard to not be too whiny ant certain stuff any the event that annoys me but I will say as a general rule of thumb if you're writing dialogue w arjuna alter and someone like karna about their relationship and you can sub out alter for the original arjuna and not need to edit the dialogue there to reflect that at all then you've missed the plot a bit. Arjuna alter may be a reflection of facets of Arjuna but he's still...different?
Like, he straight up has huge chunks of his life as a human missing from his memory, he doesn't HAVE the same relationships with the people from when he was alive like og arjuna does (including karna) because he can't remember it and even if the end of lb4 had it kick in a bit they do overall write him as being calmer about the rivalry and I feel like that should mean that his relationship with karna (and indeed, even how karna approaches him) should be handled differently. Karna's line for arjuna alter in the myroom indicates he thinks that alter is a possible threat and he's monitoring him in case there's an issue, yet his dialogue to alter in any given event is much more similar to his stance on og arjuna if a bit nicer even (ie 'our mother would have liked us getting along) and it's just..kind of frustrating they don't seem to try to delineate any difference between either arjuna and their relationships with the people they knew?
#my post#kind of incoherent but does anyone get what I mean? like w the you could swap them out and it would feel the same?#at least w how they write him w k in some spots idk#it's not in every part to be fair I notice it the most there#like no karn I'm sure the guy who ate hundreds of gods did not think any exploring office buildings#he was busy going insane and also forgot abt you
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Taylor returning over and over to the falling through the ice accident in the Bolter—everything to me
#like. just. the shock of it all#there’s something about Taylor where her experience of life is so ….. brutal#like I don’t know how else to say it but it just is. life is not easy on her it is always ready to CLOBBER her#and in a way she’s not easy on life. there’s some kind of magnets/opposite poles stuff where she’s just always drawn to the worst things#to feeling them and experiencing them and almost ??? creating them#like I don’t mean to overstate it. and I know she has a family who loves her (thank GOD)#and also she’s very practical and industrious about creating this very Instagram worthy life full of Fine Things and a Fun Time#and of course all the resources in the world at her disposal to create all the trappings of it#whether it’s a celebrity Fourth of July party or the eras tour#and she’ll do it and love it. but as all the best critics know and point out the most fascinating thing about Taylor is always the music#and it’s where all the weirdness and stubbornness and difficulties of her life. her a c t u a l longings her actual fears#her actual terrible awful experiences that she charges headlong down the paths of#is set free! and it’s breathtaking in the most shocking way#like falling through the ice! I always say the first thing that always hits me about a Taylor album is the bitterness#just this blast in the face. and her music is so gentle! in so many ways#and the packaging is so appealing and her voice is so soft and expressive and there is none of that weird experimentation#even musically (remember when she shut down imogen heap for putting a minor chord in clean she was like absolutely not. I’m obsessed)#(with that moment forever)#but like. so much of Taylor’s packaging and life and HER really does SEEM so basic or ordinary or just rich girl ordinary I guess#she likes basic things and wants basic things. but also she is so hungry so restless so angry so wounded the rich internal life is CHURNING#all the time. every second. and it’s spectacular to watch and also I will worry about her until the day I die#or just—-I don’t know. it’s going to be spectacular and it is sometimes going to be awful#but she will keep furiously writing her way through it!!#there IS such a woundedness to her. and it makes me love her so much because it’s packaged in such a way people think it must just be#whining or privilege. but it’s not! it’s just. the human condition and Taylor’s own flaws#okay I’ve lost the plot here a bit in my ramblings but yeah the ice metaphor. insanely perfect
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did you guys know that writing is the hardest thing in the world and you should never ever do it
#writing for a new fandom is literal hell to me#fic in general has always been difficult bc i find it hard to write characters who aren't mine and my standards are insane#give me an hour and i'll churn out 10 pages for my ocs but fic? no matter how clear an idea i have? Hell On Earth#ESPECIALLY if i haven't written for it before. oh my god.#i've been struggling to write bg3 for months now i feel insane#but i can't write for anything else because of the hyperfixation. help m
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if it’s gotten to the fucking point that the Ministry of Education has to announce that “the school year is cancelled” for part of Gaza because all its students have been murdered, humanity has failed, failed at everything— flat out, point blank, and unequivocally failed.
#I will not pretend that I’ve known the extent of the situation up until now#I feel I’ve been out of touch with true reality and have only now been catching up#and my heart and mind will never fully be able to comprehend why and how and WHY this is happening#but GOD these children#I once worked with Syrian youth who had come to Canada with their families#to hear their pain and listen to their cries— I still don’t sleep well at night. I hear them all the time.#now children are writing their names on their bodies so they can be IDENTIFIED.#humanity has failed; this is NOT humanity.#it’s just so insane and unbelievable and just simply UNFATHOMABLE that this is going on#LET ALONE FOR OVER 17 YEARS.#to hear my friends and coworkers cry over their lost friends and family members#to have to hold them for THIS REASON.#I have never been a praying person in my life but I am believing in any and every god for the people of Palestine.#I will not believe that choosing to pray does nothing.#because while those beautiful people keep praying I will keep praying.#and it’s not even corny to say that I’m praying for that bright break in the clouds#for the sun to shine upon them SOON AND QUICKLY.#for my friends and my coworkers and my neighbours who grieve and mourn but still pray for an end.#hugging and kissing and holding everyone very tightly from where I am. because I can do little else than I already am.#palestine#free palestine#free gaza#✦ nc vb.#cw murder
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It tugs, sometimes. Curious and foolish.
That traitorous heart mana of his, reaching out, drawing in, seeking connection in the way that's in their blood, their soul, their nature. Synchronicity.
Rei's not known it, before.
Where other demons might be attuned to family, Rei has no one to claim the spot. So, his heart mana sings, unblemished, its lonely little sonata, the song of his homeland. All there is to him, granted by air and earth and starlight.
He has so much to give, and yet, it isn't good enough. Discordant, they say. Human, they snarl, disgust evident in their tones.
Thus, growing up Rei learns to compose himself. Pushes himself to the brink in order to rewrite his heartbeat's melody. Puts himself out there, gets stronger, richer in experience, whenever he draws back. Over and over and over again.
Until one day, pushing himself past reason, he almost doesn't return.
But while he hasn't been looking, a new melody has taken residence by his side. Soft and steady high notes, barely perceptible.
Morofushi Hiromitsu, faded, yet giving himself so generously.
Rei hears him, takes him in and amplifies the notes he's given, until others may do so, too. Until Hiro may do it himself.
Their hearts mana, separate but inseparable, resonating in response.
And Rei's called back home.
.
Rye is low notes, a deep bass, slow and steady.
He could enrich their harmony, if only he wasn't so gratingly offbeat.
Rye's unrefined and ever-contradicting himself. Cold and uncaring, yet bleeding red like the rest of them. A long-ranged combatant, always too close. The smartest fool Rei ever has had the displeasure of meeting.
He takes Rei's heart mana greedily, gives it back tenfold.
Then he takes Scotch's, and their tentative song, not yet given voice, dissolves into dissonant whispers.
.
When they meet again, Rei doesn't want to feel Akai's heart mana for the longest time.
It's too painfully familiar, echoes of the past still trapped reverberating within. Misery-in-resonance almost dusts Rei.
It's his duty to be here, and so he stays, but there's others to preoccupy himself with.
So, he remains a careful distance away from Akai. Doesn't see the muted melancholy wrapped around him until it's too late, until Akai's almost gone dark and quiet.
When he heals Akai, he pours all of his heart mana into him. Their hearts still sing the same tune, after all these years, discordant notes and all.
.
The journey is too perilous to allow them senseless grudges. Their lives are one. If either falls, the story ends.
They rely on each other's mana like air, sharing desperate breaths like drowning men in a land that wants to drag them under.
What even is left of their individual songs? It doesn't matter, anymore. They've shared so much it really is one and the same, disjointed notes smoothed out through time and touch and trial, into an elegy for Scotch.
.
As they finally reach tentative harmony, they rip themselves apart.
.
There is dissonance in Demon Lord Furuya’s heart. A furious ache that even Hiro's return can't soothe.
But he has a duty, to his land and his people. He can't stop to rest. Besides, the one to replenish his heart mana, he who's grown so good at it over the years, has left, exiled by Rei's own hand.
Akai is a fool, but so is Rei.
He clings to the thrum of Akai's low warm notes, barely an echo within himself.
.
Da capo al coda, the cyclical rhythm of life remains the same.
Rei's still not good enough.
He's bested their best. He's saved the realms. And all that matters, in the end, is that they see his heart mana, and find it lacking.
But he's no longer the lonely manaspawn he once was. His song no longer just his own.
He's holding the position through skill and strategy, through force of personality. With the help of friends and allies gathered on his journey.
They'll have to listen to his tune, this time.
.
The key, of course, is an argument.
Their feverish crescendo crashes into mellow adagio - along with their lips.
Rei knows, then: if no one else accepted him, the boundless love in Akai's heart would be enough to supply his heart mana for as long as he lives.
It's exhilarating, to share every last bit of himself, to accept all of Shuuichi in turn. Synchronized in full, for now and as long as they live.
Pulsating, between them, the potential to compose a new melody, together. Point and counterpoint. Bright and warm and vibrant and home.
.
When he takes Akai's hand, leads him to the dancefloor, the festive joy of friends and family soaking the ambient mana with joyous ringing, it's enough to put pressure even on Rei's heart mana.
He can't help thinking that this should've been so much easier. But theirs has never been the easy way.
And it's not the conclusion, but the overture to their new life, together.
The waltz of their future, a thunderous symphony.
.
@floofiestboy's Demon King Furuya AkAm AU is giving me too many feelings. Go read it here.
#and may the gods have mercy on anyone standing in their way#if they are lucky they get to pick whether they want to be shot or fried#so. uh. floof I hope this is okay. because I have feelings about this AU. mana and hearts and their interchangability#if you couldn't tell#this is what possessed me at 5 a.m. this morning and I want it out#floof you are insane for this AU#they have to take in mana to survive#they're always shaped by their surroundings#and when that's not enough they have to depend on their connections#altering the receiver through said connection. potentially permanently. see exhibit A(kai)#as the connection becomes deeper their mana. their hearts output. literally flows more efficiently#the heart wants what it wants. literally in this universe#floof. floof I am shaking. you. me. it doesn't matter at this point#akam#iris writes things#long post#somehow I went from mana wavelengths to soul frequencies. I think. whoops#fic recs
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cora’s bad time hell simulation steps or how to play “sprite station for girl” “harvest moon ds cute” the wrong way
(all ways are wrong this game is Accursed)
ok so here’s what my disorganized “guide” to myself for harvest moon ds for girl (aka indecipherable notes i wrote to myself as i played and revised as i tested various things and restarted due to mistakes) looks like. at some point when i become a real gamer i will write a legible guide meant for eyes to look at but uhhh this is how i play this accursed game personally
i’m not sure if anything i wrote will make any sense since i wrote it as notes to myself so probably definitely use fogu and fc2 jonason wiki (may not work but some pages should be archived) instead
ALSO if you’ve never played or barely played the game it won’t make sense at all! hmds was my first harvest moon so i am used to various horrors!
my play style is probably not fun in general HOWEVER if you are a grinding hell goblin like me then it’s GREAT!!!! if not you may still find it amusing that the game gives you permission to play like this
(it’s a great background task game while doing like productive stuff but otherwise playing this way would probably be unbearable)
(image limit)
anyway after that the days go a lot faster, you’ll get the island on summer 1, so on spring 30 i put all my money into million G tickets and sell 200 of em, do the 5x money thing, and save the rest. so when thomas comes the next day to sell you the 900 million G island you can just sell 180 tickets and do the 5x money thing again with like ~600 million G tickets left over. it takes up inventory but you’ll get the shelf in a few days. basically you just need to remember to order from the TV shopping every saturday and place orders with gotz and gray whenever they finish stuff.
random tips
after unlocking the fuckass hot spring sprites (the ones that require you to spend a total of 700 1 hour sessions in the hot springs) i usually grind grazing points— if you put your animals outside for 5 hours you get a “Love Point”, but if you interact with them after they earn that LP then the timer switches over and you can get another LP after 5 more hours. if you wear the time ring the whole time it’s 2.5 hours. i’m not very good at explaining this but basically if you’re super efficient you can get way more animal LP than you realistically should, which is great because the touch glove petting minigame is Bad!!!!
i usually wait on getting the rest of the purple sprites (the ones that require you to hire the purple team and ask for healing) until i’m totally done with the indigo team, cuz i wanna get HG’s purple heart event asap, but you can switch the order if you want
by summer y1 you’ll basically have a feel for everything. aside from Skye, Leia, HG and WP everyone can be married early-mid autumn if you want
if you want to Gay (in the japanese version only) keira is the quickest to marry. leia is the quickest to max affection but it’s impossible to get leia year 1 because the bottle you need to fish up can only be caught in spring. you have to wait until at least year 5 for WP and iirc year 6 for HG.
#i’m really sorry i can’t make this more organized#if i literally ever have time i’ll just make a video guide instead of pasting this because it’s easier to explain with visuals….#i can’t Write in an organized way i can only Visual Medium#i have a very complicated relationship with corobuckle station for girl#it scratches my brain#(derogatory)#(positive)#i have no idea how many hours of HMDS i’ve played in my life but it’s definitely the game i’ve played the most of all time#i’ll just paraphrase something i read on a japanese wiki for hmds/koroste a long time ago:#’i once again feel that the effort required for the completion of the task is unreasonable’#god i really hope ds gets a remake so all of the titles you can get in the mailbox become steam achievements#bokumono#if people find out there are achievements that take at minimum real life decades to complete with basically no reward#gamers will lose their minds and society will collapse#‘trying to accomplish it is like trying to collect a sparrow’s tears#so at some point it may be inevitable that you have to give up trying’#i really think the devs saw the ds could handle higher values than gba and went insane without considering balance at all#currently i’m trying to record as many cutscenes as i can in the jp version since y’know. english translation is very awkward#i am also trying to see if the pastor carter/cardi marriage option exists in the english version of cute#i will update so stay tuned for that if you want sex on the phone with pastor cardi b. i guess
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i have never in my life eaten so well
#like i’ve spent my whole ass life fighting in the trenches for characters who got fucked over by shitty writing#and are constantly shat on and misunderstood and misperceivrd by widespread audiences bc of this#then jesse armstrong comes in and gives me s4 roman roy on a silver platter and i weep fucking tears of joy#like these past two eps have been insane for roman. god#really really hoping it stays like this#like even if things get bad in-world the show continues to treat him with this level of care and empathy#which they didn’t as much in early szns in particular. but each szn they flesh him out more and take him more srsly and god#it’s fucking insane to me like is this how the rest of y guys always feel whenever u like characters and get new content???#succession#roman roy
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look away guys im losing my marbles but everyday i wish mori wasnt such a weirdo bc it makes ppl completely unable to think abt anything else about him. like that fuckin pseudo paternal shit hes got going on w dazai??? makes me wanna eat rocks.
#bc 15zai finds him annoying but he doesnt Hate him. god that dynamic makes me go insane#it makes me sad they cut so much of the stupid phonecall dazai has w him when hes asking for the sheep to be released in the anime#bc in the ln its giving very much. stressed dad and his weirdo kid.#'oh you feel that hole of anxiety in your stomach lessening? yes im having a great day out. anyway release the hostages plssss😁'#anyway. theyre so youre exactly like me and those similarities will haunt you forever.#smth abt both of them being perfectly content to use whomever is available as collateral for the sake of strategy?#god i eat that shit up. poor aku tho bruh he needs to get outta there. how are u the first sacrifice piece for BOTH OF THEM.#mori bsd#'whos this someone i remind you of?' 'myself😁'#IM KILLING MYSELF.#sorry i got carried away in the tags again#i just. write abt them in tskatsby and then i think abt them all the time
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It's Here . Get The Fuck Ready
#violent sun#icarus prime#WE'RE REALLY IN IT NOW !!!!!!!!!#thank GOD this chapter is finished it'll probably be the heaviest out of all of them#which means i won't have to write anything worse for this fic again#dont get me wrong . act I climax is going to be 10x more insane than this chapter#but at least it won't make me feel Bad in my stomach like this one did#. Mostly
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bg3 is crazy for being a massive $70 larian + wotc collab game whose accessibility menu features subtitles that are present for less than half of all idle character dialogue and almost zero battle dialogue
#succ speaks#not to be the 'paizo wouldn't let this happen' guy but god this is actually insane#like why even have an accessibility menu at that point? i'd rather watch a youtube video with automatic captions#same energy as devs complaining that everyone was making their pcs a white human guy in early access while they had no asian human options#like bro i just want to know what bestie karlach is saying but if u make her mumble with no captions even tho i have subtitles on#tf am i supposed to do.....🤨😡😭💀#baldur's gate 3 is fun but this is pissing me off. like i'm prob not gonna keep playing this solo & only play online with friends#it's fun but. not fun enough to mimic the actual wacky bullshit i do with charisma rogues and bards in dnd or pf#i think i'm also used to having real humans around for ttrpg antics and dynamic character interactions so bg3 feels bland in comparison lol#also because irl i can ask people to repeat what they just said 🙃🙃🙃#joining the mob by accident was admittedly funnier in bg3 than it was in dnd though considering i stumbled into the base out of nowhere#i guess it just falls under ny philosophy that dnd is most fun when wotc has zero actual say in what happens and what we can do 👍#however as much as pf > dnd...bg3 > kingmaker. i think pathfinder is just to true of a ttrpg to adapt into a video game super well#like. the writing in wotr was WAY better than bg3 but still sometimes bad enough to be infuriating ESPECIALLY in regards to iomedae#but the weird ass iomedae stuff is also true in the adventure path itself and plenty of other people have complained about it#but hey at least in wotr the subtitles told me what she was saying every time she spoke 👍#wotr was still rly fun tho no hate to the game in general this is a quick slam of being pissed at bg3 again 🙏🙏
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struck with inspiration as if i dont have a lot of shit to do irl that's way more important,
#very much here like 👁👁#continuing the narrators time of making everything worse for everyone else#god i legit dont have time 2 sit down on this for a bit i really hope i dont lose it in that timespan#me: oh interesting character. put him in the psych ward with the narrator lets see what happens (probably inevitable nasty sex that makes#one or both feel permanently corrupted)#thats just the nature of the narrator as how i write him alright#idk they might not fuck. perhaps not at all. certainly it will not be the certain focus. however#ahahahahaha#two nickels#going INSANE i wanna write this so bad#maybe this will magically force productivity out of me
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sorry i haven't been writing a lot lately or reaching out to any of the messages i got, i've just been in a state of anxiety since like december lol and uni assignments breathing down my neck is also adding extra stress rn!! but these have to be done in two weeks so hopefully it will get better then! i'll try to get to the messages over the weekend though!
#everytime i try to sit down and write i am just not feeling it and i feel so bad#because my drafts are piling up and my inbox is filled with so much stuff as well... but my brain and body are just not complying with me#and that i've been dealing with a lot more anxiety attacks recently isn't really helping it either it just all sucks atm ugh#( OUT OF CHARACTER ) / * oh my god‚ she's insane .#anxiety /#anxiety cw /
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god. one thing i LOVE about amir that he has no self preservation. i was thinking abt the episode GIRLS. specifically the moment where the 2 girls at the bar say amir looks better but amir is like - “um no its obviously jake ur wrong” and jake agrees…
it got me thinking…. Thinking about how much amir is willing to take for himself vs how much hes willing to go for jake, yknow? like amir gets mad sometimes when he perceives an “insult” but its not bc hes defending himself as much as he is acting out. but amir actively DEFENDS jake when it comes to some traits he doesnt even TRY to defend in himself - his looks(girls as mentioned, and subtle comments like Swag where hes like “i only hang out with the hottest guys”)… how people address jake (like in Ice Breakers, Bitcoin, jake’s sick). there are exceptions to defending jake but to me those arent really about something like jake’s personality/looks that he cant change, and more a reaction about how he treats amir (trust fall 2) or jake acting like J-Witz for other ppl (some insecure jake eps, esp the recent ones)
And for the most part he plays along with Jake being the better one of the two. Ace and Jocelyn… hes the SIDEKICK. “You consider me dumb!” In normal conversation. Going along with being the Troll Named Rod in Tiny Wings. APOLOGIZING TO JAKE IN CORDUROY PANT. In Table Read where ALL his main characters ARE JAKE…!! Small things like that. He KNOWS and WILLINGLY ACCEPTS his role as being the guy who gets beat up and looks like shit to everyone else because who CARES about their opinions when ONLY jake’s matters??
in a weird way, he’s entirely selfless. amir doesnt do things for the benefit of himself. like yeah. he has murderous tendencies. he hurts people. but all of it is either for attention (mainly to be able to tell a story to Jake), random insane urges(<3), or a form of like??? overdoing stuff which self sabotages him????? Which he’s aware of vaguely????
its just… amir holds such little value on his own appearance, life, and wellbeing to the point where he just doesn’t consider he matters. him being hurt and betrayed is another tuesday. But he would defend jake no matter what. because jake doesnt DESERVE that. and whys that? its because amir LOVES him. because amir loves jake and that CLEARLY means he deserves everything. all his self love goes to jake. even if it hurts him in the long run or makes him look dumb. yknow. because whatever. who cares. EVERYTHING hurts anyways and whats another day hurting himself??? And that fucking makes me INSANE.
#mirmir#jamir#thoughts within thoughts#long post#HE MAKES ME FEEL THINGS .#god. i love amir so much as a character. hes so WERIDLY romantic and sweet even tho hes the#WUOTE UNQUOTE worst ever man ro ever man#HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#UGH#hes just so good i love character w no self preservation#sorry for writing an essay on mirmir i will do it again<3#you know im insane about a characrter when i start posting 2AM essays#i havent done this since grif and stan#this is a category 7 blorbo event.#laying awake at noght staring at the ceiling just thinking about how raw and unfiltered amirs love for jake is#its genuinely an unstoppable force of nature#like he CANNOT help it.#thats why i LOVE breakfast date. He just cannot contain himself st even the PROSPECT of eating next to jake#GOD. HES SOOOOO. FUCKKKKKJ )rips my hair out)#HES FOR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WERE ‘TOO MUCH’ BECAUSE THEIR EMOTIONS
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I wish people who write lotr fanfic didn’t inevitably end up writing low key constant emotional abuse to their blorbo.
#kicking a hornets nest here#but I’ll start reading something lighthearted and wonder I start feeling more and more uncomfortable the further in I get#the Peter jacksonification and what I suspect are culturally W.A.S.P ppl writing fic#without having read the books or. rely on period dramas for world building#idk it just ends up creating what feels like something deeply insidious masqarading as some teen fixit fic where everybody lives#and then I feel insane and overly sensitive for wanting half the shire Gandalf thranduil and 2/3ds the dwarves & bilbo to kill them selves#bc I cannot fathom how a any fuckjng says that b why would let someone say or do something like that to you#and then I realize it’s. it’s the same reylo#it’s the same 50 shades of grey mentality type stuff#I hate to assume anything about anyone’s identity over one fic. but be fr. either you genuinely believe this is normal or you’re writing#you’re writing it for plot reasons. and like. that’s how you advance the plot? I’d rather read dead dove at this point.#fuck it everyone dies.#talking tag#this is obv. a massive generalization. gods know I beat the hell out of my blorbos#but I am tired. the horse is dead and you’ve beaten it so much it’s glue and fish is toothpaste.
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.
#btw it should be studied the way i debated whether to grocery shop or to buy a taylor swift cd this week.#like. i want to like. shake myself. just writing it down i feel even more insane. oh my god.#i wanted a collector’s edition but imma wait for one of the other 21 she’s gonna put out lmao#rambles#god i hope you guys don’t judge me for that lmao#edit: of course i am not getting the cd. OF COURSE
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