#dad and tasha are just. exhausted and resigned. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beholdthemem · 2 years

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It's going to be heavy around here for... fuck, I don't know. A while. And I know that's not something everybody's in a place to deal with, so if you need to avoid it probably blacklist my 'personal' tag for a while.

#personal #i don't wanna fuck anybody else up #i need to be not okay somewhere though and doing it irl is not going to be helpful right now #taly keeps having crying jags and nana's practically sleepwalking through every day because this can't be fucking happening #dad and tasha are just. exhausted and resigned.#granddad...#how do you handle preparing yourself and your family for your own death?#dangling above you like the sword of damocles knowing it's going to fall and soon but not knowing when #i hate everything. this is so fucking cruel. it's not fair no doctor caught this in time to stop it.#i hate that this feels like mom all over again.#i hate that every single one of us is just grimly trying to get through every day while getting as much awful work done #as we can.#there are moments where we all sit and talk about other things and everything feels normal again #and those feel so precious that i want to squeeze them tightly #i have started turning my phone to video when we're all talking at those times #just to capture the conversations we're having like normal because i know we're about to lose that normal forever #and i need proof that they happened so i don't lose them forever when my memory fails #i know that's not great to do morally.#i don't care.#i don't care about much right now.

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