#doesn’t matter how long it takes
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*Skitters up to you on all fours and drops this in your lap, then scrambles up the walls and onto the ceiling and immediately falls asleep*
Comic time! Lucky wakes up in the middle of the night and has a chat with Sen in this one.
#ah yes. the struggle of seeing yourself as a machine incapable of truly having an emotional connection with others#no matter how deeply you long for such things#whilst simultaneously seeing that deep longing within you as a mistake. a flaw. an imperfection#you were made to be absolute and impartial#to be biased in favor of your charges beyond that which your ‘programming’ dictates is shameful#you are broken. you are flawed. you want and you want and you want and you’ve never stopped /wanting./#you aren’t supposed to worry or care or love. you weren’t made for it.#and if you were not made for it then you simply cannot worry or care or love.#these /things/ that haunt you and make you inefficient are not emotions.#they are your imperfections; flaws in your make; symbols of your failures to live up to your purpose#you are broken. you are flawed. and you want so deeply that you can scarcely keep the longing inside you#such a failure you are; to not only survive the fall of the metropolis you were built to give your life to defend#but also to stoop to and revel in such indulgent imperfections as these false emotions the moment your makers are gone to dust#Fun Fact! Sen doesn’t require sleep#and spends every evening standing outside of Sharpedo Bluff / whatever campsite the gang have set up to guard the entrance.#she doesn't stay inside at night because it wasn't something done in the metropolis she hails from.#sentries are meant to watch over their charges. they are not meant to indulge in the pleasant and dry warmth of their homes.#Kip hears about this eventually (he thought it was just Sen not trusting people enough to sleep around them) and FLIPS OUT#“PLEASE would you come inside IT'S LITERALLY HAILING”#Sen is taking so much hail damage and has the gall to look at him and say “You should return to your home. the weather is unfavorable”#Kip just screams into his hands because he might have found someone even worse at self-care than Twig#And with that#it is beddy-bye time for Sofie :)#the present is a gift au#pmd oc#pmd ocs#pokemon mystery dungeon#pokémon mystery dungeon#pmd explorers#pmd eos
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You said in your Dr. Scraptrap AU that his first living creation was Plushtrap- are Plushtrap and Dr. Scraptrap still in animatronic suits? Or are they instead more-so organic?
Also, what is Dr. Scraptrap's backstory? Is it the same as William's, or is he a completely different person than the original?
Apologies if these things were already established and I missed them!
Okay, so, they are just animatronic suits. They aren’t regular rabbits or anything—and that goes for most other animatronics that appear, such as Spring Bonnie.
They’re animatronics... but are at least a little different? Imagine Spring Bonnie. They’d actually be pretty fluffy/soft, and would happen to have actual rabbit tendencies—but is still an animatronic, etc.
The same goes for Dr. Scraptrap and, again, most of the others. Minus Scrap Baby (who is something that he’s making), when it comes to the more human animatronics—Ballora, for example, they’d actually be human.
Plushtrap is mostly like an actual living animatronic that Dr. Scraptrap actually happened to make—following the same rules. Though, there are parts of them that are just more of actual... plush and similar things.
I was rambling a bit with that one—I’ll move on. Point is: Not real animal that they’re based on, still animatronics—except for the more human ones.
The next bit—Dr. Scraptrap’s whole thing is just sort of similar to regular William’s, but there’s still several differences here and then, considering the AU.
He still worked with Henry—who is still just a human here in the AU. Except, while in canon, the two of them did the whole pizzeria thing, here, they worked together on something completely different.
By the time he actually met Henry, Dr. Scraptrap had already been doing a bunch of stuff for about 30 years at that point.
He and Henry worked together for about five years—during the fourth year, he still did kill Charlie, as well as Cassidy (though the others are still alive). Henry only discovered that it was Scraptrap who did it in the fifth year.
Dr. Scraptrap has always been an animatronic here. He was never a human, so there’s no remains in him—he was never really William here. He’s just Scraptrap.
Though, he still uses the name Afton for a couple of purposes every now and then.
And, before the present time of the AU, there’s still three more major events that I want to mention—even if I’ve done it before.
Ten Years Prior: Spring Bonnie becomes his assistant—although reluctantly. Spring Bonnie happened to be a very good scientist, and that was why he wanted them.
Three Years Prior: Finally created his very first living creation—Plushtrap.
Four Months Prior: Went and adopted Elizabeth (she’s still human).
Another bit that I mentioned, but he does care for Plushtrap and Elizabeth. He loves his kids :)
I think that’s all I have to say for the questions for now—this was really long, sorry. But there was a lot that I wanted to say. Hope this helps!
#Balloonboyismyson#Asks#Mad Scientist/Dr. Scraptrap AU#Everyone’s free to send in asks for anything—no matter how long#FNaF AU#Save tag#Had to put it under a read more so that it wouldn’t take up too much#Dr. Scraptrap#There’s obviously still some similar bits between both versions#Both things that I *have* already mentioned—and things that I just still haven’t yet#Also no need to worry—you can ask if there’s ever something you’re wondering#I didn’t mention most of the stuff that much anyway#Not a quote#Side note: While he does have Plushtrap & Elizabeth—Michael and Evan aren’t around in the AU#He just doesn’t have them#I don’t have plans for either of them
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I figured it out
Tom Holland's Peter Parker (No hate to Mr Holland though) has NO SASS
That's the issue, he's not a smartass or a smart idiot. He is just,,,, adorkable
oh man. disney kind of has a real compulsive problem with making everything adorkable . thats kind of their thing. like every Disney princess to get a movie in the past decade . do they have a unique personality to their own? absolutely not at all. are they adorkable? oh you bet. they are SO inoffensive and they’re gonna sell SO many toys. just like spider-man. they disney-princess-ified him. they did the disney princess thing to him. I think you could swap him with anna, or rapunzel, or moana and you probably wouldn’t even notice the difference, narratively, because they would all act the same and do the same thing. and be adorkable while doing it.
#sci speaks#that’s kind of the problem with having a passive protag who is dragged around by the narrative#it kind of doesn’t matter if they have a personality. they’ll do what the plot demands of them.#tom holland Spider-Man has never done anything wrong ever I guess#which is why I’m so mad they waited 3 movies to give him character flaws. disney you’re insane for that.#it took you 3 movies ??? to give him any semblance of a personality??#is that just how long it takes for you to Warm Up??#like you’re heating up the worlds slowest cup of tea???????????
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Batman has/had some kind of miscommunication going on with every single one of his kids. The bat family is just one big miscommunication trope after the other.
#him and Dick have miscommunication about how they see each other. Bruce sees Dick as a son and Dick sees Bruce as a father#but they didn’t think the other saw them that way so they never told each other. that’s what led to their fights in Dick’s later teenage#years and dick quitting and becoming nightwing. he thought Bruce only saw him as a ward/robin so he thought that as long as he couldn’t be#robin Bruce wouldn’t want him#and if didn’t help when Bruce stopped talking to him when he left. though to Bruce it was because he thought Dick didn’t want to talk to him#and also Dick really needs to tell Bruce like ‘hey you put me on a higher pedestal then you put even yourself which is saying something and#and I don’t like that cuz that’s too much pressure for me. and also since you did it everyone else does it and has done it since I was Robin#and it’s literally just a matter of time before I break from the pressure cuz I’m not fucking Superman and I can’t take it’#and Jason with the whole UTRH thing. you know all Bruce had to say was that he had tried killing the joker over Jason multiple times and#maybe just explain to Jason WHY he doesn’t kill. a simple ‘you’re better than me because if I killed one person I’d kill everyone’#or it could even just be a simple ‘I do love you Jason youre the kid that I felt most comfortable loving’#and also maybe a ‘I don’t think anything changed after my death and that makes my death meaningless which I think goes against your no kill#rule because I hat is the rule of not a reminder taht death means something. and by that logic my death already went against the rule so why#can’t you do it again for the man that murdered me.’ and Bruce needs to make a presentation: ‘all the ways Jason’s death meant something’#and Tim just needs a simple ‘I don’t see you as work I see you as family.’ maybe even a ‘you don’t have to be the grown up in this relati#anymore I’m sorry you were one to begin with. you should’ve always been the child’#now his miscommunication with Damian goes much deeper but I’m one hundred percent sure if they sit down and air out all of their feelings it#would help a lot but I have a feeling that won’t happen#a ‘I have trouble understanding you because both your trauma and compassion run deeper than mine and I also never had to grow up to be a#weapon’ from Bruce and a ‘I don’t understand your optimism and moral stubbornness and easness why is it so easy to be good for u?’#his miscommunication with Cass stems from two things a simple ‘why are you so afraid to show how deeply you love?’ from Cass maybe a#‘I’m jealous of you because you’re better than me not only in fighting but morally and emotionally’ from Bruce should fix it#and Steph— look I’m not even going to TRY to get into that that goes SO much deeer and wider than any one else’s miscommunication#but maybe a ‘you reminded me of Jason at a time where that wasn’t a good thing’ from Bruce should start things up#for Duke a ‘I can never truly understand what you’re going/have gone through and for that I’m sorry’ from Bruce should suffice#maybe also Bruce telling him that just because he sees Duke as a son doesn’t mean he’s trying any less to get Duke his parents back#oh and babs just needs to go up to him and say ‘I don’t like that what happened to me happened for your story and not mine and I don’t like#that you don’t let me make it into my story’ and then Bruce can follow up and say ‘I see so much of myself in you and it makes me worry and#also I can never look at you without feeling guilty cuz you’re right what happened to you happened for MY story so I’m at fault’#then the two can go back to being too much like each other and sitting at their respective computers
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[languid] people sometimes go like ‘wow stella you really understand writing romance’ (deserved) and they wonder where my insight comes from. the answer is simply to understand misery in a relational context.
#my ramblings#if people didn’t have romantic needs they wouldn’t get in romantic relationships#(broadly speaking. obv there are exceptions and extenuating circumstances)#(and I'm specifically coming from a narrative perspective.)#and romantic needs are some permutation of relational needs#therefore there is a need that must exist and a need that has to be fulfilled (or ‘fulfilled’) by the love interest#being consoled. getting support. the pressure and drive to improve. having different and more exciting problems.#the illusion of a happy future. self-flagellation. a kindred spirit. a new perspective.#literally it doesn’t matter what as long as it exists and directs the relationship in some fashion#at least for emotional relationship development#but emotional goes with physical which is what tends to fall apart with clumsily executed romances#emotional development doesn’t match physical development or vice versa#I guess not all cases of ‘having a need’ would be considered ‘experiencing romance’ but it’s good for the ✨drama✨#siiiiggghhh I’m gonna reread some manga#just take the man vs nature man vs man man vs self framework and figure out how it manifests and develops in an interpersonal context#internally and externally#ok good night#time to talk the romos
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feeling sick about ellis and marshall’s relationship again
#to me they have the classic bro relationship but underneath that they have kind of a ‘i need you way more than you need me’ thing going on#like. ellis is usually vocal about his complaints with the world when it comes to absolutely everything else but the case with marshall is#as long as he’s happy then ellis is happy. like it doesn’t matter how jealous something makes him he will gladly push it down for the sake#of not bothering marshall and just letting him be happy#tgats. how i see them#‘i do like this guy lol he’s my funny friend who i like because he makes me laugh’ and ‘i literally love you’#you know you know#pictures of them sitting in the train late at night and marshall is asleep but ellis is awake…#ellis taking off his sweater and putting it on marshall to keep him warm and doing so as silently and softly as possible as to not wake him#yeah im. feeling SICK sick about them . Again yes you heard me Again#ive felt like this about them basically since the trailer#adventure time#fionna and cake#marshall lee#ellis p#lumpy space prince
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so at what point does the relationship anxiety go away
#it’s going on 3 weeks now which i know isnt that long but its the longest i’ve ever consistently seen a guy#but i still simply do not believe that he actually likes me or that this is real#i keep getting fully convinced that he’s tired of me or he doesnt want to talk to me anymore or he’s just changed his mind#and this particular anxiety has been worse since the last time i was at his apartment bc i had a panic attack on his floor over smth#he was very sweet and helpful about it and he literally didnt show any signs that this turned him off from anything but i’ve still#convinced myself he doesn’t want me anymore bc i was too much#i keep getting worried that i’m being too much like i’m being too clingy or taking up too much of his time#and i know it’s unfair to him bc he hasn’t done a single thing to make it seem like he doesn’t like me or he doesn’t want to do this#it’s all been overwhelmingly positive signals. but historically positive signals mean nothing guys will still turn around and ghost no#matter how much they say they’re into me or they enjoyed themselves or even if we literally had plans#maybe its just that im on my period idk#we’re supposed to go on another date tonight but i’m like convinced he’s going to cancel
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#i do not want to work tomorrow i want to lay in bed and be sad#i’m really realizing how miserable of a person i am i am always fucking Sad and when i do feel happy i cry when it’s over#and i can’t even resemble a human being without medication and i know that’s fine but i’m still always sad. it doesn’t go away#i feel like nobody deserves to have me weighing them down like i’ve cried in front of people three times this week and i know it’s fine#but i feel so fucking guilty about it and i feel guilty about everything i feel like i’m doing nothing right and i’m not dealing with thing#right and i’m not living right and i feel like it must be so fucking difficult to love me and i don’t know how people do it#i don’t even feel capable of asking for. any sort of love ever#i feel like i don’t deserve like anything. i feel like nobody actually wants to do things for me lol#every single dsy i’m like wow i want to be held and every single dsy i feel bad even asking for a hug from someone#when i need reassurance i’m afraid to ask because what if i’m just being annoying and overbearing and too much Bad#i never feel like too much good. only bad.#i know a lot of these shitty thoughts are just because i’ve been unmedicated (meds will be ready tomorrow lol) but it just like#it sucks to know medication just kinda hides these thoughts better and that deep down i feel like this because i don’t want to#i feel like everyone in my life doesn’t deserve someone who doubts everything all the time#i think my mother deserved a stronger daughter and i think my friends deserve someone that’s not always breaking and i just don’t feel Good#i don’t know why anyone keeps me around#sometimes i feel selfish for sticking around and that sounds so awful and i’m not gonna act on it but i just feel like a waste of a person#the last week has been so good and now i’m just a fucking mess and i feel so fucking guilty about that :)#i feel like no matter what i always just default to miserable#i don’t feel like i’m doing enough at all#i’m struggling in school i don’t work enough i can barely take care of myself#like i wouldn’t even properly take care of myself if taylor wasn’t helping me i feel so guilty about that all the time#i feel so guilty for even thinking any of this right now and i’m trying to remind myself that i’m unmedicated and i’ve had a long day#and my best fucking friend just went back home and i’m allowed to be sad about that but i just. feel like i’m making excuses i guess#it’s not immoral to be sad but maybe when i’m wanting to die all the time i’m the problem. idk#anyway i’m gonna go to sleep and i’m gonna try to convince myself tomorrow will be better#sndnsksjkakejdkalwosjhdkwosjdjsk. i will be fine
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Sometimes Diluc does wonder if the Delusion left a lasting impact on him, outside the never-fading scars on his arm. That if every time his temper flares or he deals a particularly cruel blow upon his opponent, it’s due to the Delusion’s lingering influence, that it may have altered him to be a crueler person as a result of his near half a decade-long dependence on it.
#hc; diluc#//Sometimes; he even goes as far as to wonder if the Delusion in fact only ENHANCED what was already there#//He’d damn near slain Kae out of anger as it was; anger he’d NEVER once thrown at Anyone before; much less HIM#//Who’s to say he didn’t already have that darkness within him; even considering the circumstances of that moment#//And him continuously—deliberately CHOOSING—using the Delusion only CEMENTED it deep into his self and soul#//He’s had plenty of his share of nightmares where he longs for the Delusion; regretting having Shattered it after its final use#//It was for the best; yes; but now he’ll forever be Haunted by the lack of it; like an addict in withdrawal#//There were times he DID try and cast it away during his years in Snezhnaya; but inevitably put it back on after harrowing nightmares#//He wishes he’d tried harder to get rid of it then; before it left such a lasting impression on him#//Even now; his body is still SO used to & wanting of it; he gets so RESTLESS#//Wanting to reach for and mess with it; only to find it gone and Remember why#//Or the marks it had branded him with start aching and acting up so bad; as though he were Burning from its fire#//Feeling utterly Exhilarated in the face of destruction his flames bring; in dreams or in reality then be Horrified at how much he’d done#//bc he SHOULDNT be proud of that; SHOULDNT delight in such cruel feelings and sights#//Especially when it comes to dealing w Fatui in Mond—the sick delight he feels in fighting/destroying them genuinely scares him at times#//He’s less inclined to feel it when dealing with the Abyss creatures—they aren’t HUMAN after all; but it still sets him at unease at times#//Sometimes particularly scathing remarks toward Kae during their bouts have even him balking#//Not quite rushing to take it back; esp not when Kae hits back harder or brushes it off w his irritating little posturing#//But still enough to make him mull it over afterwards & wonder just how much more resentment he holds for him#//And if he should watch out and make sure it doesn’t get so bad he tries to hurt him again#//He would NEVER willingly want to draw his sword on him ever again; not if he could help it#//no matter what’s become of their bond and how irreparable it must surely be; after all’s said and done#//But if the Delusion had truly sunk its cruel influence so deep into himself…who’s to say how well he can keep up this oath?#//Or smth idk lol
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mutuals i got myself into a situation so sticky i don’t even know how to describe it (edit: *describes it* lol). please send thoughts of successful escape my way lol
#purrs#delete later#i SONT understand anything about retirement or insurance whatever and basically imightve signed a contract for smth i didn’t understand#fully and im so scared lol. and i feel so bad bc im stupid and i don’t understand anything and no matter how much peopel#xolain it to me i don’t understand it. i feel like a stupid silly naive little girl rn LOLLLLL i feel so sick#it’s probably fine and not that bad and i didn’t do the wrong step but im freaking out. not just bc of the money situation but also bc they#have to do a. medical exam on me to see how much i would have to pay or whatever 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 wtf#im making it sound like a big bad scary freak thing isigned up for when really it’s not i don’t thin&. it’s just dividend lige insirance but#i don’t understand what any of it means and apparently other stuff is better. idk anything about retirement i only got into this stupid#situation because i had a mandatory retirement selection for work and ididnt understand anything so i scheduled a meeting with a retirement#counselor person to help me figure out which option would be the best for me and he was really nice and helped me a lot but then he started#saying he could help me w additional retirement stuff if i wanted to see what the options were and i was like sure and then he told me abt t#this thing and had me fill out / sign the application in that same meeting to ‘get the process started bc it takes. a long time’ even if i d#decided to pull out later it would be a good thing to get the ball rolling asap if i did end up wanting to do it. but i didn’t understand an#anythi ng and i went along with it anyway and now i might’ve fucked myself over so bad. except i probably didn’t but i feel so bad. bc he wa#was so nice and genuine but maybe he was just trying to sell me a product bc he gets a commission from the insurance company which i he told#me wheni asked him if im getting his help for free. i feel so stupid and guilty omg#and also i signed up for my first credit card but the interest rates are really high which i didn’t realize. and i can’t log into the bank a#account for some reason liek it says my acc doesn’t work. and hr fucked up my pay so i haven’t gotten a time sheet for like 2 pay periods an#and im getting retroactively paid in august but it’s just one more fucking thing and i haven’t gotten the chance to pick new benefits yet#and idk if i can / will bc of my stupid pay situation like i literaly don’t exist in the system rn apparently. i fucking hate all of this i#hate adulting i hate it i hate it i want to explode and hide forever and cry a lot. and my bank account isn’t even my own rn and i don’t und#understand anything about mony or insurance or benefits or credit cards or anything. im so overwhelmed FUCK
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I am never going to be a person who like…exercises. but I started just doing ten push-ups a day and the difference it’s made is wild
#can’t do anything that requires long term focus#self improvement is not a worthwhile use of my time in my head#so this is sort of my workaround to those rules?#it doesn’t take much time or space#and it’s something I can do no matter how shit my day has been#I’m like two and a half months in and my forearm muscles are no longer hiding#text post#personal#cash is fucking trying#I also rly want top surgery and I understand that the chest muscles being in good shape helps with healing#idk I feel like my arms look good I’ve never cared about my arms before except thinking they were fat in the Girl Times#now my naturally stocky build feels like it makes me stronger and that’s cool#it’s not gender euphoria exactly but it’s close maybe#I’ll get there someday
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wild how mothers will twist the the most basic acts of care with guilt and suspicion and rewire your entire brain to distrust kindness as condescension
#craaaaazy#self harm mention ahead:#she still asks if i’m okay when i wear long sleeves in hot temperatures#she still asks if i’ve brushed my teeth when i smile#she still asks if my partner and i are okay when i mention being stressed#it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since those were pertinent stressors in my life#anyway i snapped at my partner for reminding me to take my meds#and we’ve talked it through and we’re all good#but it’s like wooooooof ????!#literally just the kindness of ‘hey you missed your meds last night’ when you have memory issues#is so fucking sweet and such a reinforcement of love and care and attention#and yet there i was feeling like a scolded child#big sigh#love you guys we never really grow up we just get older
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hey, wait a minute but what about like. exiled prince touya, that fled his kingdom and joined up with some ragtag group of vagrants. and at first they were all, "yeah, we spit on the king's name, hope he falls dead in the privy, someone should really off that guy" and the next thing everyone knows, there's a loose assassination plan in place for enji.
that falls flat, of course.
but during the whole ordeal, dabi's identity gets leaked because he can't help but to proudly announce to the entire castle that the crown-prince has returned for revenge, and when everything goes to hell and the gang — the league — is left running back home to regroup — no one is dropping this thing about dabi being prince touya, and why were they even trying to assassinate enji, anyway; why don't they just go for the gold, the whole kingdom ?
so suddenly touya is back inside himself, a royal yet again, and what is an heirless usurper gonna do in the event that he dies ? well, he's gonna need a little wife, won't he ? couple of brats to make sure his legacy — his dream, of burning the king to the ground — lives on, right ?
#was trying to think outside the box with prince touya !! and what if he was just trying to be someone else !!#living in tue wild#maybe a bounty hunter or something#but he gets swept away by this group that seems to hate the king as much as he does#that actually would be crazy enough to take action against him#but before long — they know who he is and he cant escape his roots#no matter how hard he tries#and suddenly he's married and needing a son so he can go to war against his father and he doesnt know what to do !!!#wifbruwhqoandiqkabdk#...will need to write something for this or my brain will get worms#no he doesn’t want to be married. no he doesnt want to have children. no he doesnt want to have to try and try over and over to make sure —#— it takes......but you know what....you might not be so bad after all 👀#✿ willow writes#✿ shut up willow#✿ thoughts: dabi/touya
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I envy people who pump out content like it’s nothing. people who can write good stuff SO quickly. I have a few things I’m working on and I just feel like I can only write a teeny bit at a time and it takes so long 😭
#leah rambles#i know it doesn’t truly matter how long it takes me to write something#as long as i’m proud of it#but god damn how do some of y’all do it??
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okay but silver and kotone working so well together in ex because ho-oh’s sync move makes the weather sunny and kotone’s sunny side up move raises everyone’s stats two ranks when the weather is sunny to offset the fact that ho-oh’s overheat lowers its own sp. attack and soulsilvershipping soulsilvershipping soulsilvershipping they need to work together and make the day brighter as they do so UGGBGHRHWHRUWHEUW I’m okay
#my silver has dauntless so it doesn’t matter but do you know how long it takes sometimes trying to get those lucky skills lmao#so she still helps <3#it’s just the fact they were like designed to work together like man#and their little dialogue together is cute hehe
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Where’s that bojack horseman quote that’s like “you’re not good enough at this job to be too good for this job” that’s me at all my coworkers at this location
#fucking middle class college students who think they’re so above food service and kitchen shit#and never bother to get to know the kitchen staff at all#and then they look down at the dive bar location and I’m like. well why are all of us so much better at work than u are#I mean I don’t really care because like. it doesn’t matter at all as long as I get to go home on time#but it’s just so ironic to me#the dive bar location where all the employees are drinking on the clock and taking smoke breaks every 5 minutes#simply know more about how to talk to people than you#also about how to clean bathrooms
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