ppl keep getting crushes on me at work but I'm demisexual

otp questions for endhawks.........will u kick me if i'm greedy and say ALL OF THE NUMBERS

I WILL NOT but this might take a while tho!!!!

1. Who is the most affectionate?

hawks is more physically affectionate - he'll link their arms together, cuddle to enji's side in public, climb in his lap when they're home, hold his hand, initiate kisses more. but it's enji that people notice sending fond looks for his boyfriend so many times it becomes embarrassing - tabloids will have a whole article on endeavor's "heart eyes" ("my eyes are not hearts" enji frowns at the magazine in hawks' hands, who just shrugs and grins "seems like they are for me") so i would say, deep down the big man's a softie too

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

enji/hawks. unless enji has a nightmare, because in that case, hawks is more than happy to be his lil jetpack.

3. Most common argument?

ah they fight about the most useless things but one of my favorites that must come up often is enji thinking that hawks deserves better than him, and hawks insisting that he's everything he ever wanted.

4. Favorite non-sexual activity?

kicking villain ass and family dinners. hawks likes to eat, and enji likes to eat with his loved ones all in one place. he wonders why hawks gets along so well with his children, and then he realizes - he forgot (again) how insanely young hawks is, and that he's merely a few years older than his youngest son, too. ngl natsuo glares daggers at his old man for having a boyfriend half his age ahahaha

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

given that enji could swing hawks around like a yo-yo, i think it's him ADJGSGH

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

hawks likes everything about enji. he's really into his body, but also his dry sarcasm, his occasional goofy jokes, and most of all, his heart. hawks will watch enji kneel down to a couple of children at a battlefield, his own face and hands dripping with blood, grunt out "are you alright, kiddos? come here, i'll get you somewhere safe" and see him do exactly that, scoop the kids up in his arms and carry them on shaking legs that could barely keep himself up, and then he will see him let his eldest burn the world, his second eldest scream at his face, his youngest treat him like dirt and know that he still cares so deeply for them, know that he loves them and wants the best for them and if the best is torment their father until he dies or worse, he'll let them without so much as a complaint.

enji, on the other hand, loves how easily hawks can lift the mood. he's learned to see through facades, and he'll call him out if he senses that it's hurting hawks to put on a mask, but hawks joking around and mouthing off makes our atlas feel like the weight of the world is a little lighter that day. he loves him for how driven he is, how graceful and hard-working and focused he seems in a fight, and thinks about how those traits were most important to him in the past but now he can see hawks use them to create a world where they can rest, and he realizes... that's not so bad an idea after all.

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

enji speeds up the process of divorcing his wife lol. also he becomes more nervous around hawks, because shit, he likes him too, but he shouldn't be liked, why does hawks even like him? when hawks learns that enji likes him too, he gets shamelessly flirty. he doesn't make a move, of course - enji is still a married man, but he'll laugh at his nervousness, play with his own hair for enji's viewing pleasure and send suggestive winks his way like the damn tease he is.

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

enji calling hawks birdie is pretty obvious. hawks alternates every petname imaginable for enji when he learns that he's never been called one (he figures it out when he jokingly calls him darling once and enji blushes to the roots of his hair), his favorite is "sweetheart" and "baby". enji also calls hawks his angel, but only when he's being very soft for him

9. Who worries the most?

i mean..... both? enji tends to worry more for hawks' safety and hawks worries more for the crushing guilt enji lives with.

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

hawks - claims he does, but the truth is, he says a different thing each time and enji's happy to try new things as long as hawks will beam at him proudly after ordering

11. Who tops?

depends. they both do. enji topped more at the beginning because hawks was really into it and he was kinda insecure about asking for anything else, but hawks once offered and found out that he has a delicious bottom bitch on his hands.

12. Who initiates kisses?

hawks. height difference doesn't really matter when you have wings to fly up to your boyfriend's face and kiss him stupid

13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

enji does. he wants to feel that hawks is by his side all the time, safe and sound.

14. Who kisses the hardest?

again, enji. his kisses get desperate, his hands rough. his temperature goes up despite his will and he just wants hawks to melt against him

15. Who wakes up first?

enji does! he's used to working out in the early morning before going to work

16. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

hawks does!! deep down he's still a rebellious lazy teen and whenever he has a day off, he likes to sleep until 12. he swears he considers breaking up with enji the first time the man wakes him up at 6 to ask if he wants to come work out with him

17. Who says I love you first?

surprisingly, enji does. hawks is way too protective of his own feelings to let them flow out so soon, but enji is desperate, he wants hawks by his side for ever, and the first time he says it is the first time he realizes it's true. they're out eating dinner one day, and enji watches hawks chew around the food in his mouth, downing chicken like his life depended on it, and he watches the last rays of sunlight hit his golden hair, his golden eye, paint his wings blood red, and he knows he hasn't seen anything more perfect than that sight. he tells him he loves him, and hawks laughs so much he almost chokes on food. "pretty fucked up to tell me that while i'm deepthroating yakitori" he tells him, giggling

18. Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

hawks!!! it usually says cheesy things like "good luck at work, endeavor-san!" or "don't forget to eat ur vegetables!" when there are zero vegetables in the lunches hawks packs for him

19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

i mean hawks doesn't have much connection to his family, or has many friends, but enji is kind of pressed to tell his family all about his relationship since, you know. the news would reach them sooner or later anyway

20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

mirko is THRILLED that hawks is dating endeavor. the todoroki family, i mean.... shoto is confused, natsuo is mad, fuyumi and rei are both supportive and say they both want the best for enji. but mostly they just all think that he's really. Really young lol

21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

hawks!!! he likes to dance around the kitchen while enji is cooking or doing the dishes, and sometimes manages to seduce enji into his arms too.

22. Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

hawks is a better cook, but he never tells enji about that. he just lets him suffer and teach himself how to cook because it's so much fun

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

hawks, but he says nothing he would ever say can beat enji calling him his angel. that's the cheesiest it can get, and it's also only because of his wings, like shut up enji omg that's so embarrassing

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

hawks gets bored on important meetings. then he looks over to enji in a suit and gets horny. one of his favorite hobbies is watching enji squirm and struggle to keep it together after he's stroked his thigh under the table and whispered filth in his ear

25. Who needs more assurance?

enji does. he really, honestly thinks he doesn't deserve the love hawks has for him.

26. What would be their theme song?

my dude every song on ur playlist could be but this one in particular takes the cake for real

27. Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

in an au where enji's kids are still kids instead of grown adults, hawks would definitely read to them (sometimes legit tales, sometimes just colored-up and censored versions of their dad's missions) and cuddle them to sleep while he hums to them softly. in a non-au, enji catches him with shoto sleeping all wrapped up in his arms and wings, right after comforting him when he had a nightmare, trying to keep awake but slowly dozing off holding enji's youngest, most precious son, and enji kind of falls in love a lot more.

28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

text, call, videochat. hawks makes a show of wearing some of enji's clothes, but really, you can't keep these assholes away from each other.

29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

enji will never think he deserves to have hawks by his side

30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

hawks will never grow tired of showing enji how much he deserves him.

PART 7 - video #13

(Click here for mirrors)

what’s up

(Sorry for the offensive language in this one. He’s pretty pissed.) - He wants to discuss the legal case. He filed an anti harassment protection order against two individuals. One of them has been harassing him for the last 8-10 years. This person deleted earlier videos, but Greg’s life is this guys’s obsession. It’s crazy how obsessed he is. Greg is no doubt on this guy’s mind 24/7. It’s creepy and weird. Lately he’s been documenting ever aspect of every interaction he has in Greg’s world. The dude just make $20,000 on attorney’s fees on a case Greg had dismissed. You guys payed some dude to show up to court and hear the case was dismissed. Numbskulls. If you’re a Youtuber and someone tells you to stop talking about them, why would you hire an attorney to go into court and speak for you? Dude couldn’t even speak for himself. He was just sat there smirking like a jackass while he’s losing his hair and gets fatter. Total idiot, punk ass bitch. Greg was overwhelmed be how much of a bitch he was. - Greg was standing there with his bulletproof vest and people wonder why he was wearing that. “Christina Grimmie anyone?” He knows she wasn’t shot in the bulletproof vest area, but life is a danger when you show up to a court room where a bunch of people thinks you prey on children. Where are the children by the way? Who even made this up? Because he was blackmailed into sleeping with an 18 year old, now he’s into kids? He doesn’t understand the leap in logic. - The other person the case was against was someone who used to specialize in going after people who go after children. He’s trying to make it look like Greg would want to go after a child like that. It’s pathetic and one of the dumbest thing he’s ever seen. When he dated Shiloh when she was 17 1/2. They spoke to the police and they cleared him of any inappropriate images on his computer and everything. He was 100% cleared with Shiloh. Another relationship where he’s still married to the person, so that worked out. Another relationship where someone was 19. Another who was 18 1/2. Someone we don’t know about was 26. Someone we don’t talk about was 24. The wife before was 24 when they separated. People obsess over these relationships and try to relate it to children. They don’t want to go after people who go after 12 year old, they go after people who date adults. - Says this is the funniest thing: “Well they’re still mentally a child,” There are 50 year olds who are mentally a child and there are 18 year olds that are mentally 90. That’s a fact. When he was 17 he had the maturity of a 40 year old male. He was a little dark and goth, but very capable.  - At the court case Greg is sitting across from this pasty, greasier than him, looks like he never saw the sun in his life, beta male, pathetic, he’s definitely getting a double chin soon.[Greg is laughing] He’s smirking at the judge and Greg thought he was an idiot because he’s smirking in court like an ass hat. Judges likes to see people taking it seriously. - Greg went to court and asked for it to get dismissed because anti harassment protection orders are more open and close when the person isn’t a public figure. The problem is you have an ex who hates your guts and now he wants to stalk you, that’s illegal. Now he started a tumblr about you so now in court he just has to say he’s protected by the Constitution, freedom of the press and freedom of speech. Your lawyer can argue that they’re a stalker, but that’s stressful. Now you have to argue the constitution. He avoided going in there and arguing the constitution against people who are Youtubers, not journalists. Journalism used to mean you work for someone, now it means you have a blog. - [This section is sarcasm btw.] Chris is still a journalist even though he was released from his contract after someone killed themselves. He’s a journalist because he livestreams, which is what a 13 year old could do. Congratulations. - Being a youtuber isn’t a prideful thing. If you think you’re a big deal because you have a few million subscribers, you’re a joke, Youtube is a joke. Youtubers who take themselves seriously and think they have an impact on the world are jokes. They’re all pathetic because there are real hardworking people out there like soldiers, construction workers, and scholars. Youtubers are morons. - Real journalists go to Iraq or go in a storm and talk about the weather. A journalist isn’t a dude who works with a dude who is perused in court for sexual assault while dating a much younger women while going after people online who date younger women and act like they’re predators. That’s “retard paradox.” - A journalist from Newsweek approached him in the courthouse and it was one of the most bleh experiences he had in his life. “Pathetic” is too much of a dignified word for this person. He walked up to Greg and said, “yo Onision. I really want to hear your side of the story. I’m not anti-o. I really just care about the truth, you know?” Greg ignored him and kept looking at his phone. The guy said, “Ok I get it, I get it. You don’t trust me but you gotta know you can trust me.” Greg wanted him to fuck off. He doesn’t trust a single reporter on this earth because they are looking for headlines, just like Youtubers. Especially Newsweek. The articles they write about him are totally baseless. They don’t care. He sees no credentials. He sees someone who flunked out of high school or didn’t go to any journalism school working for Newsweek. This guy followed Greg into the bathroom even though he knew Greg didn’t want to talk to him. “Just say one word Greg.” His name is JAMES. [He lists his old names.] They’re too stupid to get his name right. “I’m Greg James bitch!” [I have no idea what he’s quoting but he’s been saying that for a while now.] - He gets in the court room and there are emo girls with dyed hair everywhere. Fucking morons. “When did this court room become a clown show?” He mimics them giggling and saying “that’s onision.” He says he should have just brought mace. [He pretends to spray mace onto the people in the court room and laughs.] These chicks are taking pictures and saying look at his snow boots. He says he doesn’t have dress shoes so he wore snow boots. Those are his ass kicking boots. One stomp and you’re done. He came prepared for war. - Hansen’s lawyer comes up and says he was never served so they want it dismissed even though he’s well aware he’s supposed to be here cuz he sent me. Legally, Greg guesses, you have to get served in order to show up, but Chris publicly acknowledged he was supposed to be there. He could fly across the country to have the cops called on him but he can’t fly across the country to show up in court. Pussy, moron, douche bag. Where is the money going? What is he spending it on? His debts? You guys don't realize you're getting played because you paid someone $20,000 for $2,500 in fees, which he says probably wasn’t even that much because the case was open and close. The attorney wasn’t even there for an hour. You have pussy boy who has an attorney speaking for him and Greg speaks for himself. He tells the judge he got legal advise and is taking a different legal avenue. He is literally doing it right now. - Some dumb ass hoes, dumb ass bitches follow him into the elevator. This girl was sitting next to her sugar daddy who had a beard and was a blimp. She’s holding up her camera and she was a midget and she asks him if he’s having a good day. He’s standing there thinking, “all these stupid ass whooohhmmms”. [seems like he was going to say whores but stopped himself] He’s silent because if he says anything it would wind up being te-he-he bullshit. He had sunglasses on so he didn’t have to look at the dumb bitch in the eyes. - 2nd floor happens, elevator opens. No one got out. Bitches are going to follow him all the way to the first floor. They’re there because they want to see the circus, they’re the clowns in the circus. He was surrounded by fucking idiots. They show up because they want him to do what? Like when Hansen showed up at his house he was surprised Greg’s obviously fake videos weren’t real because he’s a boomer. He asks if people could start saying “ok boomer” because this is an actual boomer. He does math and says not exactly, but pretty much. - Court was stupid. He didn’t have a good time. He treated himself to taco bell and treated people to dinner because he saved money by not hiring an attorney. He knows the other guys spent a shit load of money. It’s amazing they could have done it for free. They hired an attorney so they could continue to harass someone. How low life is that? If someone took him to court for harassment he would just stop talking about them. He could move on. - When you file an anti-harassment protection order you can’t talk about that person either so it’s like a mutual contract to F off. He says that last thing was just speculation. He doesn’t know what the actual rules are.  - He thinks it’s creepy and says a lot about a person when they fight an anti-harassment protection order. Why is it so hard to leave people alone? They’re harassers, it fits the definition. Not everyone is sane or reasonable. Just gotta keep going at it. People will keep cashing in on Greg. Greg owns all the channels. They get the revenue, but Greg gets the face time because they always think about him. Their whole job is him. “Fuck you.” He doesn’t know how you could waste the most precious thing you were given, life, on someone you hate. - He tells the emo girls that showed up to court to get a fucking haircut and to dye their hair a normal color.

TVD 3x03 Review

I’m skipping to 3x03 because me and initiumseries already did 3x02 in a drunk review even though for some reason I label it 3x03 (maybe I was still drunk when I uploaded it):

1. I like that when Damon asks Katherine where she is and she says, “Staring out your window, pining away” this fool actually looks around. She isn’t there, Damon.

2. I didn’t realize how whiny Nina is as Katherine until now, my god.

3. “Details are all a blur.” “Well that’s a crying shame.” Translation: YOU DON’T REMEMBER US, STEFAN?

4. Yeah I hate it but in 3x03, when Stefan’s feeding on that woman in the car, Paul is slick there because as an actor he’s relishing the opportunity in being bad, it works well for him.

5. Rebekah’s introduction is pretty good. Just rolling up on Stefan, licking his cheek and talking about the date he just killed. This is why I never understood why when people think of Bad Boy Stefan/Dark Stefan and his partner in crime they go to Katherine, it’s Rebekah he’s the “bad boy” with.

6. “Chicago was magical.” “Yeah well I’ll take your word for it.” Legit Klaus’ utter look of disappointment when Stefan brushes off Chicago is hilarious. Omg, those two.

7. Oh look Damon just in Elena’s bed, she’s clearly uncomfortable and he’s making a sexual joke. Omg totally in love!

8. Oh Look Damon rifling through Elena’s underwear drawer.

9. Caroline’s dad’s logic doesn’t make sense considering that Caroline isn’t going around killing people for blood. She uses blood bags. She has it under control. He can’t turn her into a non-vampire so this entire process is a waste of time.

10. I will say the shot of her being tortured by the sun was good.

11. Damon forcing Elena to read Stefan’s diary is literally just him trying to knock him down a peg in her eyes.

12. I was going to say I find it interesting that as a ripper Stefan would continue to write in his journal but in the ‘20s Stefan doesn’t have his humanity off, he’s just off the deep end with his ripper nature so he’s manic, which means he does feel and Stefan probably feels things the most profoundly on the show so it would make sense he’d journal.

13. Stefan as a Ripper is also just a bro. Which I find funny.

14. “What is this?” *shows a picture of Stefan and Klaus.” “I told you, Stefan, Chicago is a magical place.” LOL. Be boyfriends.

15. HA. Yo I’m sorry man but Stefan grabs Klaus and pulls him around to face him, Joseph’s face JUST looks turned on. They can’t help this shit and it’s HILARIOUS.

16. They tried to recreate the Klebekah scene with Steroline but the latter felt flat for SO many reasons. First of all, with Klebekah, their victim is panting, which adds a really disturbing sense of eroticism to the scene. Second of all, Stefan starts touching Rebekah AS they feed on this woman. Third of all, Claire and Paul just had better chemistry.

17. “I’m bored, I want to go.” “Then go without me I’m not your girlfriend.” Says Rebekah to her brother meanwhile her brother and Stefan are eye-fucking the shit out of each other after Stefan and Rebekah were getting off on killing an innocent woman. Legit the three of them together are MESSY.

18. There is so much inappropriate tension in this scene.

19. And again, Klaus looks so turned on at Stefan committing violence, he STAYS adjusting himself, like omg.

20. This is the second Black female bartender that Damon’s flirted with that’s ended up dead.

21. I think what I actually enjoy about Elena reading Stefan’s ripper diaries is that she flips through it looking for hope (one of their fundamental themes) and she gets to the 30s where Stefan says the bloodlust is easier and Lexi’s onto her next project, which is getting him to laugh and she smiles, assured. I like it because she didn’t have to see that he was “cured” she just had to see that he was better.

22. The closet scene! AND their love theme plays. 3x03 is definitely not an underrated scene among SErs but I always like talking about how layered it is in terms of the characters and in terms of chemistry. I bring it up a lot because Lupita Nyong’o brought up a point about chemistry:

“Chemistry is something that you pray for as an actor because it is so hard to fabricate. It’s so much easier to just have it and then, you know, work on other things, on your intention and your action and all that. Trying to fabricate chemistry is just … it adds another … it’s a lot of energy.”

And I think a prime example of this is 3x03 because even the way Nina spoke about the scene, about how at that point, it had been the longest time she and Paul had gone without filming a scene together so seeing him really felt like seeing him for the first time and the feeling of the scene

And like I’ve said before, Elena being in the closet is Stefan’s past/his darkness and his future/his light converging in one space.

But also what I like about SE and the way TVD had written them is they give them mini tests within the relationship that they then overcome. For instance, Stefan is super far gone, he’s off the wagon, he’s been murdering people for months, is he so far gone that he’ll turn on Elena? And for a second it looks like he might when calls Klaus over but he doesn’t because he just gives him a vintage.

Stefan is drinking human blood, Elena doesn’t like it, is that going to be a choice that tears them apart or brings them together? Elena chooses to be in it with Stefan by giving him her vein.

There’s constant tension between Stefan’s vampirism and SE love and SE love always wins out. 

23. “I had an hour to realize what a bad idea it was to leave you here alone, process it and move on.” Damon, you’re a dick.

24. Klaus is so in love with Stefan and I find it hilarious because this isn’t brotherly at all.

25. These stares. Get a ROOM.

26. Yeah see Candice is good at screaming when it comes to being tortured but when it comes to crying she’s adequate at best.

27. KLEFAN WHY ARE Y’ALL SO CLOSE?

28. Touching chests and shit.

29. Klaus: I forgot what it was like to have a brother.

Me:

30. It always bothered me that when the vampire use vampire speed in the show and slam each other against things like walls and doors, nothing dents or cracks. They do it in Mr and Mrs. Smith for godsake and they’re not even vampires!

31. That was a BAD shot of Ian, man, he looked old as fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

32. “Well I am torn, you see, I promised Stefan I wouldn’t let you die but how many freebies did I really sign up for? And clearly you WANT to die otherwise you wouldn’t be here...” Jo’s delivery is on point.

33. I’ve said it before but the, “You shouldn’t be here.” “Where else would I be?” and Elena’s head tilt like of COURSE I’d come after you, of COURSE I’m here, of course, of course, of course, is really just pure SE.

34. “When I’m done with him, he won’t want to go back.” Idc, the writers had to know that that the line was DRIPPING with innuendo.

35. “I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to be with you.” SE did this so much better than DE did because it wasn’t hyperbolic and the inflection in Paul’s tone, the shocked stillness of Elena is just done so WELL. And their circumstance is also SO MUCH sadder than DE’s was because DE’s issue was literally just that Damon was trash.

36. Aww Forwood.

37. Oh Klaus stabbing Rebekah because she wants to leave, I just wish they made them Cesare and Lucrezia. Go all the way. Cowards.

38. Klaus: Look guys, we’re an Ot3 again!

39. See when Rebekah throws over the casket, it should break apart.

40. Stefan’s hair really was stupid in the 20s.

41. “Have you seen these two people before?” “No.” “OK.” That’s it?

Alright guy, thanks for reading!

Jane and carlos ship meme can't remember if I already asked for this

You haven’t.

1.Whois the most affectionate?:

Carlos.

Afterlearning that showing affection and vulnerability isn’t somethingto be avoided at all costs, and more so, not being victimized andtaken advantage of by others that just reinforce his Isle-sourcedbeliefs, he just goes all out on showing his friends, hispseudo-family, and especially Jane as much love and affection as hecan.

2.Bigspoon/Little spoon?:

Theyalternate, depending on who’s having the worse day, the worse panicattack, or in the case that they’ve both suffered equally sucky andterrible days, who Dude or their current pet dog/s decides to snuggleup to.

3.Mostcommon argument?:

Carlos’scientific projects, and what he can or can not work on, at home orin the office.

Aftergetting access to proper education, professional mentorship,communication with his fellow inventor peers, scholarships, researchgrants, and most importantly, a lifetime membership at the HandyDandy Hardware store franchise, sometimes even the laws of physicsaren’t enough to limit Carlos’ trying to make his ideas areality.

As he borrows from Adam Savage, “I reject your reality, and substitute my own!”

4.Favoritenon-sexual activity?:

Discussionof their days, what happened, and what will be happening.

Janeenjoys the way Carlos lights up when discussing his latest project,results, and activities, even if sometimes her incredibly advancedthought process and infallible memory can’t keep up with him, andCarlos enjoys knowing that he’s serving as the sympathetic,attentive ear for whenever Jane needs to unload, and boy, does shehave some plenty interesting stories to tell, even if they are rants.

They’reboth all too used to being ignored, or outright being told to shutup, that their issues and concerns were less important than someoneelse’s—the most common culprits were Cruella, and of course,Audrey.

It’sREALLY nice to have someone who just up and listens, no questionsasked.

5.Whois most likely to carry the other?:

Jane.

Carlosheavily relies on mathematics, physics, and Judo whenever he has todo anything physical. And however frail Jane’s mortal body lookslike, she can easily override the “limiters” and becomesuperhumanly strong.

6.Whatis their favorite feature of their partner’s?:

Janereally enjoys Carlos’ energy and sheer enthusiasm when he gets intosomething he really, really, really enjoys, such as dogs,science projects, or some other sort of achievement like an amazingblock in a friendly, non-professional Tourney game with friends.

Carlosloves Jane’s eyes, the one thing that she doesn’t—can’t,really—de-age or attempt to hide just how old, how experienced, andhow many things she has seen over her immortal existence, good, bad,and everything in between.

7.What’sthe first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings forthe other?:

Youcan watch this whole series in Descendants 2. I really don’tagree with many of the writer’s decisions and how they executed it,but I’m too lazy and tired to think up of an entirely differentseries of them getting together.

8.Nicknames?& if so, how did they originate?:

“Dr.de Vil” after Carlos officially gets his doctorate in MechanicalEngineering, “My Little Mad Scientist” because of all of hiscrazy, zany experiments, and “Fae’s Best Friend” when he onceasked, “If dogs are man’s best friend, what does that make me toyou?”

“BabyJane” as an affectionate, playful nickname, “Doggy Godmother”because of how experienced and skilled she is with taking care ofdogs, and “Blue” when Jane explicitly asked him to make up aspecial nickname that only he could use.

9.Whoworries the most?:

Jane.

Carloshas learned that sometimes, there’s really nothing you can do butface whatever impending unpleasantness is coming your way, and thatall the fretting and hypothesizing in the world is better spentactually doing something, objectively and definitively finding outhow a decision/preparations/experiment will turn out.

Thataside, he’s mortal, worrying takes up a lot of his inherentlylimited energy, and Jane has no such constraints.

10.Whoremembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?:

Jane.Infallible Faerie Memory, baby.

11.Whotops?:

Theyswitch, but Jane takes this role the most.

12.Whoinitiates kisses?:

Carlos.See No. 1.

13.Whoreaches for the other’s hand first?:

Carlos.

14.Whokisses the hardest?:

Jane.Initiation might be difficult and awkward for him, but bridging theinitial gap is kind of like opening the floodgates of affection,love, and messy, slobbery tongue-action.

15.Whowakes up first?:

Jane,by virtue of rarely, if ever actually sleeping, and only for a fewhours if she does.

16.Whowants to stay in bed just a little longer?:

Carlos.All that flurry of activity and thinking in a short span of timeequates to a LOT of forced, necessary downtime, and unlike hissmartphone, you can’t expect him to be completely ready to doa-zillion different functions and programs as soon as you press the“On” button.

17.Whosays I love you first?:

Again,see the Descendants 2 movie.

18.Wholeaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does itusually say?):

Jane.

It’susually reminders of things that miss Carlos’ (admittedlyincredibly haphazard and disorganized) record keeping system, butsometimes she just goes on to say how much she loves him, or cutelittle things their pets have done that he might like to know about.

19.Whotells their family/friends about their relationship first?:

Jane,though it’s really easy to do so when your mother isn’tobjectively fucking crazy.

20.Whatdo their family/friends think of their relationship?:

FairyGodmother is super supportive and loving towards Carlos—sometimes alittle too much, as FG has a tendency to overcompensate with the“maternal support towards the boyfriend” because of lingering,unconscious guilt of never being around for Jane as much as sheshould have been.

Cruellathinks the whole thing is an absolute disgrace, especiallysince Jane can’t really get “anything of actual worth” fromCarlos. “Not that a homely face and run-of-the-mill body like herscan nab anyone worth marrying in the first place!”

21.Whois more likely to start dancing with the other?:

Carlos.Excessive amounts of energy that need to be released, yo.

22.Whocooks more/who is better at cooking?:

Jane.She’s had plenty of free time to fill, and even though Carlos doescook, he using his hands to work with machines and computers, notknives and fresh ingredients.

23.Whocomes up with cheesy pick up lines?:

Carlos.

“Youknow, Jane, when I think about us, I can’t help but feel like I’ma nut.”

“Anut? Why?”

“BecauseI fit so well with you, like you’re a bolt, and we were just madefor each other.”

24.Whowhispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear duringinappropriate times?:

Carlos.Look, Jane is not above and definitely into dirty talk, but Carlos isthe one who always feels the need to “shake things up” when Janewould rather they not be shook.

25.Whoneeds more assurance?:

Jane.

Carlosisn’t the picture of absolute, constant self-confidence, but atleast he can’t completely, objectively remember every single timehe has ever felt like he could not do it, and it turns out thatdespite his best efforts and the confidence of others, he couldn’tdo it after all.

26.Whatwould be their theme song?:

Imay have used this before, and my apologies if I did, and also for mylimited song knoweldge, but “Body Image” by TWRP fits them verywell.

Jane’sphysical appearance remains a sore point for the rest of her life—shewas “beautiful” in high school, but what about college? The realworld as a “twenty-something” in as much as an immortal, agelessfaerie can be a twenty-something? How should she look as she, herfriends, and her lover age and grow older?

Justhow much gray should she have on her hair? Should she start changingher appearance to have more wrinkles, extra, unnecessary padding, alittle more stoop to her posture? Is it even fair to be simulating aweakening, failing body, when everyone knows full well she willeternally be a spry spring chicken blessed with divine strength andagility like a Grecian Avian Demi-God?

Regardlessof what she looks like, though, Carlos will always love her.

27.Whowould sing to their child back to sleep?:

Jane.

Carlosdoesn’t really feel like he’s up to the task, seeing as all his“lullabies” were Cruella screaming at him at the top of hislungs, blaming him for all her problems, and loudly saying to hisface, message clear thanks to her facial expression, body language,and tone, that she regrets ever having him.

28.Whatdo they do when they’re away from each other?:

Carlosdoes science, Tourney, and “Guy Things” with Jay, the specificsof which change over time. In their teens and twenties, it’s goingout to town, getting into trouble, and possibly being arrested. Inhis thirties and forties, it’s meetings with the other dads and“with kids or serious, all-consuming careers” adults for thingslike weekend hunting trips, “bad-back friendly” Tourney teams andgames, and of course, embarrassing group bonding events with theirkids, their nephews and nieces, and/or godchildren, and so on and soforth for however long he lives.

Janegoes on with her numerous jobs and duties as a Fairy Godmother in anage mostly without magic, hanging out with her female friends withwhatever activities are “in” with them at the moment, and tryingto immerse herself in the present culture however well or awkwardlyshe can, if only so the inevitable generational paradigm shift of allof society around her gets less surprising and sudden.

29.oneheadcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart:

Carlosand Jane own a LOT of dogs over the course of their relationship. Asyou would expect, none of these puppers ever live as long as Carlosdoes, and it’s impossible for any of them to be an immortal Faelike Jane. Every decade or so, they lose a furry best friend orthree, bury and/or cremate them, and shelve a scrapbook filled withprinted photos and mementos in a special collection with all theirdogs.

Ithappens constantly. It’s inevitable. They know, and willinglyaccept that fact every time they are gifted a new puppy, or adopt onefrom the shelter.

Butstill, every single time, it hurts.

Andno time does it hurt the most, than the first time Jane has to fillin the very last pages of a scrapbook by herself, decide whereexactly it’s going to go in that giant wall of scrapbooks by herlonesome, figure out all by herself whether or not she’s going togo get a new dog, after she buried both her latest pet and herhusband.

30.oneheadcanon about this OTP that mends it:

Weknow from Mulan there’s definitely an afterlife—or enough of aperson that sticks around, that it’s basically them for all intentsand purposes. And thanks to connections with Lonnie, and the gradualweakening of the Magic Ban to the point where it’s really just aset of regulatory acts not unlike the laws governing ownership anddriving of a car, Jane manages to get an opportunity to see Carlosagain, along with all of their dogs.

Janehugs and kisses the ghostly, kind-of-cold Carlos in the middle of asea of dogs, before they both lie down and drown in all theslobbering, yipping, yapping, barking, licking, and tail-wagging,struggling to keep up with all the lapdogs who refuse to share withall the other lapdogs, the dogs that really did not like making newfriends, the ones that were just too eager to be friendly withabsolutely everyone they encountered--

--Alltheir dogs, of all temperaments, breeds, backgrounds, and what haveyou, Jane remembering all of them in infallible, exact detail,holding them in her arms once more, feeling their love and affectioneven if her hand goes right through them, and there’s no warmth, nofluffiness when she tries to pet them, just a muggy, slightlyunpleasant coldness.

Thereunion lasts for hours, the magicians, voodoo practitioners, andspirit callers officiating it having to clock overtime because theyhave just that many dogs, and Jane and Carlos want personal time witheach of their pets, however long each canine wants to be with boththeir owners once again.

Buteventually, even the most attention and affection hungry pup hastheir fill, even the dogs that want play time to stretch for on andon find themselves bowing out, and Jane feels that fatigue settingin, the kind that shouldn’t technically exist, but the power oftrying to imitate being normal and human can bring.

Janeand Carlos stand up, hug and kiss one last time, before Jane moves tothe side with the exhausted or just replaced summoners, Carlos andtheir dogs move to the other side. Hands waving, mouths open inpants, tails wagging, they say their goodbyes, before the latterdisappear, and all is quiet once more.

Janegoes home, and spends quite a long time alone immediately after, andtaking something of a semi-vacation from all her work and duties forthe time after that.

Butsome day, she plans on getting herself a new puppy, changing herphysical appearance once more to a woman definitely old enough to besomeone’s mom but not quite someone’s grandmother, putting out adating ad as she tries to get back in the “market.”

Shedoesn’t know exactly what she’s looking for, but she does knowthat they must love dogs.

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