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weshallc · 4 years

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Easter Bernie.

(A Crown Jewels/Call the Midwife AU/ Also on FF and A03)

Chapter Two: Good Friday

I completely forgot what happened in this chapter. I read this morning not a clue what was going to happen🙄, it’s only been a year. Thank you for reading or re-reading and all the kind comments.😘🤗

There is a green hill far away. Without a city wall (Alexander, Brennan, Cass, Horsley)

Bernie sat calmly next to the little less calm Tim, ready to turn the pages of the worn creased sheet music. Reverend Julia was in position in the pulpit, in full regalia today, befitting the occasion. In black with a striking red scarf Lucille Anderson stood composed in front of the choir, smiling reassuringly at those assembled nervously before her, also dressed in black and red. The vicar nodded at Bernie, the signal for the service to start. Bernie took one last glance down the crowded pews, full of the shuffling and mumbling. She sighed.

As if on cue, the recently closed, dark oak inner doors opened and a tall man in his late 40’s dressed smartly in a dark suit entered. He was accompanied by a striking blonde woman in her late twenties, dressed in a fitted sage suit. The odd couple tiptoed in trying to look inconspicuous and failing badly. Bernie’s shoulders dropped and she permitted herself a tight smile. She nudged the teen next to her and whispered, “He is here.” The boy rolled his eyes and pressed the pedals below his feet.

Paddy and Trixie had found a seat next to Matron Crane, “Cutting it fine you two.”

“Barrel of Bernie’s Bitter needed changing,” as if that was explanation enough. “Didn’t expect to see you here, Phyll?”

“Could say same about you Paddy, dare say I am here for the same reasons.” Paddy lifted an eyebrow, Phyllis continued, “Supporting my family, Councillor.”

Paddy smiled and rose to his feet, as Trixie placed half a stiff hymn book, she was wrestling with, in front of him.

He looked up to see Tim looking so grown-up and self-assured in this environment that had previously been so foreign to him. It was still reassuring to see Bernie by his side. The dark blonde in the simple navy blue dress looked up, she gave the swiftest wink that only the person it was meant for caught. Trixie shook slightly as Paddy flunked the first note at the sight of Bernie’s smile.

#There is a green hill far away without a city wall #

***

“So anyone fancy a pint?” Paddy grinned.

Tim had stayed behind to talk to Lucille. Phyllis had agreed to have a night cap with Reverend Julia. Bernie had caught up with Trixie, who was puffing on a stubby and Paddy, battling with something that smelt like parma violets. The pair lent against the cool church wall, they had been chatting easily about things they had observed throughout the evening service.

“Well I certainly do,” replied Trixie instantly, “but it will have to be a pint of diet lemonade,” she sighed wistfully.

Paddy wondered whether he should apologize for his lack of thought. But the fact was, he lived in and ran a pub, there was no getting around that. To try and insulate Trixie from that was nigh on impossible and as he looked at her in that moment, she did not seem in any need of protection or over sensitivity.

Bernie on the other hand did not look as carefree, “It’s Good Friday Paddy, we have just been to church.”

“I know, thought we could all do with a bit of unwinding.” Some more than others he thought.

“I didn’t think you would open at all today, in the circumstances.” Bernie shrugged but there was disapproval in her voice.

“Oh Bernie, the laws about closing on Good Friday changed years ago,” he tried to sound nonchalant, but she could hear a hint of guilt in his defence.

Bernie wasn’t letting him off that easily, “Yes, to allow freedom of choice, you could have chosen not to open.”

Paddy was looking nervous, Trixie amused.

“We did have fish on the specials board today,” Paddy was struggling.

Trixies amusement trickled into the night air.

“Cod Parmo does not make up for Violet, Valerie and Jack not being able to attend service on a Good Friday.”

“Violet could have gone if she wanted to, we had stopped serving by then. Jack and Val didn’t request any time off or early finishes today. If they had I would have accommodated them.” Paddy had no idea why she was trying to pick a fight, he had attended the Good Friday service, wasn't that enough?

Bernie snorted and marched ahead. Trixie had stopped laughing and wasn’t finding things as funny. She linked Paddy’s arm, partly because of the vexing cobbles and partly so she could lower her voice.

“It’s just the time of the year, Paddy,” she whispered.

“April?”

“No Easter, well Lent to be specific.”

“You are not serious,” Paddy asked incredulously.

“Well she is always a bit on the grizzly side, when she has to give up biscuits every year,” Trixie bit her lip

“Every year, this happens every year?” Paddy sounded flummoxed.

“I have never seen her this upset though, it might be more to do with...” Trixie stopped.

Paddy didn’t notice, he was too busy thinking, “You said had to, there is no had to about this, it is ridiculous.”

Bernie had reached her little cottage and was fiddling in her handbag for her front door key. Cursing Trixie for insisting she locked up. Paddy was beside her and took the key straight off her once she had retrieved it. He put his arm around her and guided her firmly to the nearby Crown. Outside Val and Jack were just getting into Val’s car. They waved enthusiastically before they drove off, Paddy was relieved to see them gone. He waved back and so did Trixie from about five feet behind, still not fully competent on the cobbles.

Inside Paddy lifted Bernie from the waist and sat her down on her favourite stool and told her to wait there. She huffed but did as she had been told.

Paddy then went to the inn door, where Trixie had just arrived and gave her Bernie’s key. He asked her if she wouldn’t mind giving the couple a few minutes. Trixie went to say something, but instead kissed Paddy on the cheek, squeezed his arm and left.

Bernie swung round on her stool and watched Paddy move behind the bar. He stood opposite her and from under the bar he placed a packet onto the counter. Bernie looked down at the packet of Pink Wafer biscuits in front of her. She gulped and sniffed.

Paddy pushed the carton towards her, “Have one.”

Bernie glared at him and wailed, “You know, I can’t, why are you being so mean.”

“Because I can’t bear seeing you so miserable, it’s not worth it Bernie.”

Bernie sniffed and was unable to stem the flow of tears tumbling from her eyes. “It’s not the biscuits, it’s not Lent’s fault.”

Paddy remained quiet, too afraid to ask what the problem was, a familiar feeling of foreboding was making its way through his body. He reached behind him and placed a tumbler glass under the premium gin optic, he added some ice left in the bucket and plopped in a black straw. He put it in front of the unhappy woman sat at the bar. He deftly removed the cap off a tonic water with the bar secured bottle opener and sat it next to the glass, for Bernie to add as she wished.

“Tell me.”

He handed Bernie a serviette from the holder and she wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

“Trixie...” Bernie began, Paddy broke in,

“Oh no, what has she said, honestly she just doesn't think before she speaks...”

Bernie’s turn to interrupt, “It wasn’t Trixie...someone said something to her and she told me.”

“Who? Someone at church...or the Crown?” Paddy said incredulously.

“No,” Bernie continued slowly breathing each word, “The Mission.”

Paddy stopped for a moment, he hadn’t been expecting this, it was out of his territory. He wasn’t sure how to proceed, this was part of Bernie’s life that was a mystery to him, it was unknown.

“Go on,” he eventually added.

Bernie bit her lip and between sobs explained; Trixie had gone to the Mission office to tell them she had found full-time employment elsewhere and was leaving. Remarks had been made questioning; what was the attraction of this Poplar-on-Tweaven? The village that had taken two of their hardest workers and most passionate evangelists from them. Paddy did raise an eyebrow at that point, he wasn't sure if Trixie had introduced the two or Bernie was just being kind.

“So that was a compliment, that’s nothing to get upset about,” he said as cheery as he could watching Bernie obviously hurting. He was holding her hand is his, stroking her palm. Bernie shook her head. Paddy knew she saw the good in everyone, so this sense of doubt concerned him, he didn’t want to brush off her anxieties,

“Well there might be some sour grapes or even jealousy. You have both done well for yourselves. No one could dispute Trixie has fallen on her feet, being taken under Patsy’s wing. You have your own home now and two very desirable jobs,” he give a cheeky grin trying to comfort her.

Bernie gathered herself and blurted out, “They think I have turned my back on them and even worse, led Trixie astray too”

Paddy really had to hold in a snort. Bernie, on occasion could be shrouded in a mist of grumpiness, that never really had any substance or lasted any length like a fragile sea fret. But the idea of the devout Bernadette leading the worldly, streetwise Beatrix Franklin astray, was hard to comprehend.

“I am sure that’s not true, you know how dramatic Trixie is, it’s the way she told it.”

“They are disappointed in me, I have let them down,” Bernie was inconsolable, she just managed to sniff, ”They think I have betrayed them.”

Paddy didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know these people, he hardly knew Trixie. He did know Bernie and this was his worst nightmare coming into reality. His girlfriend’s obsession with service and doing the right thing, being in the right place was reasserting its hold. He thought, hoped, they had got passed this.

Inwardly he cursed Trixie for probably innocently telling Bernie about the horrible conversation. He would have to give her the benefit of the doubt, she adored Bernie and as far as he could tell approved of him. She had been thoughtless not destructive. He cursed the leaders, he had never met and hoped he never would. Again they could have meant no harm, Trixie could have misinterpreted their misplaced humour. They might be horrified to learn the distress they had caused their former golden girl.

Paddy let go of Bernie’s hand and walked round to her side of the bar and wrapped his arms around the sad looking soul perched on the bar stool. The publican held her close stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head while she sobbed into his best shirt.

****

As Good Friday turned into not so certain Saturday. Paddy sat on Peggy and Frank’s bench against the back wall of the Crown Inn. He watched the bulbous full moon form contrasting shadows across the Cleveland Hills. He puffed on his parma violet vaporizer and sneered at the mechanism and pushed it onto the table he was tapping his foot against, in an uneven rhythm.

He was focused on only one thing, how could he get Bernie Mannion to truly trust in him, Poplar and most of all herself? How could he stop her trying to always please others and be able to live a life that pleased her? He had considered, especially after the Noakes’ wedding, that a ring might allow her some sense of security, but Bernie wasn’t one for empty gestures. No, for them an engagement would mean plans and dates and he knew Bernie wasn't ready for that.

Paddy felt out of his depth, things had been so different with Marianne. In spite of their differences in life views, personalities and backgrounds, they had known pretty much straight away they would end up spending the rest of their lives together. As it turned out her life.

Bernie was completely different their relationship felt like a 3D game of snakes and ladders. He would climb the dizzy heights of Bernie’s love, one step at a time. Just to feel the snake of doubt, cynically hissing in his ear. He sipped on his Aberlour malt he had brought out with him, in need of something to take the sting out of the memory of Bernie’s tears, still ringing in his ears. But the teasing Speyside tang on his lips and the sweet, but spicy finish, only reminded him of her.

#call the midwife #crown jewels easter special from 2019 #paddy and bernie #and trixie

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jq37 · 5 years

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Ok, a few Unsleeping City asks: 1-Thoughts on new ep? 2-CAMBRIDGE SANTALYTICA 3-The gang tries to meet up for drinks

**spoilers for mutant santa melee**

(I’ll respond to the other two parts of the ask in another post!)

We are back with our first battle episode of the season and our first chance to see the NY Crew really show their skills.

Ricky trying to keep Sophie's reckless ass safe because he has big golden retriever energy is great.

I can't decide if everyone taking this first fight more seriously than the first fight in FH is because they remember how badly they got womped last time and didn't want a repeat or because they were just playing older, more experienced characters.

I hate everything about these mutant Santas and I want it on the record. I mean, they're great from a game design perspective but I hate them.

"Mr. March, I'm gonna save you!"/"My name is Rick, by the way."

I thought it was funny that Ricky and Sophie both happened to hit the exact wrong type of Santa for their skillset for their first attack, back to back.

Fig's Bardic Inspiration move was to do flirty winks at everyone. Misty's is to give big, theatrical compliments. I love it.

Ricky dropping gun safety warnings mid MUTANT SANTA FIGHT.

"Fucking come out of your stupid cocoon! I know you're not a butterfly!"

I love it when rolls are happening at the table and Lou is loudly like, "This is terrible. I hate this." He did it all through the family rescue rolls in FH too.

"It's fine. It's fucking new York. What do you expect?"/"The NY that I live in and the NY that you live in are very different my friend." That's the real NY experience.

Sophie going, "F the minions, I'm going for the obvious boss Monster, I'll take the attacks," is such a good character defining moment. Also, the action-y music abruptly cutting off as the door shut was hilarious.

So Pete is hearing mysterious whispers and Sophie is hearing mysterious whispers and I'm Concerned, especially since it's the two newbies and it's not necessarily significant but it could be so I'm just mentioning it and tabling it until I have more info to speculate.

Misty turning to Kingston and saying, "Just like old times!" makes me want to know every single detail of their history together before the new kids showed up.

"Santa's my friend and he's fucking dead."

I like the homebrew rule for Pete's wild magic surge which makes the odds of one increase every time it doesn't happen because it ups the chaos factor and makes it inevitable rather than just a possibility which I bet has the potential to create some real tension in a long, drawn out fight.

The way Brennan kept describing Pete's arm as peeling like a banana when he used his magic grossed me out so much so, if that was the goal, you did it. Thanks, I hate it.

The, "Guess I'll just die," meme but it's Pete going, "Guess I'll just use this evil magic."

"Darling I love to be naughty. It's my favorite thing!" (Misty's chaos potential increases with every line she says).

"SANTA GETYCHO ASS UP." (Flawless bedside manner)

I forgot how fragile lower level characters can be! I'm glad so many of the party members have at least some healing spells (I think everyone but Pete and Sophie) as opposed to FH when it was basically just Kristen I think.

"He just gives us a PS4 and that's it."

Sophie monkey bars up Giant Eldritch Horror Santa's exposed ribcage and upercut-kick him because stripping Emily of her magic doesn't strip her of her creativity or flair.

"Darling, with me every day is a show. My life is a show!"

Sophie, upon being complimented by Misty: Oh my God. My new friends are awesome.

The idea of a dirty rat man summoning a unicorn is hilarious to me.

Pete's first Wild Magic surge just restores his sorcery points, which is great as a player but, as a viewer, I really hope we get to see some bombastic nonsense soon. Also, Brennan had the wild magic surge, in story, be the result of Pete's magic reacting to Kingston's, which I thought was a cool way to justify game mechanics.

"You're the opposite of Santa!"

Smites are GOOD you guys.

Sophie catches Santa and and Ricky (who has just killed the boss Santa) takes a selfie with them. Bless. Also, Sophie refuses to put down Santa for the rest of the fight.

Misty has an umbrella with a KNIFE inside of it which I LOVE.

The fight ends a little anticlimactically because, once you bum rush the boss, all that's left to do is clean up the minions.

Misty mentioned having Shoes of Titania and I wanna know if that's an actual item with a mechanical effect and what its stats are if so.

Ally realizing they only some of the Santas explode on impact basically at the end of the fight was classic DnD.

Santa sending people into his bag was giving me big Naddpod vibes.

"What the fuck happened?" --Santa, 2019

I don't like the implication of the gestating tadpoles with the Santa hats. Like, is Santa's hat organic? Is it just a part of his body? No thank you.

Pete just lying to Santa's face for absolutely no reason. Incredible.

Santa and Misty talking shop, just because, was such a fun 30 seconds of RP. I love RP that exists just to exist (and, sidenote, I also love when it comes back around and becomes relevant like in Naddpod (14 seconds of absolute silence...chicken)).

"Santa, don't give this boy an egg."

"A very fancy egg for a very not fancy boy. But a good boy nonetheless."

Ricky on Santa: It would be crazy if you weren't real because you're such a good person. (Zac struggling to get through that was his second best moment of the ep).

Pete gives Santa a bag of coke and tries to dip when she sees cops because, magic or not, that's Who He Is As A Person.

Santa: Pete, your soul is in jeopardy. (lol, Santa knew his name on sight which, of course he did. It's Santa. Duh.)

CENTAUR HORSE COP. I love that as much as I hate the mutant Santas.

Ricky, horrified: Am I on the bad list?/Santa, who is still processing that Ricky never stopped believing in Santa:Ricky, no. (That was my fave Ricky line of the ep, in case you were wondering)

So, in this world, Christian (Catholic specifically) figures explicitly exist, which is good to know. Also, in last episode and this one, the grey faced child mentioned Lazarus which I thought was just a stylistic name choice but that's a name w/ specific Biblical connotations (that's the dude Jesus brought back from the dead for those not up on your New Testament) and it still might be irrelevant, but it's one more thing for me to tack up on my conspiracy board.

"Santa, are you Cambrdige Analytica?"

Anyway, Heaven and Hell use the naughty and nice list to figure out who goes where so they're not being redundant which is wild because that means Santa essentially gets to decide morality for the rest of the world and, as of now, Pete is super going to hell based on the look Santa gave him when they were talking about who's on the naughty list.

Santa's list has been stolen which is, como se dice, Bad. The specifics aren't clear, but it's super not good. Also, Santa lets the group know that they might wanna figure out what's going on with Pete before he chucks deuces and goes home. So it seems like we'll be seeing him again.

I wonder what the timeline for this season is gonna be. Like, Christmas seems like an obvious time for a big, climactic setpiece, but it'll have to be a really compressed timeline if that's what they're aiming for. Compressed compared to Fantasy High at least.

Sophie, illegally cracking a Mike's Hard in Central Park in front of a cop: Um, we're magic. (She gets a ticket immediately)

That's it for this week! Next week the mob (the pixie mob maybe?) and Siobahn has awesome hair!

#dimension 20 #the unsleeping city #asks #anon #I may be slow on the next post bc I'm on vacation next week and I won't have my main laptop #but we'll see what happens #also does anyone know if you can download content in the dropout app?#bc if you can I can watch the RTX ep on the plane tmrw #Anonymous

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celticnoise · 7 years

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What makes a great comedy?

Brilliant writing for one. And at Ibrox, the script is always so juicy, and full of surprises that whoever is charge of the writing for them, Upstairs, has to be one Hell of a scribe, with a world class wit and a sense of timing that is just fantastic.

You also need great locations; they are more important to comedy than you might at first think. How many Friends episodes revolve around The Coffee House? Cheers takes place in a bloody bar. How many Only Fools episodes concern that evolving disaster of a flat, or are based on events down at the Nags Head? Ibrox is a fine location, and so too is Hampden. But you also get episodes in dingy boozers and dramatic scenes in courtrooms.

Above all else, you need a great cast of characters because comedy is about stuff that happens to people. Stuff people do. There are different sorts of comedy; situation comedy is perhaps the best known, and the most fun to watch. Satire can be incredible though, such as The Office or The Thick Of It. Farce has produced magical results, as anyone who ever watched Fawlty Towers or Father Ted could verify between gales of laughter.

There is no finer group of comedy performers than at Ibrox, and they have managed, somehow, to combine every possible comic genre in one show and make it not only work but be one of the most compelling we have ever witnessed.

And it is bloody hilarious.

Pedro Caixinha is the latest individual to join the cast, and the episodes about him so far have hinted at true greatness to come.

There are some comedy shows whose genius is evident from the first; you see it in them at once.

It was there in the opening moments of Porridge and in the debut of The Royle Family. Others took time. I would argue, for example, that it took three episodes – until Cash And Curry, where the brothers get involved in a dispute between two Indian gentlemen over a statue – before you realised you were watching, in Only Fools, a show that was going to last, and which went on to become the gold standard of the entire genre.

I loved Chewin’ The Fat, and the idea of a spin-off was a winner, but in choosing Jack and Victor I thought the boys had made a huge mistake. I couldn’t see how it could be sustained. I didn’t see where the magic was coming from, and yet, like with Porridge, once you watched the first episode of Still Game you knew Ford and Greg had it, that they knew exactly what they were doing and that your doubts had been ridiculous.

This is like that. I knew when Pedro was hired that it was going to be special.

All the pieces are in place to make it so.

From the resignation-sacking of Warburton and his backroom team this has dripped with opportunities of gold. When the board decided, in the wake of Murty’s bad start, to speed up the process and hire someone quick you could see the opportunity for something fit to bust a gut.

When Pedro’s name surfaced and the first thing we found out about him was that his team was fifth in Qatar you shook your head and thought “No way … too much to hope for.” When it was revealed that he was a not-so-secret Tim that was wonderful and you knew then someone else would get the gig. When the papers said it was a done deal and those pictures of him in his green and white hoops came to light, that was the cherry on the cake.

You knew the Ibrox casting team had produced again. You knew they were onto an instant classic. I thought this one might be a slow burner, like Auf Weidershen Pet, which took the time to develop the characters before hitting its stride with some of the finest stuff ever put on the telly, or the Warburton seasons where it only started to become “must watch TV” towards the end, but this one has exceeded my expectations by a fair bit already.

From six day out of seven training and playing, to cutting the pre-season short and spoiling one of his player’s honeymoon into the bargain, to his three subs at half time strategy to beat Motherwell and his naming the Kilmarnock team with 30 hours to go before kick-off … this one looks every bit as brilliant in execution as it did on paper.

He’s already blown his alibi of course. He said when he was unveiled that he had the best team in the country at his disposal; ergo he doesn’t need big bucks for new players. Cue fielding three kids last night, as the implications of that set in.

He said he was targeting second spot and the Scottish Cup. Now his team looks dead and buried as far as the first goes – and fighting a bare knuckle brawl just to get third – and disaster in the cup looms on the not-too-distant horizon, if the script plays out as it should.

There are already whispers of players groaning under the weight of the new training regimen and others who claim they can’t understand his instructions. They do seem rather baffling; he cycled through various tactical permutations last night without settling on any one, and they were all equally useless in breaking down Kilmarnock.

As a smarter person than me once said, “Confused? You won’t be after the next episode …”at the end of which you were usually even more baffled.

The fans don’t rate this guy; that means he gets no benefit of the doubt when things go wrong. They will expect to see improvement – even instant improvement; that doesn’t happen. Even Brendan lost his first match in charge – and some sort of a plan, but they will not wait around for it. If Aberdeen beat them, followed by a cup knockout, the hard questions will already be getting asked at a team when the season ticket forms are going out.

Today Phil has suggested that Caixinha was hired, in part, because he gave the Sevco board false reason to believe he was in good with wealthy Arab “investors”. Imagine that turns out to be true; that would be up there with Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse or any of the nuttier episodes where Basil goes off the deep end and starts slapping Manuel.

You hear some of this stuff and think, “Surely not …”

But this is Ibrox we’re talking about, and those words just don’t apply.

Caixinha is already under scrutiny.

It won’t be long before he’s under pressure.

At another club he might get time – most Hearts fans are frustrated beyond belief with Cathro, and you can hear the steady ticking of the Death Clock in the background, but it’s low, below conversation volume, because the majority will grant him that – but this isn’t a normal club with normal fans and realistic expectations.

This is Sevco. Who’s fans believe in the Survival Myth and who don’t understand that Rangers itself was like an optical illusion, artificially inflated by Murray and the bank.

Listen, this might all turn out well for them over there. This could be like one of those funny shows which takes a really serious (usually stupid) turn to give everyone a happy ending. But then it again, it could end like Soap did, with a bang ….

I suspect that’s exactly how it’ll turn out.

In the meantime, I’ll just sit back and enjoy the entertainment.

“So, will Caixinha prove to be a managerial genius? Will King ride off into the sunset with Club 1872’s money? Will the SFA grow some guts or will the next President of the Association be John “WATP” Gilligan? Will Keith Jackson ask a critical question of these people? Or will Brendan ride to ten in a row on the back of poor Chris Graham?”

These questions – and many others – will be answered in the next episode …

http://ift.tt/2ngXzxL

#CelticNoise #Celtic #CelticFC #TheCelticBlog #News

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jq37 · 5 years

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Let's go final bloodkeep ep breakdown!

**spoilers for the tomb of ultimate evil**

I was originally kind of annoyed that dropout wasn’t working when I wanted to do this originally, but it’s actually kind of a blessing in disguise now that I think about it because it means I get to rewatch and discuss the ep in light of the bombshells Brennan dropping in the BTS video.

As I watch the Previouslies, I realize I’m still not over the fact that Maggie named her kid after Leiland. It was so sweet an unexpected.

So, at the start of this episode, Brennan must have realized that his plans are pretty much jossed because the 4 baby blessing was *very* not on the docket

“Absolutely, Lilith’s got 25 strength.” Idk why that’s so funny to me. Maybe because I think Rekha was asking whether Lilith was allowed to carry her, not if she was physically cable but Brennan was like “Of course she can carry you. She’s an absolute unit.”

Leiland’s first move? Drawing all the enemy fire. Markus’s first move? Immediately hiding. In fairness, my dude is a rogue.

Lol, spiderweb baby bjorn.

“We’re evil but we understand communication and consent.”

Nat 20 from Old Pickering! Finally he’s useful!

Watch a bitch call lightning! A different bitch, but still.

Amy’s childish delight at the prospect that there might be a bomb in the goblins is so good.

I love how on board everyone was for the mystery potion.

Did Hork exist before this episode? I have no memory of him existing.

Nat 20 for Sohkbar!

Brennan is really so good at all of his on the cuff J'er'em'ih nonsense.

Erika yelling, “Sanctuary!” a la Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I like that Lilith calls her spider kids to defend them by going, “Get ‘em ladies!” and then Brennan decides one of the kids she summoned is Jason.

“I really am sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done…and everything I’m about to do.”

Leiland Jr. MVP!

I love that Lilith treat’s Sohkbar as if he’s also a parent.

Two words I’ve learned to fear since I’ve started watching RPG shows: Lair action.

Leiland just BARELY not being on the falling chunk of floor.

Brennan really faked me out on that Jason fall. Man really was about to make me cry over a fictional spider for the SECOND TIME in my life (Charlotte’s Web).

I love Erika screaming over Jason in and out of character separately.

“Guys, this is our element! Knocking people off of things!”

Leiland’s affirmations. Who is doing counseling at the Bloodkeep.

AOE spells are so boss.

“Everyone look at Leiland! He’s doing it!” Aww, everyone finally gets to see him be cool! It’s really wild how much of an arc these guys went through in just 2 days of play. It’s very narratively consistent.

“Oh you fucking freak, you’d love that.”

“Tell him something is gonna happen to his bones but don’t explain it.”

Rekha loudly announcing her ridic amount of hitpoints is on of my fave things

I love how in both campaigns so far, Brennan has had a moment of, “You’re not bad at magic, you’re just depressed.” What an oddly specific thing but also, relateable.

Cell Block Tango ft. Leiland.

Leiland curses one of the Vingury. I’m sure that won’t be important later (I’m lying).

Ify/Markus just refusing to learn Hobbert and Frod’s names.

Ify: *Trying to do a shenanigan*

Brennan: I see what’s happening here.

DOOR LORE. DOOR LORE. DOOR LORE.

So I guess the real lesson of this season of D20 is always commit to your running jokes because you’ll get free nonsense out of it. (A 19! That’s so painful!)

Jessa just straight eats not-Gollum.

Both Jason and Jessa are very protective of their mom and I love it.

Maggie All elves look the same. (Maggie said F elf rights)

The full 6 seconds of silence from Matt between his saying he loves J'er'em'ih more than any other animal companion and looking directly at the camera and saying, “Except for Trinket,” very seriously.

Amy: I must become the necro boatman.

Brennan, whose plans have now been entirely womped: :O.

I truly didn’t even consider attacking the boatman. I feel like this is such a good DM moment, because I feel like my reaction would have been, “That’s not how this works,” but Bren just let it happen, which is better both for the story and player agency. I’m taking notes.

Efink getting validation on her chosen name by the evil statues.

“Kick his ass and you get the power!”

“I’m like a setpiece, not like a guy!”

Sohkbar claims the baby as his ward. This baby is gonna have so many godparents.

“MY DAD SHIT IN A BAG?”

What a wild improv.

I love the ancient evil statues have Lilith’s back on the fact that she should have gotten the promotion.

When Leiland Jr was born Brennan was like, “He’s not gonna do much. He’s a baby.” One ep later this baby is taking turns and fireblasting enemies and talking like he’s the Godfather.

OK so there’s a lair action. Leiland rolls a NAT ONE to not plummet into the Bloodkeep. Brennan clearly is ready to bring out the ghost figurines we saw in the BTS.

The statue Lilith JUST got the blessing from falls which means if she hadn’t gotten it that turn, they would have been screwed. Sidenote: Brennan says it was an instant lose condition for them which is part of why I was surprised that this wasn’t his plan to begin with. He just readjusted everything on the fly and set new parameters. What a good, confidence projecting, quick thinking DM.

It’s Leiland’s turn. He is once again falling to his doom. This time, without the bossa nova music and soothing apathy because he actually has something to live for.

AND HE USES HIS HEX TO TELEPORT TO THE VINGURY HE HEXED BEFORE.

It was JUST close enough. And he almost cursed Olag instead! That decision saved his undead ass!

I love that Leiland is Uncle Leiland to Jason! And later Jessa calls Efink Aunt Efink. I wanna see evil Thanksgiving so bad.

“You’re really killing it today Leiland!” My boy finally getting the praise he deserves. (Also, wild that this is all still THE SAME DAY)

“oKAY, okay, OKAY, oKay.” –Brennan having a moment

“You wanted us to play evil characters but we’re actually playing evil players.”

Man this episode is truly how Leiland got his groove back, huh?

Boatman rolls a 4 to resist fear. Go Leiland!

“I take off my mask to reveal…I’m sexy as fuck.”

Everyone including the evil statue is hot for Markus.

“Shut the fuck up, Olag. Go kill yourself.” Maggie just has no patience for nonsense (that’s not the kind of nonsense she enjoys anyway).

“Do I take psychic damage from that?”

Lilith gets a nat 20!

Maggie, upon Leiland calling her 'my queen’ for the second time: Just call me Maggie, please.

“THAT’S AN ABILITY J'ER'EM'IH HAS?”/“I guess.”

“Lilith, you’re my girl! Lilith, my girl!” They grab hands over the table. It’s such a pure moment.

Brennan after they kill the Boatman: I mean, fuck me I guess.

Leiland goes down. Leiland Jr. goes, “Nah, get up, you’re fine,” and he gets back up. (Brennan at this point has clearly fully leaned in to the direction his players dragged him).

Leiland comes back as Leiland the White. And I just realized! That’s the ghost figurine! I thought that was the figure Bren got for when Leiland inevitably completed his story arc. No! It was the figure for in case Leiland DIED.

Leiland FONZES at Leiland Jr.

Nat 20 from Maggie to avoid falling into the Bloodkeep!

Leiland lets Markus convince him to not kill Olag (for future shenanigans). Leiland instead owns Toby and rolls a 29 to convince Oswald back onto their side. Toby also comes as a zombie on their side. Everything’s coming up Leiland!

Except no, he goes back down immediately and falls face first into the blood pool.

OK, check it. Markus bargains with one of the evil statues to make Olag alive and undead for eternity. The statue is kinda on board but wants to make a trade. Markus basically goes, “Watch this,” and STEPS INTO THE VOID.

Go back and watch Amy’s reaction. It’s so genuinely shocked and concerned. Matt’s is good too.

Sidenote: That is apropos of nothing goal wise. He just wanted to torture Olag.

Maggie gets the final blessing with a quiet, heartfelt speech Brennan doesn’t even make her roll for. The statue tries to get her to put in a good word w/ her dad for it and steps all over the moment.

Ify, about to pull out shenanigans part two, electric boogaloo: I never got a chance to attack on my turn.

He attacks himself and warps back up!

Amy: Is that how you play a rogue????

Why sneak attack damage? Can you sneak attack yourself?

“You’re a liar!”/“I’m a rogue.” Beautiful.

We’re evil!

Oswald dies and Leiland comes back! Hexing Oswald really panned out for him

“It’s all spiders from here!” I wanna start saying that.

Efink cancels out a nat 20 on Sohkbar!

Lilith telling her kids to go find safety is a small thing but sweet.

“You know you live near Goblin Island and you always say you’re gonna visit.”

Markus swashbuckles over to the bloodkeep before he falls. Leiland is ready to jump his bones.

Nat 20 from Leiland! Is that his first one?

AND THEN HE ROLLS TWO NAT ONES!

Classic Leiland.

I love that Leiland is pro J'er'em'ih now.

John Feathers comes back for the epilogue. Rehka is more excited than anyone.

Lilith is voted queen regent of Gorgar! Go girl! And Jessa opens her fashion firm while Jason sets out to the forest. Good for them.

Scream beast babies!

And little Leiland asks big Leiland to get him the head of Galfast Hamhead! Full circle, I love it.

OK so Brennan said this and he was right. Leiland and Maggie have such a wild ass arc. She goes being “that whore” in ep 1 (idr what he actually called her but that’s the vibe he gave off) to “my queen” in episode 6. And like, man. Imagine planning a game where the goal is to lead the players into a PvP free for all and, instead, the only two characters with a legit grievance mend fences so much that one names their child after the other and that one swears fealty to that mom and her child. Imagine failing so hard at your original goal. Wow.

Anyway, that’s it for Bloodkeep! Thanks for hanging in there for me to write this up! I want to say something about the teaser for T.U.S. too but I’ll save that for another post.

Sidenote: So Matt has been on D20 and Brennan has been on Naddpod. I think this means Brennan or Murph gets to be on Critical Role now. I’m a lawyer and I’m pretty sure that’s how the law works.

#asks #a-salty-alto #escape from the bloodkeep #bloodkeep #dimension 20 #i know this is typo riddled but this is a 3 hour episode and I don't have the patience to edit this rn so...

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