#father mat barzal
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overwhelming how much i am grateful; you are her own.
mb13 | mat requests that you and your daughter attend the home game for your daughters 4th birthday. somehow, mat conjures up the best birthday present for your daughter.
If you asked Amelia what she wanted for her birthday, it was to watch Mat play hockey. Not toys or books, she wanted to watch Mat play hockey. Amelia had watched him play on TV and always requested to go see him play in person.
The only thing keeping her from watching in person was you.
You and Mat had been dating for around a year by this point. A year filled with laughter and love. You appreciated the true feelings that were built in the relationship. The only thing that had not happened was you and Mat going public. Of course, it wasn’t that big of a deal. On social media, Mat was popular with the ladies. The thought of getting hateful messages from the media was lingering in your head.
But frankly, how could you say no to your daughter’s only birthday request?
You had met some of Mat’s friends before, along with their wives. In general, they were so kind to you. When some of the wags found out you were attending a game, they were ecstatic. They had invited you to join them to the pregame get together. Of course, you accepted.
“Are you gonna cheer me on, Milly?” Mat asked, grabbing his jacket from where it was hanging.
Amelia had a bright smile on her face, digging her fork into the cake you had made. “Yes!” She replied, food falling out of her mouth.
“Don’t talk with food in your mouth,” You reminded, leaning against the lip of the counter.
“It’s my birthday, don't get mad at me.” Amelia shook her finger at you, sassiness filling her tone.
Mat disappeared back into his bedroom, coming back with a box in his hands. You furrowed your brows, curious what was in the box. Amelia had already opened all her presents from you and Mat. So this last box raised some confusion in your brain.
“What’s this?” Amelia asked, pushing the plate forward towards you.
“Open it,” Mat stated, his eyes flickering between you and Amelia.
Amelia ripped open the box, staring at the blue and orange jersey in the box. Amelia pulled the item of clothing out. It was an Islanders jersey, on the back Barzal was etched into the fabric.
“It’s just like yours!” Amelia looked up to Mat with bright eyes. “Mommy, look! It’s just like dads!”
“It is!” You watched as your daughter excitedly laid the jersey out on the table.
Amelia looked so happy while staring at the jersey. You noticed it immediately. It was such a hearty feeling to see Amelia joyous over a hockey jersey.
“Thank you! ThankyouThankyouThankyou!” Amelia looked at Mat, holding her arms out to him.
Mat catched the hint, pulling the small girl out of the chair. Amelia tightly wrapped her arms around his neck, giddy of delight. Mat held the girl in his arms, placing a kiss to her head.
“You’re welcome,” Mat replied, putting her down on the ground. “I’ve got to go, you are meeting up with the other girls, right?” Mat asked, walking over to you.
“Yes, I am. Good luck, alright?” You smiled.
“I will-”
“Matty, you better play good! If you don’t, you won’t play with dolls with me for a week!” Amelia sternly told him, a serious look on her face.
“I will, Milly. Don’t you worry.” Mat replied, turning his attention back to you.
He placed a quick kiss on your lips before rushing out the door. Amelia had the jersey clutched in her hands, starting to dance around the kitchen of Mat’s house. You were watching her as you cleaned up her mess of cake. Amelia was continuously chanting, “I’m gonna be just like dad.” while parading around the room.
You quickly learned of her new name for Mat, still not necessarily knowing when it started. You just woke up one morning and heard Amelia call Mat ‘dad’. You were shocked, to say the least. More than shocked, you were thankful. It made you think of all the things that Mat had done to help you and Amelia.
It made you feel loved, finally learning what it was like to be treated well by a man. A lot of your previous insecurities fleeted away after Amelia called Mat dad. The insecurities being replaced by love and safety.
The other girls were piled into two cars, Amelia (unsafely) sitting on your lap. Emma, Anthony’s wife, was seated next to you. Emma was the WAG you were exceptionally close to. This was due to the fact that Anthony and Mat were close as well. You met Emma before any of the other wives and girlfriends.
Emma was sweet and babysat Amelia a handful of times.
“We should get there when warm ups are starting, so we will go down to the boards first.” Emma informed the group of girls.
“I swear if they lose today, I will lose my mind. I’m tired of Adam coming home in a crappy mood.” Jen complained, physically face palming.
“Mat’s team better not lose.” Amelia grumbled, looking up at the girls. “Not on my birthday.”
The girls laughed. “I’m sure they will play better just for you, princess.” Jen smiled, patting Amelia’s head.
Once parked and inside, the arena was filled with fans. The Islanders were playing the Capitals tonight, Mat was sure they’d win. Jen led the girls to security, which led to them getting ushered down to the boards to avoid the crowd. Amelia clutched onto you tightly, nervous from the large number of people.
Amelia wore the jersey Mat gave her, a black long sleeve underneath to combat the cold. Amelia told everyone in the group about the jersey, always bringing it up. She was the top entertainment of the night for the group.
You stood next to Jen, who pointed out where Anthony and Mat were. Amelia squealed, placing her hand against the glass.
“There! Momma, there’s daddy!” Amelia cheered, pointing at Mat across the ice.
“I see, Mils.” You held her tight to your body. Though you refused to admit it, Amelia was getting bigger, so holding her for a long amount of time started to tire out your arms. “I’m gonna set you down, okay?”
You sat Amelia down, her head barely popping over the boards. Matt Martin skated over to Mat and Anthony, nudging them. Matt pointed over to you and Jen, leading to both boys skating over to the three.
“He’s coming over, mommy!” Amelia squealed, standing on her tiptoes to look over the boards.
Mat stopped before he collided with the boards, squatting down to look at Amelia. He held his hand against the glass, Amelia placing her hand on the opposite side.
“Better play good, daddy!” Amelia shouted, a bright smile on her face.
Mat let out a laugh, saying something inaudible before joining his team. You scooped Amelia back into your arms, following Jen back up to the main area of the arena. Security guards found you guys, leading the group up the box. Everyone got comfortable, chatting before the game started.
It was now nearing the end of the third period, Islanders leading 5-2. Mat had scored three goals so far, he was playing an amazing game. The girls kept commenting about how you were his good luck charm.
In the last minute of the game, Mat scored his final goal. It clicked in your head quickly, four goals for Amelia. You noticed it quickly, watching as he played more aggressively on offense. He was making lots of attempts throughout the night, hoping to score as many goals as possible.
Amelia cheered for the goal, jumping around in front of the glass.
“That’s four! Four points!” Amelia cheered, clapping her hands. You took out your phone, recording a video of her excited reaction.
“Four goals for the big four year old!” Emma smiled, fist bumping Amelia.
The box erupted in cheers, you just taking a sip from your drink. The whole game, the smile on your face was never once erased. All your nerves about taking Amelia to a crowded arena filled with rowdy men seemed to cease to nothing.
The game ended, the Islanders winning 6-2. The girls waited in the box for another twenty minutes before going down to the tunnel. Most of the boys were leaving already. A few were stuck in the dressing room, doing media. Mat was one of them, considering he played one of his best games all season.
Another ten minutes passed, Amelia starting to get grouchy. Soon enough, Mat exited the room, Amelia instantly perking up. She reached out of him, a cheesing smile plastered on her face. Mat took her into his arms, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“You did so great!” Amelia smiled, pressing her hands against Mat’s red face. “You got four goals, Matty. I guess you can still play dolls with me.” Amelia leaned her head against Mat’s shoulder.
“You guess?” Mat let out a laugh. “Got four goals just for you, Milly.”
Your face warmed at his words, your suspicions being quickly proven. You pulled out your phone, quickly snapping a picture of Mat and Amelia. You loved to capture little moments like this, always enjoying looking back at them.
“Four goals for me? Oh! Cause I’m four now! You got them for me!” Amelia squealed, her excitement seeping from her small body. A yawn fell from her mouth, her mood quickly shifting. “I’m tired.” She mumbled.
You and Mat both let out a laugh. “Time to put the princess in bed.” You commented. “For sure, you guys are staying with me again tonight?” Mat asked, leading you out of the hallway.
“Yes.”
By the time you guys got out to Mat’s car, Amelia was asleep in his arms. Mat safely buckled her into the carseat, tossing his bag into the trunk of the car. The radio was kept at a low volume as you guys drove home.
Mat had his hand tightly clasped in yours.
“She wouldn’t shut up about you all night,” You spoke quietly, careful to not wake the sleeping girls.
“Is that right?” Mat raised his eyebrows, glancing at you quickly.
“Yup, every other word was your name.” You replied, your eyes fixated on the man. “She had a lot of fun.”
“Did you have fun?” Mat asked, his focus on the road in front of him.
“I did, you make it hard to not have fun.” You admitted, a small smile on your face. “The girls think I’m your good luck charm, they are silly.” You shook your head, a small laugh falling from your mouth.
“You are, baby. You give me a reason to play good,” Mat replied, causing a small blush to form on your face.
“Better keep me around for a while, so that you’ll always play good.” You playfully replied.
“I planned on keeping you around for a while.”
Your face glowed a bright red, though the dark atmosphere kept it hidden. Your body filled with the feeling you thought you’d never feel again. A feeling that had been long forgotten since you’ve been with Amelia’s biological father. After he left, you swore to never fall in love with someone.
Then Mat showed up and he became your only exception.
#nhl#nhl imagine#nhl x reader#hockey#hockey imagines#father mat barzal#mat barzal x y/n#mat barzal x you#mat barzal oneshot#mat barzal fluff#mat barzal fic#mat barzal#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal blurb#mat barzal imagine
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connecting those brains, skills and souls 🙏🙏🙏
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new episode of carpool karaoke just dropped
-> mat barzal and brock nelson - NY Islanders vs. The Fore Man Scramble
#mat is the annoying kid that wont stop moving around and brock is the father of said kid already used to it#mat barzal#brock nelson#isles#new york islanders#islanders#nhl#nhl edit#hockey#hockeyedit#hockey gif#nhl gif#gif*#mine*
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oh my i just realized Barzy got to reunite with Beau last night and tonight he’s reuniting with Ebs 🥹 sorry if this ruined your day, it ruined mine as well
#mat barzal#new york islanders#nhl#jordan eberle#seattle kraken#LOU I STILL HATE YOU FOR BREAKING UP MY FAMILY#give the sons their father back rn
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it's nice to have a friend
author's note: this is a little all over the place, but i saw a tiktok edit of seven by taylor swfit and then thought to myself, what if i ignore all my wips and wrote childhood friends to lovers with a hint of childhood trauma? and this was born. and if the timeline isn't perfect with reality, oh well. i'm but a human girl. also!! if you have ever experienced or currently experiencing abuse, please know that it was never your fault. you don't deserve to be treated that way.
pairing: mat barzal x reader
summary: wherever mat went, you were never too far behind or the one where you are childhood besties
warnings: cursing (as always), mentions of parental abuse and alcholism, tumultuous childhood, drinking, mentions of sex
there was a saying that floated around in your elementary, middle, and high school days, surrounding you like a warm oversized cardigan.
wherever mat went, you were never too far behind.
the saying could also be flipped, the two of you stuck to each other like glue.
mat, despite not being one for fights, had a bad habit of running his mouth whenever you were concerned. in fourth grade, he used newly learned vocabulary words to berate a girl who made fun of your beat up shoes and nearly got detention for it.
and you had a nasty habit of squaring up with anyone who looked at mat wrong, even if they towered over you.
your friendship worked well because of it.
age eight
you could remember summer days swimming in the pool with mat and liana, laughing as you and mat teamed up against his little sister until his mother scolded the two of you when she started crying.
but there was always a darkness that sat in the corners of your memories like fingerprints that had damaged an old photograph.
you didn't have to try to remember your parents' screaming and yelling at each other, just like you didn't have to try to recall the smell of alcohol on your father's breath. it didn't take any effort to remember the way your hands shook when you locked your room at night and climbed out of a second story window to go to mat's.
you could feel the splinters digging into your fingertips as you climbed the trellis up to his window. you could still feel the way your stomach dropped when you slipped and fell halfway up in the pouring rain, nearly breaking your arm in the process. you could still hear nadia come out and usher you inside moments before mat's eight year old feet came pattering down the stairs.
he didn't even give you time to explain, he just wrapped you up in a hug.
it took you that long to understand it was never raining, it was just tears.
the next week, you found yourselves at the park laying on your backs in the grass.
"what would you do if a genie gave you one wish?" mat asked out of the blue.
the summer sun kept you warm as the breeze kept sweeping in and blowing strands of hair into your face.
"get far away from here."
"would you bring me?" mat asked.
you turned your head to look at him only to find him already staring. "i wouldn't go anywhere without you." and you meant every word, spoke them with as much conviction as an eight year old could have.
mat reached out and squeezed your hand in his own.
"what would you wish for?"
he shrugged. "to be bigger."
you furrowed your brow. "why bigger?"
"so i could protect you better."
age nine
at nine, you and mat were playing cards in your room when the front door slammed. it was like you were on autopilot. of all the times that had happened, mat was never home with you. immediately, you were locking your door and shoving things in your backpack, pulling mat towards the window and climbing out as quickly as you could. the two of you ran to your bikes and biked all the way to an empty field where you collapsed in the tall grass and cried.
mat immediately brought you into his arms, hushing you and running his hand down your braids.
"what if--" he started stopped abruptly to clear his throat. "what if you stayed with me and liana and mom and dad? we could get bunk beds and a night light, if you want, and you wouldn't have to lock the door."
you just sobbed harder into his chest and shook your head.
it's not that simple, you wanted to tell him. but i wish it was.
age thirteen
you never moved in with mat, never got to get the bunk beds, but by middle school, your mom moved the two of you out of your old house. it was then that he started packing two lunches, one for you and another for himself.
things hadn't changed much since leaving your dad in that shitty house full of demons. you still spent most of your time at mat's house (your mom was working). still spent your saturdays going to his tournaments and games. you still cheered him on and let him cheat off your homework on sunday nights.
things shifted though, regardless if you wanted them to change or not. time, you found, never gave a shit about your opinion, thoughts, or desires.
because it felt like just yesterday, you were riding your bikes down the street, racing each other back home.
now, you were helping mat draft msn messages to a girl he had a crush on in your biology class. there was an uncomfortable sensation in your stomach that was comparable to the time you got food poisoning, but you couldn't place a reason for it.
you could paint the pink on his cheeks as the girl replied.
and you would've given anything to be the reason for it.
maybe it was silly, a small crush for the sheer convenience of it all. maybe it was the fact that he'd saved you so many times from the darkness that always seemed to follow you. maybe it was because he was a tether for you, pulling you back when you went too far in your head.
so when he laughed at something she said (which wasn't even really funny), you wanted to go back to the times the two of you would cloud gaze in the middle of the day just so you wouldn't have to be home.
age fifteen
you knew mat was a kind person, knew he was handsome and a good hockey player, that was never in question.
you just didn't realize other girls realized it too.
mat always walked in front of you in the hallways because he could make way through the crowds in ways you couldn't. (he grew like a weed over the summer and while you hated how you couldn't reach things when he held them above his head, you appreciated the way crowds moved out of the way for him).
you were used to him being in front, his grip light on your wrist as he tugged you behind him. you weren't used to walking behind his new girlfriend, chloe, who had the honor of walking beside him.
mat used to tell you how much it irritated him that people would take up so much space in the hallway and make it impossible to move around them.
but there you were, an awkward moving triangle of your best friend, his girlfriend, and you trailing pathetically behind.
chloe was cool. she never felt threatened by your friendship with mat, which might've hurt your feelings if you were delusional. you knew you had no chance with mat, so you'd take him in whatever form you could get him.
lately, that looked like spending time with liana in the stands at mat's tournaments. you would both do your homework before dissolving into gossip sessions while you braided her hair.
chloe even showed up for some games, smiling and cheering as he played. at one game, he scored and came up and tapped the glass in front of you, pointing at you and smiling.
they broke up two weeks later.
age sixteen
you openly cried when mat left for seattle. you were used to times when mat had hockey camps and would be gone for two weeks, a month at a time. but he would be gone indefinitely now.
and leading up to the day he was leaving, you thought it would be harder on you, considering mat hadn't shown anything but excitement. but when it came time for him to leave, he wouldn't let you go.
both of your moms had to pry you apart with promises that he would call and text as soon as he got to seattle.
and he did.
he hadn't even gotten into his new home when he was facetiming you.
you did your best to smile as he showed you around his new place, but your eyes were watering still. he was indefinitely two and a half hours away from you.
"you okay?" he asked when you stopped responding.
you gave him your best smile, but knew he wouldn't buy it. "just miss you is all."
he nodded, eyes going blank for a second before you saw water appear in them. mat wasn't as emotional as you were, and he for sure wasn't as teary eyed as he used to be when you still lived with your dad, but his eyes were watering all the same. "let's just treat it like summer camp," he said. "i'll be back before you know it, and if you need something, you can always call me."
you had no intentions of calling him with your problems, but then your dad showed up at your house screaming and beating the door and calling for your mother while she was at work. the doors were locked, he had no way in, and the police were on the way, but your hands were still shaking.
you couldn't run to his house to hug him anymore.
so you called him sobbing.
he picked up on the second ring.
he was lounging in bed, playing call of duty or something like it. "hey--" he cut himself off and paused his game, jumping out of bed. "what's wrong?"
"my dad," you sobbed.
mat was back in coquitlam in three hours, holding you tight to his chest and rocking you back and forth. you were openly weeping into his shirt, clinging to him. you weren't gonna let him go, and mat wasn't willing to give you up either.
you and your mom spent the night at the barzal's, with her taking the guest room while nadia brought a twin mattress into mat's room under the pretense that you would sleep on it.
you didn't.
everyone knew that you got into mat's queen sized bed and clung to him all night long.
just like everyone pretended that mat wouldn't have to leave in two days to go back to seattle.
just like you pretended like you wouldn't absolutely shatter on impact the second he left your sight.
age nineteen
when mat was drafted to the islanders, you stopped breathing. sure, it was dramatic, but you only moved into vancouver for school.
mat was moving across the fucking continent.
but he came back to seattle, and for a moment, the world was right again.
until he went to new york full time.
and the full weight of his absence hit you like a damn eighteen wheeler.
you'd watch him on the tv, when you used to watch him live in much smaller stands. you used to use puff paint to make t-shirts with his name on it, now they were selling his jersey in the arena he played in.
he didn't pick up the phone as much as he used to. he would respond to your texts days later until you stopped texting him altogether.
you should've seen it coming, especially when you saw him hanging out with instagram models and going out to bars. were you really expecting him to sit at home and wait for you to call him with a panic attack?
you had to get a grip.
so you did.
you threw yourself into your studies, pretending you didn't know his game schedule or stats. and when a cute boy named thomas came along and took interest, you allowed him to get to know you better.
you told him you grew up in coquitlam, that you were an only child, and your favorite school subject growing up was english.
(you never told him that your favorite color was the shade of mat's eyes, that you haven't spoken to your dad since the night your mom left him, or that every night, you fall asleep to career highlights of the best friend you haven't spoken to in months).
you learned he was a business major, something that should've been a red flag, but you were so focused on proving to yourself that you could be loved, that you overlooked it.
you went on dates, had sex, made plans for the future, met each other's families.
but he never met the barzals, despite the fact that you could drive to their house blindfolded.
no, they felt like a precious secret. the world could have number 13, they could have the calder memorial trophy winner, but you would not allow them to have the little sister whose hair you braided, the mother who brought you inside after you wrecked her trellis, the father who covered your scraped knees with bandaids and neosporin when your biological one was drunk at 2pm.
you might have lost mat to the awful curse called distance, but you would not lose his family.
you couldn't afford to lose them too.
now thomas, you lost a month after you turned twenty when you found him balls deep in your freshman roommate.
you went back to your apartment and cried, because it hurt, but mainly because you realized how alone you were. you had no one to call other than your mom or liana. but liana didn't even know about thomas, and your mom was dating a new guy now.
your thumb hovered over mat's contact for five minutes before you locked your phone and just went to bed.
age twenty-three
you were single for a whole year before you met dawson. his brown eyes and salt and pepper hair captivated you.
you were hooked, despite the seven year age gap.
he gave you the number to a good psychologist to help you work through your past and was willing to listen to you talk about it or sit in silence when your therapy session was emotionally exhausting.
he remembered your favorite flowers and brought a bouquet of them to your college graduation and kissed you in front of your mom and the barzals (minus mat, but that was a given at that point).
and on your twenty-third birthday, he proposed.
you said yes while actively trying to forget the dreams you and mat had when you were six.
you were building a fort in his bedroom with thumbtacks and blankets and sheets you'd stolen from around his house. when the project was complete, the two of you found yourselves laying in it, staring up at the blanket canopy shoddily held up by thumbtacks pushed into the wall.
"do you wanna get married?" mat had asked randomly.
"only if i get to marry you," you replied.
mat smiled a toothy grin, it was the only time you remembered him having imperfect teeth, given that he'd just lost his two front teeth. "i thought the same thing!"
and it was the most honest you had ever been. though, that wasn't a strange concept, most people were the most honest when they were either children or drunk. and considering you stayed far away from alcohol (guided by the anxiety in your stomach and the advice of your therapist), your childhood memories held the most truth.
despite not having seen him in years, you still thought of him often. you tried to see if you could remember the sound of his laugh without looking up an interview. you tried to recall the way his hair felt through your fingers.
but you couldn't.
it was crazy how much he meant to you as a child, how you still remembered the order in which he ate his breakfast, but you hadn't spoken to him in years.
you found yourself sobbing at the kitchen table one night as you poured over who to invite to the wedding. liana was a bridesmaid, mike and nadia had to be invited.
but what about mat?
you felt sick to your stomach at not inviting him. when you were in high school, when you'd gotten a grip on reality, you believed he'd walk you down the aisle in lieu of your piece of shit father.
but you hadn't spoken to him in so long.
though you couldn't imagine which would suck worse, not inviting him, or mat rejecting the invitation.
that was how dawson found you, sobbing over photos from your childhood that you wouldn't let him see. and when you tried to talk to him about it, he suggested talking to your therapist.
he broke off the engagement two weeks later. he said he didn't feel "the spark" anymore.
age twenty-four
you'd been out of college for two years now and all you had to show for it was debt and a stupid piece of paper. you were working in a coffee shop ten minutes from your mom's house and wishing you could've gotten out of coquitlam like mat did.
maybe this was your cursed existence, going to the grocery store wondering if you were going to ever run into your father again.
you'd just gotten off your shift at the coffee shop when you stopped by your local grocery store to pick some things up for dinner. it was supposed to be a normal day, but you turned the corner out of an aisle and damn near ran into someone.
"sorry, my bad--"
you looked up and suddenly the earth stopped in its rotation. you hadn't seen in him years but you'd know him blind.
his hands were around your elbows, keeping you upright. his touch almost burned you. it was an uncomfortable feeling, like putting on jeans you loved and realizing they don't fit anymore.
you pulled away, ducked your head, and started walking the opposite direction without another word.
but you should've known he would follow you, like a moth to a flame. or maybe that wasn't the right analogy, you were used to being the bug while mat was the light of your life.
but he followed you like there was a string attached to your wrists and he wasn't used to you pulling in an opposite direction.
he managed to catch up to you in the self care aisle right in front of the menstrual products. any other man you'd known would've shied away from standing in front of the tampons and pads as you deliberated which products to get, but mat's eyes wouldn't even leave your face.
you should've known he was going to come back eventually. you'd avoided seeing him in the offseason pretty well considering you were off doing internships and working out of town in the summer.
but now you were stuck in a dead end job with no passion for anything anymore, feeling more alone than you had ever felt before.
and because nature or god or the universe hated you, naturally, that was when mat showed back up.
when you had nothing to show for the years you didn't speak.
you could see the wheels turning in mat's head as he tried to think of something to say. it was an interesting turn of events that simultaneously sent an ache straight through your heart. when you were kids, he never hesitated to say exactly what was on his mind. now, he was deliberating.
"you wanna come over for dinner?" he asked. "mom's making tomato soup and grilled cheese."
you wished you could've denied him, it would've been smarter in the long run. mathew michael paul barzal could get you to do anything, and you hated that even after all those years, he still could.
you found yourself sitting at his old kitchen table surrounded by his family, dipping your grilled cheese into the soup like you were six years old again.
except the difference now was you were laughing with liana, sitting next to liana, instead of mat.
you'd occasionally meet his eyes from across the table, but it wasn't the same.
when you were kids, you sat next to each other at every opportunity. when you were kids, mat pretended to steal food off your plate. when you were kids, you knew everything about each other.
but you were adults now. and he was effectively a stranger you knew too much about.
after dinner, everyone scattered. you tried to leave, but mat caught up with you.
"what're you doing tomorrow?" he asked.
"working," you replied.
he nodded and looked around. "can i see you?"
you wanted so badly to say no, that you were busy, but as much as you wanted to pretend that he didn't, mat knew you better than anyone else, even if he had been absent for five years.
you ended up going for a walk in the park the next day, deciding that getting dinner wasn't worth the headache of mat getting recognized.
his hands were shoved in his pockets with a baseball cap pulled down low over his face. if you were brave enough to look over, you could still see his eyes taking glances at you.
"how's your mom?" mat asked, immediately jumping into topics you'd planned on ignoring.
you shrugged. "fine."
he nodded and scuffed his feet along the sidewalk. "how have you been?"
"fine." you sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. you didn't mean to be cold, you meant it even less when you looked over and saw mat desperate for connection with you again.
in the end, you could never really deny him anything he wanted.
"life sucks right now," you admitted. "feel like i've wasted my life away here."
mat nodded along. "didn't you say your genie wish would be to leave?"
"i think my words were to 'get far away from here.'"
"you know," he started. "new york is far from here."
you couldn't help yourself. you looked up at him and saw the beginnings of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "are you being serious?"
he nodded. "as a heart attack."
could this be the moment? the moment your life suddenly comes back into color? things haven't felt right since mat left for new york, and maybe moving, being with him all the time, would fix whatever existential crisis you were currently having.
the two of you were packing up your childhood room a month later .
you were on a flight to new york city two days after that.
mat was bouncing on his toes when he picked you up from the airport, having come home a few days early to get his apartment set up.
"you have to meet tito," he said as soon as the both of you got in his car. "you'll get along just fine. my childhood best friend meeting my other best friend? things couldn't be more perfect!"
you smiled though you felt like dying inside. no wonder you two lost touch, you were too ashamed to message him and he was too busy befriending his entire hockey team.
the apartment itself was large. larger than you could've ever afforded, even in coquitlam. mat brought your bags to your room and gently placed them on the floor.
"do you need any help unpacking?" he asked.
maybe a bitter part of you wanted to say no, but you'd waited for this moment for years. you nodded and mat's face lit up like a christmas tree.
while he was putting your clothes away in the dresser, he told you about his team, about his career, and all that you missed. he tried to ask about your life, but you kept up the story that nothing much had happened to you. and for the most part, you weren't lying.
you hadn't spoken to your dad, you hadn't dated anyone seriously in the last year (you conveniently left out the failed engagement. you just got into town, and couldn't afford a plane ticket to fly back to coquitlam just to bail mat out of jail).
but mat was more than content to listen to your work stories from when you were working at the coffee shop. he asked questions along the way, and momentarily, it felt like everything was headed back to normal.
you shooed him out of the room so you could shower. it was kinda incredible how a nice apartment meant that his shower was better than any other one you'd ever had growing up. when you stepped out into the nicely updated bathroom and changed into some gym shorts and a t-shirt, you felt the full weight of your insecurities hit you all at once.
your mat lived down the road from you. he had a twin bed until he was fifteen when his mom could no longer ignore the way his ankles hung off the end. he had posters of sidney crosby hanging up on the walls of his bedroom.
but this mat had expensive bathrooms and egyptian cotton sheets. you didn't get to see it yet, but you were willing to bet he had state of the art kitchen appliances that he didn't fully understand how to use outside of making eggs.
you were fully ready to walk into the living room, where you heard mat clicking through what must've been streaming services (because he could afford all of them), and tell him moving here was a mistake. too much had changed, he didn't know you anymore.
but you walked out and saw blankets and sheets strung up, pinned to the walls with pillows on the floor.
almost on cue, mat's head popped out from the makeshift fort, a bright smile on his face. "i don't have bunk beds, but i thought this would be a nice alternative."
you could've cried. you almost did.
but you sat down on a pillow and watched a movie with him instead.
two months later
mat had introduced you to anthony the second week you lived in new york. anders and matt you met the next week. the rest of the team you met over the course of the two months you'd lived with mat so far. they were all nice, and you could see why mat was so enthusiastic about his job, his passion for the sport aside.
you met his "not-girlfriend" as tito called her the day before. ashley was nice enough, but clearly not in the same tax bracket as you, who had recently gotten a job working at an indie bookstore while you worked on grad school applications.
you pretended to be too busy to notice the ache in your chest when he held her hand, remembering chloe and the nasty sensation internally of insecurity bubble up. you weren't dumb enough to not know you were jealous, insecurity was a closer friend than mat was, you'd known her longer.
and if comparison was a sport, you'd be making more money than he was at this rate.
because if it wasn't the way ashley laughed, it was her smile, or her stomach, or the gap between her thighs.
or the fact that mat looked at her with something more than a savior complex.
you stupidly agreed to go out to a bar with him, ashley, and a few islanders that night. it was dumb, you knew that going in, but you were finally with mat again, why wouldn't you spend every free moment with him?
it turned out to be a mistake.
you were left sipping a diet coke by your lonesome while he was dancing with ashley. you knew you shouldn't have done it, it was a bad idea, but you found yourself at the bar asking for a shot of literally anything the bartender would give you.
but anthony slid into the seat next to you a beat later and fixed you with a knowing look. "where's your diet coke?" he asked.
your mouth dried up when the shot was placed in front of you. your heart was pounding and for a moment, it felt like you could've thrown up.
when you didn't respond, anthony nodded and stood up. "wanna go take a breather?" and he sounded so genuine that your eyes immediately welled up with tears as you nodded.
the two of you walked outside and stood in the cool air, letting the wind hit your wet cheeks.
you looked out onto the street while anthony texted on his phone. "do you want to go home?" he asked as soon as he slipped his cellphone back into his pocket.
you shrugged. "i don't know what i want."
that was a lie. you wanted to go back to a time where mat was just your best friend, before he was number 13 for the islanders, before he won the calder memorial trophy. you wanted your best friend, the one who raced you down the neighborhood streets on bikes, who drove three hours to see you when you had a panic attack.
you wanted a childhood that wasn't tainted with the darkness of your father's mistakes. you wanted to be able to go into a room and not immediately check if you could lock the door. you wanted to be able to fall asleep in a dark room without being deathly afraid.
mat was outside a second later, huffing and puffing like he'd just run a mile. his gaze was fixed on you almost immediately, while he ignored the way ashley hung off of him. "what's wrong?" he asked. he even went as far as to pry ashley off of his body so he could frame your face in his large hands.
in the corner of you eye, you saw anthony usher ashley back inside while you and mat had a staring contest. "what happened?"
you shook your head and tried to speak, but more tears spilled out. mat nodded and pursed his lips before grabbing your hand and walking you home.
he didn't say anything else until the front door shut behind you. you had no intentions of staying in the common area, you just wanted to curl up in bed and cry yourself to sleep out of shame and pity.
"what were you doing at the bar?" mat asked before you could go anywhere. "you still had diet coke in your glass."
your throat seized up at feeling caught, but you stood your ground.
"i didn't think you drank," he continued. "mainly because--"
"because my dad's an abusive alcholic? yeah, you don't need to tell me that, mat, i already know."
"so if you know that, why did tito see you order a shot from the bartender?"
you threw your hands up in the air and shrugged. "i don't know, mathew. why do you invite me to bars when you know i don't drink?" he didn't have an answer. "you don't get to shame me for considering having a drink when a bar is the only place i get to hang out with you during the season!"
"that's not--" but he cut himself off. "what're you talking about?"
"i hardly see you! why did i move across the continent if i have to go to a scary place just to spend time with you?"
"i--"
"i mean it's not fair, you left and now i have to pay the consequences of it--"
"i'm sorry, what?"
"you left--"
"i heard you. did you forget the part where you stopped contacting me?" you rolled your eyes to keep yourself from crying even more. "uh uh, don't do that. don't blame me without taking accountability for this friendship ending."
you blinked.
but mat wasn't done. "because i always called you back when i missed your calls. you were the one who stopped texting me."
"you were too busy!"
"i'm in the nhl! did you expect me to just be laying around my apartment all day? i have practices and meetings and games at weird times, but i always made sure to get back to you."
you said nothing, the tears welling up behind your eyes, but you kept them in. the verbal lashing from mat was enough, you didn't need to further embarrass yourself by crying too.
he kept going, yelling and waving his hands around, occasionally pacing and dragging his fingers through his unruly hair.
but you zoned out.
you could hear glass bottles rattling as your father came up the stairs. you sat on your bed, hoping to god he'd just keep walking. mat was out of town for a tournament, and you were grounded.
your dad stopped at the top of the stairs and looked at you. your heart was racing in your chest and you wanted nothing more than to text mat, but your mom had your phone. "what're you lookin' at?" he slurred.
it was only 1pm.
and your mom was still at work.
but he apparently didn't feel like bothering you because he turned into his bedroom and shut the door.
you could feel the air release from your lungs before you went back to reading your book.
but the peace never lasted long. thirty minutes later you could hear him yelling and screaming obscenities before he opened his door. you launched yourself out of bed and slammed your own door shut, quickly locking it with an efficiency you'd learned at a young age. the door handle rattled and you flinched backwards, nearly tripping over clothes on the floor.
but you weren't a stranger to this situation.
you opened the window and climbed out.
but he was ready for you this time because he was at the front door screaming at you as you rode away on your bike.
you didn't stop pedaling until you got to the park where you collapsed on the grass and cried.
something in your face must've changed, because mat stopped yelling and looked at you, really looked at you.
"hey," he said, voice much quieter than before. "where'd you go?"
you shook your head, tears falling down your face uncontrollably.
"don't do that," he said. "don't shut me out." mat took a step closer to you, but you immediately stepped backwards. he breathed your name, but something in his eyes shifted, like he could read your mind. "i'm not him," he whispered. "i'm not your dad, i'm not going to hurt you. you know me, you know i wouldn't do that."
"you left," was all you could say.
mat nodded. "i did, but i didn't leave you, okay? i would never leave you." he closed the distance between you and held your face in his hands, his thumbs wiping away the constant flow of water from the corners of your eyes.
"but--"
he shook his head. "no, you mean too much to me to leave you, okay? you're my best friend. if you had called me and needed me? i would've been there as soon as i could."
"you would've been too busy--"
he pulled back, a bit bewildered. "when have i ever been too busy for you?"
you held your tongue, knowing that it wasn't him per se.
"what is it?" he asked, his eyes searching your own. "what aren't you telling me?"
so you told him about how you hadn't talked to your dad, and even though you were thousands of miles away, you were still scared he'd find you and ruin your life even more. you told him about thomas, about how you thought he could be the thing that fixed you, but he cheated on you.
you told him about dawson, who was older and more mature. you told mat how dawson got you going to therapy which you thought was a good sign, until you realized he never actually wanted to talk about your bad days. he proposed, you said yes, and then he broke off the engagement when he saw you sobbing over invitations.
your eyes were too blurry to see the way mat's jaw clenched, but you could feel him pull his hands away.before you could even stop yourself, you stretched out for him, but he was just out of reach.
"mat, what," you weeped. "what's wrong?"
"you were engaged?" he mumbled. "you were engaged and didn't tell me?" you expected him to look mad, but the only thing reflected in those deep brown eyes was hurt.
"that's why he broke up with me, i was crying over childhood photos while trying to figure out if i should invite you even when we hadn't talked in years." you shrugged pathetically and gave mat a watery smile. "guess he thought it was too immature of me."
mat's hands were clenching and unclenching by his side, like he couldn't decide what he wanted to do with them.
"please don't hate me," you whispered. "i don't think i could handle it if you hated me." but he didn't say anything, mat just resulted to pacing the living room. "i think my dad fucked me up beyond repair." your eyes never left his profile. if he wouldn't look at you, that was fine, you'd continue to stare at him. "i think i'm too codependent and messed up for anyone to love me." mat's head snapped up at that comment.
"i mean," you continued. "i wasn't enough for my dad to get sober, i wasn't enough to not get cheated on, i wasn't enough for someone to marry me. maybe it's not them. maybe i'm the issue."
"no," he said immediately, shaking his head in the process, crossing the room until he could pull you into his chest. "no. that's not true."
"yes it is! my dad doesn't love anything more than alcohol--"
mat cut you off. "anyone would've been proud to have you as a daughter."
"thomas wanted my freshman roommate--"
"thomas was an idiot."
"dawson couldn't handle me when i wasn't happy--"
"fuck him too. he was thirty dating a college student."
"and you left and i--"
mat pulled you back far enough to look you in the face. "and if i could do it all over again, i'd take you with me." he pressed his forehead against yours. "here's what we're gonna do, we're gonna make a fort and watch the mighty ducks. and tomorrow, we're gonna find you the best therapist money can buy and set up an appointment because i don't like you talking about yourself this way." your stomach twisted at the idea of therapy, hesitant because of dawson-- "and i wanna hear as much as you're willing to tell me, okay?"
you nodded.
"now, i need to see you smile so i know we'll be alright." you gave him a watery smile right before he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "there she is."
you held onto each other for another minute before reluctantly letting go to gather blankets and pillows.
four months later
you hadn't been able to make it to many of mat's games until tonight when they played the devils at home. you sat with sydney and grace and their kids.
earlier that night, you'd gone to your therapy session and cried your eyes out. after years of feeling like you weren't a human being worthy of love, you just started seeing value in just existing.
and mat was as supportive as ever. he gave you space after therapy sessions to process until you were ready to talk to him, if you wanted to. the two of you made plans to hang out at cafes and central park rather than at bars every weekend.
"look at your man go," grace nudged you with her elbow. "he's feeling good tonight."
"i'm sure it has everything to do with you being here," sydney commented. "i've never seen that man more in love than he is right now."
you could feel the heat crawl up your neck as you shook your head. "he's my best friend."
"a best friend who loves you so much, he's willing to keep things platonic for your sake."
almost immediately, an insecure thought popped in your head, but you stopped it in its tracks, imagining the thought on a conveyor belt, moving down the belt until it was out of sight completely.
your shoulders relaxed.
you deserved to be loved, and it if was mat, great.
if not, you'd still have him as your best friend.
a buzzer sounded through the arena and a quick glance at the ice told you all you needed to know. mat was skating into a cluster of his teammates, smiling wide before pointing up at where he knew you were sitting.
grace and sydney jostled you around a little while fans, male and female alike, screamed at the idea of the mat barzal pointing at them.
when the game ended (5-4 with the islanders win), you followed sydney and grace down to the locker rooms. you met up with the other wags and smiled when they greeted you. some chatted and passed time while others rocked babies in their arms. you however were anxiously looking through your photos on your phone, specifically the album labeled mat that you'd had since you'd first gotten an iphone. you didn't glance up until you hear the sound of doors opening.
mat was the seventh person out, not that you were counting. he wore a bright smile when he saw you standing there and immediately crossed the distance between the two of you to wrap you in a huge hug.
"how was therapy?" he asked.
you rolled your eyes but couldn't help but smile. "why do we always talk about me?"
"because i care." he lightly nudged your shoulder. "so how did it go?"
"it was good, actually," you remarked. "figured out and accepted that i deserve love."
if it was even possible, mat's smile got wider. "yeah you do."
"and maybe there are people waiting around for me to figure it out..." you trailed off before shyly meeting his gaze. and before you could stop yourself, before you ran out of courage, you stood on your tiptoes (like you've been doing since he hit his growth spurt in seventh grade) and pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips.
you lingered for a moment before pulling away and loooking up at your bewildered best friend whose mouth was wide open.
"what?" you asked. "did i read that wrong? sydney and grace said--"
"that's all i get?" he asked. "i've waited for this since i was six years old and i don't even get the real thing?"
you furrowed your brow. "what're you talking about? six years old?"
but mat was leaning in and capturing your lips with his own. "six year old mat had the biggest crush on six year old you," he said.
"and what about twenty-four year old mat?"
he kissed you again. "head over heels for you."
age twenty-six
after a less than stellar playoff run, you and mat headed back to canada for a portion of the off season, mainly to visit family.
but it was also nice to get out of new york, even if it was just for a short period.
in hindsight, you should've known something was going to happen. your mother, nadia, and liana took you to get your nails done and to grab lunch while you were out shopping. but you were so caught up in how nice it was to be back home (words you never thought you'd ever say), you paid no attention to the lack of mat time.
so when you walked into the backyard of his parents' house and saw a giant projector screen with blankets and pillows strewn about to make yet another fort, you almost cried.
mat's head popped out from the middle with a smile on his face until he saw the tears in your eyes. "why're you crying baby? this is supposed to be happy!"
"i love you" was all you could blubber out.
mat laughed to himself, taking your hands in his own. "i love you too baby." he knelt down and the tears kept coming down your face. "ever since i was a kid, i thought i'd be the one walking you down the aisle to the man you'd marry because i never thought you'd be crazy enough to fall in love with me."
you scoffed. "i'm definitely the one batting out of my league here, mathew."
"don't talk about the love of my life that way," he said before continuing on. "we've gone through a lot together, and i couldn't imagine getting through life without you by my side." mat took a deep breath. "so tell me, do you wanna get married?" mat asked.
you nodded through your weeping. "only if i get to marry you," you smiled.
#mat barzal#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal imagine#mathew barzal#mathew barzal imagine#nhl imagine#nhl imagines#nhl blurb
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In The Break | Mat Barzal
summary: the Barzal house is at its breaking point without their key member their to save the day.
request: yes/no
warnings: swearing, grammar that I think a four year old would use.
word count: 2.09k
authors note: this is officially probably one of my favourite (soft) things that I’ve written. Like I can’t get over how cute everyone is. But like weirdly enough I can’t tell if I acc like this so I’m just going to how that it had the luna stamp of approval.
You didn’t think would had ever been more excited to have Mat back home as you were in that moment.
Tilly had been teething and James wanted his father at every waking moment.
Your energy was practically nonexistent as your one year old wasn’t sleeping through the night and that meant that you weren’t either.
It seemed that all three of you were at your wits end and as both kids were sat in the playroom with Tilly sporting her red swollen cheeks. James had gone on about how he couldn’t wait to see his father you knew you were being stupid but it hurt you hearing his praise as he had done nothing but spew the negative words that were in your four year olds Arsenal.
You tried to brush his hair wanting to get him ready for the day “I’m home!” Mat called out as he opened the front door making both kids turn their heads in the direction of him.
Before you knew it you were shoved to the ground as they both seemed to finally behave as they stopped their negative moods “hi baby!” Mat cooed as he crouched down and wrapped his arms around the boy.
Tilly waddled after her brother causing her father to gasp at her improved abilities at walking “where is mama?” The hockey player’s eyes lit up as he saw you tuck your hair behind your ears.
A smile formed on Mat’s lips as he so effortlessly held the children to his sides “hi pretty lady.” It seemed that he didn’t take note of the dark circles that lay under your eyes “was thinking we could go get ice cream with them?” His words cause the kids to cheer as Mat kissed your lips.
That was honestly the last thing you needed to hear. Both kids had won the battle of avoiding nap time until their father got home “Til hasn’t had her nap yet.” You pointed out with a sigh.
You weren’t expecting any shut eye during this time as Mat had been gone for two weeks and you did miss your husband. But you knew that if both kids didn’t try for their naps you would be the one to truly pay the price later on “they won’t be that bad.” As all three sent you a smile you couldn’t help but sigh as you nodded conceding defeat.
It was almost like you could have been a fortune teller. Tilly had cried herself to sleep as she was so grumpy without her teddy that not even Mat’s arms could put her mind at ease.
And your sweet little James had been sat on his fathers lap with every chance he could get.
So now you were not only sleep deprived but you were also feeling neglected.
Mat loved seeing how his kids looked up at him but as he held James in his arms and had Tilly in the carrier as you walked ahead of them to the front door.
Getting Tilly to sleep was easy as you simply placed her in her cot where Mat offered to take over in changing her into her pyjamas. James on the other hand began to have a fit as he realised that his father was nowhere in sight as you sat down on his bed with a book “daddy daddy daddy!” He complained kicking his legs “J daddy is with Tilly right now.” You sighed opening the book.
Yet that seemed to aggravate your son further “I want daddy not you.” Again you knew that James didn’t know the gravity of his words but in that moment you wanted to just break down.
You tried to ignore him as you began reading “I hate you momma where’s daddy!” Having children was another moment of learning how to bite your tongue and you had been doing so much better “you think I want to be here either!” You yelled back finally letting your anger go “I’m tired and for the last two weeks you have treated me like I’m not here!” As James flinched your eyes went wide.
Not once in the four years of being his mom had you ever raised your voice “J I’m-” before you could reach out to apologise Mat walked in “daddy!” James cheered.
Mat sent you a look of concern as you got up “think he wants you to read this.” You mumbled shoving the book into his hands as you let the door shut behind you “momma always said this was a book huh?” Mat smiled as he nestled into the mattress as James rested against him.
Guilt drowned you as you sat with your hands around your knees letting the warm water from the shower land on your back before the droplets slowly dripped down your skin. Tears painted your cheeks as you so badly just wanted to wake up and see that this was all just some bad dream “baby?” Mat called out as he walked into the bedroom.
It didn’t take him long to realise that you were in the shower “shit y/n!” Your husband didn’t care that he walked into the shower with all of his clothes still on.
In one quick movement Mat helped you up before he pulled you into a hug “Mat!” You cried as the hockey player reached behind you to turn the shower off.
Your tears soaked his shirt as you realised all the things you are frustrated about, not being able to make Tilly feel better as she teethed, James deciding that he hated you and how you let it get to you. But most of all how Mat came in and ruined the schedule you set with the kids.
Usually you wouldn’t have cared if they missed a day but you were tired and felt unloved and for that you let it irritate you today.
So you pushed Mat away as he handed you a towel “baby?” He was surprised to see the glare you sent him as you wiped your eyes.
Mat stood there with wide eyes “you went against me today.” The only rule you had about being parents was that you two had to remain united and that’s kind of hard when he ignores your scheduling.
He remained silent as you continued “how am I meant to keep it together here when you come in and play god or some shit becoming their favourites all over again.” You knew you were being stupid but it made you want to cry as you thought about it when your throat grew tight.
The hockey player scoffed “sorry that when I don’t see the kids for two weeks I want to go do something fun with them!” He felt like your statement was beyond aggressive as it quickly turned into a screaming match “Mat I told you that they needed to sleep and you still went with what you wanted!” Before he could even think about his rebuttal the baby monitor went off.
Tilly’s cries pulled your attention away from your husband “I would go but I’d hate to fuck with her sleep schedule.” Mat’s words had you rolling your eyes as you wrapped the towel around your body “fuck off Mat.” You spat shaking your head as you walked out of your room and down the hall to hers.
Her eyes grew full as she turned her head to see you “hi my love.” You cooed picking her small body up letting her head rest against your shoulder.
Usually you weren’t one for picking her up and rather just showing her that you were there but tonight you needed a hug from someone who seemed happy to see you.
So you two stood like that for fifteen minutes as your gentle swaying of your body caused her to finally settle “good night my girl.” You placed her back into her crib before you brought your fingers to your lip kissing them before you let them press softly on her forehead.
The darkness of the hallway back to your room reminded you of the state that of chaos that you had left Mat in.
You nervously chewed at the inside of your cheek before you took a final deep breath and pushed the door open.
Mat seemed like a shell of himself as he had the baby cam in his hand as he replayed the footage of you humming some random rhyme as Tilly fell asleep “I never know how you do that with her.” Mat blurted out as you were always the one to save them when the kids woke up in the night.
It was a taken that Mat could never even fathom as he tried everything but most of the time their own tiredness would come back and bring them into a deep sleep.
Wanting to discard the towel you found one of Mats shirts that you had folded that morning so you put that on instead of your own clothes. You remained quiet as you brought the towel to the bathroom unaware of how Mat followed you “I don’t mean to always play good cop with them it’s just that I’m not always around in the season and-” Mat rambled on as he ran his fingers through his hair.
Now your guilt about lashing out at him came out “it’s fine babe.” You shook off his thoughts as you turned to face him “no it’s not.” It was clear that the hockey player wanted you and the kids around more than he got to see you “you’re their great mom and an even greater wife to me.” His hands wrapped around your neck as you hugged him.
Somehow that contact felt different to the one from thirty minutes ago. This time it was with love and care as he watched you smile when his lips pressed against your head “you deserve to be treated better than you are.” Mat had tried coming up with the lecture for James but he didn’t know how to do it without getting angry at his son.
Sure two years ago James was a total momma’s boy who refused to be with anyone who wasn’t you but Mat knew that if James spoke to him the way he had spoken to you, Mat would have lost it.
Maybe it sounded stupid but you had both gone through your insecure moments with the kids and you were now realising that “can we go to bed then?” You yawned finally wanting that sleep that you had waited so long for.
Mat laughed as he nodded “let’s go.” He watched as you pulled him out of the room back into your bedroom where your bed was a sight for sore eyes.
The next morning you woke up to the sound of giggles and Bluey blaring through the speakers of the tv downstairs. Mat wasn’t next to you so he had obviously woken up to spend time with the kids.
You yawned stretching out as you smiled to yourself letting your back comfortably rest on the mattress “momma?” A soft voice came from the door causing you to look up.
James stood there with his plushie that Tito had brought him back from Vancouver over the summer “hi J,” before you could say anything more your eldest was running into your room as he jumped onto your bed and quickly into your arms.
The sight warmed your heart “what is it my baby?” You cooed running your fingers through his hair “I love you,” James looked up at you with tears in his eyes causing you to frown.
Your finger wiped at his cheek “I love you so much love why are you crying?” You didn’t mean for your words to come out confused as you tried to soothe the boy.
James fiddled with your bracelet, a habit he picked up watching you do it when you were nervous “sorry I yell at you in room.” Your mom had told you that you were going to have moments where you knew you were a good parent and this felt like it was that.
You gave the boy a squeeze as you kissed the top of his head “I’m sorry too.” You mumbled with both you turning to the door as you heard someone walk up the stairs “you two got room for two more?” Mat asked as he pressed a kiss to Tilly’s cheek drawing a giggle from her lips.
The sight gave you so much joy as your heart felt full “always.”
#Mat Barzal imagines#Mat Barzal x reader#mat barzal oneshot#hockey imagines#hockey imagine#nhl oneshot#nhl imagine#hockey oneshot#imagines#oneshots#amber writes fics
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girl at home | mat barzal | part 5
pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader
summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.
warnings: swearing, angst, food, fluff, not edited
word count: 2.3k
authors note: it's my bday tmw and i am going out of town for the weekend so i wanted to get this posted!! also, i have no idea how pr management works so i def got everything wrong so pls don't yell at me lol
i feel like this chapter is just like a roller-coaster that went off the tracks and blew up and someones trying to put it back together with tape from the dollar store so im sorry but i hope yall like it anyway and don't hate me pls <3
send your thoughts or come yell at me about this story bc I LOVE hearing from you guys!! It feeds my writing soul. thank u all for the love on this story so far and lmk if you wanna be added to my taglist. also thinking about doing some smau for this fic and wondering if you guys have any ideas or suggestions?
if you asked to be added to the taglist and didn't get tagged it's cause you didn't show up when i searched for you! so shoot me a msg and we can figure it out. also if you want to be added or taken off the taglist please let me know <3
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You didn’t think the situation with Mat’s statement could get any worse. You were already being pestered by your mom, your friends and even other parents at the day camps Nora attended. Mostly everyone knew that it was true that Mat was her father at that point so the statement caused questions to rise. Ignoring everybody’s opinions about it was easy but six simple words from Nora were what broke you.
“I thought Mat was my daddy,” she said softly while eating breakfast one morning. She had been quiet since the day before but it continued when she woke up the next morning. You thought maybe she was just moody and tired but it ended up being much more than that.
It took you a minute to answer, trying to figure out where she might have heard or been told that. It wasn’t that surprising that she might have gotten the impression that he was her dad considering how much time Mat had been spending with the two of you or she overheard a conversation. Kids are very perceptive but you couldn’t see how anyone would directly tell her about the public statement and you had been very careful about what you said around Nora and told everyone else to do the same.
Apparently someone didn’t get the memo.
You had two options. You could lie to Nora about what was going on or you could explain it in the best way you could to her. Lying to your daughter was the last thing you wanted to do but figuring out the easiest way to explain it so she would understand was hard. How were you supposed to explain that yes, Mat is her daddy but he was a fucking idiot and told the world that she’s not even though he said he wanted to be in her life. It would have been so simple to take the easy way out but it wouldn’t have been fair to Nora so after she finished her breakfast, you sat her down.
“You’re feeling a little confused, huh?” you asked, watching her fiddle with a loose string on her sweater.
She nodded, still not looking up at you and not offering her thoughts. It was a bit alarming because she was usually a chatterbox, even when she was upset about something. She would let you know exactly what was wrong.
“Who told you Mat was your daddy?”
She finally looked up at you, and the tears threatening to spill from her eyes made you both angry and upset. You were ready to find whoever told her and scream at them but her answer stunned you.
“I heard you talking to Jaxy,” she whispered. “I wasn’t trying to listen but I was coming out to get some water and you said that you were mad at Mat.”
She didn’t elaborate on what else she may have heard which was unnerving because you probably said a lot of things about Mat that night when Jax came over to talk to you about it. You hoped she didn’t stay long enough for your breakdown where you had cried for thirty straight minutes.
She sniffled, wiping a couple tears away. “I don’t understand.”
Your heart broke but you still struggled with how to explain everything to her. Telling her in the beginning was probably a better idea but you were so caught up in your own thoughts and feelings, you ignored the person who should have been your number one priority the entire time.
“Mat is your daddy, baby,” you said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
I’m sorry I kept you a secret.
“How come everyone is saying he’s not?”
Mat should have been the one to answer this question because it was his doing, but you hadn’t spoken to him since the night he was at your apartment and the two of you argued. He had texted you the day after but you ignored it because you didn’t know what you would say when given the chance.
“Well, sometimes people make mistakes and Mat said something he shouldn’t have,” you explained, hoping it was enough and it seemed to be enough at first but then she hugged you tightly.
“I love you mama,” she said and before you could reply, she quietly asked, “Do you think Mat loves me?”
“I��m sure he does,” you told her and it took everything in you not to cry.
. . .
Liana: dinner at our place @ 6. bring nora and don’t be late!!!
You’re tempted to decline the request and just stay home but you’ve been promising Liana and Nadia that you would actually visit instead of dropping Nora off and leaving like you’ve been doing. Avoiding Mat is becoming increasingly difficult. It’s been two weeks since he released the statement and a week since your conversion with Nora. She’s been asking a lot of questions, ones that you didn’t plan on having to answer so soon. You expected her to be angry with you for not telling her but she took your confirmation that Mat’s her dad with ease.
So it didn’t come as a surprise when her first question was whether Mat would be at the Barzal household for this dinner. You hadn’t bothered to ask Liana, mainly because you knew it would definitely impact your decision to agree to go.
“Did you know that Zoe’s mom and dad aren’t together either?” She says during the drive to the Barzal’s.
You do know this but you humor her. “Really?”
“Yup. Zoe said she spends weekends with her dad and stays with her mommy during the week,” she explains and then moves on to a different topic. You’re a little curious why she would talk about her friends’ living arrangements but when you finally pull into the driveway, your question is answered.
“Do I have to stay at Mat’s on the weekend?” She asks and if you hadn’t already parked the car, you would have hit the brakes.
“No,” you say a little too quickly and sharply because she frowns.
“How come?”
You don’t answer her question right away, getting out of the car and walking around to the other side. She’s already unbuckling her seatbelt by the time you open the door and she’s still frowning.
“Just no, Nora.”
“But Zoe does!”
You can’t explain custody agreements to a seven-year-old so you say the first excuse you can think of.
“He doesn’t live here,” you say, taking her hand and begin walking towards the house. She’s dragging her feet, clearly not happy with your response.
“Do I have to call him dad?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Just ‘cause,” you say, stopping at the door and turning to her. Her arms are crossed and she’s giving you the look that says she won’t let up until you give her an answer she wants.
“Do you want to call him dad?”
She pauses, looking down at the ground and frowning. After a moment she shakes her head.
“No, but Miss. Jones says you’re not supposed to call your mommy and daddy by their first names ‘cause it’s disrespectful.”
“It’s not up to Miss. Jones,” you say gently. “This is new, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
After a moment, she mutters a quiet “okay,” and then: “do you think Nadia has ice-cream for dessert?”
“Guess we’ll have to go inside and ask,” you reply and raise your fist to knock on the door but it swings open before you can. Liana is waiting on the other side with a big smile on her face. Nora runs straight to her and giggles when the older girl picks her up and swings her around.
“C’mon in,” Liana says, ushering you inside. So far there’s no sign of Mat so some of the tension leaves your body. After putting both yours and Nora’s shoes aside, you make your way to the kitchen. Nadia is puttering around, juggling a million things but she still smiles softly when she sees you.
“Can I help with anything?”
“You can keep me company,” she says and points to a chair. “Sit down and update me on what you’ve been up to.”
You know that you can’t argue with her so you sit and chat idly with her. She doesn’t bring up anything to do with Mat and you’re not sure what to think about it. You almost slip up and ask if he’s going to be here for dinner but decide not to. You haven’t seen him around since you arrived, so he’s probably out. Maybe with a girl.
Not that you care, obviously.
Mike eventually pokes his head in the kitchen to greet you and ask how you’ve been. He offers to set the table but Nadia shoos him out of the kitchen, rolling her eyes fondly.
“Don’t get married, they’re nothing but trouble,” she jokes but there’s a smile on her face that lingers even after her husband leaves. You always admired their relationship, and were certain that you and Mat would be like it some day but it wasn’t in the cards.
Soon, Nadia calls everyone to dinner. Nora immediately asks why Mat isn’t here and there’s an awkward silence until Liana breaks it.
“He’s busy,” she tells Nora and that must be enough because she just nods and starts eating dinner. Nothing else is said about Mat but just as you’re all finishing dessert, you hear the door open and close and there’s only one person you figure it will be.
Mat walks into the dining room, clearly caught off guard by your presence. Nora hops off her chair and darts over to him, wrapping her arms around his legs and starts chatting excitedly. He’s trying to give her all his attention but his eyes keep flickering to you.
When Nadia and Mike get up to start clearing the table and Liana asks Nora if she wants to go watch a movie, you realize that the three of them planned this. It’s almost like you’re kids again, fighting about something stupid and needing his parents to help fix the problem.
Mat looks at you a little helplessly when the room clears and it’s just the two of you. There’s no way you can yell at him with his family and Nora in the next room and you realize that was also probably planned.
“Can we talk?” he asks and you really don’t want to, but you realize that eventually you’re going to have to talk to him so you nod. You follow him out the back door and the two of you sit on the porch steps in silence until you finally break it.
“Why didn’t you come to me about what PR wanted to do? We could have figured out something together.”
He shrugs, looking at the ground. “I didn’t think to ask you about it. I just wanted to fix everything before it got complicated. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Yeah, no shit,” you mutter. “That’s something you’re great at. You don’t think before you do anything.”
You jump when he stands up suddenly and turns to face you. He’s angry but so are you.
“No, fuck that. You can’t just expect me to do everything right, when a month ago, all I had to worry about was hockey. I can’t be number one dad overnight! You didn’t even tell me about her for six years!”
You’re a bit taken off guard by his sudden outburst but you can do anger too.
“That is the exact reason I didn’t tell you about her, Mat. Hockey is always going to come first in your life,” you snap. “And I didn’t ask you to be a number one dad, all I asked was that you be sure you wanted to be in her life before you committed to anything because this is exactly what I was worried about.”
He falters a little, probably not expecting you to return the anger.
“I didn’t want to post what they asked me to,” he says, sounding defeated. “But I didn’t know how to say no. When PR tells you to jump, you jump.”
You’ve no idea how public relations in hockey works, it’s possible that they would have posted the statement without asking Mat but you’re so damn angry. You’re angry but you don’t know who you’re even supposed to be mad at now.
“You should have come to me,” you say again. “That’s how co-parenting works, you know.”
His mouth twitches. “That’s what we were doing?”
You can feel the anger slowly dissipating. Mat’s shoulders aren’t as tense and he plops back down on the steps so you sit next to him, letting your shoulders and knees knock against his.
“Well, you are her dad,” you admit. “And she is very concerned about her future living arrangements.”
He looks at you a little confused but there’s a small smile spreading across his face.
“Does she know?”
“Yeah,” you tell him. “She’s smarter than you expect sometimes.”
“She gets that from you,” he says, poking your arm.
You roll your eyes fondly. “Well she had to get her brains from someone.”
He huffs but it sounds more like a laugh. You watch him look at the ground, brows furrowed and deep in thought.
“I fucked up, didn’t I?”
Here’s the thing that a lot of people don’t know about Mat: he doesn’t forgive himself easily. It’s something you learned the hard way when you were younger and dating.
So you know he will beat himself up over this until you forgive him.
“Yeah, but we both did.” You bump your knee against his until he looks up at you. “We can fix it, but we have to do it together.”
He holds out his pinky finger. ”Co-parenting, right?”
You hook your finger around his and nod, letting yourself relax for the first time in weeks. It’s going to take time, hard work, and you’re both going to have to learn how to trust and communicate better again but you're sure you’ll get there.
“Together,” you agree.
tag list: @literatureluster @dasiysthings @barzyblogbabe @diary-of-jj @heatherawoowoo @fallinallincurls @topguncultleader @shadowsndaisies @lovinbarzal @whatthepuckisgoingon @alilstressyandlotdepressy @teapartydreams @keiva1000
#hockey imagines#allies writing#nhl fanfiction#hockey fanfiction#nhl imagines#hockey imagine#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal imagine#mat barzal fic#mat barzal fanfiction#mathew barzal imagine#mathew barzal x reader
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I don't know if you already did that, but can you write when mama got in labor for Angel pls
Warnings: giving birth!
“How are you feeling, baby?” Mat asks, kissing your forehead and squeezing your hand in his.
“Great actually. The contractions aren’t that bad and the breathing exercises are helping out a lot,” you whisper with your eyes closed. You’re beyond tired. It’s about 3 in the morning and your baby boy is about ready to be pushed out.
“You’re the strongest person I know,” he affirms and you give him a cute, little smile.
His thumb sinks into your dimple and warmth emanates from his touch. He’s so gentle in moments like these and it’s quite special seeing him transform into a father, again.
“I know,” you sass. Even though you’re tired, you still have it in you to be sassy. Mat loves it, though.
“Mrs. Barzal, are you ready to start pushing?” The doctor says as she walks in.
You give an eager nod and watch as everyone gets in their places. Mat grips your hand tighter in his and rests an arm around your shoulders to help you sit up.
You get about 5 pushes in before you need to take a breather.
“Okay, Y/n, we see his hair so we just need a few more pushes,” the doctor cheers, but you feel anything but cheerful at the moment.
You push and you push, but your sweet baby is not exactly ready.
“I can’t do this. I can’t,” you cry and bury your face into Mat’s shoulder.
“Yes you can, baby. Just a few more pushes and our little boy will be in our arms,” Mat assures you, kissing your sweaty forehead.
After another round of strenuous pushing, your baby boy finally starts to come out.
“Oh my god, babe. I can see his head!” Mat cheers as he looks at his second child being birthed. He’s so in awe of the whole process and no horror stories can ever steer him away from watching his babies being born.
“2 more good pushes, Y/n.”
You bear down and push with all that you have. Sweat and tears run down your face, but the moment you hear your baby’s first cry, every pain and ache disappears.
“Baby, look! Look! It’s Angel,” Mat cries, crouching down to watch Angel as he cuddles into your chest.
“Hi, baby Angel. Oh my god, Mat! He’s so beautiful,” you cry. You trace the slope of his nose and his faint eyebrows and the curve of his lips. He looks so much like Mat.
“He’s so beautiful. I love him. I love you.” Mat accepts your kiss when you lift your head up. He presses one to Angel’s forehead and settles down with the both of you.
“I love you guys, so much,” you release a sigh of relief, drifting into thought of what your life has become. You’re forever grateful for your, now, three boys.
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you filled a hole in her heart; how she wishes you were there forever
mb13 | after a long roadie, mat turns up at your apartment. he was shocked when he seen your young daughter awake, and they have a small heart to heart.
Mat didn't expect for his trip to be this long.
A whole month long to be exact. A whole month away from you and your daughter. Granted, Amelia wasn't even his kid, but when you saw how Amelia interacted with Mat, it was a dream come true.
Of course at some point you knew you would eventually move on from her father, but when it was with an NHL player... there were some concerns.
Concerns that ended up just like how this one played out, you were just too deep in your own sleep to know it happened.
Mat promised to come straight to your apartment when he got back to New York, and he did exactly that. His hockey bag was discarded by the front door, the whole apartment dark.
It was around midnight, due to flight delays.
He decided to take a shower, a short one. When Mat was done, he just threw on some pajama pants. While standing in the bathroom, he heard a door slowly creak open, small cries coming from the opening.
Mat knew you were fast asleep, you were entirely too heavy of a sleeper.
As he turned on his heels, he heard a quiet, sad voice. "Mat?" Amelia spoke from her door, tears slowly streaming down her tired face.
Mat furrowed his eyebrows at her. "Mils? Why are you awake, is everything okay?" He whispered.
Amelia shook her head, slowly walking to the man. She sniffled, clearly holding back her tears. When she stood in front of Mat, she leaned against his leg. Mat let out a quiet sigh, picking her up into his arms.
"What's wrong, Mils?" Mat asked, looking at the small girl in his arms.
"I thought you left," Amelia sadly told him, leaning against his shoulder. A quiet cry came from her trembling body. "You were gone for so long."
Mat knew exactly what she was talking about. A sad situation of sorts.
Amelia was young when her father left, but not young enough to know what happened. Amelia watched her father leave, and never return. Only earning a simple, "He's not coming back." from you.
When Mat first started seeing you, you made it clear that with time, he was going to be seen as a father figure in Amelia's life. You told Mat on many occasions that unless your relationship was serious, he wasn't going to meet your daughter.
You were overly worried. It was your first time on a date with a man since your daughters father abruptly left. Amelia was three, a small toddler, but smart enough to wonder why her dad wasn't around. Though her brain didn't quite grasp, you knew she was very sad about it all.
But when Amelia met Mat for the first time, and you seen how Mat interacted with Amelia, you knew it was going to be hard if it didn't work out. But is has, for at least a few months so far.
Amelia knew Mat had a busy job, she understood that. But when Mat leaves for the long trips, it confuses Amelia. Sometimes Amelia would think that Mat left and never was going to come back.
Luckily Facetime was an option.
"I'm sorry, Millie." Mat sighed, using his hand to smooth down her messy hair. Mat placed her on the counter of the sink, so that she was facing him.
"I thought you were leaving me," Amelia sniffled, her small body hunched on the sink.
"I'm sorry you thought that, I think your mom and I just assumed you knew.." Mat trailed off, running a hand through his own messy hair.
"I didn't," Amelia deadpanned, crossing her arms.
Mat raised his eyebrows at her sass. "Millie, sometimes for my job, I have to go on the road for long period of time. But I'm always going to come back,"
Amelia just stared at him, rubbing her eyes.
"You are unfortunately stuck with me for as long as your mom allows you to be. Because I love you and I love your mom," Mat tried to joke.
"I'm not stuck with you, I like having you around! You always watch TV with me," Amelia's sad demeanor quickly changed to a more bright, happy demeanor.
"Sometimes I'll be gone for a couple days, but it can get up to a couple weeks. But, I can promise you that I'll always come back." Mat held up his pinky, watching as Amelia latched their pinkies together.
"Okay," She nodded.
Amelia wrapped her small arms around Mat's torso, attempting to pull him in for a hug. Mat picked her up once more, ready to put her back down to bed.
Mat walked to her bedroom door and just as he was about to open it, Amelia let out a whine. Mat paused, looking down at the girl.
"What?" He spoke quietly, his face laced with confusion.
"I have a question, actually two questions," Amelia leaned her head onto Mat's shoulder.
"Ask away, but then you have to go to bed." Mat sternly told her. "Your mom will kill me if I let you stay up."
Amelia nodded, letting out a dramatic sigh. "Can I call you dad? Is that okay? And also can I sleep with you and mom?"
Mat's mind went completely blank.
The discussion of whether Amelia would call him dad or not was ongoing. For Mat, it was like the official title to prove he was the one she thought of as a parent. It put him on the same pedestal as you. And for you?
Well, when the moment would come, the moment of when Amelia would call Mat dad, it made you nervous. You were naive to the notion that hockey players weren't shit, that they weren't the most loyal ones in the bunch.
So for Amelia to put him in the father position in her life, it made you nervous for the slight chance he would leave the both of you.
If only you could see the true and honest thoughts in Mat's head.
"You want to call me dad?" Mat asked, waiting for Amelia's confirmation.
"Yes, and I want to sleep in the bed with you and mom." Amelia nodded, confirming her words.
"Yes, you can sleep with us, and yes you can call me dad.” Mat spoke calmly, but his mind was anything but calm.
His mind was racing, all positive thoughts. That’s the one thing he’s been working towards since he fell in love with you.
Mat was learning, adapting to conform into a father figure for Amelia. He’s taken care of her while she was sick, went to her school concerts and even took a picture with her for her first day of pre-school.
Amelia asking to call him dad just proved his hard work was for everything.
#mat barzal#matbarzal#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal x y/n#mat barzal x you#father mat barzal#mat barzal imagine#mat barzal blurb#mat barzal fic#mat barzal oneshot#mat barzal fluff#nhl#nhl imagine#nhl x reader#hockey
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meeting the family (nico hischier)
day 14 of star’s ficmas
logan barzal x nico hischier (au)
Logan Barzal was scared. The last boy who met her parents was the same boy who completely shattered her heart. When she swore off hockey players, her parents were on her side, not ever wanting to find their daughter wailing on the bathroom floor.
Nico wasn’t going to see his family for the short break. His Christmas was typically spent with the other single members of the Devils but this year he was spending it with Logan. The two had met in Logan’s coffee shop and bookstore she owned, she didn’t know he was a hockey player until later. She hated him for .5 seconds before he promised he wouldn’t break her heart.
Logan rushed around the apartment with her hair perfectly straightened with a red bow pinned in the back. A cute Christmas outfit. “Can you like calm down?” Mat groaned. Their parents were in the kitchen and their sister was watching Logan with amusement. “Nico will be here soon and I want everything perfect.”
Mike and Nadia Barzal hadn’t seen Logan like this since before her prom. Mat had been living with Logan for years and since she started seeing Nico, he noticed a happier sister. Nico Hischier of the New Jersey Devils dating the sister of Mat Barzal of the New York Islanders, who would have thought?
Nico fixed his red sweater, Logan liked when he wore red. Knocking on the door with a bag of presents in his hand, he hadn’t know what to get her parents but Logan helped pick something out. He heard his girlfriend scrambling on the other side of the door, shouting at Mat to put down the cookies. “You’re here!” Logan breathed as she opened the door. “Hi,” he kissed her head as she hugged him. “Merry Christmas,” she greeted him before dragging him into the apartment. “Come meet my parents and sister!”
“What am I? Chopped liver?” Mat questioned as he gave Nico a bro hug. “You already know Nico.” When the two weren’t on the ice, they were pretty good friends.
“Mom, Dad, this is Nico. Nico, there are my parents, Mike and Nadia. And Liana, my sister.”
“It’s so nice to meet you guys, Logan always talks about her family, thank you for letting me join you guys today,” he smiled. “Sweetheart,” her dad started, “why don’t you and your mom and sister go get Nico’s gifts put under the tree.”
Logan narrowed her eyes at her father and Mat, knowing the big brother and dad talk Nico was about to receive. “Be nice,” Logan elbowed her brother as she walked by. “Nico, I assume you know about the ex,” her dad started. “Yes sir, and I know how much Logan means to me,” Nico looked at Logan who was placing gifts under the tree, smiling at her mom, “and I know how much I love her.”
Logan and Nico sat next to one another at dinner, passing around the dishes and Nico kept his hand on her knee. “How often can you make it to Long Island?” Nadia asked. “As often as I can. Maybe twice or three times a week? Depending on morning skates or travel, I bring the guys to her store sometimes,” Nico explained. “I stayed with Nico when he was injured,” Logan smiled.
Logan and Liana cleaned up the table, Mat lingered but got a look from his parents and went to help with dishes. Before Nico went to help, Nadia started talking. “We were nervous, when Logan told us she was dating a hockey player,” Nadia started, “her last relationship, we thought it was going to destroy her, but you seem good for her.”
Nico smiled pridefully, “I’m glad, I really care about her.”
After dinner, everyone sat on the couch, Logan laid into Nico as Mat opened his present from Logan. Nico had received some stuff from the Barzal Family, just basic sweaters and small gifts. Mat thought he was funny, getting Nico a framed picture of a Baby Logan.
“They didn’t bother you too much while talking to you, right?” she mumbled. “Worried about me?” Nico hummed. Her hand glided over his stomach as her arm wrapped around him, “Always am.” Nico chuckled softly as Liana was thrown another present. “They are just worried about you, I told them I won’t ever hurt you.”
“Hey, Lo, stop cuddling with your boyfriend and open this present. It’s from Nico and me,” Mat tossed a small box over. “Nico and you?” her eyebrows furrowed together. Nico sat up a little bit as Logan sat up. “Thought you could use a small location for your place in Jersey,” Nico smiled, as she unveiled a key. “You guys got me a new store?!”
“Down the street from my apartment,” Nico sang. “I still get her here at least four times a week! She’s my sister!” Mat exclaimed.
#nico hischier#logan and nico#nico hischier au#nico hischier fic#nico hischier blurb#nico hischier imagine#nj devils imagine#nhl imagine#hockey fic#star’s ficmas
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id pay good money to see mathew barzal manage a team
#the himbo vibes it would have#the fratboy vibes#he'd sign dilfs and father figures only#mat barzal#isles#queue it
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HOW YOU GET THE GIRL
Mat Barzal x fem!oc
Series Masterlist
ONE
I only like the bookstore during the night, when it’s slow and nobody’s around. The lights are flickering and the town suddenly goes quiet in contrast with the bustle of the busy mornings and heavy traffic of the day.
I only work here on the weekends for the closing shifts or the opening ones. Something to make a little more money to fall back on besides my adult corporate job. My parents are proud, more my father than my mother that I’ve begun my climb up the corporate ladder.
I don’t hate my job, far from it. Simply the long hours and bossy bosses that make me pull at my fingers and tug at my hair. Especially with my youth and admitted naivety, those at my job can be wary about me either in the break room or being hesitant to invite me out for drinks.
I’ve been told by my therapist that I rushed my childhood, skipping grades and taking collage classes while also taking highschool classes at the same time. I want to fight her on it, claim that I did have a childhood and had dreams but I know that I’m defending something I never had.
Two parents who were always fighting; hated eachother but swore to stay together because of their vows, “Hey Bella” I smile at the older lady standing at the counter as I tuck behind into the back room and set my purse onto the table and wrapping my apron around my body, “slow day?” I ask as I switch from heels to converse.
“Yeah, it’s the middle of the school season so all the kidlets are probably studying” she sighs out rubbing her tired eyes, “ok, I’m off. Be safe. Please” she reminds me as she pats my shoulder, “I’ll need you to come in a bit earlier tomorrow for the opening shift, we’re getting a new shipment of books for the month”
“Uhh, yeah yeah I can do that, so 5:30 instead of six?” I clarify, as I clock myself in on the timetable next to the register.
“Yes, thank you Emma. You’re a doll” She smiles and blows me a kiss exiting the building as the cold wind brushes against her; gently pulling at the greying blonde hair that’s always been tucked into a a little bun.
I turn on some music to keep my mind from straying as I walk around the store. Gently brushing my fingers against the creased spines and occasional leather covered book. Those nice collectors editions are always Romeo and Juliet, or Hamlet.
Personally I’ve thought Romeo and Juliet a bit childish and immature, but I’ve always been told I’m looking at it from a modern perspective. I believe that Romeo and Juliet is the way to not fall in love.
But then again, that’s coming from the girl who watched her parents try and fix an already broken marriage by having an abundance of kids and forcing themselves to stay together even though, everyone’s known they’d be better apart. Even their own kids.
I tidy up the reading corner, setting the old book. Princess and the pea back onto the shelf and searching for the one tomorrow.
My my fingers pull and push against the covers of the kids books, looking for something different. I don’t pay attention when the bell jingles and jangles while I hear a heavy step quickly become softer. I hear them physically relax as they walk the isles.
I eventually decide on a book with a unicorn and a blonde girl. Something I fondly remember of my own childhood.
I stretch up a little and let my hair down from its clip, it falls unevenly against my shoulders but I don’t mind or even care that much. This bookstore is my happy place; where I am safe and content within my own body. Here I will never care what I look like.
I view the man searching in the fiction section, something specific I can tell by his body language. If he needs help I’ll allow him to ask; yet I’m wary of going up to a man and guiding him to the book.
When he finally notices me watching him he turns around and asks, “do you know where I can find ‘The road’ it’s uh. Geez by I think by Cormac McCarthy?” He stumbles out; slowly dragging a hand across his face and brushing his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes.
His face is soft but sharp; his eyes evoke a warm bubbly feeling inside me. Eyes that make me feel comfortable being alone with him, “yes, I believe we only have a few left” I tell him, walking off to a different section of the store, “I know, our shop is set up weird” I explain.
“And why’s that?” He inquires, his pace isnt rushed or faster than mine. But relaxed and nonchalant. As if he has all the time in the world.
“The original owners, she has a special section called ‘Meine Leibe’ which I think translates to ‘My loves’ or ‘my life’ once she passed her daughter kept it the same so this little section would always be here for her. I find it endearing” I know I ramble on a bit but I’ve suddenly grown afraid of having a silence against the two of us
“It is, it’s just a little place with all her favorite books?” He keeps asking, as I turn into the cozy little corner. I thumb through the alphabetical order.
“Yeah, her favorite chair, pillows. Shannon was such a kind lady” I reminisce, “here is The Road, is there anything else I can help you with? Or will that be all for today?”
“Uhh, ha unless you have ‘The deal’ by Elle Kennedy then I’ll take that too” I think he’s being sarcastic but I can’t really tell.
“I think we do, are you a hockey fan?” I ask walking to the romance section.
“I guess you could say that, do you watch?” He asks, “do you need a hand?”
“I watch a bit, just the New Jersey Devils with my dad. Yeah it’s just above there” I point, even on my tip toes the store has ceiling high bookshelves. And because it’s night the ladders been locked up. I move to the side as he grabs the book.
“Are you from Jersey?”
“Yeah, I lived there before I came to New York for a work deal”
“I’m going to assume it’s not this job.. right?” As he makes his way to the register and I slink behind the counter
“Yeah, my uh big girl job as my mom likes to address it as” I hear the roll in my eyes as I scan the bar codes and ring him up, “will that be with cash or card?”
“Card” He pulls his wallet out of the front pocket of his jacket, “thank you”, he checks for my name eyes staring just above but also at my chest.
I poke my eyebrows up at him praying to god this man isn’t looking at my tits directly; not even with the slightest bit of discretion.
“I’m uh looking for your name to thank you— I swear I’m not looking at your uh. You know boobs” he almost whispers out the last bit before continuing, “not that they aren’t nice or anything but uh” the tips of his ears turn pink and his cheeks suddenly become flushed, “I will just pay now” he groans out softly; handing me his card and rubbing his eyes with his hands.
I ring him up and he puts his pin in, “thank you again, you never told me your name” he questions for that piece of information
“Emma”
“Thank you Emma, have a good evening” he purses his lips and grabs his books. Hands shaking as he smiles and starts to leave.
“You too, wait” I lean over the bar slightly, “you never told me your name?”
“Mat”
“Alright then, have a good evening Mat. Come back soon”
The door jingles as he leaves and I watch him through the window, I see him sigh and smack his books against his head. Though I don’t exactly hear what he says; noises muffled through the glass and the music.
“Huh. What a strange guy”
#hockey#nhl#mat barzal my beloved#mat barzal#mat barzal x reader#mathew barzal#mat barzal smut#mat barzal x oc#new york#new york islanders#New York hockey#New York islanders hockey#islander hockey#mb13#mathew barzal imagine#mat barzal fic#louiseabilenewrites
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to all the girls you've loved before part 5
author's note: this might be the softest part out of all of them? sorry for the wait, i hope the fluff makes up for it. :)
pairing: single dad!mat barzal x reader
summary: being a nanny for rich people was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you, until you started working for mat.
warnings: children, rich people, very volatile/toxic relationship
day forty-four
"does this look okay?" mat popped his head in your room where you were sitting on your bed with a book in your lap.
"you look like you normally do."
he ran a hand down his face. "i mean, is it appropriate to wear to a doctor's appointment?"
oh shit.
you forgot.
you jumped off the bed and ran into the walk in closet.
"did you forget?" mat teased. any sign of insecurity at his outfit choice disappeared when you sprinted into the closet.
"would you believe me if i said no?"
he laughed. "not a chance." he cleared his throat. "let me go wake ella up and get her ready."
you pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater as well as thick socks and shoes. you walked out, nearly running into mat and ella in the hallway.
ella immediately perked up at seeing you and reached for you while mat rolled his eyes.
"can't believe she loves you more."
"i'm with her all day," you quipped. but the second the words left your mouth, you were backpedaling. "not to say that you're an absent father!" you amended. "i just mean that i live here and i take care of her when you're not here, so she sees me more and--"
mat's laughter cut you off. he placed a strong hand on your shoulder and squeezed. "i didn't take it that way, relax." and like nothing happened, he continued down the hall to the living room.
a sigh escaped your lips the second his touch was gone.
it was another ten minutes before the three of you left. originally, you were stunned that he asked you to join him in the first place, but when mat explained how confused he and tito were for that the first doctor's appointment, it made more sense.
everyone needed an emotional support friend.
you had a whole crew of them help move you out of your old apartment.
even the thought of that day made you want to tear up again. you'd never been one for having a large group of friends, usually just a close few. but after graduating college, after your school friends moved away from the city, somewhere along the way, you stopped picking up your phone to text them.
which was how you landed in your former apartment with natalie. she was a friend of a friend, and easy enough to live with.
until she fucked your boyfriend.
so when mat, tito, sydney, and marty all helped you move out? even after only knowing the latter two for less than twenty-four hours?
they put your old friends to shame.
"what's going on in that mind of yours?" mat asked. "you got quiet." you shrugged. "oh come on, you're thinking about something! i can see the wheels turning in your head."
"you sound like my mother."
mat guffawed and laughed at the same time in a sound that you wanted to commit to memory. "your mother? should i be offended?"
you smiled despite yourself. "she's alright."
"she must be if she raised you."
you crossed your arms. "you're such a flatterer."
"only for you."
you ignored the weird fluttering sensation in your gut and rolled your eyes. "wait till i tell tito that you like me more."
mat groaned and ran a hand over his mouth. "please don't, i get enough shit from him as it is."
interesting.
you turned in your seat to face him a little more. "and what shit would he be giving the great mathew barzal? spending too long on your hair? being too talented? having too many female fans?"
as you came to a stoplight, mat rubbed the back of his neck, looking increasingly more uncomfortable with your line of questioning. "not necessarily..." he trailed off.
but you ignored his signs of hesitancy and kept pressing on. "i bet it's about you being a dilf."
if the car was moving, you'd bet money that mat would've slammed on the brakes. but you were currently still sitting at the stoplight, so he just looked at you with an expression that boarded on shocked and horrified.
"a what?"
"surely, you know what a dilf is, mat."
he sputtered. "i mean i uh know what it is--"
"then why are you so flustered?" you asked, leaning on the center console.
"just wasn't expecting you to say that is all."
"i'm sure you and your teammates have said worse in the locker room."
"yeah but that's them and you're you and--" he cut himself off and chose to wave his hands in the air like that action alone would fill in the blanks.
"and what?"
mat accelerated as the light turned green. "i just didn't know you saw me that way."
you shrugged and sat back in your seat, ignoring the way your heart raced at the way the conversation took a turn. "don't tell me i'm the first person to say you're attractive, mat."
"well, no, but--"
"so what's the big deal? it's just me."
mat shrugged. "exactly. it's you."
you froze momentarily, but tried to brush his comment off like it didn't send a shiver down your spine.
the both of you were silent for the rest of the ride.
when you got to the doctor's office, both you and mat got out, with mat offering to carry ella into the building. though, the three of you made it twenty feet before ella was whining for you.
"my own child likes you more," he grumbled.
you just laughed.
the waiting room was semi full when the three of you walked in, but mat was the only dad in sight.
he leaned down towards you with a hand on the small of your back. "i'll go check us in if you'll find us a seat."
you did as he asked and ignored the way you could feel his touch long after he walked away. you and ella found a seat in a corner away from most of the women and children there. did you look antisocial? maybe just a little, but you weren't taking chances of ella or yourself getting sick, and you sure as hell weren't taking a chance on mat's health with the season in full swing.
"didn't want to sit with the other families?" mat asked as he took the seat next to you.
"i don't know those people, why would i sit next to them? they could be sick."
mat nodded along. "fair enough."
the three of you only waited a few minutes before ella's name was called. you stood up but it was mat who gestured for you to lead, again, with his hand on your back guiding you.
the nurse took a few vitals before taking the three of you back to the room. "the doctor will be with you shortly," she said before leaving you, mat, and ella alone.
it wasn't long before you heard another knock on the door and the doctor came in. she greeted the three of you before getting right down to business, directing you to place ella on the table.
doctor stevenson took ella's vitals while she wriggled around and reached for you and mat. "vitals look good," she said. "now she does need to have a few vaccines today..." the doctor kept talking but you were focused on mat.
specifically how all the color drained from his face.
you placed your hand on his back and directed him to one of the open chairs in the room, scared he might pass out if he stayed standing.
"is everything alright?" the doctor asked.
mat sat down and exhaled. "are you sure she has to get shots today?"
doctor stevenson's face looked grim. "do you not like needles or...?"
"i don't like seeing my daughter cry," he admitted.
"that's completely normal for parents," the doctor assured him. "if you'd like, you can stay out in the hall and we'll let you know when we're done. should only take a few minutes, if that."
you weren't listening to the doctor though, your eyes were focused on mat's face. a deep set frown worked its way onto his lips and you hated it. you reached out and touched his shoulder. "i can stay with her, if you don't wanna be in the room," you said.
his eyes met yours; for a man as confident as he was, you'd never seen him so hesitant. "last time she got shots, it about broke me."
"that's okay," you said. "i'll be here if you wanna step outside. i'll still be here if you wanna stay."
he nodded and stood up. for a second, you thought he'd make his way to the door, but he stood by the table and kissed the top of ella's head. "it's gonna be okay, ella bean," he mumbled.
doctor stevenson looked at you before pulling out the needles. you saw how mat kept eyeing them in the corner of his eye, but kept his focus on ella who was babbling like nothing was going on.
it took a few seconds after the first injection before the water works started. ella's cry sounded throughout the room but instead of looking at her, your eyes were focused on mat.
he was completely enraptured by ella, whispering soft things to her in an attempt to soothe her.
"it's okay, ella. dada's here," he whispered. "it's okay."
she kept crying despite the calm voice mat was using. she was twisting towards him and away from the doctor.
"just one more," doctor stevenson said. and in a minute, she was finished.
but ella wasn't.
the second the needle was pulled out and the band aids were placed, mat was picking ella up and cradling her to his chest. she wailed and wailed, only calming down when mat was bouncing her and speaking softly in her ear.
you halfway listened to doctor stevenson talk about what percentile of weight and height ella was in, half of your attention was focused on the gentle way mat was holding his daughter and how his arms, as strong as they were, protected his child from the big, bad, scary needles.
you were free to follow the nurse out the door to checkout. mat refused to let go of ella, so you were the one scheduling the next appointment and entering it into your shared google calendar.
ella was still hiccuping from the crying by the time the three of you got to the car. mat strapped her in while you got in the front seat and looked through the paperwork they gave you.
"everything look alright?" mat asked as he got in his seat and locked the doors.
"yeah, she's right as rain. i added the next appointment to our calendar."
mat hummed.
"what?" you asked.
"our calendar?"
"we share a calendar, mat. that was your idea, if you recall." you weren't about to be embarrassed about something he initiated. why would you? it's just a calendar, not something with an underlying meaning.
"i know," he smiled. "i just like the sound of it, is all." he put the car in reverse and placed his hand on your headrest.
"weirdo," you mumbled to compensate for the fact that you also liked referring to something as mundane as a calendar as ours.
mat scoffed. "i'm not the weirdo. you're the weirdo."
"oh please, i have an entire roster of your teammates that would say otherwise."
"you would trust their word over mine?"
you shrugged. "majority rules."
you didn't think someone could roll their eyes as hard as mat did in that moment.
the three of you got home a few minutes later. mat was in charge of getting ella while you grabbed his keys. you both waved to the doorman and headed up to your shared apartment.
god, you loved saying that more than you probably should.
"are you still going out with syd later?" mat called after you when you got into the apartment. you were headed back to your room while he was putting ella in the play pin.
you stripped out of your clothes and changed into something more comfortable. "yeah!" you called back, walking back down the hallway to the living room. "why?"
"tito and anders invited me out for drinks, so i'll need to find a babysitter."
"i can ask grace if she knows anyone--"
"don't. i'm the one who needs the sitter, it's my responsibility, not yours."
ella babbled in what you assumed was agreement.
later that day, you heard mat getting ready in his room while you got dressed in yours with ella playing on the floor with her toys. you weren't dressed in anything too fancy, just a nice black dress that had been sitting in the back of your old closet because your roommate said it was "too slutty for someone who has a boyfriend."
then she went and fucked your boyfriend, so you couldn't really say you gave a shit about her opinion anymore.
you strapped some heels on and gave yourself a once over in the mirror, fluffing your hair when it looked too flat. you scooped ella up and made a mental note to bring her toys out to her play pin later when you got back.
if you could even walk straight.
you weren't planning on getting shitfaced, but does anyone over the age of 23 ever plan on it?
you carried ella down the hallway and into the living room where mat sat on the couch on his phone with espn playing on the tv.
"i thought you'd eventually get tired of all the sports talk," you commented.
mat didn't even look up, he just liked a random person's photo. "it's nice background noise. besides, they're talking about sports other than just hockey."
"right." you walked in front of him to put ella in her play pin, your heels clicking on the hardwood. it wasn't until you turned around that you saw him staring. "what?"
mat cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. "nothing! you just look...nice."
you smiled. "thank you! syd should be here any minute now. where did i put my phone..." your voice trailed off as you looked around for your cell phone.
"it's on the coffee table," mat said. and low and behold, it was. "do you have a coat? it's supposed to get cold tonight."
you nodded and headed to the coat closet beside the front door. you grabbed the black peacoat you had since college and tried to put it on before a pair of hands stopped you.
"let me help," was all mat said as he held the coat open for you. it took you a second to register what he was saying, he had to clear his throat to get you to snap back to reality.
"thanks," you said as you put your arms in the sleeves. your phone started ringing a second later, sydney's contact photo taking over your screen. "are you sure you don't want me to wait until she gets here?" you asked, talking about the babysitter. "i can help explain ella's routine!"
but mat rolled his eyes and herded you closer to the door. ""i'll be fine, go have fun!"
"if you need me, text me."
he gave you an award winning smile. "if you need me, call me."
you nodded and walked out, picking up the phone as mat locked the door behind you. "hey, i'm on my way down."
"great! i have an uber waiting for us."
you walked a little faster to the elevator, determined to not let the uber run up more money than was necessary, despite the fact that sydney was not strapped for cash.
you made it down quickly and without busting your ass on the polished floor.
sydney was waiting in a black suv like she was some government official in a marvel movie. she popped the back door open when she saw you and smiled. "you look fantastic!" she said once you got inside the vehicle.
you looked over her outfit which wasn't too dissimilar to yours, just not as revealing. "grace is joining us, hope that's okay!"
you nodded, vaguely recalling meeting anders' wife when jason had that meltdown in front of everyone.
not the best first impression, you hoped tonight would make her forget about that first night.
grace met you and sydney at a bar about twenty minutes away from yours and mat's apartment. she smiled as the two of you got out of the car, hugging you instead of shaking your proffered hand.
"it's great to see you again," she said. "you look fantastic."
"so do you!" you replied.
the three of you walked into the bar and were immediately greeted by loud music and an enormous crowd. you pushed your way through the people and ended up in front of the bar.
"get what you want!" sydney yelled over the music. "it's on me, tonight."
it didn't seem like a lot, but when you thought back to how jason and natalie both would conveniently go out with you on nights when they were broke, and then proceed to ask you to fund their near alcohol addiction? you were immensely grateful. if you were a pettier woman, you would've venmoed natalie and jason for the money they owe you in drinks alone.
but you were moving on, making peace with your new situation, your job, your new friends.
and mat.
you weren't sure what category to put him in yet.
"boss" seemed too professional. "friend" didn't seem heavy enough.
"what're you having?" the bartender's question snapped you out of your reflective moment. you gave him the order and watched as he started to make it.
your drink was in front of you after you waited for a few minutes. you sipped at it while walking to the table grace had picked out.
"so how's it going, living with mat?" grace asked as soon as you walked up.
you shrugged lightly. "not as bad as i thought it would be. i was expecting it to be awkward, but it's just been nice not to have to wake up as early to go to work."
sydney nodded. "matt told me barzy looks happier since you moved in."
"anders too," grace added. "my husband said he needs to 'meet this girl who has barzy smiling like a fool.'"
you flushed at their statements. "he's a good guy," was all you said.
sydney and grace were talking amongst themselves while you bopped your head to the music playing. you supped on your drink when a familiar head of hair caught you eye. it was followed by another familiar head of hair. you were squinting, trying to remember where you'd seen them before when they turned around your heart stopped.
jason and natalie.
you choked on your drink which caught sydney and grace's attention.
"are you okay?" sydney asked. she only grew more concerned when you threw your drink back, the alcohol barely burning your throat in comparison to the pain in your chest.
"i'm gonna get some shots," you said before stumbling to the bar. you ordered four shots of vodka and downed them all in succession at the bar top, and then doing your best to get back to the table afterwards.
your heart was pounding as you saw them cozied up in a booth. you wanted to vomit. you wanted to cry. you wanted to go over there and pour their drinks on their heads.
but mostly, you just wanted to go home.
but you couldn't. not when the night was still young. not when you were still feeling sober. you'd stupidly thought that the four shots would get you drunk quickly because you forgot that metabolisms exist.
you did your best to keep up with the conversation grace and sydney were having, and it was clear they were trying to include you. but your gaze kept drifting to how happy jason and natalie looked. and wondering how long they'd gone on dates when you were busy working, how many times did the sleep together before you caught them? you wondered if they were in love? or if it was just lust.
you wondered what made you so unloveable that he'd cheat on you. you wondered how despicable of a person you were that your roommate would agree to it.
you weren't drunk enough for this.
you excused yourself from the table again to get another drink. as you waited, you tapped your fingers on the bar, humming to the top 40s playlist playing over the speakers.
"can i get a jack and coke?" that voice sent a shiver down your spine in the worst way. you hesitantly turned your head and saw jason standing next to you, thankfully with natalie nowhere in sight. you didn't know what you'd do if they were both there with you in that moment.
he must've felt your stare because he turned his head and made eye contact. his jaw clenched a little before his lips curved into a sly smirk. "well look what the cat dragged out," he said. "where is he?"
you blinked.
"c'mon. like you don't know who i'm talking about?" when you didn't say anything, he rolled his eyes. "barzal. where is he?" jason glanced around the bar. "because i don't see him anywhere."
"why would he be here? mat's not my boyfriend."
"right, he's just letting you stay with him for free because he's such a good person," he teased.
maybe it was the shot placed in front of you. maybe it was the other four shots kicking in. but you downed the drink, wiped your mouth and shot back at him. "he's a better person than you could ever hope to be."
"he'll get bored of you eventually. people always do," jason scoffed. "you're his nanny, for fuck's sake. if you're not fucking him, he'll realize he could get better pussy and a better looking face from literally any other girl in new york. and once he realizes that, you'll be homeless and jobless."
you shook your head, willing the stinging in your eyes to go away. "he's not like you, jason."
"he's not gonna fall in love with you. you're a no good bitch who didn't know what she had when she had it. and i'm glad we're done, natalie is a thousand times more interesting than you could ever hope to be." with that, he turned on his heel with his shitty drink and walked back to his booth.
you walked back to your table but before you could even register the water running down your face, sydney was pulling you into her arms as you sobbed.
"sweetheart what's wrong?"
you could barely get the words out to tell her, but as soon as you did, she was pulling you back and looking you in the eyes. "i'm gonna call mat, is that okay?"
"please call him," you said. sydney brought you back into her chest with one arm while her other hand dialed mat.
"mat! hey!" she said with an overly cheery voice. "are you busy?"
just the sound of his voice, even if it was sounded like a small whisper, made you feel a little safer. she continued to talk to him through the phone until she hung up and hugged you tighter.
"he'll be here soon and take you home, okay?"
you nodded into her shoulder and cried a little more. "i'm sorry for ruining your night."
sydney squeezed you a little closer. "it's not your fault. your ex is a piece of shit."
mat must've texted syd a few minutes later because she was ushering you out of the bar to stand on the sidewalk.
it was a matter of seconds before mat pulled up and hopped out of his car looking like a man on a mission. in a blink of an eye you were being pulled out of sydney's arms (or maybe she was pushing you) and into his.
you could've sworn your life made a little more sense right then and there.
"mat--" you sobbed. "i--i can't--" and to be honest, you weren't quite sure what you meant to say, words weren't stringing themselves together like they usually do. maybe you were trying to say you couldn't keep doing this, or that you couldn't understand why he still kept you around.
it could be a million things.
but he kissed the top of your head and your brain was silenced. "let's get you home, okay?"
mat put you in the car and held your hand the entire way home, stroking his thumb on the back of your hand in a way jason never did.
jason.
you wanted to vomit but the interior of mat's car was too nice and he already ditched his friends for you, the least you could do was keep it together.
"do you wanna talk about it?" he asked.
you shook your head no, so he squeezed your hand.
when you finally got back to the apartment, you stood in the living room in a catatonic state while mat paid the babysitter and ushered her out. the second the front door closed, he was by your side, taking your hand, and leading you to the bathroom where he turned on the shower. when he made a move to leave, you grabbed his hand.
"i'm just gonna grab you some clothes, i'll be right back."
he was back in thirty seconds with one of his shirts and a pair of sweats. you were brought back to the first night you slept over after your relationship blew up. you should've smiled and said thank you, you should've said you appreciated all mat had done.
but you just burst into more tears.
mat knelt in front of you, wiping the tears as fast as they came. "hey, what's wrong?"
before you could even stop and think, you were launching yourself into his arms and wrapping your own around his shoulders. he didn't even hesitate to hold you back as tightly as he could.
"you're okay," he said. "i'll be right outside when you're done, alright?"
you nodded against his shoulder and hesitantly pulled away. mat seemed just as reluctant to let you go, but the steam fogging the mirror reminded you both that there was a line you hadn't (and maybe shouldn't) cross.
mat shut the bathroom door behind him and you stripped out of your clothes.
it was the fastest shower you'd ever taken in your life.
true to his word, mat was outside the bathroom door when you were finished in a set of sweats he wasn't wearing before. he looked up from his phone and held his arms out, and for what felt like the fiftieth time (though that still did not feel like enough), you were in his arms again.
"let's get you to bed," he mumbled into your hair before placing another kiss there.
before you could stop yourself, you mumbled back. "can i sleep with you tonight?"
mat froze.
hell, you froze.
neither of you knew what to do.
but a minute later he was pulling away. you felt the tears well up in your eyes at the thought of him rejecting you, but what did you honestly expect? him to say yes? you moved to go down the hall to your room, but his grip on your hand stopped you.
"c'mon," was all he said.
up until this moment, you'd never been in mat's room. it was about what you expected, king bed in the middle of the room, a dresser, a few clothes strewn about. it looked lived in.
mat got in the bed first and extended his arms to you. it was like he was the center of the earth, pulling you in with such a strong gravitational pull, you stood no chance to resist it.
you were curled up against his chest a beat later.
"thank you," you said.
"anytime," he said against your hair.
your head was placed right over his chest where his heart beat loudly. the sound of it began lulling you to sleep.
it should've been a picturesque moment, but it was tainted by the lingering anxiety in the back of your mind.
was jason right? was this a bad decision? would mat kick you out if you never have sex with him? would he kick you out if you did?
but then mat started running a hand over your hair and down your back repeatedly, and all your worries disappeared.
you'd have more time to think about that tomorrow.
taglist:
@nicoleloveshockey @thg02 @fallinallincurls @bbbbruins @random-readers-world @sydsxoxo @jhughesy @whenmypartysover @sunflowerhood @spencereidbasis @icanfsplel @avareadsthings @zegraswrites @matthewkniesys @heyitsmeimdead @kashee-h @bordelhoe @diary-of-jj @literatureluster @dani746
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Last Christmas | M.Barzal
this is my entry for @antoineroussel christmas fic exchange!
this is for you, @lhugh! happy holidays annie 🎄🤍
this fic does use they/them pronouns as they are annie’s pronouns! 🫶🏼
word count: 2,461 words
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Last Christmas, you walked into December planning every festive activity possible; the Rockefeller Christmas tree, Nutcracker at New York City ballet, Radio City Rockettes even letting Mat show you up at skating.
That was until Mat dropped the break up bomb on you. You couldn’t really comprehend it all, too confused and hurt at once.
You were supposed to spend Christmas with Mat and the team at the Martin’s. You never answered Sydney’s texts after the breakup.
You spent Christmas alone.
You were thankful the islanders tanked their 21/22 season. It meant that they all left to go home as soon as possible.
That meant no islanders, no jerseys, no chants on the train home from work.
No Mat.
He went home to Coquitlam two days after the islanders lost to Tampa.
Mat spent his first summer in seven years bouncing around from place to place. He was out on the lake with Tyson for a few weeks and he visited Anthony and Emma when they bought their new home in Quebec.
He wasn’t home long with his family until he got a call, from Brock. His dad had died.
He asked if you and Mat could attend the funeral, his father really adored you both in the time he’d met you and he knew Mat well. Mathew agreed to attend, claiming you were busy but sent your well wishes.
He flew into Minnesota the day prior, dropping off flowers to Brock’s mom and she welcomed him into her home giving him a drink and thanking him for coming.
“He always liked watching you play, unless you played against Vancouver of course” she laughed, Mat gave her a smile “It’s a shame y/n couldn’t come”
“Yeah, it’s a shame” he mumbled.
Next he saw her was at the funeral, listening while she stood talking about her husband, the love she had for him, how much she missed him already.
All Mat could think about when he heard her words were you.
You were his best friend.
You were the person who knew him best.
You were supposed to be around forever.
When Mat got home after that trip he didn’t do much, he was no longer in the mood to go out partying, celebrating with friends.
Mat returned to Long Island in the end of August.
He frequented the coffee shop you guys often did and he even walked the route in the morning you did. He didn’t see you.
It wasn’t until week 3 of attending the same coffee shop that the barista, Logan said to him
“Mat, they don’t come in here anymore I’m sorry. Said they needed a fresh start after the breakup”
He silently nodded to the girl, hoping she hadn’t caught his face falling. He simply took his flat white from the counter and exited to building.
Contract talks started in mid-september.
The organization called in May to the office to discuss; throwing around money and perks.
He took the time to digest the information. He called him mom and dad to see what their opinions were on the whole thing, called his financial advisor and even called Anders but the number he kept hovering over belonged to you.
Everyone’s advice was along the lines of “you need to see yourself settling down in Long Island with a contract term like that” and he did, with you.
The deal was signed on October 4th.
@ny_islanders: “I love It here” says Mathew Barzal, after signing his 8 year extension to stay here in Long Island 💙🤍🧡
You read the tweet, saw the posts and the stories from your mutual friends. You wanted to text him — tell him congratulations, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.
So instead, you simply put an orange heart emoji under the islanders post about his extension and scrolled on.
Mat saw it. His heart soared at the simplicity of it but yet the fact he knew you were still thinking of him, that you in some way still cared.
Late October, the leaves were starting to fall and hockey was beginning again. Mat wasn’t playing his best — missing goals, easy passes and a lot of falling over.
People started doubting him; calling him a fake, a money grabber and claiming they wished Lou hadn’t even drafted his extension papers.
Mat started to doubt himself too.
was he good enough?
should he have signed the papers?
was he worth the money?
was Long Island better off without him? were you?
There is was! The real problem.
Ever since that last December his mind had been stuck on you and really it shouldn’t have because it was his fault, he broke up with you.
If anyone asked Mat why you broke up he would say “We just wanted different things”
If Mat was honest with himself he would say “I was scared I wasn’t enough for them”
The first few months of hockey came and passed with not a single goal from Mat.
Lambert pulled him aside one morning at practice to tell him “You better get your head out of your ass son because one more game the way you’ve been going and you’ll be benched for the rest of this year”
The last game in November, against Philadelphia Mat was a healthy scratch.
His punishment was over by the next game but Lane told him in no specific terms he had to step up. Mat just groaned and mumbled a “Yeah, I’m fucking trying” before leaving the office.
It was harder now that it was December.
In summer he could just pretend things weren’t different.
You weren’t at his families house? You had to be with your mom.
He was alone at the casino event? You had work.
But Christmas, that was different. Christmas wasn’t something he could sweep under the rug and pretend you were busy.
You’d spent every Christmas together since Mat was eighteen years old. Your first Christmas in New York was an overwhelming experience and Mat thought it adorable at how excited you were about everything.
He bought you a necklace that year. It had his number on it, the gold chain necklace held the number thirteen on your chest and you never took it off.
It was a staple piece in your collection, whenever someone at one of your fancy work dinners or meetings would ask
“Hey why does your necklace have the thirteen on it?”
You would smile so bright, in such adoration and reply “My boyfriend, mat. He plays hockey for the New York Islanders and he’s number thirteen! but always number one to me” and everyone would laugh and call you cute.
You’d left that necklace behind the night you’d packed your stuff up to leave. Mat found it when he returned home from Boston on an away game to find you’d obviously been in and cleared out your belongings too while he was gone.
He took the necklace and posted it to your mom’s house, the only address connected to you he knew. He never knew if you’d gotten it back, not that it mattered much anyway because why would you want to wear it after you’d broken up?
Mat’s no goal streak continued up to the last game before Christmas, December 23rd and he was goal-less.
He was so frustrated at everything he couldn’t think straight about getting this goal. He was spending Christmas alone for the second year in a row — alone, without you.
He couldn’t stop thinking about you no matter how hard he tried. How you’d been here tonight wearing a silly Christmas jumper and cheering about the last game before Christmas.
They tanked the first period, Tkachuk got away with the puck leaving them up one by the end of the first. There were so many penalties, stupid penalties. It was a mess.
Second period, they equalised in the first few minutes with a goal from Beau before Brock got them up another which was matched not long after by Florida.
When the third period hit it was like something went off in Mat, that he had a surge of energy.
He got a goal, his first season goal! Then another and another with only a few seconds left on the clock.
Hat-trick. He got a hatty.
He’d done it. He finally scored a goal this season, they won the game and he got a hat-trick!
So why didn’t he feel like it was enough?
When he got back to the locker room, Mat pulled his phone out of his bag and looked at his notifications; texts from friends and family congratulating him on the goals, random emails but it was as though he was searching for something.
He clicked through the phone until he landed on what he wanted and pressed it before holding the phone up to his ear.
It rang twice before it connected
“Hello?”
“Um, hey! This is weird and I’m not sure why I’m doing this but I felt like I had to because, well because I scored my first goal of the season tonight. I scored my first season goal and I got a hatty too which I mean is a lot but I don’t feel like it’s enough”
Mat sighed, completely blocking out his team-mates listening to this conversation and looking on with sympathy
“It’s not enough because I know you’re not here-“
“-Mat-“
“No, please let me finish it’s taken me long enough to get the courage to call you. I was stupid for what I did last Christmas and I will wholeheartedly tell you that this year has been the worst year of my life and maybe you call that karma, I call it a wake up call that you… you’re the love of my life and that I want to be with you, I was scared and stupid but I’m better I will be better for you! I’m ready to be the man you need”
After his spiel, Mat took a deep breath awaiting your answer but instead was met with a dead line.
You hung up on him.
Mat looked dejectedly at him phone in hand before he got up to get dressed as he was very spitefully aware of the media and press awaiting him outside the door.
He breezed through media by giving them one word answers and a bored look, they usually let him away early when he did that.
Collecting his bag from the now empty locker room and sulking down the hallway towards the car park.
He wasn’t even looking up, instead opted for the wonderful view of his scuffed shoes. Paying so little attention he didn’t even see you standing at the end of the hallway.
“Nice shot!” His head whipped up, locking eyes with you almost immediately.
You watched his face go through a multitude of emotions before it softened and he muttered “What-“
“I was here Mat” is what you said, gesturing to the stairs you’d descended from your seat “I was sat up there and I watched it, I was cheering you on”
Mat was speechless, fumbling over his words and his eyes flickered across your body, trying to drink you in while you were stood in front of him before his eyes landed on your neck.
Lay on your black shirt was a necklace, the necklace.
The number thirteen lay to elegantly on your chest “You got it”
You looked down and smiled “Oh yeah, my mom sent it to my apartment” playing with it between your thumb and pointer finger.
A soft silence settled between you both, it wasn’t weird or awkward — it could never be awkward between you and Mat.
Until Mat broke the silence by asking
“Why are you here?”
You smiled gently “The islanders last game before Christmas has always been my tradition since I moved to New York you know that and so I never changed it this year, despite the circumstances” the last bit was a little snappy and he knew that.
“I meant what i said on that call by the way” you nodded curtly as a reply before holding out your hand for him to take
“How about you drive us around that neighbourhood with the good Christmas lights and we can talk, in the car eh?”
The Christmas lights, another tradition between you both.
Mat reached out, clasping his hand in yours and nodding “Yeah, let’s do that”
The lights on peoples home’s had somehow gotten better this year and you admired them all in a childlike fashion from the passenger seat of Mathew’s Range Rover.
“This is one of my favourite traditions we started” you say, still looking out the window. Your hand rested now on the console in the middle of the car.
Mat slipped his hand into yours, taking a leap of faith which paid off when you clasped it in yours and squeezed it.
“Yeah, i love it” he muttered, pulling the car into the side of the road now you’d reached the end of the street.
You turned to him now, waiting for him to say something.
“Listen, this is all really weird and I wish I was better with words because I would like to be able to tell you the million and one ways in which I absolutely adore you and regret what I did last Christmas every single day. However, what I can do is promise you, I promise you that I will work everyday to prove to you how much I love you and how sorry I am — I ruined Christmas and I think that’s what hurts the most is that I tainted something you love so much-“
You cut him off then, your hands resting on his cheeks; forcing him to look at you and you said “Christmas is not ruined, Christmas has brought me back to the boy I love with my whole heart and being. Don’t you ever think that you ruined Christmas because sure it wasn’t fun last year but we will have a million more Christmas’ to make up for it”
He nodded, head moving slightly so he could press a kiss onto your palm “I’ll make every Christmas the most special just for you”
“As long as I’ve got you, baby any Christmas is special”
On Christmas, when Mat arrived late to the Lee’s for Christmas with the team he walked in smiling
“Sorry, sorry I’m late I had to pick something up!”
“Dude it’s Christmas Day where could you possibly have gone to pick-“ Anthony cut himself off when he saw you enter the house, gifts stacked up in your arms that you placed on the table next to the door before grabbing Mat’s outreached hand.
“Oh my god, it’s a Christmas miracle!”
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Text
Helping Hand | Mat Barzal
summary: Mat’s son meets his next door neighbour and quickly befriends her, what happens when Mat falls for her much like she does for him?
trope: single dad
request: yes/no
warnings: none.
word count: 1.64k
authors note: I asked who got the child and you requested Mat so here he is as a dad! We are going to act like Tito was never traded because this piece isn’t dated but I miss him as an Islander. If you want to check out the rest of the celly you can do so here!
It had been the longest day of your life.
All you wanted to do was run yourself a bubble bath as you went to sleep for an early night. That was why when you stood in the elevator your couldn’t help but smile as some kid stared up at you.
Your mother always said that when a child stared at you for just being you it was a compliment because clearly you were pretty “I like your croc,” you pointed to the child’s stuffed animal that he held on to for dear life.
His nanny couldn’t help but smile as you crouched down to talk to him “what’s his name?” You added as you saw that your floor was still another thirty away.
Drew held the crocodile out so that he could place it on your hands “that’s Danny and I’m Drew,” he introduced himself as he sent you a gummy grin that was due to his two front teeth missing.
You pretended to study the teddy as you nodded along with what he was saying “I’m y/n,” your introduction was more so to the lady that was with him “Agatha.” She nodded as she let the two of you get back to your conversation.
By the time the elevator doors opened you knew all of Drew’s favourite facts about himself, his favourite colour was blue, he likes horses. Chicken nuggets and fries are his favourite food but his dad doesn’t let him eat it that often. The part that probably made your heart warm was that the young boy sang his fathers praises as he made it clear that his dad was a cool dude “you promise you’ll come meet my dad soon?” Drew asked as you walked them to their door realising that he was actually your neighbour.
You nodded as you held your pinky out “I promise,” his small finger locked itself around yours and you had to resist the urge to aww at the sight “have a good day you two.” You added as you softly ruffled the boys hair eliciting a laugh from his lips.
The duo watched you make your way down the hall “bye y/n!” Drew called out as he waved before he walked into his apartment.
The young boy played on your mind for the entirety of the next day so when you were back in the hallway walking to your apartment and you came across Danny who seemed to have been dropped on the floor you knew what you had to do.
It wasn’t often that you got yourself involved in other people’s business but after listening to Drew highlight the importance of this stuffed animal you knew he’d appreciate it “you are not the postman.” Mat blurted out as he opened the door to be met with your empty hands.
You sucked at your bottom lip as you furrowed your eyebrows “you’re not Agatha,” your comment made him laugh “she’s got the day off.” He explained as his eyes went down to your hands “thank god you found that stupid animal.” Mat added as he realised that Drew no longer had to rip up his bedroom trying to find that.
Part of you wanted to remind him of the crocodiles name but the other part of you knew it was best to just keep your mouth shut “y/n!” Drew let out a cheer as he saw you stood at the door.
Mat was surprised when he realised that you were actually a real person but that you were also an adult “I believe this is yours,” you smiled as you bent down to hand him Danny.
The young boy wrapped his arms around your neck as he almost knocked you off of your feet “thank you!” Drew repeated those words drawing a laugh from both you and his father “don’t mention bud,” you smiled as you patted his back.
His dads eyes never left yours as he crossed his arms and leaned against the frame of the door “do you want to ask your friend if she wants to come in?” Mat proposed as he rubbed his hand along his chin.
Drew’s eyes lit up at the thought “do you? Do you really?” He asked as he squealed with excitement.
You let out a laugh as you stood back up straight “I don’t even know your name,” you pointed out as you looked at Mat.
The boy groaned “tell her who you are daddy!” Drew pulled at Mats pants as the older Barzal remained quiet.
Mat shook his head as he snapped himself out of it “Mat, Mat Barzal.” The hockey player introduced himself to you as he held his hand out for you to shake.
His tone made you think that you should have known who he was but still you remained oblivious “y/n l/n.” You never that by listening to Drew it would start the most interesting month of your life.
Now you still remained unaware of Mats true profession but that was because you never seemed to ask and besides thinking he was some rich businessman each time he left the apartment in his suit was much more entertaining.
So instead after a busy week where you hadn’t seen a lot of Drew or Mat you knew the perfect way to apologise to the boy for not seeing him all week after Agatha sent you a text saying the boys missed you.
It wasn’t clear to you why Mat would have been involved in that statement but you didn’t look into it “you sure that I can’t meet her?” Tito groaned as he kicked his legs.
Drew had been playing away with his toys on the carpet “I don’t want you guys to scare her.” Mat explained as he shrugged “she wants to meet them.” Drew announced as he didn’t look up from his train set.
That was music to Tito’s ears “see she wants to meet us!” He cheered at the boys phrase.
Mat rolled his eyes “I’ll see when she has time.” The Canadian proposed as there was a knock at the door “so I’ve got four different cupcakes so take your pick but just not-” you walked into his apartment just like how you always did.
Tito locked eyes with you as he smiled “you’re friends with the Tito Beauvillier and you never told me!” You gasped as you sent Mat a glare only causing his teammate to laugh.
It wasn’t often that Mat was jealous but this was one of those few moments “how do you know who he is but not me!” Mat furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at you.
Drew ran over to you “hi y/n!” He giggled as he wrapped his arms around your legs.
You smiled as you looked down at the boy “the guy I sit next to at work has his poster above his computer.” You explained as you crouched down to be eye level with Drew “which one do you want?” You added as you opened the box for the boy to see the different cupcakes in your box.
Over the next two months you learnt all about how Mat was a hockey player and you even went as far as to meet his teammates. Twitter began to think that you were more than just Mats friend as a video came out of you playing rock paper scissors with Drew in the family and friends box.
After an afternoon game Mat convinced you to go for a round a minigolf. You were for the most part unsure of it, you had grown fond of both Drew and Mat but you didn’t want to put your feelings above the young boys.
What you didn’t know was that Mat felt the same way about you. The fights he had gotten into recently on the ice were because of chirps about you, your style, your body, anything about you that they could say to get under his skin about your they said it. After every game though you always landed up back at his place to play nurse “Mat!” You laughed as the boy wrapped his arms around you to stop you from swinging the club “no cheating!” You added as the scruff from his beard rubbed against your neck.
He smiled as he put you back down “I’m just helping my cause,” he explained as you spun around to face him.
The smirk was present on your face “your cause?” You cocked your head as you licked your lips.
Mats hand went to your hair as he smile “got a pretty strong plan.” He confessed as he dropped his club to the ground “want to tell me about them?” You wriggled you eyebrows as your heart rate increased.
Alarm bells should have rung in Mats head as he studied your face “dinner, maybe even a second date?” He proposed grateful that he had booked the course out so they didn’t have anyone watching them “kiss me.” You blurted out as you couldn’t take it anymore.
All of the temptation and the waiting had built up in your bones “you sure?” Whilst it was all Mat wanted to hear he still didn’t want to cross a line you didn’t want him to.
You nodded “so sure it’s painful,” you gasped as the boys hands went to your cheeks before he kissed you.
It sucked the air out of your lungs as you kissed him back when your club hit the ground with a clang as your hands went on top of his.
A muffled giggle came from your lips at his neediness “wait, what do we tell Drew?” You gasped as you remembered that he was sat at home with Agatha.
“I don’t think he’ll mind if his favourite girl is around more.”
#mat barzal imagine#mat barzal oneshot#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal x oc#hockey imagine#hockey imagines#nhl imagine#nhl oneshot#oneshots#imagines#ambers 500 celly#amber writes fics
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