Writing has been so hard lately, even though I REALLY want to and have so many ideas. It just hasn't been happening- that said, @lilythesilly @bonheur-cafe thank you for tagging me in these, sometimes they're the push i need to write even one sentence 💛

From the Buddie secret relationship AU:

Buck stares at his locker, water bottle dangling limply from his shaking hands. He should put on his shirt, get his things and leave this day behind, but he can't. He feels numb in a way he hasn't felt since Devon.

He got a lot better at bouncing back from the losses, but this one hurt on a much deeper level and would probably not leave him for a long time. "Buck?"

The voice startles him, unexpected as it is, and he drops the bottle, spiling water all over the tiles. Unthinking, he drops down and starts to dry it off with his shirt. By the time Eddie's hands come into view, stopping his frantic movements and pulling him up, the red t shirt is soaking wet. Their eyes lock, and Buck's face crumbles. Eddie, without a second thought, pulls him in. Buck buries his face in the crook of Eddie's neck, and breathes him in.

For just a second, it feels like it used to.

Tagging: @tkstrrand @buckybarnesalways @lambourngb @chaotictarlos @noxsoulmate @rangergurlgleek1211 @sapphire11

Commiseration Tuesday

With AO3 temporarily down, lots of us are sad at not being able to read when we wanted to! With that in mind, I’m taking the opportunity to invite you guys to share a little something from a WIP to keep us going through the downtime! Preferably something we haven’t shared before, but whatever works for you!

Such a wonderful idea, thanks for tagging me @bonheur-cafe @noxsoulmate, love you both 🤍

This is from the Tarlos Zombie AU, which is coming along slowly. I hope you like it!

There's a distant static wave of sound that pulls him back into consciousness. He's still not fully capable of controlling his limbs, or his eyes, so he stays still in hopes of figuring out what's happening. Seconds later, there a rough tap on his cheek, a loud voice calling his name.  "-arlos?" His heart pounds in his ears, and he clumsily lifts his hands up to them, pressing tiggtly as if that will muffle the sounds. "Hey-" there's that sound again, a little familiar, and a little too loud. "- Carlos?!"  There are hands on him, now. TK? No, he thinks immediately; the hands aren't rough, but they're not gentle, either. TK's hands are always gentle. TK. Five men. Guns. A knife in his gut. TK, screaming at them, screaming for him. TK being dragged away from Carlos' outstreched hands. He opens his eyes immediatel, and the first thing he sees when his vision clears is a clear blue sky, then- "There you go," Judd says, smiling broadly, "had me worried there for a second." TK. Carlos bolts upright, the man's name on his lips. He chokes on it though, as white hot, piercing pain steals his breath. He looks down, sees the white bandage Judd's pressing to his abdomen. "-easy. Easy, brother, you're hurt." Yeah, no shit. Judd snorts as he helps him lay back down, and Carlos realizes he said it out loud. Carlos looks up at the sky, tries to ignore the pain as Judd does as best as he can stitchig the stab wound in his side. He closes his eyes and TK's face, tight with pain and fear- brows furrowed, eyes wide, mouth open in a silent scream. He opens his eyes, stares at the sky. He keeps his eyes open, doesn't so much as blink this time. . Judd says he should rest. Carlos scoffs and struggles up to his feet. Judd's there, hands hovering at his side to support him if he needs it. "I'm going after him, Judd. With or without you." Judd stares at him. "You're hurt, man. Can barely stand on your own. How do you plan on gettin' him out of wherever they took him?" He shakes his head. "I'll figure it out. I just have to find him first." "Carlos-" "Judd, stop," he snaps. What if it was Grace? he wants to ask but bites his tongue to keep the words in. It's not- he shouldn't compare a ten year relationship to whatever he had with TK for- what? Two days? Maybe even less than that. He shouldn't. It doesn't to have feelings for someone he met less than two days ago. And yet- Carlos exhales, his chest heaves and he sways, dangerously close to collapsing. He would have fallen in a heap on the concrete if Judd didn't catch him, one hand at his elbow and the other on his waist, steadying him. And yet, he thinks, ever since he woke up, it's felt like a part of him is missing, like whoever has taken TK has taken a part of Carlos' heart with them. Judd stares at him, as if he's a puzzle he thinks he can solve and Carlos looks away, jaw clenched. "Okay," Judd says eventually, "let's go find your man." "He's not my-" he attempts to protest weakly, but Judd's not really listening anymore, collecting their supplies off the street and throwing them in the trunk. Judd helps him into the passanger seat, then moves around to the driver's seat. They share a look, full of understanding, and Carlos breathes out. "We're gonna find him." Carlos nods. . They're on the road for about half an hour when it occurs to him to ask Judd how he knows where to go. Judd's hands tighten around the steering wheel. It takes him a minute to answer. "Judd?" "We have a tracker on him." His heart sinks. "And on me. That's how you knew where to find me."

Tagging: @chaotictarlos @tkstrrand @alrightbuckaroo @lambourngb @honestlydarkprincess @sapphire11 @rangergurlgleek1211 @itshoneywhatever

A lil snippet from a Tarlos fic I'm working on:

On the screen, TK walked out of the church door calmly. He wasn't in a hurry, he wasn't a mess. The only thing that gave away any type of emotion was the clenching and unclenching of his fists. Carlos played back the footage once, then another two times before he admitted defeat. Everyone was waiting for him outside the door, and he was thankful when they didn't speak. "Show me the room he was in?" . When Iris first disappeared, years ago, Carlos had made excuses. He refused to believe she would leave them just like that, and when he found out about her illness, he blamed that. It made him feel better, made him feel less guilty. This wasn't the case with TK. There was no illness to hide behind, and about a million of signs to point to this moment. In the room, there was nothing out of the ordinary. He'd walked out of the church alone. He'd left him a note. There was no room for pretending- TK had left him. . Mateo, Marjan, Nancy and Paul were waiting for him outside the room. "Carlos," Marjan started, but he just shook his head. "I need- I can't be here right now guys." "Do you want us to come with you?" He shook his head again. "I'll be fine on my own." "Carlos-" "He wouldn't leave you," Judd said, stepping closer and into the small corridor. Carlos scoffed. "Listen, man- he wanted to marry you more than anything. Wouldn't shut up about it. It doesn't make sense that would just-" "What, leave?" He interrupted him, "because that's exactly what he did, Judd." Carlos looked away. "I watched him walk out of here, on his own. It might not make any sense, but there's no other explanation here- he left me." .

Writing Poll Tag Game

Rules: Make a 24 hour poll with the names of your WIPs and then for whichever wins, write one sentence for every vote it gets.

Thanks for the amazing @bonheur-cafe for tagging me in this one!

Tagging (no pressure): @tkstrrand @alrightbuckaroo @itshoneywhatever @lambourngb @honestlydarkprincess @lilythesilly @buckybarnesalways @chaotictarlos @noxsoulmate @liminalmemories21

Secret Relationship AU

Thanks @bonheur-cafe for the tag ❤. I know it's supposed to be a Seven Sentence Sunday and this is more than that (by like, A LOT) but i'm too lazy to make two posts and this is the only fic i'm working on atm.

Now

-

"Hey, Evan."

Buck stood up and accepted the hug Maddie pulled him into. It lasted longer than their hugs usually did, but he didn't mind, just put his arms around her and basked in the comfort the embrace provided. "Hey, Maddie."

They took their seats, and Buck went to order coffees for both of them.

"Have you been sleeping?" Was the first thing that came out of her mouth when he came back with their drinks, and he just shrugged.

"Buck," she sighed. "Please talk to me. Something obviously happened and- just a week ago, you seemed so happy. What changed?"

He looked down into his coffee and didn't answer, didn't think he had it in him to talk about what had happened when it still felt like an open wound.

"What happened, Evan?"

He looked up at her and smiled wryly. "I don't think I'm meant to be happy, Maddie."

Her eyes filled with tears and her lips trembled slightly. He took her hand and squeezed it. She squeezed back twice as hard. "Don't you dare say that, Evan Buckley."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not true."

He shrugged. "It sure as hell feels like it is."

-

Then

-

When Buck woke up, he didn't open his eyes immediately. Instead, he basked in the unusual warmth of his bed and the arms around him.

Last night was real, he assured himself. He still didn't open his eyes.

"I know you're awake."

Last night was real.

Dry lips pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw, and his eyes fluttered open. Buck was on his back, his bad wrist still on the pillow, and on his other side, smiling at him sleepily, was Eddie.

Buck resisted the urge to pinch himself.

He moved his hand gingerly and ran it gently through Eddie's hair. The other man moved closer, turned his head to the side to press a kiss to Buck's palm. His heart fluttered.

His arm, the one Eddie was using as a pillow, was numb by now, and with how every move hurt, he had to stay still. His eyes took in Eddie's relaxed features, from his long lashes, to the slope of his nose, to his perfect lips. When he couldn't resist any longer, Buck leaned forward and kissed him, morning breath and all. Eddie didn't seem to mind much as he kissed him back enthusiastically. When they pulled away for breath, Buck lifted up a little and placed a firm kiss on Eddie's forehead.

Eddie hummed, very clearly happy, and Buck settled back onto his pillow.

For a moment, they were quiet, just taking each other in.

Buck still wasn't sure this wasn't a dream. Part of him feared this was another coma dream, that his mind had gotten better at giving him what he wanted.

Something must have showed on his face because Eddie's face softened. "What's wrong?"

"This is real," he asked quietly, "right?"

"Yep." He kissed him hard, bit down on his lower lip. Buck moaned, hand coming up to grip Eddie's hair. Eddie's lips went down a familiar path, and Buck grinned, heart beating frantically in anticipation, closed his eyes.

If this was a dream, he didn't want to wake up.

-

"Hey," Buck said, once they managed to catch their breaths. "Do you have time to eat breakfast?"

"I do."

When they eventually made it downstairs, both dressed in clean sweats and t-shirts, Buck grinned as Eddie grouched about his "freakishly long legs" and the fact that his sweats were almost dragging on the floor.

"You weren't complaining about my "freakishly long legs" yesterday. In fact, I think your exact words were-"

"Shut up," Eddie said, shutting him up with a kiss.

Buck grinned into the kiss, and Eddie pulled away.

"Huh," Eddie said, "if I'd known it would be that easy to shut you up, I'd have kissed you a long time ago."

"Hey!" He protested in mock offense, and Eddie laughed. Buck stilled, watched the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, the way his lips stretched wide against his will, and he fell just a little more in love.

Buck made breakfast while Eddie called Christopher. It was trickier to do one handed, but he managed it. He felt Eddie's eyes on him just seconds before the other man's arms wrapped around him from behind. Buck leaned back into him, closing his eyes for a second to soak in the feeling of home.

"I have to go," Eddie murmured, sounding hesitant. Buck stiffened, but didn’t turn around. Eddie must have felt it, because he hugged him tighter and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "Rain check on breakfast?"

Buck put his hand on Eddie's forearm and squeezed. It was meant to be reassuring, but it felt more like Buck was clinging to him, afraid to let go.

Eddie spun him around gently, kissed him slow and deep, then pressed his forehead to Buck's. "I know we need to talk about this," he told him quietly, "but Buck, I- last night was-"

"If this is you trying to tell me it was a mistake-"

Eddie pulled back and raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "You think I'd still be here, kissing you, if I thought it was a mistake?"

Buck looked away.

Eddie didn't let him. "Look at me."

Buck did.

"It wasn't a mistake," he told him quietly, but with a conviction that made it a little easier to breathe. "I want this," Eddie began, nervous but doing an admirable job of hiding it. "I want to be with you."

Buck sighed. "I feel like there's a but in there."

Eddie sighed. "But- it's a big deal and it won't be easy," he warned. "I have Christopher, and he takes up 90% of my time. Dating me won't be easy. I'll cancel more dates than the ones I'll be able to go on. Sometimes, I might not be able to be there for you when you need me. Spending a night together will need planning, and even those might need to change last minute." He rubbed a hand down his face and Buck caught hold of it before it could drop down to the table. He squeezed his hand in his and tried to smile reassuringly.

"You've been my best friend for almost six years now, Eds," he started, as if Eddie needed reminding. And after that speech, maybe he did. "We've been living out of each other's pockets for the better part of those years. I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly, and so have you." He pulled him in closer, and Eddie gladly took the opportunityto hide, pressing his face into Buck's neck. His light steady breaths on the skin of his neck made him shiver. "You think I went into this without fully knowing I would never be your number priority?" Eddie closed his eyes. "Eddie, you've already canceled plenty of plans, we've already had Christopher crash some of our nights alone. We've already done most of the things people do on dates," he said, then, to lighten the mood, "except for the fun parts, so what makes this any different?"

Eddie pulled away, a ghost of smile on his face, but just as quickly as it came, the smile fell off his face. "Buck, it'll be different. You- what I have to give- it may not be enough for you."

Buck shook his head. "You've always been enough, Eddie."

"You say that now, but-"

"How about this," Buck interrupted him. "Let's give this a shot, okay? We'll try for real for, say, a couple of weeks? And we'll decide by the end of it, huh?"

"A month," was Eddie's answer.

"Is that a yes?"

Eddie rolled his eyes. "It's a yes."

Buck grinned, and couldn't resist hauling him closer into a searing kiss.

...

Tagging (even though it's a little late and almost monday) (also, no pressure): @tkstrrand @lambourngb @lilythesilly @honestlydarkprincess @noxsoulmate

Tagged by @lilythesilly 🤍

From the Buddie Secret Relationship AU

Buck pulls away, but not before he presses a kiss to Eddie's cheek, the corner of his lips. "Eddie, I-" he starts, and Eddie tenses involuntarily, part of him terrified of the words he knows will follow, and another part eager to hear them. Buck's eyes flicker, and Eddie's heart sinks. "I think I have to go," Buck tells him, pulling away even more.

Eddie closes his eyes. He wants to scream, wants to say, "I know that's not what you were gonna say" but he doesn't. He just kisses him again, watches him dress and wishes he was a little braver.

He kisses him goodbye and says, "see you tomorrow," when what he really wants to say is "stay" and "I love you".

Tagging: @bonheur-cafe @honestlydarkprincess @tkstrrand @lambourngb @itshoneywhatever @chaotictarlos @noxsoulmate

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @liminalmemories21 🤍 I have too many WIPs, so i'm sharing snippets from one fic for each fandom lol.

Buddie- Zombie AU

Eddie holds his breath, watches as the man startles at the sight of Chris by his side, then he crouches down to his height, smiles, big and soft and too beautiful for this ugly world they live in and- Eddie is definitely in trouble. Christopher leans closer to the man, and Buck seems to be listening intently, then speaks. He's obviously enthusiastic, gesturing widely with his hands as he speaks. Christopher (and Eddie) is mesmerized.

"How'd you find us?" Maddie asks, eyes squeezed shut. Eddie shakes himself out of the trance.

"I didn't," he tells her, cracks a small smile, "your brother and I just happened to be robbing the same convince store at the same time."

Tarlos- Social Worker AU (this isn't smut, but it IS a makeout lol)

The first time he kissed TK, Carlos was drunk on love and not much else.

It was probably too soon, but somehow, in the span of a month, he'd fallen in love, and it was with a man who seemed to have no interest in a relationship.

"Hey, hey, slow down," he laughed as TK ripped open his shirt, buttons flying everywhere, and wasted no time in kissing his neck, down his chest, and lower still.

Hangster (Fake Dating AU)

"So? Did she give you the shovel talk?" "She did." "Did she ask about the wedding?" "No." "When is the wedding?" Bradley stares at him. "What?" "Do you want to get fake married, too?" Jake just grins.

Tagging (even tho it's a little late): @tkstrrand @bonheur-cafe @honestlydarkprincess @sapphire11 @swiftiebuckleys @lambourngb @noxsoulmate @chaotictarlos @lilythesilly

No Context Spoilers

rule: Share one line from a wip that could be a spoiler, but on its own is not.

Tagged by the lovelies @chaotictarlos and @detective-giggles

The watch secured on his wrist buzzed faintly and he looked down at it. 66:59:59

Tagging: @tkstrrand @noxsoulmate @honestlydarkprincess @lilythesilly @lambourngb

a little challenge: pick out your favourite sentence that you've written recently. one sentence. no context. tag some friends.

Tagged by the lovelies, @morganaspendragonss and @bonheur-cafe 🖤

This is more than one sentence, but-

Eddie rested his head in the hollow of his throat and took a breath. "Tell me we're not making a mistake," Eddie pleaded with him, hands clutched in the back of Buck's shirt. Buck coaxed him out of his hiding spot. "Does this feel like a mistake to you?" Eddie closed his eyes. "No," he whispered.

Tagging the usual suspects: @tkstrrand @lilythesilly @djdangerlove @lire-casander @noxsoulmate @dancer-me @fiancechimneyhan @infp-obsessing-over-everything

Fuck it Friday

Tagged by the lovely @honestlydarkprincess thank you!

Here's some of my Buddie Zombie AU

39:49:49 The man is trailing behind, but his gun isn't pointed at them anymore so that's something. When they make their way out of the store, he steps past them and leads the way across the street, over to a beat up Jeep that has seen better days.

"She's been stabbed- t-twice," the man stutters, "I tried to stop the bleeding, bandage her up, but- she needs stitches, and antibiotics and I can't-"

"Hey," Eddie stops his spiral, "I've done more with less," he assures him. "She's- Maddie?!"

Tagging: @tkstrrand @reyescarlos @lilythesilly @demieddie @detective-giggles @chaotictarlos @noxsoulmate @bonheur-cafe

Finally got to writing, so here's a tiny bit of the Secret Relationship/ Breakup Buddie AU

Buck, of course I'm okay with it," the kid cuts him off, sounding way too grown up. He exhales. "Good. C'mere, kid." Christopher sighs, faking reluctance, but Buck can tell he doesn't really mind. He squeezes him tightly, and that's how Eddie finds them when he steps out of his bedroom, looking stunning in a dark green button up and dark jeans. Buck's breath is knocked out of him, and really, it should be ridiculous; he's seen Eddie wearing similar outfits to all his dates, there's nothing really special about this. Except, it is special, because this time, Eddie dressed up for him, and this time, Buck can look his fill, because he's allowed. "Hi," Eddie says, breathy and quiet. Buck smiles. "Hey."

seven sentence sunday

Thank you, @demieddie for tagging me 🤍 Fic tag games are my favorites lol.

Here are 7 sentences from the Buddie Zombie AU

"Turn around," the voice is smooth, a little shaky, maybe. Eddie does as he's told, using one hand to push Christopher behind him, and raises the other.

"Give me the bandages, and the gauze," the other man tells him, voice as steady as his grip on the gun.

Eddie hesitates, "listen, man, I really need this-"

The gun is raised a little higher. The hands holding it are no longer shaking, but the man's voice is. "Well, so do I."

Eddie takes him in. Blonde, a little taller than him, piercing blue eyes that hold so much depth that Eddie can get lost in them. There's a bruise, or maybe a birthmark, above his eyebrow.

(Probably more than 7, but who's counting?)

Tagging: @tkstrrand @lambourngb @lilythesilly @noxsoulmate @bonheur-cafe

Seven Sentence Sunday!

Tagged by the lovely @honestlydarkprincess 🤍

This is from my buddie secret relationship/breakup, which i wrote years ago but abandoned (and now feel i can rewrite it to fit canon.)

All he knew was that Eddie's lips were on his, his hands seemed everywhere at once, and he wanted more. Buck stepped backwards, and Eddie followed. He unbuttoned his shirt slowly, clumsily, and Eddie was no help at all as his lips trailed off to bite and suck at Buck's neck. Buck gasped and when he couldn't take it anymore, his hand abandoned its mission to rid Eddie of his shirt and found its way into his hair, tugging just hard enough for him to pull back. He brought their lips back together, and the kiss was so hard that when they pulled back, it left Eddie gasping for air "Couch?" Eddie asked breathlessly, and Buck felt a thrill at what the words implied that he almost agreed blindly, ignoring the fact that he'd gotten rid of it just yesterday.

Tagging: @noxsoulmate @tkstrrand @demieddie @sapphire11 @liminalmemories21 @bonheur-cafe @ao3theskyisblue

Tagged by the ever so lovely @honestlydarkprincess 🤍

Tagging: @tkstrrand @lambourngb @noxsoulmate @sapphire11 @rangergurlgleek1211 @bonheur-cafe @lilythesilly and anyone else who'd like to do it!

WIP Friday

Tagged by the lovely @honestlydarkprincess

Rules: Post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file.

File names:

1. Hangster- Fake Dating AU

2. Buddie- Zombie AU

3. Buddie- Secret Relationship/Breakup AU

4. Social Worker AU

5. Tarlos AU

Snippet from Buddie Secret Relationship AU under the cut:

Eddie's fingers traced a path down his chest, his touch light enough that it had Buck squirming, and his lips followed. His breath on Buck's overheated skin was too much and when he couldn't take it anymore, he caught Eddie's chin gently and dragged him up. "You're a tease," he panted into his mouth.

Eddie smirked, opened his mouth to respond, but Buck kissed him again before he could.

The kiss caught fire rapidly, and they didn't talk much after that.

Tagging: @tkstrrand @lambourngb @lilythesilly @ao3theskyisblue @noxsoulmate @morganaspendragonss @demieddie @dancer-me

Seven Sentence Sunday

Tagged by the wonderful @bonheur-cafe 🤍

From the Buddie Zombie AU

"How'd you find us?" Maddie asks, eyes squeezed shut. Eddie shakes himself out of the trance.

"I didn't," he tells her, cracks a small smile, "your brother and I just happened to be robbing the same convince store at the same time."

She chuckles, then groans. "He hates it," she mutters as she closes her eyes.

It instantly puts him on edge. So he tries to keep her talking. "Hates what?"

"Stealing," Maddie answers, "if you can call it that." Eddie scoffs, mutters, "willing to pull a gun on a seven year old and his father, but draws a line at stealing, huh."

"He did what?!"

Tagging: @tkstrrand @reyescarlos @noxsoulmate @sapphire11 @chaotictarlos @demieddie @lilythesilly @swiftiebuckleys @ghosthunterbuck