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fuckingfinwions · 3 years

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About the guards: Maedhros chose people who he knew wouldn’t make a fuss about Fingon’s treatment, so in a way, yes, he did select guards with sadistic impulses, though he wouldn’t put it that way. He’d say he chose reliable people. They are pissed because 1) Fingon came for Maedhros but no one came for them, 2) Maedhros killed their friend because Fingon lied about him. Neither is exactly Fingon’s fault, but who cares?

Maedhros would never admit it, but sometimes he pretends not to notice the unnecessary cruelty of the guards because then he can appear kinder to Fingon and condition him to develop a dependency from Maedhros (poor Fingon does need to google how not to develop Stockholm Syndrome). Fingon is smart enough to realize this, but it doesn’t help him at all. Not when he’s lying frozen and in pain after a rough treatment from the guards, who tell Maedhros that Fingon was misbehaving and that’s why they did that, and Fingon is terrified that Maedhros will punish him too as he usually does and repeats over and over again that he didn’t do it, then Maedhros tells him ‘I know’, treats his wounds, wraps him up in warm furs and blankets and holds him in a way he knows makes Fingon feel comforted and safe. (And then fucks him gently, which Fingon doesn’t want, of course, but also doesn’t protest because he’s afraid to anger Maedhros and end the pretense of kindness.)

Things will definitely keep getting worse for Fingon. After another escape attempt, Maedhros may decide that Fingon can live with a broken leg or two. If he tries to hit Maedhros or to fight back, he will have a broken finger, then two, then his hand may be broken. If he’s strong enough to fight, maybe he’s getting more food and water than he needs? Maybe he has no need to lie down when Maedhros isn’t there to fuck him and instead should be chained to the wall the whole time? If only he was good, Maedhros would be kinder to him, but Fingon is doing this all to himself by not obeying Maedhros’s every whim and not being grateful enough that Maedhros treats him the way he does. Maedhros would have killed for someone to treat him the way he treats Fingon when he was Morgoth’s prisoner. Clearly, Fingon is just spoiled.

I imagine him finally escaping and running through wilderness, covered in nothing but a blanket, constantly terrified that he will be found and dragged back again. Then he finally reaches Dorthonion, where he’s treated like a person, where he gets to wear clothes and sleep in a warm bed for the first time in decades. But he still doesn’t feel safe, he still feels like any minute the door will open and Maedhros will come in. And then imagine the huge relief he feels when he finally sees his father.

Omg, Fingon thinking that Fingolfin might send him back! Ouch, that’s painful! I don’t think Fingolfin would ever do that, but realistically he might be forced to let Maedhros go unpunished because they still have Morgoth to fight and he can’t afford to lose a huge chunk of his forces. So they can’t even tell anyone what Maedhros has done because it would still create a divide. So what are they going to do? The most believable version is that Fingon has been captured by Morgoth and escaped, but then he is going to be distrusted and ostracized as a former thrall. People are going to demand to remove him from the line of succession, maybe even lock him up. Fingolfin won’t do it, but the threat is still there.

Maedhros would have to sit at war councils and Fingon would have to bear his presence and pretend (probably very badly) everything’s fine. And if Maedhros slips into his chamber one night, Fingon can’t make a fuss, he doesn’t want to divide the Noldor again, does he? Though Fingolfin probably wouldn’t hold back from killing Maedhros this time if he knew he raped his son under his own roof. (A slightly darker and more coldly pragmatic Fingolfin would tell Fingon to endure it for the sake of the Noldor. He isn’t going to send Fingon back to Maedhros, so Fingon can do him a favor and shut up and take it once in a while.)

You’re right, Fingon isn’t the type to stay in his place while others are fighting for him, so he might very well be at the siege of Himring. Him trapped in the fortress with Maedhros is the stuff of nightmares! He will be very well-protected, of course, Fingolfin won’t want him alone even for a second, but he would still feel exposed and Maedhros would still try to corner him alone.

Maedhros’s brothers would certainly come to his aid against Fingolfin. Even if they found out what Maedhros did, they would at best be like ‘what the fuck, man, that’s fucked up’, but still support him.

Outofangband’s dark Turgon AU sounds super interesting. He already dislikes the Feanorians in canon, make him slightly darker and he could do monstrous things to them.

Thank you so much for letting me ramble. If you want me to stop, just tell me and I will. No hard feelings.

This is just amazing, nonny. I've been trying all week to think of as good a reply as it deserves.

I'm not surprised that selecting for guards who will keep a sex slave secret also ends up selecting sadistic assholes. Them using Fingon's accusation and the other guard's death as a justification for their actions (including possibly retroactively, I doubt they were kind before that) is great.

Oh wow, the list of "privileges" Maedhros thinks Fingon can do without. Presumably he'll let Fingon's leg heal, if Fingon behaves. If Fingon doesn't behave, I wonder if he could be tied up such that his leg heals crooked and he can't run fast. (Downside: that would make him less pretty.)

The thing about not needing so much energy if he's going to use it to fight is also great. Maybe he's fed just enough to stay alive most days. But when the guards see a rider approaching from Himring, that's their cue to give Fingon a bit more food, especially simple carbs that will give him energy quickly. That way he can be more "enthusiastic" during sex rather than just lying there limply. (To be clear, the guards aren't hiding their neglect from Maedhros. He totally ordered them to do this.) Most days though, he has just enough energy to stay upright, and not choke in his collar that's chained to the wall. (Maedhros learned the lesson from his own rescue, of don't chain them by a body part whose loss is survivable.)

On the days Maedhros visits, Fingon has enough energy to move around, and to talk, and to think about something other than how hungry he is. Maedhros has him in a bed, with soft blankets, and cuddles him so they're both warm. It's the best part of Fingon's - week? month? he has no way of keeping track of days - even with the unwanted sex. Fingon knows it's rape, but Maedhros is gentle, and makes sure it's pleasurable for them both, and over time such a harsh word doesn't seem to fit.

The escape! Traveling for miles wrapped in nothing but a blanket, his feet getting torn up, only focused on that he needs to go West. And wow, yeah, not feeling safe until he sees his father, and he can relax and know that someone will take care of him and mean it this time.

Also, all the healers who have the most expertise with injuries from captivity are the ones who helped when Maedhros was rescued. If they get the "escaped from Morgoth" story, they might reassure Fingon with telling him how his friend Maedhros was able to make a full recovery, isn't that good? That Fingon will be so physically strong? (arms pinning him down, a hand around his throat-) That Fingon is no more corrupted than Maedhros is?

I bet after the former thrall story gets out, someone sympathetic to Fingon pulls him aside after a court session. "I obviously don't believe the rumors about you being controlled. But they might die down if you let town for a while, let everyone find something new to gossip about. They say Himring welcomes former thralls, you wouldn't have to deal with all this suspicion there." Fingon just barely avoids vomiting at the suggestion.

I think Maedhros would be too smart to rape Fingon under Fingolfin's roof? He might act like they just had an argument and are on a break, but he wouldn't physically force Fingon when he knows Fingon could get away. He wouldn't be above bribing one of the servants to let him in to Fingon's room for a private discussion though, and kissing Fingon while Fingon is still too shocked to react. (although that coldly pragmatic Fingolfin would be so terrible for Fingon. Maybe he heard that Fingon had been raped in his room, and said "You can move to a different room if you think that will keep him from finding you, but please come up with a good excuse for why you're doing so."

I'm picturing Fingolfin and Fingon going to attack Maedhros. Then they're attacked by Morogth and has to retreat into Himring. Things are tense, but Fingolfin makes it clear to Fingon that any judgement against Maedhros is only delayed, not avoided.

Then word comes that there's the banners of another elven host on the far side of the besieging orcs. And it's Himlad, with Clegorm and Curufin.

Fingolfin stops talking about bringing Maedhros to justice. He still reassures Fingon that he'll be safe, Fingolin won't let anyone touch him, there's guards loyal only to Fingolfin on his door at all times. They'll be able to leave Himring soon, and Fingon will never have to see Maedhros again, or come back to this corrupted place.

But they both know that killing Maedhros is not likely to happen, no matter how much he deserves it.

#fucking finwions answers #fingon/maedhros strangulation au

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djinmer4 · 7 years

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Magpies

One for Sorrow

He’s been on borrowed time ever since Fingon fell and so he too falls. It’s been pain and more pain, watching his brothers die and his people fail over and over again. There can be nothing worse than this. So in the end he surrenders to despair and the flames, to welcome the peace of death and the end of his regrets.

He’s wrong. The ocean of regrets from before now seem like a drop when he realizes his last brother, the one who was always there, the one he loved best of all his family has chosen not to follow him for the first time.

Two for Joy

It’s the worst physical pain he’s ever felt, and he would scream with it if he could spare the breath. As it is, he rubs some salve over the burn, pulls his glove back on and keeps running. The earth is shattering below his feet and he cannot afford to stay here. Twin boys, they deserve better than this, better than being abandoned by their final parental figure. They were never enough to make anyone stay, but they were enough to bring him back.

He’s half-mad with pain by the time they find him, but still alive. His recovery is long, measured in decades, but it’s more than anyone else has ever given them and it’s enough.

Three for a Girl

Later they will say he fell for her beauty, but that was actually a very small part of it at all. She’s not a girl, not a woman, not even a princess. Rather she’s a force of nature, bound up in elven flesh and cloaked in her midnight hair, and he cannot understand how that human is so blind. She could be the ugliest orc to walk Arda, and she would still take his breath away. If only she would see, if only she would join them. It would be worth everything he and his brothers had done. If only she would redeem them.

She never does see. And when his blade slides through the back of her son, he realizes that he never deserved to be redeemed.

Four for a Boy

He laughs when Dior stabs him. He’s been enough battles, he knows the wound is fatal. But the fool dies faster than he does, victim to his brother’s blade. They may not reclaim the Silmaril this day, but neither would Dior hold it any longer.. His mother had been worthy of respect, this fool was lower than the chieftains who had betrayed them in the Battle of Unnumbered Tears. They had gambled for the sake of better lives for their people; Thingol’s heir had held onto stolen property for no reason greater than pride.

In the Halls of Mandos, his first words are to his slayer. “I told you so.” And he is not alone in the chastisement. When he finally leaves the Halls, his supporters are a legion.

Five for Silver

When he gets to their rooms he finds his son packing. “You won’t need that.” he seethes. “You’re not coming with us.”

“Of course I am-”

“NO YOU ARE NOT!” He tosses his sons bags back onto the bed and takes a few deep breaths. “What you are going to do is go out there and denounce us.” Tyelpe opens his mouth and he cuts him off before he can begin. “I’ll write your speech for you.”

The Oath was going to kill them all, he would be damned to the Void before it kills his son too.

In the Halls Orodeth asks if having his son reject him was worth what he and his brother had done. “Was Nargothrond worth Turin? My son still lives!” Orodeth is silent.

Six for Gold

It’s irony that ultimately leads to his death. He’s fighting his way up the tower, trying to reach his brother’s side when he sees it. A flash of gold falling down, in the hands of a black-haired, white-gowned woman. The distraction is enough, causing him to miss h;s parry and receive his opponent’s sword to the throat.

“It was a really stupid way to die.” he tells his twin ruefully. “I grew up playing with Father’s Silmarilli, and one flash out the window, and I forget what I’m doing.”

“There are worse ways.”

Seven for a Secret Never to be Told

He doesn’t think he can do this. All through out the trip they’d been battling Ossë, but every time he closes his eyes he can still see the blood, hear the screams. He doesn’t smell the salt in the air, he smells death. There’s no rest to be had, not even when they reach the far shore. Everyone else is falling over exhausted on the sand, but if he stops moving he’ll start screaming and he doesn’t think he’ll stop. As the hours pass and his father and older brother argue, he makes a decision. While everyone else is distracted he sneaks back onto the smallest of the ships. He doesn’t care what everyone else does, he is going back.

“I’m sorry. If I had known I would never have burnt the ships. If I could have burnt in your place, I would have.” These are Fëanaro’s first words when he comes to the Hall. Not even to address Mandos, or his father or ask for his mother.

He stops walking away and considers, then turns around. “You did burn.” It’s not forgiveness, not yet, but he would put as much effort into rebuilding the relationship with his father as his father did.

Eight for a Wish

He grew up on wishes. First, he wished to be as good a smith as his father and grandfather were. Then he wished that the Valar from Manwë to Melkor had never interfered with his family’s lives. He wished his father had allowed him to stay with him. He wished they weren’t all dead (he actually got that one, when his cousins revealed they’d been hiding his uncle during Maglor’s long convalescence). He moved beyond wishing and started acting to make his wishes real. He wished to learn new techniques from other elves, other races. He wished to make a kingdom where all people would mix freely. But most of all, he wished he had gone with his first instinct and stabbed ‘Annatar’ in the gut when he first saw him.

He’s the first in his family after Miriel to stay in the Gardens of Lorien. It doesn’t help. He doesn’t want to be told it wasn’t his fault; he wants to do something to repent. But the only thing allowed in the Gardens is passive contemplation.

Nine for a Kiss

He’s not sure what they first expected him to do when he reached the Halls, but apologizing to his son for burning him to death was apparently no it. Nor did he seek out either of his parents. (He was later disappointed to find his mother had already left the Halls.) He also failed to live up to their expectations by not screaming at Mandos. He did ask for explanation for the Doom. And was surprised to receive it. “I did not cause these disasters. I only speak of what I see, and I did not see that until you defied Manwë.” the god clarified. They spoke often as time went on. They did not always agree, but these conversations opened up new perspectives for both of them. The Halls of Mandos became a more compassionate place, and he in turn started to understand how people could have such differing points of view, but not be enemies. It was enough that by the time his brother (half, but hardly his fault), he was able to give a sincere apology. It took longer for Nolofinwë to accept it, but by the time the younger had left the Halls, they were good friends.

One change he made to the Halls was suggesting that some of the souls would benefit from a less ethereal experience. While some found the cessation of pain and trauma to be relieving and allowed them to think clearly, an equal number were too disoriented and disconnected to interact with other souls or with the Maia. He himself found himself longing for the sensation of touch. Of all the sensations he missed the one he longed for the most was his wife’s kiss.

Ten for a Time of Joyous Bliss

It’s not that she didn’t want to go with them. But she and her husband had discussed this before. When (not if) they went, one of them would have to stay behind to take care of the duties and interests they had in Aman. It hadn’t been certain it would be her, but then Melkor came, and she knew that there was no possibility that he would be the one to stay. So she was the one who returned to hold Formenos.

And hold it she did. Through the displeasure of some of the Valar, through the attacks of the Teleri, the scorn of the Vanyar, and the claims of other Noldor she held it.

(She has a soft spot for Arafinwë. He was one of the first to claim Formenos, but he was the only one to go away after a single conversation. And supported her rule there from then on.)

They all had gone. But she had faith.

And her faith was rewarded. First not-so-little Tyelpe, unable to heal in the Gardens of Healing, with a desperation for activity that she could understand. Then Kano, reluctantly dragged back to Aman by his adopted son. He never expected forgiveness, which helped make it easier to give it. Then Caranthir was released and he came with an army. Then her other sons. And finally, her husband.

She did, however, give him the beating of his second life before telling him she forgave him.

#maedhros #maglor #celegorm #caranthir #curufin #ambarussa #celebrimbor #feanor #nerdanel #fuck how did this get so long #it was supposed to be a short poem #20 lines tops

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