#eughh. im not doing too hot. armageddon plus bad work day plus religious parent living in house until further notice equals metal screeching
Text
it's always crazy that my first thought about the end of the world or escaping or having to flee is: god i hope i die
does that make me a coward? i don't see myself living through fleeing if an earthquake collapses our house or something just please end it
being told everything is weird and unprecedented and that they're preparing for something just please i don't want to live through another global catastrophic event just let me die man
with my health problems already it's a struggle enough to get up and live i can't imagine bejng in a real crisis if my body is already taking this as a sign im going tk die
do i like how reactive i feel when ppl talk about the possible catastrophe of earthquakes or eclipses or preparing for some unknown something to happen? no. i don't like the fear and the immediate "i need to kill myself or ill suffer unknown tragedies" maybe ive read too much apocalypse fiction where the world ends and factions split and people run rampid
because i know im not built to survive it. im not and i cant. i don't want to live in fear again by the powers over me I don't want to be subject to cruelty and horror
#eughh. im not doing too hot. armageddon plus bad work day plus religious parent living in house until further notice equals metal screeching#brain is sobbing and writhing in trauma and fear im a little kid again waiting for the world to end but this time im not praying for safety#im staring up hoping its quick#i am spiralingggg oh gosh#took just a few minutes of talking to her and hearing “we need to be prepared and there's a x in the sky and they're spraying chem trails”#can't start crying like a bitch about it grow up hya don't melt into hysterics you dumb fuck you're never not gonna be suicidal but at least#get the fuck over it stuff it down or whatever#bunspeaks
3 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
lewdlemage
oh, oh god.
pietrobasile
Pietro Basile
zorc-necrophadeeznuts
It Does What It Do, Yug
bucket-of-french-fries
bucket-of-french-fries
dollysdiarydotcom
☆:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:☆