Two booshy redraws, one from the mighty decider app promo (i suppose???) and another from a random pic with noel who has a bit of a totally spies vibe here ... idk

Pairing: Julian Barratt/Noel Fielding

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 4.5k

Summary: Noel hadn’t been expecting to fall into temptation when he’d stopped by the small church after class one afternoon. He'd been seeking inspiration for his art classes, not salvation, but he finds Father Julian Barratt, instead.An alternative first encounter of sorts.

The walls of the confessional are dark and close, the smell of frankincense permeating every surface. Noel kneels on the deep red carpet, worn thin and threadbare from the weight of countless penitents and the burden of their sins.

He clears his throat. “Bless me father, for I have sinned.”

Noel waits, knees aching against the floor which is hard and unyielding beneath the worn carpet, for the priest’s response.

Father Julian Barratt recognizes the voice instantly--it’s the young man with the blue eyes and trendy hair who has introduced himself as Noel and seeks Julian out after each sermon under the guise of spiritual guidance though his queries are more personal than ecumenical in nature. He asks more questions about Julian himself than he asks about Jesus. Had Julian met him in the before-times, when he was still a sinner, Julian has no doubt that he would have taken the boy to bed, that they would have lain together in lust as man and man are wont to do.

A forbidden thrill shivers up his spine. He knows that he should recuse himself, ask one of his fellow priests to take his place. He knows he will do no such thing.

“Tell me, my child,” Julian’s voice rasps against his throat. “Unburden yourself of your sins, and let God absolve you.”

He knows, as Noel must know, that there will be no such absolution.

Morning Pages #43 (22.03.2017)

Wednesday 22nd March - 7:43 p.m.

I know! It’s been ten days, I know. I really wish I would’ve written sooner but funnily enough I’ve been spending so long with Evan lately, I haven’t really had time to do anything aside from study and read and be with him. It’s been kind of fantastic! I stayed over at his for the first time on Tuesday night (the 14th) and then said goodbye to him on Wednesday night, went to school on Thursday and then saw him again on Thursday night. He came over and he stayed over, actually. We made plans to go to the beach, which we did on Friday afternoon. Friday night, we decided that I needed to go back to his place in Thornbury so I did, pretty much right after we were done at the beach. We had to go back to South Morang so I could get my things, because I would be back in Northcote by Sunday afternoon. So on Friday night, we had dinner with his parents and then he left for basketball, and I stayed back at his and did as much uni work as I could manage before he got back. Once he got back, we really just stayed up and talked, as we do, until we both fell asleep. We fell asleep quite late though, and ended up leaving his bedroom past noon, which was fine anyway because we had nothing planned for Saturday except a little more work on my end, and also we were going to go out that night for his friend Peaches’ nineteenth. We had pre-drinks on Evan’s balcony (a six-pack of Canadian Club and four Rekorderlig passionfruit ciders), ended up getting rather drunk and had the most refreshing conversation about the night that we met, which I will go into detail about after I finish this initial day-by-day summary. Wait, I should put this out in dot-points maybe.

+14th-15th March: I stayed over at his. We went to see Jasper Jones.

+16th-17th March: He stayed over at mine. We went to the beach. I went back to his.

+18th March: Peaches’ nineteenth celebrations, with some of his other basketball/high school friends. I wore my holey sweater out for the first time. We had pre-drinks on his balcony.

+19th March: Back to Northcote. We slept till 2 p.m., well he did. We stayed up after Peaches’ and spoke about our past relationships and about US. He was very honest with me and let me know that he wanted to be with me for a long time. He also teared up a bit at the idea of ever having to break up with me, or anybody else perhaps. He didn’t want to go through a break-up ever again. I don’t want to either, and for both our sake I hope we never do.

+20th March: I didn’t go to my journalism lecture so that we could stay up and talk. He came back that night because he was going to be hanging out with Mundell on the 21st.

+21st March: We had the bombest sex this night. He came over around a little past 9 p.m. on Monday night and we watched one episode of The Mighty Boosh before we called it a night, climbed into bed and ended up talking until past midnight. Then, past midnight, he asked me to teach him how to give me pleasure and it ended in me having what was actually one of the most drawn-out, anxious orgasms I’ve ever had, because I just wanted him to do so well and that ended up fucking it up for us. But I still came. And he was so hot, oh my god. At one point he whispered ‘come for me, baby’ in my ear and I just...honestly, I think him saying that sent me over the edge. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the way he said that, the timbre of his voice, his bowed head in the blue dark. I love his hands! (I just took a massive break to sing for a bit, because I also just happened to finish my script report for Advanced Screenwriting, my first major assessment of the semester...the next being my first story for Writing Journalism, which is due this Sunday and I am yet to receive feedback). Also, on this day, Evan was really tired when he woke up so I made him some chai tea and some porridge and cut up some watermelon for him and brought him what was essentially breakfast in bed. And in the evening - after uni had finished for me - he brought me dinner from Basecamp. Because he’s a sweetheart. Then I went home, and ended up driving back to Northcote with Malith, who left at like four in the morning after we had a very lengthy conversation about his date on Sunday.

+22nd March: Present day. Evan wasn’t supposed to see me today, but he passed his driving test and was ecstatic about finally getting his probationary licence. He initially came over, however, because BRUNO FELL OUT OF THE BEDROOM WINDOW and I saw it happen out of the corner of my eye, because I was doing homework at the time. It happened around noon today, and I ran downstairs to find him sitting in between some locked bicycles with blood on his nose. I brought him back upstairs, and then called Emily a couple of times but she didn’t answer. Then my first instinct was to call Evan and so I did, and he came over within ten or so minutes after driving his mum to Northcote Plaza and then running over from the plaza. He then helped me get Bruno into his carrier and we carried him all the way to the animal hospital and got home at around 2 p.m. after the vet looked at him and said he was pretty much totally fine. After falling out of a second storey window! THIS CAT IS NEARLY FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. He has a thyroid condition and a liver condition and he’s been hit by two cars and now he’s FALLEN OUT OF A SECOND STOREY WINDOW AND HE’S STILL ALIVE. What a survivor, ey.

Anyway, Evan was amazing today. He was so present, and just so easy-going and I just love him, I love him so much. I love him so much. I cooked up some mi goreng for us and we had lunch together before he left so that I could do my work. But he turned up again, just out of the blue around half past three in the afternoon with ‘The East of Eden Letters’ a book that I told him I’d been obsessed with since Year 12. Turns out that the day we went to the Hill of Content bookshop, like two weeks ago now, he looked the book up as soon as he got home and ordered it for me and it arrived yesterday, but he didn’t have the chance to go and get it for me. So he just decided to drop by with it today. I was speechless, I just hugged him for the longest time and told him I loved him because honestly at that point, I felt like I could’ve very easily have married him on the spot. I’m going to marry this boy. The past two months have actually been magical. After my sister met him, I told her that I was going to marry this boy.

Anyway, we’re up to date now. I wanted to talk about our drunken conversation. He said that as soon as he saw me, he knew that he wanted to dance with me and that his friends did have to nudge him a little bit but because he was drunk, it was a lot easier for him to just grab my hand and dance with me. I still can’t believe I found him. I’ve been so stupidly happy these past few weeks, pretty much since he told me he loved me on the 25th of February. Yesterday was the two month anniversary of our first date: the 21st. I need to talk about the conversation we had on his balcony though. And on our way home from the city after Peaches’ shindig at this club called ‘Anyway’ which was actually 100% inferior to Laundry. The music sucked ass, honestly, and there was no dancing room at all, it was far too packed.

We were talking about the night that we met, anyway, and he told me that he thinks he fell in love the second I rested my head on his shoulder when we were sitting side by side in the smoking room, after dancing for four or so hours. He said we were blessed too, that our first moments with each other were that of ‘pure joy’ because we were just dancing and feeling free and everything felt so easy for that reason. I feel like everything continues to feel so easy for that reason: we’re in perfect harmony. We always have been, and hopefully we always will be. I have faith that we always will be. Evan loves me so deeply and so honestly; he loves me in a way that I need and in a way that I always knew I’d be able to find, despite my impatience. But I’m so glad that I met him when I did, and he agrees. Because we met at the PERFECT time. We met exactly when we’d done just enough growing to be able to find each other, and now we can continue to grow together. He makes me feel like the only thing that matters in the world, I mean the way he speaks to me and speaks of me; the way he goes out of his way to be there for me, or to make sure that I’m okay. Sleeping next to him is a thrill in itself, and speaking to him - getting to know more and more about him, sharing ourselves with each other, it’s all been like a dream. We want to go camping soon, and we went for a drive today after he dropped off the book for me. And I gave him ‘How Green Was My Valley’ and ‘Skippy Dies’ for his dad Brian (Barney) to read, because he asked me for recommendations. I naturally recommended two of my favourite books of all time, and he gave me a book in turn titled ‘The Member of the Wedding’, which is rather short but I’m still having a bit of a hard time getting through it because I only just started ‘Treasure Island’ too and I was really keen to read that so ‘The Member of the Wedding’ has been like a spanner in the works for me. I’ve been using that phrase a lot lately. Anyway, I feel like I have a lot more to say about Evan but my mind isn’t willing to write that all out right now, and I’m just aiming to power through this last bit of the third page because it’s nearing ten o’clock and I wanted to be asleep by half past nine, because I have a class at nine o’clock in the morning tomorrow: Writing Journalism. I’m not prepared for it. I mean I am technically prepared for it, because my story is all done. But we were supposed to print out five copies of it or some ridiculous number like that, for the tutorials this week, and I can’t do that because I’m in Northcote, so I’m just going to make up an excuse and save some paper because honestly I do not really care about that class. I don’t like it already, and I know that I probably won’t go into journalism on a long term basis, maybe freelance but it won’t be my major profession.

It’s 10:17 p.m., I just got a bit distracted talking to my mum and also thinking about Evan. When Malith was over last night, I was telling him about this article I read a couple of days ago that was talking about what happens during the honeymoon stage of relationships. Your brain essentially gets bathed in dopamine and becomes useless, it’s like love is a drug and you slowly build up a tolerance to it, but the initial dose is so strong that it inspires dementia-like symptoms: inattention to detail, lack of focus, and impairments. I am really feeling that now, like I just keep thinking about Evan. To be fair, this is hardest and fastest I’ve ever fallen in love. This has hit me so hard, and I feel like it’s the same for him. No, it’s definitely the same for him. And it’s fine when I’m with him, in fact when I’m with him everything is good. Everything is amazing. But he’s not here right now and I miss him. I just want him to be here, lying next to me in the dark, so that when I open my eyes I can see him seeing me the way that he does. I feel so loved right now, I really do. He’s been making me feel so fucking loved. I hope I’ve done the same in whatever way I can, but honestly he’s amazing, I don’t know how I can compare. He’s so...perfect. Fuck.