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safyresky · 6 months

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So I've only watched this last week's (this has been in my drafts for WAY too long) episode once (I usually do it twice but have yet to do a second watch and feel a rewatch will be in order at some point) but I have been rotating it around in my head since tscs mutuals first started posting their thoughts and I have SO MANY thoughts because this episode ONCE AGAIN packed soo many things in one go. Why don't they understand how PACING works? My GOD.

Anyway~

My initial thoughts before even watching the episode were "this is whack". Here's why.

This is episode 3.

Of 6.

We are halfway through. And our antagonist (Mad Santa) and Protagonist (Santa Scott) have yet to cross paths. And post watching S2E3, Mad Santa only JUST got his hands on some North Pole magic.

THREE EPISODES IN. HALFWAY THROUGH.

Do you know how much stuff is going to be packed into the next THREE EPISODES? Let me make a list (bc I LOVE lists)

Mad Santa getting back to the Pole

The obligatory "I've failed ):" from Santa Scott when Mad Santa gets to the Pole

Mad Santa GETTING to the Pole

The Council giving Scott 3 months to get Cal shipshape, and episode 3 starting with Olga saying IT'S BEEN THREE MONTHS.

(ALREADY????)

So we still have THAT to look forward to, assuming they even LISTEN to their own boundary, since we know this show's track record with continuity is. Bad.

PLUS we still have a Sandman cameo coming! And a big old snowball to be thrown in Scott's face! (I have my clown shoes on)

Carol is STILL trying to find the missing nutcracker. She has gotten no closer; her trail is so cold she's looking at JACK as a suspect (yes I saw the cameo too, absolutely delightful for us Jack stans on main)

(pun absolutely intended)

Cal and Sandy are only JUST talking to one another about how their magic training is going, and are only JUST like. Diving into the drawbacks of being raised up North AND NEVER GOING ANYWHERE as well as the trauma that must be there from experiencing life in the real world, ENJOYING IT, and being yanked back to the Pole for the "family business"

Befana and Sandy. So THAT is a thing that was lovely then fell apart for no good reason--it was ONE MISTAKE and could've been handled better Befana, come ON girlie!

Easter Bunny being turned back into his EB form (tho tbh we should keep him as a bunny. Sorry not sorry, I have always been an EB hater on main)

Cal dealing with A) first heartbreak over Riley (which was stupid, more on that later) B) not wanting to be/do the Santa thing BECAUSE of a MULTITUDE of reasons he has NOT shared with Scott and C) the fallout when he realizes the vest is gone. He is NOT going to tell his parents at ALL. His whole existence practically rides on "I gotta make Dad proud!" and this deffs won't do it, but HEY! Maybe the writers will surprise me and he'll be OPEN and HONEST with his Dad!

Bc let's be real, ALL OF THEIR PROBLEMS COULD BE SOLVED WITH OPEN COMMUNICATION

I am off topic. Deep breaths. Whew. SO. We have all THAT to focus on.

PLUS Sandy's powers! She's apparently more powerful than Befana thought? Sandy now has to deal with that SANS her mentor and I DOUBT Carol will be helpful with that. She WOULD'VE BEEN in the MOVIES. But SERIES CAROL? APPARENTLY NOT FUCKING LIKELY SINCE ALL OF HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT HAS GONE OUT THE DOOR FOR TOKEN FEMINISM THAT IS IMMEDIATELY CHECKED OFF A LIST AND MADE IRRELEVANT WITH THE PLOT OF "One woman is jealous of another woman"

Oh my god off topic again. SORRY. RIGHT. So, we have Sandra's magic to deal with still. Her mentor/mentee relationship with Befana. Cal's own magical struggles and his relationship with his Dad in terms of Mentor/Mentee. These kids need THERAPY, SOMEONE CALL NEIL

SO ALL OF THAT. IS GOING TO BE JAM PACKED INTO THESE LAST THREE EPISODES. AND I JUST KNOW (based on last season) THE RESOLUTIONS WILL NOT PAY OFF.

So yeah, thems the opening thoughts (with some watch thoughts leaking in, admittedly).

AS FOR THE EPISODE ITSELF.

OH BOY.

It's still very mid. It gives a lot of good bits but either A) contradicts them or B) gives them not enough time to flourish (see: Carol and Befana for A, and Cal and Sandra for B). It is also STILL ignoring its own continuity, and not just from the movies, but from literally the first two episodes of the season!

Did Cupid not say. One to two episodes ago. "Hey Santa, we, the Council, aren't really sure about this Cal thing? So uh. You've got three months. and if it's not working out. We're calling it."

And did Olga not say. At the start of this episode. "It's been THREE MONTHS since we escaped and we are NO CLOSER" yadda yadda yadda.

So THREE MONTHS have passed between THIS EPISODE, AND THE LAST ONE?

SO WHERE THE HELL IS THE COUNCIL? HELLO???

I actually thought that that would be like, the big crunch time thing for the series, you know? THE plot motivator. Or at least, one of many. Like I was expecting a montage and for each episode to have a month packed in and for the final episode to involve resetting everything to Scott's ideal status quo and defeating Mad Santa and Olga. Needless to say, I was SHOOK when they opened with THAT.

Olga and Magnus are fucking hilarious, full stop. I kinda want Olga to do a stab ngl!! Their whole dynamic has been interesting lol.

The Judy cameo was a fun Easter egg, but it's a shame they didn't give it a bit more hype, you know? That would've been fun. The Jack cameo (if we can even call it that) was ALSO a fun Easter Egg, tho I am much too mad at Carol's writers rn to be like WOO JACK. But you bet your ASS I saw that lil easter egg, lol. It's kinda frustrating? They keep throwing these lil cameos/easter eggs at us like it's an attempt to placate us or smth. Idk, I am tired and JADED and Don't Trust Like That.

Right so what else. Going in for round two. Wish me luck:

Agree with ALL OF YOU about the poor elves being used as reindeer stand ins 🙄🙄 AWFUL. SOMEONE KNOCK THIS GUY OFF A ROOF FOR GOOD! DAMN! (Santa not Cal)

Sandra and Carol. GOD. So much cringe! SO MUCH! BECAUSE OF BAD PARENTING. HOW DO THEY SUCK SO MUCH AT BEING PARENTS? WE ALREADY HAD 3 MOVIES OF THIS AND CAROL WAS NEVER A W F U L

(RIP spider on Carol's shoulder)

Carol and Scott talking about the kids was just. They are SO OUT OF TOUCH. AND SCOTT HAS A SISTER??? I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS PERIODT. He has only child energy, and wow did he EVER suck at reassuring Carol. Anyone else sick of Old White Men? Anyone?

Sandra reading the transformation spell and then accidentally doing it is deffs foreshadowing. She's gonna transform the SHIT out of Magnus, calling it NOW

EB HAS APPEARED! KIDNAPPED BY OLGA! ICONIC! And they were PALS??? Magnus I am so intrigued. Who Are You

And obligatory "BLERG BLAH CONTINUITY" re: EB being there all the way back then

NTS: There is an Easter Gopher too. I am taking notes.

Scott being an undignified, pathetic name: GET HIS ASS (count: 9)

EB is so wrong about Peeps. He is falling lower and lower on my list of Legendary Figures. Him laying the egg. Cool EB magic, disgusting execution. I am 99% sure bunnies don't even LAY EGGS

Where tf do they get the eggs from???

OKAY CAL AND SANDRA

Love that they're having sibling bonding. "doing it for everyone but yourself" GET HIS ASS, SANDY. (GHA Count for Cal: 1). Hate how short the scene was and how it boiled down to a sort of silly joke (being a crossguard instead of Santa). Like. They could;ve axed the dinner with Noel scene, cut tight to Santa training Buddy (Cal), and after that debacle moved on to sibling scene and having them bond. Like. There is substance and it is there but it is not being well executed. LET THE KIDS HAVE ROOM FOR GROWTH! (but dani! we have 3 more episodes to go! SEE MY FIRST LIST! THEY DON'T HAVE THE TIME!)

Santa asking for a jetpack and Carol being like "don't force your son up there to get over the heights thing" and then telling him to just say "I love you and I'm proud", GET HIS ASS (GHA Count Scott Edition: 10. And we're not even halfway through the episode). GOD. I wish Carol would take her own advice re: Santa and Cal and apply it to Sandra and Herself, come the fuck ON guys. DO BETTER.

DINNER WITH BEFANA (Scott: can't make it Carol: Gonna kill him. GET HIS ASS)

Cool idea, HORRIBLE execution. I am not a fan of how Carol was like "woo! ladies being ladies!" and them immediately we get a plotline of her being jealous of another woman. It's very. Token/preformative feminism. It's like they are checking items off of a list. I dislike how SHALLOW most of these subjects are in the series. Like, if you don't know how to handle something like that, THEN DON'T WRITE IT. GOD.

Like. When Sandy lifts the salt with magic, SUPPORT IT. Don't be like I NEED TO ONE UP IT. Also, interesting that Mrs. Claus. Despite being Legendary by marriage. Doesn't have magic?? I think she should. GIVE CAROL MAGIC 2k23. Carol overreacted and then so did Sandy and I just think that this whole La Befana/Mrs. Claus plotline could've been done better!

Especially Befana inviting Carol over and then Carol promptly asking if she should bring a broom, something something, witch stereotypes being a thinly veiled allusion to magical racism something something

I BET IF BUDDY HAD GONE WITH CHARLIE TO THE "CLUB" HE WOULD'VE GOT IN JUST FINE

"Are you talking to the float or me" I am SO angry for Cal/Buddy. The poor kid thinks his Dad is super not proud of him, his whole existence seems to hinge on his dad's approval and I am so upset about all the implications of this I'm gonna explode things with my MIND

"Hare to the throne" Cal you are so stupid. And my GOD the Hare vs Heir argument being the reason Sandy explodes things like I just. That could've been done better.

This whole SCENE could've been done better! Befana didn't need to be so mean! It was an ACCIDENT. She explains it loud and clear and what do you MEAN something else entirely I'm SCREAMING. Befana being like we're stepping back? Like. UGH. And then the jealousy thing? Oh wow! More pitting ladies against ladies! GOD. I'm so upset about this whole thing it's unreal ):<

OKAY. SO THE SLEIGH STEALING SCENE AND WHERE THAT GOES.

WE LOVE TO SEE BUDDY AND SANDRA BONDING! STEALING THE SLEIGH! (not to get all OCs on main but JACQUELINE APPROVES). I love to see them working together to be delinquents, but my GOD the Riley thing

UGH

Like. I know we're supposed to feel bad for Buddy but like, the whole romance between him and Riley has been so ick and the way their breakup went. It was like. You KNOW. It was written to be poignant with lines like "you're always busy with your dad" and "I want you to dust me so that you never met me" which would have worked if. You know. They weren't FIVE. (16-18). It just didn't work :\. I haven't had time to like, enjoy them and they made Riley very, very. Unlikable tbh.

ALSO. Cal from CALGARY? As a Canadian, THERE ARE A BUNCH OF OTHER PLACES YOU COULD'VE PICKED! VANCOUVER? TORONTO? YOU WENT WITH CAL FROM CALGARY? I can't with y'all. ALSO. THEY DID SCHOOL TOGETHER FOR A YEAR. I FEEL AS THOUGH THE KIDS SHOULD KNOW WHO HE IS. OH YEAH THAT WEIRD EXCHANGE STUDENT WE HAD FOR A YEAR. Y'ALL ARE DOING LONG DISTANCE? SUPER! LIKE. HELLO???

Kudos to Sandra for being the funniest bitch alive with the creeping in the corner like "That was rough af bud." It's giving

ehehehe.

And FINALLY Mad Santa has his magic back. Here's how I'm guessing the next episode is going to work:

Mad Santa practises using his magic to make Santaopolis all fancy smancy

Manages to make it up north by the end of the episode

Cal has a fallout with his Dad over the Santa vest thing

It becomes a bigger deal than expected

Sandy cameo probably bc EB is missing and he was last seen THERE (Man Santa, you're really getting on the Council's radar in all the bad ways, huh? Putting Jack to shame! 273 counts of attempted upstaging of Santa vs how many billion counts of magical exposure? And an EB kidnapping? Bc I bet that'll be a thing posited next episode)

As if La Befana can't undo a spell (I AM ROLLING MY EYES)

They will make ZERO progress on figuring out who Mad Santa is and they will be very confused when he makes it to the North Pole next episode

I also tho wouldn't be surprised if they stretch Mad Santa getting to the Pole to episode 6. That seems on brand for how they treat pacing (as if it does not exist).

tl;dr: too much preformative stuff. very mid. Cal and Sandy are fun but I wish they were given more time to shine! Pour one out for our boy Noel who is having a rough go of it tbh and Kris too who's gonna get back from Costco very, very confused

#other thoughts: noel having the claus's over for food was fun. wish it had had a point aside from a scene transition #'YOUR SHAME IS SAFE WITH US' followed by olga liking marshmallows lmao that was silly #THEN THEY TRIED TO RIDESHARE WITH A GOAT??? amazing.#the santa clauses #tscs #dani watches tscs #long post #tscs wank #bc this isn't very positive and if y'all see this and are enjoying the series? i strongly suggest scrolling past it!#dani speaks

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gameofbrodon-blog · 5 years

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On a scale of deffs gonna die to probs gonna die... S8E2 recap and S8E3 predictions

Aloha Brodie, here is my recap for S8E2.

I’m gonna do this a little differently - with the Battle of Winterfell happening on Monday (RIP my soul) and a lot of characters dying in the battle, I’m going to rate each character on a scale from Probs Gonna Die, Legit Might Die and Deffs Dying based off their plot lines in Ep 2. There is no safe on this rating scale, because let’s be honest... no one is safe in this episode.

Cos we got a lot of full circle moments, lots of characters achieved things they’ve been working towards for a long time, so that means they’re dying. Soz I don’t make the rules, I just recap them.

Let’s start with our forever third wheel, Ser Jorah. J Dawg starts the ep by counselling Dany to forgive Tyrion. It seems he’s accepted that he’s never going to get her love (in the way he wants it) and that he’s never going to be the brains she needs (that she gets from Tyrion). Next time we see him, he’s asking / telling his cousin, badass boss bitch Lyanna Mormont to go to the crypts where it’s safe and she’s all Beyonce about it and basically starts singing Girls (Who Run The World) to shut him up. Such a badass. And then, Sam interrupts to give Jorah his family sword. He makes this whole speech about how Jorah’s daddy-o aka Lord Commander Jeor from the Nights Watch was like a father to Sam etc etc etc and if he can’t have Jeor’s sword (remember, Jeor gave the fam sword to Jonny boy, but changed the Bear on the hilt to a Wolf, and thats now Jon’s sword Longclaw) then he’d like Jorah to have the Tarly fam sword. This is a circle closing for J Dawg, so I’m rating him a Deffs Dying. RIP Jorah.

Moving on to our KWEEN ICON M’LADY Brienne of Tarth. Darling Brienne, I genuinely hope she doesn’t die yet. God I love her. She starts the ep by backing Jamie, and calling him a Man of Honour (TBT to that scene in the bath in an earlier season when she called him a Man Without Honour and he told her about WHY he killed the Mad King). Next, we see her watching Pod train other soldiers with pride in her eyes (side note - Pod got Hot?!) and then chatting with Jaime “Heart Eyes” Lannister. Jaime offers to fight under her (oo-er) as a common soldier, and it’s a real moment of respect, cos he’s showing her that he has more faith in her than he has in himself. Finally, she joins the Drinking Bros (trademark pending) by the fire. Our best bud Tormund asks why she’s not a knight. She says “Tradition” and our feminist best bud replies “FUCK TRADITION”. Cos this is a pissing contest between Tormund and Jaime who both LUUUUUURVE Brienne, Jaime then offers to make her a knight. Cue Brienne kneeling, Jaime doing the thing, and Brienne crying and smiling like the angel she is. This is legit full circle, and all signs point to death, but because I love her so, I’m rating Brienne a Legit Might Die for my own sanity. NOT A DEFFS DEAD OK.

Let’s move on to our Feminist Best Bud Tormund. I loved him tackle-hugging Jonny Boy and calling him “Little Crow” Awww! FRIENDS! He reveals he drank giants milk for 3 months and that’s why he’s so strong. Iconic. Then reveals he’s an undercover feminist out to destroy the patriarchy. Then applauds Brienne when she becomes a knight. Bro hasn’t had any circle moments, he’s not dying. He’s a Probs Gonna Die but like pretty sure not. His whole thing has been that he wants to make giant babies with Brienne, and that hasn’t happened so he’s not dying yet.

Now, Jaime. Our Kingslayer is all grown up. Buddy arrives in Winterfell and has to convince Angry Dany that he should stay. Brienne defends him, and it’s really a moment of significance for him, because he has so much love and respect for her, so it really shines through that she now has the upper hand in their relationship, which is growth for him to concede that. Then he chats with his bro Tyrion about Cersei, and Tyrion calls him out for letting Cersei get the best of him. Jaime doesn’t argue - more growth. He knows his mistakes and he’s learning from them. Then he goes down to Brienne and offers to fight FOR her, not WITH her. Buddy is giving her the power, he’s not taking it from her like he would have done in the past. So much Heart Eyes in this scene. Cut to later and they’re by the fire and he Knights her. SO MUCH CIRCLE CLOSING. I’m sorry to say it, but I think he’s gonna die on Monday. I just, I have a feeling in my gut. It’s gonna happen. Poor guy. Jaime is DEFFS DYING. Soz.

Now, our gal Arya. ARYA GOT LAID. WHAT?! I, like everyone else on the planet, had to google her age. She’s 18. And go girl for snagging your boy Gendry. That love story began in Season 1! Finally they banged. YASSSSS! But, I don’t think that’s a significant circle moment for her. There’s more to come for Arya, so she’s a PROBS GONNA DIE.

Sansa. What a character arc that one has had. From spoiled brat to Lady of Winterfell. I enjoyed her back and forth with Dany, and her not backing down when she asked what was going to happen in the North. And I LOVED her reaction to seeing Theon. I ship them. Thesa is the hottest new couple of 2019. Gotta say though, I don’t see her dying yet. She’s going to continue to rule the North after they win. OR, she’ll be sitting on the Iron Throne. No Circle Moments here. PROBS GONNA DIE. (But like not really).

Jesus this is a long post. Not even sorry. This is basically therapy for me as I prep for Monday.

Sam/Gilly/Baby Sam. All safe. If anyone is going to survive till the end, it’s these 3. Sam is too smart to die yet, and Gilly/Baby Sam are too resilient to die yet. PROBS GONNA DIE. Also no circle moments this ep, not really.

Edd aka the third member of the Nights Watch Bros (copyright pending). He’s the only one of the three bros who will die. They didn’t write a scene where they discussed how the last one alive has to burn the others if at least one of them isn’t gonna die. RIP Edd. DEFFS DYING.

Tyrion. Our Hand of the Queen hasn’t come full circle yet. He’s achieved a lot, and he’s almost closed the circle (the fire chat with Jaime about Self-Betterment suggests that) but he’s not quiiiiiiite there yet. More to come. I see him as Hand of whoever sits on the Iron Throne in the end. How badass would it be if Sansa sat on the Throne and Tyrion was her hand?! PROBS GONNA DIE.

The Onion Knight, Ser Davos. Poor Davos has been through some shit this series. Losing his son, then Shireen who he basically adopted. And then this episode he has that chat with the little girl with scars on her face who wants to fight. He’s basically the dad of the show, and he’s going to die just to destroy us emotionally. DEFFS DYING. RIP Davos.

Pod. This is a hard one. Poddy Boy is hot now, so I feel like he might die cos of that? Why give us stubble and wavy hair if not to tease us with what we can’t have ever again??? Maybe he repeats his actions at the Battle of Blackwater Bay when he saved Tyrion? But this time, he saves Brienne by taking an arrow for her or something? I’m in the middle, dunno. LEGIT MIGHT DIE.

DANY. Dany isn’t gonna die yet. Like seriously. She has much to learn young padawan. Is that the right quote? I dunno, that line just came into my head from star wars and I cbf fact checking it. She hasn’t finished her circle. We need more drama between her and Jon now that she knows Jon is her nephew. Maybe the real final battle at the end is between her and Jon???? PROBS GONNA DIE.

Jonny Boy. He’s not dying. LOL. As if anyone thinks he will. Jon is gonna live at least one more ep for the same reasons as Dany... The Drama still needs to unfold. PROBS GONNA DIE.

And finally... Ghost. IF GHOST DIES I RIOT. I’M NOT GIVING GHOST A RATING. GHOST LIVES OR I RIOT IN THE STREETS OF SYDNEY.

Fuck Winter. Can it be Summer yet???

x Jords

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