#don’t fucking spring him on lesbians that’s fucking nasty
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She was so nice about rejecting them. I would have gotten blocked 😐
#like that’s so fucking gross dude#fucking disgusting keep your moid in a cage until he starved to death#don’t fucking spring him on lesbians that’s fucking nasty
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Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks
This movie has a real all-star cast as far as us MSTies are concerned. There’s Rossano Brazzi, who was Phineas Prune in The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t; Edmund Purdom, whom we know as Griba from Ator, the Fighting Eagle; and Salvatore Baccaro, the leader of the cavemen in Starcrash. The film itself is absolute, irredeemable trash and I love it like my own garbage child.
We begin out of nowhere with a bunch of peasants beating a caveman to death. What? Where are we? When are we? Who are these people? Why is one of them a cavemen wearing a fur loincloth and the rest are just normal people in pants? Why are they beating him? Did he do something that pissed them off, or do they just hate him because they’re, like, anti-Neanderthal racists? What the fuck is going on? We will never really find out. We just cut straight to Dr. Frankenstein hauling the troglocorpse into his lab.
That’s how this movie rolls. Don’t bother asking questions, just try to keep up.
Count Frankenstein’s daughter Maria has returned to her childhood home, bringing along her fiancé Eric and her friend Krista, who has an unhealthy relationship with polka-dots. Krista is immediately fascinated by the Count and his work, and he with her in turn. It doesn’t take long for Krista to find out that Frankenstein is carrying on reanimation experiments in his basement, but that’s actually the least of the bullshit going on around here. There are more cavemen out there, but there’re also rivalries and love triangles among the inevitable gaggle of deformed assistants, and the local villagers are angry about a spate of grave robbing and determined to run the Frankensteins out of town. The ‘monster’ (I’m not sure it quite counts) is kind of an afterthought.
See, Hans the Butler hates Genz the Dwarf (even though it’s actually Kregan the hunchback who is fucking Hans’ wife) so he gets him fired, and Genz swears revenge on the whole Frankenstein household. Wandering in the woods, Genz meets and befriends a second caveman, naming him ‘Ook’ and teaching him how to rape women in the hopes that he will do violence to Maria Frankenstein. Ook, however, kidnaps Krista instead. At about the same time, Genz sneaks back into Castle Frankenstein to free the first caveman, Goliath, whom the Count has been keeping strapped to a table after bringing him back to life, and who has also fallen in love with Krista as the latter assists the Count with his work. Goliath goes on a murderous rampage, then follows Genz back to the cave where Ook is keeping Krista. Sure enough, this leads to a caveman-vs-caveman battle for the girl!
Man, I would love to see earlier drafts of this script, mostly because I’m dying to know whether some prior incarnation of it actually had anything to do with Mary Shelley’s book or even with previous Frankenstein movies. I mean, it starts with the servants digging up a corpse, and ends with a torch-and-pitchfork mob destroying the Count’s creation… the beginning and end of a Frankenstein movie are present. In between those, however, it wanders off on this bizarre tangent about the local cryptids. As it reached the screen, the only thing Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks seems to have in common with its source material is the threat to the Count’s girlfriend, which was issued by the Creature in the original story. Technically, even the grave robbing and re-animating have nothing to do with Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus – the book never actually says how the Creature’s body was created. The idea of piecing it together from corpses originates with the Boris Karloff movie.
Let me describe some more of the stuff that goes on here, in order to give you the flavour of the experience. For starters, Salvatore Baccaro, playing Ook the caveman, is credited as ‘Boris Lugosi’ in the opening credits. The first time I saw this movie I snorted water up my nose when that popped on screen.
Later in the movie there’s a flashback to that first peasants-vs-caveman scene, and it answers none of the questions I listed above. Why are there cavemen in these woods? I dunno, there just are. What did the cavemen do to piss off the locals? I don’t know that, either… they may have been stealing livestock, I guess, but they don’t seem to have been a threat to the people until Genz taught them about rape. Kind of makes one wonder what happened to the cavewomen, since we never meet one and these guys don’t seem to know what women are, as illustrated by Ook initially thinking their nubile young captive is going to be dinner. Also, although there are two cavemen, they don’t know each other. Genz has to introduce them!
There’s a bit where Genz is hiding behind a clock to watch Maria and Eric have sex. The butler comes along and chews him out for it, sends him to his room, and then he stands there and watches them for a while.
In another scene, Maria and Krista go skinny-dipping in a mineral spring, and the longer it goes on the more the dialogue sounds like it’s going to break into lesbian porn. I am particularly fond of the exchange where Maria says, “don’t worry, this dress is designed to be easy to get out of,” and Krista, impressed, replies, “I’ll say it is!”
The subplot in which the butler’s wife is having an affair with the hunchback has no effect on the plot whatsoever. The butler never even finds out about it. There’s a scene in which they run off to the barn to slap each other and smooch, and then the movie forgets about it. Astonishingly, the same is true of the corpse the servants dig up early on. They exhume the body of a recently dead woman, Genz cops a feel and leaves some footprints at the scene so that the villagers can figure out who was responsible, and… that’s it. She doesn’t even hang around as a gratuitous zombie like the grave-robbed girl in The Atomic Brain.
According to Wikipedia, nobody will admit to directing this movie. Like many Italian films, the director used a pseudonym, and the cast apparently disagree on even such basics as his nationality. Some of them think he was Spanish, but Simonetta Vitelli, who played Maria Frankenstein, insists he was an American.
At the end of the movie, Ook is the first of the cavemen to be killed, and we get to see Genz weeping over his friend’s dead body. Then he and Krista hold each other as the mob closes in on Goliath. This is supposed to be a tender moment but it looks a lot like Genz (who is, you must remember, around four feet tall) is enjoying his faceful of boobs. Since all alternative love interests for Krista are now dead, maybe we’re supposed to think she ended up marrying Genz.
Finally, as Goliath’s body burns, Edmund Perdom intones, “there’s a bit of the monster in all of us, especially where there’s fear.” I’ll drink to that, my dude. ‘Twas beauty killed the beast. He tampered in God’s domain.
That probably is supposed to be the movie’s point. The villagers are depicted as suspicious, fearful, and quick to violence, while the cavemen seem to have been relatively peaceful types until Genz taught them how to rape. It’s very much the Homo sapiens who are the monsters there. Frankenstein’s servants are all assorted shades of horrible, from Genz the necrophile to the nasty cackling butler to the adulterous hunchback and cook. Count Frankenstein himself isn’t quite so overtly evil but it’s clear that he’s not very interested in the moral dimension of his work.
Even if that’s an intentional theme rather than just a pithy closing line, I don’t think anybody thought about it very hard. The rest of Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks is too much of a mess. There’s no real plot, no identifiable protagonist, it’s sleazy and incoherent and at times it’s horrifyingly abelist… and yet, for reasons I cannot explain, it’s weirdly entertaining.
Maybe it’s just that everything in the film is so damn ridiculous. So much of what happens comes out of nothing and goes right back into it… a series of mind-boggling what the fuck moments that surprise the viewer over and over. The impression is that the writers are throwing horror concepts at the screen to see what sticks, but nothing does.
Maybe it’s that this is another villain-centric piece. You know I like those. I guess maybe Krista is the heroine? She seems to do the fewest horrible things over the course of the story, but she’s not a good person, either. She’s totally into the Count’s creepy reanimation experiments, and makes only a token protest about the idea of informed consent. Edmund Perdom’s Inspector character is one you’d expect to try and do something about these goings on, but he never does. Maria and Eric are only in the movie so it can have a sex scene.
Whatever the reason, the result is inexplicably charming. Between the easily distracted plot, the gratuitous breasts, the bad dubbing, the complete failure to either frighten or titillate, and the fact that it tries to tie itself to a lucrative franchise it really has nothing to do with, Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks is almost the perfect example of a bad Italian horror flick from the 70’s.
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I’ve stayed quiet about this for too long now, and today I finally reached my limit.
If you interact with ifhollicould / heedingcalls / Summer, block me. I don’t want to see her, ever. She was, unfortunately, somebody I spent a year and a half of my time with (from spring 2016 to winter 2017, to be exact). During much of that time I knew something was wrong with our relationship, but kept convincing myself otherwise. I kept convincing myself that maybe I was overreacting to things - that maybe I was being unfair and selfish, for having needs that didn’t coincide with hers, or cater to hers - but that wasn’t the case at all. And if I knew then what I know now, I would’ve taken more screencaps to help document what I’m about to describe. I never would have gotten involved with her in the first place.
Trigger warning for misogyny, homophobia, lesbophobia & transphobia.
Shit Summer pulled during the time that I knew her includes:
Sending a friend of mine - a friend who happens to be a gay man, someone with no interest in women whatsoever - an unsolicited picture of her half-naked body in November of 2017.
Sending me text messages every day for a whole month (December 2017) after I asked her for some space after a family member died, clearly desperate for a response even though I’d already given her a valid reason as to why I wasn’t talking.
Sending me passive-aggressive texts whenever she saw me posting on the dash but not speaking to her, during the time period mentioned above.
Chasing me down after cutting ties with her last year, getting on anon and guilt-tripping me about the fact I left. Here’s the evidence.
Treating female characters like toys or sex objects (seriously, look at her blogs where she writes women - really look at the way she portrays them in her writing, how she goes out of her way to describe how ~dainty and delicate~ they are), or projecting herself onto her own female characters in order to act out the lustful feelings she has towards others’ muses, particularly of the male variety. I can’t tell you how many times she did that to me, which is a big part of the reason why I left a lot of my blogs from 2016 and 2017. Too many bad memories that literally ruined old muses of mine for me (or at least, writing them on this platform).
Ignoring my own female characters, because paying attention to them meant she had to take a break from wanking to the male characters (and our very few m/m ships!) for five minutes.
Having a very superficial interest in female characters and f/f ships. Happily gushing about het ships and fetishizing m/m ships, but losing interest in the subject the minute that lesbian couples entered the equation.
The very few times we did discuss f/f stuff, she described the characters involved as “sapphic babies”, effectively infantilizing them. (She also was uninterested in giving them complex storylines, on that note. Interesting.) M/M ships were “gay babies”, which is just as infantilizing and gross.
According to her logic, women are “the fairer sex” - a term that sure crops up a lot on her blogs! Okay, so…you’re implying that all women have vaginas, Summer? That having a vagina is inherently tied to being a woman? Sex and gender are not interchangeable terms.
The term “fairer sex” is also nasty because it inherently assumes that all women are these weak, feminized creatures, separate from men, less strong and less capable and less rugged and always “fairer” than them. Really interesting statement from somebody who preaches about what a feminist she is.
Which I guess would explain why she took such an issue with my character Ginger, whose behaviour did not line up with Summer’s views on what is traditionally feminine (she even called Ginger “butch” at one point, despite having no idea what that word actually means), but I digress. She’d also frequently reduce Ginger to her sexual orientation. At the time, I wrote Ginger as bisexual, so I guess Summer saw Ginger as “the aggressive girl who fucks other girls��.
As for the more personal shit involving why I cut ties with her!
A lot of it involved her possessive and territorial behaviour towards me, particularly towards the end of our friendship (which is exactly why I left). This started around the time I made Murdoc’s blog, became really active on him, began branching out and befriending other roleplayers, or reconnecting with friends I’d lost touch with. Prior to this incident, Summer and I spoke to each other on a daily basis; it was only towards the end that I began to feel very smothered by her presence. I felt as if I couldn’t go a moment without Summer wanting to know where I was and what I was doing. Summer constantly reminded me that she loved me and valued me as a friend - which I now recognize as a manipulation tactic to keep me by her side, and to make me feel guilty for having other relationships outside of her.
Which is really funny, because I tried on many occasions to get her involved with other peers of mine during the time that I knew her (so she wouldn’t feel left out), only for Summer to constantly decline, claiming those peers of mine were “better” than her and that she “wasn’t good enough to talk to them”. At the time, I thought that maybe it was her social anxiety. Now, looking back, it reads as yet another tactic of manipulation - a way of keeping me around her.
Summer would also frequently take her bad moods out on me, becoming hysterical over text messages and refusing to listen to reason and refusing to find constructive ways to work through her problems. I would frequently try to assure her that everything was going to be okay, only for Summer to brush me off. Those conversations usually went something like this:
Summer: This is making me upset.
Me: Have you thought about doing A, B, or C?
Summer: I’m going to go mope now.
It didn’t make me feel very good, and often made me feel like I was failing her as a friend. By the end of those conversations, I’d usually feel as drained, and my mood would be as miserable as hers was.
I often felt as if Summer domineered our conversations and the things we wrote about together. In all fairness, I have a very passive personality, and have a tendency to let others lead conversations. I don’t usually give input unless explicitly asked, or if I’m absolutely certain that my input won’t be ignored. I also have a history with allowing people to take their anger and grief out on me. This is something I’ve been actively been trying to work on. I do not want to put all the blame on Summer for all of that, but a large part of me still feels as if the very nature of my personality was preyed upon, and that Summer was manipulating me into doing what she wanted - both in and out of character.
Again, I wish I had more of the aforementioned evidence with me on hand, but I promise you. Go through Summer’s blogs and take a look for yourself. She hasn’t changed. A lot of what I’ve mentioned is still going on, and will continue to go on if someone doesn’t speak up against her.
This post is not an invitation to send hate to Summer, but to inform people of her past and ongoing behaviour so those who may be potentially affected can do what they need to in order to avoid her (blacklisting, unfollowing, blocking, etc). Ignore or disagree with me if you want - I’m merely giving my side of the story and sharing my experiences involving her, and trying to protect those who are at risk of being hurt.
#⇩ ▬ sᴜɴsʜɪɴᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ʙᴀɢ ( ooc. )#long post /#negative /#drama /#callout /#namedrop /#homophobia /#transphobia /#lesbophobia /#misogyny /#anyways.#if you feel the need to unfollow or block me after this; that's fine#i mean it when i say i never want to see her on my dash ever again
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Stolen Memes
I’m tired and avoiding writing my 2 // 8 page essays due Monday : )
name: Vallah
nickname/s : Val, Enzo, Lorenzo (man if u remember these names u the real MVP), Kimi, Kris (JDSANADSFHSAD I GET CALLED MY MUSES A LOT : ( ))
height: 5′2″
nationality : Dumbass
favorite fruit : Mango and Pineapple
favorite season : Spring
favorite scents : Mint
favorite animals : WEINER DOGSSSSS !!!! Pls look at my bby girl Mawlie,,, I also love Axlotls tho
tea, coffee, hot cocoa : Coffee,,,, but I really need to lay off the shit
average hours of sleep : 4-6
when my blog was created : December of 2018,,, but Kris has been a muse and had blogs dating back to 2015
random fact : I’m so fucking dumb like mental computing space is fucking shot I need a new brain
favorite food : Don’t really have one
favorite t.v. shows : I’m not currently into anything but I’m excited for Owl House, Amphibia, and Infinity Train coming out this year
favorite movie : Scott Pilgrim VS The World, Corpse Bride, Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse,
favorite vine : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egSLw42ynbo
sexuality: Lesbian,,,, i love my gf more than anything in this world : )
pronouns: they/them, closer ppl can call me she/her or he/him tho :)
favorite book series : I don’t have a favorite book series bc most series aren’t that great : ( but I really love
favorite video game/s : SSBU, Splatoon 2, League of Legends, Stardew Valley, Pokemon,
favorite band/s : I don’t know how but they found me, studio killers, Pinnochio-P, Kikuo, Neru
favorite subject : Music !! It really should be my major instead of psychology but like idk how to make a living off being naturally good at drums
guys or girls : GORL !!!! I love girls okay,,,,, guys r kinda nasty sorry
last time I cried : Yesterday I was having a mental breakdown and telling my gf how much I loved them whilst crying
what I should be doing : working on my essays and studying and sleeping
favorite fandoms : fandoms suck but like smaller fandoms for webcomics r p nice
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1-97 ;^)
i hate that i did this
1. What’s your middle name?
porterfield it’s my moms last name
2. What are you listening to right now?
“the thrill of first love” from falsettos lmao
3. What was the last thing you ate?
a banana
4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
my mom
5. Do you drink?
not a lot
6. Do you smoke?
nope
7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone?
if they’re friendly
8. What is your hair color?
brown
9. What is your eye color?
blue
10. Do you wear contacts/glasses?
nope
11. Dogs or cats?
both i legitimately can’t choose
12. What’s your favorite animal?
whales !
13. What’s your favorite television show?
breaking bad
14. What’s your favorite movie?
titanic or love actually
15. What’s your favorite band/singer?
1d :/ also ed sheeran, hayley, fob
16. How old are you?
16
17. Do you have a crush on anyone?
ye i’m dating them :’)
18. What’s your sexual orientation?
lesbiannnn
19. What’s your favorite color?
pink
20. What was your most embarrassing moment?
uh last week i tried to order coffee and the guy said “how’s your day” and i heard “what are you studying” and i was like im still in high school skjfhdjkghdfgf thats my most recent one
21. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
do i ever not
22. What were you like when you were a kid?
probably rlly annoying and full of myself
23. What would your dream house be like?
a big apartment in the penthouse of a building in columbus circle with a big window overlooking central park
24. What last made you laugh?
my sister making fun of katy perry 10 minutes ago
25. What is your favorite word?
idk lmao
26. What is your least favorite word?
qu**r
27. What turns you on?
neck kissing, s*xting, :’)
28. What turns you off?
weird shit like foot fetishes
29. What is your star sign?
pisces
30. What are your favorite books?
tana french’s books, harry potter, milk and honey
31. Do you have any siblings?
2 lil sisters !
32. Do you like to dance?
nah
33. What is your definition of cheating?
going behind your s/os back and breaking the trust they have with you
34. Have you ever cheated on someone?
nope
35. Do you regret anything?
yep
36. Do you have any phobias?
rats
37. Ever broken any bones?
nah
38. Ever come close to death?
not rlly
39. What is your religion, if any?
atheist
40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?
yep both lmao
41. Are looks important in a relationship?
?? idk it depends on who you are lmao
42. Are you more like your mom or your dad?
my dad definitely lmao
43. What is your favorite season?
spring !
44. Do you have any tattoos?
not yet :/
45. Do you have any piercings?
nose, ears
46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
one official gf
47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
quinn fabray was my lesbian awakening
48. Who is your celebrity crush?
hayley kiyoko and ben platt
49. Are you a virgin?
nope
50. Do you get jealous easily?
yes lmao
51. What is your favorite type of food?
mexican food !
52. Do you ever want to get married?
heck yea
53. Who was your first kiss with?
alexis my gf
54. Have you ever been cheated on?
nope
55. What is your idea of the perfect date?
um honestly my absolute favorite types of dates are when we just go out and we don’t have like a set plan we just kinda find our way i think if you love the person it doesn’t matter what you’re doing bc it’s fun to j be with them
56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
it depends
57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets?
yea also i just saw alien covenant and i’m fucked up lmao
58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?
one of those ppl who can sing effortlessly
59. What is your saddest memory?
my grandma dying
60. Do you believe in love at first sight?
not exactly but i believe in attraction for sure
61. Do you believe in soul mates?
yeahhhhh
62. Have you ever dyed your hair?
no lol
63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
dbshjkagfdbkgf yes
64. Would you go against your moral code for money?
it depends on how much and what moral codes
65. What are three things most people don’t know about you?
i have anxiety and take zoloft, i rlly love theater and would like to potentially have a career in it, i lost my virginity in the back of a car :”))
66. Who are you jealous of?
rich people and people who are out of high school
67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?
yes a giant pug named pugsley and alexis’s stuffed bunny
68. How long was your longest relationship?
almost 10 months n counting !
69. Is the glass half empty or half full?
half empty and draining
70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
literally everything alexis does is so hot kjsahfkjdsgfd
71. Who is your most loyal friend?
idk i have a lot of good friends
72. Are you in a relationship?
yea
73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
she always makes me smile no matter what and i feel so safe and comfortable wiht her
74. Are you a bad person?
probably
75. Are you a lover or a fighter?
lover !
76. What did you do on your last birthday?
went to dinner with my family ha
77. What is your favorite quote and why?
umm i dont really have one
78. If your best friend died, what would you do?
honestly that might destroy me
79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
this dumbass thing i did the summer before high school
80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?
go visit my gf and cuddle and h*ve s*x with her
81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had?
recently i had a dream where i had to be in deh and i kept stopping the show bc i didn’t know the lines and it was bizarre
82. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
in my current relationship
83. Who were you in a past life?
i dont believe in that fam
84. What is your happiest childhood memory?
85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
unrequited infatuation for sure
86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend?
no
87. If you were the president, what would you do?
undo all this dumb shit trump did, affordable health care and college tuition, lax border laws
88. What is your ideal career?
actress but highly unrealistic ik
89. What is your political affiliation?
dem
90. Are you conservative or liberal?
liberal
91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?
i’m into female bodies but i don’t wanna make ppl feel bad about their bodies so neither
92. Do you like kissing in public?
yea man
93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change?
stop global warming
94. Where would you like to live?
back in ny
95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?
paris even tho i’ve been
96. Describe yourself in one word.
indecisive
97. Describe yourself in one sentence.
she’s gay and annoying
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