one of the (many) reasons why this exchange makes me so emotional is that Dazai knows very well the feeling of only ever being used and taken advantage of as a tool, and not knowing anything other than that life. He understands that Sigma can’t yet comprehend the notion of someone wanting you without any ulterior motives, of people just having natural relationships that don’t involve wanting to get something out of each other, because that was his life before he met Oda, who was a “balm for the soul” (in his own words) for him; hence, he doesn’t try to explain it to Sigma at first. But he does relent once Sigma takes Dazai’s initial silence as him being unworthy for an explanation... He doesn’t go into more detail as to why “understanding would be difficult”, because that would require opening up about himself which is something Dazai is still far from ready for, and because he knows Sigma wouldn’t be able to fully understand or accept all of this yet, but just the two reasons he does give for choosing him are already causing Sigma to start to rethink everything he’s ever known about the world and how people treat each other.

Dazai chose him to use his ability, just like everyone who’s always used Sigma has -- but he also chose him to save his life, and to help the agency, people he cares about and wants to help for completely selfless reasons, without expecting anything in return (sure, Dazai jokes about him being on the agency’s payroll, but that’s just his usual deflecting to avoid admitting that he cares :’). This is completely foreign behavior in Sigma’s world, where everyone has to use each other in order to survive, but he’s realizing that Dazai is different from them: he’s realizing what it feels like to be wanted simply out of compassion and love, and not because of how valuable he may be. Sigma isn’t just any other ordinary orphan Dazai saves; he wants to save him particularly because he empathizes with him and sees his old, hurt, jaded self in him, and he’s slowly becoming the balm for the soul for Sigma that Oda was for himself back then, which is truly touching.

what do you think of dazaixchuuya? dazaixatsushi? dazaixakutagawa? dazaixfyodor? dazaixodasaku? dazaixkunikida? dazaixango? dazaixranpo? dazaixyasano? dazaixgogol? dazaixsigma? dazaixjouno?

Hmmm, a what do ya think of these ships question. Instead of listing them in the order that they were given— I’ll put them in the order of my preference.

The guilty ships: 

1. Soukoku (Dazai X Chuuya)- Surprise surpirse this would be first. It is my OTP. There is clearly so many levels to them. They aren’t enemies— they clearly care about each other even after Dazai left the mafia. It was like some type of tsundere love at first sight with these two. They bicker, but they always are there for the other. Plus there is clearly an unspoken bond and trust with them (partners or not). It might not be the perfect type of fairy tale romance — especially at first. Though that is the best thing with multiple layers. 

2. Odazai (Dazai X Odasaku) - This comes close to being one, but Chuuya beat Odasaku out for that. (Sorry Odasaku). Odasaku was clearly the first true friend that Dazai had, and I would have loved to have much more included with them on canon. Hell, I would have loved to see what would have happened if Odasaku hadn’t died– just what type of dynamic would canon be there? This ship I love because it is that sweet type friendship that could have been much more. I’m pretty sure canonly there was a drunken kiss between these two. It is a weakness for me. 

3. Dazai X Fyodor- The toxic loving of an enemy game. So much could go on with these two because they are so similar.   They would be the type where a love would be so twisted and toxic and they would be trying to out do the other. Yet, it is hard not to be guilty of wanting this type of shipping. Fyodor clearly is the one who wants Dazai by his side– be it to use him but still my mind oddly goes but what about a pet. Guilty shipping on multiple layers here. 

4. Dazai X Akutagawa: Mentor and teacher. Master and pet. I mean how can I not admit I’m guilty for this one. I feel like Dazai did want to better Ryu and that was why he did all he did – even if he did things in such a rough fashion. It is one of those toxic like ships— but could be rather dedicated and loyal depending on how things were taken. 

5. Dazai X Gogol: Okay this is a guilty shipping for me , but one I can’t really talk about my thoughts. It is a complicated one — it is like it would be good move and possibly bad for those around them should these two get together. 

The so so ones

6. Dazai X Atsushi: I can see where this might be a more popular shipping since Atsusushi is Dazai’s new student/ mentoree – but it is so so for me. It isn’t one that I spend much time thinking about, though I can see the aspect of them. Though for me I see this one less then Dazai X Akutagawa. 

7. Dazai X Kunikida: Putting this one in the so so though it isn’t one I have really thought about much at all. Dazai working with Kunikida is one to fool around and to do what he can to ruin Kunikida’s schedule. Kunikida does have a good side, but I feel like Kunikida is a bit too stiff for Dazai. Though it could work if there is some sort of middle ground reached. 

8. Dazai X Asano: Only a so so because  I only just recently thought of this one. He would be all pouty because I doubt she would treat him the same as others— since her ability wouldn’t work on Dazai. He would want to try it out and perhaps even see if it would be a quick and painless death. Who knows he would probably like it— this relationship could be interesting to explore for those two– and that is the only reason I put it on so so. 

9. Dazai X Ango: I see this one being more friendship then anything. Ango would be the person to be routing Dazai and Odasaku on rather then truly be seeing anything in relationship wise with Dazai. They are friends sure, Ango did help Dazai— though it would be of those one that they might try it to see. They would end up either as a small fling or dating slightly only to break up soon after. 

The ones not thought of 

10. Dazai X Ranpo: I can see this one out of the last three more than any of the last three. Though it isn’t one that I have thought much on. I mean hey candy and trying to one up each other. 

11. Dazai X Sigma : I don’t know enough about Sigma really to be able to rate this one and give my thoughts. 

12. Dazai X Jouno : I have never thought of this one really. I won’t lie I had to actually ask about this one– since I had a moment of ‘who is that again.’ I mean I can see Jouno with Atsushi but not so much with Dazai.