i like to think klarion just. stole a house and put it in his own magic pocket dimension or something.

either that or vandal just kinda got him a house so hed stop waking up in the morning, walking into the kitchen to get some coffee, only to be greeted with the sight of klarion dead asleep face down on the couch, teekl on top of the kitchen counter licking a brownie, and the kitchen looking like masterchef if masterchef allowed you to put grenades in the batter

also lowkey like the idea of klarion just. not living anywhere. once hes done doing chaos in one place he moves to another place and does chaos there, and never actually stops anywhere for long, at most around the time it takes to steal food from someone and eating it before youre caught or possibly taking a catnap. hes chaos personified, he doesnt really need magic artifacts or spellbooks to do chaos or magic, so he doesnt really need anywhere to store that stuff. if he needs something he takes it from wherever and leaves it wherever. altho def think klarion enjoys theft and stealing stuff just cus he wants it so it would make sense hes got like a lil nest of stolen shiny stuff hidden somwhere even if he doesnt live there

the point is, vandal does not allow klarion into his kitchen unsupervised (not that that helps since klarion refuses to listen) and hes NOT eating anything klarion cooks (could be poisoned) (definitely has cathair in it) (vandal knows that because he SAW teekl put her paw in the batter) (theres hazelnuts in the brownies) (vandal doesnt like hazelnuts) (or cathair)