#fluffy but rick is still a manipulative bastard | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ssickprimus · 2 years

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Jerry teaches Rick how to cook

A/N : i stared at this for a long time, like really LONG time, unable to conjure anything humane and normal. so eventually, i stopped trying and it’s just, well, it’s rick & jerry doing cute stuff, but also not really lol. and this isn't beted, bc yeah, i die like a man.

....

Cooking was one of those activities, that Jerry kept mostly to himself. Engaging in it, either when it was a special occasion, or when he had nothing better to do, and no one was around to judge him. Mainly, Beth.

He didn’t feel like doing it too often, and then, at times when he did felt like cooking just because he could, well, there wasn’t much gratitude for his efforts. He wasn’t bad at it, and he knew, that the kids actually loved, when he was the one cooking dinner, instead of their mother.

But there didn’t seem to be much point in it.

Beth tended to get all defensive over ‘who would be behind the stove today’, and he rarely had a chance to win this fight. If he had to guess, that it had less to do with the fact, that she wanted to prepare the dinner and more with just not letting him do it. Petty for petty. Eye for an eye, or in their case, just who would cook, and who would throw away the trash.

Usually, it didn’t bother him too much. Many things stopped getting under his skin, after a while. But he couldn’t fully repress all of it, not when there was a new ‘threat’ inside the house. Looming over his shoulder and ready to spring yet another sharp comment his way.

“What?” he girth out, not turning to face Rick, but knowing, that the old man was hovering there, staring at him for at least two minutes now.

“Nothing.” Rick replied just as stiffly.

“Then why are you here?”

He expected usual rudeness, but oddly enough Rick was silent and it sort of unnerved Jerry. Usually, his father-in-law would find a thing or two to throw his way. Insult him or just be mean by default, but this time, it seemed like he didn’t have anything smart to say.

“Okay, you’ve – you’ve got me, maybe I do need something.”

Right.

Of course, he did!

Jerry glanced at the old man over his shoulder, not trying to mask his irritation. It was one of rare days, when he could do whatever he wanted, be it gardening, binge watching some dumb show or in this case, baking himself some cookies.

It was a very simple and almost mind-numbing task. He just wanted to do something and not think about anything particular. Surely, not anything of importance. Just be content with what he was doing at the moment.

The kids were out, and Beth was at work. He was surprised, that Rick didn’t vanish as well, since he came to pester him, only when he wanted something specific or was bored out of his mind. And Rick didn’t seem like the latter was his reason for sticking around, so it naturally made Jerry paranoid. Whatever his father-in-law was plotting, it won’t be good for him.

“I’m just –” the old man frowned and looked to the side, rubbing his neck in what Jerry almost took as sign of embarrassment. Huh, weird. Rick and embarrassment? Something must have died in the forest this morning. “I don’t –”

“Yeah?” Jerry propped himself against the table, watching him with crossed arms. Skeptical as ever. He didn’t trusted this show for one second.

“Can you –” Rick chewed on his lip, now looking somewhat pissed off. He clearly struggled with himself. “Can y-you help me with something?”

Rick’s last sentence slid into a mumbled, hissy mess, but Jerry still was able to make it out. And it took him aback. Truly and fully so.

“I – ahh um…” Jerry paused, not sure how to react. This sounded so uncharastically polite coming from Rick, that for a second, he started feeling a nagging worry, that something might have been seriously wrong here. “But what is –”

“It’s – this is important, Jerry!” Rick suddenly snapped (and it was more like it, honestly), and with two fast, big steps reached toward him, roughly grabbing Jerry’s arm, yanking on it.

“W-wait, Rick!” Jerry squicked out, not having time to do much as the old man started dragging him toward the garage. “Wait, where – where are we going!?”

Rick ignored him.

“Rick!”

He just wanted to make some cookies, darn it! Whatever Rick wanted out of him, it most likely wasn’t worth it. Oh gosh. What if he – what if he wanted to do something terrible with him, because no one was home?? Oh shit….oh god!

“Th-this – that’s really – like r-really serious, Jerry!” Rick rambled, still tugging him along. “Y-you – you have no idea!”

“Y-yeah, I –owww, easy, would you!?”

“N-no time! We – we don’t have much time, Jerry!”

“Much time for what?”

Rick was fully ignorant of Jerry’s growing discomfort, or maybe, he just didn’t care. Either way, Jerry won’t go down without fighting! Well, kind of fighting. Or whining, more likely.

“Riiick!”

“We – you’re going to – I need your help, didn’t you listen!?” Rick accused, spitting a bit of saliva on Jerry’s face, who immediately cringed, still trapped by his hold. “I – I – I was trying to tell you, Jerry! Y-you – you just never listen, do you? Dear G-god. Y-y – you’re worse, than a Morty, when – when it comes t-t-to listening, Jerry! Is this some – some ear disease? Do you have an ear disease?”

“What…no!”

“Then, help me!”

“Help you with what?” Jerry questioned for n-time it seems, allowing Rick to guide him right to his working table. “What is –”

“Help me w – with th-this!” the old man pointed at the table, letting go of him with something, that seemed to remind Jerry of an ill-placed triumph. Like it was the moment, where he should have got the wind of the situation. “This is it, Jerry! This is the – this is the moment, when – when you can finally do something big, Jerry!”

Jerry rubbed his wrist, also glancing down at it. And okay, now he was beyond confused. What the actual hell was this even? “I don’t get it.”

“Your moment, Jerry!” Rick reminded him, as if this was one true calling for him or something. “It’s here! Ri – right here, jerry!”

“Uhhh?”

“Y-your time has come, Jerry!” Rick made a serious face, and placed a heavy hand onto his shoulder, while the younger man just sort of stood there, perplexed and uncertain. “This – that’s your moment, Jerry! A moment f-for you to shine!”

He made a waving gesture with his free hand, like he was pointing at the horizon or something just as inspiring, but Jerry’s unsureness only deepened. He didn’t know what Rick wanted him to do.

“This!” Rick pointed at the table again.

“Okay, but what exactly do you want me to do with it?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Jerry’s attention returned to a mess of something on the table. It seemed like a bunch of ingredients, maybe? A bag of powder-like substance, a few other bags with odd things, that reminded him of Rick’s weird alien food in the kitchen’s shelf. But he still didn’t know what he was supposed to do with all of this. Mix it up or…?

“…yeah, it is.” Jerry said, swallowing. Getting more nervous by the second. “But some instructions might be nice. Just in case, y’know?”

Rick rolled his eyes. “Cookies, Jerry.”

He blinked. “Excuse me?”

The older man let out an exasperated sigh and gripped Jerry’s other shoulder, yanking him closer, almost nose to nose. He really had no idea what personal space was, did he? “I need you to make me the – make me the cookies out of it.”

“Make you…” Jerry blinked. “C-cookies?”

“Yes, Jerry.” Rick repeated, losing his patience. “Y-yes, the cookies. Make grandpa – you need to give me those cookies, Jerry. I – I mean, make me these cookies.”

Jerry’s brows knitted together. “That’s it?”

“Uh, yeah?”

They stared at one another, as Jerry was slowly overcoming his distrust over how simple, and oddly innocent the request was. Things were never this plain with Rick. And he never wanted something this mundane from him before.

“So you want me to bake you cookies out of this - uhh - that stuff and –” Jerry leaned away from him, searching for any sign of a lie in Rick’s expression. “And that’s it?”

“Yeah.”

“For real?” Jerry looked around them. “No double bottom in this one? No dangerous consequences?”

“I’m asking you t-to make me cookies, not a nuclear bomb, Jerry.” Rick hissed. “Yesh, so – so paranoid, are you?” he then, cleared his throat, taking a step back as if recalling that he has to be nice to him for once. “But yes. It’s – that’s it.”

Jerry raised one brow up. “Huh.”

“So y-you’re – will you do that?” Rick asked this with a bizarre amount of hope.

“Well…”

Jerry looked at the mess on the table once again, considering it. Did he have to do anything for Rick? No, not really. Far from it, actually. But the old man asked him almost nicely, and it’s not like it will take all that much time, anyway. He can go back to baking regular cookies right after that.

Finally, Jerry half-shrugged. “Ah, yeah sure. I guess…?”

Rick’s face instantly lit up. “Alriiiight! That’s what I’m talking about!”

Then, he just proceeded to look at Jerry, expecting whatever wonder to happen out of thin air, apparently.

“We will need - uh – a bowl and a mixer to bake cookies, Rick.” Jerry pointed out, growing uncomfortable with Rick’s fingers digging into his shoulders. He was yet to release him or even to get out of his face fully.

“Makes sense, yeah.”

“Great.” Jerry rubbed his nose bridge. “Can you bring me some?”

Rick’s eyes slightly widened, as if in shock. “Who? Me?”

“Well, yes.” Jerry drawled out, feeling more bold, now that it was established, that Rick needed his help. “I won’t do everything on my own! You can at least help me out in small ways.”

For a second, it looked like Rick was about to flip him off, but surprisingly, he did the opposite of it. Oddly compliant and ready to do his part. Or well, as ready as he could be.

“Alright-alright, I’ll – I’ll get that shit for you.”

“Thank you.” Jerry offered pleasantly, when Rick went back to the kitchen, muttering under his own breath. If his father-in-law thought, that he could sit this one out, while Jerry would have done all the work, he was solemnly mistaken. “And while you are there, can you also bring me some cookie sheets?”

More grunting followed.

“A wh-what now?”

“It’s like the – uhh – it’s on the counter. Looks like a sheet list?”

“Ohh.” there was some noise, and then some drag of the feet against the floor. Rick was probably looking everywhere, but at the place he needed, until, “Got it.”

“Good. Bring it in here and let’s do some cooking!”

He stared down at an odd collection of foods and ingredients, feeling a bit more positive about this, then he did before. “Okay…let’s do some magic.”

Jerry cracked his knuckles, getting back into the mood. Baking cookies together, sounded peaceful enough for a shared evening with his usually unbearably chaotic father-in-law. Surely nothing can go wrong, right?

“Why did you ask me to do it, anyway?” he asked after a few minutes, mixing what eventually was going to be a dodge for the cookies. It smelled a bit weird, but he supposed, that it was natural. He had no idea if the substance was even sweet or not.

“Wh-what?”

“I mean…” Jerry gave him a curious look. “Can’t you do it yourself?”

“If I could I wouldn’t have – I would have needed to ask you, Jerry.”

“So you really can’t cook, ah?” Jerry paused, glancing into the bowl, where a mix of strange aliens cookies was only half-done. It didn’t seem all that bad now, but the odd purple color was certainly a turn off.

“And if —” Rick cleared his throat. “And if I can’t?”

“I can teach you.” he was already regretting saying it, but the old man made a weird noise, getting up from his seat, like he was waiting for this moment.

“What for?”

“So that you can do it by yourself in the future?”

Rick stared at him for a bit, before he closed the gap between them, lightly hitting Jerry with his bony hip. “Alright show th–the – show me what you’ve got.”

Jerry couldn’t fight off a smile off his face. It was very rare, when he got to share his interests with someone. Less so with someone from his family.

“Alright, first you need to –”

He wasn’t a total disaster at explaining, but it seemed like Rick listened to him only partly, mostly just staring at him and occasionally nodding, as if creating an air of interest. But it wasn’t all that bad, since Jerry found it pretty easy to just get lost in cooking, instead of paying too much attention to what was possibly happening inside Rick’s head.

Jerry was pretty sure, that at least an hour should have passed, since Rick had dragged him in here, but he didn’t mind. The cookies, that he was making still looked sort of odd, and very unearthly, but some extra chocolate-like bits made it seem more eatable, than it was before.

He wouldn’t have risked it anyways, but he was curious what they might have tasted like.

“If you wanted some homemade cookies, you could have just eaten some of my usual ones.” Jerry supplied, attempting to be casual, since they were technically bonding and all. “I wouldn't have minded.”

“It’s – this isn’t for me.” Rick said, putting some of the cookies on the cookie sheet, like Jerry had asked him to. “It’s for th-the business.”

“You opened a bakery?” Jerry joked, because geez, was this a ridiculous imagery.

“No, but I –” Rick clicked his jaw shut, suddenly hissing at him, “Don’t snort this stuff, you moron!”

“Wha…?” it was just some powder, that he accidently poured over the bowl. He didn’t mean for it to plow into the air, and cloud close to his chin. “It’s not – ew, it smells strange. What is this?”

“Nothing for your – nothing for you to question!”

“But –”

Rick pinched Jerry’s nose shut, and sort of pushed him out of the way. “I said, don’t breathe it in, Jerry! Can’t you – you do have an ear disease, don’t you? You can’t hear shit!”

“I didn’t – ow!” he recoiled from Rick’s grasp, watching the old man doing the rest by himself, so clearly he did remember some of Jerry’s teaching. “Why can’t I breathe it in?”

Rick side-glanced at him, looking somewhat nervous. “Because you might get allergic, Jerry.”

“…why?”

“I don’t know, aren’t you – don’t you have any allergies?”

Not that he knew, but it was slowly getting more and more weird, as Jerry looked around them. Taking in how shifty Rick’s behavior became the second he nearly inhaled some odd substance, and the smell –

“That’s not some cosmic illegal drug cookies, is it?”

Rick’s eyes darted from left to right, as he hunched somewhat protective over the bowl, before deadpaning, “No.”

“Then –”

“Jerry, stop asking me th-that – stop asking stupid things and just – just do what I’ve asked you to do.” Rick snapped, grabbing his wrist and tugging him back to the table. “Y-you have one job, dawg. Just one – you have one job, Jerry!”

“Alright-alright, I’m doing it!” Jerry exclaimed back. “I’m doing it!”

“Do it faster!”

“I can’t do it faster, when you – why do you have to be this close to me!?”

“To – to –” Rick’s drool dripped down on his shoulder, which was strange, since he wasn’t drunk yet. “Just do the thing, Jerry!”

“This is the last time, when I’m helping you!”

After a few more miserable attempts to do some sort of damage control and some endless banter, the cookies were finally inside the oven, and Jerry was sort of covered in that powder, that Rick told him not to breath in and –

He was feeling kind of weird now. A bit dizzy, but also lightweight, like he was slightly tipsy.

“Am…I’m going to die?”

Rick sends him a surprise look. “N-no. Wh-why would you think that?”

“I dunno…” Jerry whined, as everything sort of swayed around him and all over him…? “I feel strangeooo – I mean, stranga – I mean –”

“Don’t be a little bitch, Jerry.” Rick told him, wrapping a long, bony arm around Jerry’s shoulder and smearing his cheek with rusty, awful unclean breath. “This was – this was your moment.”

“My moment?”

“Yeah, we – we made these cookies and it’s going to be a hit, Jerry!” Rick rocked them from side to side, like it should have made Jerry feel inspired, instead it only made him choke on air, since Rick’s hold was yet to move away from his neck. It just kind of slid from his shoulder to his neck. Can something slid upwards?? “It’s – this is going to be a world changing cookie!”

“Oh, okay.” this didn’t sound all that bad. “That’s good?”

“A cookie made of – of seven forbidden, illegal ingredients from all over th-the – the galaxy!”

Jerry’s brain was too slow to follow, but he frowned anyway, feeling a pang of doubt. “Wait, did you just say for – oh…”

Rick pressed a finger into his nose, giving him one of those wild, scary looks of his. “And it’s all thanks to – to you, Jerry!”

“To me?”

“Yeah, I’ve – I’ve needed some extra DNA on them to – to make it work, Jerry!” Rick explained, but Jerry could barely make out the words, let alone combine them together into something coherent. “This year, it’ll be a hit of the – it’s be Rick and Jerry cookies, that are – that will fuck up brains of many aliens out th-there, Jerry!”

“R-rick, you’re choking me…” Jerry forced out, unable to lean away from the older man, who was getting more and more into that rambling mess of words and –

“We are going t-to rule over them with those cookies! Gonna be cooler, th-than the movie – you know the movie, the one with the – uhhh – the thing?”

“Wh – hckk!”

Rick pressed their faces uncomfortably close together, still speaking nonsense. “It’s gonna be human-trafficking Rick and Jerry’s business with – with cookies! Drug-dealing ring of – our drug-dealing ring!”

Jerry could only make a weird, airly noise, mostly just dangling in his grip and distantly thinking, that hey, at least, it seems like he has a job now.

Besides, when there is a credit to be given. He would give one. Rick was good with names. Because 'Rick & Jerry's drug, human-trafficking ring business' sounded hella nice to his clouded and slow brain.

#ask #jerrick #but very light version of it #ficlet #fluffy but rick is still a manipulative bastard #ref to more sinister stuff than meet the eye

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