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whatamidoingwithmylifeman · 3 years

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MK 11 Nozomi vs Canon intro fight dialogues part 2

I FINALLY GOT EM FINISHED!

TW/CW for: Trauma, kidnapping, hints of abuse

Nozomi, Melantha, Shariah, Nyx, Michiko, and Fuyuka all belong to me

the rest belong to midway/NRS

ENJOY

Nozomi: Shariah is nearly done healing if you would like to see her.

Baraka: I will believe that when I see her myself Goddess!

Nozomi: What did I just say?

Nozomi: Hey, does it ever occur to you that I have a mother?

Baraka: You’re still Quan Chi’s spawn.

Nozomi: Yeah but I’m also Fuyuka’s spawn!

Nozomi: I am here to help!

Baraka: We don’t need your help!

Nozomi: That’s not what Kitana said.

---

Nozomi: I appreciate your gratitude Ms. Cage.

Cassie: Don’t sweat it. Just call me Cassie.

Nozomi: Oh? So who’s the humble one now?

Nozomi: Out of my way Cassandra!

Cassie: What has Raiden ever done to you!?

Nozomi: Didn’t he get your mother killed?

Nozomi: I am a mother trying to help her daughter. Move please!

Cassie: And I’m a daughter trying to save her mother!

Nozomi: I promise you, Sonya won’t be hurt.

---

Nozomi: Go home aunt Cetrion.

Cetrion: Nozomi, please don’t do this.

Nozomi: I said, go home!

Nozomi: Did you know the truth too?

Cetrion: Only the One Being knew the soul you harbored

Nozomi: But did you know of his plan to contact that soul?

Nozomi: Aunt Cetrion trust me, Rain would never hurt me.

Cetrion: He has a lot to prove before I believe that.

Nozomi: And here I thought Mom’s judgment was enough for you.

---

Nozomi: My mom isn’t weak!

D’Vorah: Then why does Kronika want her erased?

Nozomi: Cause my mom poses a threat to her!

Nozomi: Tell your new master that if she touches my world, I’ll erase her instead.

D’Vorah: This one would like to see you try.

Nozomi: Watch me!

Nozomi: Want to know a secret D’Vorah?

D’Vorah: And what would that be, Nozomi?

Nozomi: I’m not scared of you either.

---

Nozomi: I’m more than a demi-goddess, Erron.

Erron: Well what in tarnation are you?

Nozomi: A whole mess

Nozomi: Erron I’m not good at anything

Erron: Who hurt you?

Nozomi: A lot of people.

Nozomi: I have it in for a lot of people Black.

Erron: Would those happen to be the same people who hurt you?

Nozomi: Yes. And no.

---

Nozomi: You seek revenge?

Frost: Give me the ideas grandma!

Nozomi: First, who are we going against?

Nozomi: In all seriousness, your mom said you do have a temper.

Frost: A temper that’s saved me!

Nozomi: A temper that has also hurt you.

Nozomi: I am ageless, yes.

Frost: Then you must be older than Kronika herself!

Nozomi: Do you not know how agelessness works?

---

Nozomi: Don’t worry about me uncle Fujin. I’m fine.

Fujin: I am sorry we didn’t get to Gae before he got to you.

Nozomi: He’s dead. We don’t talk about him.

Nozomi: You wanna know what my other goal is?

Fujin: Yes! Please, talk to me.

Nozomi: There is no other goal. There is only revenge.

Nozomi: I must admit, I will miss some people when I go.

Fujin: What is stopping you from staying?

Nozomi: A lot of things Uncle Fujin. A lot.

---

Nozomi: Then you can oppose him?

Geras: You. You are his mother.

Nozomi: I may harbor her soul, but I am not Khaos!

Nozomi: If I have three daughters, I won’t let them be eaten.

Geras: You might not be able to avoid that fate, Nozomi.

Nozomi: That will be one fate I won’t repeat!

Nozomi: Tell me Geras, does Kronika mess with my memories?

Geras: It is the back and forth from your world to ours.

Nozomi: That’s impossible!

---

Nozomi: I never answered your question did I?

Jacqui: What question?

Nozomi: The one of my disappearance after seeing my dad get decapitated.

Nozomi: The family matters my mother is attending is not one I wish to go to

Jacqui: Why not?

Nozomi: I might see him again.

Nozomi: Not my mom, but the sword she wields.

Jacqui: The famed Reaper of Nebulas?

Nozomi: The very same!

---

Nozomi: You made sure to put the books back right?

Jade: I am borrowing one right now

Nozomi: Nobody takes books from mother’s temple!

Nozomi: Platonically means out of friendship

Jade: Oh! What strange language you gods have.

Nozomi: That’s actually an Earthrealm term.

Nozomi: I suggest Melantha. The Goddess of Death herself.

Jade: There is more than one Death deity?

Nozomi: Yes there is.

---

Nozomi: Bold of you to assume we have family get-togethers in the first place, Briggs.

Jax: You’re right. My bad.

Nozomi: No worries Briggs.

Nozomi: Oh yeah? Name one other time I lost my shit!

Jax: When your daddy got his chopped off.

Nozomi: Name another time!

Nozomi: I don’t think Rain wants to go with me

Jax: Long distance relationships can be hard.

Nozomi: Long distance?

---

Nozomi: No. No. Cage, Quan Chi is my dad by birth.

Johnny: What about Raiden?

Nozomi: He’s my dad in spirit.

Nozomi: If you think me controlling lighting is weird just wait til you see the other elements I control.

Johnny: Are you the Avatar?

Nozomi: I need to watch that with Lao again.

Nozomi: You don’t get enough recognition in Hollywood Cage?

Johnny: Not anymore.

Nozomi: Ouch!

---

Nozomi: There are variants to my name depending on the characters used

Kabal: The what?

Nozomi: At least according to Earthrealm customs.

Nozomi: I’m not saying Kristy lied! I’m saying, did she say it was me?

Kabal: Well, not exactly.

Nozomi: So why am I the first person you went to?

Nozomi: No I do not make em revenants like my dad.

Kabal: Then what do you do?

Nozomi: Have you met Michiko and Reiki?

---

Nozomi: Why does my potential union to Rain interest you?

Kano: Bloke owes me a lot of money

Nozomi: And you think I’ll help pay for that? How cute.

Nozomi: I’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget!

Kano: Eh sorry teach. School’s out for the summer.

Nozomi: Welcome to summer school Kano!

Nozomi: A Devil, a Goddess, or a Titan.

Kano: What do all those have to do with me?

Nozomi: Pick whichever you want to call me, but you’re still paying your debt

---

Nozomi: I’m gonna miss you.

Kitana: Won’t you stay?

Nozomi: I’ve stayed long enough

Nozomi: Your friend Jade cares a great deal for you

Kitana: Her, Mileena, and Nyx are like my sisters.

Nozomi: Nyx says hi by the way.

Nozomi: Mileena is worried you don’t care for her

Kitana: What!? I need to invite her over.

Nozomi: Better do it fast

---

Nozomi: Nyx wouldn’t hurt Shariah, Kollector.

Kollector: And you believe that?

Nozomi: I’ve witnessed that

Nozomi: My debts aren’t always of the monetary kind, Kollector.

Kollector: What do you mean by that?

Nozomi: It depends what they offer.

Nozomi: Look, whatever went on between you two is none of my business.

Kollector: Could you atleast talk to her for me?

Nozomi: Fine. But you owe me.

---

Nozomi: He is my dad in spirit

Kotal Kahn: Then who was your dad in birth?

Nozomi: Quan Chi.

Nozomi: If you must no, Shariah has made a full recovery

Kotal Kahn: I’m glad to hear this

Nozomi: So are several others

Nozomi: Do you still wanna see that card trick?

Kotal Kahn: I would actually.

Nozomi: Great! You won’t be disappointed!

---

Nozomi: Ok wise one! Then who would be a better match for me?

Kung Lao: Liu and I are still going over the list.

Nozomi: You two made a list!?

Nozomi: Does Jin want a magic trick done for his birthday?

Kung Lao: He said, and I quote, “If she could poof me up a boyfriend that would be great”

Nozomi: Unfortunately, I am not that talented.

Nozomi: I’ll miss you so much Lao

Kung Lao: Why do you have to leave?

Nozomi: I can’t stand being hurt anymore

---

Nozomi: You and Lao made a list!?

Liu Kang: Ah. Has he told you who’s on that list?

Nozomi: No, but now I wanna know.

Nozomi: Liu, how could I forget the little boy who insisted on holding my hand all the time?

Liu Kang: I really wish you hadn’t reminded me about that.

Nozomi: Why not? It was cute!

Nozomi: I’ll miss you a whole lot Liu.

Liu Kang: Please don’t go!

Nozomi: I have to protect myself somehow.

---

Nozomi: Good news! She’s made a full recovery!

Mileena: Then I’ll throw a celebration for her!

Nozomi: Be careful. She needs to take it easy.

Nozomi: Didn’t think you cared for his happiness

Mileena: Rain’s been a good friend.

Nozomi: Well color me shocked.

Nozomi: Have you been over to Outworld to see your sister?

Mileena: I’m scared she’ll send me away

Nozomi: She won’t. Trust me.

---

Nozomi: I may harbor her soul, but I am not Khaos!

Nightwolf: Deny as you might, she made her home in you.

Nozomi: I didn’t ask her to!

Nozomi: Bad things happen to me a lot, Nightwolf. It’s nothing new.

Nightwolf: Why are you so comfortable with it?

Nozomi: I’m not. That’s why I’m leaving!

Nozomi: Raiden is a good dad.

Nightwolf: He cares a lot about you.

Nozomi: I know he does.

---

Nozomi: Please. What is there for him to brag about?

Noob Saibot: Your ability to fully restore a life.

Nozomi: I forgot he was there for that.

Nozomi: There is a difference between rage and hate.

Noob Saibot: Not for Michiko.

Nozomi: Perhaps she hasn’t had the chance to fully express that.

Nozomi: I am aware where my cousin has chosen to stay.

Noob Saibot: So you’ll take over the Brotherhood of Shadow right?

Nozomi: I thought you wanted to do that.

---

Nozomi: Tell me, why does everyone forget that I am also Goddess of revenge?

Raiden: Cause we’re not used to that side of you.

Nozomi: There are a lot of sides to me you aren’t used to.

Nozomi: Trust me, Rain will be a good husband

Raiden: For his safety, he better be the best

Nozomi: Hey! Enough with threatening my fiance.

Nozomi: I will miss you the most, dad.

Raiden: I promise you, I will do a better job protecting you!

Nozomi: You’re Earthrealm’s protector dad. Not mine.

---

Nozomi: If you don’t want to come with me then maybe we can try long distance?

Rain: But my darling, I would be too hurt without you by my side.

Nozomi: Then join me! Please.

Nozomi: Yeah, I don’t trust Hotaru either. He might get stab happy again.

Rain: Then let me go with you Nozomi.

Nozomi: I don’t wanna risk your health my love.

Nozomi: Rain, I don’t want worshipers or followers.

Rain: But you deserve them.

Nozomi: Not really.

---

Nozomi: What impression do I give Hanzo?

Scorpion: You give off a kind and caring one Nozomi.

Nozomi: Didn’t think I did.

Nozomi: By that description you gave, I say you like Michiko too!

Scorpion: Ahem. No!

Nozomi: I see you blushing Hasashi.

Nozomi: I’m still mad at you for killing my dad!

Scorpion: But wasn’t he found hiding in the void?

Nozomi: You’re lucky he was!

---

Nozomi: Rain won’t hurt me Shang.

Shang Tsung: I will trust your word for now Nozomi.

Nozomi: And I thought we were friends.

Nozomi: But being elusive is like second nature to you.

Shang Tsung: Not with you my dear friend.

Nozomi: Have I had that great of an effect on you?

Nozomi: How could you help her!?

Shang Tsung: Nozomi please. I did not know the One Being had you.

Nozomi: But she did! And you helped her!

---

Nozomi: Touch the sword and I will take your soul!

Shao Kahn: So the little welp wants to follow in daddy’s footsteps?

Nozomi: Follow? I perfect steps not follow them, Shao.

Nozomi: Brainwashing someone isn’t loving them Shao!

Shao Kahn: And what would you know of love?

Nozomi: A lot fucking more than you!

Nozomi: First you snap Lao’s neck and now you wound Shariah?

Shao Kahn: Is the short one gonna do something about it?

Nozomi: I’m gonna kill you over and over again!

---

Nozomi: Surprisingly, not a lot of people are in my debt.

Sheeva: That is a relief to hear.

Nozomi: In fact I collected my last debt a few hours ago.

Nozomi: Good news! Shariah is fully healed!

Sheeva: Then we shall celebrate her recovery!

Nozomi: She does need to take it easy.

Nozomi: Is there anyone you want me to bring back?

Sheeva: I have healed from their deaths. I’m alright.

Nozomi: If you change your mind, you know where to find me.

---

Nozomi: I don’t think there will be a wedding

Sindel: By the gods, what happened?

Nozomi: Rain doesn’t want to come with and he doesn’t seem up for long distance

Nozomi: Shairah has healed completely!

Sindel: Good. Shao Kahn is still paying for what he done

Nozomi: Done and done!

Nozomi: Do me a favor, and don’t get corrupted again.

Sindel: Trust me. I am sticking to Edenia.

Nozomi: Good. Pulling you out of the corruption was a nightmare

---

Nozomi: Shariah is now fully healed.

Skarlet: Tanya and I thank you.

Nozomi: No need to thank me.

Nozomi: I’m taking you up on that offer!

Skarlet: Where is he?

Nozomi: Probably loitering around Raiden’s Sky Temple.

Nozomi: Consider us be-friended.

Skarlet: This is perfect!

Nozomi: Let’s start blood-bending!

---

Nozomi: I am not a sadist. I don’t enjoy torturing people.

Sonya: So just killing them?

Nozomi: Precisely.

Nozomi: I’m not sticking around for anyone, Blade.

Sonya: Why not?

Nozomi: I have been hurt too much.

Nozomi: There are a lot of things you don’t know about Kronika.

Sonya: I’m betting there’s a lot I don’t want to know.

Nozomi: According to mom, yeah.

---

Nozomi: She was still processing what happened.

Sub-Zero: The old grandmaster was a fool to allow Shen to train her.

Nozomi: Had he really not known what Shen was doing?

Nozomi: I’m a titan by origin of my birth Kuai.

Sub-Zero: Then you could’ve taken down Kronika!

Nozomi: Well I wasn’t able to!

---

Nozomi: I can’t risk being hurt again.

Shinnok: I promise you, I will up the guards in the Netherrealm.

Nozomi: I’m not staying.

Nozomi: Uncle Shinnok, Rain’s not gonna hurt me.

Shinnok: I have a torture room with his name if he does.

Nozomi: Uncle Shinnok!

Nozomi: If I don’t get to, tell aunt Charu I’ll miss her

Shinnok: This is like losing my sister all over again.

Nozomi: Hey, I’m not gonna be trapped anywhere.

---

Nozomi: Dad, I can’t stay.

Quan Chi: Isaac won’t hurt you again.

Nozomi: It’s not just Isaac!

Nozomi: I don’t think there’s gonna be a wedding.

Quan Chi: Ah so death is the flavor of cake Rain wants.

Nozomi: Dad!

Nozomi: I know seeing loved ones go is hard, but I’m not dying.

Quan Chi: But I’m afraid you will.

Nozomi: My heart’s not as bad as it was.

---

Nozomi: You can try, but you’ll die before you even reach me.

Hotaru: Don’t underestimate my tracking abilities, Nozomi.

Nozomi: I’m doubting your attentiveness Hotaru.

Nozomi: I still haven’t thanked you.

Hotaru: For what?

Nozomi: For helping Rain find me when you did.

Nozomi: If you make my cousin upset one more time, I’m taking your head.

Hotaru: Not if I take yours first!

Nozomi: Oh it’s on!

---

Nozomi: My sword is sharp too.

Reiko: I prefer your tongue.

Nozomi: Well you won’t be keeping yours!

Nozomi: Out!

Reiko: I didn’t even get a chance to speak.

Nozomi: I don’t care. Go!

Nozomi: You being told you were a blood God ain’t impressive.

Reiko: Aww darn.

Nozomi: Besides, what’s a God to a Titan?

---

Nozomi: My son. I am so sorry.

Meat: Why do you have to leave?

Nozomi: I can’t stand being hurt again.

Nozomi: You won’t get flesh. I will make sure nobody gives you any

Meat: You can’t do that if you leave.

Nozomi: I can’t heal if I stay.

Nozomi: Hey good news son. Shariah is fully healed.

Meat: Oh good. I was worried for my friend.

Nozomi: She was worried about you too.

@deepinthefog @yuvononik @merplderpl @tora-lotus @ls-double-spoiler @irrelevant-subjects @toomanyf4ndoms7 @starneko123 @loverofthewindgod @dontunderestimatemypoison @feistyfandomthings @harrissa-hoe @catornek @doodlewagonbug @calcium1790 @daddydestrey

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c7thetumbler · 4 years

Text

Quick Game Reviews: Games I played 2019

Hey All! We’re doing this again. Just a quick run down/impression of every game I played in 2019 (not necessarily released this year), and whether or not I recommend it and how much.

I don’t really do much creatively now a days. Or at all really so this is just a thing I’ll do.

Let’s get going; there are 55 individual items on this list this year, and 2 of them are trilogies, and then there’s Pokemon in there too, so you know there’s a rant coming! That’s a lot of ground to cover.

... I forgot how to do the tumblr bars that I use to separate sections so it’s just gonna be one big thing separated by just pictures instead after this keep reading split. There’s a lot of games.

Sonic Forces [Steam]

Coming off of Sonic Mania, this certainly served as a wake-up call as to what the Sonic franchise currently is, and how important it is that you have designers that know how to use the mechanics they’re building. It’s not “Bad”, but a lot of parts of it are. Modern Sonic stages are short but fun, the avatar stages had potential but fell short when they focused on the more tedious aspects of combat while platforming, which made the Avatar + Sonic stages a midway point between “Eh” and “Eugh”. Classic Sonic stages were just straight up really bad; They feel weird to play and don’t have any flow going to them whatsoever, which is really bizarre given they had the Sonic Mania team and didn’t work with them to build good levels, and how Sonic Generations at least understood parts of what made Classic Sonic good.

Not a terrible Sonic experience, but an incredibly skippable one at best. Play Colors and Mania instead.

Gizmo [Steam]

Gizmo is a “Prototype” of a 3D platformer that never came to be. As their steam store page suggests, they really love the genre and there’s a lot they wanted to do with it, but they realized that it was out of their scope so they packaged up the level they had and released it for free on steam. Honestly, it’s a really good start and I had a lot of fun with the one level they made; I really wish they could’ve made the full game but absolutely massive props for releasing what they did.

It’s free, like 3D platformers in any regard? Try it.

Suzy Cube [Steam]

Another 3D platformer, but this one’s in the vein of Super Mario 3D Land. Actually... It really IS Super Mario 3D Land in most ways. Definitely not a bad thing; if you’re going to emulate another platformer SM3DL is a good way to go, but that’ basically the experience here; SM3DL but with simpler design and controls, a little floatier as well. Levels are linear but there’s some good stuff in there, though the bosses are very repetitive and do take their sweet time near the end.

Like SM3DL? I Did, and this is more of that, so go ahead

Octopath Traveler: Wayfarer’s Edition [Switch]

I spent a few hours on this and only got to 3/8 characters (this is very little into the game). I can see a JRPG fan loving this, but to me the few mechanics they did introduce where definitely interesting in battle, but were a bit overwhelming and disparate outside of it. This isn’t bad; they definitely mostly allow for different interactions between you, the world, the NPCs and all those interacting with each individual character uniquely, but I wasn’t really in a mood to piece together a great, well-fleshed-out world.

JRPG fans will like it, and while I’m not one of them I can see there’s a lot to like here

The Marvellous Miss Take [Steam]

A Stealth game where you wander the halls of various galleries (levels) and try and steal all your art back without getting caught, as one of I believe 3 different characters (I only got two). Again, I’m a bit out of my element here. I’m not a huge fan of stealth games, as one mistake usually means tossing the whole experience out, but honestly this is a very well stylized, neat take on it so it’s some fun for sure.

A fun romp for Stealth fans, and there’s a lot of missions and variations to take on.

Donut County [Steam]

Donut County is a game not unlike Katamari Damacy where you gather objects to get larger to gather larger objects. Where it varies however is that each level is a linear “puzzle” where you try and figure out how your hole interacts with the environment and what order you need to make things fall in it. It’s a fun experience, but missing any sort of replay-ability or nuance, so the Katamari comparison really ends after the immediate premise. That being said, it’s funny, well-stylized, and a nice little time. The interactions you have with the various elements on screen and the whole are interesting and make for some interesting puzzles and funny situations, but it can’t or at least doesn’t really go very deep with it.

A fun, quirky indie experience. Worth a shot if you want a charming, funny game to have a short but interesting time with.

Ittle Dew 2 [Switch eShop]

Ittle Dew 2 is an incredibly good Zelda-like. Like, very incredibly good. There’s a whole lot to explore, there’s tons of secrets, every part of it oozes charm and character. There’s tons to do and get, and there’s absolutely no shortage of difficulty. There’s even a whole lot of super-secret, incredibly difficult content that ranges from “Oh that was nice to stumble on” to nightmare-inducing monsters in hidden dream worlds accessible only via looking it up or remembering every detail you stumble on and piecing together a series of steps that rival ARGs. That being said, it’s satisfying just to beat alone without going that hard, but man, finding the rest is a whole new experience.

I can’t recommend this enough. This is an excellent, well-made adaptation on the top-down adventure model

Nippon Marathon [Steam]

This is an interesting little game, but for me it fell very short. It’s definitely a better multiplayer experience than single, but it stands on it’s premise: you’re a character running an incredibly bizarre race as if you’re in a Japanese gameshow. It’s funny and weird, and honestly not a bad premise... but for me, it fell on it’s face when you finally figure out how everything works, and suddenly you realize how incosistant and random parts of the games that shouldn’t be are. Platforming is weird, CPUs range from obnoxious to completely useless, and the story itself loves to put like 5-9 cut-scenes between actual gameplay.

Fun with Friends, but only very shortly. I’d just recommend Mario Party honestly.

Super Dungeon Boy [Steam]

This is a pretty standard, level based indie pixel platformer. You can decide whether or not to use checkpoints, when to activate them, and find quite a bit of secrets. Honestly, it’s not bad, but it doesn’t really do anything particularly interesting and I found it overstaying its welcome near the end.

It’s not bad, but you’re better off with some more notable Indie 2D platformers.

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy [Steam]

As a big fan of classic 3D platformers, it was a crime that I never got into Crash back in the day. I did try and get through the original Crash on an emulator years later, but honestly I’m glad I waited for this. This trilogy faithfully recreates the original 3 crash platformers, for better or for worse. I loved playing through Crash 1; It’s playstyle is a product of its time, but it’s still really fun and has a lot of secrets. Crash 2 expands on that, adding even more levels and secrets while keeping the core gameplay the same. Crash 3... Did the thing that a lot of series of the time liked doing: focusing on minigames rather than the actual platforming. 2/5 levels in each of the worlds were normal levels, the rest were underwater, auto-runners, races, etc. Additionally, 1 clearly got the most love, 2 did a pretty good job, but 3 was less polished overall. Looks like they ran through the games and were running short on time near the end, and the Spyro trilogy sees this too. It’s a shame, but I digress.

Worth the purchase for classic-lovers, but parts of it needs to be enjoyed with that time of game design in mind as well; There are a few unintuitive secrets and minigames that don’t hold up in the modern age.

Grapple Force Rena [Steam]

So I’m a big fan of GalaxyTrail, the indie company behind this game and Freedom Planet because of how good the latter was. Before Sonic Mania, I would’ve called Freedom Planet the best 2D Sonic game. It’s a great experience that gets its core gameplay and is genuinely a fun time, but has moments where it falls on its face before picking itself up again. Notably Boss fights and Story in FP were pretty jarring against the rest of the gameplay (Boss fights could get PAINFULLY hard, story meandered and got weird). Overall I was excited to play another game from them.

Grapple Force Rena has similar problems with it’s Boss fights being pretty bleh, it’s story being quite bizarre (but not bad, just weird), but with it’s gameplay being pretty good still. Not FP good, but good. I’m thinking this is just something the designers need to work through; Bosses doing things off-screen and being unpredictable is a common theme, but their level-design is really good so I’m still looking forward to their future work.

Another 2D Indie-platformer with a fun gimmick, good for a nice time if you’re in the mood for it.

Deep Rock Galactic [Steam]

You and some friends pick one of 4 up-gradable, customizable mining classes and launch onto an alien planet infested by bugs to complete various mining objectives, usually mining a certain amount of special minerals or destroying specific bug targets. The mines are procedurally generated which is neat, and the humor’s pretty funny, but at the time it could get pretty repetitive.

You can also get overwhelmed really fast if you’re not careful, but honestly like Left 4 Dead that has it’s own charm in some ways. It’s all about who you play with. I wouldn’t be opposed to revisiting this one day if/when it has enough content.

It’s a lot of fun with friends, but you may get bored of it after a few missions and you run into the same patterns and environments in the randomizer.

Wargroove [Steam]

This was an attempt to try and get into the strategy genre again for me. It’s definitely a charming, well-polished game, but I found after a couple levels its slower pace and more strategic elements (literally the point of the game) just wasn’t for me (I’m very bad at strategy games (dumb)). There’s definitely a lot here for those who are into the genre, but I have a feeling with how much buzz was generated over this the people who would like it know they would.

A well-made take on Advance Wars and grid tactics games, but definitely not for me

Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing [Steam]

I picked this up because I remembered how fun its sequel was, that the sequel to that is coming out this year (later in this very post), and that I never beat it on the 360. Definitely a fun game in its own right, and you can see how well it was expanded on in the sequel, but it also has a variety of its own issues. Mainly, Super Monkey Ball stages are geometric, really bad levels, and there’s a pretty small amount of levels overall. Overall though, the challenge mode is a lot of fun and this would be a fun multiplayer racing game.

Also doesn’t run/upscale well on modern PC, so make of that what you will. Overall this didn’t age well; maybe on console where it runs without PC variables messing with things, but this in and of itself was Sega’s first, admittedly very good, step into the kart-racing genre.

It’s great, but just get the sequel, Transformed. It does everything better, rivaling Mario Kart 8 and beating it in some areas even.

Risk of Rain 2 [Steam]

I played this when it first “entered” Early Access, so it’s probably an even better experience now. It’s a good time running around, learning each character and power-up, and figuring out how everything interacts for sure, but it can also get very frustrating very quickly. additionally once you start looping it gets pretty dull; you’ve basically seen everything the game has to offer after your second loop. This is a pretty common problem for a lotta proc gen games though. It’s a fun 3D combat romp with interesting ways of expressing variety, but I’d wait until it gets more content if it hasn’t already

Yoshi’s Crafted World [Switch]

This game gets a lot of praise, and honestly I can see why. It’s the essential 2D Yoshi experience with a cute theme and a whole lot of things to do and collect. I definitely enjoyed my time with it, but I found myself burned out about halfway through. It was very strange.

Levels each try and have one new mechanic in them, and the play with the foreground, background, flipping levels and all that is neat, but together it just kind equates to more sub-areas than really anything effective there. Additionally the styling is somewhat inconsistent (Why are some characters like Piranha plants and shy guys just kinda normal when everything is made of crafts? How come the Yoshis are just fuzzy yoshis, is that supposed to be felt?), and even some of the color tones hurt my eyes during extended play. That being said, while I preferred Wooly World, this really is a great 2D Yoshi experience and worth a pick-up. I believe it even has a demo.

Sea of Thieves [Windows 10 Store, Gamepass]

Gamepass was a buck for 3 months so I gave this a pick-up with some buds. I really enjoyed my experience with it; the random sea monster fights were really intimidating (at first) the quests they added in the update this year were pretty entertaining, and PvP can sometimes be fun.

... But then you get a game where you spend the entire 5 hour session fighting with a group of griefers who only want to sink your ship and then find you again when you respawn, meaning you get 0 gold for it. They needed a lot more variety for combat and sea monsters as well. Megaladons were scary at first, but eventually they just turn into a nuisance, and the Kraken is pretty vanilla as well. All in all, it’s a fun experience with a group of 3 friends who are into it as well, but the lack of goals and directions can turn you off pretty quick if you can’t make your own fun of it.

Snake Pass [Windows 10 Store, Gamepass]

This one is honestly pretty fun and I didn’t give it enough time at the... time? Good words C, doesn’t matter only King’s reading at this point. Hi King.

Anyway, the game controls surprisingly well once you get the hang of it. Oh I should explain it. Hey this is a game where you control the head of a snake and then use the rest of it to grip onto ropes, platforms, sticks, vines, etc. to traverse a level. It’s pretty fun, and there are a lot of collectibles to keep you busy too. Again I didn’t finish it, but it definitely seemed pretty doable and didn’t overstay its welcome. I’d give this a hearty recommendation overall, but the controls very much make it not for everyone.

Team Sonic Racing [Steam]

I’m gonna be contrasting this one with the next one, Crash Team Racing, quite a bit here. First though, after S&SASR:T (nice acronym), my hopes were high on another racing game from these guys, especially one that narrowed its focus down to just Sonic since that would allow it do depth instead of breadth. In some ways I got what I wanted; mechanically the team stuff is really fun and interesting, and the racing itself holds very well. Thematically just using wisps for items is also pretty good... but...

The roster, level, and car variety kinda suck. There are only 4-5 teams, some of them don’t make any sense, and with Sonic’s gigantic roster that’s a crime. They did the small roster in order to have unlockable parts (I believe it was 30 per car?), but honestly that just allows you to min-max or play what character you want without actually playing different styles. Half the levels are re-used, and the single-player mode is really not much better than the first game in the series. That being said, it’s a shame they didn’t go hard on the roster and marketing, because this game shines with how much better it plays than most other Kart racers and how deep the team mechanics can go. I really want to recommend this one, but since there’s no competitive community and the online is dead, I really can’t say it’s even better than the last game in the franchise, which is better for a casual dip into because it’s best mechanics are pretty surface level and quick to get.

Crash Team Racing Nitro Fueled [Switch]

This game has the opposite problem than the last one: way too much characters variety, not enough depth. I get that this is a remake, and that they had to stay faithful in some regards, but to me this just didn’t age well at all. it feels stiff, you can get screwed over at the wrong time and throw the whole race, the challenges can be very unforgiving for that reason, and holy funk the loading times. I averaged 40 second load times on the Switch, and yeah it’s not the most powerful console in all existence, but that’s just gross. They did an update that improved it a little after I had finished playing but I have no interest in going back.

This is faithful, colorful remake as far as I can tell, so if it’s for you you already have it and likely love it. As a modern day kart racer, building off what the genre’s learned for the past 20 years? Mario Kart 8 and Sonic Transformed blow it out of the water.

Super Mario Maker 2 [Switch]

How many games are left- oh jeez I’m not even halfway done. Why did I save this all for the end of the year.

Super Mario Maker 2 improves on the original in almost everyway, with the exception being that the online is still pretty not good and you should be able to download and edit other peoples levels. The Single-Player campaign is a very welcome addition, I’m not a huge fan of the 3D world style but it’s there and okay, and multiplayer can be fun. When it works. Very rarely.

The lack of amiibo costumes also kinda sucks, but honestly with how much content there already is and how well they supported the last game, this game really should’ve been something I revisited constantly. However due to my own personal “journey” (personal character traits that are generally negative and get in the way of me actually doing and enjoying things), the creative spark I had that made me really want to create and share levels just isn’t there, so this fell off my radar pretty fast after several frustrating moments both making and playing.

It’s still a fantastic game, and I would heartily recommend it. But don’t go into it expecting modern day QoL online features..

Earth Defense Force 5 [Steam]

Fight giant ants, Frogs, aliens, and God. Get all sorts of crazy, hilarious weapons and robots.Play with friends for best experience. 10/10

Basically the same exact game as the last one, and they changed the song you sing to be worse. 1/10

Look it up on Youtube and you’ll know basically immediately if this is the game for you. It’s obscenely long and repetitive, think Hyrule warriors level of repeating content, so if you’re not into it, you’ll never even beat one run.

Evoland Legendary Edition [Steam]

This is a cute idea that’s done relatively well. You go through the whole game “unlocking” very basic features which match up with the general progression of adventure -> RPGs through the years, getting more and more complex as the game goes on. It’s nice, it’s funny, it doesn’t try to be to intense or in some cases polished (and indeed that’s the point sometimes).

It’s not really anything groundbreaking, but I had a smile on my face as I went through it so if it’s on sale and you want some nostalgia based humor, you can’t go wrong with this one.

Minit [Steam]

This was one I was expecting to be a short, rather bland idea that I would think “Oh, that’s cute” and then walk away from. And I mean it was, but it was also surprisingly well done and polished, which is odd to say about a 2-color game where the gimmick is dying a lot.

It’s true though; you pick up the cursed sword and from then on it’s a classic top-down adventure game ala Zelda where you have 60 seconds (one minute) to do something in the world to progress. This can range from moving an obstacle, finding a new item, setting a new spawn point, or just learning something new. It’s pretty fun and very clever. Honestly a really fun little adventure. Again, short but very sweet, and there’s a lot of replayability for secrets and speedruns if you’re into that

OKAMI HD [Steam]

I’ve always heard great things about this game, and honestly I can see it. But like... it felt like 45 minutes of cutscenes back to back before the game even starts, and after that it is not afraid to stop you even more to explain. I get it’s an older game, and I’d probably have really liked it back in the day on the DS, but oof, this could’ve used some modernization. It’s a pretty game, but I couldn’t get very far. It definitely tells more than it shows, and I don’t have that much patience, but there’s definitely an audience for it so I’d use someone else’s recommendation to determine whether or not you want to pick this up

Speebot [Steam]

I have a lotta platformers on my list this year. This is another puzzle platformer, you play as a little robot and try to get to the end of each winding level. Some have powerups like an umbrealla that lets you go further, a jet pack to jump higher, etc. Each level has a collectible or something along those lines, and honestly it’s not a bad game by any stretch.

But with all the other platformers I’ve played, and with the weird angle this one sticks to it’s hard for me to recommend, especially when you hit the “final” level and find out there’s a lot more game but you can’t beat that level until you go back and find everything. Again; not a bad game, but you can do far better in this genre.

Dr Mario World [Android]

I really wanted to like this game because I like Dr. Mario, but man they did a whole lot wrong. For starters: gacha needs to die. It’s gambling in Mario, so focused on kids. even its advertisements were very kid focused, so they should feel ashamed of themselves for that. They only kinda get away with it because the gacha does incredibly little past getting a slight advantage in Multiplayer vs, but we’ll get to that.

The story mode starts out fine. Pills move up, you need to clear all the viruses in the set amount of turns, your score is determined by your combos & pills remaining, etc. That part’s not bad until you get later in the game when you realize oh, some of the viruses are random, and so are your pill colors, so sometimes you just lose a level and that’s it. Getting all the stars on a single level later in the game turns into spending all your stamina and hoping for good stuff and luck on your character’s abilities getting proc’d, which since most of them are useless that doesn’t happen often. That’s when this feels more like a cheap puzzling phone game than it does a well-tested, polished experience like what I typically think of with Dr. Mario. So it doesn’t at all feel like a Dr.Mario game despite trying really hard to be, and with how hard games on mobile already pretend to be Nintendo games, it feels like one of the cheap knock-offs.

Multiplayer vs is a little better in feeling like Dr. Mario, but WAY WORSE when it comes to luck and character choice. Each character has an attack (how many rows you send over to the other side) and defense (How likely your character will block rows sent over). Winning strat is to go HARD on defense (best you can do is ~75% chance of defense without more buffs iirc), or go full glass cannon and win fast. Peach for example can buff up to 76%, maybe even 80% with the right gacha rolls, which allows you to more or less consistently rely on your own skill for clearing the board. But she’ll only send over one row at a time, where say Bowser can send over 4. Sure, odds are he’ll miss, but he’s going to try several times and it only takes one landed shot to kill you. If you clear all your viruses, 3 more rows appear for each player, but if it’s time with an attack, hey look, 7 rows and whatever pills were floating are now landed, so you just immediately lost.

This is a bad game, and not even a Dr. Mario experience. Skip it; you can do better on mobile in this genre, or just pay for a game that’s worth your time.

Slap City [Steam]

So I’ve not played much of this, in fact I got it recommended by a coworker, but this guy is a comp melee player and said this game slaps. that was really funny C so it’s a 2D platform fighter filled with wacky characters from the studio who brought you Ittle Dew 2 (which you should play) and Princess Remedy (Which is free, and you can also play). It’s unique in that it knows it’s ridiculous, and it doesn’t have characters that feel like smash bros character clones. It’s physics are pretty interesting too, so I can say This is like smash bros, but in its own unique way, and you should give it a go if you’re itching for smash you can play on PC

Pokemon Masters [Android]

Another cruddy gacha game! This time with your favorite pokemon characters who are finally given personality that the games themselves never did well enough because GameFreak can’t do story. Is that unecessarily harsh on Gamefreak? Maybe, but maybe they should make better games that are actually better games! Anyway, this one isn’t made directly by Gamefreak and I’m letting my anticipation of reviewing Shield spoil this one.

So when this was first announced I thought it was going to pair with pokemon Home, and be the “Battle Frontier/ Stadium” that would constantly be updated and supported along with the mainline games, as well as add new interesting challenges and challengers while allowing each individual character and battle type to shine.

What it ended up being was a gambling simulator that you can grind the same 3 missions for weeks and weeks to level up your duos enough beat the main story. Like, I’ll give them credit for not doing stamina and actually writing the characters, and the core gameplay isn’t bad, but don’t waste your time with this; it certainly loves doing so for the sake of convincing you to drop more money on it to get it to stop.

Dragon Quest Builders 2 [Switch]

Surprise hit this year. Honestly massive props to King, who is again the only one reading this so Hi King, for recommending me this for my long flights to and from CA this year. I played it for weeks afterwards, and even wanted to 100% it. It’s like what if you took minecraft but actually made it so your villagers were people with personality who had lives and could maintain and use all your rooms, which could be given specific purposes. Why yes, this is a kitchen that you can use in conjunction with a dining room to make a restaurant supplied by the storage room filled with crops from the nearby farm you don’t even need to maintain after you set everything up!

My only complaint with this is you can hit the villager cap very quickly, and that the story can overstay it’s welcome (it was like 60 hours for me). It’s on Steam now, and I suspect modders will help out with those complaints though, so now they just need to add switch save cross-play and JEEZ people need to get this game so we could all build a massive self-sustaining utopia. Get the Steam version because it’ll eventually allow you to mod out the restrictions, but to me this is Minecraft but better in every way. i can’t recommend this enough in that regard.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna, The Golden Country [Switch]

So last year I had problems recommending Xenoblade II- wait was it last year or the year before? Doesn’t matter; I still do, but I finally decided to give this game DLC/Prequel a go. To my surprise it’s... in the same boat, but for different reasons. Let me explain:

I want to recommend XBCII for the plot, but I can’t because it’s so heavy in fanservice, anime tropes, and genuinely bad jokes and writing that the parts I want to focus on are undermined, and the parts I want to say are so bad it’s good are as well. This prequel I want to recommend because the plot sets up weird elements and makes the main game make more sense, but one of the main characters’ motivations still make no sense with their actions in the next game and you really do need to have played the original to get it. I will say, the ending of the prequel’s tone sets up and contrasts really nicely with the tone throughout the original. Also Rex is a complete idio-

I want to recommend XBCII for the combat, but it doesn’t work until you get 85% the way through, which is 60 hours of your time that I can’t ask of you if I can’t even play games for an hour when they frontload their tutorials. This prequel has better, more streamlined combat, but in someways it removes aspects of the combo system that really brought the original together (at the end), and the only super amazing fight is the final battle, which is again a long ask.

The Prequel definitely improves the QOL, getting rid of the gacha blade system for set party members, and really doesn’t waste your time there, but it’s also lacking in its world in that you only explore 3 titans, half of one isn’t present, but I don’t know what I expected with DLC.

Anyway, play this if you enjoyed Xenoblade Chronicles II, but as a standalone or intro into it, it’s another difficult recommendation for me to give.

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening [Switch]

Remember on WiiU when games that were remakes were priced less than the $60 asking price, even though they added a fair amount of content? I miss that.

Anyway, it’s Link’s Awakening that’s been heavily stylized and has a number of QOL improvements. It looks very pretty and plays well (drops frames a lot though which is strange), but it doesn’t add much other than a dungeon maker mode which doesn’t work online and is incredibly bland and limited, as well as a hero mode which is pretty straightforward there; just a hard difficulty with some knobs turned to make it so.

Link’s Awakening DX is available right now to buy on the 3DS eshop for like $6, and is a very close experience. I can’t say the graphics, QOL improvements, and single very underwhelming feature addition justify a $60 price tag. If it ever goes on sale for $30, sure, but it’s Zelda so don’t hold your breath.

Bomber Bother [Steam]

TRANS RIGHTS. ARE HU-MAN, RIGHTS

clap clap

Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair [Switch eShop]

This is a very interesting, well-designed game from the 3D overworld to almost every 2D level that was clearly lovingly crafted that I would heartily recommend...

HOWEVER. It has one major flaw: It’s first and “final” level, The Impossible Lair, and that’s it’s premise.

It is incredibly unforgiving (I get that’s the point), very unfair (Again, I get that’s the point) and you’re supposed to lose it. A lot. And when you do, the villain who cheated laughs in your face and plants a big EPIC FAIL stamp on screen. You know; disparaging the player for doing exactly what they’re supposed to do.

The main crux is that you once the game kills you and decides that was your fault, you run through many actually good levels that change depending on the 3D environment around them that you can manipulate to unlock additional hits to take into the impossible lair. Problem is even after you get all 48 hits, you’ll find that one mistake can cost you several hits at once. Because the level is garbage and incredibly unfair. This aint the Dark Souls of platformer levels; this is the incredibly hard Mario Maker level with a 0.000001% clear rating because it dropped thwomps on you out of no where near the end of the level. Only throughout the level. With changing physics and underwater sections.

You get the point. If you can stomach playing an incredibly bad level, which unfortunately was the main draw of the game, the rest is a very solid Donkey Kong Country style platformer. But also: Tropical Freeze exists on Switch right now, and while it doesn’t have the 3D overworld gimmick, it doesn’t have that bad level problem either, sooooooooooooooooo weigh those options.

Ring Fit Adventure [Switch]

This was a surprising announcement and release, and not just because the premise was crazy and weird, but that it was actually by itself a good game. You run through a world using the Joy Con strapped to your leg and jump, blast, and manipulate air using the ring, which is actually pretty good at reading your inputs, as well as putting up enough resistance to put up a work out. The RPG mechanics itself are pretty straight-forward, but they work for doing reps and working up a sweat.

I can’t speak for how good this is at losing weight; I have a terrible track record with exercise which always kills it no more than 2 weeks in, and every review I’ve seen (not that many admittedly) says it’s good for working up a sweat and they didn’t gain weight, but they also didn’t see any loss. That being said, I’m sure this pairs excellently with diet and is fun in it’s own right. It’s a surprisingly great, charming game all by itself, and a good way to keep in motion, but don’t expect it to work miracles on it’s own.

Mario Kart Tour [Android]

This is the most Pay-to-win, exploitative, disgusting gambling game aimed at kids using a beloved franchise video game I’ve ever seen. Do not buy this, and if anything actively encourage Nintendo to do better.

Well, that was easy.

....

So I guess justifying that, fine whatever. Each course has a small number (sometimes only one of each) of characters, karts, and gliders that are in focus, and without the right ones in the second half of each “tour” you won’t be able to get enough stars to get the gifts in the tour, which allow you to play the gacha for the EXTREMELY LIMITED characters in focus for at most 2 weeks, usually only one. Additionally you get a pitiful amount of rubies (rolling currency) each tour anyway.

You can do some challenges on the side for more stars, but it’s calculated in such a way that you absolutely must do those challenges to get enough stars to get all the gifts anyway, and half of those require specific characters as well. Often times the characters which are on sale in the weekly $20-$40 character packs, which is disgusting. Also, rolling the same character/kart/glider (we’ll say items now) increases the “Skill” of that item, which maxes out at a level of 6. Now that doesn’t mean 6 duplicates will max it out and you won’t roll them again; each skill level requires more and more dupes to complete. For rare characters which you have to pay over $200 to guarantee you’ll roll, you’ll need to do it at least 10 times.

Sad about how little rubies you’re getting? Excellent news! The bonuses other games usually give out to get you to keep playing are locked behind a subscription service. for only $4.99 a month, you can play a free-to-play game that actually wants to hook you on paying for the gacha. Since it’s a much better experience when it actually wants to care about your existence (now that you’ve proven you have a credit card and are willing to drop money on this game), you’ll be duped into going on forums and explaining how actually the subscription pass is an amazing deal! Praise Nintendo, as you spend $60 in a year for a version of Mario Kart that doesn’t play well, is completely random, and doesn’t reward you for skill as much as it does taking your money.

Do not even download it. This will be a case study in the future when we review how developers used the psychology of sunk cost and addiction to sell virtual items to the masses using brands they trusted.

Evoland 2 [Steam]

So whereas the first game was just a quirky little game that was having fun with a gimmick, this game appears to be an actual, fleshed out JRPG with some puzzley, platformer elements thrown in. Which is cool, and I don’t necessarily mind. There’s still some charm going on with the style changing and the mechanics of traveling through time in both the mechanics and the story.

But it’s a very different game in tone and execution. It’s for sure not a bad experience, but a more traditional JRPG one, which I wasn’t in the mood for when I picked this one up

Spyro Reignited Trilogy [Steam]

This has a lotta similar beats to the Crash Trilogy: The first game is well-done, the second is even better, but the third one is a little less polished and the presence of minigames is... disappointing. That being said, I liked this one a whole lot better than Crash. The music is fantastic, The level design for the most part is really well done, It’s got it’s own style and charm, and the gameplay itself holds up surprisingly well. Unlike the Crash Trilogy, I actually was very happy to 100% all three games. Whether you’re new to classic Spyro or want to relive it, it holds up very well in this trilogy. Protip: you can just delete the movie files for the startup logos and intro to immediately get into the game menu.

That being said, in some aspects they were a little TOO faithful. All the characters existing in multiple places at once and feeling really stilted wasn’t really needed and they could’ve done better there. The skateboarding minigame is buggy and awful as all hell, I would’ve liked to have seen the speedway courses more fleshed out, and honestly I think it would’ve been cool to see a new level or two just to show that the developers can match the magic.

I mean that’s the point of these, right? To gauge the interest in re-introducing classic Spyro formula for future games? And not just a cash grab working of nostalgia for those sweet sweet moneybags?

Anyway, Activision making you sign a 42 page disclaimer before playing single player games is pure nonsense, what is that abou-

Luigi’s Mansion 3 [Switch]

This game is really good. I was a little worried after Dark Moon that it’d be incredibly linear, and to be fair... It kind of is. But in a good way, where you can explore a bit as you go through, and even revisit past areas with the knowledge gained from future floors for goodies, and honestly at this point we know I’m a sucker for collectathons so yeah.

Gameplay-wise it build on Dark moon’s mechanics while adding a few clever ones of its own. It’s incredibly well done and Next Level Games really made a gigantic effort to make each character express themselves in their own way, even if they were clearly somewhat limited for like Peach or Mario (Kinda weird how they seem to express themselves via their Spin-off like out bursts of “yahoo” and “Oh my” but that’s nitpicky af). The game is packed with secrets and is really funny and clever about them, as well as containing subtle nods to not just things present in the original but also how the original was structured for the longtime fans of the series. As a single player game, it’s a genuinely great time.

As a multiplayer game? It’s pretty good too. Scarescraper was a fun mode in Dark Moon and I’m glad to see it back, and for a few rounds it’s genuinely a fun time. Like all Proc Gen games though, you start to get a feel for what happens where and it becomes pretty easy to complete each floor and even carry teams which otherwise wouldn’t have succeeded. In that way, I’m both a little happy the Multiplayer will be getting DLC to add more variety, and dissappointed that it wasn’t there in the first place since right now Scarescraper is a carbon copy of how it was in Dark Moon. But I mean, it’s fun and they didn’t have to do it, so it’s definitely still worth a play.

Basically this is the best Luigi’s Mansion experience, and a must-have on switch. Next Level Games is a wonderful studio, and I’m happy to see them knock this out of the park.

If only that 3DS remake of the original was on switch instead tho

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games: Tokyo 2020 [Switch]

It’s really weird how this series plays out. It’s a pretty fun game in it’s own right, but what doesn’t make sense to me is their character choice. Clearly this is a fanservice series; Mario & Sonic characters duking it out in a friendly setting where nothing really matters to either franchise, and a little story that provides historical info about the olympics at the same time. It’s fun, for sure, but why does it limit some characters to just single events? Fan favorites like Diddy, Rouge, Rosalina, and Espio (and boring characters like the koopalings or the deadly six) really don’t have a reason to be limited in such a way, especially when they were used in previous games, so why do it? It’s quite strange.

Additionally the game could use a lot of QoL updates, none of which should be new. It’s essentially a mini-game compilation, and a lot of them are a lot more complicated while only being like 2 tries long, so being able to easily shift between them would be nice. Or at least have clearer explanations as to how to play or what each character does.

That being said, the classic style games are pretty fun, and the events are also pretty good once you get the hang of them so it’s a fun experience worth trying with some friends casually if you’re into that.

Human: Fall Flat [Steam]

So this one’s an old one, but so are a few others on this list so it’s fine. This is one of those games where the controls being wacky and strange with the physics is the draw. Again, normally don’t go for this, and I’m sure I’d get over it very quickly in single player. Multiplayer though? Incredibly fun. Highly recommend this with a couple friends and the steam workshop for some wacky skins for a fun evening.

Tiny Barbarian DX [Steam]

I dunno what possessed me to play this one. It’s another indie retro-styled platformer, and this one specifically seems to be structured like Ghosts and Goblins. It’s pretty difficult, but not overwhelmingly so. That being said I didn’t get very far, so take my experience with the first level with a grain of salt; it looks like it gets pretty tough later in the game.

It’s another indie 2D platformer that doesn’t really do much other than be difficult and have some basic combat mechanics. Not bad, but not really noteworthy there either.

Untitled Goose Game [Switch eShop]

This game stands really hard on its premise, which is completely fine because the premise of living out being an asshole goose is an amazing one and all power to it for doing it. You feel like an asshole goose every step of the way, including when you can pointlessly flap out your wings to look like a bigger asshole, which mechanically does absolutely nothing.

The puzzles are clever, though a few of them take a bit too much waiting or setup for my tastes. It certainly is an enjoyable time, and it doesn’t overstay its welcome being only a couple hours long at most. It does offer speedrunning challenges and secret tasks however, similar in replayability to Journey so that’s going for it as well. God I love Journey.

Anyway, you know about this game already, if you laughed at its premise you’ll like it.

Fighties [Steam]

I didn’t spend very long with this one, but I think I still get it. It’s a Platform fighter with 1-hit-to-kill, each of the MANY characters (very few of which are available at the start) have their own gimmick. It’s like towerfall, but less polished and with a ton more character variety, but since it doesn’t do a great job of explaining it and there’s more complexity in an otherwise simple game. It’s a simple concept, but it’s done way better in games like Towerfall.

New Super Lucky’s Tale [Switch eShop]

All the platformers on this list. So this is from my understanding the best version of this game, the original being a VR game for Xbox. Going into it I knew this was a game that was basically an intro for newer/younger players into 3D collecting platformers, but I was pleasantly surprised by how incredibly polished it is. Everything feels really good to play, and there are a few moments when the gameplay is like “eh, not so sure about that”, the marble levels and auto runners specifically, but everything else is so good I have to say this is an absolutely wonderful experience.

For those who have played 3D platformers before, yeah this game is pretty easy. But it’s never really boring though, something other games have an issue with if they’re too straightforward. Finding the collectibles never really blows you away in challenge, but still feels rewarding, and at the end of the game there’s a whole section similar to Champion’s road that puts everything you’ve learned to the test in some particularly challenging levels, with a really tough collectible to find in each. It’s not groundbreaking, but it’s a very well done platformer in its own right and worth a pickup for those who love that formula, or those who haven’t been exposed to it somehow.

They do try a little hard with the plot at the end though with an avengers style ending and that was a little corny. It’s fine tho.

Pokemon Shield [Switch eShop]

Here it is peeps. The big ol rant. The part where I call this game a gigantic pile of trash.

Like the picture, get it, it’s garbador but really big. because this game is garbag-

So I’ve already ranted for what feels like 9 long essays about this on twitter so I’ll sum up as best as I can here. Or at least shorten it. This game is by far the worst in the franchise, and here are my points:

This game is the shortest in the franchise, ranging at most 21 hours to beat the story, pretty bad for a Pokemon game let alone a JRPG

There are only 10 routes, all of which are linear and there are no “dungeons” like Team rocket hideouts, winding caves with multiple floors and interlocking paths.

The Gym challenge is the whole game. The antagonists whole plotline is introduced and then resolved just before the champion’s fight at the end in under an hour, again with no “dungeon” or build-up

Characters will often times tell you about all the interesting things they’re doing when you’re not around, stuff that in previous games you would be doing, before telling you to go back and just worry about the gym challenge. The most egregious of which is when Leon’s like “WHAT’S THAT COMMOTION OVER THERE!?”, runs off screen <fade to black pointlessly>, you go follow him through the next load zone just off screen, and are presented with a newspaper article of Leon defeating a Dynamaxed pokemon by himself right before where you’re standing and had to walk through anyway. The game is littered with similar moments, from Sonia putting together what happened in the past, to Hop beating you to the end of every route.

Only 3 legends, only 2 of which you can catch and doing so is mandatory

Battle tower is pathetic

Despite being on a cartridge that is MANY TIMES larger on a system that can save data orders of magnitude faster, you still have the same amount of pokemon storage space as previous games. Worse, they made no effort to make the UX of navigating the PC better and searching still doesn’t work like a search should

The wild area feels like an Early Access concept that wasn’t fleshed out properly, There’s nothing to discover other than Pokemon soulessly wandering around at most 20 feet away from you due to draw distance

The UX, and really the whole formula hasn’t changed at all, and fights take obscenely long because GF seems to think they’re developing for a Gameboy game still and animations and each individual line of text need to occur painstakingly slowly one after the other

Gigantamaxing, arguably the most interesting part of the game, is OBSCENELY rare to get specific pokemon for, and is honestly a post-game thing. It took me longer to roll a GMax Hatterene than it did to get 3 shinies. Having no way to G-max the pokemon you already have the adventure with is completely counter to the series’ core

Taking out all the online functionality they’ve had since gen 4 (a gen that had way more content), just to sell it back to you in a phone app that won’t be out for another half a year is a crime. The existing functionality, which requires a subscription already to use and doesn’t even properly work is a pathetic joke when the DS games had this solved first try in 2006 without a subscription

GF still doesn’t know how to make characters behave like humans, doing the classic turn in place, play same animation, talk, turn in place, animation, talk, walk off screen, fade to black because we can’t even unload characters properly thing

The intro to Pokemon cutscene, Hop’s in battle dialog, Piers singing, and many of the cutscenes with Leon all feel like they need to be voice acted. But aren’t, for whatever reason, which feels INCREDIBLY tacky and something I’d expect from a unity indie company

This game has less content overall than the first Pokemon games on the 3DS, and is arguably less polshed than the GBA ones in terms of their actual gameplay

All of this, and it’s clear that it’s a rushed, unfinished 3DS game. Only you get the privilege of paying $60 for it instead of $40, $120 if you want both versions which is a whole nother rabbit hole of “How are they getting away with this crap”

Notice: I didn’t mention Dexit once. That’s because the premise for the backlash is set on only being able to transfer pokemon that are already in the game, but I feel like I need to point out something people seem to miss, surprisingly? ... Pokemon Home isn’t out. It won’t be for 3 more months. Meaning you can’t transfer your Pokemon at all. This game isn’t even feature complete, and given that it’s one of Nintendo’s flagship franchises and isn’t supported by the cloud save feature, which again you need to have a subscription for to play a lot of the main features of this game, is another kick in the face from GF. Pokemon Home, or some sort of Switch-compatible storage system, should’ve been ready when LGPE launched last year and available to NSO subscription owners as a substitute for their inability to save progress. The fact that we have to wait until March to pay for another separate form to store Kilobytes of data on top of the subscription and insane markup on the base game is exploiting the franchise even more.

This is the worst game in the franchise, the most expensive game in the franchise, the most barebones game in the franchise, one of the buggiest games in the franchise, and the game in the franchise that cares the least about your time or previous experiences with it. I would say skip it, but it’s already sold way more than it has any right to, which is why I bought it as well. TPC and GF know this will always sell, so why put in the effort to top themselves with the highest grossing media franchise of all time. The sunk cost fallacy has my over 20 years of collecting hostage, get out while you can.

Halo The Masterchief Collection: Halo Reach [Steam]

This is unfortunately another game that serves as an example as to why I struggle with Multiplayer games. I’m unfortunately so far behind my friends that I consistently land bottom of the board, and there’s only so many times that happens before playing the game jut feels bad for me. That eing said, there’s a lot to like about this game in that aspect so I can’t hold it back because of my own personal struggles.

As for the campaign, it definitely feels like a game from it’s time, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I had fun with it, though i can’t say I’d do it alone or grind it out. It feels rather short, and I guess Reach isn’t a good starter point; just canonically the first in the series. It’s it’s own FPS experience and it’s unique in its own ways, so it’s worth a shot to try it out f you’re unsure where you are. But it’s also Halo, Xbox’s flagship title, so you probably also already know if it’s for you.

Sonic Forces: Speed Battle (Android)

So the mobile games this year aren’t reviewing well, and with my trek back to CA for the holidays I thought I’d give this one a go. It plays a lot like Sonic Dash; you auto-run forward, collect rings and power-ups, however this time there are a large variety of characters with different attacks to choose from. And you’re fighting other players. It’s pretty neat.

Monetization wise, it’s technically gacha, but not intentionally. You get character by getting enough of their “cards” to unlock them, and you get their cards via either random in-game chests which you unlock by playing/waiting (or watching ads), or you can buy packs that just flat out have the cards you need. The only “Gacha” in there is by technicality, you can buy red rings (premium currency) to buy the chests you normally find quicker, but those won’t have special characters usually. I like this model a lot better; If you want to pay money for a special character, you can just buy the character. If you want to play free, you’re not at any disadvantage because limited characters aren’t in a gambling banner, you do quests to get there cards.

That being said, after you play for a couple days it loses most of its charm. There are a lot of characters, but their abilities are near-identical, just with some bonus flair that has more minor effects. After playing 50 30-second ish matches, you get the picture and there’s not a whole lot of strategy left. There’s potential here, and the monetization model is definitely a lot friendlier, but overall it’s a pretty bland experience once you understand the core gameplay.

So when is that chao garden mobile game that ties into new sonic games gonna come ou-

The World Ends With You: Final Remix (Switch)

This is one I’ve been meaning to play for a long, LONG time but was never in the mood to get started on it. I knew it was a JRPG with really quirky plot & mechanics and a cult following, and boy do I need to be in the mood for that in order to actually get through them. They have a huge tendency to offload a crapton at the front and I’m very easily turned off by that, unfortunately.

As I was here, again, unfortunately. I can see why people like it, but I gave it a couple hours, argued with the controls, got frustrated with the puzzles (getting stumped on the puzzle in the screen shot for 20 minutes before backtracking and realizing the game locked the solution I already knew behind an NPC I had already talked to was not great) and decided it was a “try again another day” sorta thing. I did this to Xenoblade Chronicles as well, and now I can’t recommend it enough and automatically buy every game in that franchise, so it’s no dig on this. I don’t have any valid opinion on this yet.

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz HD (Switch)

I don’t think I like Super Monkey Ball everyone! The first 3 worlds were fine, world 4 was starting to show some nonsense, and then world 5 and 6 had me going full “THAT WAS GARBAGE, I WAS ROBBED.” Cobalt Caverns has 2 levels specifically where it’s a straight crapshoot whether it works or not, and given that there are 6 playable characters one of those levels is straight impossible if you pick the wrong one.

I mean it’s fully possible that I “Don’t get it” of course. That the level that flings your character through a course at super speed that you have very little input in, which ejects your ball at random is in fact deterministic and possible with every character. That the course where you cross a winding downhill tightrope that doesn’t have the checkerboard pattern so you can’t see it tilts enough to make light characters fall off every time is in fact really clever.

But I don’t have the patience for it. Granted, I know Monkey ball is an arcadey, high-score experience and not one where you just go through the levels once and have a reasonable expectation of being able to complete them with relative, linear ease. But it just rubbed me the wrong way. I imagine if you know you’ll like Monkey Ball’s replayability, you’ll love this, but if you’re unsure then I’d say it’s not a game for the impatient.

Kero Blaster (Steam)

This is one that I’ve been meaning to pick up for a long, LONG time. Cave Story is probably one of the most important indie games out there, it was a ton of fun, and with recent resurfacing of Nicalis hate for doing Pixel dirty on the rights to the game and its characters, I figured now was a good time to try it. Especially since I liked its demo, Pink Hour, well enough last year.

It’s... Fine, for sure. nothing particularly wrong with it, but nothing really great about it either. I was okay with my time with it, and it felt like cave story. But it lacked a lot of the secrets, unlockables, story, etc. and the shop system really wasn’t as fun a system to replace it. That being said, it’s clearly supposed to be replayed since you unlock the first achievement and a new, harder mode after you beat the final boss, so there’s more there for sure. It’s a short, well-contained experience with some secrets to replay for, but overall nothing truly ground breaking. But you should be getting this to support Pixel rather than buying another version of Cave Story he won’t even get money for. And then Play Cave Story right now as well anyway, because Pixel still has it up on his site available for free.

Brawler 64 (N64 Controller)

So I know it’s not a controller, but all my N64 controllers are trashed and I needed it to actually play some games so I’m just gonna review them here. These controllers are nice. I’ve always wondered why it was so difficult to find really good N64 replacement controllers that were designed sensibly so a human with two hands could actually use it. And that’s what this is! pretty neat.

Aesthetically they nailed the look; mix of grey and then the classic N64 colored see-through plastic, which is a controller look I miss but I understand not wanting to show internals now that they have moving parts. Buttons all are sensibly placed and it feels comfortable to hold. Only two gripes I have with the controller:

1. It feels really light, and a a result the handles feel a bit cheap. I feel like a hard enough grip could crack it, though I’m not sure that’s the case and I’d have no reason to grip that hard anyway

2. the trigger buttons (Z-button replacement) is analog despite being a digital input on the original controller. This makes no sense; I love a good analog shoulder button, but since the Z-Button is only digital, it would be way more satisfying and responsive to just have it clearly click to indicate the button’s being pressed.

Despite that, these controllers fix the main gripes with the original N64 controller and will probably last me a very, very long time. I’d recommend them as a good replacement

Pummel Party (Steam)

So this is a very “violent” but property generic version of Mario Party available on Steam, up to 8 players and compatible with online. Honestly, I only played one game but it’s pretty fun! I’m not sure how it evolves as you learn more mechanics; Mario Party can vary wildly in how that happens with sometimes it being a good thing to know the advanced mechanics and sometimes it revealing the flaws underneath and making it unfun past the first couple games, or with people who don’t.

But this was fun. Lots of weird items, they clearly tried to do something differently and balance out some stuff with the death mechanics. Some of the controls for the minigames are ehhhhh (should devote to encouraging a keyboard and mouse OR controller, rather than middling between them) and we saw a few repeats in a 25 turn game which was surprising, but we may have been unlucky. Definitely pick it up with some friends if you had a need for Online Mario Party

Gato Roboto (Steam)

God this game is adorable. It’s a super fun, condensed Metroidvania adventure that’ll run you under 3 hours, but it’s well made and look great, even with its 2-tone color scheme everything looks clear and pretty. Sound effects are great too.

The experience itself isn’t particularly ground breaking, but it wasn’t trying to be so that’s fine. I managed to find all the pick-ups, and not once was I like “Oh god, it’s a miracle I found that” or “I never would’ve guess this did that.” Everything was clear, it was crisp, and it was fun. Plus it’s got nice support for speedrunning; I was almost tempted but that’d be a fun reason to stream and I can’t have fun so that’s off the table. I highly recommend it; it’s just a short but seat and well-made Metroid game and sometimes that’s hard to come by without other new mechanics getting in the way.

Momodora III (Steam)

Got this one in just under the wire (hours before 2020). There’s a lot of small indie platformers on this list too.

So if you’ve played the much more, erm, advertised sequel, this game is a lot less metroidy and a lot more linear. You can go back and discovere secrets, but there’s not a lot (as far as I can tell), and it gets pretty tough in places. Even still though, I got 87.5% in under an hour and 5 minutes and beat the final boss (there’s seemingly a secret one tho).

So gameplay wise it’s fun, it’s pretty solid, and it has a few moments where you’re just like “Oh, that enemy throws instant death bombs, so uh, don’t die.” Overall though a quality experience, a lot of replayability if you love the first playthrough as well.

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Best Game I played in 2019: Ittle Dew 2

This one was a bit tough here, so I’mma have an honorable mention section that’s basically equivalent. But this game takes the Zelda formula and polishes it while still being quirky and its own thing, then takes it WAY further with all the secrets, bonuses, power-ups, and dear got the nightmares you find. If you’ve ever enjoyed any Zelda game, ittle Dew 2 is a must-play for you as far as I’m concerned.

Best Game that Actually Came out in 2019: Luigi’s Mansion 3

This one’s easy. Next Level Games put so much polish and charm into the franchise while putting a lot of wit and depth into each room on the hotel. It’s not without flaws, but it more than makes up for them by being it’s own thing while building off both the previous two Games

Honorable Mentions: Dragon Quest Builder’s 2 & Spyro Reignited Trilogy

For just being like, great goddam games. Seriously; DQB2 kinda blows minecraft out of the water if only it had less town limitations and multiplayer server support. And Spyro aged pretty well with this trilogy, so I can’t not love it being a 3D platformer collectathon enthusiast.

Honorable Mentions That Are Quick but Great Experiences You Should Play: Gizmo, Minit, & Gato Roboto

I find I like short, simple experiences a lot more these days. These are that; well-made games that are far from overstaying there welcome definitely worth a go if you have a few bucks (or free I guess since Gizmo is a free unrealized demo) and an hour or two you just want to enjoy.

Also, Bomber Bother’s just really funny and free and spawned from a great cause so like why not.

...

And that’s all! One day I’ll actually like make a good game, or do something interesting, or leave Texas! Or any number of things other than typing out my opinion online that nobody even asked for for that sick dopamine rush.

mmmmm

C ya!

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