#feeling 1/2 hopeless cause ive already done at least half these exercises years ago and changed my life for the
Text
Reading a new book on love and feeling gradually more and more hopeless ToT
#rant#feeling 1/2 hopeless cause ive already done at least half these exercises years ago and changed my life for the#better already. so like. i already did that growth ToT it didnt find love lmao#(it was good growth and worth it! i just mean like. clearly for ME that specific growth wasnt the#Specific Ones i NEED to find a relationship)#anyway 70 lessons left in this book to attempt! feel absolutely miserable#the other hopeless 1/2 is i have 70 lessons to get through. assuming i did half already then 35 lessons to do#and 70 to read. abd im feeling like. okay so its been 5 years huh.#so what if i do this entire book and still dont have a crush for another 5 years. or 10 or 15 pr 20 or 30#i wanna have sex and cuddle and stay up talking with someone i love getting to know ToT#i can cuddle myself but honestly its not really the same#i am again contemplating what if i tried to just delude myself so heavily of an imaginary person with me imaginary lovet#and just went insane enough to see a person who isnt there and doesnt exist#and accepted no one alivr and real will ever hold me in a cuddle and kiss my forehead#and accept im alone. thats just who mejo is. no one is gonna meet mejo#anyway this book like most love books says to be illogically INTENSELY optimistic so im gonna try to be for approximately 3 months while i#read it. but honestly its making me feel like a big failure.#all the cases in this book sound like they didnt find love cause they actually pushed ppl away. until they learned not to.#but the thing is im painfully self aware and eager and excited to do self wotk. u point out a flaw of mine#i will work relentlessly on becoming aware of it and changing it qnd doing the journaling therapy work hobby changes etc nececarry#so like. i dont push people away. unless theyre 9bviously abusive.
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
witheat
Norma Hulett
artbyamorato
Ana’s Art Blog
lastbooks-blog
B O O K S
theklonoafan
Aries (クロノア・ファン)
1x03deadinthewater
fuck it we ball