Looks at the persona series......i need to salvage you so bad babygirl

Fuchsia Moon

A story within the Apathy’s Lore.  It takes place few weeks after the events described in A Snapdragon. I advise reading Apathy first because without it this story may not make sense at all.

Inspired by the prompt @xxxbladeangelxxx sent me: /you helped me. And now I will help you/

word count: 1.9k

AO3 link

Apathy had grown to be a creature of the night. The darkness of the sky, the tranquility of people’s dream lingering in the air, the shy glimmer of the stars above his head…. It all made him feel safe and peaceful. Every edge of him seemed to be much more delicate and harmless in the nighttime. The dimmed light of the moon successfully helped him coat and cover his natural sharpness - the trace from times when Roman was Apathy without Creativity’s memories. Back then he was made mostly of broken glass and dark shadows. Nowadays he was trying to polish those in order to find his new, maybe this time permanent, shape.

When Apathy was looking at the sky, at the moon and the stars, he couldn’t help but wonder how would daydreaming feel like. If he still was a dreamer, would he be able to touch the sky? Or was it just a wishful thinking? Apathy couldn’t tell. He had the memories of his whimsical past but understanding them was still far beyond his comprehension.

Roman heard a muffled noise coming behind the door of his room. He snapped his fingers and the door opened, screeching quietly. Someone walked into the room. The atmosphere changed momentally. Apathy casted a glance over his shoulder, although he already had a pretty solid guess as to who was his unexpected visitor.

In reality, none of the sides openly seeked his company. Only The Anxious One. Apathy subtly eyed him up and down. He didn’t look much different than ever. The oversized hoodie in the shade of deep purple appeared almost radiant in the room full of rich reds. Apathy turned his head away and fixed his eyes in the moon. Today was a special night after all. The moon looked like blood that was blended with sweet cream. Roman could almost see the foam, forming on the surface. It was truly captivating and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was the very reason of the visit.  

Virgil was quiet like a cat, soundlessly sneaking through the room, to the point that Apathy had barely noticed when Anxiety had sat down next to him - his lanky legs curled up to his chest and long bangs casting a shadow over the eyes in the colour of sparkling amethyst. Roman always had a thing for gemstones.

Both of them were admiring the moon, thinking of all realistic things, but knowing that the moon was nothing but real. Apathy wasn’t allowed to leave the mind space after all. It was too dangerous for him and would leave Subconscious too vulnerable. He hadn’t seen Thomas in ages. Every blow of the wind on his skin was reeking with fakeness. But he didn’t mind. He knew that at some point it would start to get on his nerves but for now it was safer to stay inside.

Apathy’s finger absently traced along the sharp edge of his knife. It wasn’t his decision to become a guardian of the Subconscious and yet here he was. He glanced at the locked door leading to the world of lost and forgotten.

That was where he came from.

That was where he was re-born.

And Subconscious even let him come back to collect the remaining pieces of himself. To say that Apathy was grateful for that was a misunderstanding. That’s why he chose to protect the door. Mainly to keep the others away from it but also to keep Subconscious’ secrets locked inside. Because at the end Subconscious was a very dark place. The deeper you wandered, the more lost you found yourself to be.

“Anything on your mind?” asked Virgil after what seemed to be a whole night but in reality was only a few minutes. Roman gasped soundlessly. He got pulled into Subconscious game once again.

“Just some usual stuff.” Mumbled Apathy, looking down through the window. Virgil didn’t dwell into subject and Roman was grateful for it.

They were sitting on the window sill and while in most of the houses they would see a street or a garden from here, it wasn’t a normal house. When they looked down, all they could see was water. Roman didn’t know what exactly was this black sea. All he knew was that sometimes he’d see Logan fishing something in its waters. Logan never seemed to be afraid of it. But every time he that the sea was growing restless and it’s waves were crashing against the walls of their floating house. Apathy didn’t like the sound they made but he never admitted that. He was far too proud to do so.

He suspected that the water was a link between their world and the real world. Maybe that’s why at the end it scared him so much. Apathy was something to be hid inside in one’s heart. Especially now that he wasn’t even fully “Apathy”.

“Why do you like looking at the moon so much?” Asked Virgil again.

Roman shook his head, brushing away the dark thoughts, and re-focused on the moon hanging above them. He never knew how to feel about Virgil’s questions. Sometimes he hated them more than anything in the world and sometimes he’d welcome them like an old friend. Today he only clicked his tongue. He knew that Virgil would see through his extravagant manner anyway. The sea was calm.

“It puts me at ease,” admitted Apathy truthfully. He couldn’t lie to Virgil. He wouldn’t. He liked the way his red and Virgil’s purple mixed. Every day he liked fuchsia more and more. The moon was slowly changing its colour. “Hey, Virgil…” The words slipped out of his lips before he had realized.

The delicate smile that decorated Virgil’s lips was worth it though.

“Mhm?”

“Do you think that if I tried I could snatch the moon of the sky and put it in my casket?” Roman was fully aware that it was a silly question but he still couldn’t help but ask. He blamed old Roman’s fancifulness, fantasies and optimism for that. Besides… Virgil sometimes made Roman ask foolish things like that.

Anxiety chuckled quietly and his eyes turned into two small crescents. They looked as beautiful as the fuchsia moon on the sky.

“I don’t think you could do that, Roman” hummed Virgil finally, voice still tinted with the signs of laugh.

Apathy looked at him behind half-closed eyelids. He liked the way red light emphasised Virgil’s sharp cheekbones.

“You can’t steal the moon, Roman but I think I can give you something that looks similar.” declared Virgil finally, determination written all over his face. “Close your eyes,” he demanded and Apathy didn’t even dream of disobeying this order.

Roman closed his eyes. He thought he’d see red but wherever his eyes saw crimson, small dots of purple appeared. He could hear the rustling coming from the side where Virgil was sitting.

Before he realized what he was doing, Apathy started humming to himself softly. He didn’t know melody too well but his past self appeared to like it so Roman did his best to copy it the best way he could.

Reflecting on how he had spent last few months, humming was a strange thing to do. Entertaining himself with music and company was strange. Seeking for those two almost actively. But Apathy wasn’t Apathy anymore. He was a collective of many memories and experiences. A creature that crawled out of the land of forgotten. A nightmare sneaking into your dreams. Apathy was a monster made out of fragments of imagination and bitter taste of disgust on your tongue. Once he accepted that, it was easier for him to breathe.

“Open your eyes now.” said Virgil and put something into Apathy’s hand.

Covered with red glitter eyelids fluttered lazily. Sometimes it was easier for Roman to slip into old habits, like pretending not to care at all. It was still more familiar to him than vivid colours and abrupt gestures of Creativity.

There, in his hands, was resting a small purple ball, filled with fog that seemed to be alive. The thick violet smoke was twirling inside the globe making it look like a tiny planet. Carefully he raised the ball to his eyes. It looked even more beautiful from the closer distance.

“Whats is this?” he asked with a strained voice, emotions audibly playing on his tongue.

Virgil shrugged only, “A small ball of anxiety so try not to break it unless you fancy a panic attack, your highness.”

“It’s beautiful…” whispered Apathy mesmerized. “I’d never thought that anxiety could be this beautiful…” he added.

Upon hearing that Virgil bit his lips, trying to stop himself from smiling. “Well, I have my moments of genius.” he joked lightly.

Apathy delicately rolled the globe over his palm before looking up at Virgil.

“It’s incredible, Virgil.” he said, before forcing the rest of the words out of his throat, “Thank you.”

Being thankful never came as something careless to Apathy. Pushing aside his ego wasn’t exactly the easiest part of his existence.

The smile Virgil gave him in return was almost blinding even though Virgil didn’t do much more than subtly quirking up the corners of his lips.

“I actually didn’t know that I could do this,” he said, looking away from Roman, “But one time when I was in trouble, I saw a globe like this one flowing in my direction. It was red. Suddenly it exploded covering everything with blood-like fog. Once it exploded, the trouble disappeared. Ever since then I decided to learn how to create something like that by myself. Only once I mastered it I understood that the ball would carry something that defines me. For most of the time it’s just a panic attack in a compressed form.” he laughed darkly.

“It can also carry protection though.” pointed out Apathy.

Virgil looked at him with doubt in his eyes.

“Still… Better don’t try it at home.” he suggested cautiously and Roman laughed quietly.

For Virgil it was all about moments like this one when Apathy laughed. He could still recall the way Creativity-Roman laughed. It was similar. The sound was filling all his body and lungs, making his spine shiver. But Apathy’s laughter was much deeper, maybe a little bit more crazy but at the same time extremely gentle. As if he was never sure if he could laugh. It made the melody of the sound dear to Virgil’s heart.

“It was when Deceit appeared in the theatre, wasn’t it?” asked Apathy after few minutes. “I threw the red globe at the stage to make Deceit leave.”

“Yeah…” Virgil admitted, his fingers were mindlessly tapping the window sill under him. The next words he was about to say made him feel heavy with anxiety and uncertainty, as he couldn’t be sure of Roman’s reaction. “That was when I realized that you’re not the bad guy even if you’re not your old self anymore.”

Muscles on Apathy’s back tensed almost immediately.

“Figured you deserved to know that.” Virgil added hurriedly. “I thought ‘he helped me. And now I will help him’. I just didn’t know how should I help you. You’re not exactly an open-book, Roman.”

The waves underneath them were starting to crash against the shore louder. Roman slid down the window sill back into his room. He rested his forearm against the window-frame and looked up at the sky. The moon was slowly hiding behind thick dark clouds.

“You accepted me the way I am now.” Apathy said finally, “It’s more than enough for me.”

Fin.

(the theatre scene that Virgil refers to was descibed in Poisoned)

General taglist (ask to be added or removed)

@depressed-alone​​ ​ @changeling-ash​​ @dear-lover-dearest​ @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2​​ @calmingthoughtsinyourhead​ @zo-geeky​​ @fandomfreak-19​​ @thegnatnat​​ @inha-led​​ @tree4life25​​ @panic-at-theeverywhere​​ @reallyanextrovertipromise  @shit-happens-bitchachos@pastel-patton123​​ @pinkeasteregg​​ @greymane902​​ @princeyssash​​ @ilovemyspoopydad​​ @musicphanpie-b​​ @all-these-trees-stealing-mah-o2 @birosezz​ @winged-outlaw @anxious-fander-talian-bean​ @lizaelsparrow @moonstonefox12 @pastelnerd101  somecrappyclonemysticalstrawberryface @ninjago2020​  donteatmyassghostie toriwithacamera moxiety–sanders101 confinesofpersonalknowledge xxladystarlightxx wheeitsvee a-very-optimistic-realist narniasfinestavengingsociopath  thequeensqueer allycat31415 rileys-main-blog-spotroman-is-a-dramatic-prince virgil-my-diamond justanotherproblem faacethefacts  beautifully-terribly logical-but-anxious queen-of-all-things-snuggly seabellart   @generalfandomfabulousness lostin—translation  knine-nights  @poisonedapples @talhaddelpla @punk-and-flowers @quietlypondering @milomeepit 0joodles0  grape-soda-city-kid sanders-sides-stuff lonelysoul43 imtooaromaticforthis

Apathy taglist (ask to be added or removed):

storytellerofuntoldlegends everphantom syndianiteshighfivegirl404softprxnce timeywimeygalaxy flloof 221b-quote the-happy-landfill alkimara trash-king-arrieabsentmindedproff talhaddelpla obsessedfangirlwithissues akiraaria fivecroftersjams xx-this-is-a-mess-xx sardonicsanders  seabellart  starryfirefliesbloggo thomas-must-get-to-sleeppeacefulwriterninjago2020 guardian-of-the-bears deathbyvenusftw caristarshelloisthisusernametaken starry-eyed-haiku-dreamer fricksonsticks violetmcl derpsheep75absentmindedproff neko-ereriromanasanders ruby717 starryfirefliesbloggo supreme-succ-overlordegotisticalfloof thomas-must-get-to-sleep the-better-bard syndianites justanotherpurplebutterflyironwoman359 candiukastimeywimeygalaxy i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom ssimplypatton accio-hufflepuff-power average-advanced black-out-wonder niluith-moonlady froggyfun27 thekaijucaketheotherella that-one-invisible-chick hamiltrash-kimliza ocotopushugs highfivegirl404 hi-alex-the-ghost eleven-fire-slang-words asterias-confused-writings winged-outlaw brikcsandbonescinquefoilelove roman-is-a-gay fizzlefeen typical-torii hellomusicalnerdhere serious-ppl-wear-neckties thisisshien la-fandom-freak haikyuupaladin incorrectquotesfromlilgaybois violetmcl musicphanpie-b nothing-to-see-here-bud thekaijucake hellomusicalnerdhere @ocean-logan otaku-marijane potatogirl309ghostilda @ako1209 grumpymoonbird pendragonqueen09 incredible-introvert  bibbidi-bobbity-booyah nonsensical-aleks cabbagedynamite otaku-felicity-winchestersleep-who-idk-herthisbisreadytoyeet theshipqueenarrives arnyanimaltrash156 snowcherrishadow-walker-1201 kri-marie-b-the-nb ofwordsandroses kandhitota depressed–and–underdressed aoikitty fandom-random2405 cdragontogacotar everything-is-better-with-a-phspacenerrrd hyperactive-lectiophile xxxbladeangelxxx  ashiscringy unipugsat221b @milomeepit the5thcoy eleventhdoctor-whomst sammy-writes-stuff motherofpearl-21 confusedmemeingchild  ijustreallylovesanderssides 

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