#drawing! but because of my mood i didn't have any concept so i just ''drew anything'' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

madfantasy · 3 years

Text

Dear blogging

It's been awhile ~~ hope you're doing well ma dears☆

Mani is great, I feel wonderful, I am mentally at ballance, and it is a rarity tbh. I hate to say that it was because of guardians being tired lately, so it was quiet and minimal fights going on.

Before that, I was practically near exploding at everything and just wanted to drop it all.. I was so tired yet desperate to get one thing, for months; I needed to get dumb-bells, only to have spent its value on fam and net.

So this July was supposed to me just disappearing and adjusting to one hour net every couple of days to upload anything I drew and all, so I can get my frking dumb-bells. I'm so thankful to F I'm still here, and the precious hearts. I was ready, had my audio books downloaded, said possible bye on twitter and made sibs do the same with their games and everything. It took one day offline to force face smash the reminder why it was always 100% hell off it, ngl. I couldn't even think, guardians had no more distraction to keep them unfocused on us, I even couldn't save or move around my drawing files because it all relied on the Internet.

I'm so thankful I'm still here, I got to sleep for a week AND get my dumb-bells— look!!

Yes, Arms are killing me rn, even tho I thought yes I'll just start on the minium scale :'

It was tricky getting the protein tho, I got the cheapest one I could find and got myself shoes to disguise the purchase with. Cuz they didn't want to let me. As luck would have it I found a cheap pair that looked like TINTINS shoes, I was thrilled tbh, so my plan was when it gets here I can act as if the big box was just for the shoes and what not, idk, it was stressful and you can never know with those shipping people.

And it sorta worked! I got the protein powder undetected! I love those shoes omg x'

Immediately I took a scoop, as if I never ever made anything kitchen worthy in my life or knew how prepare anything, I didn't even check the expiry date. I just popped it open, the first thing I thought I could just eat it to save up on the mess so you can imagine me coughing brown dust on my chest (I got chocolate flavour) and getting my mouth glued by the paste that formed in my mouth. It was fun, hehe

I took 1 scoop a day, been 2 days and thankfully my tummy didn't act weird afterwards, hope it stays this way.

The purpose here is I want to get physically stronger, strong that I can carry my sib with one hand! And someday maybe pursue my wrestling dream..

More importantly, it's now come to me as a way to show my guardians that I am reliable and able to do it all. This concept is the only solution i can think of, to having any sort of progress with my guardians and my sibs in peaceful endearing manner. And having hope again revives me..

I'm so motivated and drawing away. I'm so proud that in this 10 days period I literally made so many animated gifs because I was in such a good mood, and ya know to me they r such a grave pain to make. I'm even recording my voice more frequently on tiktok and feeling it's building confidence

I'm want to work on longer versions projects and such, and try to provide before the month end and I need to pay for net again.

I don't know how to balance between doing commissions and doing projects, as, like that 15 sec long tintin vid, took me 14 days scattered between 2 months, I drew every tiny frame in between my breaks heh. I'll find a way, somehow.. I don't want to keep rambling on

Just—

I'm a calm Mani, and I'm content 🍀

Bless your days with joy and love, fortune and flourishing, ease of mind, body and soul 💛💛

10 pm, 10.7.2021

#text #my art #oc #personal #drawing diary

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